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The ducks were already swimming for the shore when Sam got to his usual bench. It made him smile as they started quacking at him, impatiently waiting for the treats he always brought them. Today, it was kale, from where he’d optimistically bought enough to make Dean a smoothie too and Dean had caught him and absolutely refused. One of these days, he’d manage to do it, but today was the ducks’ lucky day rather than Sam’s.
It was all ripped up, ready for Sam to start tossing out in small bunches. The ducks scrambled to pick up the pieces, and Sam smiled as he watched them eat. He tried to make sure to spread it at least somewhat evenly among the flock, but there were always winners and losers.
He’d just thrown another handful when two bodies plopped on either side of him on the bench. “Hello, Sam.”
“Finally, a good use for that shit.” Meg smirked at him and stole the bag of kale. “Heard you were feeling down. Me and Cas thought you could use some cheering up, and admit it, we’re better than ducks.”
“Usually, yeah, you are.” Not this time. Today was just one of those days where Sam had woken up feeling bad about himself. Feeling like the only one who would ever love him was his brother. It wasn’t true – he had a couple exes who would happily argue with him, and Meg and Castiel both loved him in a certain way. It was just the wrong way, and for some reason, today it bothered him.
“Why not today, then?” Castiel asked, his raspy voice soft and comforting. “Sam, you know we’re here for you whenever you need someone. There’s nothing to be afraid or ashamed of. What’s wrong?”
“It’s really not that big a deal,” Sam tried to protest, but Meg’s scoff and Castiel’s disappointed frown made him stop. “I know, I promised I wouldn’t blow off my feelings as not a big deal or unimportant or anything like that, but in this case, I mean it. Unrequited love hurts, but between that and losing good friends, the choice is obvious. I can’t lose…” He caught himself just in time, although there really wasn’t much else he could say. There was no way he’d convince them he meant Jody or Rowena, it would be even more disturbing if he could convince them it was Dean, and the only other good friends he had were Castiel and Meg. “I can’t lose her.”
“Nice try, Sam, but you know that’s not gonna work.” Meg pressed herself against Sam’s side. “Only question here is do you mean Clarence, me, or both?”
For a moment, Sam considered going with a double down. The biggest problem was that it would be a lie, and he’d promised to avoid those, with these two. “I never meant for either of you to know about it, I swear, but it’s… it’s both of you. Not that it matters. Neither of you could love me, so…”
“Sam.” The irritation in Castiel’s voice was not surprising, but it still hurt. “I need to know what I did to make you think so little of me.”
That… was not what Sam had expected. “Huh?”
“There are many things in this world I can’t do. I can’t stop you from having bad days, or getting your heart broken, or tell you how to live.”
“Or stop the ocean waves,” Meg chimed in, earning a glare from Castiel.
“What I don’t know, don’t want to know, but apparently need to… why would you ever think that loving you was on that list?” Sam started to protest that Castiel was misunderstanding, but he held up a hand. “I know you’re going to argue that you don’t mean as a friend or a brother. Sam, neither do I. Whatever mistakes I’ve made in the past that have you convinced I couldn’t love you as a lover, I can’t go back and unmake them, but please tell me what they are so I can make them right.”
“You know we won’t leave you when you need a friend,” Meg added, much more helpfully than before. “What makes you think we’d leave you when you need a lover? Especially when both of us have loved you all along, you big doofus. Honestly, we thought you knew that and just weren’t interested in us, or we’d have had this talk years ago.”
Sam looked between the two of them for so long that the ducks started quacking in annoyance because he wasn’t throwing the kale anymore. Meg grabbed a handful and tossed it out. “Wait, why did you think I wasn’t interested?”
“Because when I mentioned the possibility of you going to prom with Meg so I didn’t have to, you got so awkward about it the only explanation I could come up with was that you weren’t interested in her,” Castiel said. “Now I suspect it was that you were interested in her but didn’t believe she could return that interest.”
“It, uh, it was because I knew you were interested in her and didn’t want to interfere,” Sam admitted. He then realized why Castiel probably assumed he wasn’t interested in him, either. “And same idea when you asked me to be your date for your parents’ college graduation party for you. I thought you were just asking me because you were worried about Meg behaving herself, and…”
Meg burst into laughter. “That one, you’re right about, actually, he ended up taking Amelia Johnson. On the other hand, every time he started flirting with you, you’d have a new girlfriend within a week. After the fifth time, even I couldn’t convince him it wasn’t a coincidence.”
Sam stared. “Um… it was. I never noticed Castiel flirting with me. Ever.”
“Even today?” Castiel said. “Sam, I don’t know how much more direct I can be. I love you and would like you to be part of my relationship with Meg.”
“And I am completely on board with that, with or without you completing the triangle,” Meg added.
“Well then.” Sam wrapped an arm around each of them, pulling them into a somewhat awkward hug. “Love you both, too. Thanks for cheering me up in the best way possible.”