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if we didn't do anything stupid (we wouldn't do anything at all)

Summary:

James
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET?
BLOODY HELL SIRIUS GO WATCH THIS VIDEO
[https://youtu.be/889I8pgkYWtqc]

Sirius
wtf happened jamie

James
REGULUS DECKED TOM FUCKING RIDDLE ON THE JAW AND THREW HIS VISCOUNT RING AT WALBURGA’S FACE AND SCREAMED THAT HE DOESN'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE BLACKS ANYMORE

Sirius
fuck
fuckfuckfcujxjdbxusksksisx
wtf reg omg HE SNAPPED SOMETHING MAJOR
objectively, SO SO PROUD
but boy is he fucked

Notes:

apologies that this is being put up so late, this really should have been the first thing i did. but before you start my fic, try the ones im linking below bcoz they're like infinite times better and also inspired me to write the fic in the first place!
the memerauders chat by hue, reachthetree
New Age Romancing by clarewithnoi


big thanks to the writers of these fics, which btw, are complete masterpieces!! definitely give them a go, i loved reading all of them *so* much!! <33

Chapter 1: one for sorrow

Notes:

the youtube link here doesn't work!!! sorry in advance!!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

____________


(Saturday)


Peter
pads, ur brother's gon viral 

Sirius
james? or...?
what 
why

James
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET?
BLOODY HELL SIRIUS GO WATCH THIS VIDEO [https://youtu.be/889I8pgkYWtqc]

Sirius
wtf happened jamie

James
REGULUS DECKED TOM FUCKING RIDDLE ON THE JAW AND THREW HIS VISCOUNT RING AT WALBURGA’S FACE AND SCREAMED THAT HE DOESN'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE BLACKS ANYMORE 

Sirius
fuck
fuckfuckfcujxjdbxusksksisx
wtf reg omg HE SNAPPED SOMETHING MAJOR
objectively, SO SO PROUD
but boy is he fucked

James
oy sirius im near grimmauld
want me to go get him

Sirius
ya im coming
meet u there in five

James
omw

Peter
why were u near grimmauld james?

James
ha ha funny story
on another completely unrelated note
how do u all feel about adopting another rat?

Peter
er
what do u mean by another??

James
peter, u ate the cheese in the rat trap once
do i need to go on

oh here i see sirius
im gonna go



(20 mins later)



Sirius
peter ur sleeping on the couch tonight 
we've brought in a better stray

Peter 
fuck u all
im staying over at mary's

Sirius
ur gonna fuck us all and mary???
pete u sly dog 

Peter
mary and i aren't fucking
we... cuddle

Sirius
idk how u do it 
but u manage giving us tmi abt just vanilla





____________



(Sunday)



James
mum told me you're at school

Sirius
yup

James
uh
its sunday??

Sirius 
yeah ik im there for the spell bee comp

James
...you're in spell bee?

Sirius
no but the cute guy from my lit class is

James
ooh what's his name

Sirius
u wouldn't know him
he doesn't speak much
barely has any friends
but damn he's hilarious 
he mutters in class all the time
he's an undiscovered marauder, im telling u

James
he's an undiscovered marauder who does... spell bee? 

Sirius
like trelawney says "open ur horizons sweetheart"
smart's the new sexy

James
what's his fucking name

Sirius
lupin
remus lupin
like the wolf
can u believe this guy knows the spelling of  cymotrichous and he didn't even pause once in the middle??
like how cool is that

James
...very cool
listen can u get me my regular from starbucks when u come back

Sirius
sure jim
iced ristretto 10 shot venti 
5 pump vanilla 7 pump caramel
poured, not shaken r?

James
if spell bee boy doesn't work, 
marry me sirius

Sirius
can u spell  malapropism without taking a single breath?
if yes
contact [7917382501] for the caterer 

James
... the fact that u randomly have a caterer's number doesn't even surprise me 





___________

Notes:

just realising how much fun is it to write texting fics