and several bad jokes later
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Listing Series
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act 1 scene 1 - ten teenagers are wandering in the woods, exact whereabouts unknown
[lily evans.exe has stopped working]Series
- Part 1 of and several bad jokes later
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Summary
"Her name is...Hermione," Lucius pronounces the name very carefully, watching Voldemort as if for some reaction. He has none to offer. "She's in my son's year. And she claims to be your daughter."
Crack!AU where Lord Voldemort thinks Hermione Granger is his daughter.
Series
- Part 2 of and several bad jokes later
- Part 2 of all plates are cracked by mr nobody
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in the earth beneath our feet (the dead are immortal) by justprompts
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
02 Mar 2022
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Summary
Black spins around to James, wild-eyed, pointing at him with a shaky finger and says, "You're, you're alive! And, and my hair - they're, they're so soft!!"
Alternatively
Sirius accidentally travels back in time to his eleven year old self, and it turns out that he's not the only one who has.Series
- Part 3 of and several bad jokes later
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fruit loops in time (circle around me) by justprompts
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
17 Jul 2021
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Summary
"This is Crabbe, and Goyle," the blonde boy says, pointing at the two boys next to him. "And I'm Malfoy, Draco Ma - "
Ron laughs, and Malfoy immediately bristles.
"Think my name's funny, do you?" Malfoy says, angrily. "No need to ask yours - "
"You're honestly so cute," Ron interrupts, yet again, shaking his head. "So tiny. And so angry, all the time. It's adorable."
Alternatively
Ron Weasley, Time Traveller Extraordinaire, is stuck in the same seven year Hogwarts Loop, repeating the same thing over and over again. Naturally, he's so done with everything.Series
- Part 4 of and several bad jokes later
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i will always be there (to welcome you home) by justprompts
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 Sep 2020
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Summary
Potter Sr. is sitting on the couch, his wand out, expelling colored bubbles of light, his arms around two kids on either side, wait a second.
Two kids?
Why didn't Voldemort know they have two kids?
Maybe one of them is Black's. His mind wanders on the possibility that this is the Longbottom child, they all run in the same Gryffindor circle, but really, how much does it matter? The boys are giggling, one of them sprouting antlers on his head.
Series
- Part 5 of and several bad jokes later
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my chamber of secrets has a monster in it by justprompts
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
03 Apr 2021
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Summary
"Oh, yes, he's a brillant boy," Mrs. Cole said, beaming, like he was Merlin's gift to the world. "All the little kids just love Tom Riddle! Extraordinary boy, he is. When he was a kid, he used to talk all kinds of nonsense about magic."
"Magic?" Albus asked, a little warily but with plenty of interest, studying the happenings in the room.
In other words,
"HOW TO DRIVE DUMBLEDORE CRAZY IN TEN DAYS" - A Personal Project by Tom M. Riddle.Series
- Part 6 of and several bad jokes later
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Summary
"I TOLD YOU, I'M A TIME TRAVELER - MERLIN, I CAN'T TEACH DIVINATION - "
Tom sighed. Another nutter, then. The door swung open abruptly and the man entered - green eyes blazing, dark hair looking like he just shagged somebody in the wind. Infact, he looked extraordinarily like -
ALTERNATIVELY,
The one where Harry time travels to the good ol' 40's but nobody believes him.Series
- Part 7 of and several bad jokes later
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the dreams in which i'm dying (are the best i've ever had) by justprompts
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
11 Jul 2021
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Summary
"How many fingers am I holding up, son?"
Padfoot hates it when you ask him that, he thought nonsensically.
"Enough to go fuck yourself," he muttered, sitting up slowly.
Alternatively
The one in which Harry Potter is James Potter. Atleast his seventeen year old self.Series
- Part 8 of and several bad jokes later
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i saw you for the first time (but i knew u already) by justprompts
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
25 Jul 2021
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Summary
The footsteps become louder, and Sirius presses himself to the wall, Wormtail twitching on his shoulder, Invisibility Cloak covering them head to toe.
It's not Filch. Or Mcgonagall.
It's James.
Except, of course, it's not.
He's much shorter than James, his face is younger, somehow - and his eyes are a worried green, his face set in a frown as he looks around, biting his lip. He's wearing Gryffindor Robes, but Sirius is sure he's certainly never seen him before.
Series
- Part 9 of and several bad jokes later
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Summary
Maybe James is still dreaming. Or in some sort of parallel universe. Because only that would explain, why Lily Evans had looked at him, looked at him, James Potter, and smiled. And now they're all sitting, Remus, Sirius, Peter and James, around Lily, waiting for Professor Dumbledore and Lily is holding his hand.
Holding his hand.
Hand holding.
In other words
A Lily Evans Time Travel AU.Series
- Part 10 of and several bad jokes later
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what spring does with the cherry trees by justprompts
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
07 Jul 2021
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Summary
Skrrrrrt. James heard the sound of the red-haired girl's key scraping across his (brand-new, precious and beautiful) car, even from all the way across the road.
+ other half-baked jily au's.
Series
- Part 11 of and several bad jokes later
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Summary
"Bloody hell," Ron whistles, low. "Girl Malfoy."
Aquila Malfoy sits on the stool, and McGonagall drops the Hat on her head.
"Gryffindor!" the Hat yells, without even a pause.
or, the one where draco malfoy has a younger sister
Series
- Part 12 of and several bad jokes later
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Summary
"So, Potter got re-sorted, and we all expected Hufflepuff, but here he is," both Malfoy and Parkinson turn in eerie unison to stare at him.
"Harry Potter," Malfoy snorts. "Slytherin."
Series
- Part 13 of and several bad jokes later
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Summary
"Mafloy!" Potter exclaims, beaming and stumbling his way over to Draco, "Maflo-Malfoy! Just who I was looking for!"
"...you were?" Draco asks, feeling too sober for this conversation.
"Aren’t I always!" Potter says, and laughs, like that even makes sense.
In other words
A typical Drarry Eighth Year fic where Harry and Draco have a chat. Harry's just a little drunk. A little bit. Not much, of course.Series
- Part 14 of and several bad jokes later
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a woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life by justprompts
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
09 Oct 2021
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Summary
"Your hair look like Snape's," Remus remarks, idly, before he even realises what he's said.
Sirius looks horrified. Offended. And just a little bit terrified.
Series
- Part 15 of and several bad jokes later
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Summary
"My name is Harry Potter," the boy introduces, sounding rather doubtful himself. "I'm nine years old. I live with my godfather. And his- er. Friend?"
or, au where harry lives with sirius and remus and meets hermione in school
Series
- Part 16 of and several bad jokes later
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Summary
"Hey, V, pass the eggs," Mack said, sitting down and shredding off her leather jacket, sliding her M9 back in her pocket.
Victoria passed her an incredulous look, glancing at the eggs, the bacon, the tray with warm toasts, the huge chicken roast, and then at the small boy sitting cross legged on the sofa between the kitchen and the table, squinting at her through huge glasses like a thin, little grasshopper and looking expectantly hopeful.
The eight year old boy they just kidnapped last night.
Did kidnapped pre-teen boys usually cook food for their kidnappers without being forced?
Series
- Part 17 of and several bad jokes later
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Summary
"Remus!" Lily exclaims.
"Sirius!" Peter shrieks, hastily covering his eyes.
"MY BED!" James screams, pointing at said bed, which currently holds Remus and Sirius, half-naked and shocked, lips red and swollen.
Series
- Part 18 of and several bad jokes later
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13 paper boats floating in the sea (+2 that reached you) by justprompts
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
25 Apr 2021
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Summary
It's like this.
Sirius loves Remus. Remus loves Sirius.
Lily thinks Remus and Sirius should date.
(She also thinks James Potter is quite fit.)Meanwhile, James thinks that Sirius and Lily are snogging behind greenhouse three.
Series
- Part 19 of and several bad jokes later
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if we didn't do anything stupid (we wouldn't do anything at all) by justprompts
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
18 Aug 2021
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Summary
James
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET?
BLOODY HELL SIRIUS GO WATCH THIS VIDEO
[https://youtu.be/889I8pgkYWtqc]Sirius
wtf happened jamieJames
REGULUS DECKED TOM FUCKING RIDDLE ON THE JAW AND THREW HIS VISCOUNT RING AT WALBURGA’S FACE AND SCREAMED THAT HE DOESN'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE BLACKS ANYMORESirius
fuck
fuckfuckfcujxjdbxusksksisx
wtf reg omg HE SNAPPED SOMETHING MAJOR
objectively, SO SO PROUD
but boy is he fuckedSeries
- Part 20 of and several bad jokes later