Work Text:
𝗜𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆?
Kuroo: Fukunaga? Can I talk to you real quick?
ten minutes later.
Fukunaga: oh? hey what’s up?
Kuroo: um
Kuroo: idk
Kuroo: just Um…
Fukunaga: you okay?
Kuroo: yeah…
Kuroo: just how are you today?
Fukunaga: I’m doing good, currently watching horror movies
Fukunaga: you?
Kuroo: um, ive been sitting to myself really in my own thoughts today. I tried not to be but its hard :/
Fukunaga: whatcha thinking about?
Kuroo: myself
Kuroo: . . .
Fukunaga: i mean what exactly about yourself
Kuroo: well um
Kuroo: thats what made me text you today because of these certain thoughts i've been having
Kuroo: um well
Kuroo: how do I say this
Fukunaga: take your time dude
Kuroo: . . .
Fukunaga: ??
Kuroo: do you think ....my boyfriends would be accepting if i told them that um..
Fukunaga: Testu, now you’re worrying me. tell them what?
Kuroo was now scared. They had mentally prepared themselves for hours to say this to their good friend before the others along with their boyfriends. They were scared for everyone's reaction. They couldn’t help but think of the worst case scenario.
Kuroo: I feel everyone isn’t going to accept me
Fukunaga: Idk what’s going on, but you know we all would accept you no matter what
Kuroo: how are you so sure of that?
Fukunaga: same question as to why you thinking all of us wouldn’t accept you
Fukunaga: we been through so much together and nothing is going to make none of us turn against you
Fukunaga: you know your boyfriends love you to death, and would love you regardless of anything
Kuroo: I know it’s just with what i want to say some people change…
Fukunaga: Well we’re not some people, we’re your friends and family. Even though yes there are those who can be judgemental but have we ever left you or cursed you out or anything when you told us anything about yourself
Kuroo: no but :(
Fukunaga: tetsu. i know you’re scared right now and that’s okay. you don’t have to tell me that’s also okay. but don’t think that your boyfriends will judge you
Kuroo: you right you right
Kuroo: it’s just.. i came out to my mom this morning and honestly it was a big mistake. because she didn’t react the way i expected her too. like she is usually always so accepting
Kuroo: but..
Kuroo: when i told her what I wanted to tell you, things changed :/
Kuroo: she looked at me wondering where i got this from. she thought this was a phase or something that i picked up from others.
Kuroo: she thinks that its stupid to think that there are other genders beyond male and female.
Fukunaga: damn. she didn’t have to say it like that. everyone has their beliefs and opinions on things and that's okay, but i feel she should’ve worded what she said to you way differently than how she did it.
Kuroo: ig so
Fukunaga: She could’ve just said she confused on what that meant and she could’ve let that moment be time for her to let you explain what that meant to her.
Kuroo: yeah but it’s whatever, she might not listen. and, i really don’t feel like being in an argument with her.
Fukunaga: that reminds me does she know about your boyfriends?
Kuroo: she thinks we are roommates that just live together. I don’t think she would mind if i had a boyfriend because she knows i like anything really idc about gender but i don’t label myself i don’t see the point in that
Kuroo: i feel it would be more of a problem if i told her that i have three boyfriends instead of one. you know how they don’t accept same sex relationships and then imagine me saying already i like anything but also saying i’m in a relationship with THREE people.
Fukunaga: ….yeah
Fukunaga: Not everyone is willing or accepting of poly relationships
Kuroo: Yeah :(
Fukunaga: but that brings me to noticing what you said above, something about your mom thinking there is basically no other genders beyond male or female ?
Kuroo: yeah.
Fukunaga: tetsu it’s okay.
Fukunaga: do you want to continue talking about it? or do you want to change the subject?
Kuroo: No I…
Kuroo: i want to tell you now..
Fukunaga: okay. i’m all eyes and ears
Kuroo: thanks.
Kuroo: um..what i wanted to tell you is that, i don’t see myself as the gender i was born as.
Fukunaga: okay, you don’t see yourself as male correct? You don’t feel associated with it, correct?
Kuroo: yeah... i just have been feeling so uncomfortable this past couple of months when being associated with male pronouns. i didn’t understand at first honestly
Kuroo: I felt like a disgrace feeling like that at first
Kuroo: i felt disgusted with myself because like, I'm a man? that’s what i was born as so why do i not feel associated with it??
Kuroo: I even looked myself in the mirror and legit called myself different pronouns to see what i liked
Kuroo: When i called myself “she” “she is pretty” “i am so proud of her.” It felt better than hearing “he” “he is pretty”
Kuroo: but then i called myself “them.”
Kuroo: and i felt my heart do a thing, just being associated with neither gender and being called this made me...happy
Fukunaga: holy shit you about to make me cry 🥺
Fukunaga: I am so proud of you ❤️
Fukunaga: Oh? OH? HOLD ON ONE SECOND
Kuroo: uh okay
15 minutes later.
Fukunaga: OKAY I WENT TO LOOK IT UP AND BEEN READING
Kuroo: I was fucking worried!
Kuroo: Siskss 🥺 wait you went to go look it up??
Fukunaga: uh yeah? was i not supposed too? I wanted to understand better
Kuroo: Don’t fucking make me cry 🥺
Fukunaga: I also read up on neopronouns?! I learned that transgender, nonbinary, and/or gender nonconforming people use them. i also learned to not call neopronouns nicknames they are strictly PRONOUNS
Kuroo: 🥺
Kuroo: yeah
Fukunaga: Do you use neopronouns?
Kuroo: no i don’t
Fukunaga: okay. so to make sure i am correct. you use they/them pronouns.
Kuroo: yes
Fukunaga: what about nonbinary nicknames? do you have any that you use?
Kuroo: currently no but i actually...want too
Kuroo; are you sure you’re that comfortable with this and not doing this just to be nice? because.. i don’t want you uncomfortable
Fukunaga: tetsu, seriously i accept you for who you are. i’m actually so proud of you for even coming out to me, and no i’m going to judge you. no, I am not doing this to be nice. I seriously wholeheartedly accept you
Kuroo felt themself growing soft from the help that they were getting from their best friend currently. They didn’t think they would have someone that would care this much for them.
Kuroo: um then on that note can you help me pick out a nonbinary nickname that i can use …
Fukunaga: OF COURSE! 😇
Fukunaga being the sweetheart he is went on google and decided to look up nonbinary names to help out his dear friend. While ten minutes passed by and he came back to bother Kuroo.
Fukunaga: I AM BACK AGAIN.
Fukunaga: T E S T U ✨
Kuroo: o.o
Kuroo: 😀 yes?
Fukunaga: I have found a list of nicknames. Let's go through em and see what you like??
Fukunaga: Alright 🤠
Fukunaga: okay first nickname is pumpkin
Kuroo: hell no
Fukunaga: SHEYGGEGGHG muffin?
Kuroo: I rather run through some flames
Fukunaga: LMFAO
Fukunaga: Half-Pint
Kuroo: I rather jump in a ditch
Fukunaga: Little bit
Kuroo: mmmmm nah
Fukunaga: Cupcake
Kuroo: DisgusTANG
Fukunaga: Peanut
Kuroo: You can pee DEEZ NUTS
Kuroo: pls i’m sorry that didn’t make sense
Fukunaga: i guess that’s a no
Fukunaga: how about bean?
Kuroo: mmmmm idk
from then on they continued through many different nicknames until they finished the list.
Kuroo: hmmm ngl but out of all the nicknames i like — i’d say bean
Fukunaga: Bean is actually cute ngl
Kuroo: yeah it really is..
Fukunaga: Bean, you’re so cute when you’re embarrassed
Kuroo: SIDNEIDBDOSNSOSJSNSJS
Fukunaga: 🤠 yeehaw
Kuroo: that just made me so happy but also i think ...i’m going to go speak to my boyfriends about this now
Kuroo: Also thank you for listening
Fukunaga: Anytime. you know i’m all ears all the time, proud of ya. have fun talking to your boyfriends. They will love you regardless
Kuroo: I hope
,,
Currently Kuroo was walking around the room giving themself a pep talk about how they can do this. They looked at the time seeing it was close to dinner time. Plus, tonight was their turn to cook something. So they thought about saying something during dinner. But, was it the right time to say it tonight. At the same time — they felt it was time to tell their boyfriends. They shouldn’t be left in the dark about something like this for a long time. Plus, it could lead to them being clueless but also misgendering them the whole time. And, that wouldn’t be good for neither of them. Because that would lead Kuroo to being mad with them and leaving their boyfriends being confused on what they did.
“holy shit i’m about to do this”
They kept repeating themselves, and decided to do a good three push ups to get pumped up.
“okay. okay.. i can do this”
Kuroo then stood at the bedroom door for a few seconds before opening it, then walking out. They walked down the hallway turning to the left to walk into the living room. They spotted Akaashi cuddling Kenma while watching television. Bokuto was sitting on the floor with his legs criss-crossed while writing in a journal. That journal was a special journal for him, he liked to write about what he does everyday. it can be good things yet bad things that happens that he writes in there but also beside the bad and good things — he writes reflections about what he could've done differently in that situation. It’s something that him and his friends do to help with their mental states. It’s also something that he got Akaashi, Kuroo, and Kenma to do as well. Especially when they didn’t want to talk sometimes. It was a healthy coping system for them all. Kuroo took a second to look at them not realizing they were staring at them. Kuroo just couldn’t help it. But that was short lived when Akaashi felt a stare and looked up and noticed Kuroo was staring.
“hey, tetsu? you good?”
Kuroo blinked before wearing an uneasy smile.
“I-I’m fine”
Kuroo quickly made their way to the kitchen. They searched around pulling out pans from the their respective spots. Along with walking around the kitchen to grasp different ingredients from the cabinets along with seasonings needed for the dish. Once they had everything they began to cook in peace. They took this time to think about how they're going to bring it up. Should they back a cake and write on top and say ‘I am not a man, srry’? Or should they say a cringey joke leading them into it.
’Are you a enby or outbee?’
‘What’s an enbies favorite drink? Gender-Fluid’
‘Why did the nonbinary settlers move to the south? There’s gold in them/their hills’
Kuroo shook their head, maybe not that.
After twenty minutes, Kuroo found themselves finishing cooking. They placed down the utensils and grabbed the food placing them in different platings to place out on the table; while still in deep thought about the whole thing. They were really scared now coming to the realization that this was the moment. This was the moment they were finally going to say something. In the living-room Kenma, Akaashi and Bokuto could smell the aroma of the food hitting their noses. They all looked over seeing Kuroo setting up the table and that gave them the green light to come over to the table looking all happy to eat but also enjoying each others company.
‘What if they don’t accept me?’
Kuroo’s eyes widened as that thought randomly shouting in his mind as they sat down beside Akaashi. Kenma and Bokuto had sat across from them. They tried not to show any weary expression, but — it was so hard not too. They could feel their stomach bubbling up with anxiety. As they were in their own mind — they almost didn’t hear their boyfriends thank them for the food as they picked up their utensils to eat and start a whole convo. Kuroo on the other hand seemed to block out reality around them as they unconsciously picked up their utensil to try and eat. But, they couldn’t. They couldn’t eat because it seemed they lost their appetite in that exact moment feeling slightly sick at the fact that they could really deny their feelings or invalidate them. Or — try to correct them.
Bokuto on the other hand kept laughing at Kenma jokes that he was randomly making about his classes. He was enjoying the laughter from Akaashi, who was starting to wheeze from how hard they were laughing. But, at that was going on Bokuto had side-eyed Kuroo who wasn’t eating or really doing anything. They seemed to not be there and that made Bokuto really worried for them.
“Tetsu? you okay?”
Kuroo could lie. But all three of them can catch them in a lie so quickly — so there would be no point in trying.
Akaashi and Kenma both stopped laughing and joking around to look over. Kenma had sensed something was off since the beginning, due to Kuroo wanting to be alone in their room. He didn’t want to force them to talk. At first Kenma thought it was just Kuroo wanting to be alone just because they wanted to be away from them a little before coming to them. Only for Kenma to realize something wasn’t right when they were gone up in the room for a good majority of the day. It kinda made them antsy to see Kuroo — but they knew Kuroo probably wouldn’t have want to see them. Akaashi noticed something was up when Kuroo came into the scene and was just staring at them without saying a word.
“not really..” Kuroo replied.
“what’s wrong?” Kenma asked.
“baby?” Akaashi called out.
“um — well, it’s something I've been wanting to talk to you guys about.. for a while..”
Kenma, Akaashi, and Bokuto heart seemed to drop out of their ass when hearing that sentence. Call them dramatic but they didn’t want to take that sentence the wrong way automatically or think that Kuroo was talking about breaking up. But, when you hear that type of sentence. you can’t help but sometimes think the worst.
“It’s something i came to realize about myself and never knew how to tell you guys. i cried about it, felt disgusted with myself at one point not understanding. also doing research about it to get a better understanding”
Bokuto wanted to say something and Kenma noticed and quickly stopped him to let Kuroo continue.
“but i’m scared to say anything to you guys about it even though i literally just had a whole pep talk with myself, i even talked to my friend earlier about it too as well but i’m still scared... because..”
Kuroo focused their attention to their pointer fingers letting the poke at each other — repeatedly, while Kenma’s facial expression soften. Akaashi kept a neutral face, and Bokuto’s facial expression grew even more worried.
“You guys might think differently of me once i say something..”
“take your time” Kenma made sure to assure them that they could take their time in saying what they needed to say. There was honestly no rush.
“I promise you we won’t” Akaashi assured.
“We won’t judge you” Bokuto said, agreeing.
They all made sure to give Kuroo a reassuring look, as Kuroo looked back at all them.
“um.. well” Kuroo started, feeling their heart pound faster than normal. “I don’t ...associate myself with being a man, ..i-i mean, i don’t associate myself with any gender. like? i mean, um that i’m not a guy..”
Kuroo was stubbling on their words growing even more nervous. Akaashi had delicately grasped their left hand. Once letting Kuroo hand settle into his. He let his thumb rub against their knuckles slowly.
“baby, it’s okay. Inhale then exhale out.”
Kuroo had stopped talking and did exactly that.
“You good?” Akaashi watched Kuroo doing what they were told with their breathing seeing them not look scared or so.
”yeah.”
“wanna explain it again?” Kenma wondered. He didn’t want to pester Kuroo or make them do or continue something that seems to be making them feel this emotional or scared about.
“yeah um. i don’t associate myself as a man. I don’t feel comfortable with male pronouns at all. I don’t see myself as either male or female. I tried female pronouns and i didn’t mind them just felt they weren’t for me. but when i called myself they and using them with myself it felt good.”
Kuroo squeezed Akaashi hand a little tighter, looking down at their lap. They were ready for the rejection and the confusion. But instead — they got silence. They honestly felt more scary because no one was saying anything. Kuroo looked up meeting all with all of their boyfriends but they immediately caught Bokuto on the phone tapping around. They were about to get mad thinking he was texting until Bokuto started speaking.
“a non-binary person is someone who does not identify as exclusively a man or a woman. Someone who is non-binary might feel like a mix of genders, or like they have no gender at all.” Bokuto read out from his phone before looking up. “ahh i see, sorry i just wanted to look it up as well to understand more. Ah!”
Bokuto had put his phone down on the table then brought his attention back up to look at Kuroo. He held his hands out for Kuroo. Kuroo had moved their hand from Akaashi’s to put both of their hands into Bokuto’s from across the table while looking at him still feeling a tad bit bothered.
“That was rude for me to be on my phone, i’m sorry but i’m so proud of you tetsu for even coming out to us. That takes alot for anyone to do” Bokuto said
“I’m so proud of you Tetsu. You’re so cute” Akaashi said.
“Tetsu, i may not relate to your feelings right now, but don’t ever be scared to tell us anything.” Kenma beamed feeling extremely happy for Kuroo.
Kuroo could feel tears starting to fill the rim of their eyes.
“You...guys not mad?”
“sweetheart, why would we be mad?” Bokuto questioned, confused on that notion that he couldn’t believe his lover was saying.
Kuroo’s heart fluttered at the nickname loving the feeling it brought to them. Akaashi had leaned over onto Kuroo's shoulder.
“We love you regardless of what you identify as” Akaashi made sure that was said wanting kuroo to understand they weren’t going to judge them.
“Your identity is valid, no one should be an ass or have something to say about it — when it’s quite simple to understand. confusion, that’s okay. being rude about it? that’s a big no.”
“Exactly” all of them agreed.
“you guys..” Kuroo felt shy but also feeling six million different emotions run through their insides not knowing what to do with themselves. Bokuto had stood up leaning his body over the table as he raised both of Kuroo’s hands to his lips to leave a couple kisses onto Kuroo’s knuckles on both; Before sitting back down into his seat. This was a gesture that Bokuto liked to do randomly sometimes to his lovers. It was such an endearing gesture that all of them loved when he did it — it made their insides burst with all types of fireworks. It just seemed to make them fall deeper in love with him, as if they weren’t all so deeply in love already. This gesture was something that seemed to help calm him down when nervous or also them in certain matters. Even when they had serious talks. Out of all of them — Kenma loved them the most even though he wouldn’t admit it though. He loved when Bokuto kissed his knuckles after he plays games for a long period of time, or when their cuddling and Kenma would sneakily touch the tips of Bokuto’s fingers, which makes him intertwine their hands together lifting the hand to his lips and place small kisses on his knuckles. It was such a small gesture that seemed to make them feel even more connected. But, regardless of all of that Kuroo could feel themselves starting to calm down some from the gesture.
“So? You go by they/them pronouns right? so instead of us saying he or him we just change it to they and them instead.” Bokuto wanted to make sure they were addressing them the correct way.
“yeah…”
“i have a friend who is agender and use something called neopronouns? Do you use those?” Kenma questioned.
“what is that?” Bokuto was not knew to this but was new at the same time. He heard about some but others he never heard before and he felt was entering a whole world when hearing about all of this.
”it’s basically pronouns that’s like a new category that are used in place of like she, he, and they. So if Kuroo used them, they would use the neopronoun in place of they.” Kenma best-friend Kageyama was Agender — who used neopronouns. Kageyama had to explain everything to Kenma and their other friends so everyone knows how to address them. Kageyama wanted them to know the right things to say but also the wrong things to say so they don’t embarrass themselves. Kageyama’s boyfriend Hinata loved to call them bun, or blueberry. It was nicknames that they came up with one another to call Kageyama. Kenma even asked Hinata how he had reacted to when Kageyama coming out to him.
‘I was scared when they told me, i was scared because i didn’t know how to react or what about of the other genders were so i was confused but also feeling like a horrible lover right there because i didn’t know. Also with my confused expression that gave Kageyama idea thinking I was rejecting them when in fact i wasn’t. I just being an idiot at that moment in confusion. But that left with Kageyama leaving me while crying. It hurt so bad but i did chase after them to explain myself. Kenma, if a loved one or someone comes out to you make sure to give reassuring type looks and make sure you are listening because their already scared as it is so one wrong look could make them hurt or take it the wrong way. And that could start arguments or whatever else.’
Kenma had came back to reality to look at Kuroo and give them a smile. Which made Kuroo feel their heart bloom once again by not only being noticed by their correct pronouns, but also getting that smile they fell in love with from Kenma.
“Ah i see”
Kuroo was really tearing up at the fact that their boyfriends was really accepting.
“I don’t use neopronouns but um...it’s this nickname, my friend and i came up with that’s a nonbinary nickname and i really really like it”
“what’s the nickname?”
“bean.”
Only if the imaginary arrow that pierced through Kenma, Bokuto and Akaashi's heart was visible. They felt attacked at how cute Kuroo was being plus that nickname? Sheesh, it was so fucking cute. Akaashi on the other hand had leaned over to use his hands to wipe Kuroo eyes from the tears they were shedding.
”Bean, Don’t cry it’s okay.” Akaashi started.
“That’s so cute, Bean.” Kenma continued.
“Bean is so cute, what the fuck. you trying to give me a heart attack?” Bokuto had to be the proudest boyfriend known worldwide for his bean.
“ah, i’m sorry kou” Kuroo will forever be grateful for having the best boyfriends in the world who care immensely for them.
“Anyway, Bean, i’m so proud of you truly. You didn’t have to tell us but i’m glad you did. And, we promise we going to make sure we abide by what makes you comfortable you big doofus >:( how could you think we wouldn’t accept you?” Everyone chuckled at Kenma’s question, but Kuroo knew to not ever question their boyfriends ever again. They just couldn’t help it at first due to their dark thoughts trying to take over their mind. It was making them think they won’t be accepted or cared for. Or, that they might leave them for coming out as this. But to see this turning out better than they expected. It made them truly happy.
“You had me in the first half not gonna lie, But the first half of what he said is true though at the same time” Akaashi exclaimed.
“Kenma i-“ Bokuto was lost for words at this point.
“Sorry, just my worry and doubts got the best of me”
“That’s okay”
“We love you regardless haha”
“Just don’t be afraid to talk to us about it again”
“I’ll try”
Akaashi giggled, placing his hands on Kuroo cheeks, squishing them some before smothering them with kisses. Then giving kisses all over Kuroo’s face.
“I’m so proud of you, i love you” Those words made Kuroo heart do a thing, and give the most goofiest smile ever back to Akaashi who continued to give them kisses.
“Wait — hold on! I wanna give kisses haha” Bokuto had let go of Kuroo’s hands before jumping up.
“I guess i’m coming too” Kenma got up from his seat, giggling some. Both Bokuto and Kenma had went around from the other side. Once Kenma had settled behind Kuroo, he then wrapped his arms around Kuroo's shoulders from the back. Bokuto had threw themselves on Kuroo's lap like a beefy sack of potatoes, as Kuroo groaned from the extra weight.
“I-“ Kuroo seemed to malfunction but couldn’t get no words out due to all the kisses they were still getting.
“I needed some type of love, i can’t get your face right now because Akaashi is taking it all up” Bokuto pouted.
Kuroo slithered their arm around Bokuto’s waist, pulling him closer — laughing as they continued to get kisses from Akaashi. They could hear and feel the vibrations against their back from Kenma’s soft laughter at this chaos while cuddling. In this moment, Kuroo felt so comfortable and safe in their arms.
“i love you guys so fucking much.”
‘Thank you, for being a safe place for me.’