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A few weeks had passed since Etheria (and the universe) had been saved by the power of Gay(tm). Adora and Catra had precious little energy inbetween venturing to kingdom after kingdom to repair Horde Prime's damage, and spent most of their nights simply clinging to each other; exhausted, safe, and happy in each other's arms as they whispered their hopes, their fears, the deepest secrets of their heart to each other. Each a refuge for the other. On the trail, in tents, on bedspreads, and in the comfortable guest rooms of the cities and kingdoms they visited. All of them needed not only She-Ra, but Adora, and even Catra. They needed all the princesses; they needed every mind and hand to help them repair the damage done by Horde Prime. And, for all the progress that Adora had made in valuing herself, she still couldn't refuse people in need.
Catra? She tagged along to assuage her guilt over years of bad decisions and destructive campaigns. And to be around her girlfriend, of course. Some welcomed her change of heart. Others... less so. Adora was always certain to stay out of the matter of others forgiving Catra or not. She wasn't the kind of person to try to force people to forgive those who hurt them; in fact, as savior of the universe She-Ra, Adora refused to even argue the matter, seeing her influence as too overwhelming and coercive. 'You really went against She-Ra?' But Adora always, always would be Catra's shield when matters turned to violence or harassment. You could refuse to forgive Catra, but there wasn't a force in the universe which could make Adora stand aside as you hurt her girlfriend, her best friend, the love of her life.
Some days were harder than others. Some days Catra felt impossibly broken, and on those days the tears flowed freely, at least in private. Bow and Glimmer sometimes caught glimpses of that side of her, but only Adora was truly allowed to see her so vulnerable. And Adora would always hold her, kiss her head, wipe her tears away, and let Catra vent her guilt and self-loathing. Adora would always love her. Adora would always forgive her. She couldn't control the world, but she could always be Catra's refuge.
Catra did her best to put her sharp mind to repair the damage she had done as part of the Horde. Some part of her, that she would admit to no one but Adora, was still proud of it. Proud of the impact she had. That she wasn't small and insignificant and no one like she had always been told. A larger part of her felt remorse and disgust. That for the longest time she had become exactly who Shadow Weaver and the Horde wanted her to be – a destroyer of everything good and free in Etheria. That wasn't who she wanted to be. Even when she was with the Horde, it wasn't who she wanted to be. She just wanted to be free, and with Adora. And with Adora... she felt like she wanted to be a better person. To be worthy to stand beside her.
But even heroes and penitents cannot toil forever. Glimmer was not above using her influence as queen to take care of her friends.
“In the name of Queen Glimmer, First Amongst Princesses, Princess Adora and Catra, are hereby ordered to return to garrison duty at Bright Moon until commanded otherwise by royal authority.”
“This isn't a royal decree!”
Glimmer sighed and rested a hand on her cheek. “Yes, Adora, this is a royal decree. You're staying here.”
“You're just trying to get me to relax! Just like in MYSTACOR!” Adora threw her head back and groaned. There were THINGS that needed to be DONE. The idea of taking a break while she could help made her feel... helpless.
“What a horrible fate.” Catra said dryly.
Glimmer pushed on, trying to make Adora see reason. “Adora, how many hours of sleep have you had in the last week?”
She did some quick math in her head. “... 56.”
Glimmer groaned with secondhand embarrassment and put a hand to her forehead. “You're such a terrible liar.”
Adora whipped around, eyes wild, searching for egress. “C-Catra, b-back me up!”
She chuckled. “Not a chance, princess.”
“You've done enough, Adora.” Bow said. “You're fatiguing yourself and trying to keep going like nothing's changed. If you don't stop to recover, you won't be able to help anyone.”
She pointed an accusatory finger at him. “Stop being reasonable!” she snarled.
Catra held up her hand to Glimmer while Adora was distracted with Bow. Glimmer settled back. Things may not have been perfect between the two of them, but Glimmer was certain that if there were two things that Catra knew, they were manipulation, and Adora.
“Adora...” Catra rubbed her arm and very carefully avoided Adora's big, concerned eyes turning towards her at Catra's mention of her name. “... don't you want some time to spend with... me?” She lifted her chin up to meet Adora's gaze with the most heart-rending pout. It was the killing blow, perfectly timed and executed.
Adora's face turned several different shades of red in rapid succession. She knew that Catra was sly as a snake and twice as wicked, and just playing at being heartbroken, but it didn't make her any easier to refuse. Her shoulders drooped and she turned back to Glimmer, head bowed in defeat. “... as Your Majesty commands...” she groaned.
Bow nodded sagely. “The wise listen to their girlfriends. It's the key to a happy life. Especially when she pouts. Personal experience.”
Glimmer suddenly realized she was being used as a reference point and lunged forward on her throne. “I do not pout!”
*****
“This place is amazing, Adora.” Catra said in the grand dining room, empty of people at the odd hour and Glimmer's orders for all hands to be out where people needed help instead of waiting on her. Catra had seen Bright Moon from the outside – namely, from the siege line a few years ago – but the inside was even more luxurious than she could have imagined. She put on an unimpressed front in the throne room so Sparkles wouldn't get ammunition to taunt her with, but alone with Adora, she could gawk to her heart's content. “Even when I was... you know... leading the Horde...” Her ears twitched involuntarily. “I never got anything close to this.”
Catra's lean body was all bone and sinew. Months of eating anything other than ration bars had begun to push her past the precipice of underweight, but only barely. Years of gray and brown sludge had ruined her natural appetite, and it would take time to recover. Which made Adora all the happier when she eagerly took to a new food. Of course, considering her low standards, eagerly taking to food was the norm rather than the exception. In the face of ration bars, even bread seemed like a luxury.
Adora was down to a white tanktop for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with wanting to feel Catra skin to skin every time she brushed up against her. Uh-uh. She sidled a shoulder up against Catra a little, taking comfort in the little bit of shared contact and warmth even as they ate their late dinner. “I remember when I first got here I couldn't believe any of it.” She paused. “I couldn't believe anything in Thaymor either.”
“Until the Horde came in and destroyed it.” Catra muttered. “With me at the head.”
“We managed to evacuate everyone.” Adora said softly. And then, with a smile, “And you got to drive a tank, remember?”
“Oh, that was awesome!” Catra perked up immediately. “They didn't let me drive tanks when they made me a Force Captain. I was supposed to leave that to 'the enlisted'.” She rolled her eyes. What was the use of getting up in the ranks if you couldn't misuse your authority? “And after that I... I was too deep in to think about anything fun.” She tried not to dwell on that. She leaned over and put her hands on Adora in excitement. “There have to be so many tanks left from the Horde! We have to take one for a joyride! Or two! And ram them against each other!”
Some part of Adora said 'This is a bad idea, this is a very bad idea, this is a Catra idea, abort'. A much larger, more vocal, and somewhat dumber part of Adora said, “Catra... that is a great plan! Who needs those tanks anymore? The war's over and we're not going to be fighting anyone anytime soon!” Now that was the sort of thing they dreamed about as cadets. Reckless abuse of military-grade equipment! She deflated as she remembered Glimmer's 'decree'. “But we're stuck here for now.”
“Pfft, those vehicle depots aren't going anywhere. We've got all the time in the world. Oh, we are gonna tear up some serious dirt!” Her voice cracked with excitement and her eyes positively sparkled. It was the second-happiest Adora had seen her since they returned to Bright Moon. The first was when Adora introduced her to blueberry pancakes.
“Yeah, we've got all the time in the world. Other people aren't so lucky.” Her heart went out to the suffering, the lost, the despairing. She-Ra could help them. She-Ra had helped them! So what was she doing cooped up in-
“Adora, just drop all of that for once.” Catra could see where her mind was going just from the look on her face. She thought about playing her heartstrings, but she knew that would ultimately just bottle Adora's reaction up. All Catra wanted was for Adora to be... happy. To be able to enjoy the world she sacrificed so much for. “C'mon. You've earned a break. We saved the universe, remember? You can enjoy it a little without being a bad person. Promise.”
“I just don't want to be stuck here, doing nothing. The only reason I want to be here is because...” Adora gave her a coquettish glance. “... you're here.”
Catra, on the other hand, was not nearly so vulnerable to being manipulated by her girlfriend. In fact, she saw an opportunity instead. “Oh, really? The only reason?” Catra's grin turned rapacious. “Then I guess I can have the rest of the pancakes?”
“Don't you dare!”
Fencing with forks, the two static titans battled over their precious hoard, drops of syrup the far-flung casualties of war. Catra flipped Adora's fork out of her hand with all the skill of a master fencer. “Ha! Now you have to sleep on your old bedroll too!”
“Okay, okay, you made your point.” Adora laughed and leaned over to pick up her fork from the floor. “It is nice to be back.” she admitted.
“Well, I guess I'll let you sleep in my bed, then. Just for tonight.”
Adora scoffed. “YOUR bed? Uh, I think you mean MY bed.”
“Well, obviously you didn't want it that badly, so it's mine now.”
Adora narrowed her eyes. “How do you know my room even has a bed? Maybe I sleep on the floor to keep myself tough.”
Catra snorted. “Oh, please. The princesses've made you so soft.”
Adora grabbed her, heedless of the lingering syrup, and forcibly cuddled her. “I don't remember hearing you complain when you snuggle up against me and use my belly as your pillow.”
Catra shrugged, affecting disinterest. “Eh. You have your uses.” As Adora pulled her closer, Catra pushed her away. “Ugh, you're all sticky!”
“So're you!” Adora laughed. But she didn't mind.
Catra felt... safe. She wiped off a little syrup and looked at her girlfriend out of the corner of her eye. “Thanks, Adora.” she murmured. When Adora looked confused, she said, “You make me feel like everything's alright. You're always, you know... rescuing me from myself.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like... when I break down.” Her ears twitched. She really didn't want to go into detail. Especially not since Adora had witnessed so many of those incidents. Spending night after night wishing for death, sobbing into her pillow, coughing out apologies and curses for every memory she had as Adora stroked her hair and told her that it was all over, she deserved her redemption, she was safe.
“Oh.” Adora nudged her warmly. “You do the same for me.”
“Like when?”
“Uh, like always?” Adora raised an eyebrow. “Catra, I can't even count the number of times I've crawled into bed thinking I'm the biggest failure on Etheria and you've been there immediately, telling me everything is going to be alright and I've done so much already and that the world doesn't have to be on my shoulders.”
“Yeah, but... all of that is... true.”
“Ha! I've got you now!” Adora's killer instinct kicked in, honed by going toe-to-toe with Catra since they were both kids. “You know I'm a terrible liar. So since I say you've been there me as much as I've been there for you, you gotta admit it's the truth!”
Catra blushed and turned her head, unable to stop herself from smiling. “I believe you believe it.”
“Nope! Objective truth speaker right here!” Adora grinned and kissed her cheek. “Guess you're stuck being a good person!”
On one hand, Catra wanted to refute that immediately, to point out everything she'd done wrong. On the other hand... she didn't think she was a good person, but she was trying to be a better one. And that included less wallowing in pity and self-loathing. So instead, she let her girlfriend's sweet words wash over her with a soothing warmth, and pushed at her playfully. “Idiot...”
“Dumb as a rock!” Adora said cheerfully. “But still right!” Her grin became impossibly smug. “Didn't you hear what Bow said about wise women listening to their girlfriends?” They tangled together, a mess of limbs and energy as Adora pounced on top of her, giggling and snorting.
“Ugh! You're unbearable!” Catra squirmed out from under Adora, laughing all the while. Adora let her escape without further pursuit, choosing instead to casually stretch as though she hadn't just tumbled off the dining table's bench. Catra felt unusually worked up, gasping and puffing. It wasn't much of an effort to wiggle out from under Adora, but she felt her heart slamming against her chest and her muscles tensed like she just sprinted across the whole of Bright Moon. And despite the chilly evening air, she felt altogether too warm.
Adora's body wasn't soft, Catra thought. It was safety. It was peace. It was beauty. The way the light caught the round contours of her face and glistened in those beautiful blue eyes, the way the muscles in her arms and shoulders rippled in the lantern light, the- “Are you okay, Catra? You look a little out of it.”
Catra snapped back to the present. “Huh? Yeah! I'm fine!” She stiffened up and unbushed her tail best she could. “A-anyway, I'm done eating. What next?”
“It's getting pretty late.” Adora mused. “Oh! I haven't shown you my room!” she said excitedly. And then, with a hint of shyness, but unable to break eye contact, “Or... our room, now, I guess.”
That sent Catra's heart racing again, this time for reasons she thought she understood. “I'd like that, Adora.” She intertwined her fingers with Adora's, and smiled at that beautiful, dumb, blonde angel. The two had resumed sharing a room immediately after their return to Etheria, despite Glimmer's offer to find Catra space of her own both on the trail and at Bright Moon. For the lovebirds, it wasn't even about their newfound romance. It was just... natural for them. Sharing a room, sharing a bed, even, was their normal. After the long absence from each other's lives, they needed that return to normalcy before they could move on.
It wasn't perfectly smooth. Far from it, in fact. Between the nightmares of their past, the natural clashes of personality, and the tension born of years of fighting each other, their progress was rocky and uneven. Sometimes silence ruled where speech would have been better. Sometimes they snapped in anger or frustration. But living together again also gave them that precious human contact they so desperately needed; whispering to each other into the small hours of the night, the security of hearing the soft breathing of the other sleeping, the comfort of having someone who could read you without so much as a word after a miserable day.
Also, good morning and good night smooches were the best. But that was a part of moving on from their old normal.
Adora coughed nervously and blushed as she led Catra by the hand. “I guess we'll be really living together now, huh? Not just sharing a room on the road.” She smiled at her – Catra was so very beautiful. For the first time since she'd known her, Adora saw her at peace these past few months. It made her want to sit down and cry with happiness. “I hope you can get comfortable here.”
Catra smiled and motioned with a tilt of her head. “Melog looks comfortable.” Melog was already curled up next to the kitchen oven, snoozing peacefully.
“I don't want to wake them, but...” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Will they know where to find us?”
“Pfft. Of course. They don't need to see us to find us.”
“Oh, right, magic.”
“Uh, no, they have a nose.” Catra snorted. “Something you don't seem to use.” Adora blew her nose on Catra's finger out of spite. “Ugh, gross!”
*****
Adora's room was every bit as luxurious as the rest of the castle, to Catra's surprise. She had expected something at least a little more spartan, considering Adora's need to always be selflessly suffering, but the room was all but gilded. Little hints of Adora were sprinkled throughout, like flowers in a meadow. A literal drawing board for planning, an empty space set out for late-night exercise, a punching bag with a frownie face taped on... what a dork! Catra smiled at it all. She'd never seen the room before, but it was familiar all the same.
And then she found the war table.
Catra snickered as she leaned over to get a better look. “What, did Bow make these dolls for you?”
Adora coughed and had the decency to look embarrassed. “We, uh, used them for planning.”
“Wow, here's me, big bad villain... and Sparkles... Bow himself... and...” Her face turned red. It was Adora. Just Adora. Not She-Ra. Just Adora, in her dumb red jacket and with that dumb look on her face. Catra had no real opinion on the cutesy stylization of the rest, other than that it was obviously well-done (not that she would admit it in front of Bow), but the Adora... was her Adora. The base fit so comfortably between her fingers. She smiled weakly at it.
And Adora had that stupid smug smirk on her face as she leaned in to Catra's peripheral vision. “Wow. You seem really engrossed. I never took you for a doll kind of girl.”
“S-shut up!” Adora snatched the figure out of her unsuspecting hands, and Catra's heart stopped.
Adora pretended to give it a cursory look. “And this one in particular? Wow, better be careful, Catra.” Adora held the figure in the air as high as she could as Catra practically climbed her to get it back. “Someone might think you like me.”
Catra snatched it with a lightning-fast swipe. “Yeah, my reputation would be ruined if I liked a dweeb like you.” Face red with embarrassment, she stole another glance at the cute little figurine in her hand. She hesitated before putting it down.
“Do you wanna keep that one?” Adora said softly.
Yes! Catra's internal voice said. YES YES YES YES YES. “I don't even know where I'd put it.”
“You can leave it there if you like.” Adora said, “But it's your's now.” She cocked her head at Catra with a gentle smile.
Catra's face burned. “Oh. Y-yeah... thanks...” She felt like she had steam billowing off of her. How was Adora so perfect?
Catra didn't even want to be her. So pretty and nice and good. Catra liked being cool, aloof, and cynical. But Adora made it all so endearing... Catra loved that about her. She loved that stupid lug.
Adora noticed the look in Catra's eyes and pretended not to see. Not because she thought there was anything wrong with it, but because she loved being looked at like that and Catra was always skittish about showing her softer side. Even alone, she put up false fronts for appearance. They'd work on that, but in that moment, Adora just wanted to bask in the feeling of her girlfriend loving her SO MUCH from across the room.
After a few moments of adoring Adora, Catra returned to exploring the alien-yet-familiar room. One feature in particular drew her rapt attention. Eyes like dinner plates, she crept up to it, and looked to make sure no one, Adora most of all, was looking. When she was satisfied that there were no eyes on her, she batted at the waterfall with a hand, watching, entranced as the stream divided and engrossed her hand, and then just as quickly became whole when she removed it. They had running water in the Horde, but even Catra knew better than to waste it. As a cadet, that earned her a beating. As a Force Captain, that earned her an automated system shutting off her water for a day. Once satisfied that the waterfall was not going anywhere, she called out to Adora, “I'm surprised you took a room this fancy!”
“What? I can enjoy things too!”
Catra crept back into the room like some kind of domestic feline, striding about as if she already owned the place. “Oh, please. The only time you aren't martyring yourself is you're being showered with praise. Or food.”
“Hey, I've seen you inhale whole meals just as fast as me!” Speed, Catra had. Volume? She couldn't even come close to matching Adora. “I have to make up for almost two decades of ration bars.” She stuck her tongue out in exaggerated disgust. “I never realized that even the gray ration bars were actually incredibly gross.” She shuddered, remembering that at least the gray ones didn't taste like anything in particular. “Besides, you haven't really seen me at my... best.” She tossed herself back on the bed and sighed, a hand over her eyes. “I guess things have been rough forever, huh? That first year... before you took over the Horde... I had the time of my life, Catra.” She sighed, remembering sleeping over with Bow and Glimmer and telling ghost stories in the forest and having celebrations and discoveries and just general fun. “I just wish you could've been there too.”
“I could have.” Catra said bitterly.
“Hey. You're here now.” She kissed her forehead. “It's all in the past, right?” She touched her cheek gently as she looked into those two-tone eyes. “We have so much of a future ahead of us!” Adora's eager smile was hard to fight against. How could she be so genuine all the time? “Be excited, Catra. You deserve it.”
Her first urge was to deny it. Her coping strategy for her mistakes her whole life had been blaming other people, and she no longer had that technique to fall back on. It was hard, dealing with guilt head-on. She couldn't use Adora as a shield against it all the time. But sometimes, it's okay to lean on others. Catra expressed this literally, pressing her head against Adora, who took that as a cue to scratch her behind the ears. She missed that. She never had anyone else she'd trust with seeing her like this. Muscles all untensed, eyes closed in ecstasy, tail swishing happily. And purring. “Dumb...” she murmured into Adora's shoulder. “Dumb dumb dumb...”
“Hey, I can stop.” If Catra actually asked, she would, but Adora knew her. Light insults were just her way of showing affection. A lifetime in the Horde had done its best to beat tender expressions out of their vocabulary, but banter... they didn't pay attention to banter. Those insults were the terms of affection they had developed.
“Idiot...” An age-old response. And then, a much newer one: “I love you so much...”
Adora choked up. She hated how randomly it hit her. “I love you too...” she squeaked.
Catra's inherent instinct to seize on weakness was dulled by the scritches on her head and the warm body she was pressed against. Or leaning half-limp against. This was her paradise.
“Hey, I still have to put our clothes away.”
“Mmm... don't do it... just stay here...”
“If I don't do it it's not gonna get done.” She kissed Catra on the head. “I know you, Miss 'I Live Out Of My Bag'.”
“Fi-i-i-ne.” Catra reluctantly detached herself from Adora and stripped off her shirt and pants, tossing them over to Adora. She stretched out as she straightened back up. Adora was busy folding and neatly organizing all of their ('their', how Catra loved that) clothes into her dresser. Perfect. Catra threw herself onto Adora's bed. Her bedroll always smelled of the road and the wilderness, and they were never in any town long enough to really get situated. That bed, though... it just smelled like her. No one and nothing else. Catra made sure Adora wasn't looking before pulling a pillow close to her chest and breathing in Adora's sweet scent. She closed her eyes and let a warm feeling of intimacy wash over her. Her Adora, her girlfriend, her scent. Catra owned it. Adora was her's, all of her. She may not have been ashamed of how she felt about Adora anymore, but she still had her dignity! Adora would think it was cute, and then Catra would have to deny it, and- “Catra? Are you... hugging my pillow?”
“What? No! Shut up!” Catra's eyes flicked open in panic and she threw the pillow at her.
Adora effortlessly caught it with a big, happy grin. “Aww, don't be embarrassed!”
“I'm not embarrassed! Because I wasn't hugging your pillow! I just wanted to see if it was better than those stupid bedrolls.” Catra's face burned crimson. She knew better than to meet Adora's gaze. It was either smug or lovey-dovey, and both drove her mad (in very different ways). She crossed her arms and dangled her legs off the bed, refusing to look directly at Adora.
Adora sat down on the bed beside her, hairtie off, stripped of her shirt and pants. Catra took a glance at her bare arms when she thought Adora wouldn't notice. “Is it that it smells like me?”
Catra couldn't deny it. Not when Adora used that gentle, innocent tone. “... yes...” she muttered, still looking away.
“I like the way you smell too.” Adora leaned in to embrace her, and nuzzled against her neck. Her voice was so soft, and gentle, and loving... “I always have.” Catra smiled, too weak to fight it off. She loved Adora so much. It felt absolutely overpowering at times. “I love the way you look with short hair.” Adora whispered, “But I miss your long, wild mane. I could bury my face in it and feel so safe, even in the Fright Zone. Like all my senses were part of your personal world, and nothing else mattered.”
“How did we not know we were crushing on each other stupid hard?” Catra murmured happily, leaning into Adora. “Like, not even an inkling?”
Adora blushed. “I always wanted to accuse you of having a crush on me outright.” she said, “Not because I saw it, but because I wanted it to be true, so badly. I mean, I didn't think that was why I wanted to do it at the time. I told myself I just wanted to do it to see the look on your face. But looking back, I always got so nervous and excited thinking about it...”
Catra chuckled and took Adora's hands in her's. “We're complete idiots. How did we survive this long?”
“The power of love.” Adora grinned and nuzzled her nose against Catra's.
“You're such a sap.” But the breathlessness in her tone told her that Adora was her sap.
“Ready to go to bed, madam?” Adora opened her blue eyes and looked at her with such innocent earnestness. Catra couldn't help turn beet red at the look.
“That's not where the emphasis goes, dummy.” she muttered, but made no other objection to Adora turning off the lights. Laying there in the dark of night, both in their nightwear, coiled around each other... that was happiness.
Adora kissed her, ever so shyly, ever so sweetly. Even so, she had gotten good at it, Catra had to admit; neither of them knew anything except bliss at the Heart of Etheria, but subsequent kisses led to them both agreeing that they would need a lot of practice. And boy, a lot of practice they were determined to put in. After a time engrossed in physical affection, Adora drew back, breathless. “I love you so much, Catra...”
“I love you too.” she whispered. And then, “When did you realize you loved me?” Her curiosity flared up. “As more than a friend?”
Adora paused at the topic, but it was something they were... getting used to again. Just laying in bed together, asking each other questions, some dumb, some earnest. She said quietly, “I... I knew I loved you when I saw you on Horde Prime's ship. I realized I... would've done anything to save you from that. Traded anything. I was too afraid to admit it to you afterwards. I thought you didn't feel the same, or you'd feel pressured after being rescued, and I'd lose you, and I...” Adora choked up. “I can't imagine a world without you in it. Even when we were fighting, knowing you were out there was... I dunno. Comforting?”
“The night before you went to the Heart of Etheria, when I ran away...” Catra nuzzled against Adora to comfort her. “I told Melog that I couldn't go back to you because you didn't need me. And... you didn't want me.” She opened her eyes, soft tears and a smile. “Not like the way I wanted you. Dumb, huh?”
Adora coughed a laugh out. “All while I was crying your name over and over again in the middle of the woods because I thought I'd lost you without telling you how I felt.”
She'd hurt Adora. Running from her had hurt her, and Catra didn't even think about it. Catra's ears flattened against her head. “I'm sorry, Adora.” she said quietly.
“That's not why I brought it up.” Adora smiled and cupped Catra's cheek. “Just another sign that we were dumber than bricks when it came to each other.”
“Or too scared to admit that there was a chance we could...” Catra took a deep breath and searched for the right words. “... be happy.” She raised her eyebrows. “Face it, Adora. The Horde did a number on us. I sabotaged others' happiness, and you sabotaged your own. The villain and the martyr, what a pair we make.”
“What a couple we make.” Adora corrected, with raw affection in her eyes and in her voice.
Catra blushed and agreed. “What a couple.”
“We started out a pair. A disastrous duo.” Adora caressed her cheek. “You were mine the moment I first saw you.” Remembering that first-sight eager hug, she mused that it was a miracle – or fate – that Catra didn't tear her to pieces immediately. “I just didn't know where that'd eventually lead us to.”
“Oh, please.” Catra murmured, “I claimed you first.” She buried her head under Adora's chin, purring like a motor. “You were the only one I'd even come near for the longest time. Willingly, at least.”
Adora nestled into her, heart still heavy with the memory of that day. Voice quiet, she said, “At the Heart, I saw you twice when you... well, weren't there. The first time was with Bow and Glimmer. I sprinted towards your voice. If it'd been a trap, I would have been dead. Instead I think it was just the malfunctioning AI searching through my head. You just said... 'hey, Adora', in the sweetest possible voice, and then I saw you. Like, all the yous. From when we were, uh... 14 or so, all the way up to present you. You put your hand on my cheek, and then you were just... gone.” She swallowed hard, the pain flooding back to her. “I loved you for so long, I just... refused to see it.” Adora sighed, breath uneven. “The second time, when I... I was on the edge...” Catra's ears twitched. She hated thinking about that, Adora in her arms, on the verge of death. “I dreamt of you and me and Bow and Glimmer. Just all of us together, and happy.” Tears poured down her face, of no single emotion. A confused melange. Her voice hoarse and uneven, she continued, “You were so beautiful, Catra. Your hair was tied back, and you looked healthy, and you had this white jacket over your shoulder... if Horde Prime hadn't interrupted me to tell me I'd never have that future, I don't know if I would've woken up.” She shook her head, tears dripping down onto the sheet and pillows. “I wasn't even thinking about anything except taking your hand. That was my whole world.”
Horde Prime. Even dead, she hated him. “You'll get that future, Adora.” Catra said firmly, the intersection of spite and love transforming her into an unstoppable force. Her voice cracked, taking an octave too high for the reassuring tone she wanted. “I'll make sure you do.” Catra's hair was still too short to tie back, but Catra reflected that that was actually a pretty good idea, since she lost the mask that used to keep her wild hair out of her face.
She choked down a few sobs, and said, “You were wearing my pin in that dream. I remember that made me so unbearably happy...”
Catra tapped the pin on her shirt. “Is that why you gave it to me?”
“Yeah. I guess it makes me feel like... like that future is real.” She smiled, gentle and weak, but happy. “Like we can still get it, despite everything.”
“We can.” Catra only had the barest notion of that future, but she wanted it. Just to be happy... “I'll get you that future, Adora. I promise.”
Adora laughed and hiccoughed. “Are you sure? Glimmer was trying to brush you.”
Catra batted at her face playfully. “Psh. As if she'd ever catch me. I'm way faster.”
“Maybe we're already there.”
“I dunno, my hair's still too short to tie up.”
“I'm happy.” She sniffed and smiled at her unimaginably cute girlfriend. “Are you happy, Catra?”
“Are you kidding?” Catra's ears perked with surprise. “These past few months have been like the first time in my life I've been happy!” Her eyes softened with happy affection. “Of course I'm happy, dummy! I wouldn't be here otherwise!”
“Then I think we're there.”
“You idiot...” Catra couldn't fight the lump rising in her throat. “You're gonna make me cry...”
“That's okay.” Adora kissed her and pushed a strand of hair out of her face. “I love you no matter what you're doing.”
There it was. The way she always wanted Adora to look at her. Catra muttered halfhearted insults into Adora's chest as Adora's strong arms wrapped around her. She was happy. She really was happy. She didn't know what to do with it.
Adora was happy.
Catra's heart slammed against her chest. Was this going to be the rest of her life? She could deal with that. She clung to Adora as she rolled over, letting Catra be the big spoon and nuzzle into her neck.
“I love you, Catra.” she whispered.
“I love you, Adora.”
They cuddled in silence for a little while before Adora turned the question back on Catra. Voice quiet, sleepy, but still curious, she said, “So, when did you realize it?”
“I always knew I still cared about you, deep down. I mean, I guess that's kind of why I lashed out, trying to drown it out with hate and rage.” She sighed and wrapped her arms around Adora from behind. “... I think I really knew when Double Trouble found me, after I'd beaten Hordak in the Fright Zone. They changed from person to person, looking for a reaction, and they came to... you.” Catra swallowed hard. She'd had enough tears for one night. “They put my hand against your cheek, and I knew right then... I had messed everything up. That was all I'd ever wanted. For you to look at me like that, to get to feel your touch again. Even just as a friend...” Catra's heart ached with the recollection. “When Sparkles came by, I told her just to finish me. I didn't think there was any coming back from what I'd done, and I definitely didn't want to be the leader of the Horde.” She let her voice trail off. “It was never what I wanted.”
“You always wanted to be free.” Adora murmured, “The Horde told us that the only freedom was in power.” She looked back at Catra with a soft, encouraging smile. “We aren't bound to the Horde anymore.” she said, “We're free.”
“Yeah. We're free.” Burying her face in Adora's loose hair, she realized she had everything she'd ever wanted.