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English
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Things to fuel my escapism.
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Published:
2021-05-22
Completed:
2022-07-07
Words:
31,848
Chapters:
8/8
Comments:
141
Kudos:
483
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9,309

war makes high school 1000% funnier

Summary:

Tommy's doing crime, Wilbur's on a power trip, Techno's off farming potatoes, and Phil just wants a black coffee. In an effort to escape boredom, Tommy and Wilbur challenge king-of-the-school Dream and his possy of evildoers, accidentally dragging their dysfunctional family and even more dysfunctional friend group into a high school war that spans debate club, mock elections, a theatre production, and even brawls on the cafeteria floor. Tubbo brings the bloodthirst, Ranboo brings the reason, and all Dream wants is his rival to hurry up and be his friend already.

Welcome to DSMP High (very creative name, I know).

Losing a canon life is now “getting suspended”. Permadeath is “getting expelled”, and revival is “the principal got bribed to revoke your expulsion”. This is a retelling of the Dream SMP lore, but in the form it was always meant to be... High School Warfare.

Chapter 1: Guide to the AU

Chapter Text

GUIDE TO THE AU
(think of this page as a FAQ! it’s not necessary to understand the fic, and feel free to skip it!)

Hello! Author here. Welcome to the fic that I started writing as a joke and then couldn’t stop.

I don’t know how frequent the updates will be but I will try my best to keep this work ongoing since I know how sad it is to find out a fic you were reading got discontinued!!

Here’s how the AU works - it takes place over one year of high school at DSMP High (very creative name, I know). The events of the Dream SMP have been translated into stupid, meaningless high school squabbles, while the rest of the high school watches the events of the SMP unfold with a mixture of boredom and horror. Are Dream and Techno fistfighting on the floor of the cafeteria? Yeah yeah, they’ve seen this shit a thousand times before. The members of the Dream SMP are seriously invested in their high school conflicts and think the world revolves around them… but nobody in the school even knows who they are.

There will be a few minor canon divergences, so think of this as a loose retelling of the SMP rather than a stream-by-stream translation of it. Losing a canon life is now “getting suspended”. Permadeath is “getting expelled”, and revival is “the principal got bribed to revoke your expulsion”. Netherite armour = limited edition Blood God merch. Factions such as L’Manberg, Snowchester, the Eggpire etc. are friend groups and group chat names. The story will mainly focus on SBI, Dream, Tubbo, Ranboo, and Quackity, although other arcs such as the Egg Arc will still be relevant (just not as thoroughly fleshed out). The chapters will focus around the perspective and opinions of individual characters, so take the narration with a grain of salt!

Characters
9th Grade - Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo, Purpled
10th Grade - Jack, Fundy, Niki, Quackity, Ponk, Foolish
11th Grade - Bad, Skeppy, Ant, Puffy, Sapnap, Karl, Punz
12th Grade (seniors) - Dream, Techno, George, Wilbur, Eret
Teachers - Mr. Schlatt, Mr. Sam (detention)
Vice Principal - Ms. Drista
Principal - Mr. XD

SBI Family Dynamic is canon in this AU (Philza is an adoptive father)! There will be no romantic relationships, although Tubbo and Ranboo might still get married as a joke. Also I’m a big rivalstwt fan so I made Dream and Techno’s friendship very plot relevant (the duel is DEFINITELY canon… in fact I’ve already written it). And one final reminder - this fic is based on characters, not ccs.

Leave a comment on the fic and win my everlasting love? Perhaps? Feel free to offer ideas of how to adapt things!

Enjoy :)

Zeroblade