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It was Christmas time in Shiganshina, a comforting time in the middle of the underlying issue that the citizens constantly faced- the titans on the other side of the wall. The snow fell from the starlit sky, lighting up the city in a reflective glow. From the top of the wall, as cold as it was up there, the sight was breathtaking. The glow of candles in the house windows casted a blissfully soft glow to the outside eye. The world seemed perfect in every way.
Commander Erwin and Captain Levi agreed that the Scouts would take some time off of their mission for the sacred holiday, because “there are always going to be titans,” they said. So the team stayed back in the house that they reclaimed and restored for times just like this. The dining hall was cheerful on that snowy evening and made everyone feel warm inside.
“Eren, you should eat more. You have to keep up your energy even if we are taking a break for the next few days.” Mikasa said, pushing a bowl of soup and bread in front of him.
“Mikasa, stop babying me! You’re not my mother, you know!” Eren protested, shoving her arm away.
“You know why I do this. I promised your mother-”
“Yeah, yeah, you promised my mom that you’d protect me.” Eren slumped in his chair, taking a huge bite of bread. Mikasa smiled out of the corner of her face, pleased with her ways of persuasion.
Armin sat across from his friends, grinning at their antics. He knew from the moment he met Mikasa that she loved Eren. Her eyes said it all; they were possessive and watchful. She cared about him so much, even if she never openly said it. And it was written in Eren’s eyes as well- Armin saw the way he looked at her when he thought nobody else was looking. Eren loved Mikasa, and it had always been that way. It was unlike anything Armin had ever seen. But he knew deep in his heart that he wanted something like that.
He observed the room, taking in everything. It smelled like home, filling his stomach with warmth. He saw everyone having a good time together, and it brought him happiness. This was the way life should be inside the walls. Free of worry. Free of fear. Free.
Armin’s eyes caught a glance of Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie in the corner of the room. Reiner looked like he was teasing her, and she was flushed red. Bertholt looked unamused and turned his gaze outside to the snowfall. Armin’s chest held a steady beat as he kept his eyes on Annie. Her hair was pulled into a loose bun that fell at the nape of her neck, with loose wisps of hair framing her face. Her eyes were softened. The smallest of smiles graced her lips.
“She’s so pretty…” Armin thought secretly.
“Hey, Armin. Just go up to her.” Eren encouraged him, unsuccessfully. It was clear that Armin was daydreaming.
“Hey, Armin?” Eren waved a hand in front of his face.
“Hm?” he broke out of his daze and looked at Eren, heart beating erratically.
“I said you should go up to Annie. Just talk to her.”
“Why?” he asked nervously. Could Eren read his mind or something?
“I know you like her. You should talk to her more often.” Eren smiled.
“What? I don’t like her!” Armin protested, afraid that he was found out.
“Pfft, liar.” Mikasa chimed in, grinning widely. She liked seeing Armin fall in love. It was refreshing- his face was finally pulled out of those books.
Armin felt his face blush. He felt so nervous. It’s not even that he’d never spoken to Annie before- they’ve talked loads of times. Of course he liked her. He admired her fierceness and strength. She was kind to him. He liked that she was able to talk to him about the things that were on her mind. She would give him fighting pointers, and advice. She was strong and independent. And mesmerizing. She had such a glorious smile- he could recognize it anywhere.
“Okay.” Armin took a deep breath and got up from his seat. He was nervous but he did feel a spark of confidence in his walk toward Annie and her gang. He fixed his eyes on her as he approached closer. The noise of his peers drowned out the heartbeat that rang in his ears.
“Hey, Armin, what’s going on? We were just talking about you.” Reiner smirked at Annie, who avoided his face. Her ears turned pink with embarrassment.
The poor blonde boy chose to ignore him, because if he paid him any mind, he would get distracted and mess up what he wanted to say.
“Annie,” he began. “Would you meet me outside in 15 minutes? I have to talk to you about something.”
Her bright blue eyes widened in surprise. “Okay.” Her voice was quiet.
Armin leaned in closer and whispered something to her. “Bring your ODM gear. Just do it, okay?”
He turned on his heel, feeling his face heat up from his nerves. Ignoring his friends, he made a beeline for the kitchen and then his room.
Those 15 minutes were the most anxious 15 minutes he’d ever experienced. What would he say? He was overthinking and he knew it. He didn’t want to look stupid or ruin his conversation with Annie. He didn’t even know why he felt so nervous, because their conversations normally flowed.
He stood in the soft snow, touching the powder on the ground. It was cold. It was rare that Shiganshina had snowy winters, but he was overtaken with wonder at the sight. It felt magical. It was easy to forget what horrors laid beyond the wall.
“Armin.”
Annie stood in front of him wearing her ODM gear and a thick beige wool sweater. She seemed nervous, but he couldn’t imagine why. He had to tear his eyes away from her because she looked so beautiful. Her clothing had nothing to do with it- she was just magnetic.
“Annie, come with me. I want to show you something.” He flew off into the sky, and she followed right after him. She saw the stars reflect in his golden hair, and her heart sped up. This time of night really suited him nicely.
Ice cold wind blew in their ears, bringing a new kind of pain in the midst of the beauty that this snowy winter brought. They swiftly flew into the night like birds. The sharp wind cut their cheeks and stung their eyes. Tears spilled down their faces, and they arrived on the top of Wall Maria completely breathless.
Annie watched as Armin set down the things that he kept on his back. He started a fire with some sticks and kindle. It burned brightly. She kept her eyes on him curiously, wondering what he was doing. Why had he asked her to come? What was his purpose for doing all this?
“What are you doing?” She asked quietly, taking Armin by surprise. She was normally more rough in her speech.
“I’m lighting a fire so we don’t get cold up here, obviously.” he smiled at her warmly. He proceeded to set a blanket on the ground, and gestured for her to sit next to him. “Come sit, Annie. I want to show you something great.”
She took her seat next to him, and her nerves fired off in every direction. She couldn’t understand how Armin was so nice to her all the time. Everyone was weary of her. He was always one step ahead of her, of course. Annie watched Armin some more, and with every passing second, she felt more intrigued.
Her gaze followed his finger that pointed below to the city of Shiganshina, and she gasped.
“Armin, that’s an amazing view! I’ve never seen anything like it before. The candles light up the whole city...it looks like fireflies took over the land,” Annie smiled softly. “Just imagine… if titans didn’t exist and all we had to worry about were fireflies.”
Armin watched as a solemn expression grew on her face. He hated seeing her like this. He silently wished to be the one to make her smile as genuinely as possible.
“Annie...I really believe that one day we will have a day when there will be no more titans, and we will only need to worry about fireflies. I have a dream, you know.”
“And what’s that?” She turned her face to him, eyes bright from the fire.
“Eren and I...we always talked about going beyond the wall. Venturing into the outside world. I’ve read about the ocean. A giant expanse of water that stretches for miles and miles. The water is so full of salt that the people of Shiganshina would have everything they need and beyond. And I’ve read that it’s so blue that it reflects the sky on the clearest day. I’ve read that it sparkles like a night sky in the middle of the day.” Armin laid on his back and looked up at the sky. It was clear tonight. A million stars lit up the wall.
“Just like that.” Annie whispered, as she pointed to the stars above them.
Armin looked over at her admiring the view in the sky. “Yeah, just like that.”
They stayed side by side, sitting in thoughtful silence as the cold breeze blew by without a care. Armin’s thoughts were interrupted by the small sound of shivering. Annie pulled her knees close to her chest- although she had a sweater, she still didn’t have a scarf.
“Here, let me give you an extra blanket.” He reached over and grabbed his fleece, draping it over her shoulders tightly. He grabbed his thermos and poured tea for the two of them.
Her eyes were full of tears. She was crying.
“What’s wrong, Annie?” Armin asked softly, putting the cup in her hands.
“I don’t know…” She sniffed. “I miss my father. He’d be proud to see what I’ve accomplished. I might seem hard like diamonds, but I’m just as broken as everyone else. I just want to survive.”
Armin felt for her deeply. He understood how it felt to miss parents. He could relate completely. His heart went out to her.
“I understand.”
The silence was overwhelming. He wanted to say something , but what could he say? He wanted to touch her face and hold her- to make her feel some sort of comfort. He wanted so badly to be the one that she could rely on. He kept his eyes on her. She sipped the tea slowly, steadying her breath. Her cheeks were turning red from the cold.
“Armin, can you come here?” Annie said quietly, staring at the ground.
“Oh, um, of course.” Armin shifted closer to her side.
“A little closer.”
He moved closer to Annie’s side until their legs touched. He felt his heart skip a beat. He had never been this close to her before. He wondered what was going through her mind.
“I’m still cold, Armin. Just put your arms around me for a little while.” Her cheeks blushed, going unnoticed by Armin, whose blushing face also went unnoticed.
He wrapped his arms around her tightly, feeling so happy to be so close to her. He could smell her hair- it smelled like bell flowers. Armin wondered if she could hear his heart thumping in his chest. All he knew was that he was in love. He wanted her close to him forever. He wanted to protect her and keep her safe. He wanted to give her everything so she had a good and easy life.
“Is this better? Are you warm?” Armin’s voice was gentle and steady.
“Yes, thanks.”
It was silent up on Wall Maria. The only sounds Annie and Armin could hear were the faint chatter of townspeople below, and the crackling of the fire next to them. It was perfect. Armin’s heart swelled with pride.
“Anytime you want, Annie.” he whispered, watching as she snuggled closer to his chest.
They watched the town below, spotting Eren and Mikasa walking close together near their old house. Armin watched their hands slowly connect, feeling a tug in his chest. He watched Mikasa get closer to Eren as he kissed her head. They were family to each other. Armin wanted that so badly. He glanced down at Annie, whose hands were red from the cold. He fought with his entire body not to take them into his.
Of course he couldn’t resist. He needed to feel her. Taking her hands, Annie immediately sat upright in shock.
“What are you doing, Armin?” She said, surprised. She hoped he didn’t see how all the blood rushed into her face.
“Your hands are cold...I’m just warming them up for you. I don’t want you to get cold, okay?” he said softly, bringing her hands to his lips. They were freezing. But they were smooth and delicate. It blew Armin’s mind that such feminine hands were capable of such destruction. He loved that about her. He blew hot breath into her hands, rubbing them together for friction.
Annie watched as Armin displayed such a kind gesture to her. She didn’t understand. There wasn’t anything about her that merited kindness like this. She had to know why.
“Armin, why did you ask me to come up here with you tonight?”
He paused, keeping her hands held tightly in his, wondering how to tell her. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing. “I...I wanted to be alone with you, Annie.”
Armin studied her face, running his thumb over her palm. For a moment, he forgot how to breathe- watching Annie’s eyes grow wider with each passing moment.
“But...why?”
“You’re beautiful.”
“I’m a monster who kills people like it’s nothing, Armin.” She blushed, but tears flowed from her eyes like a fountain. “I’m nothing special.”
“Of course you are! You’re one of our strongest members! You’re an inspiration to me, honestly. I brought you up here tonight, because I wanted to share this new perspective with you.” he wiped her tears away with his hands, hugging her close to him. “Annie, I've been meaning to be alone with you for a long time now. I just wanted to find a good time to tell you...I love you.”
He felt her stiffen in his arms. He wondered if she was still breathing. She lifted her head to meet his eyes. The moonlight reflected in them, and they drew her in more and more. She paused, taking in everything she felt here with Armin- she felt warm, safe, and held. Her heart beat quickly, and Armin could feel it. Their hearts raced together and soon enough they were in sync with one another.
“Armin...I don’t understand how you could love someone like me. I don’t feel worthy.” Annie gazed into his eyes, smiling happily. “But I accept it. I want you to know that I love you too.”
Armin let out a relieved laugh, intertwining their fingers together. “I love you.” He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and he blushed as she leaned into his touch.
They watched galaxies from the swirling moonlight and stars reflect as they stared into each other’s eyes. Armin’s breath hitched as Annie placed a warm hand on his cheek. She watched as his eyes travelled down to her lips, leaning in a little closer. He traced a finger along her cheek, stroking along her jaw. She gasped as he pulled her in with the most gentle touch of his thumb on her lip. She could see his skin clearly- his face was so close.
Armin wanted to admire her face for as long as possible. She was so pretty. Her eyes, captivating. Her nose, absolutely charming. Her skin, polished and smooth. Her lips, so soft looking. He had done his waiting, though. He just wanted to kiss her. It’s been too long since he’d held his feelings back.
Armin’s hand found its way to the back of Annie’s head, guiding her to himself, and she obliged. It felt like an eternity passed before their lips met halfway, soft brushing against each other. They kissed softly, feeling comfort and solace in their embrace. Annie smiled into the kiss and wrapped her arms around him. His grasp only tightened on her- he didn’t want to let go of her.
They forgot the dangers that awaited them in the following days to come. In the moment, they ignored their internal pain. They welcomed all peace that they found in each other’s company up on that wall. Annie and Armin lost themselves in each other during those few hours they spent above the city.
Breaking apart, Armin looked into Annie’s eyes, pressing his forehead against hers, always holding her close. His face blushed. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.”
“I think I have an idea.” Annie smiled widely.
Armin buried his face in her shoulder, so glad that the space between them was finally closed. “Annie, I have another dream.”
“What is it?” She locked her fingers with his.
“I’m gonna make sure that you get to see that ocean. We’ll go see it together. I want you with me when we find it.”
Annie watched Armin’s eyes reach into her soul. If the ocean really was as blue as he said it was, that meant that his eyes matched. She wanted to see it for herself.
“I want to see the ocean with you too, Armin. I’ve made it my new dream.” She smiled.
Armin’s hand squeezed hers tightly, making her feel as warm as possible. Comfort bloomed in her chest, and they rested on Wall Maria together, watching the candlelit city in peace while their hearts beat in perfect unity.