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It happened so fast.
Mike had been sitting in the ambulance, his brain pounding hard against his skull, but relief in the form of El safe by his side flooding his veins.
He remembered running into the mall rotunda, recalled the white-hot fear that paralyzed him as he realized just how close she was to being no more.
Petrified to the bone that the girl he loved would be taken from him for good.
When all he could do was watch.
Except, she wasn't. She was safe, saved, and tucked tightly into his side. With his arm around her, he could feel her shoulders rise and fall with each shaky breath. A sign she was there.
She was alive.
His head may have been hurting like a son of a bitch, but that didn't matter at all.
He even remembered thinking everything else turned out mostly fine, too, all giant, mall-destroying monsters considered.
Everything was going to be okay.
That didn't last very long.
He watched as El slid off of the bumper, limping into the makeshift clearing of emergency vehicles. He didn't have to guess what she was looking for.
She stood for a moment, her eyes scanning the dozens of people. Then, her head began to shake. He wasn't sure why until Mrs. Byers rushed over, enveloping El in a hug.
His own eyes started to survey the area. There had to be a mistake. Hopper was the guy who was supposed to be there no matter what, like, always. There was no way he was gone.
Not him.
Whatever denial he had briefly been harboring was entirely swept away when El turned and caught his eyes, her face in shambles.
Hopper wasn't coming back.
El's entire world, upended.
Again.
He may or may not have recalled one of the paramedics telling him to take it easy, but fuck that.
He took off towards her.
As soon as she was in arm's reach, he wrapped his arms around her. Instantly, she balled up her fists on his shirt, tugging some of the fabric with them. With her head tucked under his chin, sobs racked her frame.
What he wouldn't give to take the pain away.
Mike didn't say anything, not with everyone staring at the two of them like they had nothing better to do. With unrelenting cries, she let him guide her behind an ambulance, out of sight.
"Hey, I've got you." Mike whispered as he pulled them to the ground so she could lay her head on his shoulder, "I'm here."
He could feel her breathing even out the slightest bit as he traced small circles on her back.
"I am so sorry, El."
He must have repeated those words a trillion times.
Convincing his mom to let him stay at the Byers' was easier than he thought it would be. After another "freak accident" paired with a concussion this time around, he was sure he'd be met with a resounding no. Instead, she squeezed him tight and told him to call first thing in the morning.
If he had to guess, it was the shape El was in that got Karen to agree. She was a mother first.
He had never been more grateful.
It was how he ended up sitting on the Byers' couch, foot drumming on the floor, waiting for El to finish cleaning up. Nancy and Jonathan had come through the door about a half-hour earlier, carrying enough of El's things to last her a week.
Everyone knew she wouldn't want to go back to the cabin.
His head snapped up as a door creaked open. Joyce emerged from her room, looking almost as drawn as he had ever seen her.
He figured whatever strength she was retaining had been for El's sake.
"Mike." She approached him slowly, "I'm gonna let you stay in there if she wants you to, but just for tonight. I don't want it to become a habit, okay?"
He nodded, knowing full well he'd be sneaking through the window whenever El called, "Thanks, Mrs. Byers."
She cast him the ghost of a smile, if that, "Of course, sweetheart."
Mike stood from the couch, making his way to the doorframe. He hesitated for just a moment.
He had absolutely no idea what he was doing.
Quickly, he realized he didn't have to. Maybe he didn't know exactly what to do or say, but he'd figure it out because he loved her. El just needed him to be there, and that was one thing he knew how to do for her, so he would, with all his might, come hell or high water.
He pulled in a deep breath and pushed it out with force before knocking gently on the door.
"Come in." It was the first time he had heard her voice in hours, her tone trim and rasp.
As he stepped in, he found El sitting on Joyce's bed, her back against the headboard, knees tucked under her chin, her arms tightly pulling her legs into her body.
He swore his heart shattered right there in his chest, but he had to persist, "Hey, um, Mrs. Byers said I could stay with you tonight, you know, if you want me to. If not, I'll just go stay in the living room or whatever, you can just come get m–"
"Mike." El cut him off, looking at him for the first time through red, puffy eyes.
"Yeah?"
"Stay," she released a shaky breath, "please."
"Okay, yeah. Yeah, sure."
He moved over to settle next to her on the bed, bringing his arm around her shoulders. El shifted down, moving her head to his chest. She reached for his other hand with one of hers, threading their fingers together.
"Thank you," she whispered against his chest.
Always, I love you, were the words he felt like saying.
He opted for others instead, "You don't have to thank me. I'm not going anywhere."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
It came as a surprise to no one that Hopper hadn't done much planning, leaving Joyce to be the one to make the arrangements.
Mike had no idea what any of that looked like; all he knew was it forced everyone into some kind of weird limbo.
For a little over a week, they were frozen in time. With nothing to do but sit and stir, he watched El disappear inside herself with every passing second. After the initial night, she had hardly said a word to anyone.
Totally stoic.
The two of them were always connected in such a way that they really didn't need that many words, and still, he couldn't tell what the hell she was thinking.
He despised it.
As he rode up the Byers' drive, the front door swung open. He sensed something was wrong when El stepped out onto the porch.
He skidded his bike to a halt, "Hey, are you –"
El cut him off, "I tried to call."
"Oh, I must have just missed it." He dropped the bike to the ground, "What's up?"
"I don't want to see you today." Her eyes darted away from him, "Or anymore."
Did the world stop turning? It felt like it might have.
"What?" He couldn't hide the confusion he felt cross his face, "What do you mean? Did I do something?"
She kept her eyes trained on the ground, "No."
"Then what's the matter?" He stood face to face with her, "El, hey."
As she met his eyes, he swore he saw a brief spot of tenderness, but it was gone in a flash. Her face hardened, "Nothing is wrong."
"Obviously –"
"Go home, Mike." She spat in a tone he didn't even know she was capable of before turning into the house, slamming the door behind her.
What the fuck just happened?
He tried to ignore the stabbing feeling in his lungs.
"What was that about?" Will's voice broke his thoughts.
He flinched, "Shit, Will!"
Will pulled his bike to a stop before him, grocery bags hanging off the handlebars, "You seriously didn't hear me coming up?"
Mike kicked a pebble off the deck, "I was a little busy."
"I saw." Will arched an eyebrow, "What'd she say?"
He felt his stomach drop, "She doesn't want to see me anymore, I guess? I don't know."
"El said that?"
Mike nodded silently.
He watched Will turn a thought over before he spoke up, "Do you want me to talk to her?"
Mike's eyebrows rose, "You'd do that?"
Will nodded, shooting him a small smile, "She did save my life a few times, you know."
"Okay, yeah. Just make sure she's alright.” He moved his gaze to the dirt, “Even if she actually doesn't want to see me again."
"No problem." Will passed him going to the door before angling back, "You should, like, go take a nap or something. You look like shit."
"Yeah, I know," Mike let out a small laugh.
"Seriously though, go." Will urged, "I got this one."
If it was anyone else, Mike might have hesitated, but he trusted Will. He gave him an appreciative nod, "Thanks, man."
He wasn't sure at what point he took Will's advice to heart. One minute he was lying on the basement couch, worrying himself out of his brain, and the next, knocking on the basement door jolted him awake. The first thing he noticed was how dark it had become.
He had been sleeping for hours. His mind immediately went to El, praying to whoever that she was doing better.
That he would hear from her soon.
More knocking forced him to sit up and wipe the sleep from his eyes. He figured it must have been Lucas. From what he had heard, El and Max weren't in conditions all that different. Except, Max hadn't really wanted to see Lucas at all. Mike was just relieved he wasn't in that boat.
At least, he hadn't been until earlier.
The tapping on the door grew impatient, "Alright, hold on. Hold on!"
Moving over to the threshold, he flicked the outside light on. His heart stopped when he got a glimpse of El. Mike yanked the door open as fast as he could.
"Hi," El breathed out shyly.
"Hi." He cleared his throat, "Sorry. I, uh, I thought you were Lucas."
El shook her head slightly as tears started to stream down her face.
It totally twisted his guts to see her cry, but weirdly, he supposed it was good. At least she was showing signs of feeling something.
He just hated it had to come out like that.
Mike reached out, gently pulling her through the door frame, engulfing her in a tight hug.
She burrowed her head under his chin, "I'm sorry."
"El, it's okay." Mike brought a hand to her head, "It's okay."
"I lied," she choked out, her tears soaking his shirt, "I was scared."
"We’ll get there - just try to breathe, alright?" Mike led her over the couch so they could sit, keeping an arm around her and using the other to sling her legs across his. He stroked smooth patterns across her back until her breathing evened out.
She sniffed, pulling her head off his chest, "You aren't...mad?"
"I mean, I definitely didn't appreciate it, but I'm not mad. I’m worried." He pushed a strand of hair from her face, "Do you wanna talk about it?"
El looked at him through her tears. She sighed, "Everyone around me gets hurt."
The lines connected in his head instantaneously; she was blaming herself for everything that had happened.
Pushing him away was her idea of minimizing damage.
Mike felt his heart squeeze, "And you thought if you didn't see me, I wouldn't get hurt."
El nodded, swallowing hard.
"El, I'm not going to get hurt, and I'm definitely not gonna get hurt because of you."
In truth, she had more power to hurt him than she could even imagine, just not in the way she was referring to.
"But Mama got hurt, Hop is...gone." She squeezed her eyes shut, "I can't lose you, too."
"Hey, you're not going to lose me, I promise you that." Mike pressed his lips in a thin line, "And those other things, they happened because of bad people. Not because of you."
"I know now," she shook her head, "Will said."
Mike felt his eyebrows shoot up, "He did?"
"Yes." She gave him a small smile, "He's nice."
He chuckled, "Yeah, he is."
"He said when we're afraid to lose each other, that's when we should stay closer."
"Yeah," he pulled her into his side, "I think he's right."
"Me, too." She rested her head on his shoulder, "I'm sorry."
"I forgive you," Mike laughed, "I'm just glad you came – that you wanted to see me, period."
"That was stupid. I want to see you always."
"Good, because always is what you're gonna get."
With all of the tension in the room dissipated, Mike felt her take a few deep breaths, "Mike?"
"Yeah?"
"I miss the way everything used to be."
When he was younger, he always thought that if he could have superpowers, he’d want Optic Blasts like Cyclops or be able to wield the Force like Luke. That changed quickly over the course of a few days.
He would have loved to time travel.
"I know, and I'm sorry I can't make it better,” his eye caught the box of tapes across the room, “but I think I have something that might help, at least for a little bit."
He pushed himself off of the couch, bounding towards the TV set. There was only one VHS he had no plans of returning to the video store; El loved it way too much for him to let it go.
"Here." He held the copy of Footloose up, shaking it lightly, "What do you say?"
Her eyes brightened, "Okay."
Mike beamed back before turning to pop the tape in, "If anyone can make anything seem better for two hours, it's Kevin Bacon."
El laughed half-heartedly as he dropped back on the couch, "I'm glad I have you."
"So am I," he stammered, "I mean, glad that I have you. Not glad you have me, but I guess –"
"Mike, I got it," she giggled.
The sound of her laugh lit him up inside. For a minute, if he had tried hard enough, he may have been able to forget that everything around them had turned to shit.
He really had to thank Will again.
For the rest of the world, days went on as they usually did, even though it felt like they shouldn't have.
For them, well, Hopper left a gaping hole in everyone's life.
Even Mike's.
They almost never saw eye to eye, sure, but in a lot of ways, the chief was more of a dad to him than his own father was.
What a stupid cliché.
Still, he had been so wrapped up in everything surrounding Hopper's death that the fact he was actually gone didn't really hit Mike until he laid a single rose over the empty casket.
Of all the people in the entire world, he was the mightiest. How could a man who was larger than life be turned into nothing?
It wasn't meant to happen that way.
Mike, be careful.
Those last words Hopper had said to him were never supposed to be final. Mike knew what he was actually saying.
I trust you, just in case.
Which was all they were ever supposed to be. Just in case. He was always, always, supposed to come back.
It was all so fucking unfair.
"Mike," El softly murmured from his side, "are you okay?"
They were at her dad's funeral, and she was asking him if he was okay. Unbelievable.
Decades will eventually pass, and even with all the time in the world, he'll find that he's never able to quite understand why she continues to choose him, but every day for the rest of his life, he'll thank the stars she does.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"
Her own eyes teary, she reached up to gently wipe a spot on his cheek with her thumb, "You're crying."
Shit.
What kind of idiot doesn't realize he's crying?
"Oh! Fuck." He muttered, quickly reaching up to wipe his eyes with the back of his wrist.
El's features softened as she looked at him through her eyelashes, interlocking their hands, "Come with me."
"But the serv–"
She tugged on his hand, "Come on."
They weaved through the sea of people that had come to pay their respects, settling down on a nearby bench.
El turned to him immediately, "I know you want to take care of me because I'm sad, but you can be sad, too. It's okay."
God, he loved her.
"I know; I'm sorry."
She placed her hand on his forearm, "Don't be sorry. Tell me what you feel."
He was never very good at telling her no, so he steadied himself before going on, "I miss him."
El nodded solemnly, "I know."
Mike shook his head, "I mean, it's kind of stupid. We were always butting heads, and he didn't even like me, but I just can't help it. He was always there, and now he's just not. It's so weird."
"Mike, look at me," El implored, and he obliged. "He loved you."
He let out a light scoff, "I know you're just saying that to make me feel better. It's okay."
She rolled her eyes, "I'm saying because I know."
"You really think so?"
El nodded, the tiniest smile growing on her face, "He would have hurt you a long time ago if he didn't."
He chuckled, "I guess you have a point there."
"Good."
Mike hunched over, leaning his head against her shoulder, "I never showed it but, I loved him, too."
El brought her fingers to the nape of his neck, fiddling with his hair, "I know you did."
"You know what he would say to us right now, right?"
"What?"
Mike dropped his voice to imitate Hopper's, "Do the two of you always have to be all over each other? Jesus, I don't even know how you can breathe."
His impression garnered the first real laugh he heard from her in weeks. Despite the grief, his chest swelled at the sound. He could hear the grin in her voice when she spoke, "Sounds like him."
Silence slowly crept over them, the aura lighter than it had been in a long time. He wasn't sure when things would feel normal again or if they ever would, for that matter, but he knew they'd deal with it together.
It was more than enough to keep him going.
Joyce proved to be more lenient than Hopper ever was, judging by the amount of time El spent at his house instead of theirs.
That particular night, the two of them laying on a blanket staring up at the sky. The September air was damp, leftover from the light spots of rain earlier in the day, but El didn't seem to mind, so neither did he.
How could he when it felt like they were the only two people in the world?
"I wish I listened," El stated simply, her eyes never leaving the stars.
He turned over on his side to face her, "What?"
"To you. I wish I listened to you."
"Oh, um, about what?"
A beat passed between them, "My powers."
Right.
Mike couldn't say that his reasons for not wanting her to use them so much weren't almost entirely selfish, but he knew what using them too often did to her, and he couldn't bear to watch that happen without at least trying to open his mouth about it. That, and everyone else was being one collective asshole over the whole thing.
He had been livid, to say the least. So angry that his friends, his sister included, were so ready to throw El into the fire without a second thought, offering nothing themselves, just because she had superpowers. They were totally taking advantage of knowing she would go willingly. All they had to do was ask.
For no reason? Mike, the flayed are there doing God knows what.
Killing, flaying.
Transforming into monsters.
Of course, El knew her limits, but he knew she would blow right through them if anything had come to that. Not a single one of them had any idea how much guilt she carried with her every single day. They had no idea of the lengths she would go to just to feel like she was making up for any of it.
It never mattered how many times he told her it was never her responsibility.
Maybe they would have been able to find ways to go on with their lives if anything had happened to El, but he wouldn't have.
He'd been there before.
But, in the end, she did the right thing in not listening to him. She would always do the right thing.
"El, no." Mike shook his head, "You were right not to listen to me. Really, you were."
Her eyebrows furrowed, "Then why didn't you want me to?"
"Because," he huffed, "I'm selfish. And you're not, and that scares me to death sometimes, but I was never thinking of Billy or anyone else. You were a good person, the best person."
He watched as El's demeanor shifted. Her voice was meek when she replied, "I couldn't save him."
"Hey," Mike tapped her arm, forcing her to look at him, "that is not your fault."
She shrugged, "Feels like it is."
"Well, it isn't. Billy, he made a choice. It sucks that it went the way it did, but you tried everything you could. Everything. No one else can say that."
El eyed him carefully, "That counts?"
"Of course, it counts. El, you are the bravest, most selfless person I've ever met. Trust me, it counts."
"Okay," El nodded.
"Okay." The pensiveness written on her face told him she still had more to say, "Is there something else you wanna talk about?"
El pulled her bottom lip in for a second, "Do you like me differently without them?"
Like you? I'm in love with you.
"What? No, no." Mike rushed out, "Actually, can I tell you something?"
She turned on her side to mirror him, "Sure."
He smiled when their eyes met, "I had a pretty huge crush on you before I even knew you had powers."
"You did?" El grinned, her eyes crinkling at the corners.
"Oh, yeah, it was bad. Really bad." He beamed back at her, "So powers or not, I still really like you."
"Good, because I still like you, too."
Her statement was enough to make his head spin, but he fought to keep his composure.
"Hey, that reminds me." He pulled himself upright, "I know we're, like, not broken up anymore and all, but I never asked you."
"Asked me what?"
"If you would be my girlfriend," he rolled eyes, tilting his head slightly, "again."
El pressed her lips in a thin line, doing next to nothing to conceal that she was trying to hold back a grin, "Are you asking me now?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I am."
El's face lit up, "Yes, Mike. I'll be your girlfriend. Again."
His stomach fluttered as he laid back, placing hands behind his head, "Sweet."
She shuffled over, tucking herself into his side, "Sweet."
He let her settle before speaking up again, "Not that it makes a difference between us, but I'm sure you'll get them back."
"How do you know?"
"I just do, and I'm always right, so."
"No," El laughed, "you're not."
"Hey!" He sputtered dramatically, "I take offense to that."
El shook her head, "You should. Wait until Max hears; you're gonna have a headache, too."
"You wouldn't."
"I'm going to."
He didn't know how long they went back and forth; he just knew there was nothing else he'd rather have been doing.
Mike wasn't really sure who he was kidding as he crawled into bed, certainly not himself.
That lasted all of five minutes.
Five minutes with nothing but silence, darkness, and the thoughts of El leaving the next afternoon bouncing around in his head.
Thoughts of not being able to see her for a month and a half. Closer to two months, really.
They had obviously done worse. He wasn't confident he'd ever be able to forget that hopeless, always sinking feeling that settled his chest during that time. All of the searing pain that came with thinking he would never see her again.
But that was back when he hadn't even scratched the surface of his feelings, but things changed. He didn't just have a crush anymore.
Which meant just one day without El sounded like pure torture. Forget two months.
Yeah, there was no chance in the world he would be staying at his house for a second longer.
He leaped off his mattress, grabbed his shoes, and quietly made his way out of the basement door. He had nearly made it out of the driveway when he heard the sound of keys jingling behind him.
"Mike," Nancy's voice hissed at him through a hushed tone, "what are you doing?"
"What are you doing?" He shot back, keeping his own voice low.
Asking the question was more of a habit than anything else. They both already knew the answer; it wasn't the first time they had met in the middle of the night, intent on getting to the same destination.
He could just make out Nancy rolling her eyes as he moved closer, "Hurry up and put your bike away."
They followed their ritual of parking a few houses down and legging it the rest of the way, despite being positive that Mrs. Byers knew there would be additional occupants by the last name of Wheeler in her house that night, even if she didn't let on.
Once they reached the property, he made a beeline for El's window, waving Nancy off as she told him to be ready by six.
Usually, the glass would be closed when he sauntered up, forcing him to gently tap on it to get her attention, but as he made his way over to it, it had already been shoved open.
His heart picked up as he caught sight of El, head craned, pouring over a comic Max had given her in the dim light.
So perfect he almost didn't want to disturb her, but his impatience won out.
"Hey," he whispered, causing El to startle. A sheepish grin spread across his face. "Sorry – can I come in?"
El hummed, tossing the comic aside.
Mike pulled himself through the window frame, careful not to make too much noise. He thrust his thumb over his shoulder as he gained his footing in the room, "Did you know I was on my way?"
El shook her head, "No. Just was hoping you would be soon."
She wanted to see him as badly as he wanted to see her. That was never going to get old.
"I could have come sooner; all you had to do was call."
El shrugged, "Didn't want to bother you."
Bother.
He had noticed the way El had tried to herself small when she moved in with the Byers. Not that anyone had ever made her uncomfortable, but Mike could tell she was constantly trying to stay out of the way.
As if she could ever be some type of burden.
"You could never bother me." His face softened as he moved to sit on the edge of her bed, "Not unless your name was Lucas, or Max, or Dustin; you get the point."
El chuckled, doing her best to stop it from turning into a yawn, "That's mean."
"Maybe," he laughed lightly. "You tired? We did a whole lot today."
The evidence was scattered about in the stacks of cardboard boxes piled in the room.
"A little," El stretched her hand out to him, beckoning him to take it.
He took it as she pulled him into place next to her. They shifted together, his back against her headboard; El burrowed into his side.
"Are you okay?" He questioned.
El draped an arm over his torso, speaking into his shirt, "Yes, but I don't want to leave you."
He was pretty sure he knew everything there was to know about El, but if there was one thing that was absolutely for sure, it was that she chose her words with care. Stringing the right ones together to convey precisely what she was feeling just like a technician.
The words she picked then split his soul.
A piece of her wanted to leave.
Maybe he should have taken it as some consolation that she didn't want to leave him, just Hawkins, but nothing felt like a win given the situation.
He was too aware of how hard being there was for her. The lab was far enough out of sight that it came to her in nightmares, but every location in town was practically engraved with Hopper's presence. The pitying looks from the strangers who knew her as Hop's daughter after the funeral help, either.
Hawkins had ridden her with so much anguish.
As much as he wanted her to stay so badly that it physically ached, he had to let her go.
Well, she was going whether he was okay with it or not, but he didn't have to go and make it any harder on her.
He sighed, "I know, but you know what?"
"Hm?"
"Someday, we're not going to have to be apart at all." He smirked, "Until you get sick of me, at least."
"That seems so far."
"Not being apart or getting sick of me?"
El giggled, "Not being apart."
"Oh, so you're already sick of me? Great." He pressed with a smirk.
"Not sick of you. Us being adults is so far away."
"Yeah," he shrugged, "I guess it is."
"I hate far."
"Me too, but it gives us something to look forward to," he supplied, "and we have things that are a lot less far, like Thanksgiving."
El tilted her head up at him, "Did you talk to your mom yet?"
"Not yet, but I will in the morning, I promise." He grinned down at her, "If she says no, I'll just run away."
"Sounds very…" El trailed off for a second, "daring."
"What can I say? I'm a rebel." Mike chuckled, "Plus, Nancy would totally give me a ride. We'd be breaking out together, anyway."
"She would." A yawn escaped her, "I'm just gonna miss you."
"I know. I'm going to miss you, too. Like, so much, but we're gonna get through this, just like we always do with everything."
"Yeah." El hugged him tighter, "Like we always do."
He could sense she was content with what he said; a small rush of pride filled his chest. Even if she would wake up the next morning with a million other thoughts rumbling in her brain, he had made her feel better about one.
He turned his attention to the copy of Wonder Woman #218 she had just thrown aside, "So, anything good going on in there?"
She didn't answer.
"El?"
He looked down at her as her shoulders rose and fell, her breaths keeping in time.
"El? He pressed once more.
Nothing.
As her breaths only got deeper, he realized she was out cold, and he sure as hell didn't have the heart to wake her up.
Maybe he was too young for the thought to even cross his mind, not that he never really gave a shit about that when it came to El, but if the rest of his life looked something like the two of them there, he'd be more than alright with that.
It only made him wish the someday he had been talking about would hurry the hell up, but he figured he had to take what he could get.
"Goodnight, El." Mike chuckled to himself before dropping his voice to an almost imperceptible whisper, "I love you."