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“Okay…” Sophia’s voice tentatively echoed from Ren’s phone. “Anger is not just for hurting people. It is also able to save people.”
Eyes darting to the side, Ren let out a small hum as he contemplated Sophia’s words. Righteous anger was something both he and his friends had plenty of experience with. And it was true that such anger could definitely be utilized towards helping, not only current and future victims but also, change someone’s heart. So, in a way, that type of anger was spurring on the saving of someone who’d lost their way. But at the same time… Ren couldn’t help but be reminded of a certain brunette he’d become rather well acquainted with..
“Sometimes it’s not enough…” Ren finally said, a heavy feeling in his chest as his mind began to wander dangerously close to a path he didn’t want to go down.
“Consider: anger saved Alice,” Sophia responded, trying her best to rationalize and make sense of such an abstract concept. “If someone is in the wrong, anger can be used to show them the error of their ways. The human heart is such a mystery…”
Nodding, Ren couldn’t help but agree with Sophia on that point. Time and time again, life as a Phantom Thief had more than proved that the human heart was incomprehensibly complicated, confusing, messy, and unpredictable. There’d been times he’d even questioned himself in the act of changing someone’s heart… wondered if it was something he should go through with rather than just leave things as they were.
Shaking the roaming thoughts from his head, Ren offered a small smile and nod as Sophia thanked him for his help in her endeavors to further understand humanity. Setting the phone down and turning the lights, Ren did his best focus on the soft purrs coming from Morgana as he closed his eyes.
“You're thinking about him again,” the cat in question sighed, standing up to stretch and hop to the other side of the bed. “Aren’t you?”
“Featherman?” Ren mumbled, choosing to offer a cheeky response rather than be forthcoming with what Morgana obviously already knew. “How’d you know?”
“Hilarious,” Morgana deadpanned back, earning a small smirk from Ren. “Seriously though. ‘Sometimes it’s not enough’? Could you be more obvious?”
Letting out huff, Ren rolled onto his side and turned his back to the unpleasant interrogation. It wasn’t that Morgana was out of line or that Ren was necessarily mad with him. But he wasn’t in the mood to hear about how he could talk about things for the hundredth time. It was a subject he didn’t want to talk or even think about… he’d worked hard to push the feeling of pain, loneliness, and loss down. They didn’t need a reason to come bubbling back to the surface.
“C’mon,” Morgana sighed, nudging Ren with his head. “Don't make me bring my claws out.”
“Can’t you just go to bed?” Ren sighed, trying to scoot away as Morgana began kneading the bed dangerously close to his back.
“You really think using my own line on me is going to work?” Morgan snarked back as he kneaded closer and yet closer to the retreating male.
“Hnnnnnghh FINE!” Ren relented, realizing he would topple onto the floor were he to scoot any further forward.
Letting out a triumphant laugh, Morgana ceased his kneading and slunk to the far end of the mattress. Rolling onto his back, Ren slowly exhaled as he prepared to face the thoughts he’d been trying so hard to ignore. Offering a surprising amount of patience, Morgan simply stood and stared as he allowed his friend to gather his thoughts. This wasn’t the first time one of them had needed to talk about a difficult topic with the other and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.
“Maybe I was thinking about Go-... Akechi a bit.” Ren breathed, his voice softening as he forced himself to use the former detective’s family name rather than his given. “What’s it matter to you though?”
It hurt to speak about the Detective Prince in such a formal way. Even with how messy and complicated their dynamic had been… Ren couldn’t deny how much he’d cared for the other boy. They’d both shared so much with each other and grown so close. And then the night before facing Maruki had rolled around… it’d been heated and emotional.
Morgana wasn’t aware of everything that had transpired that night, having left the two to be alone soon after Maruki had made his leave. And, despite his own suspicions, he’d probably never know the full extent of everything that had been shared between them. Ren had been silent on the subject ever since Goro had disappeared and Morgana had been hesitant to push too much on the subject. But enough was enough.
“What matters to me,” Morgana scoffed. “Is that you’ve been moping ever since we took down Maruki’s palace but refuse to talk about it.”
“I haven’t been moping,” Ren retorted, his tone somewhat sharp. “And why would I talk to you about someone you didn’t even like?”
“Maybe because I’m your friend and care about you?” Morgana snapped, catching Ren off guard. “What, no sarcastic response?”
“I-I…” Ren said, his mouth going dry as he stared at the ceiling.
Tears were starting to build as Ren tried to swallow the lump forming in his throat. Slinging an arm across his face, he found himself flashing back to that last night… to how he’d ended up pouring his heart out and finally confessed his feelings for Goro. He’d completely broken down when Goro had begun accusing him of showing mercy and saying that the threat on his life was trivial. He’d shouted about how he wanted so badly to be selfish this one time and accept Maruki’s offer… to keep Goro in his life. He’d longed to latch on and never let go of Goro when he’d been taken into a hesitant yet surprisingly tender embrace. They’d spent the rest of that night together… hardly speaking as they laid together in Ren’s small bed. And, for a moment, Ren thought he may have finally had a chance to just be happy with his new found family.
In the end though, Goro had convinced Ren to face off with Maruki and do what was best for everyone. The infamous leader of the Phantom Thieves had set his own feelings and desire aside to bring everyone back to reality. He’d given the people back their free will and faced the consequences of standing against those in power. It was a bittersweet ending all things considered… but he’d fulfilled his duty and not uttered a word of complaint towards it since.
“You’ve helped a lot of people,” Morgana said, his tone softening. “Myself included. So why not accept some in return every so often?”
Allowing the words to sink in, Ren let out a soft chuckle as a few tears managed to make their escape. “Maybe I will,” he hummed. “Sorry… for being so difficult.”
“Don’t sweat it,” Morgana purred, relieved to have finally gotten through to his friend.
“I just… really miss him…”
Nodding, Morgana listened as Ren finally vented the feelings he’d been trying so hard to avoid acknowledging. Occasionally, the former would offer words of sympathy and understanding. But mostly, he just listened and allowed his best friend and team leader to talk through the confusing, messy emotions he was having so much difficulty even understanding himself.
Finally, hours later, the two found themselves having drifted off sometime during the course of their impromptu therapy session while Sophia thought on everything she’d overheard during the course of the night. Feelings of loss, heartbreak, and survivors guilt… conflicting emotions with how one would rationally look at the dynamic between such two people. An unyielding example of the complexity of the human heart and it’s wounds on display for her and yet no real way to truly understand it.
“The human heart…” Sophia sighed. “Is such a mystery.”