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Sam can hear Torres on his comm but he can barely make out what he is saying. Sam’s sole focus is on the man bleeding out in his arms.
“Buck. Buck. Eyes on me. That’s an order.” Sam hopes some part of the sergeant or the Soldier recognizes the command for what it is.
Bucky’s breathing is ragged in his chest. Sam’s pretty sure collapsed lung. He doesn’t want to dwell on it.
He taps his comm so he can talk to Torres. “Joaquin, I need a medic. Bucky’s down.” He doesn’t wait for a response.
Bucky’s breathing is becoming more and more labored. “Bucky. Torres is on the way. Help will be here. Just a few more minutes. I need you to just hold on a few more minutes. Ok?”
Sam is worried about the distant look Bucky is getting in his eyes. He presses down harder on Bucky’s wounds. There’s still too much blood and too much distance between them and Torres. Bucky coughs and shudders, and stills.
“Buck?”
Bucky doesn’t move in his arms.
“Shit, Buck. Don’t do this.”
Sam lowers Bucky to the ground. He checks for breathing. He checks for a pulse. Sam tilts Bucky’s head back, and gives him two rescue breaths. He’s careful to make sure Bucky’s chest rises. After the two breaths, his hands move to Bucky’s sternum. His training with pararescue coming back. 30 compressions. 2 inches deep. 2 breaths. It’s a cycle. Sam knows the longer they are without help and proper medical assistance, the smaller Bucky’s chances become. The mission wasn’t supposed to be like this. 30 and 2. It’s Sam’s mantra right now.
“Fuck. I’m sorry.”
Sam prays to a God he hasn’t prayed to in years.
Sam loses track of how many cycles of compressions and breaths he gives before he can hear the sounds of Torres and a rescue team.
“Hear that Bucky. Baby, hold on a little longer.”
Sam knows Bucky cannot hear him. But it’s a comfort to him. The medics Torres brought with him seemlessly take over the cycles of CPR and start attaching an AED.
“Sam? Sam, are you ok?”
Sam holds a hand up to Torres. He cannot answer that question until he knows if Bucky is ok. Sam watches Bucky’s body twitch with the defibrillation. The medics resume CPR.
“Fuck.” Sam whispers.
After 2 minutes of CPR, the medics pause CPR, and use the AED again. “We have a pulse. Let’s move quickly.”
Sam releases a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. Torres pushes him toward the ambulance. “Go with him. I’ll finish up here.” Sam is so thankful for Torres.
Sam climbs into the ambulance, and tries to remain out of the way. He’s focusing on the rhythm of Bucky’s heartbeat on the EKG
***********************************************************
Sam’s seated next to Bucky’s hospital bed a few hours later nursing a cup of coffee. Bucky’s heart had stopped two more times and he’d had surgery before doctors were able to stabilize him. The doctors have Bucky hooked to a ventilator to allow the serum time to help Bucky heal. The doctors say he’s out of the woods and the serum will do its job. It’s just a waiting game now. Sam’s never been good at waiting.
“Bucky, I don’t know if you can hear me, but I need to say this. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. The mission was supposed to be easy. I should have been there to have your back.” Sam’s voice cracks and he can feel the hot flush that means the tears are shortly behind. It’s been a long day and he’s overwhelmed. Sam reaches into his shirt and pulls out his dog tags and plays with the ring that had recently been added to the chain. “I promised I would take care of you. Keep you safe. And I failed, Buck. I need you to open your eyes baby. I need you to do that for me.”
Sam knows he’s rambling. He knows he doesn’t make a lot of sense. He puts his coffee down on the side table clutching Bucky’s hand in his. And he feels Bucky’s answering squeeze.