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Lance McClain
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Lance
“Hey Shiro?”
“Yeah?”
“D’you know Haggar’s real name?”
“Real name?”
“Like, back in Altea?”
“Oh! Right.”
A pause.
“Uh, I think it was something like Honerva?”
“Yeah! Yeah that’s it. Thanks Shiro!”
“You’re…welcome?”
Welcome to the Altean Archives!
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Lance McClain
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See also:
Laboratory of Honerva Fiklmi
Alfor Dakhir
Melenor Conthik
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Allura
Honerva is the one who teaches Allura alchemy.
She's kind, patient. She teaches Allura all she knows, makes her read all the books she has. By the age of six, Allura can feel all life energy around her. When she reaches twelve, she can alter emotions. And at eighteen, she can control anyone’s mind, easily.
Whenever Zarkon comes to Altea, he teases her-- ruffles her hair and tells her she’s going to steal his place as Black Paladin someday. Honerva, who’s right next to him, shakes her head, waves away her husband with a smile. “Absolutely not. She’s too talented to be a paladin,” she says categorically. “Potential wasted.”
Alfor laughs, raising an eyebrow. “Should I be offended by that comment, Nerva?”
“I mean she’s right, aibak ,” Allura’s mother, Melenor, tells him with a quick kiss on the cheek (aibak is an Altean term of endearment, it means my life ). “Allura’s an amazing alchemist, and her quintessence is even stronger with all the interaction she had with the lions.”
Honerva nods. “I’m certain her communication with quintessence will be at least as strong as the lions, she’ll create things we haven’t even thought of.” She shoots a wink to Allura, “You’ll be one of the strongest Altean to visit Oriande.”
Honerva insists on developing Allura’s curiosity: An alchemist is nothing if they don’t question everything. Both Melenor and Honerva welcome it. Her father too, although most of the time exhausted from Voltron, tries to offer something to satisfy her interrogations.
(“The youth is the future, Alfor.” Honerva pinches him, when he falls asleep in the middle of Allura’s questioning. “I’ll be damned if you don’t answer all of your daughter’s questions.)
Alfor takes her to the lions almost every week, and soon enough, she develops a connection to all of them. To the surprise of almost everyone, Allura has a soft spot for Blue, both Zarkon and Alfor losing their bet to Blaytz, Blue’s paladin.
(Allura catches an argument in the Castle hangar after that time, all the paladins are laughing.“I can’t believe you betted on your own daughter, Alfor.”
“I can’t believe she doesn’t prefer Red!”
“Have you seen Allura? She thinks things through, there’s no way she’d favour Red.”
“That’s why I rooted for Black!”
“Oh shut up Zar.”)
Allura follows Honerva everywhere, shares her opinion on everything, even when she is wrong (and in these times, Honerva corrects her gently, explaining to her why her hypothesis wouldn’t work). The Alteans and the Galras are so used to seeing them together, they start calling Allura 'little Honerva'.
“You’d think they’d call her little Melenor with how much she looks like me,” her mother says one day; they’ve just come back from the International Galra Laboratory. “But no, looks like your curiosity outdid your looks.”
Allura laughs, hugging her mother and kissing the top of her head. “But I love you, Oan, ” — a nickname all Alteans call their parents —“you know that right?”
“More than Honerva?” She teases. Honerva’s next to them, she rolls her eyes to the queen.
“Leave your daughter alone, Melenore,” she turns to Allura. “This is why your parents are such a good match, I’ve never met anyone more dramatic than them.”
Melenore pushes her off the chair. Honerva pushes her back, laughing. Allura thinks her silliness comes from both of them. They’ve taught her curiosity, but most of all, they’ve taught her how to laugh.
There’s a lot of things that follow Allura through the war, but those are the memories that haunt her the most. When she sees Haggar, when their eyes meet and it’s yellow instead of gold, there’s guilt that creeps down her throat. Another one she lost, another one she couldn’t save.
When Zarkon falls, when Lotor dies, when only Haggar’s left, Allura hesitates.
There’s another memory Allura cherishes more than anything: the ceremony where she gets her alchemist marks-- on the back of her neck, her hips, her legs and on her elbows. Honerva’s braided her hair, and she’s painting her lips and cheeks.
“I’m proud of you, Allura.” She tells her in that memory. Allura looks up to her, meets her golden iris, feels the soft hands palming her cheeks. “You’re going to be a great alchemist. Better than I was. Better than all of us.”
When Zarkon falls, when Lotor dies, when only Haggar’s left, Allura hesitates.
The team turns to her, “What’s next ?” She doesn’t know.
She doesn’t know.
Allura doesn’t think anyone can blame her for it.
Lance
“Wait.”
Keith turns to look at Lance with a puzzled look: they're in the middle of a high ranked ship, and they've just stolen an important piece of information, they don't exactly have the time to stop; Lance gets it. That may be why he struggles to hide his surprise when Keith actually acknowledges him. "Yeah?"
Lance raises an eyebrow; his bayard still in hand, he detransforms it. “Didn’t think you’d listen.”
Keith rolls his eyes, already seeming to regret his decision. “What is it, Lance?”
“Here,” he points to the end of the hallway, there’s a Galra commander hovering over a druid. It’s dark, so he’s not sure, but it feels important. “Doesn’t it look like the Galra’s threatening them?”
Keith looks to the direction he’s pointing, furrowing his eyebrows. “Too dark,” he mumbles. He closes his eyes and when he opens them back, his sclera is yellow, and his pupils are slitted. “Huh, yeah. Looks like the Galra’s... yelling.”
Lance scratches the back of his head, trying (and failing) to look somewhere else than Keith. His fangs have popped in his mouth, the tip of his teeth scratching his now bleeding lips. Lance risks a glance toward his hands and yep, there it is: claws and lilac skin. He doesn’t comment on it (he doesn’t think Keith controls it). “Think we should get closer?”
“You don’t have the time to get closer,” Pidge interrupts over the comms. “We have eight doboshes left before they close their hangar. You won’t have a way out.”
“Feels like it’s important though,” Lance says, he’s playing with the paint on his bayard. Alfor should’ve invested more in the painting of these weapons (and the lions). (How come you build a machine that heals everything but can’t purchase good paint, huh?)
“Lance’s right,” Keith says. He’s already pulling back his bayard, starting to walk toward the end of the hallway. Lance resists the urge to roll his eyes at the impulsiveness. Classic Keith. “There’s something weird going around there, we’ll just check it out. Give us two minutes then we’re out.”
“Why do I even try, ” Pidge groans over the comms. Both of them ignore her. “Fucking red paladins.”
“Hey I’m back with Blue now,” Lance says. “Besides, Keith’s worse than me.” There’s a grunt, Lance grins; getting on Pidge’s nerves is too easy. He hears Keith chuckles.
They walk closer to the place where the druid and the Galra are standing; both of them have been practising together again (which is weird, but it oddly feels good. Lance forgot they had a good synergy with Keith leaving for the Blades).
(Keith's the one who insisted on practising. He barged into Lance's room with the offer, and Lance was too busy recovering from the shock to say anything bus yes.)
“Res’jebne.” The Galra looks furious. “Acq’la.”
“That means ‘answer me, now’,” Keith whispers, turning to Lance.
“We have translators, Keith.” Lance raises an eyebrow. And then, just because he’s a show off, “Plus I know how to speak Galran, chocias.”
(It means thank you.)
“You--,” Keith’s mouth falls open and Lance feels himself blushing, for reasons he refuses to think about. “Who taught you?”
“Allura and Coran, I guess.” He shrugs. “And Galras and Alteans write their books in a way that’s very pleasing for the ADHD brain, it helps me focus. So yeah, thought I’d do something useful since I don’t want to spend my time killing myself in the training room.”
Keith shoots him a flat look and Lance laughs under his breath.
“No anda nashi laqu dècoul,” the druid replies coldly. I have nothing to say to you.
“That means-”
“I know.”
“Right.”
“We know,” the Galra says. “That Haggar is using her alchemy against the Galra empire. Tell me what you know. You serve the Empire first and foremost.”
The druid doesn’t answer. “Tell me,” the Galra repeats. “Is Haggar conspiring against the Galra Empire? Has she been fiddling with the brains of commanders?”
“These are only rumours,” the druid finally retorts.
The Galra’s furious, she grabs the druid by the collar of their robe, “Haggar won’t be able to hide for long,” she snarls. “Whatever she’s planning, we’ll find it. We’ll destroy her. She’s no longer under Zarkon’s protection and stars know how many people want her head.”
She let go of her grasp, glaring at the druid one more time before walking away.
“What do you guys think that was?”
“No idea,” Lance answers, Keith looks as confused as he is. “But I….uh, might be able to do something about it. Pidge? Is the Galra Commander gone?”
“Yep. Hallway’s empty. You only have four doboshes left to get to the hangar though, so whatever you need to do, you gotta do it fast.”
He nods even though she can’t see him, “Yep, don’t worry.”
He’s read about the druids (there’s a lot to do when everyone’s busy doing something in the castle and he’s got no one to annoy); but this is still a lucky shot. It’ll only work if Haggar hasn’t changed their configuration since their creation (which, well, was 10 000 years ago, but hey, Lance’s still willing to take the risk).
He walks to the druid; taking a deep breath. They don’t respond immediately; probably analyzing if he’s an imminent threat or not. He clears his throat. “Shoci,” he says. “Avba bésona khadivice. Yumkin’pui bitakart dakhmémoi?”
There’s a couple of seconds that go by where the druid doesn’t move. Lance holds his breath, hands slowly going to his bayard and he can feel Keith, behind him, doing the same. But then the druid nods, “Yaticìon Ezordée.”
Permission granted . Lance sighs, relieved.
The druid’s mask falls, and a dark smoke surrounds them. When it vanishes, there’s a glowing blue square where the druid was standing: the hard disk. Lance grins, picking it up, “Too easy.”
“Where did you learn how to do that?” Keith asks, coming behind him. He’s retracted his claws, Lance almost mourns the loss. (Almost.)
And Lance could say that he’s read a paper about it, but he’s a show off and well, this is Keith, so he leans in, winks, “The Queen of Altea taught me.”
He's not sure if he imagines the way Keith's cheeks flush after that.
The Altean Archives
Druids, a tool to alchemy
By Melenore Conthik, Honerva Fiklmi, et akhr.
Summary of research: Creation of druids and how to use them.
Read more:
- Introduction
- Test
- Results
- Analysis
- Conclusion
Username?
Lance McClain
Salor Lance, add to your notes?
> Yes
About druids:
- built by dr melenore conthik (alluras mom (she was very pretty))
- only responds to altean command (any dialect in altea)
- can understand other languages IF language package downloaded (wish i could do that with my brain, no sé hablar fucking properly inglés sometimes) (not that i can speak spanish) (or creole) (mannnnn i know my dad’s gonna find my creole terrible once we get back)
- can perform light craniotomy (that’s a brain surgery (reminding myself cuz i’ll forget what it is)), cant reach deep brain structure like waragdale
- waragdale = responsible for fear, anger, disgust (in the human brain would be the amygdala but since i listened once every two months to fred’s bio class i had no idea)
- bet everyone’s waragagdale is super active in the castle
- the waragdale (and any emotion related brain structure) is more developed in the altean brain, specifically the alchemists, since emotion-alchemy communication is v important in alchemy
- is anything more developed in humans honestly
- man my mom would lose her shit over these files
- (so much information! read more leandro! curiosity will lead you to the end of the universe!)
- hm
- guess she was right
- man i miss my mom
- bet alteans don’t have garlic knots
- THEY DO????????????? CORAN JUST TOLD ME
- he thinks theirs are better than my moms
- just so he waits till we go back on earth
- altean galric knots gna gna gna
- ITS NOT EVEN GALRIC THE PLANT LOOKS HORRIBLE IT GROWS ON FUCKING PURPLE TREES IN ALTEA
ok hey came back for more:
- you can terminate a druid (and save the data), but need to request permission (only works if sentence is said in altean) “Shoci. Avba besona khadivice. Yumkin’pui bitakart dahkmémoi?” (Thank you, your services are no longer required. May I have the memory card?)
- info will be preserved on a hard disk, but only accessed through altean computer version ٨٦
- (ask coran or lura if we have them and ask pidge if ok to program or too old (hunk maybe can help making it work? idk)
mannnnnnnn i’m bored
gonna go bother hunk
brb
Log out?
“Lance!”
“Lance, ugh-- can you log out when you use the computer in the main room?-- Wait. Wait, wait, wai-- fuck. No. No, nononononononooooo-- He didn't save my last log. Fuck. FUCK. LANCE! Where is he? Where the fuck is Lance?"
“Pidge, please calm down.”
“Calm down? You’re not the one who had to code this, you don’t get to tell me to calm down. Lance? LANCE! I’m going to kill him.”
Allura
“Coran, are you sure all computers are stored here?” Allura asks, for the thousandth time in the last varga.
“Positive Princess!”
She groans, looking back at the pile of computers stashed in front of her with one of her deadliest glares (like it’ll change anything). They’ve been at it since morning, looking for the computer setha’swuit, since it is the only version that can support the hard disk of the druid Keith and Lance retrieved.
Of course, since nothing has been touched for 10,000 years (except for the occasional Hunk and Pidge visit, and the Lance wandering), the whole place is a maze.
“It would definitely help if we could get a clearer picture of the model,” Pidge says, staring at the holoscreen ash’ix , trying to figure out its general function (it was a very cool holoscreen— her dad had sent it to every school in Altea). There’s a piece of technology tangled in her hair, Allura leans down to take it off.
“I honestly forgot what it looks like,” Allura sighs, she presses the power button of the ash’ix, taking pity on Pidge. When it opens, her eyebrows shoot up and her mouth falls open. Allura chuckles, turning back to the pile. “Lance’s supposed to have something, though. He just needs to get here…”
“Don’t worry Princess,” Coran replies, climbing on a shelf (Allura’s not sure this is a good idea, but there’s no convincing him when he’s set to do something). “I have the memory of a dilamak, I just have to work my brain cells and I will be able to retrieve it.”
“What’s a dilamak?”
Allura sighs, “An animal on Altea with a very long term memory. It loses its memory when it grows older though. I think Coran forgot that detail.”
Pidge snickers, and Allura bites her lips to stop herself from laughing with her too. From the other side of the room, Coran shoots them a half-hearted glare. “I hear what you’re suggesting Allura and I do not agree!”
“Of course Coran,” Allura raises her hands in surrender, Pidge smiling as she does so. “You have the memory of a young dilamak.”
Lance, thank the Stars, finally walks in followed by Keith, Shiro and Hunk who seem to be in a heated conversation. Lance looks up, the corner of his mouth lifting when he sees Coran standing on a shelf, “Find anything yet?”
“No,” Allura sighs. “The place is a disaster, and I think I’ve lost hair.”
“You never should’ve told Allura that humans can lose hair due to stress, Hunk.”
“I think she’s using the expression accordingly,” he retorts, cutting himself from his talk with Shiro to give a high five to Allura (another Earth custom she learned). “You’re doing great Lura.”
“Hey what’s this?”
Allura turns around: Keith’s got an Altean sword in hand, examining the Blade with avid interest (because of course he is). Allura makes a mental note to show him the Altean guard’s armoury later (she keeps reminding herself, and keeps forgetting).
“A toy I used to play with as a child,” she answers.
“Toy?” Keith replies, amused. “A sword? ”
She rolls her eyes fondly, “I told you Alteans start practising very young. Your level of fighting was mediocre when you first came to the Castle.”
“Pretty sure Keith would’ve excelled as Altean royalty,” Lance teases, elbowing him. Keith shoots him a dirty look but everyone can see the shadow of a smile on his face. “I can definitely imagine mini Keith trying to fight everyone.”
“He did actually,” Shiro says.
“I did not. ”
“Uh huh.”
“Lance, my boy, do you remember what that computer is supposed to look like?” Coran interrupts. He’s covered in grease, his orange mustache turning a little grey.
“I thought you had the memory of a dilamak Coran,” Pidge raises an eyebrow.
“What’s a dilamak?” Hunk asks.
“An animal with a long term memory apparently.”
“I think it’s got a purple screen, Coran.” Lance answers, getting closer to him. “Hey, actually, it looks a lot like this one.”
“That’s version septash ,” he frowns, stepping down (finally) from the shelf.
Allura watches them; Lance seems to be the only one of them who actually understands what’s going on around here (guess all that wandering around the castle did help him). He takes out his datapad, logging in the Altean Archive. “Here,” Lance hands Coran his pad. “It looks like this.”
“Ah yes! I think it was stored somewhere here...”
“Lance!” Keith calls out, “Show me?”
He turns the datapad toward them, Keith nodding and starting to look with Allura. Eventually, Shiro and Hunk join them. Allura’s pretty sure Hunk was updating Shiro on the development of the clone cells (Shiro’s worried his health is going down because of the clone body they retrieved, but Kuron is doing fine so really, he’s got nothing to be worried about).
“Aha! ” Lance shouts from the other side of the room, brandishing the computer in his hand. “Version setha’swuit!”
“Well that was quite fast,” Allura raises an eyebrow. “Would’ve saved us a lot of time if you had actually come down when we asked you to .”
“Hey, at least I found it.”
“Never would’ve thought Lance wasting time by going through the Archives would bring us this far,” Pidge says, still fixed on the ash’ix holoscreen. “Hey Lance! Can you check if the power button is in the middle? These computers have the funniest model…”
Lance starts reading the Altean Archives like he starts most things: he’s bored, and trying to get in people’s way.
Keith is usually the one he pesters, but when it happens, he’s gone with the Blades and Lance is the last one to admit it, but something about him changes when Keith’s gone: he looks over his shoulder with a smirk, only for it to fall when he finds Allura. He still smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
So when Keith leaves, Lance tries to fill an absence— and he finds a lot of ways to lose time (too many, if you ask Allura). That’s how he ends up stumbling on her, in the library, reading an old paper her mother wrote and annotated, barely able to go through with it.
“Allura?” He says, hesitant.
Her head shoots up, a practised smile appearing on her face. “Yes Lance?”
He raises an eyebrow, clearly not believing the smile she’s trying to put off and looks down to her hands. “What are you reading?”
“Oh nothing important,” she laughs. Her voice cracks. “Just an old paper my mother wrote.”
“Nice,” he takes a step toward her. “Mind if I take a look?”
There’s nothing accusing in his tone: he’s just curious. But Allura was already on the edge and the minute she opens her mouth, the tears start falling. It’s ridiculous, it’s just a question and she’s crying. She looks away; stars, this is embarrassing.
“Allura are you oka— Woah , woah, woah, hey! Hey.” Lance is immediately standing in front of her, putting one hand on her shoulder, the other wiping away the tears that are starting to fall. “Lura, hey, it’s okay.” She can’t stop the tears, they’re streaming down her cheeks, burning. “You’re okay, hey, breathe. Breathe with me Allura.”
“I’m a horrible person,” she whispers. “I used...I knew Haggar and I told no one,” she keeps crying, Lance is rubbing her back. “She was my mentor, Lance. I knew the papers were stashed here- I knew we could’ve used the Altean Archives but I never— I didn’t want to look and I’m…I’m horrible. ”
“Hey, hey. Shh, it’s okay.” Lance’s hand is on the top of her head, gently playing with her hair. “It’s okay. You’re not a horrible person, Allura. You’re human. Well- uh, Altean. Yeah, never mind that expression won’t work. But uh, basically it’s okay. Because you’re like other people, y’know?”
She let go of his embrace, the tears slowly drying on her cheeks, Lance is smiling. “You have the oddest sayings,” she frowns. “And I’m the princess of Altea, I’m not like other people.”
“Right.” He bites the inside of his cheek. “Right, right. Hm, language, am I right? Can’t even explain sayings from Spanish to English, now I gotta explain them from English to Altean. And I thought defeating Zarkon was hard.”
It’s a horrible joke. It’s definitely to make her laugh, and she finds it stupid but she can’t help it, she does. She starts laughing, and it’s awful-- she’s always hated her laugh. She sounds like these animals back in Altea; the ones her father used to keep as pets (it made her mother crazy, they’d leave all their hair on the floor).
“Not to be rude or anything, Lura.” Lance says. He’s smirking. “But you sound like a horse.”
She stops, head tilting. “What’s a horse?”
“Right,” his smile immediately falls. “Hablo espanol, creol, inglés and now it doesn’t fucking matter. Ve a la escuela del sabado, Leandro! Es importante! Yeah, my fucking ass,” he mumbles under his breath. Allura raises an eyebrow, clearly confused. Lance sighs, “Nothing important.”
Lance ends up reading the research for her.
(He doesn’t say he’ll do it, he just randomly asks Allura where he can read the stuff she was looking for.
“Don’t worry about it,” he shrugs. “I’ll tell you if there’s anything important. Go do your diplomatic business and all that. I gotta keep myself occupied anyways.”
He makes it sound like it’s silly, like it’s nothing.
It’s everything.)
The Altean Archives
Logged in as: Lance McClain
The Altean Daily
Issue of ٣’4 movement of Tan’ory
Is Honerva Fiklmi, Altean alchemist and Galra Queen, leading alchemists to their death?
By Coréanne Sahalist
A student under Honerva’s care, Morro Ostranaha (from the country Cora’ak, in Altea), has been non responsive for a week after having wrongly performed an alchemy maneuver.
Dr Conthik (also known as Queen Melenor) refuses to give details but a source from inside the laboratory tells us that Morro had been corrupted and overdosed on quintessence. Multiple brain parts have been damaged; notably the hyphtomalka, and the waragdala (the main brain parts responsible for emotions, and alchemy).
Should we continue studying under Honerva’s laboratory? Multiple scientists think her studies often go too far... is it the time to finally stop?
And finally: is it safe to leave the future heir of the throne, Allura Ryna Lei Conthik-Dakhir, under her care?
Log out?
Lance
It takes a lot of fumbling to make the computer work— mostly consisting of Allura and Coran trying to remember its functions, assisted by Hunk and Pidge throwing guesses with Keith, Shiro and Lance as the cheering crew. When they finally figure it out, the hard disk of the druid slides in with no problem, a handful of videos of Haggar appearing on the holoscreen.
The recordings each have their titles in Altean. Lance skims through it at the same time as Allura and stills, when he reaches the tenth file.
E’TUL ALLURA W EKHOLER ALKEMIA
Her breath hitches and Lance tries to find something reassuring but the words fail him-- he knows that Haggar was important, somehow, to Allura so reading this…
“Allura? You okay?” He tries, tentatively.
Coran’s complexion gone paler, looking at Allura and the screen like it’s her doom (which, well, maybe it is). Pidge frowns, eyes flying to the three of them, before clicking on the ship's translator.
Killing Allura and stealing her alchemy.
“Oh.”
Pidge looks over to Allura, hesitantly putting a hand on her shoulder. Shiro’s glaring at the screen, like he’ll personally kill Haggar with his bare hands (which is, honestly, starting to seem like a viable option).
“Okay,” he says. “Nothing’s going to happen to Allura, team. We’re going to figure out her plan, and bring her down before she has the time to even think about touching Allura’s hair.”
“Seconded, captain.”
“Thank you, Lance.” Shiro smiles. He turns to Allura, “Hey, you’re not alone in this, Princess.”
“Yes,” she nods. “Yes, of course not.” Lance looks down to her hands— she’s shaking.
He acts before he can think too much about it, rushing to her and wrapping her in a hug. Pidge follows, then Hunk, Coran, Shiro and a (not so much, mostly pretending) reluctant Keith.
“Okay, okay,” she laughs, blinking a couple of times, she brings her hands to her face, wiping out the tears. “Let’s watch this and get it over with.”
“Yeah,” Shiro nods. “Yeah, good idea.”
Pidge shoots Allura one last look before clicking play. Haggar appears, standing in the middle of the laboratory surrounded by druids. Shiro’s body goes stiff, the environment probably looking familiar; Keith notices— squeezing his shoulder to reassure him. Lance ignores the fond feeling that spreads in his chest. Nope. Not thinking about this.
“10th log, Killing Allura and stealing her Alchemy,” Haggar says. “This is Honerva speaking.”
Allura freezes.
Honerva?
Allura
Allura always assumed Haggar had forgotten her past. That she didn’t remember who Allura was to her. She assumed it was the reason why she was doing everything in her power to hurt Allura and Voltron. She thought the person she used to know was dead— gone, vanished.
But Haggar’s calling herself the name she used to have back in Altea. So she must remember, at least a part of it.
(And she still wants to kill her.)
“I spread an entity in the brain of all the Galra Commanders; this entity is supposed to weaken them, and absorb all the quintessence they’ve stolen and used to survive, directly transmitting it to me. This amount of quintessence, alongside the quintessence I’ll have stolen from Allura will be enough to change dimension.”
She moves to her board, where a thousand of alchemy equations are written on the board. “I’ll lure Allura into the seventh dimension— she’ll come. Alfor ruined that child with expectations, she thinks she needs to save everyone. She’ll try to destroy the entity, and kill me in the process— which could be a problem if she succeeds, but with all the quintessence I’ll have gathered, the chances are very low.”
The words resonate in her brain, Alfor ruined that child with expectations. The word echoes in her brain, Ruined. Ruined that child.
“She was like a mother to me,” she says. She doesn’t realize she’s speaking out loud until she hears herself. “And now she…” The tears are reappearing, Pidge immediately pausing the video. Allura wants to tell her that it’s okay, that it’ll pass but the words sit heavy on her tongue. How could she? Didn’t Allura matter to her? At least a little? “How could she want to kill me?”
“I think she’s selecting her memory,” Hunk says softly. “She’s remembering what she wants, and probably forcing herself to forget any connection she had to you.”
“Hunk’s right princess,” Coran adds, just as kindly. “Her goal must be clear in her mind, and remembering you could possibly damage how she wishes to proceed.”
She nods, of course. Nods again. Keeps nodding. She needs to stop crying, this is getting ridiculous. She had all the time for the tears when she woke up. She needs to stop. Stop.
“Allura, hey, listen to me.”
She looks up, Lance is sitting down next to her, taking her hand in his. “It’s okay to be sad, and angry you know right?” He puts his other arm around her. “And we’re your family now. You can count on us. We love you. A lot more than you think.”
She closes her eyes, breathes in. She’s okay. She’s okay . More than okay. She’s—
“When Kuron was, uh— possessed,” Keith clears his throat. “Well possessed, more like mind controlled— anyways, you know what I’m talking about. When I had to fight him, I had..I didn’t want to believe that Shiro was gone.”
The whole team’s staring at Keith trying (and failing) to hide their surprise. Keith never talks about it. Keith never talks about anything.
“And I was ready to die, y’know?” Allura feels Lance tensing next to her and gives a gentle squeeze to the hand that’s resting in hers. “I didn’t think there was anyone left for me here.”
Keith shuts his eyes, taking a deep breath. “But I was wrong. And if I had remembered that when we were fighting— maybe..maybe it would’ve been easier. You’re not alone, Allura. Lance’s right. We’re…we’re with you. Whatever happens.”
“This is the most I’ve heard you talk,” Pidge says. Her eyes are glossy but there’s no way Allura’s pointing that out. “And it was the sweetest thing I’ve heard in my life.”
Keith laughs, looking away, clearly embarrassed. Allura takes a look at Shiro who’s, yeah, understandably enough, very close to actual crying.
“Well we really are a mess today aren’t we,” Lance laughs. “By the end of this, I’m betting everyone will be crying.”
“Dude everyone is already crying,” Hunk sniffles. He’s looking at Keith annnd….
“No, nooooo , Hunk, I’m fine.” Keith groans, rolling his eyes when Hunk picks him up to take him in his arms. His cheeks are flaming red, Allura bites back a laugh (she knew it’d happen, Hunk is a hug machine).
“What do you mean fine, ” Hunk retorts, almost offended. “You never talk, I’m pretty sure your body was trying to reject every word coming out of your mouth. You need a hug, buddy.”
“Okay,” he laughs. Allura looks over to Lance, and he looks so fond, Allura resists the urge to make him stand up to hug Keith too (she knows him well enough by now to know he’ll refuse categorically— Stars help Lance and his ego). “Shiro, fuck— stop crying and come here, I’ll hug you too.”
“Hey,” Lance whispers, finally turning to her. “What’s the seventh dimension again? The place where Haggar wants to lure you?”
“It’s a place where we practise Alchemy,” she tells him. Pidge comes and sits next to them, “It’s the easiest place to steal quintessence, and if you kill an Alchemist there, there’s no way to revive them.”
“So if you kill Honerva there…”
“She’s gone for good,” Allura nods.
“Okay,” he hums. “Alright.”
“Okay hey guys?” Pidge looks over to Shiro, Keith and Hunk; Keith looks relieved by the saving. “Not to interrupt or anything, but we should probably finish the log, just to see what Haggar’s planning exactly.”
“Very good idea Pidge,” Keith exclaims, Lance snickers beside Allura.
Pidge presses play on the video again where Honerva is still standing in front of her board. “With all the quintessence I’ll have, no matter how strong Allura will be, she won’t be able to fight me. She needs another alchemist with her, and I honestly doubt she trusts any paladin enough to do the Alwakia ceremony.”
Allura stills while Lance frowns, raising an eyebrow. The Alwakia ceremony. He’s probably read about it.
“I’ll kill Allura, steal her quintessence, destroy this reality and travel to one where everything is okay,” she finally says. She takes a deep breath. “And then I’ll have my son back. No one will ever be able to take him away from me.”
Oh.
Oh.
The Altean Archives
Logged in as: Lance McClain
Recent read:
The Alwakia Ceremony
by Allura Ryna-Lei Conthik Dakhir
The Alwakia is a tattoo-giving ceremony which resembles slightly the Alwaje (the alwaje is usually celebrated with the Galras, read more about it here ). The Alwakia is when an Altean Alchemist (the giver) shares with a non-Altean (the receiver) their alchemy.
The receiver is tattooed first— on the forearms, the cheekbones, and the neck. These tattoos are done with an alwa and a special kind of ink, the habzraq , which is able to support alchemy. After being given the tattoo, the giver (the altean) fills the receiver’s tattoos with alchemy.
The Alwakia cannot be done with anyone; the non altean and altean have to fully trust each other, and need to share a deep, and profound bond. It has not been done often, only a hundred alchemists have been able to perform this maneuver, including Honerva Fiklmi.
Salor Lance, this is your notes:
- im supposed to believe alchemy is NOT magic???????????????????
- HOW IS THAT A SCIENCE
- anyways should probably be reading something else i don’t think anyones receiving the alwakia anytime soon…
- (but also what the fuck)
Lance
“Allura, listen I know I’ve got my qualities and all, but I’m not sure why I’m the one doing the Alwakia with you it’s not— I dunno, it doesn’t seem like a very smart decision. I'm great, sure, but I’m not that great.”
“Stop questioning my decisions, Lance.” Allura retorts, not even sparing Lance a glance. “I’m not coming back on it.”
“But it’s—,” Of all people, why would Allura trust him more than the rest of the paladins? That’s nonsense. “Shiro is more— uh, reliable than me.”
“It’s not about reliability, Lance.” Shiro smiles. He was the first on board with the idea (Pidge’s first comment after she understood what the Alwakia ceremony required was ‘how come Lance get to be an alien and I don’t? ’ which, honestly, if you ask Lance, is a very good question). “It’s a bond. Friendship. Mutual understanding of both parties.”
“That applies to anyone in this team, Shiro.” Lance raises an eyebrow. “I could give an Alwakia to Keith if we went with that kind of logic.”
(Stupid argument. He would obviously give an Alwakia to Keith if he could. Why did he say that?)
“Of course you’d give an Alwakia to Keith,” Hunk adds, unhelpfully. Lance shoots him a glare while Keith looks over to Hunk, perplexed. Lance makes a mental note to murder his best friend later.
“Listen, Lance.” Allura says. “It might’ve been just to lose time, but you’re probably the person who knows most about Altea after me and Coran. You read the Altean Archives, you’re the reason why we are here right now.” She groans, “You do tend to fool around a lot, and sometimes I do feel like I will lose hair if—”
“I genuinely can’t believe that out of all the Earth expressions, this is the one you chose to retain.”
“Lance.”
“Okay, okay, sorry. Continue.”
“Thank you,” she crosses her arm on her chest. “Even though sometimes you are an impossible force to deal with, you still are a very good listener. And you’re here for us, no matter what. I think you underestimate the importance of that.”
“I mean, you had to be Keith’s right hand when he piloted Black,” Shiro grins. “Stars know that couldn’t have been easy.”
“Thank you for the vote of confidence Shiro,” Keith rolls his eyes and Shiro ruffles his hair, laughing. He pushes Shiro away, looking up to Lance. “But he’s right, Lance. We couldn’t have done it without you. You had my back, and I'm forever grateful for that.”
There’s a faint tint of pink that’s colouring Keith’s cheeks, and Lance feels himself mirroring the expression, looking away. “Thanks,” he mutters. “I guess.”
“You pay attention to details, buddy.” Hunk says. “You helped me a lot in school dealing with my anxiety, and just— covering up for me. Or Pidge.”
“That’s true,” Pidge adds. “And even though I would love to fuck around with alchemy, I agree with them. You’re a good choice for this. And…I’m not surprised Allura would go along with you.”
“Okay! Alright, woah, no need to sugarcoat me with compliments, I’ll do it.” He rolls his eyes, hoping it’ll somehow hide how embarrassed he currently is (spoiler alert: it does not). “Jeez.”
“Oh? Is that all it took Lance? A little bit of praise?” Keith smirks. “I would’ve done this a lot sooner then.”
“Oh shut up, Keith.” Lance groans.
“So!” Hunk exclaims, probably trying to save Lance from his tomato-face-fest. “How are we going to proceed?”
Shiro smiles, a wolfish kind of grin. “I’m glad you asked, Hunk. I’ve got a terrific plan.”
Allura
Shiro’s plan is, admittedly enough, genius.
(She’d be lost without Shiro, there’s no telling how thankful she is that he landed here, at the castle. He’s helped her, believed in her more than— well, more than a lot of people did back in Altea.)
Shiro’s plan goes like this:
The entity— which Allura will destroy when killing Haggar in the seventh dimension, is spread in every Galra commander brains’ who's stolen a great amount of quintessence so, all of the high ranked ones. When Allura kills Haggar, they will inevitably go down too: the entity being destroyed and thus, killing them.
This means that a lot of heavily guarded Galra quarters will be weakened, and it will be the right moment to strike.
Shiro, alongside Keith, will guide the Coalition, the Blades and the Rebels through all these sectors (they’ll take Sendak’s), while Lance, Pidge and Hunk will make sure Allura remains alive when trying to kill Haggar in the seventh dimension. When Haggar is killed, they’ll immediately invade the ship.
The Galra Empire will fall then.
“Wait,” Hunk frowns. “How come the entity will kill the Galras when it gets destroyed?”
“It’s what’s keeping them alive,” Shiro explains. “I’ve watched some other logs, and apparently the entity is transferring the quintessence to Haggar, so there is still a part of it in the Galras brains. But when it gets destroyed, it will get destroyed everywhere. Meaning, it’ll kill the Galras. From inside. Y’know, a bit like cancer actually. But quicker.”
“Probably going to be a very painful death,” Pidge adds, a mouthful of goo in her mouth.
“This…” Hunk says. “Sounds too good to be true.”
“It absolutely doesn’t,” Allura sits down, worriedly biting her bottom lip. “If I fail, this means we’ll have asked all these people to move in spaces where there could be imminent danger. It’ll cause thousands of deaths. I cannot fail.”
“And you won’t,” Shiro says. He puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “You’re a great alchemist, and Lance will make sure that your quintessence isn’t…taken, or stolen by Haggar.”
“Yeah about that,” Lance scrunches up his nose. “How exactly am I going to do it?”
“Through a craniotomy,” Allura explains. “Coran will open up two holes in my brain that’ll create a pathway to the hyphtomalka.”
“The place where the Alchemist absorbs quintessence, right?” Lance sustains. “Pretty sure I read about it.”
She nods, “Yes. You’ll have to dig your fingers in the two holes made in my skull— and stretch the brain structure.”
“Stretch….” Lance’s mouth falls open, he looks horrified. “Stretch the brain structure? Dig….my fingers ….in your skull?”
“It sounds scarier than it is,” She says quickly. “Really, Lance, trust me. You’ll do great.”
“Great,” he repeats. “I have…never manipulated quintessence before Allura.”
“And you will soon! After the ceremony.” She smiles tentatively.
“O....kay.”
“We’ll practise together after the meeting with the Coalition and Rebels,” she says. “Don’t worry, you’ll be an expert by tomorrow.”
“Oh by the way, who’s going to tattoo Lance?” Hunk asks.
“I have no idea,” Allura sighs. “Between all the meetings, and the practise and then the ceremony, and all of this by tomorrow…I don’t know how I’ll find a moment. I would…ask Coran to do it but he’s uh— not very talented in that area.”
“It's true,” Coran says solemnly. “Alfor had an awful tattoo on his back because of me.”
“Oh but he always said it wasn’t that bad!” Allura retorts.
“It was because he couldn’t see it, Princess.”
“Well,” she bites her lips. “That may be true.”
“I could do it,” Keith interrupts. She turns to him, surprised, he’s blushing furiously; doing everything to avoid Lance’s gaze (who’s gaping).
“Really?” Allura tilts her head. “You’ve learned?”
“I’ve performed the Alwajes on Thyo,” he explains. “The red-purple Blade?”
“The one with the long horns?” Allura’s eyebrows shoot up when Keith nods. “Your work is incredible!” She exclaims, forgetting for a moment what all of this is really about. “What drawing technique do you use?”
“Orsmé, but I use an Altean Alwa,” he replies, beaming. "It’s uh, a sort of tattoo gun? But it’s traditional," he explains to the rest of the team.
“That’s genius,” she mutters, remembering her own time getting the Alwajes (she’d had gotten them with Zarkon’s young nephews; doing it with a traditional Galran alwa— their drawing technique had been great though, it’s one of her favourite tattoo (oddly enough)). “I can’t believe I never thought of that.”
“Uh,” Lance interrupts. “I am absolutely not getting tattooed by Keith.”
“What?” She looks up, frowning. “Why not?”
“Why— why not? ” He shrieks. “This is on my body and my face forever!” He exclaims, pointing to his cheekbones. “Why would I trust Keith of all people to draw something on my face permanently! ”
“Hey! I’m good!”
Allura gives Lance a flat look, raising an eyebrow. “You are getting tattooed by Keith.”
He crosses his arm on his chest, raising his chin. “No.”
Lance
“Dude— Owch! ”
“You know this would be a lot easier if you could stay still . ”
“I’m trying but you’re not—”
“Stop. Talking.”
Silence.
“Owch— Keith! Watch it dude, that ow— hurt! ” Lance recoils, for maybe the twelfth time in the last minute.
Keith groans, rolling his eyes, the alwa still in hands. “Well if you actually tried to stand still maybe it wouldn’t hurt that much.”
“What do you know!”
“I told you I’ve already done this!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Lance mutters. “Whatever.”
Keith finishes the mark on his neck, this time moving to his cheekbones. He raises his alwa, glaring at Lance. “Don’t move.”
He leans in, applying the alwa on his cheekbone and Lance finally stills (it’s a lot easier when he can gaze in Keith’s iris, but he’s not telling him that). They’re silent as Keith traces the mark, the only sound is the faint scratch of the alwa on Lance's skin.
Maybe it’s because it’s been quiet for too long that Lance finally speaks: the question has been burning his tongue ever since this morning, he clears his throat. “Do you still want to die?”
Keith stops tracing, lowering the alwa. He frowns, mouth opening, “I..is this about what I said earlier?”
“Yeah I guess,” Lance shrugs, turning his head completely to avoid Keith’s eyes. “Also about that stupid sacrifice you pulled at Naxzela.”
“Oh,” Keith’s voice seems to break a little. Lance still doesn’t look at him. “I, uh, didn’t know you knew about that.”
“Yeah,” Lance says flatly. “Well I do.”
There’s a long, pregnant pause that passes where Lance wonders if Keith is just going to ignore him and get back to work and well, he can’t have that. Won’t let him have it.
“Keith?”
“I don’t,” Keith finally answers, looking up to Lance. Their eyes meet and Lance feels a pool of heat spreading in his chest; he ignores it. “I know my place’s important here. I know— I know that losing me would hurt you guys. But…”
There’s a finality between Keith’s eyes, it makes Lance want to kiss him. No. Nope. “I would do it again. If your life was in danger, if the life of someone on the team was in danger, I’d do it again.”
And Lance wants to blame him, wants to shout, grab him by his collar and shake him no, no you can’t say that, stop, I need you to stay alive but he knows he’s not better so he bites his lip, looking away. “Okay.”
“I know that you died,” Keith says. Lance raises his head, heart hammering in his chest; Keith’s eyes are glossy. “I know I don’t have the right to be mad because I did something similar but—”
Keith’s fingers are shaking, he puts down the alwa; taking a deep breath. “You know,” his voice cracks, Lance wants to hold him. “You know you’re important for the team too, right?”
“Yeah,” Lance says softly. “I know.”
“Okay,” he nods. “I’m, uh, also sorry I left for the Blades and didn’t stay in contact.”
“What?” Lance pulls back, frowning. “Why are you apologizing?”
“Oh- um,” Keith scratches his head. “Kuron might’ve…told me that you were lonely?”
“Oh,” Lance feels himself blushing. “Well, yeah, guess I was. Never would’ve been a fake non-Altean Alchemist if you hadn’t gone though so— uh, it’s not that bad, right?”
“Yeah,” Keith says. He turns to meet Lance’s eyes. Glossy eyes, bloodshot eyes, beautiful eyes. “I guess.”
“I missed you,” he says, voice quiet. “A lot.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Keith clears his throat, speaking even lower than Lance somehow, “Me too.”
He doesn’t think either of them sees the moment coming— but one minute he’s watching Keith’s lips and the next he’s crashing onto them, putting both his hands on his cheeks like he’s scared he’ll vanish. Keith’s hands find their place in Lance’s hair, pulling on the strand and trying to bring Lance closer to him.
Lance loves him. He loves him so much it hurts; it aches, it haunts him. He wants him close forever. He wants to be close forever.
He’s not sure how long they stay like this, stealing kisses from each other but Keith finally lets go, cheeks flushed red, taking back the alwa in his hand. “I, uh, should probably finish.”
“Yeah,” Lance laughs. “Good idea.”
Allura
“Everyone’s in position,” Shiro tells her the next day. They did the Alwakia yesterday, Lance received the Altean Marks (he truly wears them well) and is currently running tests with Pidge, Hunk and Coran while Allura, Shiro and Keith go over the details of the plan again.
“I feel like this is too fast,” she murmurs. “What if Haggar knows we’re coming? What if she was planning it all?”
“Even if she did,” Keith says. There’s a love bite on his neck neither she or Shiro have commented on (she cannot possibly believe either him or Lance have admitted their feelings to each other; she can, however, believe that they’ve been sleeping together and calling it stress relief. Or whatever dumb reasons humans find these days). “We still have to do it.”
Shiro nods, putting a hand on Allura’ shoulder. “Whatever happens, Allura, we’re here with you. You’re strong, stronger than you believe. If we’ve come so far, it’s only because of you.”
“I mean you had to deal with me and Lance's bickering while Shiro was gone,” Keith smirks. “You definitely can handle anything.”
She smiles, despite herself. “I suppose so.” The memories flow back in her mind; they were a hard pair to deal with; she felt as if they’d never get over their stupid banters. “You’ve come far.”
“And so have you,” Shiro says. “You’ve opened yourself to us, dealt with grief while having the weight of saving the universe on your shoulder. You can be proud of yourself, Allura.”
“I guess so,” she smiles again, this time feeling better about it. “Thank you Shiro.”
The rest of the team joins them a varga later in the hangar, where Shiro and Keith are readying themselves to leave. Lance lingers in Keith’s arm for a tick longer; when they finally let go of each, the look they share feels heavy in something— something like love, maybe.
Allura bites back her smile, she’s happy for them.
Lance
“Oh God— Oh my god, oh— that’s a lot of blood.”
Hunk’s complexion is turning green as Coran carves the two holes in Allura’s skull to make a free passage for Lance to be able to stretch on the brain structure and hold the quintessence. Lance’s practised the movement yesterday with Allura and she was right: it is pretty easy. He’s gotten the hang of it.
(It is crazy though. Completely fucking crazy. He couldn’t even feel quintessence around him yesterday, now he’s supposed to save the universe controlling it inside Allura’s fucking brain.)
“You’re gonna be okay, Hunk.” Pidge says (unhelpfully) from the other side of the room. “Vital signals are stable, Coran.”
“Thank you, Pidge.” Coran says. “The two holes have been created at the base of the skull. Hunk, my boy, can you take the drill from my hands?”
Coran raises the drill, the blood dripping on the ground and Lance swears that Hunk is two minutes before passing out. He takes the drill anyways, mumbling under his breath. “This is why I went into engineering. But I’m still in a fucking medical room— go fucking figure.”
Pidge snorts.
“Not funny Pidge!”
“Cutting an outline in the bones right now,” Coran interrupts. He’s frowning, eyes fixed on Allura’s skull. Lance’s rarely seen him so focused. “How is the blood flow, Pidge?”
“Perfect,” she answers. “You can go on.”
Coran removes the two bone parts of Allura’s brain, setting them aside. “Opening the passage toward the hyphtomalka right now. Lance, please ready yourself.”
“Born ready,” he says, placing himself behind Coran. Coran turns, with a kind smile on his face but Lance can clearly distinct the fear behind his eyes. They’re all scared for Allura— but Coran’s terrified.
The passage is opened, Coran immediately pulling out as Lance’s fingers find their way in the two dent Coran created. He immediately starts stretching the brain structure, holding on the quintessence.
Allura’s altean marks start glowing, Coran’s breath hitches.
“She’s in.”
Allura
Allura’s eyes fall open in Altea.
She raises her hand to feel the quintessence around her; and yes: she is in the seventh dimension, close to Haggar’s quintessence. Clearly, Haggar’s changed the environment: the gardens of the castle appear before her and she can hear, faintly, nayute (an altean flute) playing.
“I knew you’d come.”
The voice echoes, and Allura feels the shivers creep down her back. She turns, looking for Haggar but there’s no one. The sound of the nayute is louder, the smell of juneberries stronger, she can hear conversations in Altean— in four different dialects around her. Everything’s dizzy.
Everything feels so real.
Too real.
There’s a laugh; it’s distinctive from the rest of the chatter. It’s cruel— mocking. Allura’s blood boils. “Come out, Haggar.” She says, voice angry. “Your games won’t work on me.”
“Games?” She can hear the smile in her voice. “Allura, aibak, I’m not playing games.”
She grits her teeth, clenching her fist. “Why are we in Altea then?”
“Because I miss it,” Haggar replies. Allura sees her then, walking toward her. The same long, thick, violet hair she used to have; the same golden eyes. As if nothing’s changed. She freezes. What? “Don’t you?”
There’s three Alteans that pass right by them, one of them saluting Allura with a smile. She recognizes them— they used to help her sew her robes. “This isn’t real,” she glares. “You cannot fool me.”
“Of course it isn’t,” Haggar says. “Her eyes have turned darker, the anger blatant on her face. “Because they took it from us. Don’t you want it back? Don’t we deserve it?”
Doesn’t she?
The smell is overwhelming— the sound too loud; there’s a voice in the background. It sounds like her father; the same accent, the same way of rolling his r.
“Don’t you deserve to live with your own family? Without the pain of war?”
Doesn’t she? Hasn’t she been through enough? Isn’t all the pain she’s lived through enough? Why did it all fall on her?
“They took everything from you, Allura. From us.” Haggar tells her. She takes a couple of steps closer, so they’re eye to eye. “We deserve to have it back.”
“Allura? Wh— Pidge! Pidge, what’s..what’s happening?”
Haggar stills, her eyes widening. “You found someone,” she says, surprised. “Someone to share your alchemy with.”
Allura doesn’t register what she’s saying; her mind’s still dizzy, fuzzy with memories, people she buried, people she didn’t want to remember. “It doesn’t matter,” Haggar whispers. “I have you.”
“I don’t know— her hyphtomalka is crazy active! It’s like she— like her memories are being forced on her.”
“Think about it,” Haggar continues. Her hand palms her cheek, wiping away tears Allura hadn’t realized she had. “Think about how happy you would be. Don’t you want your family back?”
She leans down toward her, caressing her cheek. “Remember Izara?”
Izara.
“C’mon Lura, don’t give up on me here—”
There’s somewhere, somewhere far a memory that comes back. It burns her heart, makes her fingers tremble. Kisses, thousand of them. Behind the garden, between an audience with the Queen and a walk to the laboratory. Dark brown eyes, shining with amusement, kissing Allura deep, kissing her and making her forget her name.
Of course she remembers Izara.
“She probably died a terrible death,” Haggar whispers.
Izara would kiss her everywhere-- she’d never get enough. She’d get drunk on kisses; on her chin, her eyelids, her nose. She’d bite her neck, her ear, she'd graze her altean marks with her lips, it’d feel like the purest form of quintessence.
“You taste like juniberry,” she’d say between two kisses. “How do you always taste like juniberry? ”
“She listened to all your stories,” Honerva says. Her voice is soft, kind, gentle. The memory is burning Allura inside out. “I remember. She’d wait for you outside my laboratory.”
Izara was buried in Allura’s mind somewhere deep. Somewhere she wasn’t supposed to come back. Izara and her soft kisses, Izara and her laugh. She’d sound like Allura’s favourite instruments, she’d taste like her favourite fruit. Izara would kiss her stupid, “You’re illegal, Allura Ryna Lei.” She’d kiss her mouth, taste her tongue. “Illegal.”
“How” — another kiss — “Am I illegal?”
“Mhm,”— kisses, kisses, kisses. — “Too pretty. Too smart. Too kind. The universe doesn’t deserve you.”
That’d earn her a laugh from Allura, she’d push her back, remove a hair falling on her face. “Then you should hide me.”
Izara’s eyes would darken, something sad growing in her eyes. “I would, Lei.” She’d palm both of her cheeks, look at her like she was her universe. “If I knew it wouldn’t kill you, I’d hide you in a corner of the universe no one would know about. You give too much Allura. When--”
“When are you going to let yourself have something?” Honerva finishes. “Don’t you miss her? She would’ve made a wonderful queen. Such a beautiful girl too.”
“We’re losing her. I don’t know what’s happening we’re—”
She was. She was beautiful. Allura would stare at her all the time.
Brown, curly hair and round hips. Soft, long legs, plush lips and dark brown skin with beautiful purple Altean marks. She’d wear her hair in braids, and would let Allura braid them for her.
“I love you,” — another kiss, always so many kisses — “I love you so much, I feel like I’ll collapse sometimes. I’m not sure where I’m supposed to store it, I don’t know where to put it.”
“You haven’t thought about her in so long, I can tell.” Honerva says, voice quiet and gentle. “I don’t blame you aibak.”
“Keep holding on, Lance. You’re doing great buddy.”
“I— She’s slipping guys I don’t—” Pause. “C’mon Lura, please.”
Everything inside her aches, it burns. It spreads out in her chest-- there’s a hole instead of her heart, and it’s swallowing her whole. She’s drowning, she’s trying to reach for someone who’s gone. Izara. Izara, Izara, Izara. She loved her— loved her so much, she didn’t know her body could hold all that love, didn’t understand how the place in her chest kept getting filled. Love, love, love. More love. It always felt like too much, it would never stop.
“She probably burned alive,” Honerva whispers. “By herself.”
No. No, no, no, no. Please. Please.
“Guys what the hell.”
“Don’t you want to see her again?”
She looks up; the tears are blinding her vision, she feels her heart shattering. Everything inside her is so empty. There’s a hole inside her chest; she can't breathe. Can't move. Can't do anything. Doesn’t she deserve it?
“She’ll be here,” she says. Allura’s exhausted— like her life’s being sucked out of her. Here. She wants her to be here.
“I love you.”
“Lei, Lei, Lei, I love you.”
“Come with me, Allura.” A pull. Something inside her leaves. “Give in, Allura. Give in .”
Lance
“Allura’s quintessence is getting absorbed," he's full on panicking now. He’s shaking, his hands are drenched in blood, trying and failing to contain all the quintessence in the same space. It’s slipping through his very fingers, going straight to Haggar. Fuelling her. Killing Allura. “I— fuck, Allura, what is she doing to you?”
He’s tired, he’s fucking exhausted. This is taking too much. Way too much. He closes his eyes once more, tries to focus all his energy but there’s nothing. He opens them back, eyes meeting Coran.
Oh.
Oh right.
“The transfusion,” he says.
Coran
THREE VARGAS PRIOR THE OPERATION
It’s selfish.
There’s no other way to put it-- it’s the selfishiest thing he’s done, and he might be putting the entire universe in jeopardy but he doesn’t care. He knows Allura will have his head if she knows what he’s doing, but there’s no way he’s letting it go. He can’t afford to let her die, not after everything she’s lost.
She deserves to live.
So he takes the paladins aside when Allura isn’t looking, back to the observatory. The paladins are all standing in front of him, quietly waiting. He clears his throat. Back in Altea, he used to give great speeches. He thinks about these times, tries to summon his courage. His good voice.
“What Allura is going to do is extremely hard,” he starts. “It’s going to require a lot of her quintessence, more than she has maybe, and it could lead to her death.”
The paladins are silent, all watching him. He doesn’t know if they suspect something— if maybe they know where this is going but no emotions travel their faces. They’ve become soldiers, and it breaks Coran’s heart a little.
“I would like you to give me some of your quintessence; in case she gives out,” he says. He clears his throat again, looking all of them in the eye. “It will weaken you, especially since you’re human and it might be counter productive but I can’t afford to lose Allura. The universe can’t afford it. And she deserves to be first. She’s sacrificed so much.”
Coran doesn’t have to convince anyone. They don’t even take a tick to decide or consult each other. Lance’s the first one to speak up. He doesn’t even look slightly bothered. “Sure. Where do we do the transfusion?”
“Y’know, I’m betting Pidge is going to faint.” Hunk says. “Remember that time when they gave us the vaccine against the Flu-07G?”
“Wait,” Keith looks at her. “You were the kid who fainted while walking?”
“Shut up,” Pidge groans. “It was a long time ago okay.”
Coran meets Shiro’s eyes, it’s kind. You didn’t have to ask.
He doesn’t say it, but Coran can hear it. Loud and clear.
Allura
Izara.
Izara, Izara, Izara.
How could she leave her?
(How could she forget?)
Lance
“The syringe!” He yells. “Pass it to me, now! ”
Pidge grabs it, her skin complexion turning even paler than usual. She gulps, handing it to Hunk. "You ready, Lance?”
He smiles. “I told you, I’m born ready.”
Hunk pushes Lance’s fingers, finding a vein right in the hyphtomalka, and presses on the syringe; the quintessence going in. The life force of the paladin is weaker than Allura’s but since they’ve piloted the lions for a long time, it’s slightly stronger than the average human. And there’s six of them (counting Coran). It’ll do the work. Plenty.
Lance feels himself gaining back control; he looks down to Allura. “C’mon Lura,” he whispers. “You can do it.”
Allura
It’s so timid at first Allura thinks she’s hallucinating it. But then it starts growing stronger— it’s familiar, in the sense she’s always felt it around her but now it’s hers. It ties her down. She gains back power, the memories slowly starting to fade, the pain in her chest calming itself.
“No,” Honerva let go of her, her eyes widening in horror. “No, Allura. Izara, remember!”
The tip of her fingers come to life— quintessence; a crazy amount of it. And it’s so familiar. Awfully familiar. The realization hits her at once: it’s the paladins.
“Allura stop,” Honerva yells, she’s tearing up. “Don’t you think we deserve to have something back? Haven’t they taken enough? Allura I’ll make them fall— the whole empire, it will be like it never existed. The thought won’t ever cross your mind again. Think about Izara. Izara! ”
Allura is. Constantly. She doesn’t think the memory will ever leave her now but she takes a deep breath.
“I understand your pain,” she says softly. Her cheeks are wet with tears, she doesn’t think she’s stopped crying since she came. “Believe me, I do.”
“You don’t,” Honerva’s lower lip trembles, and she takes a step away from her. “They took my son from me.” She’s pulling on her hair, like she’s trying to tear them off her head. “I didn’t even know—didn’t even remember I had something. They took him from me, I was...I was a vessel. I had... no... no...No freedom, do you understand? I was no one. Just a pawn. Just... just.. a witch.”
She looks down to her hands, they’re shaking; the skin is peeling off, falling. “They used me. I spent 10, 000 years as a slave and I.. I… ”
She wraps her hands around herself, like it hurts to breathe, like her heart is killing her from inside. “I had a son. And I didn’t know.” She’s sobbing, the tears falling down her cheeks. “A son. He grew up with- without— without a mothe—,” a cry. It breaks Allura’s heart. “Without me. ”
Allura takes a step toward Haggar, hesitantly taking her in her arms. “I know,” she whispers. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“They took everything from me,” she’s yelling. “I want— Allura I need —”
“Rest,” Allura says. “You need rest.”
Haggar doesn’t answer, her whole body’s shaking in Allura’s embrace. Allura closes her eyes, “You remember that spell? The one where we send the sick to the after life? I got sad that day, when we had to send away your old friend, do you remember what you told me?”
Haggar meets her eyes— a melancholic gold. “Sometimes,” she says; and Allura feels like she’s back as a child. “People are too tired to continue.”
“And in these times,” Allura recalls. “It’s our responsibility to end the pain.”
“It hurts,” Honerva murmurs. It’s the same voice she used when Allura was a child; it makes the knot in her belly tighten. “But you must be strong. For you.”
“For them,” she whispers.
“Do it,” Honerva says. She takes Allura’s hand, squeezing it gently. “I know it’s time for me to go.”
“You have to do it with me, do you remember the words?” Allura says. Everything feels too heavy, she thinks she’s crying.
“I do,” Honerva nods. “Go on.”
“Réhat abadérnel donhem,” she starts. Give the soul eternal rest,
“W’luriak azalérnel léyudi lahumine,” Honerva continues. May they forever be guided by the eternal light,
“Restareh nafsâme salor,” Allura finishes. May they rest in peace,
“Waliakaisi.” And let it be.
Honerva squeezes her hand one more time, and then vanishes in a smoke of stars. Allura’s standing alone, in the seventh dimension, her heart emptier than when she came. Everything’s gone.
But Honerva will rest— and Allura thinks she can live with that.
Keith
Shiro lands the fatal shot in Sendak’s chest after Keith shoots him in the legs. He’s already weaker because of the entity (he somehow resisted, probably because he stole too much of quintessence). But a shot from both Keith and Shiro is enough; they both stand up, looking down to where Sendak’s lying on the floor, immobile.
“You did it,” Keith says.
“Yeah—,” He’s crying, Keith thinks. And trying to catch his breath. “We did. He’s gone.”
The datapad starts ringing: it’s Matt. He’s got— literal stars in his eyes. “We did it,” he grins. “Every person responsible has reported back to us, the Galra Empire has fallen.”
They’re both shaking, the words not completely registering. But then Matt grins widen. “But that’s not the best part,” his smile is so big, Keith’s cheeks are hurting for him. “We got a call from a member of the Blade. Altea’s returned; it’s standing close to Daibazzal. No one knows how it happened— we think it was maybe a gift? From the universe, I don’t know—”
Stars.
Fuck.
“We need to tell Allura.”
Lance
Allura’s still trying to get up when Shiro and Keith stumble in the medical bay. Shiro’s staring at Allura, and he runs to her, taking her immediately in his arms. Keith’s behind him, a huge smile plastered on his face.
“Altea’s back, Allura.” Shiro says. Everyone looks up, mouth agape. Keith’s grinning. “Altea’s back. The planet is there. It’s waiting for you.”
The words seem to hit Allura a bit later than everyone else, her eyes widening, then tearing up. “Looks like I finally got something back,” She laughs. Her voice cracks, and Shiro hugs her tighter.
“Yeah,” Lance says. “Deserved, if you ask me.”
Keith lingers toward Lance, his hand finding Lance’s. “You did it,” he whispers. “Greatest non-Altean alchemist if you ask me.”
Lance smiles softly, forehead touching Keith's. "I did," the love's overflowing in his chest-- he wants to kiss Keith stupid until he dies, until he's too old to get up. "You did it too." He loves him so much-- he's denied it for so long. He kisses him, forgetting for a second the team is still right here. Keith kisses back eagerly, seemingly forgetting too.
(“What the hell? ”
“Of all the things I thought you’d never figure out, Pidge," Hunk says. “This was the last one.”
“It was, truly, so obvious.” Shiro laughs.)
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Izara Bel-Âme Kaiega dies on the frontlines: saves 4000 Alteans in the process
Izara Kaiega died today, saving 4000 citizens helping them escape to safety while Altea was being bombed. All citizens are safe, but she sadly did not make it.
I had the chance, earlier this week, to talk to her face to face about her opinion on putting the heir of Altea, Allura Ryna-Lei Conthik-Dakhir, in cryosleep. Kaiega expressed her agreement with the decision.
“Allura hates the idea, of course.” She said, laughing. “But I believe she can make a difference. And right here, right now, she’s in too much danger. She can keep the lions safe, and come back, eventually, with a stronger army. She’s a genius— I know she’ll make us win. Without a doubt.”
“Wouldn’t you want to be on her side, as her partner?”
“Of course,” her eyes grew gentle and her voice, kinder. “But it’d be selfish. I’m needed here right now.”
Kaiega was a doctor in formation. She was studying under the queen; Dr Melenor Conthik. Her previous mentor had been Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe— well known neurosurgeon and royal advisor.
“If you do see her before me though,” she grinned, and got up. She had people to save. “Tell her I love her.”