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“Dorothea.”
“Yes?”
“I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but you do know you’ve stayed on the same page of that book for the whole evening, right?”
She sighed. “Yes, Lin. I know.”
He cleared his throat.
“Just wanted to make sure of it.”
Silence covered them through three heartbeats of Dorothea’s heart.
“That was meant to make you pass the page, Dorothea.”
“Maybe I happen to have quite the interest in this part of the book, Lin.”
“On…” he leaned over his shoulder to read above hers. She could almost feel the frown of his eyebrows, “how to deliver a strong hit with a lance?”
Dorothea gulped down, closing the book to turn around. Linhardt marked distance with her, and in the spark of his eyes Dorothea could see she was doomed. Still, she couldn’t give up her defenses so easily, right? So she leaned to rest her head on of her hands, and stared back at him the answer dancing on her lips.
“It might save me in a battle, knowing how… daring our professor is.”
“As daring our teacher is,” he repeated, shaking his head. His voice, full of sarcasm, almost angered Dorothea, but the spark of his eyes had something similar to kindness, “they wouldn’t put you, a mage and healer, at the frontlines. Not alone, at least.”
“And who would protect me there, hm?”
Linhardt arched his eyebrows, and Dorothea realized she had made a mistake.
“I mean, it’s not like the two of you really try to stay apart on the battlefield.”
“I just go with Edie to protect her from behind, Lin.”
“I did not mention the princess’s name, Dorothea.”
Oh, of course you didn’t, she thought, holding his gaze for no reason at all, for he already knew everything (and it almost seemed like he knew better than her). Dorothea frowned trying to get another reaction from him (or to get him to leave her alone, but she knew that was hoping for too much), but when Linhardt didn’t move, Dorothea knew it was up to her. So she sighed, once more.
“Too obvious?”
“Everyone knows, Dorothea.”
“Weird. Hubie keeps talking to me.”
“Oh, he’s happy…, I guess.” Linhardt arched his shoulders. “You would know if he wasn’t.”
She thought about it for a second. “Hm, yeah. I would probably have it perfectly clear.”
He cracked a smile, and it somehow helped Dorothea to breath easily again.
Dorothea had always prided herself of being good at hiding her secrets, at having nobles dancing right into her hands and obeying her words, hoping for something akin to a reward from the star singer of Mittelfranken Opera. Some dared to ask for a night, others for a song. Some, even, asked for her love. And ones gained and the others lost, but Dorothea always kept her pulse and heartbeat under her command, because she was no noble. No one cared enough for her heart to protect it, so it was up to her.
But that all changed once she joined the black eagles, in something that almost had Dorothea to be thankful to the goddess that never answered her prayers, because there, in Garreg Mach Monastery, nobles seemed to have common decency, and family and friends meant something. She had never dreamed to be in a class with inheritors of the seven families that governed Adestria, even less with Edelgard von Hresvelg of all people, but there she was.
Yes, there she was. Stupidly in love with the adestrian princess, the most unreachable person in the whole Fodlan. How dared she? She could have anything. Gold, the hearts of women and men alike, a bright future and a hope that sometimes enlightened her eyes under her mask of neutrality. Why would she want Dorothea’s heart, too? Why had her smile stolen so easily Dorothea’s thoughts, and how could a touch of her fingers, covered in gloves, send a quiver through her back and an arrow through her heart?
She blinked, and looked at her side: Linhardt was smiling.
I hate him so much sometimes.
“Don’t give me that look.”
He chuckled. “Dorothea, you are hopeless.”
“What? I didn’t say anything!”
“You don’t have to.” He clicked his tongue in a movement that almost had sympathy towards her. “What you see on that bossy princess, no idea, but… it’s obvious, Dorothea.”
She should say something, to at least try t defend herself, but the knowledge that it was useless held back her tongue, allowing only a groan to escape through her lips. Pretending to ignore Linhardt’s spark on his knowing eyes, she looked around, careful: close to their reading table there was no one, and deep in the library Dorothea could only see Lysithea, explaining something to Annette with a frown on her lips and a blush on her cheeks as she held the other girl’s hand.
They were fooling no one (although Dorothea wondered if they were even trying to), and something deep within her mind answered and who do are you fooling?
“I was thinking,” Dorothea said, before she even realized that she was going to talk.
“Hm? About what?” he answered between a yawn, leaning back on his chair judging by the sound of it.
“How…?” Was she really going to ask Linhardt about this? “How do you think I… can make her smile?” A beat. “I like her smile.”
At the silence, she looked back at him. And the look on his eyes was surprised, and in the grimace on his lips Dorothea could almost read the truth that wanted to escape from his lips, but whatever he was thinking about was gone when he closed his mouth, thinking of a proper answer. His blue eyes examined her almost searching for a joke.
“Why are you asking me, may I know?”
“You’re with Caspar.” It was her turn to arch her eyebrows. By the way his gaze sharpened, Dorothea realized she had landed a blow. “How?”
“… Good question…” he yawned, again. “Don’t know. You really want me to answer?” She nodded, both curious and surprised that he had agreed so… fast. It wasn’t of him to keep his secret, more that he didn’t consider them as such. So to know more about him sounded like a good plan. “Friends since childhood, I guess. Natural. By the time we reached Garreg Mach there was no way we could hide it.”
“Oh, I agree.” Dorothea smiled. “You two were quite the lovebirds!”
“Thanks?” He arched his eyebrows, leaning to rest his head on his head above his arms in the table. He wanted to sleep, Dorothea could catch the hint. “But before that, guess we just looked for things each other liked, you know. Like those fables on Ingrid’s books or something where a couple tries to learn from one another.”
“Hm, you think Ingrid might lend me a book?”
“Not before getting excited and explaining to you the whole chronology.”
Dorothea laughed, and with that, she rose from the table. Linhardt sighed, closing his eyes before accommodating on the table. However, he was still tense as she took the book she definitely did not read to leave it back where it used to be.
“Oh, and Thea?”
“Yeah?”
He looked at her, and smiled. “Good luck. Be ready for Ferdinand to be your dame of honor.”
“Ah?” She stared at him, and when the realization settled in, the blush on her cheeks burned her skin at the unexpected joke. “Hey, not fair, Lin!” She laughed, and then, in nothing more than a whisper: “Hubert would probably want that spot, though.”
Linhardt laughed against his arms before hiding his face on them, putting an end to their conversation in a soft note as she walked away. Dorothea couldn’t stop her mind as she moved forward, with the path in front of her covered in white and snow instead of rooms and soldiers, and with Edelgard von Hresvelg waiting for her in an altar with a smile on her lips and a promise on her soft eyes.
Dorothea Arnault had never been a believer nor a dreamer, but ever since she arrived at Garreg Mach, and the faith and hope of the black eagles had started spreading towards her, she had been wondering if maybe, just maybe, the goddess looked down at her and gave her the chance to believe in a brighter future. Whether that was true or not, Dorothea realized that, now, the path in front of her looked happier than ever.
“How are you doing, Dorothea?” She smiled at the familiar voice.
“Hello, Caspar,” she answered, looking up from her book of spells… and immediately noticing the spark of emotion on his eyes. Something was up. “I’m doing good, thanks. What about you? I thought you said you were going to be with Lin at this hour.”
“I was, but it’s Wednesday! Half-week! I have to keep training, y’know? That’s why I’m here.”
That was a lie, if the spark on his eyes and how he avoided her gaze meant something. She was about to comment on it before a loud slam resounded through the training grounds.
Dorothea looked up: Edelgard had managed to take down Lorenz, with his wooden lance on the floor and her axe against his neck. He blushed, starting to deliver a long monologue about how it was just a miscalculation of his as Edelgard reached for his hand to help him rise up again.
There was a smile on her lips, so soft. And the view made Dorothea’s heart press a little stronger against her chest.
“Damn, it’s worse than what Lin said…”
… what?
Slowly, Dorothea turned around to look at Caspar. He looked terribly guilty: his hands covered his mouth as if knowing he had made a mistake, and now a soft blush painted his checks. He had never been good at hiding things…
“What did Linhardt say, dear?”
… so Dorothea just had to put a little pressure on him.
“N-nothing!”
“Oh, really? Nothing about, maybe, me?”
“Yeah, uh, nothing! No Dorothea Arnault!”
“Huh, good. Nothing at all.”
“Yeah, yeah! Nothing.”
She hummed, softly, and looked straight back to the training grounds. One…, two…, three-
“Okay fine, yeah! We talked about you!”
The laugh escaped through her lips before she could hold it back.
“And may I know about what?” She looked again at Caspar, leaving the book she was reading in the ground. Dorothea had the feeling she wasn’t going to read it anytime soon. “I hope good things about me.”
“Y-yeah! Lin wanted help.”
“Regarding what?”
“He said, uh,” Caspar had the decency to lower the tone of his voice, leaning only so Dorothea could listen to him, “that you need help with your Edelgard thing. And that we should help you.”
Breath got caught up on Dorothea's throat. At first she thought it was a joke, but his gaze was sincere, and in his voice she caught an honest intention to help. Lin and him wanted to help… her?
A warm feeling surrounded her heart in what almost felt like a hug.
“He… said that?”
“Yeah, he did.” Caspar smiled. “He also said that you were hopeless, but I don’t think you want to hear that.”
“You’ve just told me.”
“… Oh, yeah. Sorry.”
She laughed again, and this time he joined. And not for the first, she was grateful that her path and the black eagles’s had met.
"As long as only you and Lin know," Dorothea commented, then, her gaze once more on Edelgard as she prepared to fight against Balthus, "I guess there's nothing to be worried about."
… Silence.
You’re kidding me, right?
“… Caspar.”
“Y-yeah?!”
“… Who else knows?”
He laughed, and he sounded so nervous that she almost had pity on him. Almost. Dorothea didn't look at him, because she had the feeling that he was going to pass away if she did.
“Caspar.”
“N-not fair!”
“I’m not mad, Cas.”
“Then don’t...! Do not..! Not fair, Thea!”
“But I’m literally doing nothing!” Her voice cracked on a laugh. She wanted to look at him so badly, but it was bound to be a bad idea, for both of them. “Caspar, just tell me who knows. I promise I will not get mad at you.”
“Well…,” he hesitated for a second. “Linhardt told me, and then I told Bernie who told Petra, and then she went and told Ferdinand that you like our leader.” A second. “There, I feel terrible now!”
His words slowly took shape on her mind.
“Alright, so, everyone in the black eagles… know?!” She shot a glance at him, making him jump in his place. “All of our house?!”
“Well, being honest, I believe that Lysithea suspects about it too…, oh! And in that case, Annette might kno- Thea, stop looking at me like that!”
A groan escaped through her lips before she could hold it back. This was… worse than expected. What to do now?
“Well, as long as she doesn’t know…”
“Actually, now that you know the things that we know…,” Caspar smiled, his nervousness gone. “I came here because we have an eagle’s gaze. Bernie’s room.”
“Eagle’s gaze? Why?”
He laughed, loud and happy. “Because we’ve got a date to organize!”
The blush of Dorothea’s cheeks came so unexpectedly that her cheeks burned, and her heart accelerated against her body, as if she were the victim of a rally spell.
“We are doing what?!”
“What are you both talking about?”
Oh no.
Dorothea lifted her gaze to look at Edelgard, staring at both of them as her axe rested against her shoulder, a chain of sweat running through her forehead. A proud smile lifted her lips, and a spark of pride illuminated her amethyst gaze making her eyes look brighter.
Her throat went dry, and suddenly forming words was hard and something that she couldn't do. The only thing Dorothea could do was stare at Edelgard von Hresvelg, and realize that she was, indeed, hopeless.
Caspar murmured something that she couldn't decipher, and suddenly she was no longer in front of Edelgard and now she was going towards their rooms, with Caspar pulling her from her wrist to save her.
Edelgard stared at them until they were out of the training grounds, and Dorothea found herself unable to look away until then.
Eagle’s gaze was their house secret code for an emergency meeting to discuss a situation. Any of them could call one, and the circumstances always involved to help each other: there had been one when Bernie's father went to visit in a surprise, then when some students had started nasty rumors against Hubert, and so the list went on.
Dorothea had never been the reason to call a meeting, and this was also the first time in which not everyone was present, but in that moment, she was glad that Edelgard and Hubert hadn't been told about the reunion.
“There’s something that I still don’t understand, everyone,” the princess of Brigid said, sitting alongside her girlfriend at the floor of Dorothea’s bed.
“What is it, Petra?” Bernadetta asked back.
“What does it mean to be head-over-heels for someone?” Petra looked at Dorothea with an innocent spark in her eyes. “She seems fine to me.”
“She’s in love with Edelgard, Petra.”
“… Oh!”
Dorothea sighed. “So, what do we have so far?”
“Well, you want to go on a date with your Edie, and we’re here to help you.” Linhardt looked straight at her, unaltered. She held back a harsh answer. “Honestly, it’s worth mentioning that it has taken you quite long enough.”
“We’ve considered cooking something for her, making or buying jewelry for her, planting flowers to give her and drawing her.” Bernadetta continued, giving a look at the list on her hands. Petra leaned towards her to read too. “But most of them have more cons than pros on the list, unless any of you have thought about something else.”
“Maybe we could organize a date in Embarr! In the opera or something.”
“No, professor Manuela said that we shouldn’t leave the monastery so far away, neither for so long.”
“Alright, so we need a plan for only one day…”
Dorothea zoned out of the conversation to look around: she was on her bed, with Petra and Bernie alongside her, Caspar standing by Linhardt’s side, and Lin sat on the chair of her room resting his arms and face on the back of it. Ferdinand stayed at the door at Dorothea’s room, as a guardian to make sure that no one came to hear their conversation.
And they were all there. For her. A princess of another region, the son of the prime minister of the empire, and the list could go on. Children of the nobles of their empire, future shapers of Adestria’s future. All of them united under the black eagles’s flag, and in these circumstances, for her. For Dorothea Arnault. A girl with no royal birth, with nothing to offer to people like them, having the chance to be their friend.
“Why are you all here?”
It took all the black eagles to look at her for Dorothea to realize that she had spoken out loud.
“What do you mean, Thea?” Caspar asked, tilting a little his head like a confused puppy. “I mean, not all, we’re missing Edel and Hubert, but you know why.”
“I… don’t mean that,” she said, not sure if she wanted to hold back her inner thoughts.
“Thea?” Bernadetta called, turning around to reach for her hand. “You okay? You look like you want to cry.”
“There’s indeed sadness in your eyes.” Petra turned around too, staring right into Dorothea’s eyes with her own spark of worriedness on her gaze. “Is everything alright, Thea?”
She took air, because otherwise she feared her voice would crack.
“Why are you doing this? For me?”
An alarm shot through Petra’s and Bernie’s face, and all of sudden they were both by her side, each of them taking one of Dorothea’s hands. A movement, and then another, and in the blink of an eye all the eagles (Ferdinand included, which proved her point of him being a terrible guard on their meetings) were surrounding her.
“Why wouldn’t we?” Linhardt asked, on his tone of “as a matter of fact”, staring at her with a confused frown. “You are our friend.”
“Yeah! We’re your friends, Thea! We love you and you love us,” Caspar supported, smiling at her with that characteristic energy of his. “It’s as simple as that, no second thoughts! Remember what we always say? Once an eagle…”
“Always an eagle!” Bernadetta finished, laughing childly. Dorothea stared at her, thinking about the girl she used to be when they had just gotten together in a house, and the influence everyone had on her was undoubtedly good.
… Did the same apply to her?
“Doesn’t it bother you all?” she asked, at everyone, at herself. “I’m not a noble, am I?”
“Again with the noble thing? Linhardt arched his eyebrows, but on his eyes there was no annoyance. “Haven’t I told you before? What’s pride for us? Not more than what you mean, be sure of it.”
“But- I-“
“Put your trust in us, Dorothea,” Petra said, smiling, as she gave a squeeze to the hand she held. Her gaze was full of care. “You are as worthy as any of us in this room. We have the hope that you are happy, and we will do all we can to achieve that. We are here for you.”
Dorothea stared at her, in awe, forgetting that she was supposed to breath.
And when she did, her breathing came out as a sob.
Petra frowned and looked at Bernadetta.
“Did I say something wrong?”
“No, of course not!” Bernie answered, an alarm shooting through her face when she turned to smile at Petra. Then, she looked at Dorothea, and her smile grew softer. “Petra is right though! You’re part of this family, too.”
Holding back another sob, Dorothea nodded. And when Ferdinand reached at her to give her a scarf to clean her eyes from the tears, smiling as the kind dumbass he was, she accepted it, feeling like there was a light coming from the smile of the black eagles surrounding her that was nothing short of whatever the goddess looked like.
“Thanks, Ferdie.”
“Whenever you need, Thea!”
“We’re helping you with Hubert when the time comes,” Thea said, them, winking.
“When the time comes for what, Dorothea?” said, then, another voice.
Hubert’s voice.
You have to be kidding me.
Dorothea leaned to look above Ferdinand’s shoulder, who had gone pale as his scarf when the new voice had joined, and stared at their intruder: Hubert, staring right at Ferdinand with something not far from “sinister” darkening his clear eyes, waited for an answer… with someone by their side.
The singer wondered if the goddess was mad at her for something when she crossed looks with Edelgard von Hresvelg.
“Has… something happened?” Edelgard asked, when she realized that the members of her house looked like children being caught during a mischief. She frowned, holding Dorothea’s gaze, as she tried to make her heart beat again. “Are you alright? There are tears in your eyes.”
Which are, may I say, your fault, Dorothea thought, but her tongue didn’t answer and she kind of thanked that.
“Thea,” Bernie whispered, leaning so (maybe) only Dorothea could hear as she spoke straight into her ear. “Let’s say it was my dad again, yeah? Don’t worry-”
“No, Bernie.” Dorothea smiled, again, with her heart pounding against her chest she worried it was going to break through her skin, but lifted a hand to drive Bernie away. “Thank you…, but I want to do this.”
She moved out of the bed, passing alongside Ferdinand with a blush burning her cheeks as she dumped her shoulder against the noble’s chest, both to make him react and to try to give him unspoken support. If it worked out, she didn’t know, but soon she was standing right in front of Edelgard.
“Can we talk?”
Hubert’s gaze started burning on her in just one second, but Thea focused her all on holding Edelgard’s gaze: still frowning, probably suspecting something amiss, but still, she nodded.
“Of course, Thea.” She smiled, maybe trying to calm her down, but the smile sent another shiver through Dorothea’s back as quick as lightning. Edelgard looked at Hubert. “Stay here…, and do not be too harsh on them, would you?”
“For what do you take me, my lady?” Dorothea could literally feel the smile on his voice.
But Edelgard nodded, and turned away to walk down the hall, probably looking to give them space. Dorothea looked over her shoulders to stare at the gang, seeing them quickly stand together and try to organize her thoughts to answer Hubert, and the motion made her smile. Crossing looks with Linhardt, he gave her a thumbs up, and the movement was so awkward from him that she felt only natural to answer with a wink, seeing a smile on his lips.
Satisfied with that, Dorothea turned and followed Edelgard through the hall.
“Is everything alright?” Edelgard asked in the moment Dorothea closed the door behind her, before entering the leader’s door. “You’re quite pale.”
“Not as much as Ferdie, I hope.”
Edelgard held back a laugh against her glove, and the motion made Dorothea smile.
She was trembling: Milterfrank Opera had taught her how to keep her emotions in check, but here, alone with Edelgard after she asked her to talk, she felt like her heart wanted to be anywhere but there, and her thoughts were a clouded mess that could form no coherent phrase. This was a problem.
Edelgard didn’t pressure her, though: she stared, calm and patient, almost as if expecting Dorothea to tell her something she already knew, something to which she already had an answer. There was a spark on her amethyst eyes that expected her to make a move of some kind, and she couldn’t exactly perceive why.
“You look like you want to ask me something.”
“Says the one who asked to talk with me.” Edelgard smiled, but on her eyes there was no annoyance. “If you allow me, Dorothea, you’ve been acting weird today… and I’ve realized it has something to do with me.” An ink of concern darkened her gaze and erased her smile. “Have I done anything wrong to you?”
Dorothea’s heart skipped a beat. Because, just like with the eagles, this was Edelgard von Hresvelg worrying about her, and not only that, it was the woman with her heart who was asking. And she couldn’t understand why, why she had it, why Edelgard, who could have anything she wanted just by asking, had went and taken her heart as if it were nothing and- and cared about it-
Was this how love was meant to feel? To love, and to be loved back? This warm something in her heart that took the shape of Edelgard’s smile, and slowly took over everything whenever this woman cared for her?
“Thea?”
Caspar’s voice resonated in her mind. No second thoughts!
One loves, and the other loves back. As simple as that.
Dorothea raised her hands to hold Edelgard’s face, to be an inch closer to her, and kissed her.
Quick and cast, it felt as if Lysithea had used a spell straight into her chest because by Sothis, it felt good: warm, and fulfilling and yet gentle. A fire that burned at the rhythm of their lips together as Edelgard sighed straight into her mouth, probably caught by surprise, but the sheer emotion that the movement had sent a wave of warmth through Dorothea that almost threatened to take her down.
She leaned back, and stared right at her amethyst eyes.
“I like you,” she said, honest to a fault. “I want to have a date with you.”
Edelgard was blushing, and surprised, and Dorothea wanted to laugh because she was sure that she was one of the few who could see this face of hers. This lovely, pretty, beautiful face of hers, from this close, with an expression so unusual on someone like her. She did not look mad, and Dorothea almost thanked Sothis because she considered this to be a good sign.
“So that’s why Linhardt asked me that…”
“What do you mean?”
“He asked me what made me smile, and how could someone ask me for a date with me saying yes.” She frowned, and this time Dorothea failed to hold back the smile that pulled her lips. “It was unexpected, considering his relationship with Caspar… but I guess I know why now.”
“Lin isn’t the most discreet in this regard, is he?”
“Do not think so, but he tries. At least.”
Dorothea laughed, and soon Edelgard joined her, and there were hands surrounding her hips to hold her close, and the smile on Edelgard’s lips after their kiss was still there, and Dorothea realized that the future emperor of Adestria was smiling because of her. The pure idea made her almost purr as she hugged Edelgard closer, resting her forehead on hers.
“Is that a yes?”
Edelgard hummed, softly, and Dorothea knew right away that the feeling of having her there was going straight to her better dreams, to her loveliest memories. The feeling that maybe this was real, and that somehow, Edelgard von Hresvelg loved her.
“If you stop yourself from asking Linhardt again…,” Edelgard leaned back to show her a smile. “Yes. I would love to.”
The singer’s heart went so fast she might as well vanish. But she didn’t, and if this was Sothis’s acting or something, for once Dorothea had something to be grateful. A thanks to the goddess instead of a cry.
“Alright.”
She kissed her again, and as Edelgard reciprocated and hugged her with gentle arms, Dorothea’s dream and future started looking warmer, brighter, closer. More real.
And, above all, more hers.