Work Text:
Erik sat quietly at the organ playing the same unfinished aria over and over again. He had a stubborn headache that wouldn't cease it's torture. This was a common occurrence for him, the painful migraines were due to his deformity. Constant stress as well as horrible memories that revealed themselves to him through the day or night affected him the most, they caused the most pain. He sighed frustrated, slamming his fingers onto the keys creating a loud booming sound that shook the room like lightning, he hid his face in his hands wanting the pain to go away. Praying in fact. To his dismay it only got worse and worse since he couldn't smother himself in Christine's embrace where he truly felt safe, but he didn't want to bother her by waking her up at 3 am, it wouldn't be fair. So he was stuck in this paradox. No matter what, nothing seemed to sooth this aching that felt like a continuous stabbing pain for the poor man. It became too much to bear. He began rubbing at his face like he was washing away dirt. As he rubbed and rubbed he felt his deformity, sneaking his fingers through every crack and crevices of the horrible taint that covered his face, that made him monstrous.
"How could Christine bare to look at such horribleness? Such filth."
Erik spat revolted, rocking back and forth on the bench. He wanted to look like him… just a little. The stupid Vicomte boy, who no matter how many words he used to describe and insult him he knew it was out of jealousy. The things he could never have that, that boy was blessed with, yes Erik has Christine but for how long? She will get bored sooner or later.
The tiny voice in his head sang sardonically laughing at him, tricking him to doubt her love. Erik's sobs that he tried so hard to conceal were beginning to come out at such an eventual forthright thought. It seemed eventual And forthright to him at least. He began clawing at his face as an alternative to the rubbing in hopes he could tear out this creature off his face, to shut up the voice who mocked him, who caused all this pain making him a shriveled up incomprehensible mess. An unlovable mess. He clawed till red marks could be made out even in the dimly lit room he sat in. Some skin was scratched off so hard it laid dead beneath his fingernails. And he kept going till he ran out of breath, his face collapsed onto the Organ ringing out another boom.
Erik hummed quietly missing his beautiful wife. He hummed a song he often heard her sing, a swedish lullaby her father would sing for her. She often sang it for him to ease his mind, or to fill silence.
"Erik?"
He must have been going crazy to hear her soft voice calling him. And yet through this silly delusion came a quick second of peace. No Arias crashing around in his mind, no intrusive thoughts of other men, no wretched deformities, just the sound of her voice calling his name.
He sighed, shaking his head knowing the lack of sleep was getting to him.
His attempt to regain truthfulness fell short when he felt a hand gently grasp his shoulder.
"Angel?"
Erik's hands slammed the keys as he sat up from his exhausted position from the piano now fully alert, his posture was as erect as a steel poll as he stared forward shocked to be caught off guard.
"I-i knocked Dear but I never got an answer…I was worried." Christine whispered as her hand left his shoulder traveling to his back where it laid gently. She rubbed the area trying to comfort him.
After a couple of seconds Erik released a small breath as he softly eased into her touch. He felt pathetic, how did he not not hear the knock? Or notice the small candle light the illuminated the room making it dimly lit as opposed to his horrible darkness.
"....I'm sorry. I was too loud." He was the first to break the silence as he bowed his head down looking at the piano keys guilty.
Christine shook her head.
"It was more the loss of warmth, I missed having my husband beside me." She declared taking a step closer, running her hand up the back of his neck gently playing with his thin strands of hair with her fingers relaxing him.
Erik sighed as he leaned his head back against her abdomen, taking what felt like his first breath of air since his headache. He turned in his seat burying his head into her stomach as he closed his eyes deeply inhaling her scent. It felt like he was wrapped in the smell of lavender forgetting every bad thing that's ever happened. He changed his seating, not having enough of this heavenly scent, he threw his legs over to the other side of the bench as he wrapped his arms tightly around her pulling her closer to stand between his open legs.
They stayed like that for a moment, Erik sat nestled in her embrace while she stood there stroking the top of his head lovingly.
"Why are you still awake?"
Erik pulled away a little bit keeping his arms around her, placing his chin on her stomach as he looked up through half shut lids.
"Headaches."
His voice came out horsed, pained.
Christine felt a pang of guilt spread through her, how did she not see this coming? She should've been there for him. She gave him a small sad smile collecting her thoughts.
"And what's causing these headaches?"
Erik avoided her eyes, looking away and burying his head against her again. He was trying to find peace in her scent but it seemed he couldn't runaway from her question, he felt like a child being asked his biggest fear.
"You know what causes them." He muffled out as he held her tighter scared she would disappear.
"I tried to play something but..."
"Nothing eased your mind."
"Please, help to ease your Eriks mind." He begged quietly, tears threatened to spill from his eyes as his voice cracked.
Christine softly cupped his face looking deep into his eyes. She let out a surprised exhale seeing the damage he's done to his face. She ghosted her finger tips over his deformity, she frowned at the scratches and now irritated skin from all the scratches. Erik gently sucked on a breath shutting his eyes scared to see her reaction.
"Come, I have something to help with this."
Before he could protest she pulled him up and out the door. Erik kept his head bowed down as he watched their footsteps walk towards their bedroom. Erik knew his house like the back of his hand, it's impossible for him to forget it and yet, he felt so lost. As though he was trapped in his own mind and only Christine could lead him through it.
Erik sat on his side of the bed, it was now cold. He waited patiently as Christine went to fetch something.
He jumped feeling a cool press lotion against his check. He didn't realize that she had returned with it, plopping it against his deformed check, spreading it over all the scratches getting between all the crevasses of the folded skin.
"That should help with the irritation."
"Thank you, Christine."
Christine softly held his chin softly looking down at her husband reading his eyes, Erik just held her eyes feeling a strange anxiety spread through him. Would she be mad?
"Why do you hurt yourself with these thoughts?"
Christine asked after several minutes of looking at her husband, they've had these conversations before, she knows her husband's fears. She perfectly aware of his intrusive thoughts, if she left Erik for…him.
Erik opened his mouth to answer then closed it again. He felt pinned to his seat by her hazel eyes who wouldn't leave his blue ones. Seconds went by it felt like all the air had been knocked out of him and wouldn't return no matter how many breaths he took. He felt so exposed, like an open book. How? How did she know so easily?
Erik sat in complete surprise not able to even fathom words to explain himself Christine waited for an answer. She grew rather tired of it, so while he sat there like a deer caught in headlights she slowly leaned forward pressing her lips to his rough ones that were left agape.
Erik gasped surprised, he froze shocked she would- she was kissing him. He slowly wrapped his arms around her softly kissing her back. Once his arms encircled her, he pressed her against him making them most gasp as they broke apart resting their heads together. Their breaths mixed, every doubt, thought, and fear was poured into that kiss and finally disappeared into nothing. She pulled away looking at her husband cupping his face with both hands looking down at him.
"Promise me, you won't have these thoughts anymore, at least not alone."
With a clear, at peace, and slightly fuzzy mind he looked up at her with a soft smile.
"I promise."