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A little bit after finishing the Snowchester walls with Tubbo, him and Ranboo had come to the practical conclusion that they were at the point in their friendship where they could take the next step: Marriage. It would give them tax benefits, they could adopt together and Tubbo could fulfill his hour-long dream of becoming an adulteress.
Plus it would be hilarious.
An absolutely great idea at the time, no downfalls. So they spent the whole day before writing and hand-delivering wedding invitations to all their friends, which then caused their communications to rapidly text affirmative messages and questions all night. Well, it's nice to be loved, Ranboo supposed.
Now though, he wanted nothing more than to sit down with a fresh cup of tea and listen to Tubbo talk about wedding plans. Normally talking with Tubbo was something he took great pleasure in, it was relaxing to discuss every detail of a plan, and it's particularly fun when they do an activity at the same time. Like constructing the decorations laid out on the table he's sitting at for the party tomorrow.
However, the thing about weddings, the thing that was currently causing his leg to bounce against his chair instead of listening to the conversation. Is that even though they are specifically about the people getting married, others still seem to make their way into the process.
Which meant that Phil, of course, was already glue-covered hands deep in paper flower building. Traditionally, weddings have dads that support with the workload. And while Ranboo certainly wasn't bold enough to call Phil his dad, he is a dad. Which is probably close enough, plus they’re good friends.
But.. he also decided to bring Techno, who was currently wearing a shallow mask of indifference while commenting on the living room decorations. With Tubbo responding defensively, barely touching the signs they were supposed to be decorating.
Tubbo had reassured Ranboo earlier that the meeting would go perfectly fine, that there was absolutely no need to hide the weapons lying about, or make cowards of the mob-guards, put away the state flags or the declaration of independence. It was all totally fine! Ranboo wasn't worried at all that this visit could cause a violent conflict of clashing ideals.
But the snarky conversation is doing little to help his rising nerves,
“So, to be nosey. What are your plans here? You got quite the setup, not sure if it really got the whole marriage vibes though. Got more of a 'dictate others' feel, you know?” Techno pokes, “wouldn't want those type of vibes ruining a perfectly peaceful neighborhood.”
“Oh! Really? Well I think those ‘vibes’ can be perfectly well suited together actually, I guess we’ll find out.” Tubbo challenges.
It's as if they have the same goal here, to see this wedding decorating group crash and burn. At least Phil’s actually helping prepare, although he's seemly completely oblivious to the tense words being exchanged.
He nudges Phil to get his attention, “Why are they arguing like that?” he whispers.
Phil looks up from his project at the duo across the table and in an amusing tone he half-whispers back,
“You marrying Tubbo makes him legally and officially a neighbor-in-law. And Techno needs to approve of all neighbors”
“What...?” That was news to him, though it did have some logic. Wouldn't want to live next to someone you don't like, but,
“He approves right?” he asks worriedly.
Phil snickers, “Well,”
“It'll be difficult to prove worthiness as a neighbor because of your... government affiliations,” Techno says offhandedly.
Tubbo smiles sharply, “I'm always up for a challenge.”
Red eyes gleam, “Hmm, then I suppose we could try. You could participate in some traditional Piglin marriage customs, and see if you're really ready for marriage. Ah but, nah. They're probably too difficult for a child.”
That sounds unnecessarily baiting, and from Phil covering his mouth to hide his snickering Ranboo can deduce that Technos probably messing with him,
“Tubbo, you probably don't actually have to do that” he interjects.
“No no, I’m interested now.” oh boy.
“Good. then let's get started.” Techno gets up and starts heading towards the door without looking back, Tubbo takes his time getting up to follow after.
Ranboo watches them leave without a farewell. Slightly stunned, he runs his fingers through his hair, was it really okay to let them be on their own?
Phil doesn't seem bothered by it, focused returned to constructing more paper decorations. He’s pleasantly humming to himself like he wasn't the cause of Ranboo’s soon-to-be husband to be tested by the most ruthless friend he has.
“Phil! Why would you bring Techno to a wedding decorating party if you knew he didn't approve of the wedding!” he begs for an answer.
Phil shrugs, barely glancing up from his project “Eh, it's better for him to have time to figure this stuff out, instead of feeling like it's a betrayal later.”
Ranboo nods slowly to himself thinking it over, that reasoning does check out, “Sure okay yeah. But figure out what? He does know that we aren't planning on living together in the Arctic right? We are literally sitting in our house right here, in Snowchester.”
“You guys are still friends though, and you all will likely be hanging out and stuff as a group more. I think Techno just doesn't want to risk losing his anarchist identity by hanging out with government-affiliated people more often. Plus, he likes you. He wouldn't want Tubbo to take you away.”
Mmhm, that makes sense. He wouldn't want Techno to feel like he's replacing him with Tubbo. He loves the Syndicate and he loves Snowchester, he can't imagine picking one over the other. He was just planning on having a home and neighbors in the Arctic, and a husband and home in Snowchester.
“Well that's not going to happen. I can be friends with them both.” he assures Phil, “Though, Holding on so dearly to an anarchist identity a bit odd.”
Phil smiles lopsidedly reaching for more paper “Eh, he's more used to violently expressing ideas, talking them out he's at risk of losing. Better to let Tubbo and him figure it out their own way.”
Ranboo grimaces, that just seems like such a messy way of doing things.
“Wouldn't it be easier to just vote on whether Tubbo can be in the group, like with me and Nikki?”
Phil sighs and looks at Ranboo’s fingers tapping on the table, “It was my decision to bring you into the anarchist society, which I had every right to do, and Techno is actually quite fond of you now!” He added quickly seeing Ranboo’s insecure face “But, I would be pushing his limits by forcing Tubbo into the group with a majority vote. There would probably be more conflict that way.”
Phil sets down another finished white flower, not picking up the supplies for another, “Let's focus on something else, now that Tubbo is doing Piglin wedding customs did you have any ender traditions you wanted to participate in?”
Ranboo picks at a corner of the table, he doesn't really have any memories of his past. If he kept a memory book back then it's long lost now. But he does still have glimpses of memories if he focuses, and some of them give him warm happy feelings. That’s probably not enough to do what Phil's planning.
“Well, I only have vague memories of what could maybe be weddings. I'm not even sure if it's actually ender-traditions or anything.”
“Eh, no reason not to give it a try!” Phil claps his hands on the table energetically getting up. Huh, he seems pretty excited about this. Guess there's no harm in it, even if he can't remember much of his past exploring the happy parts with others could be fun.
“Okay sure! Don’t bachelor parties normally have multiple people? Should we invite others?”
Phil waves the suggestion off, “Nah, those nosey fuckers are attracted to shenanigans like young adults to a father figure.”
--
Tubbo doesn't regret not taking the out Ranboo gave him earlier. But following Technoblade (who not even like, a month ago was trying to kill him), completely alone into his home territory might contest for his top 5 dumbest decisions. However, he was already here in the nether, and any common celebration ritual can’t be impossible, plus it's good to experience other people's cultures.
Once they reach a clearing in a crimson fungal forest, Techno stops and turns to face Tubbo.
“Alright, there's three main tests that Piglins have for marriage. The first is a trial of wisdom.”
Oh good it's not physical, Tubbo’s good at wisdom stuff. Not that he doesn't think it won't be challenging, but... it's also a Piglin test of wisdom, and Tubbos a nuclear scientist sooo... He's comfortable keeping his expectations low.
Techno turns to points at a lone hoglin half-hidden by a red fungal tree “You must conquer this beast and offer its head to the universe.” he says with the confidence of a casual request. And not murdering a dangerous nether animal.
Tubbo scoffs indigently “How is this a test of wisdom?”
Techno pauses for a moment, his ear flicking in thought lazily tilting his head, “Wisdom on how to survive a hoglin attack.” he concludes. And if he wasn't saying it so monotony Tubbo would assume there was a question mark at the end of that sentence. But he has other issues to address right now,
He gestures to the hoglin, “If I attack that all its pals are going to hear and gang up on me!” Tubbo's feeling very much like this isn't a very well thought out tradition, or at least not suited for non-nether hybrids.
Techno rolls his eyes “Fine. Wisdom to survive a hoglin hoard” he amends as if that solves the issue, he crosses his arms “do you want to prove yourself or not?”
Tubbo grits his teeth “Fine.”
Techno and him don't really see eye to eye often. Techno’s a scary dude and for some reason doesn't seem to like Tubbo much, vague reasons of government or whatever. But maybe this marriage is an opportunity to show Techno that government can coexist with his little evil book club and he won't attack again. It would take a lot of stress off of Ranboo if he didn't have to worry about hiding government-related stuff anymore. So, yeah. He’s going to fight a hoglin. Ugh.
Tubbo watches the boar as he sneaks closer around the tree. And another perk, it would be really badass to prove himself by Piglin traditions. He feels a bit giddy at the thought of bragging to Tommy about it.
Once he’s crept close enough to hitting distance he considers his next move. This is a wisdom test right? So maybe there's a way to do this safely. If he kills it fast then he might not trigger the rest of its hoard, a critical hit from his axe is probably the only way to do that. He could fire an arrow but he's more likely to miss a vital spot than with the axe.
The hoglin is grunting pawing at the ground, probably to find whatever the nether equivalent to truffles is. He adjusts his grip on his axe. Then taking a breath to steady his nerves he leaps around the tree and strikes its tough back.
It squeals loudly as it kneels to the ground, one hit! “Yes!” he pumps his fist. He grins proudly, he’s about to turn back to Techno when he hears angry stomps of hoglins rapidly growing louder. He acts quickly, dropping his axe and scampering up the fungal tree. And it's a good thing he did because not seconds after a small hoard of nether boars surround the tree and their fallen friend. They huff and squeal menacingly and Tubbo climbs another branch higher.
The boars give up on him quickly and nudge the fallen one, who squeaks a bit then stands up. Tubbo gasps in disbelief. Seriously?! It wasn't even dead!? Dammit, he doubts that's going to count for the trial now. He loosens his grip on the branch while he watches the newly reunited hoglin family trudge off, but clutches it again when he's startled by Technos cackle.
“All those hoglins and you couldn't kill one? At this rate you won’t even make a decent husband! You're not even close to being at neighbor level.” he says as he casually walks over.
Tubbo huffs climbing down the tree, Gods he can be such a cretin, “Well then I guess it's a good thing that I don't want to be your neighbor, just live with Ranboo.”
Techno narrows his eyes, “Do you really think you're good enough for Ranboo? How are you going to protect him with those skills?”
Well fighting off hoglins is much easier with help, he tries not to express his annoyance on his face, “We have each other back.”
Technos leans into his space sneering “Oh so you'll pressure him to fight for your government again? We both know about the butcher army. What are you going to do when he doesn't want to? Leave him? Say he betrayed you?”
Techno pushes further, “What will you do when his anarchist values make him not want to fight? Will you just betray him at the first sign of different interests?”
No of course not! He's learned from last time, and he can appreciate Ranboo’s more centrist values. But it's not like he has proof of that so this conversation isn't going to go anywhere.
Tubbo picks up his axe and brushes past Techno, “Fuck off, let's just find another hoglin.”
He doesn't have to deal with this, Techno is obviously just using this as an opportunity to try and scare him off. Tubbo sighs, feeling judgmental eyes on his back. He’s just gotta complete the trials for Ranboo, then Techno won't be able to say anything and they can go back to the uneasy peace.
--
For the second trial, they stood at the terrace of an empty bastion above a vast ocean of lava. All along the sides the outside walls show melted damage from the intense rolling heat. The whole thing seems ready to crumble away at one blast from a ghast.
Tubbo watches as a chunk of dark stone crashes and bounces down the cliffside to meet a molton end. A probably very painful and horrible end... if it wasn't a rock of course. He wipes some sweat off his brow and brings his attention back to Techno.
“For the second trial, you’re to recite and repent history of governments controlling and taking advantage of people. To encourage equal power in your new unity and stuff,” he says boredly.
This is obviously a biased trial but Tubbo just feels a tension release in him “Oh good! I thought you were going to make me jump into the lava” he laughs in relief.
Techno hums and looks thoughtfully at the lava, then shakes his head “No. That would have been a good idea, but I don't think charred flesh is in style right now.” he jokes morbidly.
“Has it ever been? Nevermind. Alright recite the downfalls of government, gotcha.” He should just totally pander to Techno here so he can get this over with, “Uh when people give their rights to an organization someone in that organization could be corrupt.”
Techno nods “Yeah, and that power can also make people corrupt, they might not have been when they started. Then they turn into a vicious monster consumed by a greed for power.” Well that's not a personal comment at all.
“Right.. government is a person or group of people with the ability to govern a community or state… hm, govern a community.” Techno looks at him patiently, waiting for him to continue.
But actually... now that he thinks about it, he sorta wants to cause trouble.
“Techno, don't you govern a community?”
Techno sighs as deep as a parent whose toddler has been playing the ‘why’ game for hours, “The Syndicate isn't a government, anarchists can have friends.”
“No no, not that. I mean how you're kinda acting like a landlord by being the person who owns a property that other people live on. Which by itself isn't a government. But you are dictating what people can do on that property, how buildings can look, and who can come and go. Which is awfully similar to a homeowners association, also known as a type of government!” Check.
Techno creases his eyebrows “Hehh?? So caring about property value is a government now?!”
“And! Ranboo told me that he paid you tax in the form of an axe!” And mate, he's so good at chess. Ranboo said the axe was a gift but whatever, that detail doesn't matter to win this argument.
Techno huff in frustration “It's not a government. Everyone there is acting within their own free will and can leave anytime. Ranboo didn't even have to pay rent, it was voluntary.”
Tubbo hums smugly, he’s totally got this “I dunno man, how can you be sure he wasn’t coerced into it? Felt pressured by a pro-pvp authority figure that owns where he lives?”
Techno fumbles “I-I, it's not that way. We’re just neighbors.” he says defensively.
“Well, I might venture that his fiance might know more than a ‘neighbor’, I think you might want to evaluate your own tyrannical actions before criticizing others.”
Technos ears perk back and he stomps his foot, and Tubbo suddenly becomes very aware of how easy it would be to be pushed off the terrace. The heat from the lava causing frightening thoughts. Okay! Pushing buttons was fun for a bit but it's time to dip!
He laughs weakly, “ha ha, I think we should take a break before the last trial! Take a walk, check on Ranboo?” oh Gods please stop sounding so nervous. But luckily Techno seems merciful today. He nods sharply and Tubbo watches his cape flow dramatically as he leaves.
Yeah, like he’s going to do another trial after that horrible conversation. Techno does not have the communication skills to deal with the issues between them, they're just gonna have to get Phil or someone to help make him see how hypocritical and controlling he’s being.
He takes one more glance at the lava sea. Boy, he never wants to go to the nether again. Hopefully Ranboo is having a better time.
--
Ranboo was actually having a swell time. Phil and him had a nice walk over to the hotel district since the Bee&Boo seemed like a great place to do marriage celebrations. And on the way over they ran into Niki and Jack! Who were totally down to help, or in Jack's case, just didn't want to be left out. They were all being very good-humored about all this as he patiently waited for him to remember something.
His memories of celebrations were a bit messy to say the least, he mostly remembered the emotions. There had been bright colors, fog, dark gems, he supposes he would have been a bit young at the time, things felt bigger then. He remembers people in soft fabrics gazing into an eye of ender, and then looking into it himself. Why would they do that?
“I um, I think looking into an ender pearl is supposed to give you blessings for the future or something? I think it might take a while though.” He certainly remembers waiting a long time.
Even with that confession they all seemed on board to try it out. So in the lobby, they sat around in a circle and placed an ender eye on in the middle. Jack closed the curtains to dim the lights and Niki set some incense for ambiance. Then they stared. After a minute Phil brought out some paper and started folding it, no one else had that foresight for entertainment though.
The group was still in this state when Tommy wandered by, entering the lobby with an offended scoff, “What. You guys are hanging out without me?” he takes in the scene and frowns, “Is this some sort of cult thing?”
Phil places another finished origami flower to the side, not breaking eye contact with the ender eye, “We’re experimenting with some of Ranboos past memories to celebrate his marriage tomorrow, you should join.”
Jeez if Phil phrases it like Tommy will think he's being pressured to join. Tommy might be doing better after therapy with Puffy, but he still has trauma. Ranboo tries to smile politely in greeting, “You're welcome to join but you don't have to, I just thought it might be fun to do ender culture things.” he says to lessen the peer pressure. He knows he’d appreciate it if he was in Tommy's place.
Tommy jumps into the circle, “Nope I'll join! Party games are pog.”
They all stare into the eye, looking for any glimpses of anything. Tommy's leg starts bouncing after a couple minutes, a couple more and Jack is also looking around impatiently. And...the ground is quite uncomfortable, he didn't think this was a meditating type of thing. He tries to remember anything else about the memory.
Jack looks nervously at Ranboo concentrating on the pearl, “uh Ranboo, are you sure this is a wedding tradition? I don't think it's working.”
Ranboo winces, images of colorful tents sparks in his memory, “Okay so, actually I think this might have been just a cool trick I saw a carnival. Not a marriage custom haha”
Their groans almost cover Phil's full-hearted laugh.
Tommy stage whispers to Niki sitting beside him, “Niki, this is it. I'm seeing the future.”
Her brows furrow in skeptically, “Really? It’s working? What do you see?”
He makes a fist, “I'm going to punch Ranboo. That's what's going to happen.”
“Punch him?” she asks surprised.
“Fucking punch him!”
Phil grins with amusement at the drama, “well this was worth a try, you remember anything else?” Tommy glares accusingly at Phil for some reason. But Phil asked and Ranboo does think he remembers something else from a while ago.
“Hmm… oh! I think when the groom is born under a bad star, which who knows I could be, the groom can't accept the other groom until they watch Treasure Planet together- or wait. Maybe that was Fundys wedding? Guess we could just watch it a couple times to be safe.”
“No!” Tommy groans loudly, he leans forward from across the circle, “Ranboo. If I have to sit still and watch one more thing I am going to do something that will make tomorrow's wedding irrelevant!” he slashes his arm down forcefully. Well that's a bit dramatic, but he is getting a decidedly inauspicious feeling from his memories as well. Plus, he’s getting a bit tired of looking. He loves that his friends care enough to try with him though, that was good enough.
“Tommy, don't be mean” Phil scolds playfully.
Tommy looks vandalized, “I'm not being mean! You're the one encouraging this all! We could have just done normal wedding games!” His face looks funny when it pouts, Ranboo shares a knowing smile with Niki.
The sound of the hotel doorbell chiming draws Ranboo’s attention. Oh! It's his favorite bee dude.
“Hey Tubbo! Welcome back! How did the trials go?” he greets.
Tubbo looks over the odd circle they're sitting in, “Oh yeah they went really well, still one more I guess. But what are you guys doing?” his voice sounded a bit too forcefully pleasant. Hopefully he’s just a bit tired and the rituals actually went okay.
“We’re celebrating weddings!” Niki cheerfully said at the same time Jack grumbles “Being bullied by Phil.” causing Phil to start laughing again at the ire.
Ranboo’s glad he’s having a good time. Tubbo should get to do fun stuff too, “Do you have any wedding traditions you want to do? Or we can keep making crafts'' Ranboo asks.
“Hmm I think we might have enough crafts actually “ he eyes the flower pile next to where Phil’s sitting, “But hanging out seems fun!”. Yeah! Maybe they can play duck duck goose since most people are already in a circle, or do a murder mystery!
They all look when the doorbell chimes again, Technos enters, he looks like the big bear in goldilocks coming in expecting something to be wrong. There isn't. Niki and Phil wave in greeting, his shoulders relax and he awkwardly waves back.
Hmm, Techno loves playing games, loves winning games, which he does often. He’d probably enjoy celebrations now that he and Tubbo are doing better, “Hey Techno do you want to hang out?”
“Ah, I'm actually here to get Tubbo for the last ritual”. Oh right, need to get those done. The grind never ends haha.
Tubbo glares, moving out of the doorway to stand beside where Ranboo’s sitting, “Actually I'm done with the trials, they kinda suck. Not worth doing. I'm busy now.”
Techno chuckles to himself, “Yeah busy nurturing a bruised ego. Come on I have a good one”
“No. How about you leave and find someone else to pick on?” Tubbo said with serious finality.
Techno glares, “Fine. Then I guess you actually don't want to be neighbors. We’ll see if you ever come by again without taking your own legs as souvenirs when you leave.” he threatens darkly, then brushes right back out the door.
Holy crap that was violent. Ranboo whips his head to look at Phil, who seems completely unconcerned, gluing pieces of scrap paper on Tommys back while talking pleasantly with Niki. Well, guess the situation isn't too bad then, though Ranboo’s getting the feeling that Phil might not be taking any of this as seriously as he maybe should.
He sees a flash of Tubbo's green shirt run into the hotel hallway and rises to follow it. Tubbo and Techno fought much more harshly just then than they did that morning, Tubbo was much blunter, and Techno not nearly as humoring. Something must have gone wrong earlier.
“Tubbo wait!” he shouts grabbing the tail of a sleeve, “What happened in there?” he takes his hand gently in his.
Tubbos already riled up but he must read some emotion on his face because he narrowed his eyes, “You're upset... At me?”
“Well no, of course not I wouldn't be." He quickly comforts, "But I thought you and Techno were trying to make up?”
Tubbo scoffs and pulls his hand away, “Not anymore.”
Jeez, that bad huh? Ranboo cringes thinking about the future interactions they'll all have, “It's going to be really awkward at the wedding if you guys don't figure this out, are you sure it’s not going to work? Could you try again?”
Tubbo flips his hands in exasperation, “Ugh! Well it isn't only on me! He's too unwavering, if you care so much just figure it out yourself or hell, go to Phil!”
Ranboo winces at the tone, yeah he definitely said something wrong there, “Phil's intervention would just make Techno feel cornered, and I wouldn't want to hurt him like that, Techno is my friend too.” He says, thinking of Phil's earlier argument.
The reasoning doesn't seem to satisfy Tubbo as it had him though, “If Techno matters so much to you then you can just marry him instead. He shouldn't even have anything to do with our marriage, it was supposed to be between us, not the Syndicate.”
He storms off, leaving Ranboo stunned in the hallway. What was he supposed to do? He always wants to choose people, but is not choosing causing this problem? Poor Tubbo, he’s not having a good time at all. This marriage is just hurting his friends, it's not worth fighting over some stupid title.
He hears a cough from behind him and turns to see Tommy peaking out behind a hallway corner, “Okay I know this looks bad but I didn't eavesdrop! I just know exactly what was said.” he says.
“Oh.”
“And well, I know Tubbo, ya know?” he shrugs, but his eyes hold purpose when he adds “And you've made a mistake here.”
“I know.” he says in understanding, “we shouldn't have tried to get married, it's just causing unnecessary tension. It was better before when we were all friends and it didn't matter if the friend groups interacted.”
Tommy leans against the wall, “Tubbo and Techno are both very fighty, sure. But Tubbo is my best friend, so if you want to take the next step in your friendship with him... you can't! Because I'm not being fucking replaced. The only other position close enough to best friend is husband.” and okay yeah that's fair. But,
“I just don't think all this fighting is worth some title, it doesn't really have any effect on our relationship.”
“Sure, that title might not actually mean anything when you think about it too hard, but the significance comes from having someone to share it with. I would never give up being Tubbos best friend.” A short pause of thought follows this statement, then begins again, “Despite all the sacrifices, all the pain. Tubbo and I have never regretted being best friends. Not once. The conflict of relationships is worth it. Tubbo is worth it. Hell, Techno is worth it. Jack, Phil, Ghostbur, everyone. They're what makes life more than just a video game of dialogue.”
That's a really sweet thing for Tommy to say, but still… “I know I can be a bit weak-willed, but I promised I wouldn't pick sides anymore. I'm not going to betray anyone over an unnecessary marriage.”
Tommy rubbed his face and sighs, “Look, I’m not telling you to pick Tubbo over Techno, L’manberg knows how that would go. But you do need to support your husband. There are differences between Techno and Tubbo that are going to take a while for them to understand. Me and Techno are still working on it. Those two don't need the pressure of figuring it all out by tomorrow, if they want to be friends, they'll figure it out on their own time.
“But, if you want to be friends with people then you need to be prepared to stand your ground for them, even if it temporarily goes against other friends. Even if it's horribly un-fun to do. Because it's part of being more than acquaintances or friends, you're going to be husbands.”
“Yeah, I think you might be right. I guess, I mean, I do really want to get married.” Plus, there's actually still a lot of perks to it, “I’d really love to get the tax benefits.” He mumbles in a half-whisper.
Tommy shakes his head in disbelief “Your relationship is so particular. I don't know what you even do. Are you an accountant? A sleeper agent? Nevermind.” He pats Ranboo’s shoulder “I know you're a good man. And you make Tubbo happy now, so you'll probably keep making Tubbo happy. I look forward to the wedding. And I guess being a best friend in law.”
“Thanks Tommy, I'll go talk to Tubbo now.” he watches Tommys back as he leaves, oh! “You have paper glued on your back” he shouts, Tommy reaches around and grabs a handful.
“I wha?- Argh! Phil!” he angrily stomps back off to the lobby.
--
Tubbo had found a quiet room to sit and think in. If anyone comes here expecting he's thinking to cool off then jokes on them, a person is capable of both sulking and simmering in anger. This is actually the best combination of emotions for spiteful brainstorming, Techno better watch out.
The door gently creaks open behind him, Ranboo hesitantly enters the room, “Tubbo! I’m glad I found you” he fidgets with his sleeve, “I uhm, I wanted to say that I'm sorry. You don't have to make up with Techno right now, I didn't mean to pressure you guys, we can figure it out slowly and just get married without his approval.”
“I don't know Ranboo, Technos just so uncompromising! Even if we don't have to make up now we will be interacting again at some point if we get married. And I don't want to be the one to compromise all my morals and beliefs, which is what's going to happen because he just threatens me whenever I try to make progress!” he gets up and crosses the room, he needs some air, “Techno and the Syndicate aren't going to try and understand me, it's not worth it.” He leaves the room, he needs to be in a different headspace before he can talk to Ranboo again.
He knows Ranboo meant well but he doesn't understand what it's going to mean to marry him. Techno and the whole anarchist Syndicate are just going to keep butting their heads into his business. He saw them all playing party games together, there's no way he could join them if he's constantly having to defend his beliefs.
And it's just insulting to have to apologize for wanting a government. He's already making amends for the last one that got out of hand, he doesn't have to do a complete 180 and say no government is right at all. Government has its place, it offers community, protection, resources. Tubbo’s not wrong here, government is natural and not always bad! And it makes him feel so frustrated that people always expect him to change because he’s seen as more of a pushover. He's not!
And Ranboo’s just no help at all, getting overwhelmed and injecting acute embarrassment into every pore of himself. It's not fair that Tubbo has to deal with this himself, he's nervous too but that doesn't mean he avoids all conflict.
In fact, he can be the most conflict guy ever. If being peaceful doesn't keep people away then maybe it's time to change tactics. Ranboo wouldn't have to worry about fighting if no one had the power to oppose him.
It’s in his head like this that he bumps into Jack turning a hotel corner. Whoops. Oh but this is perfect!
He excitedly grabs Jack's shoulders “Jack I need your help. I'm going to make the biggest government ever and it's going to be protected by nukes. Then I can do what I want without any possible threats. You're in, right?”
Jack holds up his hands, “Woah woah, normally I'd be down but I feel like this might be a bit extreme for a platonic wedding.”
Tubbo shakes his head, “It's not. If Ranboo and I are going to be together then we can't have the Syndicate breathing down our necks at every turn.”
Jack winces, is he seriously going to disagree? “Tubbo, you knew that Ranboo was basically adopted by the Syndicate, you knew he helped Techno on Doomsday and that he’s living in the Arctic. If the Syndicate being a part of your life really bothered you then you never would have been friends with him in the first place. 'Cause it doesn't take a detective to realize that marrying him would mean more anarchist interactions.”
“Dammint. I did know that… but that doesn't mean I approved of Techno's actions. I'm not going to apologize for something I'm not wrong about, I know I'm not completely in the right, but he's wrong too and should own up to his hurtful actions.” Tubbo challenges.
“Someone has to make the first move to find mutual agreement. And well, you're the one being a threat to Technos beliefs and friendships. Now I'm not saying that you have to tell him he's completely right, but someone has to make the first step to common ground and frankly, you're the one with more at stake here. You want to marry one of his closest friends. And you want a relationship with him where you aren't attacking each other. ”
Ugh! Tubbo chews his lip, Jack's kinda making sense. Techno isn't in the right, but Tubbo does want to be friendlier with him. Not just for Ranboo’s anxiety, it's also been stressful for himself being in this much conflict of values. And dammit, Jack's probably right that Techno isn't going to make the first move, he's just too defensive. Man. He's gonna have to try again with Techno, isn't he? But this time maybe he can figure out why he's such a jerk.
Tubbo runs his hand through his hair, “I didn't mean for my friendship with Ranboo to mean friendship with terrorists.” Jacks looking at him sympathetically, he feels like he should elaborate, “I had plans for government, ya know? For protection. But Ranboo stayed in my life even after my mistakes and has been a truly good friend.”
Jack nods, “Nuking his other friends out of your love for him isn't going to make him happy. What you're doing is hard though, and I think he knows that.”
Tubbo chuckles, “When did you become so wise? What happened to the Jack that would have never given up a chance for revenge huh?”
Jack bashfully ducks his head, grinning “I guess he grew up a bit”
“I supposed I must have as well”
“So, are you still going to get married tomorrow?”
“I think I was mostly just mad, I'll talk to Ranboo again now that I'm feeling better. Plus, how would I pursue my dream of becoming an adulteress if I'm not married?”
Jack pushes his shoulder playfully, “Ugh, you guys and your fuck up goals, perfect for each other”
--
He found Techno still in L’manberg area, though he seemed to be on his way out as they’re just about next to the community house construction site. Tubbo can see roofs of other builds from over the lake, church prime close by. But he didn't pay much attention to the scenery as his loud footsteps caused Techno to quickly turn around to face him. He seemed a bit caught off guard but quickly covered it with a sneer.
“Oh? Come to try again? I thought you were giving up. Well, the next task is fighting ravagers while I throw wither heads at you”
“Ravagers aren't even native to the nether!- ugh never mind. I'm still not doing the trials. I've just come to talk to you.” Tubbo said.
Techno grimaces, “Ew, that's pretty cringe. My idea will be marginally more entertaining.”
“Yeah well this will be marginally more helpful.” and a tiny bit less deadly.
“Hm. I'll be sure to take this with the utmost seriousness then,” he says rolling his eyes.
Ignore him. He just has to ask what he really wants to ask, even if the answer might be dreadful. Or get a violent answer, he notes as Techno taps his foot impatiently. Man he should have thought about what he was going to say before coming, but... It's just…ugh, “Why don't you like me?”
Techno flips his braid over his shoulder, “Cause your government, duh. Okay ready to fight a ravager now? I think I saw a raid a couple miles out.” he annoyingly circumvents
“Common dude, you like Ranboo and he’s chill with government. So what's your deal?” he's not going to let this conversation be thrown away by witty one-liners again. It's even more obnoxious now that it’s obviously to avoid this conversation.
“Mhm, you're going to need to have a friendship level five before backstory can be unlocked. Really doesn't matter here anyway, you just aren't neighbor material.”
“It does matter! It matters to me.” Techno looks confused by his outburst. Oh man, this is the part where he talks about his feelings right? He shakes out his clenched fists and tries to steady his breath.
“You scare me, okay? You obviously don't like me or my lifestyle, you have the power to hurt me and you've used it to do just that! You make me feel unsafe, okay?!.”
Techno looks uncomfortable, “Well.. your pvp skills aren't really my problem. Maybe you should try focusing on that instead of running corrupt governments that eat basic human rights for breakfast.” he seems confused, but there are definitely frustrated undertones there. Like earlier that day when Tubbo was picking for a fight, that time, pushing back and defending government didn't work. This time he’s got to try and reach for the underlying problem. If Techno won't say why he doesn't like him then he’ll just have to assume why. And he can probably guess, since there's really only one thing Tubbo's personally done against him.
“I do regret the way that L’manberg worked out. And I'm sorry that it hurt people and... I'm sorry that it hurt you.” He knows he's not going to get an apology back, but... that execution did go too far. And he knows it stressed Techno out, trapping Phil, taking Carl. So Tubbo doesn't feel out of place owning up to that mistake.
Techno looks irritated, “Then why are you making another one?” He didn't exactly stomp his foot or yell, but the way he said it was doing both of those things, “If you understand that what you did was wrong why would you do it again…? I don't get it!”
Tubbo's voice wavered, how was he supposed to frame this? “I don't, I don't think that government was the problem.” he tries to reason, “It's just people gathered together to keep themselves safe. We can't survive alone, and I don't want to.”
Techno shakes his head, “It's just going to leave people vulnerable. You won't be safe because the threat will be the very people you trusted for protection: The government. People in power will always hurt others, it corrupts them.”
Okay okay, but at least he’s talking right? Is that the common ground Jack told him to look for? Do they actually both want to keep people safe? Techno always seems to act really rashly with only revenge in mind. However.. he supposes he does that too, when trying to protect against ruthless outside forces. Maybe... They're both worried about powerful people hurting others.
“Well… that person holding all the power over the people is right here.” He points at himself, “And I'm not corrupt yet so… Maybe you could help me keep people safe?” He asks to test his theory, “Maybe you can help me not run into the deep end again. Be distant from the government but let me know when things are turning sour. That's what your Syndicate group is for right? Helping people? Maybe it could offer some support to governments before they go corrupt, instead of uprooting everyone after the harm has already happened. We could keep people safe together? Or at least try.” oh yikes what the hell is he doing offering to work together?! But it's out there now. At least he can tell Ranboo he actually tried.
Techno focuses on a spot in the distance, jaw-tight. His shoulders deflate, “... you really like Ranboo huh?” He says, rather like the wind has left his sails.
Tubbo feels the tightness in him leave at the passive response, “Is it really that oblivious his people-before-sides value rubbed off on me?” he smiles kindly thinking about it, “But yeah, I really love him.”
Techno gives a lopsided smile in turn, “He kinda softens me up too.” A short pause followed this, his contemplative look replaced by the more normal aloof one, he meets Tubbos eyes, “Okay, I’ll put a pin in what you've said. Menton it to the Syndicate, maybe. I dunno how it'll go over, you know how much Niki hates being nice and working with others.” he jokes. Tubbo feels a bit too stunned to make a coherent response.
Techno tosses a hand wave casually over his shoulder as he walks away, he says “Well, guess I’ll see ya at the wedding tomorrow.”
Oh wow. That went so much better than he thought. He has no idea what it would mean to have the Syndicate helping, but... it's at least a start to more open conversations.
--
The next day finds all persons gathered at the Church of Prime to celebrate the marriage of two good friends and the beginning of new friendships.
Tubbo started a simple vow, “You've always supported me and my goals. I couldn't imagine building a better future without you there with me.”
“I may not remember much of my past family, but I'm thrilled to make a new one with you, new memories with you, forever. I’ll stand by you.” Said Ranboo.
After Ranboo and Tubbo recite their vows, Tommy pronounces them married, they conclude with a celebratory high five.
At reception Techno and Phil take them aside. Techno fiddles with a paper flower “A marriage is a fickle delicate thing, influenced by internal and outside drama. But um, to this day, no one can oppose a friendship forged through love...” he looks fondly at Phil, “Not even me. So, may your marriage be short, and your friendship longer.”
“Thank you Techno, for saying that, I'm glad things worked out,” says Ranboo.
Techno fumbles on his words awkwardly, “W-well, you know. Tubbo's is part of the neighborhood now so- ow!” Phil nudges Technos arm “er- part of the Syndicate family”, Niki gives a thumbs up from further back.
Tubbo smiles “Thanks Techno.” he puffs his chest, “You have to admit, I did pretty well in those Piglin trials for someone who’s not nether born.”
Techno pauses confused, “Huh? Piglin? Oh right. ha! No, I'm a pig hybrid. I was messing with you” he cackles and catches Phil's fist bump, who's laughing heartily as well.
“I don't even think Piglins get married! Still looking forward to those Ravengers later though, see ya around.”
Tubbo groans to Ranboo “God what a jerk. Do you you think he’s really going to make me fight a ravager?”
“I have no idea.” Ranboo laughs.
“Well, I’m just glad we can be together with normalcy for change.”
Ranboo looks vaguely in the direction of Snowchester, “Haha, me too… unless..”
Huh? “Unless?”
“Well.. since you're so into Piglin culture now,,, What would you think about adopting a Piglin child that I might have found on the way over here and is already in our house?”
Oh jeez.