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At first, Julie didn't really know what drew her out to her backyard in the middle of the night, but as she tried to fall asleep, something was tugging at her core to get up and go. An overwhelming sense of despair she couldn't help but follow.
So, she let her feet carry her through the backdoor, closing it as quietly as she possibly could behind her, and made her way to the garage.
She wasn't wearing her glasses, but the silhouette seated on the pavement, propped up against the garage door, legs outstretched, was the first thing that caught her attention as she walked through the gate. The guitar laying across its lap told her it could only be one person.
Well, one ghost.
Luke.
It had been his presence drawing her out into the cold autumn air, of course. Why wouldn't it have been? From the second they met, neither of them had ever been able to stay away.
Not that she had ever wanted to.
It never mattered how much she should have.
The sound of her footsteps approaching caused him to snap his head upwards in her direction. Her stomach sank when he took her in with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. His tone was flat when he spoke, "Oh, hey, Jules."
Something was wrong.
He wasn't one to be pushed into expressing himself, but she also knew if she stayed by his side, he would eventually tell her.
They had developed a habit of baring their souls to each other.
"Hey," she smiled back, settling down next to him, brushing her shoulder against his.
The slight motion was routine for them, a test of whether they could touch at the time. For whatever reason, it wasn't available to them more often than not. So, they found subtle ways of checking. The brush of a shoulder as they passed each other, a hand while they sat at the piano, or a leg sitting on the couch writing songs. Most times, she would phase right through him.
She hated that the most.
So, when their shoulders did brush, actually touched one another, her entire chest filled with warmth. She caught the hint of a smirk on his face.
"What are you doing out here by yourself?"
Luke rolled his eyes, "The guys are sleeping. I didn't want to annoy them with my strumming."
She furrowed her eyebrows, "You never told me you can do that."
"It's not really sleeping. We just call it that," he corrected as he scrunched his face in search of an explanation. "You know when you're about to fall asleep, but you're not, like, out yet?"
She nodded.
"It's kind of like that," he set his guitar aside, resting his hands in his lap with a shrug. "Reg and Alex are really good at it."
"And you're not?"
Luke smiled but let out a light scoff, "Nah, but that's alright. We don't need it."
"So, this is what you do when they're doing...that?"
"Yeah, mostly. What're you doing out here, though? Not that I'm not happy to see you, I am, but it's gotta be after midnight by now."
"It was 1:15 when I came down here, for your information," she smiled before letting out a sigh, "I couldn't sleep."
"I kind of figured, but why come out here? At least it's warm in your house."
"Do ghosts get cold?"
"No," Luke chuckled, "but I grew up here. I know it gets a little colder at night this time of year."
"I'm fine." She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, "Would you believe me if I said that, I don't know, that I felt you were out here?"
He gave her a crooked grin, "Totally, but you better tone down those superpowers before Professor X picks you up on Cerebro. I won't let him take you from us before we book a world tour."
"I am so not a mutant."
"I don't know, Jules. First, you save us from double death, and now you can sense me?" Luke tilted his head from side to side, "You might be a mutant."
"I am not, but you? I didn't know you were such a nerd."
Luke playfully nudged her shoulder with his, "Don't act like you didn't know exactly what I was talking about."
"Everybody already knows that I'm a dweeb, but if the world hears that cute, Swedish guitarist from Julie and The Phantoms is one? What will that do to your reputation?"
"I don't know, but as long as you still like me, I don't really care."
There it was.
Another one of those not-so-subtle admissions that one of them would let slip whenever they were alone. The small phrases conveyed just how much they cared about one another without explicitly saying the words.
She may have called the words dangerous if each sentence didn't cause her heart to beat a little faster, her head to feel a little lighter.
He liked her, and she liked him right back.
Maybe it was even more potent than that if she could ever admit it.
Except she didn't know if she ever would let herself get there. As far as they knew, he was temporary, which meant they were temporary. They could tell each other how they felt, actually say those words, and make it real, only to turn around and say goodbye.
The pain that would cause both of them would be unimaginable.
She pushed the thought from her head. Mourning what could be only distracted from the time they had, she couldn't afford to miss a thing.
Silence eclipsed them as she nestled closer to him to rest her head on his shoulder, looping her arm through his. He didn't provide her with any heat, but he was there. That alone was enough to keep her warm.
She was first to break the stillness, "What are you thinking about?"
Luke let out a sigh, finding her hand and interlocking their fingers, "How I like when we can do this."
"Me too."
He grew quiet once more as he brought his head to rest on top of hers. Whatever weight was bearing down on his soul was rolling off his aura in waves.
She had felt his sadness before, but not like this.
His voice was a low whisper when he finally spoke, "Julie?"
"Hm?"
Luke hesitated for a moment, "Do you ever wish things were, I don't know, different?"
She wished for a lot of things. Some were more attainable, like a better grade in math, for starters.
Others were more far-fetched.
She wished for her mom to be back where she belonged and for her boys to get the chance to live out the lives they didn't experience their first time around.
She wished things were easier for her and Luke, that they could let the world know that she was his and he was hers, even if they had to fight life and death to do it.
She nodded against his shoulder, "Is that what's bothering you?"
"I-I'm not. Nothing is…" Luke trailed off, "How did you know that?"
"Luke," Julie chuckled lightly, "you have the worst poker face of anyone I've ever met, including Reggie."
"Alright, fine." He huffed, pulling his head back to look at her, "It's just - look, I love what we're doing with our music now, but things have changed for me. You've changed things for me, Jules. Like my priorities and all that. Then I get all this stupid time alone, and I just think about the things we could have been if me and you met sometime else, you know? I-I'm not great with this stuff."
"You don't have to be; I get it." She gave his hand a gentle squeeze, a small smile on her face, "Maybe we have met. Maybe somewhere else, another world."
It wasn't the first time the thought had crossed her mind, bringing her whatever peace it could provide. She offered it to Luke, hoping it would bring him that same feeling.
There was something celestial about the idea that they would find each other in every version of their lives. That, one day, they'd be dealt another hand—one more in their favor.
No matter where they were, one way or another, they would always meet.
She was sure of it.
"What do you mean? Like, other timelines?"
Julie shrugged, "Yup. For all we know, we could be all old and gray somewhere, sitting on a porch in rocking chairs."
"Rocking chairs, huh?" Luke smirked, "Do we have a dog?"
"Oh, we totally have a dog. A Golden Retriever?"
"Nah, definitely one of those Shiba things."
She grinned back at him, "I love those, too."
His smile brightened his eyes just the way she had grown to love, "Sweet, I always wanted a dog."
"It's settled, then."
"This is all just so crazy, you know?" Luke shook his head, "I don't even have a heart in my chest, and you make me feel so much. I can't even imagine what I would do if I had one."
"I don't think it would be much different. Our souls would still be the same." Julie set her eyes on his, "I worry, too, Luke. I don't know how our story is going to end, and that scares me, but it doesn't change anything. We have each other now; that's what matters."
Luke's eyes shined with humor, "That was really good. You should write songs or something."
She rolled her eyes, digging her elbow lightly into his side, "Shut up, I was trying to be nice."
"I know," he laughed to himself, "I get down about it sometimes, but I feel the same way, Julie. At the end of the day, I'd rather be together like this than not at all. I'm so glad that I met you, even if I had to, you know, die to do it."
"That was really good," Julie mocked his tone, "you should write songs or something."
"Well played," Luke chuckled before growing more serious, "I'm still holding out for our happy ending in this life, though."
"Good because I am, too."
Luke brushed his thumb across the back of her hand, "Thank you for this."
"You don't have to thank me," she rested her head back on his shoulder.
"Well, you did say we could have a dog, so…"
"Right, of course. In that case, you're welcome," she laughed, "I can't wait."
"Me neither, Jules. Me neither.”