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jschlatt fell from a high place
"You know, at some point your hacks might not work, and you'll just be dead." Phil brought up one day, looking down at the ground.
"Bummer." Schlatt shoved it off when he got closer to Phil and where he died, gathering the items he dropped. The Brit frowned.
"Yeah. Real bummer." Schlatt picked up his backpack and looked at Phil.
"What are you trying to get at Phil?"
"Oh nothing, just that I'm gonna be fucking upset if you die and don't come back. Might have a laugh or two but mostly just rage." Phil began walking home, "just rage and sadness." Schlatt stayed in place, watching the back of Phil's head and startling himself when the man turned around. "You coming?"
"Your hacks might not always work, but I got the magic touch. They call me the Hackerman Phil, did you know that?" Schlatt grinned and caught up to Phil, ignoring how he rolled his eyes.
"I mean it mate. I'd miss you."
"Why? You'll always have my tombstone."
"That's fucked man." Phil looked at him but Schlatt just laughed.
"You've already mined one of my graves, why not just dress the last one up in my armor and use it to keep you company?"
Phil punched his arm, ignoring his wince, "because then I'd go insane and start going on a rampage."
"No you wouldn't." Schlatt rubbed his arm, keeping his gaze trained on the side of Phil's face, who refused to look back and just kept his gaze forwards.
"I just might." He absentmindedly ran his hand against a tree trunk they passed. It was the middle of the night but they knew their way back enough and had their swords on them so they forwent the torches and decided to rely on the moonlight bleeding through the leaves. "Just- seriously why don't you believe that I'd be upset?" Phil looked over at Schlatt, who decided that it was now his turn to look forwards, squinting at nothing.
"Well for starters I've been a major pain in your ass," if Phil agreed he didn't make it known, "and I'm just overall unpleasant to be around. I bet you're just saying this shit so I can give you the mirror back." Phil stopped walking, causing Schlatt to pivot around with a grin on his face. "I'm spot on aren't I? You just want the mirror back so you're buttering me up with your sweet words-"
"Is that really what you think I care about? Do you really think I'm that shallow to where I'd sweet talk you into giving me an item I made clear I wanted you to keep?" Phil furrowed his brows.
"You tried sweet talking me back at Shapiro's place."
"You had all my shit and wouldn't give it back!"
"Still a time you sweet talked me into giving you shit, why is it so absurd for me to think that's what's happening now?" The man crossed his arms and raised a brow, his grin having already fallen. He was confused why Phil was taking this so seriously. It's obviously a bit, right?
"Schlatt I fucking mean it when I say this; you have to be more careful because if you die and neither of our hacks work to bring you back, I'm gonna be so damn sad and would miss you so much." Phil looked... actually upset that Schlatt wasn't taking this as seriously as he was.
"Wait so-..." Schlatt couldn't wrap his head around it, it really didn't make any sense, "wait so this isn't a bit? You're telling the truth?"
"Wh- Yes! Why on earth would it be a bit Schlatt?! I wouldn't put my heart on my damn sleeve just to giggle and say 'haha just kidding!' like some asshole schoolboy!" Phil stepped closer unconsciously. "You're my friend mate, of course I'd care about you."
Oh.
"Oh." Schlatt slowly looked down and nodded. He felt Phil put a hand on his shoulder, and he was pulled into a hug before he could say anything and returned it, dumbfounded.
"I… I guess I'll be a bit more careful. No promises though." He felt Phil's smile grow, felt his laugh rumble against him.
"That's fine, it's good enough for me." He moved his face to rest between the crook of Schlatt's neck and his shoulder, hugging him tighter. He smelled of dirt, metal, and wood with the subtlest hint of something floral. It was undeniably him and something about it tugged at Phil.
The silence of the forest felt awkward but they just laughed it off, not daring to break free from the embrace. Schlatt's hand carded through the hair at the base of Phil's neck, careful to not knock his hat off. Phil kept his arms around Schlatt's back, rubbing circles into his shoulder blade with one of his hands, making conscious effort to not accidentally let them slip to his waist. That would definitely ruin the nice mood that's been set.
"Hey Phil?"
"Yeah mate?" Phil lifted his head and pulled back slightly, just to look at him. He tilted his head when Schlatt fully pulled away from the hug. It was suddenly a lot colder than he remembered the forest being.
"I… nevermind, it's- it's stupid." He shook his head and rebegan their trek home.
"What? What'd you wanna say?" Phil put a hand on his shoulder as he caught up in hopes that it would slow Schlatt down but to no avail.
"No, we sleep in the same little abode. Shit would just get awkward if I said anything and I dunno about you but I'm not looking to move out." Phil let out a laugh, bewildered at the change of pace from the sweet hug to this.
"Why would you saying something lead to one of us moving out of the cave? I don't understand-" Schlatt turned around.
"Phil, I love you."
"I love you too mate, what does-"
"No, I mean I want to kiss you and hold hands and shit." Phil's eyes widened. He opened and closed his mouth a few times.
"Oh."
"Yeah 'oh." Schlatt turned back around, suddenly very agitated by how far their home was in reality to how close they thought they were. "See this is what I meant! Now shit's gonna get weird. I might as well just move into where the Obama's used to be."
"Wait Schlatt, you- you won't have to. We can still share the cave."
"No we can't, we can't separate our beds without losing space and making it bigger is just too much of a hassle." As if moving out wasn't more difficult.
"We don't have to separate our beds though, is the thing. We don't have to have a pillow in the middle and we definitely don't have to move apart in terms of living conditions."
"Why are you-"
"I already said why. I love you. You mean a lot to me and I'm deciding it now that missing you also includes if you moved out."
"You're just saying that-"
"Again about my heart on my sleeve. Look, let's talk about this in the morning," Phil suggested but Schlatt shook his head.
"Don't wanna. Another time. I'm gonna sleep the fucking day away tomorrow." He wasn't really going to but it brought a laugh out of Phil so that's good enough. "What now?"
"Now?"
"Well, we both… y'know." Schlatt huffed and ran a hand through his hair, tousling it slightly. "God I feel like a fucking kid having his first crush." They both laughed, the tired finally starting to set in.
"Do you- er would you wanna… y'know, maybe start going out? I'd suggest taking you on a date first but there aren't really any good places for dates when the world is trying to kill you." Schlatt laughs and looks back at Phil.
"Sure fuck it, why not? What have we got to lose huh?" He grinned, Phil mirroring it and tugging his arm to pull the taller man in for another hug who returned it immediately.
After a bit though Phil looked up at Schlatt, seemingly deep in thought. He furrowed his brows and pursed his lips, which Schlatt just chuckled at and placed a gentle kiss on Phil's lips. His face instantly turned beet red and his eyes wide, and Schlatt just laughed harder.
"Was that what you were thinking about? When would be a proper time to kiss this handsome face?" He grinned and Phil laughed, burying his face into his shoulder.
"No I was actually thinking about where the fuck we are but sure, let's go with that."
"Oh. Right. We're so lost."
"So fucking lost!"
"Without electric staffs or armor." They stayed in silence for a bit, just embracing and thinking about how they'd get back home.
"Well if we die we always have hacks."
"SCHLATT."
