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For some time, Kaz stayed right where he was, down on his hands and knees. His breaths shuddered and arms shook with the effort to hold himself up. He closed his eyes against the throbbing through his skull, which did provide minimal relief, but it also caused his head to spin. It’s making him nauseous and he knows his position isn’t helping any. Practically falling to the side, Kaz readjusted himself to sit against his desk.
He rested his head back, one hand caressing the side of his head. Even through the gloves, he can feel something slick running down his temple. He doesn’t care though, caring was too painful. Did they have to hit that hard? Every second of thought was a spike straight through his head. Shaky fingers ran through his hair,knocking more strands from their place.
How long had he been sitting there? Was it second? Minutes? An hour? Any one of those was plausible. And yet, he still couldn’t muster the motivation to get up. No matter how much he told himself there were matters to attend to, that time was not on their side, he just couldn’t move. He was sure doing so would scramble his brains the rest of the way.
All he could do was sit there and stay as still as possible, convincing his head little by little to settle down. Or, that’s what the plan was.
A knock at the door sent nails through his head and right out the other side.
‘ Go away…’
“Boss!”
Kaz sighed at Jesper’s voice. Of course it was him, he always picked the worst times to need and want. He hoped, damn near prayed, for the sharpshooter to give up, turn around, and go away. He would never be so fortunate, though, would he?
“What?” he called out after a few more echoing knocks.
“Let me in! I have news!”
Kaz let out a groan. News? News about what? What could Jesper possibl- Oh right. He could have cursed himself for almost forgetting. The job. He hauled himself to his feet, one hand braced against the desk for dear life. The room rocked and tilted with every fast beat of his heart. It was times like those he really regretted that lock.
“Kaz! Lemme in!”
The prodigy grit his teeth against the fresh throbs the shouting brought on. “I’m coming, Jesper!”
‘ Just have some patience…’
Kaz steadied himself and smoothed his hair back. He wasn’t sure how presentable he was, and he didn’t bother checking in the mirror. With how much his vision wavered, he doubted he’d make enough out to really tell. So focused on staying upright, he completely forgot his cane on the table. On the bright side, it was a short enough walk over that he could manage fairly well. He stopped right in front of the door and stared at the lock for a moment, waiting for it to stay still long enough.
With a deep breath and a few attempts, he got it open and opened it just enough to peer through.
“What?” he asked, cutting right to the chase. He wanted to get this over with so he could return to the floor, where it was surprisingly more comfortable.
“Ah, well, you see, I overheard something quite interesting. I know you told me to stay outside, and, well, I was out there when I hear-”
“Jesper,” Kaz sighed, trying his best to blink away the encroaching haze, “Get on with it, will you?”
Jesper nodded. “Right, right, of course. “Well…” he trailed off and narrowed his eyes. “Is … is that blood?”
Kaz closes his eyes with another deep breath. “Jesper, please, tell me what you need to tell me.” He didn’t mean for it to slip out, but the sound of his own voice in his head had him wincing.
“Are you all right?”
The sharpshooter gets nothing other than another impatient sigh and he takes that as the closest thing he’s getting to an answer. “O-Ok, all right. Well, I overheard a couple customers talking about rumors of grisha arriving in Ketterdam. Grisha not a part of the military, meaning they must have gotten here through other means and I may have a lead on one. Well, at least I have some others keeping an ey- Hey, are you listening to me?”
Kaz didn’t reply. His eyes were shut and his jaw tense. Against his boss’ wishes, Jesper eases the door open farther. He peered in and saw the death grip Kaz had on the door frame. He opened his mouth to ask again if everything was fine, but not a single word ever made it beyond a mere thought. Jesper sucked in a breath when Kaz suddenly fell towards him without warning.
“Ah, f-fuck,” Jesper stuttered out, barely catching his boss before he can hit the floor. “Kaz?” To his surprise, there is a response. It’s little more than an incoherent mutter, but at least it means he didn’t actually pass out. “Boss?” He kept his voice low as he lightly jostled Kaz.
To his utter relief, the criminal shifted. He shifted, but didn’t immediately shove himself away from Jesper. That’s what really set off the alarm bells for the sharpshooter. Kaz didn’t care that Jesper was the only thing holding him up. He either didn’t care or didn’t fully realize. Either one of those was definitely a bad sign, though.
“Ok, let’s, uh, get you seated, shall we?”
Try as he might, there was no masking the panic in his voice. It was like hauling around dead weight. Kaz did little in the way of assistance. Well, aside from the odd, clumsy step. Most of the way, Jesper was dragging his feet. In a short time, however, he got them over to the desk and deposited his charge in the chair as gently as he could. The moment Kaz was seated, he propped his elbows on the table and cradled his head between his hands, never once opening his eyes.
“Kaz?” Jesper placed his hands on the other side of the desk and leaned over, lowering to be on the same level. “What the hell happened here?” He looked around a bit, seeing a few things that appeared to be out of place. “Was someone here?”
Kaz mumbled something under his breath, something Jesper didn’t quite catch.
“What was that?”
“Pe’ka.” Kaz had the heel of his hand pressed against his forehead. He let out a long, pitched hiss. “Threaten’d us.” Finally, he cracked an eye open to meet Jesper’s stare. “Tell me what you found out.”
The sharpshooter furrowed his brow at the minor lapse in memory. “I already did.” He leaned in closer to look more closely into Kaz’s one opened eye. His boss didn’t look away, but he also didn’t appear to be looking at Jesper at all. The brown iris was nearly swallowed completely by black. “Kaz, I’m going to ask again. Are you all right?” He stayed positioned the way he was, holding that lingering eye contact.
Kaz stared back, clearly fighting to hold his eyes open. It was a losing battle. It wasn’t the only one being lost though, not when Jesper already knew the answer.
“No.”
It’s a start.
He needed to get a better look at that head injury. He was no medik and had no proper training to be anything close to one, but he at least knew a few basic things. Jesper rounded the desk, and he internally cringed at how much of a delay there was for Kaz’s gaze to follow behind. He didn't reel back, he didn’t wave Jesper away, he just watched, gaze wavering.
Not good at all.
Lips tight, Jesper crouched and muttered a soft ‘sorry’. He kept his touch easy and swift. Nimble fingers danced around the large and darkening bruise at Kaz’s temple. Some dark strands stuck to the wound as blood had already begun to dry. That was good. At least it wasn’t still bleeding. He had to swallow hard, though, to fight the nausea as he examined the wound. Kaz showed minimal discomfort. Was it from pain or from the touching? Jesper couldn’t tell. That is, if Kaz was even fully aware of what was going on.
Finally, Jesper pulled his hands away and wiped the small smears of blood on his pants with a slight cringe. Definitely has to change as soon as he’s able. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Kaz had a pretty nasty concussion, and he wasn’t so sure sitting here was the best thing for him. Then again, he was certain there wasn’t much of a better option. Part of him was kind of afraid of allowing him to lie down.
Lost in thought, he was barely aware of Kaz’s gaze growing more hazed. Jesper snapped his fingers, causing the other to jerk.
“Hey, look at me,” he instructed, snapping again for good measure. “No passing out, ok?” His hands hovered, ready to give a hearty slap if he had to. “I need you to stay awake, just for a bit.”
Kaz nodded with the faintest of winces. “Fine.” His voice was quiet, hardly a whisper. His hand moved to cover the still darkening mark at his temple, cupping it, almost like doing so would make the throbbing more tolerable. “Damn…” he muttered and heaved a shuddering breath. Jesper watched with a wary eye as his boss’ color began to drain from his face. “Think I’m…” He trailed off, but he didn’t need to finish for Jesper to get the hint.
“Ah, fuck,” the sharpshooter blurted as he made a grab for the trash bin. “Here.” He shoved it over and turned his head away. Even though he wasn’t looking, the sound of the dry heaves was enough to have him gagging. This was a fine example of why he’d never allowed anyone to teach him about first aid or anything of the sort.
Luckily, it didn’t last for long, and it didn’t sound as though Kaz ever really threw up. Which was also a blessing because Jesper wasn’t sure he could handle it if he caught a glimpse of anything.
“You good now?”
Kaz said nothing, but both leather clad hands raked through his hair. His breaths were shaky, same as his arms. If Jesper hadn’t known better, he was sure that was a whimper he heard slip out. Kaz never showed weakness, though, so surely he’d heard wrong.
Clearing his throat, Jesper took a seat on the edge of the desk. This was about to get awkward, but he had to keep Kaz awake, and from the look of things, he was on the verge of giving in to unconsciousness. In a near panic, Jesper slammed a hand on the desk, shaking the whole thing. He almost felt guilty when Kaz jolted, both eyes opening wide.
“What do you have against Pekka, really?”
He wasn’t sure if he imagined it or if the temperature really had dropped by a few degrees with that question. Kaz went unnaturally still. For a few seconds, Jesper thought he might have actually fainted. Then, there was that sharp, disgusted inhale. Kaz peered up, keeping his head lowered. And there it was, that flaring animosity in his eyes.
“ ‘What do I have against him?’ ” he repeated, eyes setting on Jesper. They were the clearest they’d been since he stepped foot in there. “ Everything ,” he spat.
Jesper was almost afraid to press the matter, but this seemed to be the topic to keep Kaz awake. Maybe he could keep him pissed enough to distract him from the lulls of sleep. “Well, that doesn’t tell me much.”
“It tells you enough.”
With that, Kaz’s eyes fell back to his desk, hands combing through his hair once more.
Jesper just nodded with a low hum. Clearly he wasn’t going to get anything more than that. Why couldn’t Kaz have been more outspoken? It would have made this a hell of a lot easier. Keeping someone as aloof as him talking was a job in and of itself.
“He inspired me to become who I am today.”
Or maybe Jesper didn’t have to force anything at all.
“Without him, who knows, I might still be a naive fledgling pigeon masquerading as a predatory fowl. You can only parade around like that for so long before the hems begin to fray and everyone can see it for the cheap costume it really is. For that, I suppose I have Pekka to thank. He sliced right through the stitching so I didn't have to wait for the tedious process. He did me the favor of slicing that costume to shreds. Only, it was no longer an ignorant pigeon hiding underneath anymore.” The leather of his gloves squeaked as his fingers curled into fists.
Jesper was silent the whole time, and silent for the seconds that followed. What was he supposed to say? Kaz really didn’t tell him much of anything. If at all, Jesper was more confused than when they started. On the bright side, there was a spark in his boss’ eyes. He didn’t look as though he would pass out at any second anymore. Of course, there was still that pained overcast layered on top, but it wasn’t as opaque.
“How’s the head?”
He was honestly curious, but at the same time, that look was beginning to scare him and he needed a topic change.
It was hard to tell if it was a bitter laugh or a pained scoff that left Kaz. “Heavy,” he replied simply. His fingers prodded around the bruise again, flinching as he grazed over it. Kaz dropped his hand away with a quiet hiss.
“Yeah, we should probably get that fixed up.”
Kaz waved a dismissive hand. “There’s no need for ‘we’, Jesper. I think I can handle a small scrape.” His brows furrowed as he spoke. So, Jesper thought, he’s just going to act like he didn’t collapse against me a few minutes ago.
The Zemeni raised a suspicious brow. “Want me to at least fetch the supplies for you. I don’t trust you walking around stairs on the regular.” Kaz’s lips tightened as his face settled into a stern mask. Jesper raised his hands in defense, but he was being honest. “I just don’t want to have to explain to anyone what happened when they find you on the floor.”
Kaz closed his eyes and took a deep, long breath. He really wasn’t up for arguing. He waved a hand again, this one in affirmation.
That was easier than Jesper had expected. His eyes were closed and his features had stiffened. He was trying to hide it by bowing his head. It was the veil of sweat on his forehead that really gave it all away. That and the occasional hitch in his breaths.
But… he appeared as though he would be all right for the amount of time it would take for Jesper to fetch the things needed. He was only gone for about a minute total, getting a cloth and a near empty bottle of whiskey. It would have to do, or rather it was the best he could offer.
When he returned and deposited everything, Kaz twitched just as he had when Jesper slammed a hand down. He was not an easy one to startle, so the fact Jesper had managed to twice was unsettling to say the least.
Regardless, Kaz gave a curt nod and poured a generous amount of the alcohol on the cloth. Before Jesper could protest, his boss was pushing to his feet. There was a pause, he assumed to wait for whatever dizziness to subside. Kaz blew out a slow breath, hand clasped tight around the rag.
Jesper stepped out of the way as he found his way to the mirror. Even Kaz had to suppress a hiss as he took in his appearance. No wonder he kept getting asked if he was fine. He was pale, making the bruise stand out like a blotch of ink. Lingering on it no longer, he dabbed at the wound, flinching with every touch. It burned, of course, but that was nothing compared to the headache pulsing through his skull.
He tried to keep the little twitches and hitches to a minimum. At least while he had eyes on him. Not that it mattered, Jesper had already witnessed far worse in the few minutes he'd been up there.
It was actually relieving, how well Kaz cleaned up. Well, there was still that betraying bruise smudged across his head, but other than that, it didn’t look so bad anymore. Looks, however, could be deceiving. No matter how well Kaz tidied up the outside, he still let the little sways and winces slide. Jesper was sure he really should not be standing as casually as he was. It was all for show. Why couldn’t he let his guard down once in a while? It was hard to watch the way his shoulders remained stiff, as if anticipating having to grab on to anything he could before he could fall over. In fact, his hand would occasionally hover just near the edge of the vanity, fingers practically tracing it.
“Maybe you should sit back down?” Jesper suggested with narrowed eyes.
Kaz’s jaw tightened and he turned - a slow, mechanical movement. “I’m fine.”
And I’m a sun summoner…
He leaned back, hands firm against the wooden surface. What was supposed to be a suave posture was more of a desperate attempt to cover up his need for the support. Even from a distance, Jesper could make out the slight tremor in his arms. “I want you to tell me agai-” He trailed off and took a deep, unsteady breath. “Want you to tell me…” Again, he paused and closed his eyes.
Jesper released an exasperated sigh and put his foot down: both figuratively and metaphorically. “No. I’m not repeating myself over and over again.” He crossed his arms in resolution. “You’re clearly struggling just to stand. And if I tell you now, you’ll forget again in a few minutes most likely.”
“I haven’t forgotten anything, Jesper.”
“Well, then you didn’t hear me. Whatever the case, it doesn’t matter, it’s still going to involve me saying the same thing over and over again.” He half expected Kaz to lash out at him, to argue, to chastise. But there was nothing. “I think you need to lie down for a bit. I can handle this for a little while. You trust me, right?”
Jesper wasn’t a fan of the lack of a response.
“Ok, fine, don’t answer that. Do you think we have the time to go in circles, or would you prefer I just head back down while you stay up here - preferably not standing - and make whatever plots you can muster. Sound like a good deal? And I’ll be back in, let’s say an hour, to tell you everything I have.” His brows raised in wait.
Kaz’s jaw flexed and he pushed himself away from the vanity. For a moment, his posture was pristine. If Jesper didn’t know any better, he’d believe his boss had made a full recovery right there on the spot. The only thing that gave it away was the lingering tension in his shoulders.
“Please, just trust me on this.”
It was reluctant, but Kaz averted his gaze with a soft sigh. Then, stiffly, he hobbled back over to his desk and dropped himself with a little less grace than usual. He waved a hand. “Do as you wish.”
It may not have seemed like much, but to Jesper, that was the same as Kaz taking someone’s advice and compliance in his own way.
“Yes, boss.” The sharpshooter spun on his toe. “I won’t be long. And remember, take it easy, stay right there, and for the love of Saints, stay away from the stairs.” Whatever signature glare was cast his way, he wasn’t facing Kaz to see it. He called back over his shoulder, “And you better be right there where I left you or I’m shooting you in the leg… the good one!”
The moment Jesper was out of sight, Kaz let his shoulders relax and carefully placed his head against the desk. It was cool, at least, so that offered a little relief. He would never admit it, but sometimes, maybe the others made some valid points.