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Chapter Text

Once long ago in a far off land called Peru there was a young Incan prince named Craigory. Prince Craigory, although not vain, was quite indifferent to those around him. He was more concerned about his pursuit of the stars, and the legends that surrounded them. He would spend most days pouring over ancient prophecies and old children’s fables and his evenings studying the night sky. Often ignoring his royal duties and all the people around him. He cared only for his guinea pigs: Pirate stripe, stripe 1, and stripe 2.

During this time a great drought had fallen upon the land- the king and queen and the lovely princess Tricia did their best to provide for their kingdom. One bleak winter's day word came in that a local family had become trapped in the mountain side well trying to collect berries., and so the the King and the Queen had left on a long aronous journey to help the family, meanwhile the princess Tricia was sent off to a neighbouring village to be courted for marriage.

Prince Craigory being so wrapped in his heavenly pursuits was not even aware of his family’s travels.

He was in the middle of scribing poetry about the moon's brilliant glow and how it glistened even in the early hours of twilight when three loud bangs echoed through the halls of his castle, naturally not giving a fuck about anything or anyone Prince Craigory ignored the intrusions.

After some time the knocks came again and once again - with nothing more than a middle finger flashed in the direction of the front door- Craigory paid it no mind.

Finally after a third set of knocking, Craigory’s annoyance grew too great and so he went to the front of the house to dismiss whoever had dared to annoy him. Upon opening the door he was confronted with the image of an overweight teenage boy. A boy who had rosy chubby cheeks and was smiling at him. The boy held out one of his plump hands in the tell tale sign of begging.. “Please kind prince, can you spare even just a slice of bread?”The beggar asked.

Craigory looked at him with disgust and then flipped him off, before turning on his heel allowing the door to slam in the ugly boy’s face. It wasn’t so much that the boy was a beggar but the fact that he was a son of a whore, and was known around town to be a nasty sort. The likes of which were not worth Craig’s time- especially since he had just found the ‘lost’ fable of the fallen star.

Even before Craig could start walking back towards his collections and stare up at the sky with his telescope the door flung open and the wizard boy stepped inside.

The audacity of such a filthy disgusting peasant, Craigory thought to himself as the boy took a step towards him.

The boy points a round doughy finger in Craig’s direction, and then in an authoritarian voice proclaims “Craigory Tucker I asked you for a measure of kindness, a simple act that would have not cost you anything more than two minutes of your time and a single slice of bread.”

Craigory rolls his eyes and turns away from the pathetic kid.

“You will not disrespect me a second longer,” the boy's voice grows in volume until it's echoing all around Craig. It's as if the other boy had somehow protected his voice into waves that were not thundering down all around the prince.

Craig turns and looks at the other, standing before him where the beggar boy used to be is a great wizard.

“I am the great and fabulous wizard Carman and I have come to test you, “ Cartman announces..

“And I care because?”

Cartman, the great, glares at Craig for that, “ you have failed my test,” he informs the prince. “I will give you one last chance to redeem yourself.”

Craig being a spoiled young prince, and indifferent to the plights of those around them, had not bothered to listen to the rumors surrounding the evil wizard Cartman. Perhaps if he had he would have handled the entire situation differently, but unfortunately for Craig, he just couldn’t be bothered to care.

“Get the fuck out of my house.”

The wizard frown turns into a greedy little smile, “Wrong answer,” and the manic laughter falls all around Craigory.

The wizard pulls a wand from within the compartments of his cloak and points it at the prince, “good night sweet prince,” more of that crazy laughter and then sparks are flying from the core of the wand.

The wizard then turns and walks away, he gets to the door, opens it with a flick of his wand, and then before leaving turns and looks at the prince he had just cast his spell on.

Craig had been transformed into a cat. The fluffy grey-blue cat stares back at Cartman with golden eyes.

The wizard looks down at the creature with a frown on his face, “ I really need to get this wand fixed.” He sighs, “ a guinea pig was what I attended but a cat could work as well.” He strokes his chin in the tell tale way that villains do and taps his wand against the palace floor. “Oh I almost forgot,” he smiles brightly at the Craig cat. His smile is too wide and all teeth.

His wand lets out a few more sparks and then a cat nip shaped mouse falls from the tip of it. “ on your twenty first birthday,” a smug look replaces his demented smile, “ this cat nip will lose its potency and if that happens before you can find true loves kiss well, “ a shrug,” you will be stuck as a cat forever. “ a sarcastic laugh, “ that would really be a shame.

Then with a final flick of his wrist the entire place is engulfed in brilliant sparks, which honestly resemble fireworks.

Three little kittens start meowing at Neko Craig’s feet. The royal feline turns his golden eyes onto his guinea pigs turned kittens.

A slight scream draws his attention before he can even begin to fathom why his adorable pets had been turned into pesky cats.

Standing before a broomstick in her hand, is one of the maids. He never bothered to learn her name, anyways, she is staring at him, fear evident in her eyes- for she has been turned into a mouse.

Great, just Fucking Great. The royal spoiled kitten thinks to himself as he rounds up the guinea-kittens before they try to eat the maid for dinner. .

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The years pass in a dazzling display of loneliness with only the guinea kittens, maid mice, squirrel cook and other woodland creatures for company. The prince's family had never returned rumour had it-If the mice could be trusted- that the wizards spell had made the castle unseekable. It was after all the best way to prevent anyone from finding the prince and breaking the spell.

Craig had given up staring at the moon a long time ago, and now spent his time laying in front of the catnip mouse. His nose twitching as the delicious aroma of catnip permeated his senses. He had half the mind to gnaw on the dreadful thing, but the thing is, he did not wish to be a cat forever, and so instead he guarded the object like it was a long lost treasure.

He had little faith that the spell the evil, disgusting, immoral wizard Cartman had unjustly cast on him would ever be broken for he was never one for love or other mushy notions. Yet, deep within the pits of his furry body the ideas of fate, amour, and other such emotions were appealing to him. And so his obsession with the night sky, turned to protecting the object and caring for the other occupants in the castle.

As yet another day sunk beneath the rising moon the Guinea kittens curled themselves around our beloved prince cat awaiting their nightly bedtime story. Craigory fondly starts to retell a particular favourite fable. Its about a lonely prince who wishes on a fallen star for a princess (though Craig changes it to prince.). Suddenly the prince appears in the moonlight and makes all the lonely princes’ dreams come true. The Guinea kittens loved this particular story as it reminded them of their sad state of affairs, and they knew that it gave their master hope. Craig may not do emotions but it didn’t hurt to dream. So that is how Craig, despite his loneliness, and indifference to such silly feelings, found himself spending his days sprayed out before the catnip mouse and retelling old moon fables.

What Craig didn’t know was that sometimes fables held just a touch of magic of their own. For you see, what the evil wizard Cartman never took into account when he cursed our heroic yet misguided prince was the existence of other magically gifted creatures . At this very moment as Craig re-tells the same fable he has told a thousand times before, fate decided to take pity on the cat -boy and send the one of these creatures his way.

Wandering through the forests just on the outskirts of the kingdom of Peru, looking for special herbs for his potions is a witch. Tweek Is a good witch. He uses his powers to help injured animals, and to make medicine for sick towns folks. Technically he is a wizard but he does not like the wizard moniker because of the evil doings of a certain dark wizard who like to go around cursing princes. So Witch Tweek, who is is kind of like more of a healer in a way, is stumbled through the forest exchanging pleasantries with the forest sprites when out of no where a young girl appeared, and this is how Tweek Tweak the witch , had found the charming but down on her luck former Princess Tricia.

Tricia had been tricked into marrying the self appointed Wizard king, a man so cruel in his displays of power- that he had once turned her into a frog for an entire month because she had burnt his dinner.

She had managed to escape after that incident and had sought out the good witch Tweek in the hopes he could make her a glamour spell.

It was after the glamor had taken effect and her red hair had turned ebony that she had told him that she was the lost princess of the Incan people. Tweek then told her of the stories that he had heard. The fables that had spoken of a bratty prince who was locked away in a forgotten castle.

Tricia had only been half joking when she told Tweek that the stories of the prince had reminded of her brother, and so the two had gone off with nothing but Tweek’s portions in search of this very castle.

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Deep in the forest on the outskirts of the very village of Peru that the Cat Prince and the Guinea kittens now slept curled in front of the enchanted catnip mouse trekked the fair Princess and her witch companion.

Through out most of the night, Tricia and Tweek moved slowly through the forest. The vast immense canopy of the woods evergreens cloaked their every move from watchful wizard eyes. Guided only by moonlight, and with the occasional help of the nocturnal non cursed woodland creatures they came safely to a stream.

Tweek held up his hand indicating that they should stop. He walked around the small area pointing his index finger in the air. He did this a total of three times before stopping ,and reaching into the confines of his emerald green cloak pulling out a wooden wand. The wand was the colour of espresso which Tweek had eagerly told Tricia upon their first meeting was his favourite human beverage. Anyways, the witch walked around the area near the stream three more times, and then he stopped abruptly in front of the stream. The water in the the stream moved more like a river the currents were swift and rapid. Tricia shivered to herself slightly hoping the witch would not demand they cross such waters in the dead of night.

Instead of uttering such an impossible task Tweek simply nodded his head, and then did the most particular thing. He stuck the tip of his sceptre into the bubbling waters of the stream. Tweek then closed his eyes and sang softly softly to himself, The words he chanted were foreign. Tricia had heard from the mystical animals excited whispers that they were remnants of a lost language. Do not ask how she understood said creatures, as Tricia did not understand it herself. She suspected Tweek had cast some kind of communication spell, or maybe it was just weird fairy tale magic, anything was possible after all she herself had been a frog girl for a month.

Although the sight of the witch singing to himself as he appeared to stir the swirling waters, almost as if he was making soup, was odd, and very unusual it did not perplex the princess. As it was something the witch had done various times through their nightly hikes, and besides being his loyal companion over the past few weeks Tricia had grown quite fond of the witch and all his oddities.

Satisfied with whatever it was he was looking for Tweek removed his staff from the stream and stepped back. He turned to Tricia and smiled. “ we camp here,” he said in all too cheery voice.

Immediately, not waiting for her response, or even caring for that matter, he begins to point his wand around their ‘campsite’. Two makeshift tents appeared each outfitted with a small cot, blankets and other luxury camping items.

Just to the side of the stream a camp fire comes to life. Its sparks of warmth cause Tricia to realize that she was cold. Thankful that her travel campaign had such plentiful magical abilities Tricia sat on a log stump just in front of the fire and holds her hands outwards warming them.

Tweek shoots a dazzling smile in her direction causing the girl to swoon slightly. It also helped She thought to herself that her travelling companion was so handsome.

Tweek ignored the sickeningly sweet look the girl was giving him and went about setting a glamour to protect them for the rest of the night. He would have to have a chat with the princess sooner then later, but for the moment, finding the castle and rescuing a hopefully good hearted if not a bit bratty dashing prince from the warlocks spell was top priority. Not only because that is what Tweek had dedicated his magical life to doing, helping others, but also because the whole thing reminded him of his favourite fable.

As Tweek walked around the permitter of their camp he thought of that very fable ( the same fable that Craig liked to tell the Guinea kittens and other cursed creatures). His mother, a good witch who had denounced the temptations of magic for the simplicity of a coffee hut in the heart of a neighbouring village had often told it to him when Tweek was just a wizard in training. The tale told of star crossed lovers, a human prince cursed by a evil wizard, and a fallen star made human who had loved him. All his days Tweek had dedicated his life to doing good in order to some how make that fairy tale a reality. Its true he was no fallen star, but surely there was a prince out there somewhere. It didn’t even have to be a prince , Tweek mused to himself, he just wanted to meet a nice boy to settle down with. Tweek sighed dreamily as he cast the last of his glamour and sat next to Tricia in front of the fire.

“Do you think you can conjure up some food?” The princess asked.

With a sheepish grin Tweek flicked his wand, “sorry about that, “ he said before producing a bit of a feast. Fresh warm bread, various nut-free spreads ( for he wanted to save the nuts for the animals), berries, jams, and some freshly caught fish. He positioned the fish on skewers over the fire. “ i hope you don’t mind fish, I don’t eat other meat. “ he explained as a few of the night creatures joined them. One in particular a little golden squirrel appeared to be more disheveled then the rest. Tweek passed a extra piece of bread over to Tricia upon seeing the creature.

Tricia tore of a piece of the bread and passed it to the squirrel. The squirrel took the bread from Tricia’s hands, looked up at her, its cute little nose twitching and then in a calm voice inquired , “ do you perhaps have any raspberry jam?”

She stared at the creature in amazement, it wasn’t so much that the creature looked at the bread and softly said, “thank you, “ before inquiring for the jam, nor was it the fact that it was super cute, but there was something familiar about it. She couldn’t quite figure out what?.

Tweek laughed at her reaction before turning and addressing the squirrel.

“You aren’t from these woods, are you?

The squirrel shook its head, and turned its violet eyes onto the Witch. “ There were rumours even within the walls of the castle that the princess walks the nights with a witch in search for her family. “ he turned his head, whiskers twitching as he studied Tricia. “ if it weren’t for your hair being so dark.. I would swear..”

“Clyde?” Tricia asked staring at the creature in amazement?

The squirrel nodded. Clyde was a stable boy, his father a local merchant had unfortunately perished along side Clyde’s mother in a horrific freak accident involving a exploding sewer line when he was just a child. The Tuckers being fair and kind of rulers, had invited the boy to stay with them and work in the stables. When Craig wasn’t being an indifferent brat with his eyes glued to the heavens, he would often play with Clyde. Clyde of course had announced himself to be Craig best friend, even if the bratty prince was mostly indifferent to the boy.

“Is it really you,? Clyde the squirrel asked as he attempted to curtesy in front of the princess. “My fair and lovely Princess Tricia?” He attempted to take her hand in his paws and pressed his lips to her finger tips.

Tricia smiled at Clyde, “ there is no need for that, silly, you are family. “ her smile faded and darkness clouded over her once bright and shining eyes, “ my brother?”

The squirrel’s mood grew somber, “ he is alive, but... “

Tweek passed the squirrel over a piece of bread and jam, “ Clyde is it? “

Clyde nodded as he nibbled away at the bread and jam.

“Tell me just how much of the story is real? Tell me about the prince.”

Tricia was too wrapped up in the astonishing fact that not only had a member of the royal family escaped the cursed castle but that he was a cute little squirrel too notice the dreamy look enter Tweek’s eyes when he asked about her brother.

The look however did not go unnoticed by Clyde, and hope began to bloom in the depth of his heart. Perhaps, just perhaps, this boy would be the one to break the curse.

Clyde did a little dance around the camp fire, still munching on the bread and jam. His excitement was contagious and caused several of the other normal woodland creatures to join him. He stopped dancing after a moment and then sat down in front of the witch. “The prince is a kind hearted boy, but he also.. “ he paused licking his fingers clean of the jam...

“My brother is a fuck face and an idiot “ Tricia offered.

“He can be quite stubborn, “ Clyde agreed. “ but he is a good person just he gets lost in himself.”

“How so,” Tweek asked more careful not to show just how curious he was about the prince.

The squirrel hesitated, lost in thought, “ Craig, is very logical and yet he is a dreamer. “ quickly as if he suddenly remembered his place Clyde turned and looked at Tricia, “ I do not mean no disrespect..”

Tricia waved away his misgivings, “ you only speak the truth. My brother is too afraid of feeling anything but bordeom so he wastes his time staring at the sky, occasionally allowing Clyde here, “ she pointed at the furry critter, “ to entertain him, before returning to his obsession with the stars. “

Clyde nods, “ That is why we were all cursed , “ he taps his furry little paw on his cheek. “Craig was lost in his star gazing and did not appreciate the great and power and amazingly cruel but just and his true highness Cartman the wizard. He did not offer the Great wizard king a moment of his time, and so fitting a punishment the castle was cursed. And...”

“You do know that fat ass can not hear you here, right?” Tricia informed Clyde.

The squirrel was shaking from even mentioning the self proclaimed wizard king, that he just stared at Tricia wide eyed and shook his head. “ you must not speak about The Great and mighty...”

“My glamours protect us from the evil warlocks eyes and ears, “ Tweek informed Clyde.

“Oh thank god, “ Clyde said now bowing to the witch. “ you have no idea how we have feared he would return and turn us into something even more horrible. Its hard enough to keep the guinea kittens from eating us, and Craig just sits and stares grumpily at the sacred catnip mouse..”

Tricia shook her head, “ the guinea whats? Catnip mouse?”

“Oh princess, my fair and beautiful princess, you do not know how hard it has been, “ and then without warning Clyde the squirrel burst into tears.

Tweek sighed warily, and then got up off of his stool. He flicked his wand and a small saucer of a mysterious liquid appeared, “ here, drink this, it will make you feel better, “ he implored handing the cup to Clyde.

Wiping at his eyes, Clyde accepted the cup and took a sip of the brew. “Coffee?” He inquired.

“My mothers special magical recipe, “ Tweek answered, “ now tell me little squirrel what happened. “

In a calm almost robotic voice Clyde filled Tweek in on the horrors that had become of them since Craig had turned the evil wizard Cartman away. “ and so you see unless someone can grow to love him, before his birthday,”

“Which is soon-ish, i think, “ Tricia interjected.

“Right, Prince Craig’s birthday is in a few weeks, and unless we can find someone whose heart is so pure they can even love someone as bratty and self absorbed as the prince we will be stuck like this forever..” and once again despite of the calming properties of the magical coffee Clyde burst into tears. Tricia moved from her seat and sat on the ground next to him, gently petting the top of his head.

“And what animal has the prince been turned into?” Tweek asked.

“ a cat, “ Clyde said miserably, “ Prince Craig is now a cat.

The smile from earlier that had made Tricia swoon was back but directed at Clyde, “good things witches like cats, “ Tweek said with a wink. “ you are welcome to rest up with us and then we will collect the rest of the berries we need in the morning for my special coffee brew.

Clyde looked up at Tricia, “ princess, “ he whispered, “ the witch really likes coffee.”

Tweek laughed at this, and offered his hand, “ My name is Tweek and the coffee is a special blend my dear mother taught me to make. It will allow those who drink it to see objects hidden by magic, ” he explained .

“In other words, “ Tricia stated, “ it will allow us to find the entrance to the castle. “

Clyde squirrel yawned, “ then we should get some rest, so we can find the castle before that horrible wizard learns of our plan. “

With a flick of his wand, the food( aside from a pile of nuts for the animals ) disappeared, the fire was put out, and a small little tent appeared right in between the other two.

“In the morning we will see about breaking this cures, and returning the princess to her home.”

“ and rescuing my dumb brother, “ Tricia chimed.

“In the morning, “ clyde agreed.

The three made there way to their tents unaware of the dangers that would greet them in the morning.

And not so far away, in the castle, a cat suddenly awoken by a strong sense of déjà vu stretched and then for the first time in the years since he was cursed. Craig walked through the hallways of the castle and to the rooms that were once his in another life. He scurries through the opened doorway and jumps up onto his unmade bed. There as he curls up onto a dusty comforter he can see the moon light’s glow fall across his wall. He stares at it , and wanders just when his star prince will arrive.