Chapter Text
The house was too quiet.
Paper thin walls that used to let shouts through now sat idle, only left to echo the footsteps of the house. Two children walked with light footsteps, making as little sound as possible. The third refused to keep his steps light, perhaps out of spite, or something else. The only adult of the house walked as if flames were beneath his feet. Perhaps they were
Fuyumi Todoroki walked with light footsteps to the kitchen. Her feet stepped over a rug, beside the stove that a pot boiled upon. Her movements were automatic, going through the actions of preparing dinner from memory. Her mind was focused on the work that she had due the next day and the dust collecting in corners that she had to clean.
Her head wasn’t clear anymore. As she boiled the pot of water she wondered if her mother had felt that way, but she wouldn’t succumb to it. Instead she continued to make dinner for a family which had fallen apart years ago.
Shouto had already come home from school, though he hadn’t paid her any mind as he walked straight to the training room. It was the noisiest part of the house, but none of it reached the halls. It was the only room with thick walls, ones which Fuyumi was envious of. Shouto never paid her much mind when he walked in, so she didn’t make a fuss of it. Not even when her heart squeezed at the happy family which she still yearned for. She’d long learned that it was unachievable.
A door opened, and for a moment her hands stiffened on the knife she was using to chop vegetables with. She listened carefully for the boom of footsteps, but all she heard was the light shutting of the front door and the quiet steps that she’d come to recognize. Natsu was home.
She avoided calling out to him, to keep him from getting distracted from homework. Her own homework was still in her bag, but it would wait for when she finished the household duties she bound herself to do.
She rushed to finish dinner, completing it and making two bowls for her and her brother. The rest would wait to be served when the two who actually ate at the table would eat, and she wasn’t there for that. Instead she picked up her school bag off of the floor she’d dropped it on when she got home, carrying two bowls down the wide hallway.
Her eyes drifted to a firmly shut door, before quickly wandering away as she managed to maneuver her way just past it. She leaned against a different door three times as a sort of knock, waiting for it to open. Natsu was there, still in his soccer uniform and with a pencil in his hands. She mustered up the best smile she could manage, but she worried that he was beginning to see through it.
They sat on the floor and ate as she helped him with his homework. It was their sort of tradition, their way of comforting each other in the house where there was no comfort. It had been four years, yet nothing ever brought solace for the lack of two family members.
Fuyumi left, even as Natsu protested and tossed out arguments about how much work she was doing. She heard the same arguments everyday as she cleaned up dinner and prepared to clean the reaches of the house that she hadn’t gotten the day before.
She had the time for the chores, considering that there were no friends for her to make social plans with. Though, part of the reason she had no friends was due to her home responsibilities. It all carried back to itself. She mindlessly cleaned the house, until the moment that the front door opened with a slam.
The cleaning supplies were picked up quickly and she hurried to her room, promising to herself that she’d finish dinner earlier the next day to manage to get the rest of the halls clean. At some point she’d spread her homework across the floor, but she could only stare at it.
The routine was exhausting. It was the work of a mother, one she’d been doing since before her mother left. Touya once helped her, and carried the burden, but he had been gone. She still missed him so much, and not just because of the assistance. She spent a long while working on her homework, trying to make sense of the numbers and questions. She’d signed up for more classes than necessary, something to help her eventually get out of their house. Only once Natsu and Shouto were safe, however.
Eventually the sun went down, and she was still working. Her attention hadn’t been on the teacher in class, and she was paying for it. Though, she wouldn’t let her grades slip from the high position she kept them in. She couldn’t afford to.
At some point she laid back, resisting the urge to throw her pencil and setting it down calmly instead. She wondered what Touya would have been doing that moment if he hadn’t died. He never assisted her with her homework, she was helping him half of the time. He never did his, anyways.
He was always too focused on becoming a hero, despite the damage it caused. She hated it. Though, as the younger sister there was nothing she could do. She tried, but it was for naught. Sometimes, when she really dug herself into her head and couldn’t get out, she wished that somehow it had been her instead of him.
Finally, she finished her homework. The clock showed it was nearly midnight, but she still had one task for the day. She got into her pajamas and let her hair down, hoping for some sort of comfort. Then, with her silent footsteps she stepped to the door that was shut tightly. It was close to Natsu’s, so she was extra careful to be quiet.
She flipped the light switch, letting on the light that desperately needed a new bulb. It hardly illuminated the dark room, but she was okay with that. It made it easier to see the photo propped on the small bench in the center. Slowly her and Natsu had collected candles for the small shrine, and after three years they had an impressive collection. Touya would have hated it, she thought with a sad smile.
She didn’t have the ability to create fire herself, so instead she grabbed the lighter that she bought— with a very strange look from the cashier— and lit the incense and some of the candles.
It was there that she let herself loose her calm composure. She kept it all day, keeping to her head and not letting her thoughts wander too deep. Instead she acted as a robot, going through her step by step day and making sure not to step out of line.
Here, she fell out of the kneeling position and onto her knees. Tears escaped her eyes, though she let no sound come out. The tears were for her dead older brother, and her mother who was locked away in a hospital for an honest mistake. Fuyumi assumed that she’d simply tried to put Touya out, grabbing the nearest water source. Except it had been Shouto, and the nearest water source was a boiling pot of water. She paid the price for the mistake.
Fuyumi cried for the happy family she always wanted. Like how students at school talked about, dinners and family game nights and even arguments. Not the type of arguments she was accustomed to, however, she knew that. Lighthearted things about curfews and tv-time, not the treatment or death of a child or disappearance of a mom.
She cried for her brother, Natsu, who she was trying desperately to keep afloat. She’d gone forward when Touya died, and together they propped each other up. Except, for some reason, even as she was able to continue supporting everyone else, it no longer did the same for her. It was just another long thing to add onto the list of guilt.
Her brother Shouto, not even ten, was just going to sleep. He had been training, horribly. Fuyumi cried for how she couldn’t do anything about it, and the fact that she wasn’t brave enough to even say a word to her father. She once cried a lot, and that was enough, but after Touya left the walls only grew, despite their thinness.
Some selfish part of her mind still let her cry for herself. For the lack of social life, and constant chore that was her life. She squeezed her eyes tight, blocking out the unhappy photo of Touya from her vision. Her hand was over her mouth, trying desperately to keep any sound from escaping. She wished it was her instead of Touya, for he could be so much braver than she was. He could stand up to father, maybe do something for Shouto, maybe even mother. He had something she didn’t, and that was determination, but also the attention from birth that kept it going.
Things would have been much better if it was him instead of her, and she squeezed her nails into her palms wishing it had happened like that. No matter how, no matter what difference, she simply wished with her whole heart. Wishes didn’t come true, she’d learned that the hard way.
Yet. A slight ring sounded through her ears, and suddenly, she was no longer on the ground of Touya’s old room. She felt as if she’d been thrown against a wall, and her nails were no longer digging into her palms. She opened her eyes, and she was outside.
She knew where she was, she recognized the area painfully well. It had been where Touya burned himself to ash. Then, she noticed the ice around her, like a jagged ring. And finally, the freezing feeling kicked in. Her hands were shaking, and the skin was simply peeling off along them.
She didn’t know what happened. She wondered if she’d walked up on her own and blanked out. It had happened a few times before, but not on such a scale. Besides, she didn’t use her quirk ever. It was dangerous and not fit for her body, and she had no use for it.
That didn’t explain why she had obviously used more ice than she had in her life, and was in Touya’s death spot. Except, the trees were still there and the ground wasn’t scorched. Her hands went to her head, wondering if she was dreaming. Despite the shaking in her arms and legs she attempted to pull herself up, looking around.
She was still herself, and she was in her pajamas. Her shaking hands moved around pointlessly, matching her rapid breathing. She was convinced she was dreaming. She didn’t know what happened.
She saw the path to her house, but she didn’t want to go. If she was dreaming then it didn’t matter. If she made such a mess then she didn’t want to see her fathers face at the strange usage of her quirk. She had no explanation or reasoning.
Instead, she walked the other way. She was on a sort of hill, and she went down the other clear route. The trees were all still there, but as far as she knew they were burnt down with Touya. She’d seen it with her own eyes, so there was no explanation for why the trees were now in front of her face.
Her foot caught on a branch and she fell face first down the hill, her skin still freezing and more of it scratching right off with her fall. She swore for a moment that she smelled ash, and the burning of flesh. She had no clue what was happening.