Work Text:
Renjun hates his job.
Don’t get him wrong, being a superhero is cool, there’s no doubt about that. It’s always fun to slam the bad guys against walls and watch them crumple like ragdolls, and it certainly fuels his ego when he hears young middle-schoolers gushing about his heroic acts.
But it sucks a whole lot when he is stuck in the vault of some rich old man’s mansion, using his precious powers to guard a stupid five hundred carat diamond. The vault has double locks installed, for god’s sake. Renjun knows he isn’t needed here, but the rich often have too much money with nowhere to spend.
The universe has worked this way since the beginning, and it continues to stay the same way even till now—the rich always become richer, while the poor always become poorer. It’s a little mortifying for him to be falling prey to the rich, and Renjun can’t help but groan as he scans the vault for nonexistent thieves.
He didn’t take up this job willingly, of course. Although being a superhero guarantees an automatic spot in the limelight and a lifetime of fame, the income is highly unstable. You might hear stories of victims thanking superheroes for saving them, but no one ever hears stories of superheroes getting paid for their good deeds.
And well, Renjun can tell you very grimly that superheroes do not, in fact, receive a single penny.
So here he is. It works for him, anyway—Renjun stations himself in the vault every night at eleven, and waits patiently for his rich employer to wire him money at the end of each week. After all, who wouldn’t say yes to a few extra zeros in their bank account? (At least he can afford to eat pizza once a week now.)
It’s unbearably boring, having to stand guard while his powers prickle incessantly under his skin, begging to be used. There’s a weird thrumming in his veins that just won’t leave him alone, but Renjun sucks it all up as he taps his foot against the ground impatiently, counting down to freedom. He just needs a few more days here, a few more zeroes in his bank account to ensure that he doesn’t starve for the rest of the year, before he can resume all his saving-the-world business.
Renjun slumps against the glass case, scowling as he inspects the diamond. It’s a dainty, delicate little thing, nestled in the middle of a blue cushion. Apart from glittering so brightly that it blinds, the diamond doesn’t seem to be of any use, and it’s completely beyond Renjun why anyone would ever feel the need to guard such a useless thing.
He has half a mind to ditch his post and head back home, but there’s still half an hour left, and Renjun will be damned if he doesn’t receive his pay just because he skipped a few minutes. Trying to keep his annoyance at a minimum, he crosses his arms and starts mentally counting down. At least one good thing will come out of it—he would finally be able to say goodbye to being constantly out of money.
After all, it is pretty embarrassing for a superhero to be bankrupt.
“I heard that someone is going to steal the diamond,” Jeno mumbles, shoving yet another avocado toast into his mouth. He takes a huge gulp of whatever nasty concoction he had ordered, looking very proud of himself for providing such useful information.
Renjun wrinkles his nose, mourning for his wallet as he watches Jeno chomp down his fifth avocado toast. When he had offered to treat Jeno to breakfast, he hadn’t expected him to order five plates all at once.
“Dearest Jeno,” Renjun rolls his eyes. “You have to be more specific. Everyone wants to steal the diamond.”
“Even you?”
“In case you haven’t noticed, we are superheroes. Which means our job is to save everyone, not steal or rob,” Renjun points out.
“Hm, that’s true. Anyway, it’s probably serious this time,” Jeno offers unhelpfully. “One of the villains would be involved.”
Of course. Renjun can feel a pounding headache knocking at the edge of his temples. Speaking from experience, it’s almost always trouble in paradise whenever those pesky villains start anything. He can barely resist a shudder when he thinks back to the previous shitstorm in January.
Mentally, he sifts through the possible villains in his head. Na Jaemin? Yang Yang? Or perhaps Lee Donghyuck? None of these names bode well.
“Do you know anything about what they’re scheming?”
“Nope,” Jeno shakes his head cheerfully, completely unaware of how Renjun is already plotting his demise. “Just thought you might be interested in this information, since you are guarding the diamond right now.”
“Gee, thanks a million,” Renjun laughs sarcastically. “You are of absolutely no help, Lee Jeno.”
Jeno raises an eyebrow, a cheeky smile on his face as he continues stuffing his face with toast. “Well...at least I’m not the one with a negative bank balance. I have an actual job that pays well, while you are stuck with your diamond.”
The absolute nerve. There’s absolutely no hesitation on Renjun’s part when he finally lunges across the table to smack Jeno on the head.
✫彡
A good superhero would take the time to assess the situation and choose the right course of action. A good superhero would definitely call for backup and try their utmost best to prevent a robbery from happening. However, Renjun is broke, grouchy and lazy, so he did nothing but let Jeno’s warnings ferment at the back of his mind.
(“You are a terrible superhero, dude,” Jeno had complained several months ago. Renjun remembers fighting him in the middle of the road back then, but he thinks he would probably agree with that statement now. For someone who had once pledged to save the whole world, he is doing quite a shitty job.)
Safe to say, when the vault door clicks open at eleven on a Saturday night, Renjun is not prepared. In a bid to buy more time, he stands in front of the diamond like a human shield, the cogs in his brain whirring at twice the speed they are supposed to work at.
Alright. He has his powers. And no plan whatsoever. But at least he has his powers. That counts as something, right?
A pair of polished shoes come into view, followed by a hand clad in dark leather gloves that pushes the vault door open. The figure moves into the vault slowly, head bowed to hide his features—there’s a moment of silence as both of them hold their breaths, but then the intruder steps into the light and looks up. The all-too-familiar grin is hard to miss, and Renjun’s heart falls into the pit of his stomach almost instantly.
Lee Donghyuck. Renjun knows him, oh of course he does. Known as one of the most notorious villains and thieves in the city, Donghyuck has built quite the name for himself. Renjun should have expected him to appear here sooner or later, honestly. After all, the diamond has been the talk of the town for months, and many thieves have been eyeing it for a long time.
“Hello there, Renjun,” Donghyuck lifts his hands to give a tiny wave. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“Lee Donghyuck,” Renjun snaps back, moving to the right to hide the diamond from Donghyuck’s view (as if that would help anything, but he is truly desperate now). “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Still as feisty as ever, I see,” Donghyuck’s eyes glitter under the dim light. “Make a guess, why don’t you?”
“Oh, you can’t possibly be here to invite me to tea, can you?” Renjun scoffs, scanning Donghyuck quickly for any possible weapons. He doesn’t seem to be carrying anything, which brings Renjun a certain amount of relief. Donghyuck still has his powers of course, but it’ll be easier to deal with him without the threat of a knife or a gun.
“We have to leave the tea for another day, unfortunately.” Donghyuck shrugs, voice casual and light, as if he were talking to a close friend and not his arch-nemesis. Renjun curses whoever came up with the rule that superheroes aren’t allowed to attack first, because goddamnit, he would love to sock Donghyuck in the face, thank you very much.
Donghyuck takes a step closer, coming to a stop just a mere meter away from Renjun, and a meter and a half away from the diamond. He shoves his hands into his pockets, smiling sweetly as he continues to stare. The annoying thing about Donghyuck is that he is great at scheming—you can try all you want to fight against him, but he will always catch you by surprise in the end.
God knows how many times Renjun’s plans had been foiled by him. Just thinking about it sends a sour taste down Renjun’s throat, and a tiny flame shoots out of his fingertip from all the stress. He should really start receiving hefty compensation fees for all the grey hairs he has gained just from dealing with Donghyuck.
As if he could read Renjun’s thoughts, Donghyuck lets out a chuckle, eyeing him with amusement. His posture is relaxed, and his shoulders are completely free from tension as he shuffles from foot to foot. He doesn’t look like someone who is two seconds away from committing a robbery, which just makes this entire situation ten times worse, because this means he must have done something to the guards positioned outside.
Renjun knows he has to stall for time. He doesn’t know what Donghyuck is planning (and god, he doesn’t want to know), but he needs a few extra seconds to think of a counter-plan.
“How in the world did you sneak past the guards? And how did you even get through the double locks of the vault door?” Renjun hurls the questions at him, scowling as Donghyuck’s eyes light up. He seems to know Renjun’s exact intentions behind these questions, but he also doesn’t seem to mind entertaining them as he crosses his arms leisurely. Absolutely infuriating.
“Renjun,” Donghyuck shakes his head, feigning disappointment as the edges of his lips tug downwards. “This is my job, remember? Getting into a vault is a piece of cake.”
“Okay, well stop right there,” Renjun holds up his hands as Donghyuck approaches. Best case scenario, he manages to hold Donghyuck off for seven hours, and Jeno, miraculously, comes to save him in the morning. Worse case scenario, Donghyuck zaps him into dust within the next ten minutes, and Renjun loses both his dignity and his job.
The latter seems more possible at the moment, and Renjun can’t help but let out an internal groan as he stares at Donghyuck silently. If they were to really fight it out, Renjun doesn’t know how well he can hold up against Donghyuck; the previous time he and Jeno had gone against him, both of them ended up terribly battered, and that is a memory that Renjun absolutely does not want to relive.
“Oh mighty Renjun, are you scared?” Donghyuck’s lips curl into a teasing grin as he leans forward, tutting lightly. The tiny flame at the tip of Renjun’s fingers immediately bursts into a small fire, flickering agitatedly in the middle of his palm.
“Shut up and stay away,” Renjun hisses. He flicks the flame at Donghyuck’s lapels, but he merely shoots him an amused look before he pats the fire out calmly. He doesn’t even look the least bit phased, and Renjun can feel his blood pressure rising steadily.
Superheroes aren’t supposed to kill, but Renjun would very much like to wrangle Donghyuck to death right now. He deserves it, anyway, Renjun thinks sagely, that’ll teach him to keep his hands to himself and stop meddling in illegal business.
“You can stop growling at me like a wounded cat,” Donghyuck laughs, leaning forward to pat Renjun on the head. On the head, for god’s sake. It took all of Renjun’s willpower to not to bite off his fingers. “Don’t worry, treat today as a warning. A taste of what to expect for the next few weeks.”
Renjun narrows his eyes. “The next few weeks?”
“Why? Did you think I came here to do nothing?” Donghyuck raises an eyebrow, tapping his foot on the ground. “I’m sure we’ll have so much fun for the next few weeks!”
“I doubt so,” Renjun grinds out a curse under his breath. A few weeks of “fun” with Donghyuck means a few weeks of sleepless nights and constant worrying—he can’t even imagine what devilish plan Donghyuck had cooked up this time to steal the diamond from underneath Renjun’s nose. Whatever it is, it’ll definitely be a nightmare by the end of it.
“Well, enough chattering for today,” Donghyuck materialises at the other end of the room in the blink of an eye, hand reaching out to grasp the vault door. “I have to leave before our dearest security guards wake up. See you soon, Renjun.”
Renjun glowers at him, watching as he slides out of the vault, as silently as he had arrived. He would love to chase after him, but leaving the diamond alone merely presents an extra opportunity for Donghyuck to get him grimy hands on it. Renjun has fought with him way too many times to know that his favorite pastime is playing tricks on his enemies.
It does seem a little unbelievable that Donghyuck isn’t plotting anything today, but Renjun is too thankful to feel any other emotion at the moment. Now that he knows that Donghyuck is planning to steal the diamond, at least he has an inkling of what to expect. But knowing Donghyuck, it’ll be a miracle if he even manages to guess what he is up to.
Time is a blessing in a dire situation like this, and Renjun is going to make use of every second to thwart Donghyuck’s plans.
“I’m not going to help you,” Jeno mumbles as he drowns his pancake in syrup, before taking a big bite out of it. He isn’t eating avocado toast anymore, thank god, but pancakes aren’t any better. Capitalism is a nightmare, honestly, because the pancakes are so overpriced that Renjun’s wallet is still crying.
“What do you mean you are not going to help me?”
“I meant what I said,” Jeno shrugs, eyes crinkling into crescents. “It’s Donghyuck we’re talking about here.”
“Precisely! He is literally the reason why I am turning to you for help,” Renjun complains. If it were any other villain, Renjun wouldn’t even bat an eyelid in Jeno’s direction. But it’s Donghyuck, talented in being both the world’s most destructive villain and also the dirtiest little thief ever.
“Yeah, nope,” Jeno shudders. “Remember the previous fight we had? It was a catastrophe. No way am I ever going anywhere near Lee Donghyuck.”
“Lee Jeno, you are a wimp, you know that right?” Renjun curses.
“Am I?” Jeno hums. “You sound like a bigger wimp, begging me to save you from Donghyuck.”
“I am not begging, what the hell?”
“Oh? Good luck then.”
“I am going to kill Donghyuck with my bare hands,” Renjun seethes. “Then I am going to come for your ungrateful little ass, and bury you right next to him.”
“That’s the spirit!” Jeno swishes his pancake in more syrup, and Renjun has to resist the urge to beat him up as he gives him a cheerful thumbs up.
“I’ll get Donghyuck by myself, just you watch,” Renjun swears. He can only pray that he’ll make it out alive at the end of it.
✫彡
When Donghyuck returns to the vault two days later, Renjun is fully prepared.
He hurls a fireball right at Donghyuck’s face the moment he steps through the door, prepared to burn the stupid smirk off his face, but Donghyuck merely steps to the side, dodging it with a relaxed spin. Curse him.
“Skills a little rusty?”
“That was a purposeful miss,” Renjun mutters darkly. “It was meant to come off as a warning.”
“Is that so?” Donghyuck looks far too amused for his liking. He takes a seat, crossing his legs in front of him, actions lazy and languid. Renjun’s eyes slide down his body, and he feels a sharp stab of jealousy as he traces the long length of Donghyuck’s legs. No matter how annoying he is, Renjun has to admit that he has amazing proportions.
In another universe, one where they aren’t superheroes and villains, Donghyuck could have been an idol or a model, perhaps. But with that devilish grin permanently etched on his face, Renjun can’t imagine him as anything other than what he is right now.
“I am prepared to face you today,” Renjun warns. “Quick, let’s get this over and done with.”
“Get what over and done with?”
“Aren’t you here to steal?” Renjun groans, exasperated. “Let’s fight so that I can injure you and stop you from bothering me for one month. Just one month of peace, goddamnit.”
“So eager to inflict damage on me?” Donghyuck shakes his head in feigned disappointment. “I am not prepared, though.”
Renjun stares. Sighs. Throws his hands into the air. Sighs again.
“What in the world are you doing here then?”
“Having fun, can’t you tell?” Donghyuck crosses his arms behind his back, rocking slightly on his chair. “Calm down, Renjun. Let’s have some fun.”
“You are jeopardising my job and my life right now, so no,” Renjun replies flatly, hands still poised to receive any surprise attack that Donghyuck might spring. The diamond behind him burns a hole into his back, a strong reminder of why Donghyuck is here in the first place.
Renjun eyes Donghyuck’s relaxed posture, the way he is sitting on the chair, as if he isn’t afraid that Renjun is going to blast him into a billion pieces. If he attacks now, there’s probably no way for Donghyuck to block the advances effectively.
“You know I can kill you now, right?” Renjun moves forward, curling his hands into fists and he lets his powers course quicker through his veins.
“Oh? I’m pretty sure your stupid little superhero’s protocol prevents you from doing so, though,” Donghyuck grins smugly at him.
Fuck it, the itch to break the rules is getting a little too strong.
(Besides, if he manages to wheedle Jeno into hiding Donghyuck’s body with him, he is sure no one would ever find out.)
“It’s different for me, though,” Donghyuck stands up to face Renjun, leaving a mere centimetre between their noses. He stares Renjun hard in the eye, hand coming up to flick a strand of hair off his forehead, before whispering, “It’ll be easy for me to just finish you off right now.”
Renjun should run, god he really should. But Donghyuck doesn’t look like he would go through with his words, so Renjun stays rooted to the spot.
“You wouldn't.”
Donghyuck regards him quietly, before stepping away with a small grin on his face. Renjun lets out a breath he hadn’t realised he had been holding; he has to admit that their close proximity had unnerved him a little, but he would never tell Donghyuck that. Who knows what that idiot would do with this piece of information? Intimidate Renjun by pressing his face closer, perhaps.
“You’re right, I wouldn’t,” Donghyuck laughs lightly. “Would have finished you off a few months ago if I wanted to.”
The audacity. Renjun is pretty sure that he is fuming right now, and if he tries hard enough, he can probably get smoke to come out from his ears. He should not let Donghyuck’s words get to him, but oh, how he would like to throw Donghyuck into his washing machine and wring him dry.
“Get out, right now.”
“Aw,” Donghyuck pouts, brows creasing together in a deeply pinched frown. “Is that the way to talk to a friend?”
“Friend?” Renjun splutters, staring at him in utmost incredulity. “Who in the world is your friend?”
“You, of course!” Donghyuck looks so extremely pleased with himself that Renjun wants to bash his head against the wall. “The dictionary states that friends spend time together and talk to each other. Isn’t that what we are doing right now?”
“Lee Donghyuck,” Renjun grits. He doesn’t know what he had done in his past life to deserve such torture, but he would very much like to undo all his wrongdoings if that means that Donghyuck would stop bothering him with such nonsense. “First of all, we are not friends. And I’m pretty sure this isn’t called talking. It’s called bickering, because we hate each other.”
“We can always start becoming friends,” Donghyuck slides forward, leaning against the wall as he throws a wink in Renjun’s direction. Lord, Renjun wants to end this. Or end Donghyuck, whichever comes first. “I’m Donghyuck, resident villain and the hottest thief in the neighbourhood. And you are?”
“I’m Renjun, and I want you to shut up and get out,” Renjun shoots him a condescending glare. “If you aren’t going to do anything productive, scram and stop bothering me.”
“Oh, but I am doing something productive right now,” Donghyuck smiles, mischievous and secretive, as if he knows something that Renjun doesn’t quite know. It’s irritating to say the least, and Renjun wants to smack it off his face.
“And I assume that includes annoying the fuck out of me?”
“You got it right, bestie,” Donghyuck props his head up on his palms, and the grin that rises up his face is a little too triumphant. “We are going to have so much fun for the next few weeks.”
Renjun rolls his eyes so hard that he fears his eyeballs might drop. It is going to be a long night.
The third time Donghyuck comes back, he lugs along with him a gigantic monopoly board, coupled with all the latest figurines and places. There’s an ecstatic grin on his face that Renjun can’t seem to wipe off, and he seems dead set on getting Renjun to play. Against the better part of him, Renjun relents and spends the rest of the night playing monopoly with his enemy.
It’s all part of his plan, Renjun concludes lamely, after arguing with Donghyuck over who is richer for half an hour—after all, keeping his enemy occupied does prevent him from stealing anything.
By the time Donghyuck arrives for the fourth time, Renjun barely even bats an eyelid anymore. It’s not even surprising for him to see that Donghyuck has a knitting kit in his hand, because he seems to enjoy doing the most random things outside of his villain job. At the end of two hours, Donghyuck managed to knit a small sweater, while Renjun procured what he would like to call...abstract art.
Arts and crafts has never been his forte, but he would rather swallow a jar of pickles than admit defeat to Donghyuck, so they held a knitting competition all the way till dawn. Knitting is some exhausting business, but looking at the tired grin on Donghyuck’s face, Renjun can’t help but think that it’s all worth it.
It must be some sort of ploy to annoy him till he cracks, Renjun concludes, when Donghyuck steps into the vault for the fifth time this week, with absolutely no intention to actually steal the diamond once again.
At this point, Renjun has already given up on trying to get him to confess how he managed to bypass the guards and the locks. There’s no point trying to understand the mind of a criminal, after all, and Renjun has no interest in finding out the dirty details behind Donghyuck’s actions.
“Hello, dearest Renjun!” Renjun winces when the vault door flies open for the millionth time, a loud voice blaring through the air. Honestly, the guards his rich employer had stationed outside the vault should all be fired. They are completely useless against Donghyuck, and Renjun can’t understand how they are being paid a few hundred a day when they can’t even do their jobs properly.
At this point, Renjun bets he is the only one actually putting in effort to guard the diamond. If he is the one receiving all the credit (and pay, of course), then perhaps he wouldn’t be so broke.
“How has your day been?” Donghyuck looks way too cheerful for someone who is up at one in the morning. He hands Renjun a cup of something that looks and smells suspiciously like coffee. Renjun balances the cup on his palm, but he doesn’t drink from it. You can’t blame him for being wary, honestly—it might be coffee disguised as poison, who knows?
“Rest assured that the coffee isn’t poisoned. There are many more exciting ways to kill you, poison is so boring,” as if he could read Renjun’s thoughts, Donghyuck waves a hand nonchalantly in his face. Trust him to say that poisoning someone is boring, god. Renjun can feel a pounding headache threatening to arise once again.
“Are you really treating this becoming friends thing seriously?” Renjun takes a small sip. Latte, not too cold, not too hot. Renjun wonders how Donghyuck managed to know what exactly likes to drink—does he keep tabs on all his enemies? Rejun makes a mental note to change his coffee order the next time he visits the coffeeshop.
“Obviously. I just spent five dollars on this coffee, didn’t I? No need to pay me back, by the way,” Donghyuck’s eyes twinkle. “That’s what friends do, right? They treat each other!”
“Alright,” Renjun lets out a long sigh, and he hopes Donghyuck can catch the obvious undertone of suffering he hadn’t really tried to hide. “How about you quickly get on with the stealing and stop with all the friendship bullshit?”
“Oh, don’t worry your pretty ass over that,” Donghyuck grins, pearly teeth glinting under the lightbulbs. “I’m working on stealing...whatever I want to steal.”
There are so many things to dissect here that Renjun doesn’t know where to start. Pretty. Ass. Pretty ass? Renjun is a superhero, for god’s sake, he isn’t trained to read his enemy’s opinions on his ass.
“Whatever you need to steal,” Renjun deadpans. “You mean the diamond right?”
“Hm,” Donghyuck laughs, a tinkling sound that bounces off the walls of the vault. “Of course.”
✫彡
“Jen…” Renjun rubs his eyes tiredly as he flops on the table, trying to ignore the way Jeno is devouring yet another plate of bacon and eggs. All his morning counselling sessions with his best friend are slowly turning into eating sessions—or rather, eating sessions for Jeno and mourning-for-his-wallet sessions for Renjun.
“Do you think Donghyuck is planning something?” This question has been bugging him for days, and Renjun can’t even begin to count the number of nights he had spent with this recurring question plaguing his brain.
“Of course he is,” Jeno doesn’t even bother to look up from his plate. “Your question should be: when is he not planning something?”
“That’s what I thought,” Renjun grumbles. “But what in the world is he planning?”
“Look, it’s been two weeks, and he hasn’t even done anything yet!” Renjun tugs at his hair in frustration, and the pull he feels at his hair roots grounds his incoherent thoughts for a moment. “He just goes around and does the most random things ever! I don’t even know if it’s because he is a weirdo or if it’s all part of his complicated plot.”
“Random things? For example?”
“He literally pops in five times a week because he wants to be my goddamn friend! He spends almost half an hour every night in the vault just sitting there and annoying me,” Renjun knows he is on a full rant right now, but it has been too long since he had the chance to speak. He glares at Jeno accusingly, “and you wanna know what’s the craziest thing? He bought me a latte the other day, and he got the temperature exactly right. You can’t even get my order right, for god’s sake.”
“Oh?” Jeno perks up at this. “That’s interesting…”
“Interesting?” Renjun demands. Jeno and Donghyuck are annoying in the exact same way—both of them absolutely enjoy giving the most cryptic responses ever, which is something that Renjun’s brain is not built for.
“Yeah…” Jeno looks at Renjun thoughtfully, and a small smile tugs at the edge of his lips. “It’s pretty interesting.”
Renjun has given up on trying to find a pattern for Donghyuck’s visits. He comes and goes as he pleases, and he seems to love popping in whenever he is done with his villain business, which Renjun suspects is just looting and terrorizing. He can only hope that Jeno is responsible enough to deal with that while he is stuck here with the diamond.
“You are back again?” Renjun groans when he hears the tell-tale click of the vault door opening. He doesn’t even bother to get into a protective stance anymore as Donghyuck enters; he knows he is gradually lowering his guard, but it’s tiring to be on the alert every single second.
“Missed you too, Renjun,” Donghyuck teases, but he looks pretty serious (well, as serious as a villain can get) when he stops in front of Renjun. “Don’t worry though, I brought you a gift today.”
“A gift?” Renjun lifts an eyelid to look at Donghyuck wearily. The last time Donghyuck had said the word gift, he and Jeno had been blasted through a wall. But strangely enough, Renjun hadn’t seen Donghyuck use his powers at all for the past few weeks, which is quite unsettling.
“Here you go,” the gift in question this time is wrapped innocently in brown wrapping paper. Donghyuck dangles the parcel in front of Renjun, looking away resolutely. The tips of his ears seem a shade pinker than usual, and he looks unnaturally shy. It’s a weird image, but Renjun has to admit that he doesn’t hate it.
It’s cute, honestly. Renjun diminishes these thoughts immediately when they enter his brain. God, what in the world is he thinking?
“What is it?” Renjun weighs the parcel in his hand. It is definitely way too light to be a bomb, thankfully, and too oddly-shaped to be toxic powder.
“Open it,” Donghyuck urges. When he sees that Renjun isn’t going to do anything, he takes it from his hand, and tears the brown wrapping paper open hastily. Renjun barely has any time to react before something silvery is dropped into his palm.
Bringing it closer to his face, something in his chest leaps when he sees that it is a pretty silver bracelet. Tiny jewels line the sides of the metal, and a small clasp completes it all. It’s the kind of accessory that Renjun has always dreamt of buying, but has never quite found the spare cash to do so.
“Well…” Donghyuck looks a little nervous as he scans Renjun’s face anxiously. “Do you like it?”
“It is pretty,” Renjun admits, turning it over in his hand, admiring the way light bounces off the dainty bracelet. It’s the first time someone other than Jeno has given him a gift for reasons other than his birthday and Christmas, and Renjun hates the warm feeling bubbling up in his heart.
“Yeah?” A relieved smile tears itself across Donghyuck’s face instantly. “Let me put it on for you.”
He grabs Renjun’s hand gently in his own, nimble fingers circling around his wrist to clasp the bracelet on. Renjun is aware that Donghyuck can use his powers to burn away his entire layer of skin if he wants, but he can’t bring himself to pull away. Donghyuck’s fingertips are warm, and if Renjun lets him leave them around his wrist for a few extra seconds, he hopes Donghyuck doesn’t notice.
In a bid to clear his mind, Renjun coughs awkwardly as he snatches his hand back, holding it against his chest a respectable distance away. “Did you steal it?”
Donghyuck freezes, a muscle in his cheek ticking for the slightest second, before a teasing grin pulls at his lips once again. “What do you think?”
“You definitely stole it,” Renjun rolls his eyes. “Which shop?”
“Not telling you,” Donghyuck is still smiling, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes this time. “Does it matter?”
Renjun stares at the bracelet around his wrist, at the way it catches all the light and fits perfectly. “No, it doesn’t.”
It’s easy enough to find the shop where Donghyuck got the bracelet from. The hard part, however, is convincing himself that he has to return the bracelet. Curse his stupid superhero mentality and the moral obligation to do the right thing, honestly. Renjun just wants to have a pretty accessory for once, goddamnit, but now he can’t even enjoy it. Sometimes, Renjun wonders if he would fare better as a villain, what with all his constant thoughts about breaking the rules.
Renjun sighs as he pushes open the door to the jewellery shop, bracelet heavy in his hands. The bell tinkles as he enters, and he immediately puts on his professional smile as he holds the bracelet out to the bubbly salesgirl at the counter.
“Hello! I’m afraid that someone might have stolen a bracelet yesterday, so I have come to return it.”
“Someone stole a bracelet yesterday?” The salesgirl raises her eyebrows, staring Renjun in utter befuddlement. “Sir, we do not have any reports of theft from the past month.”
“Are you sure?” Renjun frowns, inspecting the bracelet in his hands before handing it over to the salesgirl. “Would you like to check?”
She holds the bracelet to the light, and Renjun watches the way light glints off the surface, before the salesgirl lets out a surprised gasp. “Oh sir! This most definitely wasn’t a theft! Yesterday, a young man came into our shop to purchase this.”
“Purchase this?” Now Renjun is confused. Didn’t Donghyuck say that he had stolen it?
“Oh yes, it’s really cute!” The salesgirl claps happily, a dreamy look entering her eyes. “He was really excited, and he kept talking about how it was for a very special someone. Look, he even made us carve that person’s initials on the inside of the bracelet.”
The salesgirl beckons Renjun forward, and his heart trembles in his chest when he catches sight of the faint engraving.
RJ. His initials. It’s so small that Renjun hadn’t noticed it, but it’s definitely there.
“Thank you,” Renjun murmurs as he takes the bracelet back from the salesgirl, slipping it onto his wrist. Donghyuck bought the bracelet for a very special someone? And he carved Renjun’s initials on the inside of the bracelet?
God. Renjun’s heart is thumping so loudly in his chest that he can barely discern what the salesgirl is saying. He doesn’t know how he managed to walk out of the shop without tripping over himself, but he does know that he can’t stop thinking about stupid Donghyuck and his stupid bracelet and his stupidly-endearing engraving.
“You didn’t steal the bracelet,” Renjun accuses. “But you said you did.”
Donghyuck looks like a deer caught in the headlights, but he quickly composes himself as he faces Renjun with a placating smile. “Well...you found out pretty quickly.”
“Yeah,” Renjun sighs. “Care to explain?”
Donghyuck shrugs. “It’s pretty fun, seeing you get all worked up.”
What about the engravings? Or the fact that you said it was for a special someone? Renjun wants so badly to ask these questions, but he bites them all back as he stares quietly at Donghyuck. If he isn’t going to say anything about that, then Renjun finds no point in asking those questions either.
“Whatever it is,” Renjun mutters, twisting the bracelet around his wrist. “Thank you, I like it a lot.”
“My taste in jewellery is impeccable, of course,” Donghyuck puffs his chest out dramatically in pride, but he looks a lot happier than before. “It’s time for you to think of gifts for me too, right?”
“Continue wishing,” Renjun scoffs, but he does create an imaginary list in his head. He wants to convince himself that it’s because he doesn’t want to be indebted to Donghyuck, but he honestly doesn’t know anymore. Perhaps, when he has a bit more money (his breakfasts with Jeno have been taking quite a toll on his wallet), he would buy Donghyuck something.
Something small, of course, because there is no way he would spend much on his arch-nemesis. No way in hell.
Donghyuck takes Renjun’s hand in his, holding the bracelet to eye-level. After a while, he lets out a pleased laugh as he smiles at Renjun. “It fits you well, doesn’t it?”
Of course it does, Renjun thinks faintly, you even carved my initials on it.
“Wear it everyday, yeah?” Donghyuck teases, eyes bright. “As a symbol of our blooming friendship.”
First the daily visits, then the perfect-temperature latte, and now the specially-engraved bracelet. Renjun’s heart gives a traitorous thump. Another thump. Then the thumps don’t stop coming.
Renjun presses a hand against his chest, trying to soothe the overzealous muscle that is very obviously working overtime. Oh, what in the world is Donghyuck doing to him?
✫彡
“Tell me that Donghyuck is a terrible thief,” Renjun begs. “Just, god. Whatever. Tell me that he sucks.”
“Donghyuck is an amazing thief, and you know that,” Jeno points his fork in Renjun’s face. It’s french toast day, apparently, and Renjun doesn’t even want to begin wondering how Jeno managed to eat five french toasts in the past twenty minutes.
“Alright, then why hasn’t he made a move on the diamond yet?” Renjun stresses, ignoring the glare Jeno shoots him when he reaches forward to swipe a piece of french toast from his plate. “It’s been two months. Does he not have anything better to do?”
“Renjun,” Jeno swallows, before shaking his head in pity. “You are just so weirdly...dense sometimes.”
“Insult me one more time and you can say goodbye to your french toast.”
“Look,” Jeno puts down his fork to clasp his hands in front of him. “Have you ever wondered that...perhaps the one he wants to make a move on isn’t the diamond?”
“What else does he want to make a move on?”
“You?” Jeno looks at him incredulously, as if he can’t believe just how stupid Renjun is. Renjun would have been offended, but he is too busy trying to calm down the muscle in his chest that is currently trying to break free.
“Me?” Renjun wonders out loud. “What about me?”
There’s a ten-second period of silence as Jeno stares at Renjun quietly, before he lets out a loud sigh. “I know you want me to praise you, but I’m not going to do that, so you can inflate your ego by yourself.”
Renjun’s heart is thudding so hard that he fears he might need medical help soon. This isn’t normal. Getting palpitations because of your sworn-enemy definitely isn’t normal.
“I think I need to be hospitalised…” Renjun says slowly, as he presses a hand against his heart. “You just shared with me a piece of astounding information, and my heart is thumping so fast that I might die.”
“Don’t be dramatic,” Jeno fixes him with a vexed stare. “Is it so hard to admit it? From what I can tell, Donghyuck is probably head over heels in love with you, and you most definitely like him too.”
“I...what?”
“I really have to do all the work around here, gosh,” Jeno looks like he is suffering, but Renjun can’t even find it in himself to blame him, because his own internal turmoil is turning his stomach upside down.
“Do I really have to spell it out for you? Huang Renjun, you have a—”
Crush.
Renjun has a crush, and he doesn’t know what to do. It would be easier if he is infatuated with a fellow superhero, because he is pretty sure getting rid of a small crush is easy, but Donghyuck being the subject of matters concerning his heart just complicates the whole situation.
For one thing, he is supposed to hate Donghyuck. And for another, he has to see Donghyuck almost everyday. Renjun doesn’t know how he can possibly manage to hide his crush in front of Donghyuck; who knows what he would do with such a piece of information.
Renjun would like to think that he isn’t a gullible person, but it’s scary to even imagine how quickly he had fallen. It started off with the smiles, of course. Renjun found his gaze lingering on the way Donghyuck laughs unbridledly, the way he isn’t afraid to contain his laughter as he chortles at whatever lame thing Renjun had said. Gradually, his attention shifted onto the moles on Donghyuck’s cheeks—which, upon close inspection, formed beautiful constellations. Renjun is an astrology buff himself, so he found all of these quite endearing.
Then very soon, he started looking at Donghyuck himself. And the rest is history.
Sighing for the umpteenth time, Renjun stares quietly at the vault door, a stray pulse skittering its way across his collarbone. Donghyuck hasn’t appeared for the past one week, probably busy trying to steal diamonds from somewhere else.
Renjun doesn’t want to admit it, but perhaps, just perhaps, he misses Donghyuck a little. A little only, though, because getting too hung up on a villain is never a healthy sign.
The vault door is still tightly shut, and Renjun can’t help but feel like the world’s shittiest superhero as he wishes for Donghyuck to appear. Ever since that conversation he had with Jeno over breakfast, Donghyuck managed to wedge himself tightly into a spot in Renjun’s heart. It’s getting a bit ridiculous, honestly, the number of times Renjun thinks about Donghyuck on a daily basis.
When he closes his eyes, he can see Donghyuck’s mischievous grin, coupled with the way his mouth stretches into a teasing smile whenever he talks to him. For god’s sake, sometimes he sees Donghyuck more times a week than he sees Jeno, which is saying something. It’s driving Renjun totally crazy, and he can’t help but bemoan the loss of his rationality and brain as he stares into space.
No one ever seems to understand the importance of teaching superheroes how not to fall in love. But if anyone decides to conduct such courses in the future, Renjun knows he’ll be the first one to sign up. Falling for the villain? He’ll be the laughing stock of the class.
✫彡
When Donghyuck strides into the vault the next day, twirling his black glove casually in his hand, Renjun is suddenly at a loss of what to do. It has been a week since Donghyuck has last appeared; he still looks as radiant as ever, but there is a slight spark in his eyes that wasn’t there a week ago.
Donghyuck looks like he has a plan right up his sleeve, which should have set off warning bells in his head, but nerves have clouded Renjun’s brain so badly that he can’t quite bother with anything else other than Donghyuck at the moment.
“Hey,” words suddenly feel weird coming out from his mouth, but Renjun lets the syllables roll off his tongue slowly. “You didn’t come last week. What were you doing?”
“Oh?” Donghyuck’s eyes round with interest. “You noticed? Why, Renjun...were you perhaps worried about me?”
“You wish,” Renjun scoffs, but his heart jumps a little at that lie. He had indeed wondered, on several occasions, whether Donghyuck had gotten into trouble, before realising that he would be the one causing trouble instead.
“Just wanted to make sure you didn't commit any other crimes elsewhere,” Renjun grumbles, turning back to the diamond. He is acutely aware of Donghyuck shifting slightly behind him, but he refuses to look him in the eye. Not because he is fighting the urge to do something utterly preposterous like kissing his enemy, of course, because Renjun isn’t stupid like that.
But oh, he is already stupid for falling for someone he shouldn’t have.
“You didn’t miss me? Not one bit?” Donghyuck holds a hand against his heart, face crumbling in feigned misery.
“You know…” Renjun sighs. Rolls his eyes. Sighs again. “You are honestly a terrible thief.”
“How so?”
“It has been three months, and you haven’t done anything at all. Are you ever going to steal the diamond?” Renjun jabs a finger in the direction of the jewel, watching as Donghyuck’s eyes flicker to the diamond for the smallest fraction of a second, before landing back on him once again.
“Renjun…” the edges of Donghyuck’s lips curl into a teasing grin. “Who said I wanted to steal the diamond?”
“...What do you mean,” Renjun barely has the chance to blink his eyes before Donghyuck appears right in front of him. He had been at least two metres away just now, but it seems like teleportation is his power as well. (Renjun makes a mental note to keep track of that.)
“If you aren’t here to steal the diamond…” Renjun frowns, heart thudding heavily against his chest. “Then what are you here to steal?”
“Your heart, of course,” Donghyuck makes a huge show of wrapping an arm around Renjun’s waist as he lifts a finger to tap against Renjun’s chest gently. “I’m here to steal your heart.”
Renjun can feel all his breath being knocked out of his lungs, travelling straight out of his trachea and collecting in his mouth, threatening to burst through.
I’m here to steal your heart. God.
“What do you mean?” He splutters, blushing heavily at their close proximity. Curse his inability to hide a blush; he knows he is probably flushing all the way to his hairline. “You can’t just sprout nonsense like that.”
“I am not sprouting nonsense though,” Donghyuck has backed him all the way up against the diamond case, and Renjun can feel the glass digging into his spine. “It’s the truth, sweetheart.”
“What?” Renjun tries for a laugh, but it sounds way too raspy to be genuine. It’s honestly a miracle that he is still able to speak, what with Donghyuck’s arm around his waist and face two centimetres away from his. “Stealing my heart is the truth?”
“Of course,” Donghyuck’s answer comes out immediately. The arm around Renjun’s waist tightens, but Donghyuck’s fingertips are still gentle against his skin, a subtle warmth burning a hole through his shirt. “So...what’s the verdict? Have I succeeded?”
Yes. Renjun looks up at Donghyuck. His eyes are unbearingly serious, so tender that Renjun has to do a double take. He is breathing slowly, lips just a mere millimeter apart—it would be easy for Renjun to just lean up and press a small kiss at the edge of his lips.
A small one wouldn’t hurt, right? It’s the faintest brush of lips, a small peck so fleeting that Renjun fears he might have imagined it. But then he catches sight of Donghyuck’s expression, one of surprise and adoration all mixed together, and he knows it wasn’t a figment of his imagination.
Unable to keep the smile off his face, he is just about to reach back up to pull Donghyuck down in a real kiss, when the glass behind his back disintegrates. Quite literally. Horrified, Renjun whirls around to see that the entire glass case has melted under Donghyuck’s touch, and the diamond now sits snugly between his fingers.
“What the fuck?”
“Sorry darling,” Donghyuck has the nerve to look apologetic as he continues hugging Renjun with one hand, the diamond still glinting in his other hand. “Villain duty calls! Forgot to mention that I am actually here for two things: stealing your heart first, then stealing the diamond next!”
Catching sight of Renjun’s thunderous face, Donghyuck pouts, “Alright fine, if you wanna kiss that badly, I guess we can do that later!”
“Oh, so now you wanna kiss me?” Renjun can feel his blood pressure spiking dangerously high, and ironically enough, if Donghyuck hadn’t been holding him, he would have exploded from all the pent-up frustration.
“I always save the best for the last! Don’t worry, I promise you five kisses later!” Donghyuck winks, and then he spins away from Renjun in one swift motion, appearing right beside the vault door. “Catch you later, sweetest!”
“Lee Donghyuck!” Renjun cradles the ball of fire in his palms, mentally calculating the best position to throw it in, such that it would ensure a hundred-percent hit. “Give me the diamond, and get back here so that I can strangle you to death.”
He can barely even wrap his head around what has happened in the past half an hour. Trust Donghyuck to confess to him, steal the diamond, and then promise to kiss him five times while escaping. What an asshole. (Renjun is most definitely not enticed by the five kisses.)
“Sorry, but nope!” A lighting crackles somewhere in the distance, and Renjun can see Donghyuck thrumming with excitement as he gathers his powers. “I don’t quite fancy dying in the hands of the love of my life!”
Love of his life? Renjun would very much like to zap him to smithereens.
“Return the diamond. Right now.”
“On one condition,” Donghyuck throws him a gleeful grin as he floats mid-air, the diamond still clutched in-between his fingers. “Ask me out on a date, and I’ll return your precious diamond instantly.”
“In your dreams!” Renjun rolls his eyes. “You pull all this shit, and still expect to snag a date?”
“Well then...” Donghyuck shrugs, mirth evident on his face; he seems like he doesn’t believe any of Renjun’s threats. “You can have fun chasing after me then!”
Donghyuck zooms off into the night, and Renjun can do nothing but groan as he picks up pace once again, a ball of fire ready in his palms. It seems like they would be spending the whole night playing this cat and mice game, because there is no way Renjun would ever ask him on a date.
Yeah. No way in hell.