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Before the Apocalypse, Tommys memories were happy. He had a loving family, a dad and older brother that loved him. He looked back on those days with rose tinted glasses now, he knows not everything was perfect back then, but it was certainly a massive step up from his current reality.
"Just sign the goddamn papers George!" Ninja's voice carries over the small hill where their little group had made camp, words meeting the open air of the cloud filled sky and the ocean of lava surrounding them.
Tommy supposes he was lucky Wilbur was with him when the cataclysm came, splitting their world open and flooding everything with lava, he wasn't sure he'd be able to deal with the bickering couple they'd picked up along the way if he was by himself.
"No! I'm not doing that! Leave me alone!" George yells right back, kicking at his husband's shins.
This only makes Ninja angrier, the dirty and slightly singed at the corner divorce papers in his hands are crumpled in his grip, Tommy hardly thinks that even if Courthouses were open anymore, there's no chance in hell they would accept those anyway. Ninja retaliated by kicking George right back, waving those fucking papers in front of his face and yelling at him.
Tommy looks at Wilbur and Wilbur looks right back at him, equally exasperated expressions on their faces as they share a pained sight before looking at the cat fight evolving in front of them.
It's only when Ninja and George seem to be doing more than light kicks and punches at each other does Tommy get involved.
"Oi, dickheads!" He yells at them because he is nothing if not eloquent. "Stop pussyin around we got shit to do!"
Ninja and George break apart, brushing dirt off their clothes as they give each other dirty glares.
"Sorry," Ninja says in a way that implies he's not sorry at all, "what's the plan?"
---
Mining is the worst, Tommy hates it on normal days, grinding for gear has never been his forte, much preferring to steal from his dad or brothers. But given they're not around right now for him to conveniently Nick a fire res potion off of, he's acquiring a new hatred for mining as he carefully mines into the earth, the heat of the lava around him leaving him sticky with sweat, his situation is only made worse by the fact George and Ninja are arguing again but this time Wilburs decided to join in.
He decides to go off on his own for a bit, the constant telling is getting to him and he's about one minor inconvenience away from committing multiple atrocities so he takes a moment to breathe, goes mining again and stumbles into iron.
He smiles widely at the discovery, one step closer to home, one step closer to seeing Phil and Techno again.
Tommy walks back to where he last left the other members of his party, excitement of his discovery fading faster than the authors will to live as he saw the sight in front of him.
"I could have stickier fingers though George," Wilbur taunts, in his hand is a flint and steel that's he's holding over a pool of lava, Ninja is standing beside hum, arms crossed over his chest as he smugly looks at George who is across from them, his back facing Tommy as he tried to understand what the fuck happened when he left.
"I hate that you worded it like that," George says and Tommy can't help but agree.
Seriously, what the fuck doesn't that even mean?
"Sign the papers George and then you can have the flint and steel!" Ninja yells.
"Why are you purposefully stopping our progress?!" George asks.
Who knew Gogy would be the most sane one of them.
Deciding he's heard enough already, Tommy turns around and head back into his mine, a few minutes later Wilbur's voice echoes down the hallway, loudly proclaiming: "fuck I dropped it!"
---
Now that George wasn't dead anymore, (Tommy didn't like to think about it so he's not offering any explanation beyond; they all went a little insane while down in those mines.) They were off and exploring to the next stretch of land they could find. After a small incident with Wilbur accidentally proposing to Ninja, he and George had finally made up.
It was nice to not hear the yelling anymore and the two of them seemed to get on really well when they weren't actively looking for things to hate about each other.
Exploring their post apocalyptic world wasn't as tedious any more, their days and nights spent together felt oddly reminiscent of family. Brothers forged in hellfire or something like that.
Of course, the peace could only last so long. They'd managed to get water by forcing Ninja to cry by tricking him into thinking his husband was dead again finding a small source, and they finally had a nether portal.
Trading one lava filled hellscape for another, they somehow luckily managed to spawn in the fortress, Tommy instantly rushed off to get blaze rods but gets distracted about halfway through when he hears a scream from behind him.
Tommy turns around, ready for a fight but instead sees Ninja dangling over the edge of the fortress, George trying to pull him up but they're too busy bickering over how they even got into that situation in the first place that they don't notice a wither skeleton sneaking up behind them. Tommy tries to call out and warn them but Wilbur moves first, sword slicing through bone easily and he's pulling Ninja onto the nether brick platform easily.
After that, it seems there's no saving Ninja and George's relationship.
---
"Mate do they ever shut up?" Phil asks tiredly, rubbing circles on his temples like he's trying to soothe a persistent headache.
"Never," Tommy regretfully informs.
With the Ender Dragon dead and Phil and Techno rescued, they're all free to move on to a new world now. Tommys glad to finally be free of this living nightmare but weirdly he feels he's going to miss it.
Probably Stockholm syndrome or something.
Wilbur just huffs before he's running and jumping into the portal, Tommy, Phil and Techno following shortly after. Ninja and George are left in the End, still arguing about god knows what while Ninja waves about the divorce papers that are more stained and burned than before.
They're definitely not gonna hold up in court.