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Some nights are full of plastic cups and hazy smoke-filled rooms. Some nights are full of Sapnap finally letting Karl hold his hand. Those nights are when their friend Alex throws another party at him and his roommates' shitty house just outside of campus and Sapnap and Karl simply must join in on the chaos.
The night always starts off strong. Alex downing as many poison drinks as he can and Karl soon joining in. But Karl's a lightweight. Really, the man can't take more than a couple beers. He tries though. Partly because Alex makes it look a lot more fun than it actually is (Hence him quite literally bouncing off the walls and conjuring up plans to run barefoot to the gas station down the street to buy popsicles) but mostly because he knows he can let himself go and all his mishaps will be chalked up to the fact that he was drunk.
Karl wouldn't tell anyone his plan. He wouldn't let a living soul know that the only reason why he stays at the parties so long is so that he can get shitfaced drunk and then tell Sapnap everything he keeps a secret every other night.
But he's not really shitfaced. Karl only downs a few drinks that Alex chants at him to chug, then he stops. He wanders around with the same half-full cup in his hand for a while until he finds Sapnap.
Around a year and a half ago they were all still freshmen. Alex moved to the states for college and met Sapnap, a brown-haired Texan with a full ride scholarship and undecided major. Sapnap and Alex became good friends quite quickly and only a few weeks later Karl came crashing in, forming a well balanced trio. Karl would never admit it out loud but liked Sapnap since the day they first met.
At a party quite similar to the many to follow Alex introduced Karl to Sapnap. Through the blaring music Karl could still hear Sapnap's soft voice, he could see his friendly smile and he was instantly whipped. How could he not? Sapnap was a telegram of good news, he floated through the air waiting to find someone and plant deep in their heart. He just so happened to plant in Karl's.
So as parties went on and evening car rides with the three turned into late night excavates Karl sunk deeper and deeper into the lovely crevasse known as Sapnap. He fell every time Sapnap ruffled Karl's hair and said he was proud of him, every time he traveled to Karl's dorm at some ungodly hour of the night just to help him study, every time Sapnap waved at him from across the hall and asked him to sit in the library for a while until their next classes.
Karl has a couple drinks, he can see Sapnap across the room mingling with his other friends. He decides he seems drunk enough and makes his way across the room, tripping over his own feet until he can sling his arms around Sapnap's shoulders. Even though he's only a little drunk, he needs to act more so, Karl needs to act like he isn't in his right mind so that Sapnap doesn't freak out at what Karl says and does.
With the night trekking onwards as though it is its job (which it is, after all) Karl follows Sapnap around as he makes new friends. Sapnap doesn't seem to mind, but that's only because he thinks Karl is so drunk he won't remember anything. He allows Karl to hold his arm and giggle into his ear. Even holds Karl's hand back (which he would never ever do if he knew Karl were sober) and lets his friend kiss the back of his hand. When Karl perches himself on Sapnap's lap he can tell the Texan is letting go. Karl hugs around his neck and sighs into his collarbones. Whispers of 'you're so cute like this' from Sapnap don't go unnoticed by Karl.
They also don't go forgotten. Karl remembers everything the next morning. Especially when he wakes up on Alex's guest bed with Sapnap only a few inches away with his back turned. Snoring softly, body rising and falling with every breath. Although they never go further than that, Sapnap may be just a man but he'd never take advantage of a seemingly drunk person. Especially not Karl, who he has a lot of respect for and wouldn't dare lay an animus finger on. Karl who is as well meaning as gods angels.
When Karl sits in the sparsely populated corridor after class one day he's joined by Alex. After asking why he's in the arts wing (because what would a law major like Alex be doing all the way over there?) they spark a conversation. Alex, who has never had a problem with bluntness, asks Karl if he likes Sapnap. If he like-like's Sapnap. And Karl's not certain how to answer because of course he likes Sapnap, of course he like-likes Sapnap. Sapnap's just so cool because he always holds the door open for people with strollers and calls his mom on the weekends. And that's when Karl realized that maybe he needed to have a conversation with Sapnap.
But conversations are too difficult and pretending to be drunk is a whole lot easier.
So another night rolls around, back at Alex's house and back to pretending to drink a lot more than he actually does. Karl does the usual, follow Sapnap around, cryptically confess his love, then drag Sapnap to the guest room and beg him to stay.
So they lie in the bed they had together so many times before. Karl pulls the covers over their heads so only the two of them exist for a few moments until it's too hard to breathe and they both come back out for air. Sapnap asks how many drinks Karl had, and Karl forgetting he was supposed to say a lot instead says he only had two or three.
Sapnap laughs loudly, showing Karl he doesn't believe him. Karl buries his head in the pillow when Sapnap asks him why he always drinks so much. He's ashamed, and Sapnap's hand resting on Karl's arm playing with the hem of his sleeve doesn't help. So, like a dam bursting after years of being (seemingly) sturdy Karl pulls the blanket down off their heads and as the cool air rushes around their faces Karl leans forward and kisses Sapnap. He kisses him and says he's sober, says he's always been pretty sober and needed a way to get close to Sapnap but didn't know how to do it because he's a pussy and complex feelings scare him.
And at first, Sapnap is scared. At first, he pushes Karl back. But he listens to Karl explain himself and suddenly it all makes sense. He understood why Karl's 'party drunkness' never matched up with how he was when the three purposefully got drunk together. So he kisses Karl back. Gently digs his fingers into the slightly exposed skin of Karl's hipbones as he does so. Pulls their bodies close until he's hovering over Karl.
Karl smiles like it'll be his last time like he just read a post that said smiling instantly boosts serotonin and he needs to test it out immediately. Sapnap smiles too. They smile into each other then press their smiles together through giggles and sighs.
Luckily, as the world may have it, Karl doesn't have to pretend to be drunk anymore. Now he can express and confess his love to Sapnap while completely sober. Sapnap accepts his hand and holds it tightly every opportunity they have.