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Rule#1: The game Stick Stick is not to played with a lightsaber
Rex: look I’m all for games to boost morale, but not at the expense of your safety
Anakin: what’s stick stick?
Fives: it’s a perfectly safe game. The boys toss a stick around that’s colored on one side. The idea is to catch the stick on the colored side only. It’s good for reflex training I don’t see the problem with it.
Rex: the problem is when you play with a lightsaber. I do not want to walk in to Hardcase grabbing the ignited end of a saber ever again.
Fives: he was screaming pretty loud now that I think about it
Kix: and I don’t want to have to heal that again. He couldn’t shoot for weeks
Anakin: you boys should really be careful around lightsabers. A Jedi’s weapon is not a toy.
Anakin *under his breath to fives* Ashoka’s sabers are a lot more balanced you’ll get less spin in your throw
Fives *whispering* : thanks general
Rule#2: Super glue must be disposed of before entering armor storage
Rex: this isn’t even up for discussion
Jesse and Fives *snickering*: worth it
Dogma: *sitting with his arms crossed in just his blacks and a helmet*
Kix: *standing behind him with laser cutters* well the good news is the helmets almost off.
Dogma: and the bad news?
Kix: you’re gonna need a haircut
Rule#3: capture the flag is not to be played with the fighter ships
Anakin: I’ll have you know that we are not playing capture the flag. We’re running intense flight simulations
Plo: indeed. The Wolfpack finds flight training with the 501st to be quite productive
Obi-Wan: yes well unfortunately Cody was quite descriptive in his report and I quote, “astromechs were cast into space. Pilots objective seemed to be to steal astromechs and deliver it to their respective cruiser. Pilots shot one another with electromagnetic chargers to shut down ships and round them up. Gold five and Gold two crashed during what General Skywalker called a ‘jailbreak’. No injuries were documented thankfully.
Anakin: dammit Cody
Plo: *whispering* well I guess the 212th can’t play with us anymore
Rule#4: Magnetic ceilings must be disabled in the barracks when anakin visits
Rex: Jesse rigged up a pretty nice magnetic ceiling for our barracks and the boys like to clean up by throwing stuff on the ceiling to keep it off the floor. When the General walked in, the ceiling grabbed up his arm pretty quick since we were in the middle of tidying up. It’s on a timer so it doesn’t shut off for a few hours.
Anakin: yeah that was one of my worse days
Rule#5: don’t screw with C-3PO’s settings
Tup: I was trying to help. Honest I was.
Rex: regardless, he talked in binary for three days. Jesse still doesn’t know how you manage to get his language mod stuck. Nothing short of a hard reset shut him up.
Rule#6: check all ships and tanks for stowaways before deployment
Waxer: yeah this ones on us.
Boil: how were we supposed to know the little monster could fit in the gear box
Cody: well after you boys slipped up all the younglings started doing it
Obi-wan: I don’t think I can keep explaining to the council why the younglings keep ending up in the outer rim
Rule#7: quit pretending to shoot people in the back, even if that person is an asshole
Jesse: The blaster wasn’t loaded, Krell wasn’t looking, and I feel a whole lot better so what’s the problem.
Rule#8: you must report to a medic ASAP after receiving an injury
Kix: Rex, I’m looking at you for this one.
Rex: I’m only doing my job
Kix: and I’m doing mine, now sit down while I put your shoulder back in place.
Rex: it’s fine, I can still shoot with my other ha-OW. A little warning next time.
Kix: next time you dislocate your shoulder I won’t be so kind.
Rex: *under his breath* that was kind?
Rule#9: only clones with tank licenses can drive the tanks
Rex: alright who let Hardcase drive a tank?
Everyone: *points at Fives*
Fives: I didn’t let him. He asked why they take the tanks around the barracks and I said ‘Hardcase, a tank wouldn’t fit between the barracks’. And he said “shut up fives you don’t have any depth perception.” And drove the tank between the barracks.
Wolffe: *standing outside his barracks that has a tank lodged into it* Rex, your boys are sleeping outside tonight.
Rex: *nodding* they’ll be outside until the 104th barracks are new and shiny again.
Rule#10: no pets allowed in the barracks
Wolffe: if I find one more lizard in my bunk…
Sinker: yeah don’t we have enough pets with Boost around.
Boost: ill put spiders in your helmet again Sinker
Wolffe: absolutely not. If I find another animal in here so help me.
Comet: *hides a meowing box behind his back* they were on the street I didn’t know what else to do
Wolffe: what’s in the box, Comet.
Cosmos: …
Wolffe: Comet what’s in the box.
Comet: I think you know.
Rule#11: caf is not a suitable replacement for sleep
Rex Obi-Wan Cody and Anakin: *sitting around a table with caf cups in front of them.
Ashoka: how long has it been since you boys got a proper nights rest.
Anakin: three or four?
Ashoka: three or four what? Hours? Days?
Rex and Obi-Wan nodding: three or four.
Cody: *bites into his datapad* … this isn’t a bagel.
Ashoka: GO TO BED
Rule#12: don’t get between Wolfpack and ration bars
Plo: they will growl and they could bite. *he says with teeth marks on the sleeve of his robes*
Rule#13: Ashoka can’t pull all-nighters with the boys. She’s still a kid
Anakin: yeah I can’t have my gunner falling asleep in the back of the fighter again.
Ashoka: it was game night, besides the boys drink caf and their fine
Rex: sorry kid, we’re built to run on little sleep, you’re not.
Ashoka: I am a Jedi, I can handle such trivial things.
Anakin: you are a child. You have a bedtime.
Rule#14: Cowboys can only be played when the Jedi Council is not in session
Anakin: the courtyard of the temple has these little creatures called pigmus and the boys like to hop on speeders and round them up. Which is fine, unless of course the council is in session and happen to hear Fives crash headfirst into a column and look outside to see all the pigmus have broken loose and my 501st boys are running around like chickens with their head cut off. Then it’s not so fine.
Rex: we’ll play when no ones around next time sir, sorry sir.
Fives: Rex was the best at it too.