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Lan Qiren drags his eyes away as Yu Ziyuan comfortably sits herself on the meadow of Back Mountain. She dropped by with her two attendants to greet the clan as her night hunt led to Gusu Lan's area. It was only proper after all.
Now Lan Qiren is stuck tending to her for the day because as a Young Lady of a rather prominent clan, Gusu must welcome her as such. And they sent the best they had to deal with her, which is Lan Qiren.
Lan Qiren turns to scan the area. Sometimes there are bunnies that wander in here. He hopes he'll be able to see one.
"What? Nothing to say, Lan Qiren?" Yu Ziyuan's low voice cuts through the silence, her slim fingers pinching, breaking off strands of grass.
Lan Qiren frowns. "Stop that. We don't play with plants like that here."
The woman raises a brow, but drops the bits of grass as she raises her hand in mock surrender. "I do hope you have more to say to me than just that. At the very least, on the basis of our friendship during our study years."
Lan Qiren takes a seat, taking his time to arrange his robes properly. Finally, once the last wrinkle settles into place, he says, "It's good to see you're doing well. And so lively."
Yu Ziyuan is often heard going on night hunts, sometimes with her sworn sister Yang Furong or simply with her attendants, Jinzhu and Yinzhu. Sometimes she teams up with other cultivators in the area, one notable occasion being with Jiang Fengmian and the infamous Cangse Sanren.
"That's it?" she scoffs, delicate features wrinkling into a scowl.
Lan Qiren waits because he knows, while Yu Ziyuan is quite good at making people talk, she also has less patience than him at these things. And she knows that too.
"I might be getting married to Jiang Fengmian soon."
And there it was, the elephant in the room. Or meadow.
Lan Qiren swallows and bites his cheek, trying to muster up the proper feelings. He's known this news since the talks started. "Congratulations." He tries to mean it, he really does. Lying is prohibited in Cloud Recesses after all.
"Is it?" Yu Ziyuan shifts, her teal robes shifting with her. "Are you?"
Lan Qiren meets her gaze head on, holding it steady for only a moment before he's forced to look to the side. "Am I what?" he remembers to use his words.
"Congratulating me? Sincerely?" she presses, knowing full well that he is not allowed to lie. Won't allow himself to lie.
Lan Qiren stays quiet, watching the magnolia tree scatter petals with the rush of wind. Finally, he manages. "If you are happy with the match."
Yu Ziyuan hums a satisfied note, seemingly more patient with this conversation than she's been with everything in her entire life. "I don't know. Fengmian and I are... not bad. But I thought I got along with you more."
Lan Qiren stiffens, folding his hands under his robes to avoid clenching them.
She goes on. "We were quite good study partners. I never had the taste for joking around and lazing about like Fengmian and Jin Guangshan did."
"Wouldn't that be better? Jin Guangshan and Jiang Fengmian being friends?" Lan Qiren points out. It is a well known fact that Yang Furong is set to marry Jin Guangshan in the coming months.
It would be something of a fairytale, a perfect match, for two sworn sisters to marry two Sect Heirs who are friends.
"Is it? Are they?" Yu Ziyuan wrinkles her nose again. She changes position to stretch out her long legs. "If they really are friends, that's saying something about Jiang Fengmian. Don't you think?"
Again with her directing questions to him, Lan Qiren sighs. It does remind him of their study days, when they spent time together in the library to go over material, quizzing each other and grading each other's reports.
Yu Ziyuan's even got her hair in the two bun on the sides of her head like before, the style making her look younger. A strand of gold ornament settles neatly between the buns, a piece of jewelry that he remembers from their school days.
"I wouldn't know," he declines to comment, hesitating to speak the next part, "If you are unsatisfied with the match -"
"It's not a set match. I said I might be marrying him," the woman interrupts, knowing full well of the rules in Cloud Recesses. Lan Qiren frowns but lets it go to ask.
"Might? What do you mean by that?"
Yu Ziyuan shrugs. "My grandmother is offering the Jiangs choice between er-jie and I. She's pushing for them to choose me though, because I'm san-niang."
San-niang is a common name for her, referring to being the 3rd daughter of Meishan Yu's main clan.
"And because they know I want power. They know I want to lead," she goes on. "But my da-jie will lead Meishan Yu. So they're picking me to get rid of future disputes."
Lan Qiren frowns but that is quite reasonable. Wouldn't that be the best solution? Both sides getting what they want? Yunmeng Jiang's clan has no other heir except Jiang Fengmian, after all.
"Are you," he starts slowly, finding his words as he speaks, "unsatisfied with the reason? Or you don't want to go to Yunmeng?"
Yu Ziyuan's hand moves to pick at the grass again, but a look from him has her stilling her hand. She twists the ring at her hand instead, a new addition since they last saw each other. A heirloom gifted to her, a powerful spiritual weapon, deadly in the right hands. Zidian.
"There is my er-jie. She's more suited for homemaking, but she's rather introverted. Gentle. My grandmother worries she won't be able to adjust to Yunmeng's climate and Yunmeng Jiang's rougher ways. What do you think?"
Lan Qiren feels caught between a boulder and a hard place. Usually the other is straightforward, proper but direct, she is not one for mind games. "Yunmeng's climate is not that different from Meishan. And Jiang Fengmian is a rather gentle soul, he won't allow harm to come to her."
"Right?" Yu Ziyuan hums noncommittally. "They say Jiang Fengmian might choose me. Only because he knows me better."
Lan Qiren nods. Of course Jiang Fengmian will choose Yu Ziyuan. A marriage is better if you at least know the person beforehand.
"It is unofficial though. If I get married to someone else before, say a marriage proposal specifically for me, Grandmother might only offer them er-jie. She'll be happy to get rid of me from Meishan either way."
Lan Qiren’s mind whirs to catch up at the sudden turn in conversation. "The marriage proposal should be on par with the Jiang's. Someone from the five great clans."
Is she implying? Is she -
"Yes," Yu Ziyuan turns her gaze on him and Lan Qiren knows. "I suppose so."
Lan Qiren knows what she's asking. What she's not asking.
"I do not know anyone who would be ready for such a thing."
A curl of the small mouth. "Do you not?"
He does. It's him. He should not lie, he will take his punishment after she leaves.
They've never mentioned it but there definitely was a spark between them in the library. The courtyard, watching each other complete drills of their own styles. The night hunts they shared, watching out for each other.
A memorable one was when they chased after a beast in Kuizhou. Lan Feiman was furious when he found them, berating Lan Qiren for running off. Yu Ziyuan, clad in Lan Qiren's outer robe because her robes tore indecently and leaning heavily against a tree because she broke her leg in the attack, yelled back, arguing that Lan Feiman was in the wrong for leaving them alone in the first place. They sent up a flare and had done everything according to protocol after all.
Lan Qiren's heart warms at the memory. It was perhaps the first time that someone stood up for him, him usually preferring to stay silent and accept the punishment.
He still got the punishment when he went back to Gusu, holding books over his head. Yu Ziyuan is escorted back to Meishan Yu, since it was closer to Kuizhou, but he heard after the bare minimum of her injuries healed, she was also made to sit, her bad leg elevated and holding books over her head.
"Well?" Yu Ziyuan prompts, leaning forward, and Lan Qiren realizes his silence has been too long.
"I do not," he confirms. He cannot. It is impossible, especially with the state that the Lan clan is in after his brother married the rogue cultivator.
They don't live in the same house but his brother visits her frequently. The rogue cultivator is confirmed to be pregnant, three months in now. His brother has shown his face less and less in meetings, delegating more of his duties to Qiren. There's talk of his brother going into seclusion, though his brother himself hasn't said anything.
If that happens, in the worst case scenario, Lan Qiren will take over most of the duties. The action will reflect badly on the main clan. To request for a marriage in the midst of this chaos - to request for the hand of one of the daughters of Meishan, of san-niang in fact - Lan Qiren cannot.
"Really." Yu Ziyuan's voice grows colder, her stare piercing at the side of his head. "None at all?"
"None from the Lan clan," he amends. "Certainly not with the situation right now. But perhaps from the Nie clan. Or the Wens."
He grimaces at the thought, remembering how the Wens have been acting up nowadays. Perhaps not the Wens.
Yu Ziyuan slumps back to her original position and sighs. "I had hoped I could keep wearing blues instead of purple. But perhaps not."
Lan Qiren eyes the dark teal Meishan Yu robes and the turquoise outer robe. "One could argue that Meishan's colors are more green than blue."
She makes a tsk noise and snaps. "Should I go to the Nies?”
Lan Qiren grimaces. Now that it was said aloud, his implication certainly is ridiculous. He didn't mean that. And the Nies' situation wasn't much better than the Lans, since the Second Nie Furen passed away and talk of Sect Leader Nie's qi deviation being the cause.
Lan Qiren drags a hand over his face. "I didn't mean that." Didn’t want that.
"What did you mean then, Qiren?"
"I don't know. What do you mean then, Ziyuan?" he counters.
"I'm asking you."
He thinks carefully about how to clarify things. Yu Ziyuan certainly knows of some rumors though the Lan clan have tried to keep the situation tight lipped.
“Yunmeng’s palate will suit you better.”
“Eating spicy food all the time is unhealthy.”
"I might have more responsibilities. If my brother... is incapacitated." He does not know what will happen when the child is born. The child will become the heir, if his brother still holds the Sect Leader mantle. But will he?
"I'm aware. Did you forget the part where I said I wanted to lead?" Yu Ziyuan huffs.
"I will not be able to tend to you."
“I don't need tending to.” She raises her chin in defiance. "I am a cultivator and I don’t intend to play damsel in distress once I get married. I fully intend to keep going on night hunts with Jinzhu and Yinzhu."
That is fine. He does not intend to cage her. Not like his brother. It will help to have a face of the Lan clan out helping people, even if it is not a face of the Lan clan.
“You’re welcome to join us, of course. As friends.” Or other, she does not say.
Lan Qiren turns to properly face her. "You will not have a title. Not a proper one, even if you complete all the duties."
She raises an eyebrow pointedly. "I will not have a title if you do not have a title."
Lan Qirem frowns. Is she asking him to -
"And I think you deserve a title if you are completing all the duties."
Lan Qiren feels a curl of anger at her. Him? Take the title away from his brother? He knows what will happen if he does. The rogue cultivator, punished. His brother, punished with no power to resist. Because Lan Qiren took that power.
"I'm not heartless,” Yu Ziyuan corrects, voice uncharacteristically small. She twists the ring some more. “I’m saying you should ask Sect Leader Lan. Talk directly and figure it out. Let him become a rogue cultivator if he wants."
His brother? A rogue cultivator? If he did ask, and his brother did give, he could - he could banish them as punishment. To never come back to Cloud Recesses. But they will be alive. "There is a child. They will be born in 6 months. The heir."
They cannot lose the heir.
Yu Ziyuan looks at him unimpressed and - oh, if he's going to take up the mantle and request for her hand in marriage then - oh. His mouth goes dry.
"Perhaps ask yourself if such a child will want to grow up in these circumstances. Or removed from them." Yu Ziyuan stands up, dusting off any stray bits of grass on her form. She reaches a hand into her robes, searching for a moment before withdrawing with a jade token.
Lan Qiren's eyes widen.
"And next time, if you don't intend to make good on your promises, don't make them." She tosses the token down to him, warm from her body heat, and makes her way down the path. "I'm going back to Meishan tomorrow morning."
"Wait, I'll walk you back," Lan Qiren scrambles to stand up.
She waves a hand without turning around. "Don't bother. I know my way around here quite well. Stay here and think."
He thinks quickly. “It will take a while! To talk through to the Elders and my brother. I may not - " he cuts himself off, desperately searching for words to elaborate on his struggles.
"I'll be waiting for your letter, Qiren" She disappears around the corner.
Lan Qiren thumbs the token. Here his name is carved in it . He can feel the scratch ruining the other side of the surface with his index finger, an attempted start of a hu radical carved into it.
He thought he lost it during a night hunt, had gone into a panic because the token had charms attached to it to allow the person to bypass all the wards, to notify the person if the wards were bypassed and more. The minute he found it missing, he had notified the clan to take down the spells connected to his token.
The jade token he has in his hands now is merely a token.
Lan Qiren remembers now.
Lan Qiren's only drank twice in his life.
The first time was with his brother, when they were younger and stayed after curfew with a change of clothes to take a sip of wine at a nearby inn. They stumbled back, giggling over their low tolerance and got reprimanded the very next day.
The second time is at an inn in Langya, with Yu Ziyuan, Cangse Sanren and Jiang Fengmian, after separate night hunts led them to group together. Cangse Sanren, somehow knowing of expensive wines even though she lived in the mountains her whole life, ordered a round for everyone and insisted they all at least take a sip of the expensive wine. Lan Qiren, pressured to do so, did so.
He immediately got drunk, and woke up the next day with a pounding headache, his goatee (something he was trying back then to look older) shaved off and his token missing.
He remembers that night now, left alone with Yu Ziyuan after Jiang Fengmian and Cangse Sanren left in search for more varieties of wine.
Lan Qiren had pressed his token into her hand, drunk on wine and lingering feelings to promise her that she could come see him at Cloud Recesses whenever she wanted, to ask him whatever she wanted. When she tried to return it to him, he'd then used his sword to attempt carving her name - if it has her name on it, it is hers - only getting as far as the roof of the hu radical, not even to the qi part, before he fell asleep.
**
Yu Ziyuan wakes up to see Jinzhu accepting letters from the maid outside. She takes her time getting dressed with Yinzhu, eating breakfast with her sisters before coming back to her room to open them.
There is a lengthy scroll from Yang Furong along with a wedding invitation to Lanling Jin. There is a notice from her grandmother about the change in her duties, and a request from the trainers to supervise a nighthunt.
Then at the bottom of the pile is one from Gusu, scroll carefully wrapped in white cloth. It's been two weeks since her last visit.
She opens it to see the letter tied with a white ribbon.
Opening the letter, Yu Ziyuan smiles.