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So this is what dying feels like.
Marcy Wu always wondered how it felt like to die or to leave this world, now she knows.
Or at least she thinks she does? She can’t quite put her finger on it but something feels off.
It‘s a weird thing to say about dying but here she was. Marcy Wu, head of the chess club, master RTS player, straight A-student except for gym but only because she was reading in class.
13 year old Marcy Wu never thought that she would die this young, statistically it‘s very unusual that people in her age die, but then again, that are only statistics.
They don‘t really count when you get transfered to another universe where you could basically die every minute now, do they?
She never wanted this though. She never wanted to hurt Anne or Sasha or even herself! She just didn’t want to be alone and she never thought it would work! But there are no excuses for what happened, she could have told her best friends the truth- were they even her best friends anymore? Probably not.
She deserved it though, she did. Now she really was alone, without anyone, without Anne and Sasha.
,,At least Anne is safe and back home, I hope Sash made it out there alive somehow.“ She thought as she let her thoughts be silent for a while. After a few minutes passed she started to think again.
,,I really thought being dead would be more peaceful.“
She thought, before it hit her
Wait..
Something‘s off.
If she’s dead, then why can she think? Why can she feel her body even if only barely? This isn’t normal.
Then she began to panic, she isn’t dead, which should actually be a good thing but she..she didn’t want to be alive. As hard as it sounds, she caused so much trouble and pain, she didn’t deserve to be alive! She hurt so many people and she fucked up so bad!
,,Marcy calm down, this is fine, everythings fine, everything is absolutely okay!“
But it wasn’t. She couldn’t open her eyes, she couldnt move, it felt like she was..floating. Where even was she?
Maybe she was dead and ended up being in hell where her punishment was that she had to ,,live“ with her painful thoughts for eternity. But wasn’t hell supposed to be hot and red? Even though her eyes were closed she registered a blue shade.
She thought about it a while more but then she gave up. If she really was alive there was no chance she would get back to Anne or Sasha, even if she was alive Anne and Sasha would never talk to her again let alone rescue her. So it was pointless, what else should she live for if not for her best friends?
Marcy is cold, it wasn’t like a physical cold but more like she felt cold inside. At the same time it felt like she was on fire, she wondered why, she possibly could understand the cold but heat? Why is it so warm and cold? And why did her chest hurt? Did someone stab her? But fire swords don’t exist!
Well on earth they don’t, after all, this was Amphibia.
,,No, that was silly, that..that never happened, did it?“
She hated it, she hated everything. She was desperate for a warm hug from Anne or an awkward pep talk from Sash. She would never get a hug or a peptalk ever again.
This is what she deserved, she thought. Slowly everything got black in her vision but she didn‘t bring herself to care. It didn’t matter, nothing did anymore.
,,Anne..Sasha, I‘m sorry. For everything.“
She tried to say it out loud but something blocked her mouth, no one was ever gonna hear her apology except for herself.
Marcy Wu always wondered how it felt like to die or to leave this world, now she knows.
Or at least she knows how it feels to be dead inside.