Archive of Our Own ^beta

Neither of them could remember exactly when their occasional coffee dates became a regular, weekly occurrence, but it was too late to put a stop to it now. How were they supposed to get through the week without having someone to complain and get caffeinated with? How were they supposed to put up with all the bullshit in their personal lives without having at least one thing to look forward to every Saturday? They had unknowingly created an interaction that was too addictive to quit, so there was no point in even suggesting the idea of stopping it at this point.

Both Slade and Dick knew this without ever having to speak about it. Or, more truthfully, they had come to an unspoken agreement about it, because neither of them wanted to admit that they enjoyed seeing each other so often. That’s how they ended up meeting with each other for coffee every Saturday morning for the past two years. Generally, they met during the late morning, since Dick wasn’t much of an early riser. Then, they would order their drinks, a pastry or two, and commence spilling whatever was on their minds for at least three hours. Sometimes four, but those were only during rough weeks where they both had a lot to unload.

The mercenary couldn’t even remember why or when he started feeling comfortable gossiping with the little hero. Dick insisted it was his “alluring gay best friend energy”, which Slade initially scoffed at, but was beginning to wonder how much truth the statement held. He had never spoken with a single person this much in his entire life, even including his lifelong friend Wintergreen. There was something about those damn blue eyes staring him down, inviting him to be open and vulnerable. Those too kind eyes, they promised so much relief for a man who had spent half of his life keeping everything to himself. 

So this was Slade’s life now, and he was surprisingly okay with that. 

“How’s life going for my favorite mercenary?” The acrobat teased, dipping his tongue into the whipped cream that topped his frappuccino. Dick always went for the sweeter drinks.

Slade took a sip from his glass of cold brew before answering, “I’m your favorite? I’m honored.”

They grinned at each other, sinking into easy banter as usual.

“You should be, I actually know quite a few mercenaries, and somehow you inched your way to the top of the list.” Dick sunk further into the soft chair he was sitting in, bringing his legs up to touch his chest. He always struggled with sitting normal for any period of time, Slade noticed.

“Again, I’m honored. What did I do to earn your favor over all of the other mercenaries in your life?” Slade humored him.

“I can’t tell you, otherwise it would be an unfair advantage over the other competitors.” Dick shook his head woefully. 

“Is it because I buy you muffins?” The mercenary offered. He smirked as the hero’s eyes went wide with disbelief.

“Absolutely not! I’m hurt that you think I would be so easily swayed.”

Slade brought his hand up to scratch at his goatee, feigning curiosity. “What if I bought you two muffins?” 

Dick pondered this, too seriously perhaps, for a solid minute before nodding slowly at the older man across from him. “You drive a hard bargain, but fine. You’ve secured your place for next month’s ranking.” 

“Giving into bribery so easily, Grayson? I’m a bit disappointed.” Slade huffed, but stood up and left for the counter. He returned a few seconds later with another muffin in tow, which he set down firmly in front of Dick, next to his first muffin.

“Disappointed, yet you still bought it for me. Are you that worried about losing your place in my heart?” 

Slade rolled his eye but he couldn’t hide the smile that spread across his face. “Terrified. The thought keeps me up at night.” 

“That’s a shame to hear, Wilson.” Dick replied back with mock concern, picking up the muffin that Slade had just purchased for him and holding it out kindly to the older man. “May I offer you a muffin for your troubles?” 

Slade snorted but accepted the muffin, immediately breaking off a piece and popping it into his mouth. He didn’t really believe in eating something so sweet this early in the day, but he was willing to make an exception if it meant he got to watch Dick’s dramatic reaction.

“Are you eating SUGAR?” The younger man gasped, as if on cue. He reached over and placed his palm against Slade’s forehead. “Are you running some sort of fever? Or did you get your head kicked in last night?” 

The mercenary swatted his hand away, chuckling. “Your genuine concern almost makes it worth the calories. Can’t I enjoy something sweet every once in a while?”

Dick’s worried expression quickly faded into something more agitated. “No, you can’t, actually. Not when you lecture me all the time about my diet, Mister My-Body-Is-A-Temple.” 

Slade took another bite of his muffin, savoring the way that it made Dick’s features become grumpier in turn.

“Your body could be a temple too, if you stopped filling it with shit.” 

“Hey,” Dick warned, waving a finger at the man across from him, “My body is a fun temple. Built upon the foundation of delicious treats. Your temple is full of Raisin Bran and, I don’t know, broccoli? No one is going to want to visit your temple, Slade.” 

“I’m surprised you remembered the name of a vegetable, considering you haven’t seen one in three years.” 

“Oh, shut up!” Dick groaned, stuffing his face with his own muffin as if to prove a point. With a full mouth, he asked, “You gonna tell me how your week has been or are you just going to keep offending me?”

“Both.” Slade replied playfully, “My week has been fine, and you’re gross.” 

Dick stuck his tongue out, showcasing the chewed up muffin in his mouth. Slade gave him his best disgusted look, but it dissolved into the man shaking his head, smiling at the ridiculousness of the situation. 

The hero was surely immature and goofy, but the mercenary enjoyed his company regardless. In fact, the younger man’s laid-back nature was quite soothing to someone as serious as Slade. He often needed to be reminded that it was okay to loosen up every once in a while. To stop and reflect on how his week was going, what he was feeling. These were things Slade tended to overlook when he was alone. Dick always had a way of bringing it out of him, though. 

For instance, the hero was incredibly pushy and didn’t respect his boundaries.

“Have you had sex recently?” The acrobat asked casually, as if to prove Slade’s point.

The older man nearly dropped his muffin and his jaw at the same time, but thankfully schooled his features before giving Dick the satisfaction of catching him by surprise.

“I…” Slade let out an exasperated breath, staring at the hero quizzically. “I won’t lie, Grayson, I’m too shocked to come up with anything witty. How the fuck did you know?” 

Dick shrugged, sipping his coffee again. “You just seem different. Your body language is more relaxed, but there’s definitely something on your mind too. I mean, you’re eating sugar for god’s sake.” The younger man leaned forward in his seat, changing his legs into a crossed position this time. He was clearly intrigued. “So my guess is that you fucked someone, but you’re stressed about it?”

The mercenary was uncomfortable, for obvious reasons, but also because of the fact that Dick was able to read him so easily. Was Slade losing his poker face? His edge? Did he just wear his emotions on his sleeve now, for everyone to see and use against him?

“Slade, stop freaking out. If I have to explain to you that my adoptive father is a world-famous detective one more time, I’m going to start earnestly worrying that your age is catching up to you. I deducted that information from years of knowing you, and a miniscule change in your body language and behavior since I see you literally every week. So stop freaking out and just tell me about your booty call.” Dick scolded the older man, rolling his eyes with a level of familiarity that made Slade feel anxious. 

“I’m not sure whether to feel touched or nervous that you’re able to analyze me so clearly, little bird.” Slade admitted, catching how using his nickname made the hero squirm a bit, causing the mercenary to smirk in return. “You still get so flustered when I call you that, after all these years?”

“Shut up.” Dick grunted, turning away to hide his burning face. “It just brings up a lot of old memories, okay? Now quit avoiding the question and tell me who tickled your pickle!” The hero demanded a bit too loudly for Slade’s liking.

“I can’t fully express how much I wish you wouldn’t phrase things that way, Dick. Especially in public.”

Dick cackled, but lowered his voice as he teased the mercenary further. “Would you prefer me to ask who rode your flagpole? What greased your pan? Who’s bat cave you went spelunking in?” The hero waggled his eyebrows at the older man who seemed to be on the edge of vomiting. 

“Please stop, and I don’t like how specific that last one was considering who your father is.”

“Yeah, Bruce wasn’t a fan of it either when I ran it by him.” Dick sighed, looking bored already. “So who was the unlucky sap that got roped into bed with you?” He drank his blended drink while patiently waiting for the mercenary’s answer.

“My ex-wife.” Slade deadpanned.

The acrobat coughed, nearly dropping his beverage and spilling some onto his shirt. Slade unabashedly laughed at him as the younger man scrambled to clean off the mess before the stain set. 

He glared at Slade accusingly as he dabbed his shirt with a napkin. “You could have led the conversation with that fact! Saved me all this embarrassment.” 

“But where would be the fun in that?” Slade purred and caught the dirty napkin that Dick threw at him.

“Are you serious though? How did that happen?” 

The mercenary hummed, crossing his legs and leaning back in his seat as he spoke. “She just showed up at my door early last week. Said she wanted to give things between us a second shot.” 

The hero gaped, "She said that? Adeline Kane?! The woman who shot out your eye before taking the kids and leaving your ass all those years ago?”

“This is why I no longer attend mimosa-mondays with you. I don’t even remember telling you any of that.” Slade grumbled, feeling uncomfortable and overly exposed again.

“Oh hush, you told that to me while sober.” Dick waved his hand and shrugged, “You did get fucked up on mimosas with me afterwards, but that’s besides the point.” 

Slade felt too exhausted to roll his eye again. “No, that’s exactly my point.”

“I think you’re avoiding the real topic here, Slade. I thought your ex-wife hated you! What made her suddenly want to give things another shot?” The older man noticed that Dick looked a lot more concerned than he would have initially expected. Usually, the hero was all teasing and jokes about these kinds of subjects. Although, Slade did appreciate that Dick had enough respect to avoid making crude comments about his ex-wife.

Slade sat in silence, debating how much he wanted to tell the acrobat sitting across from him. It was a situation that was weighing heavily on his mind for the past week, but he didn’t want to admit that he had been dying to talk to Dick about it. He just didn’t have many other people he could tell these kinds of things to.

“Well… this stays between us, okay?” He hesitantly replied, making Dick snort.

“Guess I should cancel that chain email I had scheduled to send out this afternoon.” 

“Richard.” Slade warned, regretting the way that Dick flinched in response.

“Ooh, full first name. Okay, no messing around. You have my word.” The younger man claimed wholeheartedly, his bright blue eyes staring deeply into Slade’s with trust.

The older man fidgeted in his seat, unable to look his ex-nemesis in the eye. “Thank you. She… Adeline said she had just been thinking things over lately. About us, our kids, all the time lost due to anger and mistakes. My son, Joey, just found out his wife is pregnant. It got Addie wondering how she would like our first grandchild to grow up with some sense of normalcy, including having both grandparents around.” Slade watched Dick’s expression carefully, and was surprised to see the hero’s eyes soften with understanding while he spoke.

The acrobat smiled warmly at him, although something guarded lied behind his gaze. “That’s amazing news, Slade! Congrats on becoming a grandpa, I guess it’s an actual title for you now, instead of just being a nickname from me.” His usual mocking tone returned, making Slade relax. He didn’t like having such a serious tension hang in the air between them. “So is this what you want?”

“What?” The mercenary tilted his head with confusion. 

“You know, a second chance with Adeline. Is that something that you want?” Dick prodded gently. Slade hadn’t even thought about such a simple question, the answer seemed so obvious to him.

“I guess so. One of my biggest regrets in life is losing my family and… this is my opportunity for things to go back to normal.” 

The hero pursed his lips a few times, as if chewing over his words. “I mean, and I truly don’t mean to speak out of turn here, but you know it will never be the same as before, right?” 

Slade attempted to avoid bristling at the other man’s statement but felt himself tensing nonetheless. “Of course I know that.” He snapped, and again felt a pang of guilt as Dick winced. Why did the kid have to look like such a kicked puppy every time Slade got upset with him? The older man sighed and rubbed his temples as he practiced his patience. “Sorry, I understand what you’re trying to say. I know things won’t be the same as when we first got together, but they could be close. And this time, it will be built upon being completely honest with each other. No secrets. So in a way, it could be even better.” 

Dick was still looking incredibly distressed, but did his best to smile at the mercenary. “That’s great, Slade. I’m really happy for you! I hope you’re happy too.” The two men watched each other then, communicating only with their eyes. Dick was obviously concerned, but trying to support his older friend regardless. On the other hand, Slade was upset with feeling so vulnerable, but also desperately desired the hero’s approval of his decision to rekindle his old relationship. He was anxious about how things would go with Addie as well, although he didn’t want to verbalize it. That would make it too real, too tangible. 

Slade clenched his jaw and let out a deep breath, grabbing his abandoned coffee to continue nursing it. After a long sip, he looked back up at Dick. “Thank you, Dick.”

“Anytime, buddy.” The hero beamed at him cheekily and laughed at the tired look Slade immediately shot back. 

And so, they continued to talk about less serious matters, like usual. Yet, no matter how much they tried to move on, the previous subject hovered in the air between them. And Slade didn’t miss the way that the younger man hardened his gaze to try and hide the hurt in his soft blue eyes.

A few months had passed since that day, bringing chilly weather and undeniable change in the mercenary’s life. He and Adeline were living together now, falling into a new but familiar routine. They ate together, slept together, went on dates, and learned new things about each other like it was their first time getting to know one another all over again. They got reacquainted with each other’s old habits once more, poking at each other playfully while doing so. Things were good, but change was a trying process.

Slade felt antsy, which was an emotion he rarely dealt with. He knew it was due to the fact that he was leaving his solitary life behind, something he had grown so accustomed to for decades. It was because he had something to lose again, which sometimes kept him up at night with worry. It was because he knew he could slip up at any moment, and this perfect alternate reality would fall to pieces. It was unnerving.

Adeline was patient with him, however, so he tried his best for her. To rebuild what they once had together, he truly tried harder than he ever had in his entire life. Was it enough? He could never be sure, but he at least knew that he was happy.

He tried to express all of this at his weekly coffee dates with Dick, but it was difficult, because those had changed too. The change was subtle, but there. The acrobat always started their conversations by asking how things were going with Adeline. In addition, he stopped joking about his own flings and love life in general. Slade also noticed that the younger man seemed to pick at his muffin rather than actually eating it nowadays. 

Dick surely tried to hide it, but there was something withdrawn about him ever since the mercenary told him about reconnecting with his ex-wife. Slade didn’t know why and it frustrated him to no end. Why did things have to change, and were they changing for better or for worse? The older man felt so fulfilled yet lost with each week that passed.

One Saturday, they were finishing up their current discussion when Adeline called Slade’s phone. He shot Dick an apologetic smile before picking up.

“Hi, honey.” He answered, and noted the way that Dick tensed up a bit across from him. 

“Hey,” Adeline replied, “are you still at the coffee shop with your friend?”

“Yes, I was just about to leave though.” The mercenary tapped at the end table next to his chair absentmindedly.

Adeline cleared her throat. “You, uh, walked there, right?” 

Slade hummed, “Mhmm.” 

“Well, I, uh, am actually in the parking lot if you want a ride home?” She offered somewhat nervously, which made Slade laugh. Adeline rarely sounded unsure of herself, considering she was such a headstrong woman. 

“You’re here? But why…” Slade started but then his eyes trailed over to Dick who was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest, awkwardly glancing away. Then it finally clicked in the older man’s mind. “Ah, I see. Do you want to meet Dick?” 

He smirked as he heard Adeline huff in response, obviously irritated that Slade knew her intentions so well. Dick, on the other hand, had frozen in place and was staring at the ground with immense concentration.

“I may as well since I’m here, right? If I’m not imposing?” She asked with an edge to her voice, daring Slade to just try and deny her.

“Of course not, come inside and I’ll wave you over.” He stated and then hung up after saying a quick goodbye. He looked up at Dick again and gave an apologetic half smile, “Addie wants to meet you, I hope that’s okay.”

The hero’s eyes widened comically, “I-I need time to prepare! Oh god, what if she doesn’t like me?! I’m not even dressed cute today!” He whined while twisting back and forth in his seat, frantically looking around for the woman.

“Calm down, you look fine. I can’t promise she won’t bite though.” He warned, grinning at the way that it only made Dick squirm in his seat more. 

Slade waved his ex-wife-turned-current-girlfriend over when she walked in, and he swore he could see Dick mouthing a small prayer as he waited for her to approach them. 

“Dick, I presume?” The proud woman asked, sticking her hand out firmly in front of the acrobat. Said man smiled shakily in return and shook her hand carefully.

“You must be Adeline! It’s so nice to finally meet you.” He replied and sounded oddly relaxed. Slade assumed it stemmed from all the times he had been forced to go socialize at events with the Bat growing up. One had to develop the skill to appear friendly and confident when they were representing their billionaire father.

“You as well, I’ve been dying to meet such a good friend of my husband’s, since he makes so few.” She purred, but there was something toxic twisted within her words, and Slade caught the way that Dick’s eyes hardened when she called Slade her ‘husband’. This was not going well. “You must be something special.” She pushed further, leaning forward to, no doubt, intimidate the poor boy.

To Slade’s surprise, Dick didn’t budge but instead stood up straighter and flashed one of his best smiles at the woman. “Nonsense, I just force him to put up with me for a few hours every week. And by the way,” He reached down and held Adeline’s hands, “you are absolutely stunning. It’s no wonder Slade never stops talking about you!” 

Adeline blushed, unable to hide her shock from the genuine compliment that the young man had given her. Slade was also taken aback, absolutely enthralled to watch his ex-wife be charmed by the hero. Despite the fact that she was trying to scare him off with her possessive nature only seconds ago, Slade could see her protective nature dissipating as Dick gushed about her.

Dick wasn’t anywhere near finished with flattering her either. “Slade told me about some of the government work you do and honestly, I’m amazed he was able to find someone so beautiful, kind, and hard-working to deal with him. How do you find the patience for it all?”

The older woman laughed, pulling a hand away to brush some silvery blonde hair behind her ear. Damn, she was really letting this kid butter her up. 

“Oh, just years of practice. I can’t believe Slade has been keeping such a nice friend from me this whole time.” 

It was at that moment that Slade realized that a much younger, prettier man was nearly seducing his wife and it might be in the mercenary’s best interest to put a stop to it before the young man completely won her over. He wrapped an arm around Adeline’s waist and pulled her against him, interrupting their conversation. 

“Alright, we better head out.” He said, attempting to sound nonchalant, but neither Dick nor his ex-wife were buying it.

“What? Afraid he’ll steal me away?” Adeline responded playfully, looking up at Slade and wrapping her arm around his midsection as well. 

Slade didn’t miss a beat, “Yes.” The other two snickered at him. 

“Fine, fine. Dick, it was a pleasure to meet you.” Adeline said somewhat gently, extending her hand out to shake the hero’s once more. 

The younger man grinned coyly and held her hand, bringing it up to his lips for a quick kiss. “The pleasure was all mine, Adeline. Thank you for letting me bug your husband once a week.” There was something vulnerable about Dick in that moment, the way his heart showed so clearly through his eyes, and the way his smile faltered for just a second. If you blinked, you would miss it, but Slade saw it and he was sure Adeline noticed as well.

The older woman hummed, her voice thrumming with pride and understanding. “Of course, we’ll see you around then?” 

“It’s a date.” Dick winked at her, letting go of her hand and waved the couple off. Slade led Adeline back to her car and glanced back over his shoulder at the seating area before hopping in the passenger side.

Dick had sat back down at the table they shared that morning and was staring straight ahead distractedly, looking alone and very, very small. 

Time was flying by faster than usual, or at least that’s how Slade was experiencing it. Another two months came and went in the blink of an eye. He and Adeline had officially been back together for six months and it felt easier with each passing day. They had dedicated weekly date nights and favorite restaurants that they attended when they wanted to skip a day of cooking dinner. New hobbies emerged, ones that allowed them to spend time together but also get out of the house for a bit. They even started meeting with their son Joey and his quite pregnant wife. Slade felt like his family was being pieced back together bit by bit. It was like he was finally getting his second chance at the happy ending he missed out on the first time around. 

It felt different than what he had expected, but it was nice.

The mercenary knew for certain that he wasn’t going to let himself fuck it up this time.

However, despite the fact that their rekindled relationship felt easier after six months, the couple still experienced struggles together. There was a tension between them, one that often alluded to the fact that things had fallen apart before. A mistrust, a scar that would never disappear and always serve as a painful reminder of Slade’s mistakes. 

One day, they were at the tail end of a bad fight, the kind that made Slade want to sleep in a separate room, or grab his coat and leave for the night. But he didn’t, instead he sat with Adeline on their bed and quietly waited for things to simmer down.

It all started because of Slade, of course. He had been in a sour mood for the past few days and it had unfortunately seeped into he and Adeline’s home life. His frustration derived from an upsetting interaction he had with Dick during their last coffee date, something that was becoming a regular occurrence lately. Slade felt like he just couldn’t please anyone anymore.

He had confronted the hero about how he had changed since Slade got in a serious relationship. The younger man fought back, claiming how Slade was the one who had changed. His words had stung the older man, and had Slade sulking around the house for the rest of the week. Adeline had noticed, of course, and once the mercenary explained the situation to her, she blew up too. Claiming he cared too much about what some kid thought over his own wife. 

“What can I do to make you happy, Addie? You know I would do anything for you.” Slade asked, hands clasped in his lap. He didn’t know what else to do, he felt like everything was crumbling down around him.

Adeline chewed on her lip for a bit, looking sullen. She wasn’t the type of woman who cried about things, but instead gave an extremely cold shoulder to express her aggravation. Slade wasn’t sure which he preferred, but it was incredibly difficult to comfort someone who was trying to push him away. 

That thought suddenly reminded him of how Dick looked while they argued, eyes wet with raw emotion, like he was barely capable of holding back tears. Dick and Adeline were opposites in that aspect as well in many other regards, Slade noted, sighing to himself. How was he able to piss off both of these people within just a few days of each other? The mercenary deserved some sort of award for being the world’s biggest asshole.

“You would do... anything?” Adeline asked him, suddenly breaking him out of his thoughts. Slade prickled at these words, but didn’t hesitate to answer her.

“Yes, what do you need me to do?” He felt apprehensive as he finished the question, knowing he wasn’t going to like her reply.

Adeline sighed, looking positively exhausted. “Slade, you would say I’m a pretty reasonable woman, right?” The older man nodded so she continued, “I feel like I must be going crazy right now, because I just have this gut feeling that I can’t ignore, but I’m afraid to bring it up with you.”

Slade’s eyebrows furrowed together. “You can tell me anything, Addie. I promise I’ll keep my feelings in check.” There were very few things that could actually make Slade lash out or overreact in an argument. What could Adeline possibly ask of him that would make her feel so reluctant to express her concerns?

Said woman turned around on the bed, looking Slade directly in the eye with a level gaze. “I… want to ask you to stop meeting with Dick.” 

Time stopped, making the mercenary’s breath catch in his throat. He felt like he could hear his own heartbeat thudding inside his chest, the hand on his watch clicking, the bed creaking underneath them as he shifted his weight. It felt like he left his own body in that moment, and could only survey the scene playing out from afar. He was underwater.

His breath came crashing back into his chest a second later, and pain washed over his entire body, aching cruelly. 

“W-Why?” Was all he could ask. He looked up at Adeline with a confused expression. What could she possibly be bothered about when it came to Dick? The younger man was kind to her, he supported their relationship, he gave Slade an outlet that quite frankly, kept the mercenary sane. 

Adeline looked back at her ex-husband regretfully, “Your relationship with him just makes me feel uneasy, I’m sorry. I was trying to ignore it, but just seeing how much you care about him makes me feel anxious.”

Slade gave her a look that he hoped drove home the point that he thought she was wrong, but he still wanted to acknowledge her fears. “You couldn’t possibly be suggesting that you’re jealous of him, right? Because that would not only be ridiculous, but is also nothing you would ever have to worry about. I only have eyes for you Addie.” He replied seriously, silently begging whatever higher power existed to help his words convince her. 

“It just seems like you really depend on this kid too much for it to not mean something .” Adeline explained.

The mercenary felt himself tense up at her accusation, “Kid? He’s thirty-years-old. And… he’s my closest friend. So I do care for him. Is that such a crime?” 

“You never used to have friends like this! Let alone ones that look like a goddamn model that makes puppy dog eyes at your back whenever you leave.” Adeline huffed.

“Now I know you’re just being silly, Addie.” Well, not entirely silly. It was true that Slade did not make many close friends in his life. His closest friend was one of his companions from the army, Billy Wintergreen. But Billy had passed a few years ago from cancer, so it wasn’t so strange that Slade wanted to make a new long-term friend. Dick just happened to be half his age, and incredibly good looking. But that wasn’t Slade’s fault!

“I know what I see, Slade. Even if you can’t see it, that boy has feelings for you. I know it, deep in my gut, and that’s why I brought it up. I may be acting out of jealousy in some ways, but I promise you this is only coming from a place of genuine concern for the wellbeing of our relationship.”

Slade wanted to snort, to tell her how absurd she was acting over nothing, but then his mind began to reel. Dick Grayson? Having feelings for him? Surely not, not after all the time they spent together platonically talking about mundane things and their tragic dating lives. No, Dick might be a little flirty here and there, but that was just who he was! Everyone knew Nightwing was a big flirt, it was an integral part of his personality. Plus, he had never made a move on Slade, not once. 

They kept things professional, their relationship was entirely based around the fact that both of them needed someone to act normal with. Someone who knew all the crazy shit they went through, that knew how completely not normal their lifestyles were. That’s what made it special, the fact that they could play pretend with each other for a few hours each week. Before Adeline came back into his life, it was really the only thing Slade had to look forward to.

And now, he was just supposed to throw that all away? Because of some… intuition ?

On the one hand, Slade didn’t want to discredit Adeline or her feelings and lose her over some misunderstanding. On the other hand, he literally couldn’t imagine Dick not being a part of his life in some way.

The mercenary groaned, feeling an intense headache coming on. “Is there any way I can make you feel better about this situation without completely shoving Dick out of my life?” He pleaded, not caring if he sounded like he was begging. 

There was pity in Adeline’s eyes as she reached out to hold his hand. “I’m sorry, Slade. Can you please just do this. For me?”

Slade closed his single eye and sighed resolutely. He knew there was no getting out of this predicament cleanly, it was either Dick or Adeline. His best friend or his ex-wife/girlfriend. The situation was laughable, really, because of course Slade couldn’t have it all. This is how his entire life had always been, abandoning one happiness in exchange for another. 

In the beginning, he wanted independence from his parents, but had to give his body and life to the military to get it. Then he wanted power but became an immortal killing machine through horrible experimentation that changed the course of his entire life. He wanted to keep his assassination work a secret from his family, but ended up losing them because his enemies targeted his loved ones. And now he had Adeline and his family back, but he had to give up one of the few beings who he respected and adored. 

At least he never expected life to be fair though, right?

“Fine, I’ll do it.” The mercenary whispered, and Adeline slid closer to him to wrap him in a hug. He felt hollow though, like he might deflate if she squeezed him too hard. The only thing that kept him from falling apart was the thought that this was hopefully the last sacrifice he would need to make to keep his family forever.

Yet deep down, he already knew he was making a horrible mistake.

The older man waited three weeks to meet with Dick, because he needed time to mentally prepare. To figure out how to deliver the worst news, to break his heart. Yeah, there was really no way to properly prepare for a conversation like this, but Slade couldn’t push it off any longer without the guilt he felt inside his heart crushing him whole.

The mercenary was waiting at their usual table alone, drawing small circles with his finger on the wood table they had grown so familiar with. The table, the soft piano music playing over the speakers, the way the patio chair cushions were sunken in from frequent use. It all held sentimental value to Slade, especially now that he knew he was probably never going to come back. He couldn’t, not when it held so many soon-to-be bittersweet memories.

As he lamented over memorizing every agonizing detail of the coffee shop, he heard the door chime as Dick entered. He looked haggard, Slade had to admit. His hair was ruffled, eyes sunken, dark and miserable. The older man wanted to believe it was because the acrobat had been caught up in a demanding mission since their last visit, but he knew better. And he was only going to make things worse.

The hero didn’t make eye contact with Slade, instead heading to the counter to grab his usual order. He sat down across from the mercenary a few minutes later with a drink in hand, still only looking down at the ground anxiously.

“Hey.” Slade forced himself to say, the single word feeling thick and pained. He didn’t want to have this conversation, not one bit.

Dick finally looked at him, sporting a weak smile, “Hey yourself. Muffin?” He offered awkwardly, sliding a muffin across the table without waiting for an answer.

Slade couldn’t even fathom taking a single bite from the muffin, so he ignored it. “Listen, Dick-” 

Said hero held a finger up to interrupt him, and Slade noticed the way that his hand shook slightly as he returned it to his lap. “Sorry, Slade. Can I say something first?”

The older man wanted to tell him no, to save him the trouble of saying anything to a scumbag like himself. But he couldn’t, so he just watched Dick patiently and waited for him to speak.

With hands fidgeting nervously, Dick spoke quietly but clearly. “I’m sorry about the last time we met up. I blew up at you when you didn’t deserve it, I was just acting defensively because my feelings were hurt.” His blue eyes burned into Slade’s, the guilt evident on his face. “The truth is, you were right. I have been acting differently since you got back together with Addie. And it’s hard for me to admit, because, well, I’m a pretty prideful person as you know.” He swallowed audibly then, and took a sip of his coffee to steady himself. Slade wanted to beg him to stop, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. So he just sat there, waiting.

Eventually, Dick kept going, seeming more relaxed than before. “Our dynamic changed when you got back together with Addie. Which isn’t a bad thing! It was just hard for me to get used to being the only sad, single dork in this friendship we have. Obviously I would rather you be happy than to suffer with me, but that’s why I’ve been acting strangely. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this earlier, I honestly didn’t quite understand it myself until after our fight.” The hero looked at Slade again, eyes searching for some kind of sign that he was forgiven. The mercenary could barely hold eye contact with him, the self hatred inside him slowly eating him alive.

Still, after hearing no response for a second time, Dick sighed and whispered, “Well, I just wanted to let you know, but you don’t have to forgive or understand me. I know I’m still just an immature kid sometimes, but do you think you can keep putting up with me despite that?” 

Slade closed his eye, letting out a long breath through his nose. He couldn’t even look at the acrobat, couldn’t bear to see the boy’s gentle soul reaching out to him with those longing eyes. Put up with him? Slade would put up with him no matter how many fights they had, no matter how many weeks passed before they could meet each other once more. Truth be told, he enjoyed putting up with Dick, it was fun.

But he wasn’t here to have fun anymore, he reminded himself. He finally opened his eye and saw the face of his young friend, concerned and hopefulness plastered over his features.

There was no point in putting it off any longer. “Dick, we need to talk.” The mercenary almost groaned at his own choice of words, what was he doing, breaking up with the kid?

The hero let out a small breath, biting his lip before replying, “O-Okay.” 

Slade sat up straighter, knowing he needed to gather all of his strength for this. There were rocks in his stomach though, slamming around in his insides and making him want to fold over. “I… want to preface this by saying you are by no means at fault, but… I can’t meet with you like this anymore.” 

Oh, it hurt to see the pain flash in Dick’s eyes, but Slade refused to look away. He deserved this, for being so cruel to the younger man. For not having the guts to fight for their friendship past this point. Dick deserved so much better.

The acrobat twitched his lips with confusion, mouth opening in closing as he tried to find the right thing to say. After a minute, all he could muster was a simple, hoarse, “Why?” 

Slade’s gaze shifted to the side, he didn’t want to tell Dick why, but he knew it was the only fair thing to do. “Adeline.” 

The hero’s eyes widened and his lips parted with realization. “Oh. S-She really doesn’t like me, huh?” He said sullenly, like he already suspected so. 

“How did you know?” Slade asked softly. 

Dick shrugged, absentmindedly picking at his sleeve while looking downcast. “I could sense it the first time we met. She let me sweet talk her but I could see the distrust in her eyes.”

“It’s not your fault.” The mercenary stated again, but the younger man only shrugged once more as a reply. “I’m sorry Dick, I don’t know how to make this situation better. I begged Adeline to change her mind, but she’s so damn stubborn. And I… I can’t lose her again.”

The man across from him suddenly flinched, his previously saddened eyes turning fiery. “But you’re okay with losing me ?” His voice rose as he spoke, and a few people sitting around them began to eye their table with curiosity.

“Of course not, do you really think I’m happy about having to make this decision?” Slade snapped back, feeling like he had to defend himself. The hero had no idea how much this was tearing him up inside!

Dick scoffed but lowered his voice out of politeness to those around them, “Yet, you did make a decision, didn’t you? I guess all this time we spent together was truly disposable to you?” He gave a short, harsh laugh. “I wish I had known our friendship meant so little to you from the beginning. Here I was, acting like a fucking idiot, thinking you cared about me!” 

The mercenary felt his blood begin to boil, and he leaned forward in his seat to properly glare at the younger man. “You know damn well that I care about you, Grayson, so quit trying to make a scene. I never wanted to have to choose between you and Adeline, but... she’s my ex-wife, my current girlfriend, the mother of my children, and she’s giving me, the world’s biggest shitbag, a second chance. I can’t fuck this up again, so I’m sorry.” He let out a heavy sigh, running a hand through his white hair and pulling on it with stress. “You have no idea how sorry I am, Dick. You can hate me and think that I’m the worst person to ever exist, but I hope you can understand my reasoning.” 

Dick was one of the few people in the world that actually could understand Slade down to his core. The mere thought of losing the hero tortured the mercenary so much that he couldn’t sleep at night, so this conversation felt nearly impossible to get through. But he had to, for Adeline, for his kids and grandkids. For himself.

The air hung heavy with silence between the two men. Then, something seemed to change in the young acrobat’s eyes once more. A sort of despondent, depressed nature consumed him wholly, something that Slade had only seen happen when Dick had to hide his emotions to save face in public. When a rescue mission went horribly wrong, or when Batman scolded him after a particularly rough night. Yes, the older man had seen his little bird put on this expression to many others, but never to him. Slade and Dick always tried to stay genuine with each other, to have at least one person they could let their guard down around.

In that moment, however, Slade evidently stopped being that person to Dick Grayson. He lost the right to be, and it stung. 

“I understand, Slade. You’ve made your choice.” The younger man said resolutely, his usually expressive eyes glazed over with emptiness. The mercenary found himself wanting to beg the hero to be angry with him, to not shut him out... but there was no point.

Miserably, Slade looked up at the acrobat as the younger man calmly stood up from his seat. “Dick,” His voice wavered. He didn’t have anything else left to say, but he couldn’t sit there and watch the boy walk out of his life forever like this. He was battling himself on the inside, silently pleading with the young man now, hoping that if Dick could see how much this hurt him that he would know that this wasn’t truly Slade’s decision to make. 

The Boy Wonder looked down at him with a straight face, refusing to recognize Slade’s half-assed plea for forgiveness. No sympathy, no heartbreak, he gave Slade nothing, and the mercenary knew he deserved it.

“I hope you live a happy life with your family.” The hero whispered, his stoney facade nearly cracking for a split second before he schooled his features once more. It cracked just enough to let the older man know he was being genuine about his well wishes. This only made Slade feel sick to his stomach as the other man turned to leave. 

“Goodbye, Slade.” He said gently and exited the coffee shop without looking back.

“Goodbye, Dick.” Slade replied back quietly a moment later, but the seat across from him was already empty, and his closest friend was long gone.

It was an understatement to say that Slade’s life had taken a turn after losing Dick Grayson. It wasn’t necessarily a bad one, not all of it at least. 

The first few weeks were the worst, without a doubt. He all but disappeared for the first week, telling Adeline he needed time to be alone. During that week, Slade wasn’t sure what he did, it passed by in a blur. He spent it by himself in one of his safehouses, going through intensive fighting drills with his robots until he had nothing left to give. He faintly remembered screaming at one of them but he couldn’t remember what he screamed about or why. 

Regardless, when Slade came back to the apartment he shared with Addie, he was spent. He spent a majority of that following week in bed in a deep sleep, similar to the type of sleep that overtook his body when he needed to heal from a terrible wound. 

By the third week, Slade was determined to get back to some semblance of ‘normal’. So he did his best to get out of the house and keep himself busy when he was at home. Adeline had been patiently giving him all of the time he could ask for to recover from his lost friendship. He had to give her credit for keeping her cool during this time, because Slade knew he was less than tolerable during the whole occurrence. 

Then, after what felt like ions yet simultaneously all of the sudden, the mercenary began to feel better. Well, not completely better, considering that Slade still felt off every Saturday, but he was more or less back to his old self. It helped that there was a lot going on in his life, of course. 

Joey and his wife had given birth to a baby boy with soft blonde curls and darling blue eyes, which meant that Adeline and Slade had their hands full helping out the newfound parents. To Slade, holding and caring for his grandson felt like a privilege he may never get used to. It felt like a strange but pleasant dream that might be snatched away from him at any moment. 

Time wouldn’t slow down after that, every day felt filled with busy tasks and bottles and diapers. The days started so early that by the time bedtime rolled around, Slade found himself so exhausted he could barely stay up past midnight anymore. It was satisfying, being able to be there for his family again, for them to be able to confidently rely on him. He felt closer with them than ever, it was everything he could have ever wished for and more.

But…

Somehow… 

Every Saturday the mercenary woke up feeling like there was a gaping hole in his chest. And as the months flew by, the hole only grew bigger and the feeling stopped being restrained to one day out of the week. It was during the quiet moments in between everyday life, like rocking his grandson to sleep or cooking breakfast in the morning. It was the fact that Slade’s coffee always tasted so bitter even though he was making it the same way he always had. 

He felt like he was being torn up inside, not from guilt or sadness but longing. By the time the mercenary’s grandson was six months old, it was becoming nearly impossible for Slade to hide these feelings from anyone.

“Hey you,” Adeline sat down on the couch next to him, a glass of wine in her hand that had a quippy saying about being a grandmother printed in cursive across its glass surface. Slade had been coerced into buying it for her by Joey’s wife when they were out shopping together. 

“Hey yourself,” Slade replied with a smile, turning to give her a kiss. 

The older woman was quiet for a bit, peacefully sipping her wine before asking, “Are you doing okay?”

Slade was startled by the question, tensing up a bit. “What makes you ask?”

“You’ve just… you seem unhappy lately. I’m starting to feel a little worried.” 

The mercenary thought about it for a moment, mulling over her statement. He supposed he had been feeling mentally perplexed recently, but he felt like he had it under control enough to not concern his ex-wife. He frowned at this but decided to be honest with himself and Adeline. “Addie, can I be honest with you?”

“Well, I sure hope so.” She replied somewhat sharply, but her eyes softened. “You know you can tell me anything.”

The older man’s chest felt heavy at her kindness. He wondered how someone being so supportive could cause him so much duress. Maybe he was just nervous he would disappoint her, and that he knew his words would hurt her. Or perhaps it's that he felt like he didn’t deserve such kindness at this point. 

Slade took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly, turning to face Addie as he spoke. “I miss him.” He was surprised to find his voice slightly shaky as he finally admitted the thought that had been plaguing his mind for months. 

“Dick?” His ex-wife asked, her expression and voice straining to stay neutral. 

Slade nodded without hesitation. “Yes, I’m sorry.” 

“Why are you sorry?” Adeline questioned cautiously, keeping strong eye contact with the mercenary as she asked.

The older man had to think about his answer before replying, wanting to make sure he didn’t say anything that could be misconstrued. “Because I’m still not able to let go of my relationship with him, even after all this time. And I know that makes you feel uneasy, so that’s why I’m sorry.” 

“You can’t force yourself to feel differently, Slade. I’m not upset, but I have to wonder why? Why is it so hard for you to move on? Do you… love him, or something?” Her green eyes were hardened with fear, and her tone wasn't accusing but scared; afraid that she already knew the answer.

Slade paused, because he had never thought to label his and Dick's relationship in such a way. They just existed together, and it was nice. The two never had to make excuses or had to explain themselves to each other. They simply accepted that they were both flawed and imperfect beings just doing their best. Their pasts were riddled with mistakes and regrets, yet they still sat across from each other every week and laughed together about trivial things. Dick made Slade feel human, and that wasn’t a feeling that the mercenary had felt since he became a metahuman all those years ago. It was something incredibly special, yes, but was it love? 

"No, I don't love him." Slade finally said, and Adeline let out a breath of relief. 

"See? Then it's not a big deal if-" She starts talking, but Slade softly squeezed her knee to interrupt her.

"I’ve never loved anyone since I loved you, Addie. Often, I feel like I don't deserve to love anyone, and I don't think anyone deserves to be loved by someone like me. With that being said though..." He held her wrinkled hands in his own, speaking softly, "Dick is important to me. I treasure him; I worry and care for him and I trust him with my life. He knows everything about me, every horrible crime I've committed, and every single time I've fucked up my life. And even then, he still chooses to be my friend, to look at me warmly, as if I am worthy of loving and being loved in return."

Slade let out a heavy sigh before carrying on. "So no, I don't love him. But aside from you, the kids, and Wintergreen, he is the only other person who has ever come close to making me feel like I could risk accepting another person into my heart again. It’s one of the healthiest relationships I've had in my life since Billy passed away, and it hurts me that you know all of this and you still won’t let me stay friends with Dick.”

Adeline looked shaken and just the slightest bit angry, her eyes wide and lips parted with surprise. “Slade, you know that I want you to be happy, but I don’t think it’s fair to compare this relationship to the one you had with William. You served in the army together, you knew each other for countless years.”

“The integrity of a relationship isn’t determined by how many years it has lasted, but if that’s your argument then consider that I have known Dick for 15 years. I watched him grow up, and he helped me grow as a person when I had nothing and no one else by my side.” The mercenary exhaled tiredly as he finished making his point.

His ex-wife sighed back at him irritably. “This is what I mean when I say I feel bothered by your relationship with him. How can you grow close to someone so quickly? I’ve never seen you this codependent, Slade, that’s not the kind of man I’ve ever known you to be.” 

“Well, things changed while we were apart, Addie. That may have not been the kind of man I was when you knew me back then, but it’s the kind of man I’ve become. And I don’t deserve to give up friendships just because you’re upset that you’re not the only person I can trust anymore.” 

Adeline stood up from the couch, throwing Slade’s hands off of her own and looking like she was about to storm off. Her posture was livid and wounded, arms tightly crossed over her chest. 

The mercenary internally groaned, regretting the direction this conversation took and wondering if there was any way to undo the damage he just inflicted. “Addie, I’m sorry. That came out more aggressive than I intended. I didn’t mean to act so defensively, but I can’t hide my frustration any longer.”

His ex-wife snorted but uncrossed her arms, slightly less tense. “Obviously not… I just don’t know what to do anymore, Slade. I don’t want to stop you from being happy, but I can’t just disregard my own feelings about the situation.” 

“I understand.” Slade replied sullenly, staring down at the ground. He felt like the earth was crumbling beneath him.

“So where does that leave us?” Adeline asked the obvious question that had hung between them since she asked the mercenary to stop being friends with Dick.

That night, Slade and Adeline ended their relationship that they had spent over a year rekindling together. The mercenary was the one to pack his bags the next day and offer to move out, to avoid making the situation more awkward. It was particularly painful because Adeline was so calm about it all, telling him to take his time and search for a proper apartment instead of hiding away in one of his safehouses. She helped gather his things like she was helping a friend pack for a trip, not kicking out her ex-husband for the second time in their lives. 

Well, he supposed he preferred this conclusion, considering she wasn’t pointing any guns at him this time around and threatening to take his other eye out. He took her advice and spent a few days looking for a small apartment just outside of Bludhaven. He spent his last day in their shared apartment babysitting his grandson, pressing a dozen kisses into his soft curly hair as a goodbye. 

His ex-wife had graciously allowed him to remain in contact with Joseph and his family, as long as they were comfortable with it. She joked dryly about how their family dinners had always been awkward regardless, but there was no venom in her words. She seemed resigned about the entire situation but much more willing to compromise than Slade had ever expected. 

After putting his grandson down for the night, the mercenary knew it was his time to go. He brought his bags to his car and then returned to the apartment for what would probably be the last time in a long while. Adeline leaned against the door, frowning in a way that made her look angry, but her eyes were mournful. 

Slade felt his heart sink with regret upon seeing her. “Guess I ruined everything again, huh Addie?” 

“You’re the worst.” She agreed with a sad smirk, but ended up shaking her head afterwards. “Just… go be happy, Slade.” Her words seemed harsh but also kind in a way that only Slade recognized. They felt achingly familiar to the way Dick had bid him farewell.

“You too.” He told her, and then turned around to head towards his car, leaving his happy ending behind all over again.

The mercenary would never admit it, but it took him an obscene amount of time to gather up the courage to reach out to Dick after that. Three months, to be exact. Quite frankly, it was embarrassing that Slade of all people was so anxious to send a single text. He had been on so many dangerous missions where all the odds were against his favor, where he had to pull off a near-impossible assassination and then escape because his life literally depended on it, yet this single text message had caused him so much more insomnia. 

What was there to say to a person that you fucked over so badly? What words could possibly be chosen to fit on that stupid little screen that would make the other person believe you were worth any of their time? And this was assuming that Dick hadn’t already blocked his number. Maybe it was just fitting karma for Slade to spend so many sleepless nights fretting over this text, only to never know if the young hero would see his message or not.

It’s on a Tuesday evening, inspired by a lot of whiskey that Slade finally got the balls to construct the cursed text. It read:

Need to talk. Saturday? 

Slade wanted to slam his head against his kitchen counter with how simple and understated it turned out, but he refused to chicken out and sent it off with a shaky breath. Dick didn’t reply that night, nor the next day or day after that. So the mercenary spent the week running through rigorous training regimens to distract himself, and then screaming into his pillow every night. 

He hated waiting, not knowing. He knew he deserved nothing less, but each passing second made his skin crawl with unease. He didn’t deserve a response or a second chance, but that didn’t stop him from practically praying every single second of the day that he would see Dick at their coffee shop that weekend.

After surviving through a dissociative state of existence for several days, Saturday finally rolled around. Slade didn’t sleep the night before, and arrived at the coffee shop an hour early, stress stinging his pores as he entered the familiar location. It had nearly been a year since he stepped foot in this place and the memories it held made the older man clench his jaw with distress. 

Not much has changed in this cafe, despite the fact that it had been the place that Slade had chosen to flip his life upside down in. The mercenary was a different man now, and that scared him, because he was sure Dick would be different as well. 

He ordered a coffee and ignored the surprised look on the barista's face as she recognized him but said nothing. He sat at their usual table, his bones sighing as he relaxed into the seat. Taking a sip of his coffee, Slade could almost pretend everything was as normal as it ever was and the feeling was fleeting but so nice. He supposed he should be spending this time thinking of what he wanted to say to Dick, should the young man grace the mercenary with his presence. But Slade had spent every waking moment of the past few months overanalyzing and daydreaming about all the ways he could beg the hero for forgiveness. He ran through every scenario, every pathetic sentence he could attempt to string together to persuade the acrobat to pardon his giant mistake, but it didn't matter now. He knew once he saw that head of silky dark hair and deep blue eyes, all of his words would fail him and he would just have to wing it. 

The hour passes at an agonizingly slow pace, and then another hour passes, and the hero still hasn't walked through the doors that Slade is eyeing like a hawk. After another half hour passed, the older man began to swallow his pride and accept defeat when the front door chimed. 

It’s him. Those two words filled Slade’s entire existence, and he felt like he was able to let go of a breath that he’d been holding for an entire year. Dick didn’t even spare him a glance, taking his time to order at the counter and smile at the barista who beamed at him excitedly. 

Slade used this time to soak the other man’s appearance in and commit every piece of it to his memory. His jet black hair was longer than before, pulled up into a small, high ponytail. It pushed his long bangs off of his face and Slade thought he looked stunning. His eyes were as dazzling as ever, too, although the older man thought there might be a few more wrinkles there than there had been before. The smile the hero gave to the barista was warm and toothy, kindness radiating from his entire being. If Slade were the type to cry, he might have considered bursting into tears by this point.

Fortunately, he was somewhat of a heartless monster, so his eyes remained dry, but so did his mouth. Dick had always been an attractive man in Slade’s eyes, but he had only grown more beautiful in the past year. It was selfish, but the mercenary refused to take his eyes off of the younger man, even as he turned towards him and finally made his way to their table. Dick met his eyes, looking briefly surprised before schooling his features into something more neutral as he took his seat.

“Slade.” He said with a straight face, unperturbed by the other man’s blatant staring. 

“Dick.” The mercenary nearly choked on his name, so full of emotion. There were a thousand things he wanted to say, but they all died on his tongue, too overwhelmed by the presence of the younger man. 

Said man shifted uncomfortably, sipping from his cup before speaking. “If you have something to say, please say it. I don’t want to waste my time here.” He stated coldly. 

Slade let out a long breath, trying to calm his nerves. “Before I start, here.” The mercenary pulled up a gift basket that he was hiding under the table. It was filled with an obscene amount of muffins. 

Knocked off balance, Dick eyes it curiously as it’s pushed towards his side of the table. “W-What are these for?” 

The mercenary shrugged. “I know I’ve lost my place in your heart, but I was hoping these would be enough to bribe you to hear me out, at least for a few minutes.” Slade explained quietly, feeling like an asshole for even making the suggestion that the hero would be influenced by a few muffins after a year of silence. It was an idea that popped into his head the day before while he was grocery shopping, and suddenly there were a shit ton of muffins in his cart before he could talk himself out of it. Following through with the plan only made him feel foolish.

The younger man was silent until he slowly picked out a singular muffin from the basket with shaking hands. Slade’s eyes darted to his bright blue ones hopefully, but Dick was glaring at him.

“You’re lucky you grabbed a banana nut one.” The young man mumbled, peeling the clear plastic off of the muffin. “You have until I’m finished with this muffin, Slade. That’s it.” He popped a piece of muffin into his mouth and the mercenary felt the clock begin to tick.

“Dick, I… I wanted to tell you that above everything else that I want to say that I am truly sorry.” The older man started and was relieved that the right words seemed to find him after all. “I can’t begin to express to you how sorry I am for everything that happened a year ago. Specifically, for not treating you like a true friend should have. You have always been there for me and accepted me without question, and I betrayed your trust. I can never change the way I handled that situation, but I wanted to tell you that you deserve a better friend than that.” 

The words were bubbling out of Slade’s chest as he anxiously eyed the muffin that Dick had eaten a good amount of already. He began speaking faster, desperate to say everything that the hero deserved to hear. “When I was dating Adeline, I became too focused on the idea of making things work with her at any cost. She told me she wasn’t comfortable with our friendship, and I tried to fight her on it, but in the end I was too weak. I was afraid I was letting go of the one person who could ever love me for the whole idiot that I am, that I was going to lose everything if I lost her again.” 

The muffin was half-eaten now, and Dick’s expression had remained as blank as it was when he initially sat down. Slade was beginning to feel a stab of panic shoot through his brain. “But I was wrong, and I have no excuse for my actions. When I told you we couldn’t be friends that day, I ended up giving up the one person who mattered most to me. I regretted my decision every single day, and it ate me up inside to think some moron like me could ever make a perfect person like you think that you are not worth fighting for. You are an outstanding individual with an unmatched heart, and the most wonderful friend I could have ever asked for.” The older man finished his sentence in a rush as Dick pushed the last piece of muffin between his lips. Slade waited as he chewed and swallowed, washing it down with his creamy-looking drink.

“And?” The young hero prodded him while scooping up bits of whip cream from his drink with his straw.

“And..?” Slade asked, shoulders slumping forward with confusion. 

Dick sighed, setting his drink down on a coaster. “What were you hoping to get out of this?”

The mercenary frowned, feeling lost. “Your forgiveness?” He answered honestly but then quickly added, “but I understand if you won’t forgive me. Even if you hate me and never want to see me again, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. That’s it.” 

The young man seemed to consider this for a minute, thrumming his fingers against the table as he thought it over. Slade waited for his verdict with baited breath.

“How many muffins are in this basket?” The hero finally questioned in a serious tone.

Slade froze, and then replied, “Thirty.” 

Dick pursed his lips, looking up at the other man with a look of faux disappointment. “Hmm… That’s not quite enough for me to forgive you, since you missed over fifty coffee dates.” The younger man waited another second before his face broke into the tiniest teasing smile, making Slade’s heart jump into his throat.

Unable to stop himself, Slade stood up suddenly and moved around the table and past Dick, who leapt off of his seat to grab the older man’s wrist. “Slade! Where are you going?”

“I’m going to buy you fifty — no — one hundred more muffins. Just wait here, okay?” The mercenary said with determination.

Dick bursted into laughter, maintaining a firm grip on Slade’s wrist. “I was just kidding! Well, maybe I was serious, but I can’t take a hundred more muffins. That’s just insane, but you made your point.” He smiled again, eyes downcast with delighted embarrassment. 

“I will do whatever you ask of me, Grayson.” Slade turned around, intense gaze burning into the younger man in front of him. 

“I can’t believe I am forgiving such a ridiculous man.” The hero joked, but his blue eyes began to glisten with unshed tears. “Like I could ever hate you, you big idiot.” He whispered, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hands. 

Slade didn’t think, only pulled Dick into an embrace. It seemed to have been the right move, because the younger man quickly snaked his arms around Slade’s waist and buried his face into the other’s chest. The mercenary knew that Dick was crying by the way his shoulders trembled, and he did his best to hide the younger man from prying eyes by tightening his arms around him. Slade was never going to let him go at this rate, because it felt so right to have Dick pulled up against him. He wondered why they had never hugged before this very moment, and lamented all the time they wasted not holding onto each other dramatically like this.

Eventually, the acrobat seemed to calm down and pulled away from Slade, although somewhat hesitantly. His cheeks were shining and his eyes were puffy from weeping, but the mercenary still felt like he was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Dick whined, sitting back down in his seat and reaching for a nearby tissue box. 

Slade smirked, excitement making his skin tingle. “I’ll tell you later.” He promised, knowing he shouldn’t confess on the same day that he’s apologized. That could wait.

The hero ignored him, aggressively blowing his nose instead. Once he was done, his features settled into an exhausted but pleased smirk. “So you missed me that bad, huh?” 

“You have no idea.” The older man admitted easily, fighting the urge to reach across the table and grab hold of Dick’s hand. He grabbed for his coffee instead, which had grown a bit cold at this point, but he couldn’t care less.

His answer makes Dick grin with flushed cheeks. “So does this mean that our Saturday coffee dates are back on?” 

Slade’s heart felt at ease as he replied earnestly, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”