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They were on scene, Buck and Eddie arguing about what type of pizza toppings to get for their movie night later on.
Buck wrinkled his face. “Eds, I ‘ve told you before…. fruit does not belong on pizza!” Eddie rolled his eyes. “You’re so dramatic. How else am I supposed to get you and Chris to eat your veggies?” The blond stuck his tongue out then, proving just how mature he could be; Eddie had ideas for how to make his tongue behave.
The elder woman who was on the gurney they were carrying smiled warmly up to them. “Ahh reminds me of my sons. You two are just like brothers.” The two looked two each other with a quirk of their brows. Brothers? How hard had this lady hit her head?
Shrugging it off, they hoisted the woman up into the ambulance, getting right back into their debate about toppings, finally agreeing to do half pineapple and peperoni, the other half peperoni, sausage and olives. Buck strutted in his triumph as they walked back to the truck, sticking his tongue out to Eddie once more as he said, “Olives are a fruit too.” Before Eddie could make a comeback, one of the police officers on sight commented, “I can’t believe they let siblings work together.” The officer laughed while Buck and Eddie once again exchanged an odd look.
Neither of them had exclusively professed their feelings for the other, but everyone had always spoke about them as if they were husbands, always acting like a married couple; the team had never let them live down the grocery store scene. They both brushed the comments off, not giving them much thought afterwards, only being reminded of it when it happened again a few days later.
~
They had taken Chris out bowling, both of them helping the boy get set up, backing off to let him do his own thing once it was safe to do so. After the ball hit the pins, Chris giggled with excitement, both of them running up to hug him, Buck ruffling the boys’ curls. As they helped Chris get the ball into position again, stepping back to let him roll it down the allotted ramp, the woman next to them smiled fondly. “It’s so great that you guys are so close.” They each smiled to her, Buck thanking her. “Thanks. They’re uh, they’re pretty great.” Buck and Eddie shared a look, the woman pulling them back into reality as she looked to Buck. “You are such a great uncle. That boy is lucky to have you in his life.” Uncle? He was only an uncle to one adorable kid–his sweet baby niece Jee-Yun; Chris was his best bud, his…son.
The woman moved on, leaving the two just as confused as the other day. Was their friendly banter becoming too ‘friendly’?
They didn’t speak about their unease of these comments, much like they didn’t ever talk about their true feelings for one another; they were both just grateful their teammates still seemed to be acting normal around them, simply rolling their eyes or sharing seemingly knowing looks with one another towards their banter. At least someone understood their relationship—right?
~
A week passed, the brotherly comments all but forgotten until someone made another one about it while they were working to put out a raging fire. Their current debate concerned which of them could get their side of the fire out faster. Buck winked to his best friend, holding the hose higher. “They don’t call me firehose for nothing.” Eddie would like to see how true that was—he could just imagine—but didn’t dare give the man the satisfaction. “Pff you wish. I bet you made that name up for yourself.” The blond was almost offended then; Buck 1.0 had worked hard to earn that reputation.
The fire chief came up behind them then, apparently having been eavesdropping on their conversation. He patted them both on the shoulder, admiring their work as they continued to put the fire out. “Captain Nash did a great job hiring you two. You’ve really got that brotherly bond going on here guys.” Eddie’s glance immediately turned down, Buck all but dropping his hose; the man did understand they weren’t talking about actual hoses, right?
As they finished putting the fire out, they kept their commentary to themselves, not wanting to give anyone more ‘brotherly’ insights. Buck definitely got his side out first though—he’s just saying.
If their teammates had picked up on anything new between them, they didn’t say, well, not at first anyway.
~
Later that week, the 118 was all gathered at their favorite table in their frequented bar, celebrating the start of the weekend.
Buck and Eddie approached the bar together, cutting each other off as they asked for the same beer simultaneously. They smiled knowingly to the other, though it quickly turned to a frown as they debated who was going to pay. “Eds I already told you—” Eddie slid his card to the bartender, cutting Buck off in the process. “And I already told you that I was buying since you made dinner the other night.”
As Buck was coming up with a retort, a young woman about their age sauntered up, looking between them with starry eyes. “Well, I wish two good looking brothers would fight over buying my drink.” Buck couldn’t help himself, having enough of these offhanded comments. “What makes you think we’re brothers?” She looked between them giggling to herself. “Well, I mean it’s fairly obvious with the way you two are arguing, clearly trying to show who’s more macho.”
Were they? Buck always thought it was just how they secretly flirted, Eddie indulging him whenever possible. Eddie didn’t add anything, simply mumbling something about how they should get back to the group, Buck following closely behind them, leaving the woman just as confused as they were.
They were both mopey and quiet once they got back to the table, their teammates quickly picking up on it. Chimney looked between them, “They out of your favorite beer or something?” Hen added on, “You look like two kicked puppies.” Chim laughed, “Yea mopey and mope-ier.”
The two laughed together, Buck and Eddie unable to join in, too lost in their own head. Bobby sighed, “Alright spill, which one of you pissed the other off this time?” Eddie stayed his usual silent self, not one to indulge his personal problems on the team, while Buck however had no qualms about doing so, except admitting his feelings for Eddie of course.
“Do you guys think-think that me and Eddie are like-like—brothers?” The word felt heavy coming off his tongue, as if it offended even his lips. Hen and Chim burst into another fit of laughter, Bobby surprisingly stifling his own. The two youngest groaned; they were doomed. Being stuck in the friend zone was one thing, but being referred to as brothers? That was a step in entirely the wrong direction. It looked like they both needed some advice from people that were close to them, but not around them all the time.
~
Christopher was on the iPad, facetiming with Eddie’s sisters one night a few days after his and Buck’s latest ‘brother’ encounter.
The whole thing had put him in quite a funk; every time Eddie thought he and Buck were actually getting somewhere, something like this happened, setting them back even further. The idea that anyone thought they were brothers was absolutely ridiculous; did they not see the way Eddie looked at Buck?
He'd hoped by now that Buck would pick up on his ‘not so subtle’ hints, but it never seemed to happen. Sure, they’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms a handful of times, been caught carding their fingers through the others hairs, maybe even shared some intimate touches here and there, but Buck was a fairly tactile person after all—maybe Eddie had been reading into it all along, seeing what he wanted to.
Christopher deemed he needed to use the restroom, tossing the iPad Eddie’s way as he gathered his crutches, making for the hallway. Eddie was suddenly face to face with his sisters, both of them reading him like a book. “Edmundo, qué pasa?” He sighed into the device, deciding to ask them their opinion. They knew him and Buck well enough to have formed their own ideas, but didn’t spend too much time around them to be completely compromised.
“What do you think about-about Buck? I mean, does he seem—do we act like brothers?” His sisters shared a look, one he couldn’t read before turning back to him. Adriana smiled as she spoke sympathetically. “Is that how you see him, as a brother?” Isabella added, “It’s ok if you don’t, I mean if you see him as more.”
At that Eddie looked into the screen wide-eyed, his words failing him; did they—no, they couldn’t possibly know how he really felt about Buck. Isabella tried again, capturing his attention before speaking. “I haven’t been around the man a whole lot personally, but if the way Chris speaks about him is any indication, well, let’s just say I think your son thinks a whole lot more of him than being an uncle.” Adriana winked to him, “Just as I think you feel the same. He’s way more than a brother to you Eddie…we would know, being your sisters and all.”
They all shared a laugh then, Eddie thanking them wholly; maybe he hadn’t been so sly about hiding his feelings after all.
Chris came back then, Eddie letting his son take over the conversation once more, thanking his sisters again before hanging up. He leaned in to give his son a hug, Chris molding right into him. “Mijo, how do you-what does Buck mean to you?” He would never use his son to express his feelings, but he thought it might help to get the opinion from the person he loved most.
Christopher sat up, thinking about it thoughtfully before answering. “Well, he’s my best friend. But-but sometimes…” His son trailed off, Eddie encouraging him to continue. “You can tell me anything son, I won’t be upset.” The little boy nodded, taking a minute before answering. “Sometimes he’s kind of like-like you, like I have two dads.”
That was all Eddie needed to hear; if his son felt that deeply about Buck, then Eddie needed to get to confessing before he did become a brother/uncle. He hugged his son tighter, wishing Buck was on the other side so they could smash the boy between them, making them feel whole.
No matter what, Buck was family; Eddie just had to find the right words to tell him.
~
Buck let himself into his sister’s apartment, grateful Chimney was off running some errands with Albert; he needed Maddie all to himself.
Before he even said hello or made his presence known, he was wandering over to Jee-Yun who was in her playpen, crouching down to rub a finger over her tiny hands, the baby cooing contently. He didn’t hear Maddie approach, just her excited voice as she came up behind him, beckoning to her daughter. “Is that your uncle, huh?” Jee smiled even bigger, completely melting Bucks’ heart; he just wanted to wrap her up and never let go.
He rubbed at her little fingers until she fell back asleep, Maddie thanking him wholly. “You’re a saint little brother. She really loves her uncle.” Buck smiled to her, frowning slightly as he rubbed at the back of his neck. “That’s uh-that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”
They made themselves comfortable on the couch, Maddie looking to him with worry. “What’s going on Evan?” He sighed as he slouched into the couch. “Everyone—people keep referring to me and Eddie lately as brothers.” Maddie let a laugh slip out, chastising herself as she looked to see that her daughter was still sleeping soundly, gathering her composure before responding. “Ok, well, what do you think about that? I mean, the comments are bothering you, yes?” Buck nodded, “Yea, but-but I don’t know why.”
She gave him that look then, the one that says ‘I’m your big sister and you can’t fool me.’ “I think you do know why, and that’s why they’re bothering you. Have you and Eddie talked about it?” He shot her an offensive glance. “What? No.” He would barely admit his feelings to himself, so how would he tell Eddie that these brotherly comments were bothering him?
Maddie reached for his hands then, Buck reluctantly letting her take them in his. “Evan, your feelings might not be obvious to everyone, but they are to me. What’s holding you back?” Buck shrugged, “I don’t wanna lose my best friend. What if-what if he doesn’t feel the same way?” Maddie looked to him sympathetically. “I’ve seen the way that man looks at you and it’s anything but brotherly. You two are hopelessly in love.”
Maddie never lied to him, well, not outright anyway. If she was saying that, then Buck knew it was true; it didn’t mean he was ready to accept it though. Eddie was his partner, best friend, the one he felt he could count on most, hell, they were practically raising his son together.
As if reading his mind, Maddie added, “I’ve seen the way his son looks at you, the way you two have bonded—it’s truly something special. I’ve also watched the way Eddie looks at you with Christopher, like you two are his entire world. The three of you have molded so entirely into a family, I don’t think you’ve even realized it.” Buck thought about it, biting at his lower lip. “Yea, but-but what if I’m just like the cool uncle or something?”
She smiled fondly over to her daughter. “You already are, just not to Eddie’s son. I’ve all but heard the kid call you dad before.” Yea, Buck heard it before too, he just brushed it off as Chris being tired or overly affectionate; maybe Maddie had a point.
As his niece began to cry out, Buck went straight to her, lifting her into his arms, cradling her just so. He whispered softly to her, Maddie standing by, watching with adoration. “Chris may not be yours by blood, but he’s still yours. You won’t lose him Evan; Eddie wouldn’t allow it.”
He continued swaying back and forth until Jee was resting peacefully again, moving to sit on the couch with his niece securely tucked in his arms. Just the idea of having a family with Eddie was overwhelming; it’s all he’s wanted for so long.
Losing Eddie would be the worst outcome, but losing Chris might be even worse; he loved that kid so damn much. He was afraid of getting hurt, being rejected, though it was starting to scare him more to not let himself feel, to let himself be openly in love with Eddie.
If he ever wanted to feel whole, he had to tell him, had to tell Eddie that he meant more to him than a friend or a brother; he meant everything.
~
The two moped around into the next week, both of them trying to heed their sibling’s advice.
It was their day off, Christopher at school, Eddie sitting around his house aimlessly, trying to come up with the right way to tell Buck; he’d already played out about a million different scenarios in his head. The truth of it was that it wouldn’t work out like any of them—it wouldn’t work out at all if he didn’t get his ass off the couch and go to him.
Buck heard the familiar jingle of the key turning in his lock, knowing immediately who it was as his sister was at work. Eddie walked in a second later, Buck waiting in the kitchen, sliding him a beer once he came in. “Thanks man.” Buck nodded, both of them raising the bottle in cheers before each taking back a healthy sip.
Buck had been pondering all week, laying in bed restlessly at night as he debated with himself on what or how he should confess to Eddie; he hadn’t even had the nerve to invite him over.
The awkward silence between them was an obvious sign they were both hiding something from each other; neither of them had been acting quite themselves lately. Buck hadn’t taken Maddie’s words lightly, knowing they were true; he just didn’t know how to act on them, that little voice in the back of his head making him halt. As he wasn’t one for silence though, he found himself blurting out, “Do you see me as your brother?”
Eddie’s fingers paused where they’d been drumming on the bottle, his gaze flicking up to meet Buck. “Probably about as much as Chris sees you as an uncle.” The wording confused him, Eddie clearly hating himself for the phrase as he dragged a frustrated hand through his hair. Buck stepped forward, closing some of the gap between them; if he reached out, he could brush the tips of his fingers over Eddie’s arm.
“Eds, I uh-I don’t think I ever saw you as a brother, or just a friend. I mean-I mean you’re my best friend but uh…” Words were failing him, Eddie looked up to him with wonder. “You’re my best friend too Buck, always. But maybe-maybe we could—be more?” Buck shivered at those words, his arms lining with goosebumps. “Yea?” Eddie stepped closer, closing the last bit of space between them, Buck’s fingers reaching out to ghost over the hairs covering Eddie’s arm.
Eddie shook his head, looking up to Buck once more. “Chris said that having you in his life is like him having another dad.” Damn the tears that welled in Bucks’ eyes, threating to come out at any given moment. “Mads said something about him calling me dad before…think uh, think I’ve heard him say it myself.” The smile that crossed Eddie’s lips was overwhelming; Buck couldn’t help but to lean in closer. Eddie met him in the middle, their foreheads coming to rest together.
“I don’t-I don’t wanna lose you Eds…I can’t lose Chris.” Eddie’s hands came out instinctively, rubbing soothingly over his cheeks. “Hey, you’re not gonna lose us—we’re not going anywhere.” Their eyes met in that moment, Eddies’ thumb moving to brush his tears away, Buck leaning into the touch.
It wasn’t clear which one of them made the first move, but their lips were suddenly pressing together into the softest kiss, all of their feelings pouring out into the other. Bucks’ hands moved to grasp Eddie at the waist, bringing them impossibly closer as Eddie framed his face, deepening the kiss as his tongue darted out to gently trace over Bucks lips before dipping inside. The kiss quickly became heated, both of them pressing into the other, their movements saying everything they’d been too afraid too.
When they finally broke apart, they were both panting, refusing to move too far, never wanting to let the other go again. Buck sighed into him, “God, I never thought that would happen.” Eddie laughed, “Yea, I thought you would never take any of my hints.” The blond pulled slightly away, still keeping their hands intertwined, an incredulous look crossing his face. “I told you they called me firehose, and you didn’t pick up on that?!”
Eddie only chuckled harder, “You tell that to everyone.” Ok, that was fair, but still. The brunette glanced him over, his big browns moving slowly down Bucks’ frame, stopping once they reached the growing bulge in his pants. His voice came out low, almost heated, as he whispered, “Maybe you can show me just how true that nickname is, huh?” Buck gulped, deep in his throat, his mind racing.
They all but chased each other up the stairs, discarding clothes as they went, falling into bed together, finally able to explore the other how they’d always wanted, no more unspoken words lingering between them.
They laid there after, Buck all but draped over Eddie who didn’t mind in the slightest, both of them completely content. Buck looked up to Eddie, pulling his lips in for another heated kiss, resting his head over Eddie’s after. “Yea, that definitely didn’t feel brotherly.” Eddie groaned beneath him, pushing at him slightly. “Please never say that again while we’re in bed together, or just ever.” Buck laughed into him. “Ok boyfriend, I promise.” Eddie still rolled his eyes, but in a fond way, pulling Buck back in for a soft kiss. “Come on boyfriend. Let’s get some sleep before we have to pick up our son.”
Buck hadn’t lost anything, and neither had Eddie; in the end, they only gained each other, something they already had, but now they could love each other freely. They’d created the family they’d always wanted, always deserved, and no one could ever take that from them, damn their silly comments.
It was obvious they were in love; the fact that anyone could see anything different was beyond them.