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Tommy had never been one for self searching.
He was a completely heterosexual man, no ifs ands or buts about it.
Just... A late bloomer. That's all.
Or, well, so he'd thought.
His chat had a large portion of LGBTQIA+ members in it, so he started doing research pretty early on to make sure he didn't get anything wrong.
He got a grip on most of the well-known ones pretty quickly, if he does say so himself. Donos would ask him if he supported, and he could confidently say he did. One day, though, someone donated a few pounds and asked if he could say ace aro rights.
"Let me Google that one real quick, chat." He grabbed his phone, pulling up a new tab. Humming lightly, Tommy scrolled through the definitions. He blinked at how familiar the descriptions were, before remembering he had an audience and grinning. "Hell yeah ace aro rights!"
Chat cheered, spamming flag emotes and happy exclamations.
After the stream ended, he clicked back into the page.
"Asexuality, or ace, is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity." Tommy read aloud, sitting on the edge of his bed. "Asexual individuals may represent about 1 percent of the population." That... Hm. That sounded like him. "Aromantic, or aro, is a romantic orientation that describes experiencing little to no romantic attraction to any genders. Aromantic as an identity by itself means experiencing no romantic attraction however there is a spectrum of other identities experiencing attraction under specific circumstances/differently to the norm."
He took a deep breath. Was he...? It sounded like his experience, sure, but he's probably just not mature enough or whatever. Sure, his friends had been talking about crushes and love since primary school, but it was possible he had a crush and just didn't didn't realise, right? ...Right?
But the labels felt... Fitting. Like a pair of socks tailored just for him.
"Ace aro," he whispered, into the darkness of his room, staring at the moon through his curtains. "I'm ace aro."
And he smiled.
___
First things first, he has to try and come out. He debated talking to his parents, but ultimately decided that he'd mention it if they asked him about bringing a date home. He's not a coward, they just never brought it up! So, he'd tell one of his online friends.
And now, here he was, the next morning, hands shaking and a pit growing in his chest, thinking of every little thing that could go wrong. Tommy sniffled, burying his face in his pillow. He was being so stupid it's just a conversation he has one of those with his friends every morning - hell he had one with Tubbo and Ranboo not two hours ago!
Yet part of him keeps whispering about how it's all just a phase, he'll look stupid once he's proven wrong, his parents will tell him he's mistaken even if he knows he isn't, they'll treat him differently, they'll kick him onto the streets and he won't be able to stream, they'll tell him he's being a fucking idiot and grabbing fake labels for attention, his friends will tell him their support of the community was just for clout and that they don't want to know someone who's a part of it, everyone will tell him he's wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong because he is and he's lying and they'll know-
"Okay, maybe I don't tell them?" Tommy muttered, wiping the tears off his face. But no, that felt worse. He couldn't lie to them! "Maybe... I'll just tell Wilbur. We're like brothers, right?" He could almost hear the 'Don't say that, I will cry' shot back in response.
"Right!" He clapped his hands to his cheeks, hard enough to ground himself but not hard enough to leave a proper mark. "I'll go grab some water and then I can call Wilbur."
Five minutes later, an empty cup on his dresser and a phone in his hand, he had a choice to make. Was he going to back out or go through?
Tommy took a deep breath, and before he could second-guess himself, hit call.
"What's up, Toms?"
"Heya Wilbur! You're not live, are you?" He'd checked already, but it was good to make sure.
"No, I'm just editing at the moment," Wilbur responded, sounding confused. "Is something wrong?"
"Not quite, I just- how do I say this, uh... I wanted to tell you something?" Internally, he screamed at how awkward he sounded. "Nothing bad! Don't worry!"
"Alright," Wilbur said, sounding concerned despite Tommy's reassurances. "If you're nervous, you can always call back-"
"I wanted to come out," he spat out hurriedly, continuing before Wilbur could get a word in. "Um- aromantic asexual. Double A batteries. AA. All that jazz."
Silence rang out over the call, and Tommy winced. Wilbur definitely hated him now, he was sure of it- "Toms that's awesome!" Wilbur exclaimed, sounding genuinely happy. "I'm really glad you were brave enough to tell me!"
Tommy scoffed. "Of course I was brave enough, I'm a big man. Not scared of anything, y'know." He ignored how much of a blatant lie that was, his hands still shaking from left over fear. "You're not- you're not gonna like, tell everyone or anything, right?"
"No I'd never, don't worry Toms," Wilbur didn't even sound mad that Tommy had suggested he might not be trustworthy, just had this same gentle tone, with a note of pride - ha, pride - and pure joy. "That's so fucking cool - do you have flags 'n such already?"
"I'm not exactly... Out of the closet, Wilby." Tommy deadpanned, pretending he hadn't slipped up with the nickname. "You're um- you're the first person I've told, actually."
"Oh my goodness Tommy I was the first person you came out to?" Wilbur sounded choked up, and Tommy flailed for a moment, wondering what he'd done wrong. "Toms- that's- I'm so happy you trusted me-"
"No duh I trust you, we're like brothers, right?"
"Don't say that, I will cry." He called it! "...But yeah, we're brothers." Tommy stiffened at the lack of 'like'. Tears welled up in his eyes all over again, and a half laugh half sob left him as he curled in on himself.
"You're very poggers, Big Dubs." He managed, grinning uncontrollably. "Thank you, seriously."
"Anytime, Toms," Wilbur promised, sounding ridiculously soft and sappy, his smile audible. "Love you."
"Love you too, Wilby. I'm gonna go see about getting a flag or two now."
"Hey, if it's not too much to ask - hold off on getting one for now?" Tommy froze. Was this where Wilbur told him he'd been too hasty in proclaiming himself ace aro? "I kinda want to get you one, if that's alright."
"That," Tommy said, his grin returning despite his best efforts, beaming through his tears. "Would be so fucking cool."
___
Tommy waited patiently until Philza was online, before politely spamming him.
TomathyInsideIt
Philza
Philza
Philza
Mr Minecraft
Old Man
Philza
Philza
Creator of Minecraft itself
Philza Minceraft
What do you want Gremlin?
TomathyInsideIt
You type like a fucking old person
Philza Minceraft
Your point is?
TomathyInsideIt
Fuck I've gotten offtopic
Uh
I'm ace aro :thumbs_up:
Philza Minceraft
Pogchamp tiny child :ok_hand: :pride_asexual: :pride_aromantic:
TomathyInsideIt
Not a child asshole
Philza Minceraft
Sounds fake but okay
And like that, it was done. Tommy... Couldn't believe it. He was out to two of his idols and neither of them reacted negatively! It was incredible!
...All that was left was the entire rest of the SMP. Maybe just the ones he was closest to. Maybe just Tubbo, Ranboo, and Techno. Maybe he'd ask Wilbur to tell Techno and tackle Ranboo and Tubbo himself.
That sounded good.
___
Pride month rolled around, and though Wilbur had told Techno like he'd asked, and the two had had a call that was only mildly awkward, he still hadn't come out to Ranboo or Tubbo. The latter of which was infinitely more important, he told himself, knowing that was a complete lie and that both of their opinions would make or break the way this entire thing went.
All three of them were playing Bedwars together, after streaming it for a good three hours, just hanging out and calming down.
"Do you guys ever see fanart or fan content that's scarily accurate? I swear, half the time I think I've accidentally done a face reveal," Ranboo laughed, as he broke a team's bed with Tommy's help. "Or like when someone made my eyes grey, I forgot Tubbo mentioned that on stream and nearly dropped my phone."
"I know what you mean," Tommy groaned, knocking an opponent off the edge. "Someone made a whole post talking about how character me has aro-ace vibes and I didn't see the tag saying it was about character me. Thought I'd accidentally come out and forgotten about it!"
A beat of silence, as Tommy realised his mistake, his avatar stuttering in it's speed bridging and falling into the void.
"Wait fuck-"
"Good on you, Bossman!" Tubbo shouted, punching Tommy's character as he respawned. "Just in time for Pride Month!"
"Huh," Ranboo sounded amused, flat bridging back to their island like a heathen. "You're a double A battery?"
"That's exactly what I said!" Tommy cried, hoping his pure joy at their nonchalant reactions covered up the unadulterated relief. He didn't want them to know he'd been panicking about what they'd think, that'd imply he thought badly of them.
"You want to design a pride skin?" Tubbo offered, voice knowing as though he could read Tommy's mind. "You don't even have to use it if you're worried, but I think it'd be fun to make one, right?"
"Oh that'd be cool for sure," Ranboo agreed, the sound of him clapping his hands together to enunciate his words echoing slightly. "Very cool."
"That'd be great," Tommy nodded, watching as their victory message danced across the screen. "That'd be really great."