Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When Charlie Slimecicle met the man, he didn’t expect things to go like this. He didn’t expect to be sitting in an airport, on his way to meet Lady Death herself.

Schlatt, as he had introduced himself, turned out to be a chimera. He had easily figured out that Charlie was a slime despite all his attempts to blend in. This had somehow led to Schlatt deciding to send him to a “magical safe haven,” or the ‘Community’ as wine ominously called it. 

Charlie still wasn’t sure what the place really was but they were willing to find out if slime saw the opportunity. A place filled with other supernatural creatures sounded surreal. Charlie had only known one other non human creature in his life. And that was just recently Schlatt. Slime fiddled with their fidget cube as they waited for their plane to arrive. 

Supernaturals inc. at 9:08 AM

Mama Death: We are getting a new person soon, behave yourselves

Mama Death: Drista and Tommy, that means you 

chaos: what do you mean im an angel???

Caw Caw Bitch: Don’t say that you’ll give angels like me a bad reputation

chaos: bitch

The muffin man: LANGUAGE

BIG MAN: FUCK

bee boi: FUCK

Not a furry: FUCK

rubber duck: FUCK

chaos: FUCK

why are they so tall?!: ENGLISH

BIG MAN: you ruined it...

Space boi: I’m just gonna go back to bed =_=

Tik Tok goes the clock: what the honK??? a new person???

Queer king: What are their pronouns?

Mama Death: Let me ask Schlatt

rubber duck: wait whats happening?

Tik Tok goes the clock: We getting a new person

rubber duck: are we stealing them?

Blobby Bish: New or used?

ORDER: Great responses, both of you.

bee boi: ew grrmamer

why are they so tall?!: *grammar

bee boi: ,,,my little meow meow

bee boi: u chooose to betrey me ths wya

why are they so tall?!: *choose *betray  *this *way

BIG MAN: boob boy go away

Queer King: I just want to know the kids pronouns :(

Mama Death: He doesn’t know but the kid seems to be comfortable with he/him so far

chaos: ew

Captain Kraken: Drista…

chaos: nice got it

chaos: i can be nice

chaos: :)

Chapter Text

Approaching the castle, it is, even from within Lady Death’s minivan, by far the most intimidating thing Charlie has ever seen. Standing multiple stories tall, the stone building is the largest of such architecture he’s come across, and knowing that it is filled with supernaturals only makes slimes apprehension increase. He can barely function around humans, how’s he gonna work with other creatures he’s never met.

At least Lady Death, or Kristin as she insists on being addressed, is very kind. She’s short, at least shorter than slimeself. And she smiles a lot. Slime likes that. She talks a lot about the community, and with how interesting she describes all of them, slime can only hope they like him. 

“Oh, I bet you’ll enjoy the forest. It’s so wide that no human really goes in.”

“...Is there bones?”

“ Are there bones? Why do you ask?”

“I need them for my collection.”

“Collection? You collect bones?”

“Oh, I collect all sorts of stuff! Never know what you might need for an emergency spell!”

“Oh! You do witchcraft? Hannah, my head priestess, also does witchcraft! She collects lots of stuff too!”

Charlie perked up that. Other witches? He hadn’t met any non-human witches before.  Kristin noticed his excitement and smiled at slime. She wanted the kid to feel welcomed so she started to ramble about interesting things in the forest that could be used for spells for the rest of the ride.

Responsible Adults TM + Skeppy

Sam: I’m done with the room for Charlie

Philza: You sure you don’t need any help mate

Sam: I said I was done why would I need help

Philza: You never know mate

Sam: Yes I do. It’s done. It’s finished

Philza: You forgot a wall, mate

Sam: No I didn’t

Sam: …

Sam: Shut the fuck up

Puffy: Boys. We can be more mature than this

Sam: Shut the fucketh up

Sam: Mate

skeepy: suprixed bad hasbt shidn upp yert

Puffy: The only thing Skeppy knows how to spell is Bad’s name and honestly I’m no longer surprised

skeepy: i ceen speel!!

Kristin: Every word in the group chat just gave me a headache. Sam fix the wall. Skeppy turn on autocorrect. Please.

skeepy: no<3

Walking through the large entrance hall, Charlie gazes around at the grand design. The walls are tall and they look beautifully sculpted. The place feels like an actual palace and not a community house like how Schlatt described it to him. Kristin took him on a tour down the halls.

“It’s really quiet right now cause all the other kids are at school.” Kristin explained. 

Charlie looked surprised at that, “There’s a school for people like us?”

“No. I wish. They all go to a human school in the town over.” Charlie put his head down at that. Did they expect him to also go to human school? He had already done that before and it was mostly a pretty sucky experience for slime. Kristin noticed slimes hesitance and smiled in reassurance. 

“C’mon let me take you to your room. I’m sure the final wall has been put in already.”

Foolish opened the door as the mini gremlins rushed past him. Gold sighed as the kids dumped their stuff and ran down the hallway. He sighed tiredly and waved at the cleaning person as they walked by. They were wearing a nice blue tie today. Gold walked down the hallway past them as he picked up the leftover things bringing them towards the gremlins’ rooms. 

With that put away and done, gold headed back to his room ready to relax for a bit and possibly work on a few projects he had been wanting to do. 

Gold walked back to where his area is only to be met with another person wandering the halls looking at all the things around them. Foolish supposed this was the new kid Kristin had talked about them getting and so he decided to do the nice thing and say hi. 

“Hey you're new around here right? I’m Foolish.”

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

BIG MAN: what do you mean tou punched him

why are you so tall?!: he was being an ass?

bee boi: it wrs aewsooom

BIG MAN: you cant be seriuos

BIG MAN: boob boy??? really???

why are you so tall?!: why is this so hard to believe?

Silent but deadly: clearly I’ve trained you well

chaos: i missed this

chaos: are you kidding me??

bee boi: eh wass being hoomphoob so ranboo knocksed ihm out!!

Under da sea! Has added Slimecicle

chaos: ah so he arrives

Under da sea!: Welcome Slimecicle!

chaos: :)

Under da sea!: This is the teen gc +drista

Slimecicle: Oh hello

BIG MAN: oh its the neeewww kid

Loud but harmless: tooommyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Loud but harmless: are you being mean again

BIG MAN: yes<3

Loud but harmless: nooooooooo

Silent but deadly: Wilbur you left 5 minutes ago hurry up

Loud but harmless: don't rush me!!

Slimecicle: Is this common?

why are you so tall?!: yes, I feel sorry for you

Blobby Bish: hurry up Wilbur :)

lemme sleep: I should have just gone o sleep instead of coming here

Silent but deadly: then leave

lemme sleep: not going to just to spite you

lemme sleep: no

lemme sleep: Techno stop glaring at me like that

lemme sleep: n o 

lemme sleep: Wilbur stop your sibling please

Loud but harmless: No lol

lemme sleep: WILBUR PLEASE HGYVDSGDEERVGHFFG

Loud but harmless: L

BIG MAN: rip lol

chaos: L

Queer King: great first impressions everyone

Blobby Bish: Thank you, I think we all tried

Under da sea!: Okay guys, introductions maybe instead of just confusion?

Under da sea!: I’m Foolish but you already know that. he/gold

Queer King: Hello, I’m Eret! Any pronouns are fine!

Queer King: Oh! Im half gorgon as well

Slimecicle: Oh! Introductions!

lemme sleep: I’m Eret’s brother. He/Him

Queer King: Say your name asshole

lemme sleep: No<3

Queer King: That’s george he’s an asshole. He’ll prolly go to sleep right now

Slimecicle: I’m Charlie Slimecicle! Im a slime and go by he, they, and slime pronouns!

bee boi: im tubbo! he/she prnuons pls

why are you so tall?!: *pronouns

why are you so tall?!: Im Ranboo! I'm a dragon and fae hybrid, and usually use he/they/end/void/it/pearl pronouns

chaos: im drista, chaos god, she pronouns only or ill shoot you

Blobby Bish: Im Dream! Im a blob, he/they/it/blob pronouns :)

BIG MAN: Im tommy, the best shapeshifter around. he/him pronouns

rubber duck: heard you were talking shit

BIG MAN: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

rubber duck: Quackity he/him. The ACTUAL best shapeshifter around

Silent but deadly: Im Techno. Fae.

BIG MAN: WAIT THATS BULLSHIT I”M THE BEST SHAPESHIFTER 

why are you so tall?!: *that’s *I’m

BIG MAN: RANBOO SHTU THE FUCK UP

why are you so tall?!: *shut

Loud but harmless: Wilbur, Techno’s twin. Im a siren

Slimecicle: ?

BIG MAN: they’re hybrids with each and more importantly they are ASSHOLES

Queer King: Tommy, be nice

BIG MAN: I AM NICE I AM THE NIECST MOTHERFUCKER HERE ALL YOU DICKHEADS HAVE NEVER MET A NICER PERSON YOU ALL JUST CAN'T HANLE MY NICENESS

why are you so tall?!: *nicest *handle

BIG MAN: I want you dead ranboob /hj

Tik Tok goes the clock: I’m Karl, I use he/they/honk/seer/tick pronouns. I’m an elf.

Slimecicle: there sure are a lot of you

Queer King: There’s more of us but they aren’t online right now. They’ll prolly introduce themselves later

Slimecicle: Ah okay :)

UNKNOWN NUMBER: Hello :)

BIG MAN: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!

Chapter Text

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

bee boi: woh dat?

UNKNOWN NUMBER: My name is Alyssa, she/her Imma ghost

Silent but deadly: How did you get into the group chat?

UNKNOWN NUMBER: Hacking is fun :)

BIG MAN: What the fuck?!

UNKNOWN NUMBER changed two nicknames

Female Danny Phantom: That’s better :)

Goopy boi: Oh hey, I have a cool name now

chaos: ooooo! another girl!

Supernaturals inc

Under da sea! Has added Goopy boi

Under da sea!: I added slime!

The muffin man: Welcome! I’m Badboyhalo but just call me Bad! I go by he/him pronouns. If you need anything at all just let me know

Goopy boi: Hi! Thank you Badboyhalo demon of life

Female Danny Phantom: Heyyo

Caw Caw Bish: Who is this?

Female Danny Phantom: I’m the ghost girl, Alyssa

Mama Death: Nice to see you again. May I ask how you got into the group chat?

Female Danny Phantom: Hacking is fun

Not a furry: Fair enough

Blobby Bish: Facts

BIG MAN: What the fuck you two?!?!

Caw Caw Bish: How did you even get a phone mate???

Female Danny Phantom: Scared a kid, they dropped their phone. I stole said phone and changed all their info. It’s mine now :)

Silent but deadly: I like her 

Female Danny Phantom: K

Sans the skeleton: Who changed my username?!?! 

why are you so tall?!: Guilty as charged but I do not regret it lol

Sans the skeleton: you will

Sans the skeleton changed one nickname

Sans the skeleton: Check again boo boy

The Onceler: What did you do?

The Onceler: Oh, pog

Sans the skeleton: OH COME ON!!!!

BIG MAN: L

chaos: L

bee boi: L

Not a furry: L

Space boi: What the fuck?

BIG MAN: YOU FUCKING BROKE THE CHAIN DICKHEAD!!! D:<

Space boi: I do not care child

BIG MAN: WE’RE THE SAME AGE YOU BITCH!!!

Queer King: guys,,, please for Charlie’s sake

Queer King: anyways, this is the big group chat that everyone uses

Queer King: If you have not yet introduced yourself then do so please

Mama Death: Thank you Eret

Sans the skeleton: I’m Punz he/him. I’m usually at my dorms but you will see me once in a while

Space boi: Punz come back all these people are crazy

Sans the skeleton: Aw you missed me little bro :’)

Space boi: Nvm die

Space boi: I’m Purpled, he/star pronouns

Queer King: Does anyone know where ExDee is

ORDER: Hello

Queer King: How the fuck do you that

ORDER: I am ExDee, my pronouns are he/they/it/ae. Welcome young Charlie.

Goopy boi: Thank you :D

chaos: dun be so officical bro you sound like some old narator for a fantazy movee or sumethin

chaos: ranboob if you try and correct me ill stab you

Babysitter Rose: Drista…

chaos: fineeeeee no thretenin peeple wit potental stabbing got it

Babysitter Rose: I’m Hannah she/flor/ro pronouns please

Goopy boi: how should I use that?

Babysitter Rose: Flor/Flowers/Flowerself and Ro/Rose/Roself

Goopy boi: thank you!!

Babysitter Rose: No problem! ^^

the little mermaid: Prepare for trouble

can’t stop the grind: And make it double

Queer King: I stg

Silent but deadly: Nerds

the little mermaid: to protect the world from devastation!

can’t stop the grind: to unite all peoples within our nation!

Blobby Bish: @Arson pog

Blobby Bish: Sapnap hurry up the weebs are at it again

the little mermaid: to denounce the evils of truth and love

can’t stop the grind: to extend our reach to the stars above!

Blobby Bish: @Arson pog

Blobby Bish: @Arson pog SAPNAP

Arson pog: WHAT

Arson pog: omfg theyre doing it again

Arson pog: Is there a new person

Goopy boi: Hi I’m Charlie!

Blobby Bish: Sapnap how have you misseed all of this??

the little mermaid: NIKI (she/pond/river)

can’t stop the grind: JACK (he/they)

Not a furry: FUNDY (he/him)

BIG MAN: HOW COULD YOU?!?!

bee boi: A nwe low forr yuo huh

Not a furry: They pay me 20 bucks every time they do this for me to add the Meowth bit

chaos: fair

Arson pog: @Blobby Bish I have a life outside my phone unlike you

Blobby Bish: This was announced this morning, thats not being busy thats failing to check

Arson pog: I may have been binging youtube all day

Silent but deadly: L

Blobby Bish: Lazy, clearly

Blobby Bish: L

Arson pog: I hate you both

Chapter Text

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

can’t stop the grind: good morning

Loud but harmless: its not a good morning you sleepless fuck go away let us slepp

Under da sea!: wilbur just because youre an insomniac doesnt mean everyone hates mornings

Arson pog: no we do

lemme sleep: mornings are awful

Blobby Bish: stop pingng my phon u fucks

Tik Tok goes the clock: yeah eberone haate mornns

bee boi: I don't hate mornings :)

The Onceler: please stip its too early

bee boi: *stop *it’s

The Onceler: I wil murder yuo

Silent but deadly: im muting if anyone pings me again

Silent but deadly: you will suffer

Blobby Bish: @Silent but deadly

Silent but deadly: No longer in a qpr with Dream

Blobby Bish: /j right

Blobby Bish: /J RIGHT?????

Loud but harmless: id suggest getting Techno a coffe vanillla swet cream cold brew with white mocha and extra pepermint shot added

Blobby Bish: SEE YOU ALL LATER BYE

Arson pog: what a simp

Tik Tok goes the clock: i think its sweet<3

rubber duck: same :]

Arson pog: and suddenly I am on my way to get coffee

lemme sleep: Wilbur never gets me coffee :(

Loud but harmless: youre never awake to drink it anyway

lemme sleep: rude but fair

Queer King: If I asked you for coffee will you give it to me

Loud but harmless: no bcuz u hate it

Queer King: <33333

Goopy boi: good morning!

Under da sea!: Morning Charlie!

Under da sea!: Ready for your first day at school?

Goopy boi: no :)

Under da sea!: aww, the school isnt that bad

can’t stop the grind: yeah, its pretty chill

can’t stop the grind: plus our whole crew is there

Under da sea!: and youll have classes with me at least!

Goopy boi: Oh i do? thats cool!

BIG MAN: every1 shut up and stop mking my phone blwo up

Loud but harmless: Did you just wake up?????

BIG MAN: yes now fuckm off

bee boi: Lol we have like 20 minutes Tommy hurry up

BIG MAN: go bother boo boy hes not even awak rn

The Onceler: No i am

The Onceler: I dont want to be but i am and already dressed 

Space boi: Sucks to suck tommy

BIG MAN is typing…

BIG MAN: TUBBO WHKJJFSHHKGHJ-

The Onceler: L

chaos: L

Space boi: L

Not a furry: I just saw Drista wake up to say L and then immediately fall back asleep

Not a furry: Shes just lying on the floor by the front door

Not a furry: Picture of Drista face down on the floor face hidden

Babysitter Rose: Wake her up or she’s gonna miss breakfast

Not a furry: She Will Bite Me

Loud but harmless: Throw a pillow at her, step back, then say Hannah told you to wake her up and to take it up with her

Not a furry: That could actually work

Not a furry: If it backfires i blame Wilbur, let it be known

Blobby Bish: Update, qpr is still on

Silent but deadly: Barely the coffee isn’t sweet enough

Blobby Bish: I tried ;-; </3

Not a furry: SHE BIT ME

Not a furry: SHE LUNGED AT ME AND BIT ME

Silent but deadly: lol L

Loud but harmless: L

Not a furry: WILBUR THIS IS YOUR FAULT

Not a furry: I DISOWN YOU AS MY PARENT

Loud but harmless: :’(

Babysitter Rose: @chaos apologize to Fundy then go get breakfast

chaos: he threw a pillow at me

Babysitter Rose: Drista.

chaos: fine

Not a furry: well she apologized

Not a furry: BUT I STILL DISOWN WILBUR AS MY PARENT

Loud but harmless: :’( the hurt i feel

Not a furry: IM THE ONE THAT WAS BIT FUCK OFF

Babysitter Rose: Guys come get breakfast or you’ll be late

Charlie felt sick to what probably should have been slimes stomach. He wasn’t sure if they were ready to face human school again. At least Foolish had assured him they had some classes together. That would be a relief. He could only hope the school was accepting towards him.

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

Loud but harmless: guys

Loud but harmless: gUYS

Loud but harmless: MY VOICE IS GIVING OUT

Loud but harmless: I HAVE A THEATRE PROJECT DUE TOMORROW WHY NOW

Queer King: Oh no! Has it started hurting yet?

Loud but harmless: No but my voice keeps cracking this is not good

Queer King: Mrs. Kelly knows you lose your voice sometimes

Queer King: shell let you do it next week im sure

Loud but harmless: UUHGHHGIHSDH 

Loud but harmless: THIS IS SO INCONVEENENT

Silent but deadly: L

Loud but harmless: do not

Loud but harmless: I am suffering

Silent but deadly: Ill hum for you later

Loud but harmless: Nvm thank you dear twin of mine

Goopy boi: Whats going on?

Queer King: Wilbur will occasionally lose his voice

Queer King: a sore throat usually comes with it too

Queer King: Itll last for a couple days then they will be fine again

Goopy boi: Oh that doesnt sound fun

Loud but harmless: it is not

Loud but harmless: But i do like when Techno hums so at least i get one good thing out of this

Queer King: We can stop and get some smoothies on the way home today 

Loud but harmless: oh pog

Silent but Deadly: awesome

Blobby Bish: Smoothies pog

Chapter Text

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

BIG MAN: Fuck school. Fuck people. Fuck everything. I would like to cease existing.

Female Danny Phantom: Mood but also same.

Not a furry: The fuck is up with you two?

BIG MAN: I do not want to exist currently.

Silent but deadly: Mood.

Tik Tok goes the clock: Are you guys okay???

BIG MAN: Yes

Female Danny Phantom: Yes

the little mermaid: What’s wrong?

BIG MAN: Nothing, fuck off.

Loud but harmless: Tommy never uses punctuation, something’s wrong.

BIG MAN: I said fuck off!

Silent but deadly has added The Onceler, Loud but harmless, the little mermaid, Not a furry, and bee boi to the chat

Silent but deadly has renamed the chat ‘Detective shit’ 

Not a furry: What the fuck is this?

Silent but deadly: Something is going on with those two and I want to know what.

Loud but harmless: oooo spy time

the little mermaid: Why was I added?

The Onceler: Me as well?

bee boi: I now I waz juts aded cuz tis si Tommy lol

Silent but deadly: Ignoring how much i hate reading Tubbos message, you two were added because I have my suspicions.

Not a furry: Suspicions? Wait, ohhhhhh

the little mermaid: what suspicions?

Loud but harmless: OH THIS IS WHAT YOU MEANT 

Loud but harmless: WE TALK IN OUR HEADS WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE SO CRYPTIC????

Silent but deadly: I think Tommy may be trans.

Silent but deadly: or at least not fully cis

the little mermaid: Oooohhh that makes sense actually

The Onceler: Now that you point it out, actually...

Not a furry: yeah i can see where you get it

bee boi: Oh eyah porbbly

Loud but harmless: Techno is an asshole but yes they have a point

Silent but deadly: Of course I do, i steal pronouns for a living

Not a furry: thats fair

The Onceler: fair

the little mermaid: fair

bee boi: tommy inst godd at pieccing it toggethrr thugh

The Onceler: Oh not at all

Loud but harmless: so what should we do about it

the little mermaid: well we shouldn’t push the topic too much 

bee boi: tomy,s prolby gon hvae a hadr tmie reaizng ti thoguh

Not a furry: this is true Tommy is a dumbass

Silent but deadly: Fundy do not, I will remove you from the chat.  

Not a furry: Okay okay my bad

The Onceler: Maybe we can mention it subtly?

the little mermaid: but how could we?

The Onceler: Small cosmetic things? 

Loud but harmless: Like nail polish?

The Onceler: Yeah, things like that. that aren’t traditionally associated with males

Silent but deadly: Good, someone here is smart enough to help.

Not a furry: what's that supposed to mean! 

Silent but deadly: What do you think it's supposed to mean?

The Onceler: Can we get back on topic now?

bee boi: we sugesteed nale poilhs rgiht? wat if i invit tommy to jon karls nial pantin seshons?

the little mermaid: That might help! 

the little mermaid: I go to those and I’m trans so Tommy might be more willing to open up if they see they aren’t alone

Not a furry: Good idea! I might be trans but I have no idea what it’s like to want to be a girl

The Onceler: Operation: Fix genders?

Loud but harmless: YESSS!!!

Silent but deadly: Nevermind, I hate this group chat

Chapter Text

“Tommy!” The boy in question turned around to see Tubbo speeding towards him in her wheelchair.

“Do not run me over again!!” Tommy said, shielding his body. Tubbo came to a stop directly in front of him.

“That was one time!” he pouted. “And it was mostly an accident!”

“Mostly!? You ran into me full force and knocked me over. Then you called me roadkill!” 

Tubbo didn’t even have the decency to look guilty and instead smiled at the memory. She noticed when Tommy was giving her an unimpressed look. “Okay so maybe it wasn’t an accident. Still it was a long time ago and I think you should get over it. Anyways, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Tommy continued walking as Tubbo followed him, “Okay what do you wanna talk about?”

“I wanted to ask you if you wanted to join the little nail painting sessions Karl hosts! We’re doing another one tomorrow and it’s always really fun!”

“What!? No, I'm not a girl dickhead.” 

This time it was Tubbo who gave him an unimpressed look, “That’s some heteronormative bullshit there and you know it. Painting your nails isn’t only for girls y’know? There’s a rich history behind-”

“If I say I’ll go, will you stop lecturing me?” Tommy groaned. Tubbo nods enthusiastically, prompting another groan from Tommy. 

Detective shit

bee boi: i gto tommy to agre to jon het ailn painitg!

Silent but deadly: I swear you're spelling words wrong on purpose now

bee boi: no :)

Silent but deadly: Lack of autocorrect aside

Silent but deadly: Good job

the little mermaid: Yay! I’ll go tell Karl to expect Tommy to join us this weekend!

Silent but deadly: thank you

Silent but deadly: Where is Wil?

Loud but harmless: Dying cause my voice is going out :D

The Onceler: Oof

Not a furry: lol

Silent but deadly: L

Loud but harmless: this is bullying D:

Loud but harmless added Queer King to Detective shit

Queer King: What is this?

Loud but harmless: Eret they’re bullying me :”(

Not a furry: Snitch

The Onceler: Hi Eret! Welcome the the chat where we try to make realize Tommy that they aren’t cis! (:

Queer King: Oh you guys noticed too?? Me and Karl kinda guessed it

Silent but deadly: There’s only so many times someone can call themselves “Big Man” without it being suspicious 

Queer King: True

bee boi: we suhd addd karl :D

Silent but deadly: Tubbo I swear to Kristin

Queer King added Tik Tok goes the clock to Detective Shit

Queer King: Hello Karl, we’re trying to make Tommy have a gender crisis.

Not a furry: That is shit phrasing =_=

Queer King: But is it false

Tik Tok goes the clock: Niki says Tommy is joining nail painting this weekend. Can somebody please confirm or deny this?

Loud but harmless: the plan so far is to use cosmetic items to help Tommy notice

bee boi: karl brig yellooww

bee boi: plzzz

Tik Tok goes the clock: I actually just got a new shade of yellow. Any other color requests?

Silent but deadly: red and black

Loud but harmless: red and black

Not a furry: I hate when you guys do that ;-;

Tik Tok goes the clock: Ok! Eret and Ranboo, do you have any?

Queer King: Anything is fine with me

The Onceler: Dark purple please

bee boi added chaos to Detective Shit

the little mermaid: ...Why?

chaos: hello motherfuckers

bee boi: drista sed she wud stbb me if i diddnt aadd her

Not a furry: fair.

chaos: :)

chaos: now i heard we were gonna fuck with tommys gender :)

Silent but deadly: this is true. We also already have a plan.

chaos: ii didnt know Techno was in here :D

Silent but deadly: I’m the one behind the chat

chaos: ofc ofc expect nothing less

The Onceler: suck up

chaos: shut :) the :) fuck :) up :)

The Onceler: (: no (:

chaos: square up boob boy

The Onceler: i'm not afraid of you

Silent but deadly has kicked The Onceler and chaos from the chat

Silent but deadly: They can come back once they can behave

Not a furry: oof

Not a furry: couldn’t be me

Loud but harmless: Thin ice

Not a furry: shutting up now

Dream looks over at the other people in the car, smoothie in hand. Everyone, other than Eret as she was busy driving, was on their phones and texting. Nothing new was showing in the main group chats, so what was going on?

“Okay, guys, I’m feeling left out over here.”

Techno looks at Dream with a deadpan look on her face, placing her phone in her lap to free up her hand to sign. “Once you use your brain, I’ll add you to the chat.” That of course left Dream more questions than answers.

“Use my brain for what?”

Wilbur snickers from the front seat, turning to look back at Dream and signing. “I’ll give you a hint; Child.”

So it had to do with one of the gremlins, huh? Ok, which one? Probably not Fundy or Purpled, those two were constantly chill and shit. Ranboo? Nah, Techo wouldn’t be so secretive if it was Ranboo, same with Drista. That left Tubbo or Tommy. Which one was more likely? Wait... Tommy.

“Oh! Oh my Death. I’m dumb. Add me. I want to help.” 

Techno smirks before typing something on their phone. Dream’s phone goes off after a few seconds, showing a new group chat. You have been invited to Detective shit ? Is that seriously the best name they could come up with?

Detective shit

Silent but deadly has added Blobby Bish to Detective shit

bee boi: ew

Not a furry: gross who let him in here

Silent but deadly: Do you want to die?

Not a furry: Dre,,, my favorite person in the world how are you doing :DD

bee boi: lol

Silent but deadly has kicked bee boi from the chat

Silent but deadly: Thin Ice Fox boy.

Not a furry: Forgive me i fear :>

Loud but harmless has added bee boi to the chat

Loud but harmless: We need Tubbo since this is Tommy we are talking about

Silent but deadly: Dang it

Silent but deadly has added chaos and The Onceler to the chat

Silent but deadly: You two done fighting yet?

chaos: yes Techno

The Onceler: Yes Techno

Silent but deadly: Good

Blobby Bish: How do you get her to behave?!?!?

chaos: wait you added dream??? why D:

Silent but deadly: Because I like him, dont start or I will kick you again

chaos: fineeeeee

Loud but harmless: why doesn’t drista listen to me???? we use the same pronouns!!!

Silent but deadly: Clearly I’m the superior twin

chaos: she really is

The Onceler: facts ^^^

Loud but harmless: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?

Chapter Text

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

chaos: where is he

Silent but deadly: Where is who?

chaos: boob boy

The Onceler: don't tell her Techno

 Silent but deadly: What did you do???

The Onceler: nothing

chaos: DEY HIDD MI NERF BLASTER

The Onceler: I didn’t touch your shit

Chaos: Oh yeah then why are you hiding

The Onceler: Cuz I hid Tubbo’s nerf blaster

bee boi: THAT WSA U

The Oncler has went offline

Bee boi: COEM BAC SO I CAN BAET UR ASS

Space boi: I will tell you where Ranboo is hiding for money

The Onceler is online

The Onceler: Bitch

The Onceler has went offline

chaos: i will give you the $5 i found in dreams wallet

Blobby bish: I THOUGHT I HAD LOST THAT

chaos: yeah cuz I found it

chaos: in ur wallet

Space boi: Deal give me the money, he’s hiding in Foolish’s room

chaos: imma coming 4 u :)

Tommy didn’t really know why he was so nervous about this night. It was just painting nails, it wasn’t that big of a deal! But he couldn’t seem to shake off the anxiety. He was probably just blowing things out of proportions again. He would go to the nail painting session and everything would be fine. He would be fine, and he’d have totally banger nails by the end of it. He was “Big Man Extraordinaire Tommy Innit” and he wasn’t nervous about anything!

That was a lie.

A huge total lie.

Cause for some reason he was just standing outside Karl’s door and it was taking him all his willpower just to reach out for the doorknob. He knew they were all inside and waiting for him, but he just couldn’t move from the spot he was at. His stomach felt like it was constantly doing backflips. 

‘ This is stupid. It’s just fucking nailpolish.’ Tommy thought to himself. Yet he still couldn’t bring himself to go in. ‘ Okay on the count of three. 1...2….3!' 

Nope still there.

Maybe he should just go. This is obviously not worth all the trouble. He’ll tell Tubbo he’s sorry for breaking his promise and try his best to make it up to the shorter teen. Just as he settled on that and was about to walk away, Tubbo popped out of the door.

“Oh there you are Big T! We were just waiting for you!” Tubbo grabs Tommy's arm and yanks him into the room. 

Everyone looks towards the door as it opens a second time. Techno smirks and turns back to Wilbur, their attention returning to Wilbur’s phone as they look at nail designs. Ranboo and Eret both give welcoming smiles, Ranboo picking his head up from where it sat on their knees, which had been pulled up to their chest, to flash the smile before plopping it back down.

As Tubbo pulls Tommy along to a nest of pillows Tommy tentatively waves back at those who wave to him, a surprised squawk escaping his mouth when Tubbo drops both of them into the pillow nest. 

Tommy flicks his tail into his lap and situates himself, pushing back against the colorful pillows and crossing his legs while Karl clicks nail polish bottles onto the coffee table in seers room. 

While things are calm Tommy gives himself a chance to examine said room, focusing on the softly glowing green and purple lights, and the hanging greenery that sways softly when Karl brushes by them before perching on honks bed.

Tommy had never properly seen Karl’s room before, the delicate swirling details of the walls new to him, all open space and calming atmosphere. Music plays softly in the background, an instrumental playlist that fits Karl so distinctly, it’s obvious they made it themself. As the music around him played Tommy looked around seeing others grab nailpolish and start to paint.

Tommy anxiously looked at the colors, deciding on a pretty dark blue, salmon, and white color to work with. He wasn't too sure how well this was going to go but he hopes it ends well.

The sound of music, laughter and talking fades away as he focuses entirely on not messing up, biting the inside of his cheek each time the brush sways a little too close to the edges of his fingers. The colors don’t clash like he feared, and eventually he loses himself back into the fog of focus.

The light filtering in from one of the windows has darkened and lessened when Tommy focuses back into what’s around him. Everyone is relaxing and putting finishing touches on their nails; Niki swiping another layer of top-coat on her nails to make them shinier and harder to chip whilst leaning against Eret, George laying on Karl’s bed and fidgeting with a specific ring on his hands- glaring when he almost bumps the drying nail polish, Techno watching Wil quietly while Wilbur adds another top coat to Tech’s nails. A few of the others are huddled together, Tubbo having been watching Tommy work whilst humming.

“This is your first time painting your nails, right?” Tubbo hums and fidgets with his hands. 

Tommy nods, swearing when he almost bumps a nail that hasn't fully dried yet, one of his raccoon ears he had shifted into flicking. “Never done this before.”

Tubbo grins at Tommy, bumping his shoulder lightly. “You did good, big man!”

The two spend a little longer in Karl’s room before leaving, Tubbo going to grab something to eat while Tommy gets ready for bed. Once in bed, Tommy stares at the colorful nails in the dim light, softly smiling. Maybe he’s allowed to like this, maybe it’s not so bad.

And yeah, he did do good.

Chapter Text

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

Loud but harmless: I CAN SPEAK

Loud but harmless: sorta

Loud but harmless: It’s painful scratchy and shit still BUT I can speak some

BIG MAN: Fuck. EVERYONE RUN 

Loud but harmless: TOMMY

BIG MAN: Wilbur gaining his voice is awful

Loud but harmless: TOMMY WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME

lemme sleep: lol 

Loud but harmless: Heart been broke so many times

Not a furry: Anyone seen Eret? I can’t find them ;-;

lemme sleep: runway

Not a furry: Thanks George

The Onceler: School (derogatory)

Loud but harmless: Homework (derogatory)

Silent but deadly: People (derogatory)

the little mermaid: are you guys ok?

bee boi: nop

Loud but harmless: no, ive been betrayed

Loud but harmless: Backstabbed

the little mermaid: dont worry Wil, i like when you can speak

Loud but harmless: no longer feeling as betrayed

Wilbur knocked quietly at Techno’s door, waiting a few moments for a response. When orca got the mental response from orcas twin, informing Wilbur that orca could enter, they opened the door and stepped inside. 

“Hey, are you feeling alright?"

“Just a little overwhelmed.” Techno was sitting on its bed, a red fidget cube being turned over slowly within its hands as it messed with each side of the cube.

Wilbur approaches the other, climbing onto the bed to sit beside them, leaving orcas phone on the edge. Techno tosses an infinity cube fidget towards their twin, who catches it before laying out on the bed with orcas head beside Techno. 

They remain there for a while, not needing more than to stim while quietly in one another’s company. At some point, Techno starts to quietly hum, bringing a light smile to Wilbur’s face, as they sit there together.

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

Under da sea!: first week over, hows it feel 

Goopy boi: better than i thought it would honestly

Under da sea!: Told you it wasnt as bad! The teachers are all pretty chill

Goopy boi: They are! 

Goopy boi: the classes were actually pretty fun too! Being in them with some of you was nice

Loud but harmless: I made a new friend!

Silent but deadly: Name?

Loud but harmless: Their name is Sally! I forgot to ask for their pronouns tho :(

BIG MAN: L

bee boi: L

chaos: L

Loud but harmless: Why must you do this to me? ;-;

Queer King: Youre easy to bully lol

Loud but harmless: betrayal??? From my own qpp???? Oh jail for Eret!! Jail for a thousands of years

Queer King: Wilbur is a miette kinnie

Silent but deadly: she’s just a theatre nerd

lemme sleep: and a jd kinnie

Loud but harmless: Rude but true

Goopy boi: who’s jd?

Loud but harmless: You’re joking right /nm

Silent but deadly: Not again,

Silent but deadly: Wilbur please

Goopy boi: No???? Is he from a book?

lemme sleep: You guys can’t see it rn but Wilbur looks like he’s going to combust

Queer King: Can comfirm he does indeed look like that

Silent but deadly: Wilbur take it to dms

Silent but deadly: If not im about to set one of my pets after you i swear

Loud but harmless: Fineeeeee

Loud but harmless: Meet me in dms, slime boy

Goopy boi: I’m scared

Silent but deadly: You should be

Benchtrio

nukes: Tommy! yuo wnnt to jioon us in karls rom fro naiilpolsh again???

TRASH PANDA: Idk

nukes: cmooooooonnnnn

Dragon Scales: It'll be fun

TRASH PANDA: it gives me Thoughts

nukes: thughts???

Dragon Scales: Oh?

nukes: wht kinds fo thougts

Dragon Scales: I think I know which thoughts

Dragon Scales: Want to talk about it?

TRASH PANDA: oh you fucks

TRASH PANDA: you set me up you sly asshsoles

Dragon Scales: Is that a yes?

TRASH PANDA: Of course its a yes come here

nukes: on our way bossman

Chapter Text

When Ranboo and Tubbo arrive at Tommy and Tubbo’s shared room, neither are surprised to see the third trio member in his bed nest. 

“Heya bossman!” Tubbo calls out, looking like the cat that ate the canary. 

“I blame both of you for my suffering.” Tommy doesn’t move from where he’s hidden in the blankets and pillows, muffled voice echoing out to the pair. They can see he’s shifted to have more raccoon features than normal, tail flicking anxiously and ears twitching at their approach.

“To be fair, we weren’t the ones to start it,” Ranboo stops at the edge of the nest instead of joining it, watching as Tubbo climbs in without hesitation.

“Yeah! We just helped make it more obvious; and even that wasn’t started by us.” She gestures for Ranboo to join them both in the nest, flopping over on top of Tommy after. “Share with us bossman, what’s these thoughts of yours?”

End hesitates for a moment, as void isn’t one to intrude in private spaces, before end climbs into the nest as well. They sit beside the other two as Tommy groans. “It’s just all so confusing.”

 “Hey, maybe we can help you work through it—neither of us are exactly cisgender, after all.” Ranboo says lightheartedly.

“Yeah, yeah.” He sighs before turning his head, not bothering to move Tubbo off him. “I was getting there.”

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

Space boi: @Sans the skeleton so that thing arrived today

Space boi: Thank you

Not a furry: wait what did he get you?

Space boi: guess

Not a furry: Knowing how your brother is, it could be anything

Not a furry: Probs space themed tho

Space boi: Duh.

Space boi: sends image of an alien UFO stress ball in stars hand

Space boi: Punz found this somewhere and bought me 5

Not a furry: thats actually really cool

the little mermaid: woah! That is so cool!

Tik Tok goes the clock: :O woah!!

Blobby Bish: what kinda stress ball is that :o

Space boi: They’re all different kinds.

Space boi: Y’know just not slime

the little mermaid: fair

Goopy boi: What do you have against slime balls 

Space boi: Let’s just say a lot of people have tasted the inside of one one too many times

Sans the skeleton: @Space boi You’re welcome for the balls

Space boi: I hate you don’t ever speak to me again

“Well yeah, it sounds like you might just be trans,” Tubbo says. He’s moved off of Tommy, who is now sitting up beside him, and is laying on their back in the nest.

“Thank you for that wonderful insight, Tubbo.” Tommy rolls his eyes.

“Does it feel right, though?”

Tommy looks at Ranboo for a moment after ends question, “I mean, I think so. I think I'd be a lot more comfortable with it?”

“Well, we could try using the pronouns for a few days first?”

There’s a long pause of thought.

“I-I think—I think I’ve already thought of this enough in the last week . Fuck it, I’m female now.”

Tubbo laughs loudly, rolling over to face the other. “Got it, bossman! Here we have Tommyinnit, biggest woman around!”

Tommy laughs brightly in response, Ranboo smiles as void watches the two.

“Ah shit, what about name.”

“Well you don't have to change your name if you still vibe with Tommy.”

“ No I want one that’s more feminine, Tommy is from my time as a big man, I need something new.”

“Oh! Well,” Ranboo speaks up, gaining the attention of the other two, “I may have a solution to that.”

Chapter Text

“Just tell me who you’re textiiiiiinnngg.” Tommy groans, drawing out the word.

“Nope!” Ranboo continues to lead Tommy as they walk towards their room, Tubbo laughing at the two.

“C’moooooooonnnn pleaseee.”

“Nope!”

Ranboo opens their room door, stepping inside and going to the far bookshelf in their room, scanning over a set of leather-bound books. 

Tommy groans and sits down in ends office chair, spinning in it while Tubbo sits on the desk beside her.

“Are you going to tell me what you’re doing yet?”

“Nope~!”

She groans loudly again, spinning once more in her chair as she impatiently waits for Ranboo to finish whatever ends doing. Just as she’s about to spin again for the upteenth time, someone walked through the door.

Dream, as blob steps into the doorway, raises an eyebrow. “Is the child back to being annoying?”

“Tommy’s always being annoying. It’s kinda her thing.” 

Dream’s eyes widened before breaking out in a smile. “Oh you finally realized. Congrats.”

“How many other people knew about this apart from me?!” Tommy asked incredulously. 

“You called yourself a big man a suspicious amount of times. There was a whole group chat.” Ranboo said sympathetically, patting her back. 

Tommy covered her face flustered. “Whatever, why is the green bitch here anyways.”

“Because I was bringing Techno, you child.”

“Where are they then? I didn’t see him come from behind you.” Tubbo says, leaning forwards from the desk and almost falling as she tries to peer behind blob.

As she said that a tiny little hand came from Dream’s pocket, waving at them before Techno completely climbs out of Dream’s pocket. He floats down gently to the ground before turning into her regular size. 

“Hello.” 

Tommy throws her head back, groaning yet again. “Booooo now I got to deal with these two?”

Tubbo, finding more amusement in the situation than Tommy, waves back enthusiastically. “Hello Blade!”

Techno pointedly ignores Tommy as it gives a small smile to Tubbo, before turning to Ranboo. “Took her long enough to realize. So, we’re doing this now?”

“Doing what!? Are you gonna murder me!? You better not murder me I’ll tell mum.” Tommy threatened. 

Techno gave him a dead look. “If I wanted to murder you I’d hire Tubbo to do it.”

“Tubbo would never betray me big man. Right Tubbo?” Tommy speaks, turning to Tubbo for said confirmation.

“Yes Tommy. I would never betray you for 51 yellow m&m’s.” Tubbo says as his fingers are specifically crossed-shaped.

“That’s highly specific Tubbo, what the fuck.”

Dream nodded in solemn agreement, “Everybody has a price.”

Ranboo steps over to the desk, interrupting their banter as end flips through the pages of one of the leather-backed books. They stop at one page, near the middle of the book, and hand it to Tommy.

"Here's some names starting with T, see if you like any!"

Tommy pauses, holding the open book. "... Isn't this one of your fae name books?"

Ranboo smiled kindly, “Yeah but I don’t mind sharing some names. Or in this case a trade. "

“A trade?” Tommy asked inquisitively.

"Yep! A deadname, for a new name!" Ranboo grins brightly, watching as clarity appears in Tommy's expression.

“So once I pick a new name, Tommy’s no longer my name?” Ranboo nods. 

Tommy looks down at the pages of the book. The names are all written neatly in black ink. There are at least 50 names on a singular page. He takes a note of the ones he finds interest in. ‘ Theseus? What kinda nerd was named fucking Theseus….Tabitha is nice but I don’t think it fits… Thelonious? Definitely not…. Tara is a bit closer to what I like. There are just so many names.’

Ranboo smiles encouragingly at her, “Take your time. Pick the one that best fits you.”

Tommy thanks end, looking through the book again. ' Why does Ranboo have so many names anyway. And how often are they traded away. Oh wait, this one looks nice. Tavia… I like it.’ 

“Tavia. I like that one." 

Ranboo grins, taking the book from Tommy and picking up a pen from their desk, holding it over the page. "You sure?"

"Yes."

Ranboo nods and crosses out the name from ends book. When done, they flip to the back of the book, where a few empty pages reside.

"May I have your name? I need your permission to have it."

Tommy hesitated. If she said she’d no longer be Tommy. 

That sounds like a good thing more than a bad one. 

"Tommy."

Ranboo smiles wider, writing the name in their book before closing it.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Tavia." 

Tavia smiles, feeling a warmth go through her. That made her happier than what she expected she would. 

“Okay now hand your pronouns over." Techno signs annoyedly, though the calm smile on their face shows they aren't really mad.

They take out their own leather backed journal, this one the size of its palm rather than larger like Ranboo's, and flip it open.

"Well I would like to have she/her pronouns—” Techno crosses a set of the feminine pronouns out of its book, officially giving them to the younger “—and in return I give you my ex he/him pronouns.”

Techno writes the pronouns down in his book, closing it and signing once they have a hand free. “Pleasure to properly meet you, Miss Tavia.”

Tavia lets out a couple of happy squeaks, not even caring how other people can hear her. 

They all smile at her each with their own forms of congratulations. Tubbo leaps on top of her in happiness and they both fall to the group laughing and yelling. And it isn’t until Tavia stands back up that she realizes she’s crying.  Techno wipes a tear from his sister’s eyes. 

"I’m so proud of you." That just gets her crying more as she buries her face into its shoulder. She feels added weight on her back as she realizes that Tubbo and Ranboo are hugging her too. Techno, usually not one for long hugs, decides to allow it just this once. Dream stands to the side slightly, not wanting to interrupt on the sweet moment. At least until Tavia calls out to him. 

“Get over here you fucking awkward green blob; don’t be rude.” 

He laughs lightly and steps over to the group, hugging Tavia with the other three. 

“I’m happy for you.”

“T-Thank you, ” She whispers, her voice cracking slightly almost silent. “I’m happy for me too. ”

…

"So, welcome to the exclusive club."

"Excuse me what ?" Tavia speaks through laughter in her tone.

Tubbo laughs brightly. "The exclusive club of people who know of their gender mafia . This is the mafia job everyone is always guessing about." She gives a wide gremlin powers showing all the way through. "And now you're part of the crew, and get to help keep the secret!"

Tavia is incredulous for a second, before immediately exploding in laughter. “We thought you were selling drugs or shit.”

Techno smirks as they sign, “That was kind of the point.”

"Gender euphoria is the only drug we sell.” Ranboo agreed. “It’s better than crack.”

Chapter Text

Supernaturals inc.

BIG MAN has changed their name to TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS

Queer King: :0

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

Goopy boi: Congratulations!!

Queer King: Congrats<33

Not a furry: welcome to the cult 

the little mermaid: oh my gosh congrats!!!!!!

Caw Caw Bitch: I’m so proud of you Tavia

Mama Death: Welcome to the gals Tavia

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: i’ve already cried today no

chaos: your slightly cooler

chaos: not much tho

chaos: 5% maybe

Tik Tok goes the clock: Sapnap and Quackity don’t have their phones right now but we’re all happy for you!!!

Lemon boy: sam is being a loser right now and crying so I’m saying congratulations from both of us

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: L

bee boi: shes crying for this lmao

The muffin man: I’ll excuse the swearing just this once. I’m happy for you <3

Captain Kraken: Congrats duckling

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: okay this is too much support I’m going back to my nest

Silent but deadly: If anyone at school invalidates you, I will revoke their kneecap privileges

Blobby Bish: ^^^ seconded they can’t fight us both

Loud but harmless: no they can’t fight techno you would be demolished so fast

Blobby Bish: says the twink

Loud but harmless: Suck it green boi

Blobby Bish: THATS A VOCAL TIC NOT A WRITING ONE FUCK OFF

Loud but harmless: Techno, your qpp is being mean :(

Silent but deadly: good, suffer

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: Ranbitch fucking kidnapped me someone help

The Onceler: Did not, shush

bee boi: tis is in fct a kid naping gib snakes

The Onceler: *This is in fact a kidnapping, give snacks

Not a furry: Guess your on your own Tavia

Not a furry: I saw purpled with the last m&m’s

Space boi: snitch

Space boi: I’m placing a hit on you

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: sends a picture of her in front of a full wall mirror, her hair is longer and done up in twin buns while she’s wearing a white dress  

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: Shapeshifting while trans is cool

the little mermaid: Oh my death you look so good! I have some of my old dresses that might fit you well if you’d like them?

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: YES

Queer King: Runway?

the little mermaid: runway, absolutely

Chapter Text

Ten minutes later, Niki sweeps into the back room attached to the runway, dresses and skirts piled up on ponds arms. She steps over to one of the empty vanities—nearby where Eret’s pile of clothes were left—depositing the stack of clothes onto the counter, before turning to an excited Tavia. 

“Any color preference first?”

“Just give me something fun.” She grins with her words, bouncing on the balls of her feet while her hands happily flap. 

“Got it!” Turning back to the clothes, river takes a moment to sift through the clothes before pulling a dress from the collection. She takes out her strawberry dress, the one she bought with Eret for them to match. It’s black with strawberry print and flowy at the ankles.  River holds it up, an enthusiastic smile splitting across her face and revealing her sharp teeth. 

Tavia grins, bouncing more, “That’s the strawberry dress. Yes please. ”

When she walks out on the runway a minute later, she’s in the dress, the material nicely complimenting her figure. Niki claps her hands excitedly and the others offer various compliments and Tubbo yells for her to do a twirl. Tavia flips him the bird but does a twirl anyway. She’s having so much fun and honestly who knew dresses could be so poggers. 

“Oh I wanna go next!” Tubbo yells running into the back. 5 minutes later, she’s out with a white suit jacket over a pink collared shirt, a black tie that looks like it belongs to Ranboo, and tan pants with a ruffled slit mermaid skirt over it. 

“This is how I strut down the runway.” Tubbo spoke, as he walked down said runway. 

“Wait, is that mine? Why are you wearing my tie?” Ranboo asked inquisitively.

“I look awesome in it, obviously!”

The others nodded in agreement.

“He has a point.”

“She does look good in it.” 

Tubbo looks satisfied at the consensus. “Alright your turn big man!”

“Wait, why me?” Ranboo protested as Tubbo pulled end to the back. Tubbo only rolled her eyes at him. “It’s the natural order of things. Don’t mess with the balance.”

“Tubbo there’s no bala-” Ranboo tried to say but Tubbo shushed him halfway.

“SHHHH THE BALANCE.”

Ranboo walked away sighing as Tubbo dragged end along into the back room.

After a few minutes—and a considerable amount of suspicious noises—Ranboo emerged onto the runway in a full pink suit with a white collared shirt and a matching pink tie underneath. Tubbo hooked his arm into Ranboo’s.

“Look big man we match!” Tubbo said smiling, as they walked down together. Ranboo shook their head, more fond than anything as voi led him and Tubbo back to their seats. 

Niki clapped her hands, “Ranboo you look great!! Who’s next!?”

Eret stood up, winked, and confidently walked to the backroom. Only a minute later she stepped out wearing a light green off the shoulder crop top with a black fishnet long sleeve underneath that was neatly tucked into ripped, bleached skinny jeans she was wearing paired with a pair of black boots with studded heels. A long dark purple open sweater trailed behind him almost like a cape. Their regular sunglasses swapped out for a more stylish designer pair.

The others clapped excitedly while Eret striked a pose at the end of the runway. She twirls, striking another before jumping down to join their miniature crowd. 

Niki stands, grin forming as she walks towards the back room. "I forgot I have a new dress to show off!" 

It isn't long before river is walking out on the runway, sleek black dress over her form. The dress has a low cut front and cuts in the side, with silver chains holding small butterfly charms around the waist. 

She stops at the end of the runway, the others admiring and complimenting her on the dress. She smiles brightly from the compliments before stepping down.

As she takes her seat Karl stands from his own. "I call next!" Seer excitedly runs into the back room, causing light laughter to spread between the other seven. 

Honk steps out onto the runway only a minute later, wearing a black sweatshirt with a white collared shirt underneath, the collar pulled out over the neck of the sweatshirt. The top is paired with simple, lighter blue jeans, though multiple rings and bracelets are placed along seers hands. He gives a simple, sassy pose, to the amusement of the others, and grins as he shows off seers outfit before following the others in getting down off the runway for the next person.

There's no hesitation when Wilbur jumps up next, shouting about an outfit idea as it disappears into the back room. She takes a few minutes before emerging, strutting down the runway.

She's wearing a white cropped sweater, the natural holes in the arms of the sweater allowing the color of her scales to shine through. Paired with the top, he has a dark red skirt on, reaching down to a few inches above their knees, along with flat sandals, floral lace along the shoes. She twirls, gaining 'oohs' and claps from the others as he poses. 

She jumps down from the runway and pulls their twin from its seat and towards the backroom. Rolling their eyes, Techno swats her hands away, stepping past the laughing siren and going into the backroom. 

Techno walks onto the runway a short few minutes later, black heels clickling lightly on the runway floor. She has a long sleeved black shirt on, tucked into a pale pink layered tulle skirt. They spin at the end of the walkway, hand on their hip as they pose to the clapping of the others. It gives a joking bow and a small smile before stepping down as well. 

The next few hours are spent in the runway room, with each person changing their outfit multiple times.

Chapter Text

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

Arson pog: Im setting the history classes on fire

Arson pog: who wants to join me

Goopy boi: IS THIS ABOUT CORLLS CLASS

Goopy boi: BECAUSE IF SO THEN YES IM IN

Silent but deadly: What about Corrl’s class

rubber duck: Ooooo arson

Silent but deadly: Im in let her class burn

Loud but harmless: You jumped on that fast

Loud but harmless: Im also in though shes a piece of shit

rubber duck: when are we doing this? 

Arson pog: tonight so no one can stop us

Loud but harmless: YES

Goopy boi: Who has supplies for this?

rubber duck: Me

Silent but deadly: Me

Arson pog: Me

Loud but harmless: Me

Goopy boi: Oh good were set then

chaos: WHATS THIS ABOUT BURNING SHIT

Loud but harmless: oh no

chaos: i hope you were intending to invite me

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: UH ME TOO

bee boi: i wanna arson

rubber duck: I think this is a high schoolers thing

Arson pog: no no let them come

Arson pog: They have extra skill with getting away without problems

Loud but harmless: but theyre children

Silent but deadly: Wilbur, you are one of the most conspicuous fuckers here, you need all the help you can get

Loud but harmless: don’t you mean least inconspicuous 

Silent but deadly: That’s the same thing. Double negatives Wilbur.

Loud but harmless: Oh

Loud but harmless: WAIT HEY

The Onceler: L

chaos: HA

Silent but deadly: One condition.

chaos: what

bee boi: what

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: WHAT

The Oncler: Please don’t do that it’s only slightly less creepy when Wilbur and Techno do it

Silent but deadly: Tavia has to shut up for this

Silent but deadly: She’s even worse than Wilbur

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: Silence for arson

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: Fair trade, alright

Arson pog: Wait one sec

Arson pog has deleted 43 messages

Not a furry: what-

Arson pog has added Goopy boi, Silent but deadly, Loud but harmless, rubber duck, chaos, TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS, bee boi, and The Onceler to the chat

Loud but harmless: It needs a name

Loud but harmless has renamed the chat to Eliza’s fanclub <3

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: fucking nerd

Silent but deadly changed Loud but harmless’s nickname

Aaron Burn: :)

chaos: how r u and techno even twins 

Aaron Burn: :(

Aaron Burn changed chaos’s nickname

Tiny Peggy: oh fuck you

Aaron Burn changed The Onceler’s nickname

Tall Peggy: …

Tiny Peggy: OH FUK U

Bee boi: wimblur dinsh hte balance~

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: TUBBO STOP TRYING TO MAKE THE BALANCE HAPPEN IT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN

Aaron Burn changed TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS’s nickname

Eliza but lesbian: wait why am i eliza

Silent but deadly: Cause Tubbo is scarier

Aaron Burn: cuz you’re a queen :)

Eliza but lesbian: Can’t believe Wilbur is my only other sibling

Tall Peggy: Wait what did I do????

Eliza but lesbian: exist

Tall Peggy: Fair enough

Aaron Burn changed bee boi’s nickname

Angelica with a knife: the paly wuld be so mush shortr if sumom had give angeilca a knif

Aaron Burn changed Goopy boi’s nickname

Roasted Ham-ilton: :D

Roasted Ham-ilton: I don’t know what this means :)

Silent but deadly: It means they’ll kill you one day

Roasted Ham-ilton: D:

Aaron Burn: WAIT CHARLIE NO

Aaron Burn: I would never hurt you<3333

Aaron Burn changed Silent but deadly’s nickname

Aaron Boar changed Aaron Boar’s nickname

Aaron Burn: Fair enough have a nice day

Arson pog: Do I get a nickname change?

Aaron Burn changed Arson pog’s nickname 

Arson poggers: Fuck you Wilbur

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

Not a furry: wait what

Not a furry: what are they doing

The Onceler: Hamilton rp

Not a furry: Oh, ok

Not a furry: Imma go burn shit

Loud but harmless: Burning things is irresponsible >:/

Not a furry: I do not care go back to your rp or whatever that is

Loud but harmless: Is this how you speak to your father

Not a furry: y e s

Loud but harmless: fair enough have a nice day

Silent but deadly: Fundy

Not a furry: No I’m sorry Wilbur father dearest.

Not a furry: I will be more respectful from now on to my parental figures

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: L

chaos: L

bee boi: L

The Oncler: L

Not a furry: Et tu Ranboo?

The Onceler: Yes

Eliza’s fanclub <3

Scary pig added Not a furry to Eliza’s fanclub <3

Not a furry: Why?

Scary pig: Alibi

Scary pig added Blobby Bish, King Queer, lemme sleep, Space boi, Tik Tok goes the clock, Under da sea, the little mermaid, and can’t stop the grind to Eliza’s fanclub <3

Aaron Burn: I know you are wondering why we brought you here

Blobby Bish: You want us to cover for you guys while you burn down the history department

Aaron Burn: …

Blobby Bish: Sapnap and I are in the same room and flame can’t keep a secret for shit

Arson poggers: :”(

Blobby Bish: Anyway what makes you think I’ll do it without a price

Scary pig: …

Blobby Bish: Of course I’ll cover for you<3333

Space boi: simp

Space boi: I would still liked to be paid for my services

Aaron Burn changed Space boi’s nickname

Aaron Burn: I will give you $15.62

Spy On The Inside: That is a highly specific amount

Aaron Burn: Yeah it’s all the money i found in Dream’s hoodie

Blobby Bish: HEY

Blobby Bish: Why is everyone taking my money!?!?

Aaron Burn: Stop leaving your hoodies inside Techno’s room and maybe you wouldn’t be so easy to rob

Spy On The Inside: I’ll take it

Not a furry: Can I get a hamilton nickname

Aaron Burn changed Not a furry’s nickname

Furrydosia: Father why do you wish to see me suffer

Aaron Burn: we match<3333

rubber duck: sorry guys that i disappeared i lost my phone to a goose

rubber duck: it took a serious bread deal to get my shit back

Aaron Burn changed rubber duck’s name

Alexander Quackity: Wilbur this isn’t even creative what the fuck

Aaron Burn: Just seemed right Alex Quackity

Chapter Text

Eliza’s fanclub <3

Arson poggers: is everyone ready?

Arson poggers: supplies and all??

Scary pig: Yes

Aaron Burn: I forgot my lighter ;-; give me a second

Angelica with a knife: i hacs my siht 

Tall Peggy: *have *shit

Tall Peggy: I have my things too

Roasted Ham-ilton: I have my things :D

Eliza but lesbian: I do not

Eliza but lesbian: I can't find my can of kerosene

Aaron Burn: You have a can of kerosene????

Eliza but lesbian: not anymore I just lost it

Short Peggy: yes i am ready

Short Peggy: i just found this abandoned can of kerosene in tavia's secret hoard

Eliza but lesbian: ????????

Aaron Burn: Not unpacking that

Aaron Burn: Wheres Quackity?

Arson poggers: he's with me :-)

Aaron Burn: ew why does it have a nose 

Arson poggers: Cause unlike y'all I want my smileys to breathe 

Aaron Burn: that's fucking stupid

Scary pig: Focus

Scary pig: Are the covers ready?

Furrydosia: yea

Spy On The Inside: Yup

Blobby Bish: yes

the little mermaid: Jack and I are ready!

Aaron Burn: lighter acquired, meet outside

“Is this safe?”

Wilbur rolls their eyes at Charlie’s question as they use the stolen keys in his hand to unlock the driver’s door of Eret’s car. “Sure it is! Permit is close enough to license, right? Not like I'm going in without any idea how to drive.”

“There are definitely not enough seats for all of us.”

“Just means we can sit on the car floor!” Tubbo grins brightly as she follows Techno to the back of the car. The pink haired twin pulls the hatch on the back of the car open as Wilbur unlocks it, placing their larger items into the space in the back.

“Yeah! I call front!” Tavia nearly shoves past Tubbo as she shoves her own items into the back of the vehicle, instantly moving around towards the front again.

Rolling its eyes, Techno leaves the other teens to close the hatch once everything is in the car. They walk around and climb into the passenger seat, beside Wilbur who is already in the driver’s seat.

Two minutes later, Wilbur is driving them away from the castle.

Charlie still looks extremely uncomfortable, his gaze drifting constantly to the duo sitting in the aisle between seats; the satyr and shapeshifter are both grinning widely at this rare chance to actually sit in the car floor while it’s moving. Drista, annoyed at having still been forced to take a seat, kicks the back of Sapnap’s seat, the teen trying flame’s best to ignore her while Wilbur drives on in front of flame. Quackity records the chaos of the gremlins with his phone, snickering at Sapnap’s unfortunate predicament.

Wilbur’s phone is hooked up to the car, and the Hamilton playlist is turned on. 

Of course.

Wilbur sings along to the songs as they play, completely ignoring the others in the back seat while she drives the car.

After parking the car—hidden in the corner of the parking lot where the trees and bushes keep it out of sight of the street—the group makes their way over the fences around the back doors of the school.

Opening the door is just as easy as getting over the fence had been. A quick use of magic and the locks are no longer serving their purpose. 

They travel the dark, empty corridors, passing classrooms of an array of subjects before reaching their target. 

History hall.

Then, they have fun.

Gasoline is poured. Kerosene soaks into the chairs and desks across the rooms. Wooden cabinets are broken, their pieces and contents used to make a bonfire in Corll's class. Their  attack is focused, of course, on Corll’s classroom, her horrible teaching and even worse attitude towards her students being the leading cause of their escapade. With the 8 of them, their work is done quickly, taking only 20 minutes to set everything up.

They take a lighter.

And let it all burn.

Chapter Text

“Watching it burn…”

Their grins are all bright, wide, sharp. Eyes reflect the flames, glinting dangerously in the light.

Sapnap laughs wildly, eyes glowing in the presence of his own power. The flames burn hotter than they would on their own.

Quackity hollars out a cheer, Drista joining him as the room is progressively engulfed by the flames. 

Techno laughs, genuine and chaotic, and Wilbur quickly joins in.

Charlie grins, too far to be human, and he allows slimeself to be a little less human and a little more himself , despite their location, as he begins to laugh with the others.

Tavia and Tubbo headbutt each other before turning back to the flames, basking in the warmth that comes from destroying something that deserves it.

Then, they’re gone.

They know it won't take long for the authorities to be alerted, so they quickly take their leave, running down halls with the flames crackling in wake.

The fire alarm starts to blare when they’re halfway out of the building.

None of them look back.

Supernaturals inc.

Caw Caw Bitch: Has anyone seen Wilbur? I need to ask them something

Space boi: Nope I haven't seen her

Not a furry: me either

Caw Caw Bitch: Niki have you seen her?

the little mermaid: Yeah earlier I'm sure he's around here somewhere

Caw Caw Bitch: That's okay I'll just ask Techno

Blobby Bish: NO

Caw Caw Bitch: ...

Blobby Bish: I finally got them to go to sleep and you don't wanna wake Techno do you

Captain Kraken: Where's Drista???? 

Captain Kraken: I can't find her anywhere and it's her bedtime

Babysitter Rose: Have you checked the vents?

Captain Kraken: Not yet good idea

Eliza’s Fanclub <3 

Furrydosia: when are you guys headed home they've already started to ask questions!!!

Tall Peggy: Wait was that today???

Furrydosia: I thought you went with them? 

Tall Peggy: No??? I was lookout

Short Peggy: youre a terible look out

Tall Peggy: fair but you don't get to say it

Angelica with a knife: ur a terible lookout

Tall Peggy: SEE Tubbo gets to say it!

Short Peggy: awful sus behavior of u boo boy

Scary pig: We'll be back in 15 minutes just stall

Blobby Bish: Oh thank Death 

Blobby Bish: I just told Phil you were sleeping 

Scary pig: At this time? And he believed you?

Blobby Bish: I'm not sure if he believes me or not but he's not taking any chances. He knows how hard it is to get you to sleep 

Scary pig: Wait something just came up. It might take us a little longer than we expected 

Blobby Bish: Techno????

Blobby Bish: TECHNO???

Spy On The Inside: What's going on? What's the detour?

Arson poggers: It seems Techno is too busy arguing with Wilbur but we're getting chased by the police so yeah

Alexander Quackity: we'll be home a bit later

“Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.” 

“Wilbur! Do something! ” Leaning up from where he’s now unbuckled, Sapnap yells at the driving hybrid, hand on the middle console to steady flameself as flame looks behind the vehicle.

“I’m trying! What do you want me to do, crash Eret’s car?!”

“I don’t know! Just get us away from the fucking police!” 

Turning down a side street, Wilbur presses its foot harshly to the gas pedal, the car speeding down through the neighborhood. Upon reaching the end, she swerves the car to the right, waiting until the end of the street to turn sharply to the left onto another main road. 

In the middle row, behind Techno, Charlie desperately grasps the armrest of his seat in one hand and the grab handle above the door in the other. Sitting between the actual seats, Tubbo and Tavia cheer on Wilbur’s crazy driving. Drista just laughs at the chaos.

“Fuck fuck fuck—this isn't working!”

This time, Quackity speaks up. “No shit! We’re so fucked if we get caught!”

“I know! Fuck!” Thinking quickly, Wilbur instead starts to roll down his window.

“Wilbur, what are you—!”

“Techno, take the wheel.” She suddenly releases the driving wheel, pulling its leg onto the seat as they turn to the window, standing up in the driver’s space and leaning their torso out of the car. 

Techno lets out a panicked squeak as the car swerves with the sudden loss of a driver. It quickly grabs the steering wheel to steady the vehicle, climbing over the middle console to be able to step on the gas pedal to properly drive.

Outside the window, Wilbur starts to sing. 

There’s no words to his song, he doesn’t need them for this. 

He just needs her voice. 

Behind them, the two police cruisers that had been following slow to a near stop, before turning and disappearing into neighborhood streets. 

Wilbur drops back into the seat, squishing in beside Techno as they regain control of the vehicle. 

She only grins as her twin shoots her a glare while climbing back to the passenger seat. 

It’s another ten minutes of faster than legal driving before they can see the castle through the trees ahead of them. 

Wilbur slows the car down, just suddenly enough that it jostles everyone else in the car.

“Why do you want me to stop the car so badly?”

“I’m not about to get caught, Wilbur.” Using the opportunity, Techno opens the door and steps out of the car, closing it behind her. She smirks to her twin as her wings appear on her back, fluttering into the air and shrinking down into her inch tall size to be less visible.

“Techno has the right idea, I’m out.” Quackity quickly climbs to the front, climbing out of the car before shifting into a raven, disappearing in the darkness.

“Good luck, fuckers!” Tavia quickly follows their lead, climbing out of the car and shifting into a bird, Tubbo laughing quietly as she follows, knowing he can make the leap and climb to his and Tavia’s shared room.

Drista smirks and climbs to the front of the car, following the others in making an exit. “I’m not looking to be grounded, either. Sucks to suck!” She runs off to the side of the castle, leaving Wilbur, Sapnap, and Slimecicle alone in the car. 

“... Anyone else?”

“What am I gonna do, teleport?” Sapnap responds to Wilbur.

“Fair enough.” 

Wilbur drives the car up to the front of the castle, parking it in the same space Eret parks each day and quickly turning it off. 

The three sneak inside, managing to avoid any of the adults on their way in. 

School is cancelled until the next Monday. During the day, the school gathers all the students together for an assembly, discussing the arson and both warning and asking the students to please not burn down the school. Due to how many students find mirth in the entire situation, their joyful smirks and snickering are overlooked by the school staff. 

Heist Successful.

Chapter Text

Eliza’s Fanclub <3

Scary pig: @everyone leave the chat so there’s no evidence. 

Scary pig has left the chat

16 members have left the chat

Aaron Burn: We removed ourselves from the narrative… and the history department from our school

Aaron Burn: o7

Aaron Burn has deleted Eliza’s Fanclub <3

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

ORDER: I leave for one weekend.

ORDER: Why was part of the high school set on fire?

Arson pog: it wasn’t me this time

Arson pog: I was with Karl and Quackity when it happened

rubber duck: This is true

Tik Tok goes the clock: I was home watching a movie!

Silent but deadly: Wasnt me

Blobby Bish: We we’re all around the castle that night 

Blobby Bish: so it wasnt any of us

ORDER: I don’t believe any of this,

ORDER: You’re lucky I’m out of town still.

Babysitter Rose: I’m not

Arson pog: Oh shit

Arson pog: hello Hannah

Arson pog: How has your day been

Babysitter Rose: Pretty good, actually

Babysitter Rose: Though I have been around all weekend

Arson pog: Im glad youve had a good day

Babysitter Rose: I have some more homework to do though, so ill see you all later tonight

Arson pog: Okay, see you later

ORDER: Suspicious behavior

ORDER: As I said before, I don’t believe that none of you were involved.

ORDER: But I’ll let it slide for now.

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

Blobby Bish: Last game of the season is this weekend

Blobby Bish: Four days

Blobby Bish: Were gonna WIN

Arson pog: yeah we are! 

Under da sea: Go Purple Witches!

Queer King: Who needs a ride to the game? speak now or forever hold your peace

Goopy boi: i'm going with wilby :)

Queer King: In who’s car?

Loud but harmless: ;) <3

Queer King: Wilby please do not scratch my car

Loud but harmless: :3 <3

Goopy boi: don’t worry he didn’t last time

Gooby boi: not even when he had to take off the license plate when we ran from the police

Queer King is typing...

Loud but harmless has deleted 2 messages

Queer King: He did what.

Silent but deadly: wait Wilbur I thought you said she let us borrow it

Queer King: I let you what.

Loud but harmless: Eret. My beloved. The platonic love of my life. Apple of my eye. 

Queer King: Wilbur open the door.

Loud but harmless is typing…

Queer King: Wilbur I am getting Drista to open your door.

chaos: give me 64 green blue sour gummy worms and i will

Loud but harmless: Drista I will double your price

chaos is typing...

Queer King: I will keep your price and throw in three packs of mini pretzel m&m’s

Loud but harmless: Double the original price and five king sized kit kat bars

chaos is typing…

Silent but deadly: I will let you hang out in my room if you give me the keys to Dream’s room

Blobby Bish: WHY

Blobby Bish: YOU CAN JUST ASK ME

Silent but deadly: My reasons are beyond your understanding

chaos: Can I also sit next to you in the car and in the game

The Onceler: Wait what

The Onceler: No Drista it’s my turn

The Onceler: i’m not sitting next to Wilbur again

Loud but harmless: :”[

Babysitter Rose: What did I say about using Drista for ulterior motives

Several people are typing…

Silent but deadly: In my defense

Babysitter Rose: Yes?

Silent but deadly: I have reasons

Babysitter Rose: …Yes??

Silent but deadly: Thats all i just have reasons

Blobby Bish: Reasons why you can’t just ask me????

Blobby Bish: @Silent but deadly

Silent but deadly is offline

Queer King: Wilbur i looked at my car and decided you can use it again

Queer King: Just please let me know when you take it

Loud but harmless: :) <3

chaos: does that mean i'm not geting paid

The Onceler: L

chaos: >:/

Techno -> Drista 

Techno: Offer still stands

Drista: keys located

Drista: I will retrieve them for you

Chapter Text

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

Queer King: William Soot Minecraft Death III

Loud but harmless: That’s-

Loud but harmless: That’s not my name

Queer King: Irrevelant 

Queer King: Just like how you’ll be if I can’t find my fuzzy dice

Loud but harmless: ?????

Loud but harmless: What fuzzy dice

Queer King: The one I hang in my car W i l l i a m

Loud but harmless: I don’t have it I swear

Queer King: If you don’t who does

Loud but harmless: I dont know it was there when i parked

Queer King: I swear to death who ever stole my fuzzy dice

Goopy boi: I think I have it sorry

Queer King: It’s okay Charlie I forgive you <333

Loud but harmless: The betrayal!!! D:

Silent but deadly: Are we doing another Miette kinnie arc?

lemme sleep: Thats just how Wilbur is

lemme sleep: Now listen to my user and quit blowing up my phone

Blobby Bish: just mute yourself George

Tik Tok goes the clock: has any1 s33n my hat D:

lemme sleep: which one

Tik Tok goes the clock: mascot hat

Tik Tok goes the clock: don't tell m3 u forgot about the gam3!!

lemme sleep: is that today

Queer King: Literally where were you all week

lemme sleep: …

lemme sleep: Username

Queer King: Right

Arson pog: I have your hat karl!! You said i should hold it for you!

Tik Tok goes the clock: 1 guess 1 forgot aga1n sorry

Arson pog: don't apologize for things you can’t control

Blobby Bish: @Silent but deadly 

Silent but deadly: Yes

Blobby Bish: Why is my door locked

Silent but deadly: Chances are someone locked your door

Blobby Bish: okay 

Blobby Bish: Second question. Why are you in my room?

Silent but deadly: Can you prove I’m in your room

Blobby Bish: Yes

Silent but deadly: Well good for you I guess

Blobby Bish: Techno

Silent but deadly: :)

Blobby Bish: Techno pls I have a game 

Blobby Bish: I need my stuff for Friday Techno

Silent but deadly: You’ll have your stuff

Silent but deadly: Just not your room

Arson pog: ha L

Blobby Bish: Can you at least give me a hint as to what yo’re doing???

Blobby Bish: @Silent but deadly

Silent but deadly is offline

Blobby Bish: I hate when they do that

Loud but harmless: We’re using it pronouns only today :D

Blobby Bish: Ah ok!

Blobby Bish: I hate when it does that

Supernaturals inc.

Mama Death: @Loud but harmless @the little mermaid Are you two still out in town?

Loud but harmless: We’re heading home, actually!

Loud but harmless: Stopped by Love and Icecream with some new friends 

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: Wilbur has friends?

Loud but harmless: oh fuck off child

The muffin man: Language

The Onceler: anyone who is willingly friends with Wilbur cannot be trusted

the little mermaid: They’re my new friends, too

bee boi: btu that acklually makes sense

The Onceler: Yeah Niki you’re actually likeable

Loud but harmless: Are you saying you don’t think I’m likeable boob boy >:/

Loud but harmless: I’ll have you know I am plenty likeable and a delight to be around

the little mermaid: theyre also a lesbian couple

chaos: new friends accepted

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: That redeems them from benig wilbys friends

Loud but harmless: Did you just call me wilby?

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS: ANYWAY MVING ON

TAVIA NOW YOU FUCKS has changed their name to TAVIA

TAVIA: Anyway lesbiansn you say @the little mermaid

the little mermaid: Yeah, one of them is on my swim team

the little mermaid: Their names are Sally and Friend, they’re exchange students at our school

bee boi: u hav a friend named friend???

the little mermaid: yes, her name is Friend, don’t be mean

bee boi: I will bully your friend

The Onceler: I cannot believe you turned on autocorrect to say that

Bee boi: wut do u meen?

Mama Death: I believe Wilbur is likeable! Tell us about your friends dear!

Loud but harmless: Sally and Friend! Sally is in theatre class with Niki and I and on Nikis swim team

Loud but harmless: her girlfriend was spectating at swim practice and they joined us in getting ice cream after practive and theyre actually really cool

Loud but harmless: Both of them have nice neos too

Silent but deadly: oh neopronouns???

Loud but harmless: calm down genderman

Silent but deadly: Wait is this Friend from creative writing? Uses she/soft/spring/summer/autumn/winter/milk/squeak?

Loud but harmless: How do you remember all that?

Silent but deadly: Pronouns, Wilbur.

Loud but harmless: Terrifying, alright

the little mermaid: Yes! She does use those pronouns!

Silent but deadly: Yeah I know soft

Loud but harmless: yeah no shit

Silent but deadly: :(

Loud but harmless: Wait Techno I’m sorry

3 people are typing...

The Onceler: That was mean William

chaos: That was mean William

Blobby Bish: That was mean William

Loud but harmless: HOLY SHIT

TAVIA: L

Not a furry: L

bee boi: L

Mama Death: L

Loud but harmless: MUM

Mama Death: You did it to yourself 

Loud but harmless: Techno calm your fanclub

Silent but deadly: My feelings genuinely hurt Wilbur. I want a two page apology letter. And three packs of truffles. 

Loud but harmless: Get your own candy

Silent but deadly: :”(

3 people are typing… 

Loud but harmless: Wait I’ll get you your shit call off the goons!!!

Silent but deadly: I want 4 packs of truffles now

Loud but harmless: deal

Silent but deadly: :D

Blobby Bish: :)

chaos: :)

The Onceler: (:

chaos: why do u have to ruin everything boob boy

The Onceler: Oh fuck off

chaos: square up

The muffin man: Language

Mama Death: fuck

The muffin man: … language

Mama Death: Funny as this may be I’m glad you two made friends

the little mermaid: Thank you Mumza

Loud but harmless: Thanks Mumza at least someone believes in my capability to make friends

Chapter Text

Supernaturals inc .

Captain Kraken: imagine being a simp

Mad Eye Moony: shut up shut up shut up shut up

TAVIA: L

Captain Kraken sent 3 image

Captain Kraken: Picture of Sam smiling at his phone is his workspace. His welding mask sits on the table next to him with a bunch of scattered tools. He seems to be blushing at whatever he’s looking at

Captain Kraken: Picture of Sam holding the phone up to his ear,. The caller id obscured by his head. He is laughing 

Captain Kraken: Picture of Sam looking straight at the camera flustered and surprised. His phone still in his hand.

skeepy: gay

Mad Eye Moony: PUFFY

Under da sea: Is it that time already?

Goopy boi: What time?

Under da sea: Oh yeah you haven’t met Sam’s partner yet

Goopy boi: do they not live here?

Mad Eye Moony: Ponk lives here it’s just that they go on trips every once in a while to handle human relations

Goopy boi: Is your partner human or human passing?

Mad Eye Moony: Ponk is fully human but also kinda not?

Mad Eye Moony: I’ll let her explain it to you

TAVIA: Yeah Charlie Ponk is great!! Thts why Sam is such a FUCKING SIMP

The muffin man: Language Tavia

The muffin man: Also I hope Ponk brings back more lemons

The muffin man: It’s been a while since we’ve had lemon muffins

the little mermaid: can we also make lemon squares

the little mermaid: Edward gave me a new recipe for them that I really wanna try out!

The muffin man: ofc :D

The muffin man: We’ll make a day out of it!!

the little mermaid: Whoo :D

Space boi: Not that I care like too much or anything but what are the specifics of Ponk’s arrival?

TAVIA: you mean you just wanna kno wwhen Ponk comes back bcuz you miss him?

Space boi: I’d never phrase it like that

Space boi: But yes

the little mermaid: Aww

The muffin man: Aww

Captain Kraken: Aww

Mad Eye Moony: So when Purpled misses Ponk it farms awws in the chat but when I do it I’m a simp

The muffin man: Yes <3

Loud but harmless: Now he gets it!

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

TAVIA: get on my level bitches

Tavia sent 2 images

The images appear to be of hands with Halloween colored nails. However… both are extremely out of focus.

The Onceler: Did you take these photos with your teeth why are your pics so blurry

TAVIA: FOR YOUR INFORMATION BOOB BOY

TAVIA: my nails are still kinda wet

Loud but harmless: Wow that photo is so pixelated it’s like a minecraft jigsaw puzzle

TAVIA: BITCH

Silent but deadly: If I had a dollar for every pixel in those two images combined I could probably afford two iced mocha whipped coffees with powdered sugar and a croissant for Dream

Blobby Bish: <3

TAVIA: DO NOT ‘<3’ THEM 

TAVIA: THIS IS BULLYING

bee boi sent 2 images

bee boi: Photos of two hands with 5 different Halloween patterns on it. The thumbs have a black background with a silver spider web. The index fingers have a single black cat on them. The middle fingers are different with one having a jack-o-lantern and the other having a ghost on the left and right hand respectively. On the ring finger a starry night decorates them both. Lastly the pinkies share a bat wing design on them each.  

bee boi: ur welcom

Silent but deadly: Oh those actually look really nice

Loud but harmless: ^^^^

TAVIA: while I do not appreciate ur previous bullying

TAVIA: of my FRANKLY AMAZING PHOTOGRAPHY SKILLS

TAVIA: i accept your compliments. They took a really long time

Loud but harmless: woah you did them yourself?

Queer King: Okay was no one going to tell me that Tavia is a goddess at fingernail painting

Queer King: Or was I supposed to play the unscramble the image game first

TAVIA: fuck you 

Queer King: All jokes aside Tavia you’re really good at that!

TAVIA: ty

Queer King: Do you think you could paint my nails for the game tomorrow?

the little mermaid: oh mine too :0 ?

lemme sleep: I will pay you in monetary value

Arson pog: He woke up for this so you know he’s serious

TAVIA: I-

Tavia -> Tubbo

Tavia: 3ertyunidsjidsijidsvsdijd

Tubbo: u ok?

Tavia: yeah i'm fine /gen

Tubbo: <3

Tavia: <3

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

TAVIA: I accept both monetary and candy values

Loud but harmless: My little sister, a business woman

Loud but harmless: They grow up so fast

Silent but deadly: Call me up if you need a manager

The Onceler: Call me up if you need a bodyguard when you become rich and famous

TAVIA: i'll call Tubbo for that

bee boi: :)

The Onceler: Call me up if you need a pretty and useless secretary to book your appointments and answer your calls

TAVIA: ofc

TAVIA: no wait Wilbur

The Onceler: FINE

The Onceler: Call me when you're past the height of your career and you need a scandal of an estranged sibling so you can revive your career and you become a new old household name

TAVIA: Yeah I can do that

Space boi: Call me never

Space boi: Please lose my contact

TAVIA: but then who would be my trophy husband

Space boi: Tavia you’re a lesbian?

TAVIA: that i am

Chapter Text

Supernaturals inc.

The muffin man: Update on Sam

The muffin man: He’s vibrating 

Under da sea!: can comfirm

Under da sea: i had to take away the drill for him this morning cuz his hands were shaking too much

TAVIA: ponk better get here soon

TAVIA: father figure go brrrrrrrr

TAVIA: wait no one cip that

Space boi: Too late I took a screenshot

TAVIA: Betrayed by my own trophy husband D:

Space boi: I swear to death

Mama Death: Ayo

TAVIA: purpled hush accept your destiny

TAVIA: i'll provide for you 

TAVIA: all you gotta do is sit there look pretty

Silent but deadly: Mumza get your daughter

Silent but deadly: She’s mapped out Purpled’s entire future

TAVIA: not the entire thing

TAVIA: i havent gotten to the scandal and divorce yet

Space boi: do i get a say in this?

TAVIA: No <3

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

bee boi:  hello everyone

bee boi: i have news

Space boi: Woah he turned on autocorrect

Not A Furry: this must be important then

bee boi: fuck you both imparticular

Not A Furry: uh oh the big words are out

bee boi: I refuse to associate in a battle of the wits with someone who has a had crush on [REDACTED]

Not A Furry: >:/

Not A Furry: I told you that in confidence

bee boi: and i'll expose your ass in confidence if you don’t shut up

Loud but harmless; Wait can we know who redacted is??????

Not a Furry: Absolutely not

bee boi: sorry wilbur you heard him

Loud but harmless: i cannot believe my son is at the stage where hes keeping secrets from me

Silent but deadly: You can’t?

bee boi: TECHNO

bee boi: you guys almost made me forget what i was gonna say

Space boi: the news you turned on autocorrect for

bee boi: yes

bee boi: Did you guys know

Silent but deadly: wait I think i know what he’s about to say

Silent but deadly: Tubbo no

bee boi: sorry boss man it must be done

Silent but deadly: Tubbo I respect you

Silent but deadly: We are friends

Silent but deadly: Comrades even

Silent but deadly: Bros

bee boi: we can still be pals<3 

TAVIA: i don't like when tubbo can spell

TAVIA: turn off your autocorrect king

TAVIA: the balance is off

bee boi: hey none of you are allowed to use the balance against me

bee boi: anyways tech you can’t distract me not even by paying off tavia

Silent but deadly: I would never

Silent but deadly: I am a fair and honest fae with only the upright intentions

bee boi: you're trying to derail this conversation so i don't expose the fact that you can't read google maps

Silent but deadly: TUBBO YOU’VE DOOMED ME

Loud but harmless: :o

Loud but harmless: So much for fae gps

chaos: why am i hearing techno slander????

Blobby bish: ^

The Onceler: ^^

Silent but deadly: I need a more efficient fan club smh

Silent but deadly: It’s too late now

Silent but deadly: Look I can explain?

bee boi: explain why you didn’t understand that the arrow is supposed to point you along the direction of the path you’re supposed to go

Silent but deadly: LOOK

Silent but deadly: I THOUGHT IT WAS FOR SHOW

TAVIA: techno’s yelling over text

TAVIA: i'm sensing a story

bee boi: gotta make this quick i can sense drista and ranboob coming after me

bee boi: so me and techno are walking back from the town chess club at the public  library right?

Loud but harmless: there’s a chess club at the public library???

Not A Furry: you guys play chess???

TAVIA: there’s a library????

bee boi: yes now be quiet i'm trying to tell my story

bee boi: we’re walking back from our first meeting

bee boi: and techno notice that the time on the map is going up instead of down

bee boi: and this asshole turns to me and says

bee boi: “i think i might be reading this wrong”

bee boi: and we are walking AWAY from the arrow

bee boi: our 10 minute walk is now a 30 minute one and we can’t even use our powers because of how close we are to the human town

bee boi: anyways i'll end it there because i am 9heghbfrjh jbkjbhvxe

bee boi: got him boss -Drista

Blobby Bish: Too late the damage has been done

Blobby Bish: he’s now whining about his lost clout and betrayal

Blobby Bish: “This is my villain arc origin. Exposed by a goat that likes bees and only eats yellow m&ms.” -Techno

Loud but harmless: Okay but totally deserved

TAVIA: can't believe i was made fun of for not knowing east and west when they can't even follow an arrow

Silent but deadly: I will never recover from this ever

bee boi: im finelyl free

Not A Fury: and off the autocorrect again i see

bee boi: dw tech were stil best buds

Silent but deadly: Hm what did you say Brutus?

Supernaturals inc.

Lemon Boy: Hello everyone!

Lemon Boy: Guess who’s back

Several People are Typing…

Chapter Text

Supernaturals inc.

Lemon Boy: Hello everyone!

Lemon Boy: Guess who’s back

Several People are Typing…

Mad Eye Moony: PONK!!

Space boi: PONK

TAVIA: PONK

Captain Kraken: i swear ive never seen sam pick up anything that fast like he picked up his phone

Captain Kraken: Welcome back Ponk!

Mama Death: Ponk!

Under da sea!: Ponk!!!

Not A Furry: Puffy is just out here exposing sam 

Captain Kraken: Payback for every time he teased me about Minx

The muffin man: it’s been a while where is Minx anyway

The muffin man: Glad you’re back Ponk

Sans the skeleton: Oh

Sans the skeleton: Ponk is back?

Lemon Boy: Well not yet

Lemon Boy: But i can finally use my phone more often now

Lemon Boy: All the work had me too tired by the end of the day

Lemon Boy: I should be back by the end of the week though :D

Sans the skeleton: Interesting enough I'll be home by then

Space boi: Really?

Sans the skeleton: Yeah :)

Sans the skeleton: Excited kit?

Space boi is typing…

Space boi: No comment 

gremlins + Hannah & ExDee

Queer King: GAME DAY IS TOMORROW 

Queer King: LAST CHANCE FOR ANY EMERGENCY PREPARATIONS

the little mermaid: I'm good 

the little mermaid: I have all my cheer stuff in my locker at school

Under da sea!: i also have all my cheer things in nikis locker :)

Tik tok goes the clock: has anyone seen the mascot head?

Tik tok goes the clock: shaped like a stereotypical witch mostly gree

chaos: is that wat that was

chaos: its in my hoard

chaos: i was keeping marshmallows in it

Tik Tok goes the clock: Well at least it'll smell good :]

rubber duck: i was summoned?

rubber duck: anyways i don't need a ride. i'm staying after school anyway

The Onceler: Question if I go do i actually have to sit next to Wilbur?

The Onceler: No offense but I always end up with sand somewhere on me

Loud but harmless: You say that like it's a bad thing

The Onceler: Full offense not all of like the taste of sand 

Loud but harmless: >:0

Silent but deadly: Ill let both you and Drista sit with me on a few conditions

Silent but deadly: 1 no fighting

Silent but deadly: 2 we cheer on Dream and Sapnap

chaos: but what if i dont want to cheer on dream

Silent but deadly: Then dont talk to me

chaos: cheering on dream

Silent but deadly: Good

The Onceler: I understand Dream but why sadnap

Arson pog: *Sapnap

The Onceler: Don't correct me i said what I meant

Silent but deadly: 3 you let me step away when i need

chaos: Ofc!! let us know your boundaries whebever

The Onceler: ^^^^

The Onceler: *whenever 

chaos is typing….

TAVIA: resist the urge 

TAVIA: live a happy healthier life

Loud but harmless: okay who took Tavia’s phone

bee boi: can compfrim its actaly Tavia

Space boi: Apparently she has "matured beyond her years and has mastered the art of meditation"

Loud but harmless: call cap

TAVIA: maybe another time I would have raged

TAVIA: but i have grown 

TAVIA: and I know that anger solves nothing 

TAVIA: nothing you can do to make me revert back to my old self 

Loud but harmless: sure thing, child

TAVIA: FUCK OFF

TAVIA: FUCKING SUSHI LOOKING ASS

TAVIA: OH LOOK I'M DICKHEAD WILBUR WITH MY OFF BRAND LUCA ORIGIN

TAVIA: I QUOTE SHAKESPEARE AND HEATHERS IN THE SAME SENTENCE AND I'M A LIVING BREATHING HAMILTON REFERENCE 

bee boi: 10 minutes 

Space boi: I'm impressed 

Space boi: Lasted longer than I thought it would 

The Onceler: Hey new record 

Not a furry: Eret can I get a ride?

Queer King: Yeah you can ride with me

Not a furry: ty<3

Loud but harmless: Wait but are we ever gonna talk about redacted?

Not a furry: It's in the past

bee boi: if u call 2 weeks ag o the pst then ig

Not a furry: Tubbo I stg

can't stop the grind: I want to go to the game :/

can't stop the grind: it wouldn't kill you to let me come

the little mermaid: no it would just kill you specifically 

the little mermaid: also how are we sure you won't eat someone again 

can't stop the grind: I told y'all it was just a little nibble!

can't stop the grind: Damn you bite the elderly once and suddenly you're a man eating monster 

Blobby Bish: Jack you are a literal vampire

Blobby Bish: man-eating monster is kind of in the description

can’t stop the grind: I see how it is :/

Supernatural inc.

Caw Caw Bish: Are we gonna gloss over the fact that Puffy never answered the Minx question?

Captain Kraken: Yes, absolutely. We will be doing that.

Mama Death: You guys have been keeping in touch?

Captain Kraken: You could say that

The muffin man: you could also a lot of other things about them :3

Captain Kraken: Badddd

Lemon Boy: Bad has tea??? :O

Lemon Boy: Bad spill

Mad Eye Moony: Do it

Mad Eye Moony: Karma for teasing me

Under da sea: To be completely fair Sam

Under da sea: It wasn’t necessarily teasing as it was calling out simp behavior

Lemon Boy: Gold’s gotcha there

Mad Eye Moony: Betrayed TWICE

Mad Eye Moony: how can i show my face in public again

Lemon Boy: Oh please don’t hide your face I’ll miss it

skeepy: ew

TAVIA: NO

TAVIA: NO FLIRTING

Captain Kraken: Theyre BOTH simps

The muffin man: They were made for each other <3