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Alone in his room, on the second floor of a little inn, Ye Baiyi downed cup after cup of the finest wine available to keep the bitter tears at bay. How had things ever become so entangled? Rong Xuan had repeated the mistakes of his father and turned himself into the number one enemy of all jianghu. While Ye Baiyi had been holed up on his mountain, the sworn brothers of the Five Lakes Alliance had rallied against their xiongdi and driven him to his death.
Though he might not show it, Ye Baiyi hated it when people called Rong Xuan a madman, a murderer, and an evildoer. The man everyone knew as the grandmaster of jianghu, the one who had famously undergone qi deviation and killed his wife in a fit of rage, was none other that Ye Baiyi’s beloved disciple. In fact, Rong Xuan was even more than that to him: he was his son, too. Rong Xuan, the only child of Rong Changqing and Madam Rong, had been raised and trained by Ye Baiyi since infancy. The child had been naturally adept at martial arts since a very young age, but it was his relationship to the adults on Changming Mountain that made him extra special. In Ye Baiyi’s heart, Rong Xuan was and always would be the child of his best friend, his soulmate.
Ye Baiyi wasn’t prone to sentimentality, at least, not since he had mastered the sacred text and become immortal, but his past, mortal self had been warm and caring in his own way. A century of eating snow and drinking snowmelt had taken its toll on his emotions and, as Madam Rong had pointed out on numerous occasions, his heart was now as frozen as the peak of Changming Mountain itself. However, Rong Changqing had known this to be a fallacy; Ye Baiyi’s attitude towards his son, his devotion to Rong Changqing himself, and his readiness at giving up the mortal world for the sake of this little family was proof enough that Ye Baiyi was anything but callous and cold.
When Ye Baiyi had come down the mountain and into the mortal world once more, he had done so with the express wish to fulfill his promise to Rong Changqing. Unexpectedly, however, he had come to enjoy his newfound freedom. He had met incredible people along the way and had somehow grown attached to a specific trio of idiots who seemed bent on getting themselves killed at every turn.
Today’s youth is incorrigible, he repeated to himself whenever Zhou Zishu, his disciple-by-proxy, got himself into a world of trouble, risking his life for trifles—the glazed amour, the fights between sects, the old grudges of long-dead masters.
Zhou Zishu was an honest and steadfast man, but Ye Baiyi could see the cracks in his carefully crafted facade. Don’t be like me, don’t make the same mistakes, he thought with a pang when he saw how ‘Manor Lord Zhou’ surfaced as a form of barrier towards Wen Kexing’s open feelings. Ye Baiyi saw how Zhou Zishu insisted on guarding himself against his own heart, the same way he had done with…
Changqing, these brats are so similar to us when we were their age. Were we this obnoxious, though?
Ye Baiyi had done himself a similar disservice when he had chosen to bury his heart, hide it away from the world, and pretend that he didn’t care about anything nor anyone. When Rong Changqing had been near death after his failed cultivation, Ye Baiyi had almost broken his resolve to never tell his best friend how he truly felt, but then, when Rong Changqing had recovered, he had announced he would marry the village girl who had helped save his life and keep Ye Baiyi by his side until the end of his days.
Everyone knew that these acts were done out of obligation rather than love. Ye Baiyi knew that his friend was filial and honourable to a fault, even willing to marry for the sake of repaying a debt. Later, when Rong Changqing and Ye Baiyi had drunk their secret sorrows away, sitting on cold stone stools with the winterly wind of the mountain whipping around them, the former had broken down with guilt while the latter had spent the night by his side with a heavy heart of his own, a warm hand on his shoulder in solidarity.
Months and years had passed by, and still Ye Baiyi kept his secret deeply buried deep within his heart. Madam Rong came to resent his presence in their lives but, when her husband had died, she had chosen to stay by Ye Baiyi’s side until her passing. Unbeknownst to Ye Baiyi, Rong Changqing had made his wife swear to him to accompany his soulmate in his place. Rong Changqing felt eternally indebted to Ye Baiyi for his sacrifice and, knowing that immortality was the loneliest of roads, he didn’t want him to suffer this burden on his own.
Now, thirty years later, Ye Baiyi well and truly walked this path alone. Rong Changqing and Madam Rong were gone, and so too was their only son and his wife. Forced to roam the world on his own, Ye Baiyi came across so much anger and hatred directed at his disciple from the Five Lakes Alliance that it churned his stomach.
“Rong Xuan, that bastard! If it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t have lost so many lives back then!” had bellowed a sect disciple as his brothers rallied around him.
“That’s right!”
“Monster!”
“Vile creature!”
“Desecrate his grave, scatter his ashes! He doesn’t deserve our respect.”
Shut up! You don’t know anything, you immature fools! screamed Ye Baiyi in his heart, but his outwardly face had remained impassive. How could these young ones remember events from twenty years past? Who could say with confidence that they had known Rong Xuan, had spoken to him and spent time in his company?
No one knew what Ye Baiyi knew. No one apart for himself had held a babbling baby in his arms, fresh out of the womb, nor bathed and fed the infant as he grew, nursed him to health when ill, taught him martial arts, literature, military tactics, … no one had done these things other than Ye Baiyi.
“Changqing, can you ever forgive me?” questioned Ye Baiyi out loud to the empty seat before him as the memories dispersed to make way for the cold and lonely room at the inn. “In the end, I’m a useless bastard who couldn’t even protect your legacy in this lifetime.”
A silent tear slipped past his guard and rolled down his porcelain-like cheek, landing with a plop! that seemed to echo more loudly than an avalanche in the deafening silence of the room.
“Changqing, how can I face you in the next life? Forgive me if this old one refuses to die just yet; I’m not ready to see the disapproval and hurt in your eyes…”
Ye Baiyi had loved Rong Xuan as though he was his own because, in a way, he was his child. Rong Changqing had been by his side ever since he could remember, always smiling and playful, and Ye Baiyi had loved him with every fiber of his being. Even though he could never have Rong Changqing in this lifetime, he could at least partake in the joy of parenthood and raise the child of his soulmate. Even though he had never admitted it to anyone, not even Rong Changqing, Ye Baiyi had always taken Xuan’er as his own.
You still haven’t let go after all these years? had asked Lord Seventh with pity and sadness mixed into his voice when Ye Baiyi had suddenly felt the need to express his long-repressed emotions.
How could one let go? Soulmates came once in a lifetime; the devastation of losing one’s other half, whether platonic or romantic, was simply to painful to simply ‘let go.’ Ye Baiyi found it ironic that Lord Seventh, of all people, couldn’t understand his devotion.
How hypocritical of him, thought Ye Baiyi with a wry smile.
Ye Baiyi had matter-of-factly told Zhang Chengling to forget about his dead parents and move on, but he couldn’t let Rong Changqing go; he had told Zhou Zishu to dispel his martial arts in exchange for a miserable life, yet he himself had suffered an eternity as neither dead nor alive; he had told Wen Kexing to let go of his grudges, but he couldn’t give up his crusade against the ghosts of Mount Qingya…
Truly, he was the most hypocritical, shameless bastard of all.
Sipping on the last dredges of his wine, Ye Baiyi was plagued by voices of the past. Each and every one of them had been or currently were important people to him, but how could he ever repay their kindness and love?
Shifu, when will you teach me the Combined Six Cultivation method? Xuan’er is ready for the next step, shifu. Shifu, please, teach me how to be like you! Shifu… Ye-shu—
Plop! Forget it.
Baiyi, take care of my son when I’m no longer here. Protect him as you would me. I trust you more than anyone else in this world. You are my precious soulmate after all.
Plop! Forget it.
Senior Ye, I know that your feelings for my husband run deep, so on that basis, I’m begging you to save his life. Even though we may not see eye to eye, I know that we can be united in our love for Changqing.
Plop! Forget it.
Old monster! Don’t you die on us just yet, I still haven’t beaten you as promised. 10 years… that was the agreement. Don’t you dare die or else I’ll go and fetch you back from hell myself.
Plop! Forget it.
Senior Ye, my shifu gave me this sword saying it came from a great master… that master was you, right? My shifu spoke highly of you. If it pleases you, stay with us at the Four Seasons Manor. This humble one will die soon, but it would be my life’s greatest pleasure to learn from you before I do.
Forget it, forget it, forget it!
Ye Baiyi cursed his treacherous heart, this organ which was betraying him even after all these years of isolated cultivation. How could he still be so sensitive to these mortals’ pleas? Lord Seventh had been right after all; he really couldn’t let go. In the end, his heart was just too full.
The wine in the jugs had long since dried up, but Ye Baiyi’s cup refilled itself with tears as his memories swirled around. The white of his hair reflected in the watery surface as a reminder that his days were finally numbered. He had supped and drank to his heart’s content, but now it was time for him to leave.
“Xuan’er, shifu is coming to join you soon. How have you been? Is Feng Er still with you?”
Ye Baiyi grabbed the brimming cup in his hand and tilted it in midair in a swiping motion. The liquid spilled out and splashed against the wood of the tabletop.
“Changqing… are you still waiting for me? In the next life, I swear to be more honest and forthcoming with you. Please accompany me for another cycle, I still need your guidance… your affection.”
The emptied cup fell from his fingers with a clatter and skittered across the slick surface to land on the floor.
Ye Baiyi closed his eyes and exhaled.
The End ;A;