Work Text:
Lassie barged into the apartment, swinging the door closed with a bang. He’d been working all day and night, getting home well past 11pm so he expected cranky Lassie. There hadn’t been anything on the police radio involving him so it had to be a long day of paperwork and evidence.
Shawn looked up from the magazine he was thumbing through, half listening to a rerun of Saved by the Bell. He didn’t get a chance to say a sarcastic, ‘welcome home dear’, like he usually did. Before he could say the first word, Lassie was in his face.
“You asshole, what the fuck do you think you were doing? I’m not an idiot, did you think I wouldn’t find out. I’m a detective for a reason, I’m not some clueless wonder that you can fuck around on. I’m not gonna take it.”
“What are you talking about?” Setting the magazine down beside him, Shawn unfolded his legs and sat on the edge of the cushion. Lassie was standing above him, looking down at him, close enough that Shawn could smell his cologne and coffee on his breath.
“You fucking know what I’m talking about. You’re not omniscient but you’re smarter than that.”
“You haven’t told me anything so I have no idea what you’re yelling about. Why don’t you tell me, and how about using some fuckin ‘I’ statements instead of all these fucking accusations.” Shawn tried to keep his tone in check, trying not to get carried away.
“You’re not my fucking therapist so don’t talk to me like it.”
“Do you have a therapist?” He hadn’t noticed anything about a therapist.
Lassie laughed scornfully in his face. “Wouldn't you’d like to know.”
“Like you said, ‘I’m not fucking omniscient’. How about you tell me what you’re hopped up about and clue me in!”
“How about you’re a fucking asshole?”
“Oh, really?”
“You run your mouth day in and day out, saying a whole lot of nothing, and I’m not listening to it. Not now. I’m being serious and I’m fucking pissed.”
The whole ordeal made Shawn feel like a scolded child, like he hadn’t done a chore or dug a pit in the backyard. He was being yelled at by his not-boyfriend, because ‘boyfriend’ sounded wrong and weird. They were both two grown men, not teenage sweethearts going on movie dates and barely rounding second base.
“I didn’t know this was a serious conversation. You just walked in and started yelling at me.” He fired back.
“I saw you. I fucking saw you at the bar tonight.”
“And? What does that have to do with anything?”
“I saw you chatting up that guy at the bar. Rubbing your hand on his arm, laughing at his jokes, looking up at him with that flirty look in your eyes. You fucking took a sip of his beer.”
Lassie was angrier than Shawn had ever seen him. Angrier than the first case he’d crashed. Angrier than when his upside carjacker collar walked on a technicality in evidence. Angrier than the time Shawn had experimented with making grilled cheese in his toaster and accidentally set his kitchen a little bit on fire.
If he was a cartoon character he’d have steam coming out of his ears.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I saw you with my own eyes. I watched you flirt with that guy for ten minutes. I watched my boyfriend, who I asked to fucking move in a month ago, eye fuck a guy in a bar.”
“Eye fuck?”
“I told you that if we moved in together, that we were serious. I trusted you, which is a lot of work by the way, and then-”
“That was uncalled for.” Shawn stood up from the couch, getting right up in Lassie’s adorable fuming face. “If you’d let me get a fucking word in, I could tell you what you really saw!”
“I know what I saw.” Lassie dead eyed him.
“No, you fucking don’t. If you’re not gonna let me talk I’m done listening. I’m not going to sit here and let you insult me. This is a discussion not a grandstand. If you’re just gonna bitch and run your mouth, then I’m leaving.”
Lassie gritted his teeth and glowered down at him, noses inches away from one another. If Shawn wasn’t so hot under the collar, he’d snog him until his lips were bitten and bruised. Anger sex with them was almost worth the fights, but in that moment he felt more hurt than anything.
Anyone else, he’d have been out the door the second he started yelling at him. But the little footnote of information he knew about conflict resolution and his love for the thorny irish rose of a man in front of him kept him there.
When Lassie didn’t say anything, Shawn took that as a sign it was his turn.
“What you saw was a case.”
Lassie opened his mouth to cut in but the look Shawn gave him, as scolding as he could make it had him pinned. There was a huff and a roll of the eyes, but he shut his mouth with a click.
“You can get pissed at me for working on the burglary case without department permission, but I was just doing my job. That guy was at the same two bars that the victims frequent on the same nights. I knew he’d be there, showed up, did some shitty flirting, and gave him a google phone number that Gus made that tracks to an empty apartment. We’re gonna stake out the place and call you guys when he shows up. He preys on meet ups in bars. Fawns all over them and then never calls, waits till they move on and breaks into their places when they’re out on the town. We thought if he was focused on me then we could keep him from breaking into anyone else's place.”
The coiled cobra look he was giving off started to chill. The canyons of wrinkles in his brow leveled out. Lassie took him in, watching with reluctance and a healthy dose of shame.
“I get that I don't tell the whole truth sometimes but I’ve always been honest about us. You can have trouble trusting me but don’t say I’m the fucking reason. I came clean about the psychic thing. Both of us tell white lies so I’m not going to apologize or feel guilty for those, but I haven’t lied to you about anything that matters. If you can’t trust me, it’s because you have trust issues. Telling me that I’m work is a shitty thing to say and I’m not going to let you talk to me like that. I’ve got issues too but I don’t blame them on you or make you feel guilty about them so don’t do that to me.” Shawn sizzled out, breathing deep and breaking eye contact. His skin was crawling. Serious was not a good feeling, sitting like a stone in his stomach. “And if you’re gonna call me an asshole, it better be sarcastically.”
Looking at his socks for a moment, he collected himself, all the little bits of pieces that he put out there. When he glanced up, the look in Lassie’s eyes made the stone turn over. The wheels were turning but nothing came out. He just looked at him with those painfully sad eyes, a grimace, and slumpy shoulders.
Closing the distance between them, Shawn wrapped his arms around his partner. Lassie held him tight, arms tight around his waist, face buried in his neck.
“I’m sorry.” Lassie muttered quietly. “I… I shouldn’t have been… I was hurting and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”
“I know.” Shawn rubbed his back. “But it’s still nice to hear.”
Lassie kissed him on the little dip between his neck and his shoulder, knowing what that did to him.
“I think I felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. There’s always something that happens when things get good. But then we kept dating, and you moved in, and better it got the worse I thought it was gonna be. I guess the longer it went and nothing happened, the more I expected it.” He felt him shrug through their hug. “I thought this was it.”
Shawn leaned back from their embrace so he could hold Lassie’s puppy dog face in his hands, and feel his five o’clock shadow beneath his palms. “I’ve been waiting for something we do to be too much and send me running for the hills. I get it. But the more we do, the more excited I am to keep doing stuff with you. I’m in this. I’m not going to try and sabotage this, especially not by cheating on you. If I wanted to end this, I’d tell you. Or I’d move my pinball machine in and play it at 2 in the morning.” Joking felt more like them.
“I’d kick you out before you got it through the door.”
“I’d expect nothing less.” Shawn grinned. “If the shoe’s gonna fly then it’s gonna happen to both of us.”
“It’s drop.” Lassie huffed.
“I’ve heard it both ways.” Shawn whispered, leaning in for a kiss. They stood there, Lassie still in his suit and tie, Shawn in his boxers and pineapple socks, canoodling. When they both needed a breath, they pulled back resting their foreheads together.
“How can I make it up to you?” Lassie murmured, eyes closed. Shawn gazed at him for a moment, heart feeling too small and too big all at the same time.
“I’ve heard make-up sex is even better than angry sex.”