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“What did the Egg promise you, Ant?”
Ant blinks at the question and turns his gaze to where Bad stands. They’re several hours into the preparations of the Red Banquet, though it’s the first time Bad has said anything since they started.
They’re alone. Ponk is off making his soup, Punz is still recovering from Quackity’s attack on the Egg, and after showing where Puffy hid weapons and armor, Hannah left to look as if she’s attending as a guest by arriving with everyone else. Prime knows where Skeppy is, though Ant has his suspicions just by looking at Bad.
He looks like he hasn’t slept in a week. His usual diamond earring he wears is gone.
In the past, Ant might’ve confronted Bad. He might’ve asked questions or at least forced him to take a nap. But they have preparations to be made and the Egg says Bad is fine.
Ant trusts the Egg, it’s gotten him this far, hasn’t it?
Though, the question catches him off guard. Bad never asked before. In fact, nobody in the Eggpire has ever truly talked about what the Egg promised them. They never needed to know, they all were united by the Egg and that’s all they needed to work together.
“Why?” Ant raises an eyebrow.
“I’m… Curious, I guess.” Bad’s voice is small. He doesn’t quite meet his eyes.
Ant hesitates. Then for a brief moment, his eyes dart to the long table with a cake neatly set in the middle.
“Does it matter?”
“…No.” Bad sighs, shaking his head. “I suppose it doesn’t.”
Silence engulfs them like a wave again. Ant’s eyes are drawn to the lone cake on the table again, unable to move until the Egg urges him that there are things to be done.
Ant tries not to think about it after that. It distracts him too much, and he has work to do.
—
When Ant first joins the SMP, he’s newly grief stricken and looking for a place to go.
He has a home, but it’s painfully empty and echoes with memories that he can’t handle. He can’t be alone and after one of many calls to Sam and Bad, they send him coordinates to join them in Dream’s SMP.
It’s nice, not being alone. Even when he’s being kidnapped by Pogtopia in order to mine cobblestone, it’s strangely… Comedic. Something different to keep his mind off of dark places.
War is less than desirable but it’s better than soul shaking heartbreak.
Then there’s the Egg.
Truthfully, Ant had thought it was ugly at first but it smelled so sweet like…
Like cake. Like home.
Like him.
The spell was brief at first. But when Skeppy turned red, Bad’s obsession grew with it and in an effort to reel his friend back, Ant fell down the rabbit hole too.
The Egg spoke to him one day. It had never done that before, but Ant listened and couldn’t deny that it’s words were sweeter than it’s initial allure.
It had told Ant it could reunite him with him.
It was too good to be true. But if there was even a sliver of a chance, well…
Ant had to take it.
—
Half an hour before the Red Banquet and as Ponk and Ant are setting up the plates and silverware, as well as dishing out Ponk’s soup, Ponk spares a glance at the cake.
“Did Bad make that?”
“No, it was me.”
“You?” Ponk turns to him, head tilted. “I didn’t even know you could cook.”
“I can’t. Just baking. It used to be one of my favorite things to do.”
“…Huh.” Ponk stares for a moment longer. “Never pegged you for the baking type. Never even heard you mention it before.”
“Mm, well…” Ant huffs. “I haven’t done it in a while.”
—
Flour covers his face. Ant attempts to shake it off with no avail and settles for fanning the white cloud of it away. Behind him, someone snickers.
“You put it in too fast.”
“Really?” Ant coughs. “I hadn’t noticed.”
Another laugh, softer this time. “Here, I got you.”
Velvet turns him to face him before taking a damp cloth and wiping his face. Ant wrinkles up his nose at it but at the very least, the cloth is warm and not as unpleasant. He’s never been a fan of getting- of water but this isn’t as bad.
(Even in his head, he avoids certain phrases knowing what Velvet’s response would be if he heard them.
Not that he dislikes his humor by any means. It’s actually close to his own, not that many would know unless they were close with him. But Velvet is far bolder than he is and never fails to make him flustered.)
“There. My favorite kitten is all cleaned up.”
Velvet smirks as Ant feels his cheeks heat up. “You never run out of nicknames, do you?”
“Nope. I like seeing your reaction to them. You’re cute.”
Velvet leans forward and plants a kiss on his nose. Ant stutters only for a moment, then wraps his arms around his neck and leans in as he gives Velvet a proper one on the lips.
“Mmm…” Velvet hums as they pull away. “Sweeter than frosting.”
“Oh, shut up.” Ant laughs. “You’re so cheesy, you know that?”
“You like cheesy.” Velvet replies knowingly.
And, well, Ant can’t really argue with that.
“C’mon, we gotta finish this cake batter and get it in the oven soon or it won’t be ready for the party.” Ant gives him a nudge.
“Alright, alright.” Velvet says, and Ant makes the mistake of thinking that’s the end of his sentence until he adds, “And afterwards, I can eat your cake batter, right?”
Ant chokes.
—
Ponk makes a speech at the Red Banquet. It’s laced with bitter tasting words and at the end of it, Ponk looks at Sam and throws a ghast tear at him with his remaining arm.
(Ant remembers the day he came back with only one arm and the bloody remains of another. He had been too tired to scream as Ant did his best to patch him up but his eyes were more red than before and vacant.
He said one thing and one thing only: “He cut off my arm.”
Ant didn’t need a name. He figured it out.)
As Ponk walks away from him, Ant catches a low murmur under Sam’s breath.
“You look so beautiful right now.”
Ponk tenses when he hears it.
—
“You look so beautiful right now.” Velvet murmurs in his ear as Ant curls up next to him.
Ant laughs. “I haven’t even brushed my fur today though.”
“I know.” Velvet presses a kiss to his forehead. “And I don’t care.”
—
When his blade is pulled out of Foolish’s motionless body, Puffy is screaming.
She’s the loudest out of everybody, raw emotion wracking her body and making her tremble to the point where she can no longer stand. Eret stands beside her, gently supporting her and staring at Foolish’s fading body like she can’t believe what she’s seeing.
Ant knows grief when he sees it. And even if it’s muffled by the Egg’s influence, some part of him deep down inside feels horrible.
But for the Egg?
For Velvet?
Ant would do worse.
—
Velvet and Ant shared one last kiss before he boarded the ship. From the sidelines, Velvet yelled reassurances to Ant that it would only be for two weeks. Two weeks and he would be back.
Ant never took his eyes off the ship as it disappeared into the horizon. Even once it did, he sat at the docks, unable to quell the anxious feeling in his chest saying something was wrong.
News came a week later. The ship never arrived and when they went searching for it, they found the remains at the bottom of the sea floor, damaged beyond repair.
All of the lifeboats were broken with it. No survivors, they said.
For months, Ant held onto the hope that somehow, Velvet had survived. They never found a body, they didn’t know for sure.
But months passed and Ant was alone. His search for anyone matching his boyfriend’s description always came up empty.
Ant thought he was holding onto hope until one day, he looked down, and realized it was denial instead.
Denial is the first stage of grief, they say.
Ant had been grieving for months and never realized it. Once he did, he needed to get out as fast as he could.
What hurt the most wasn’t the funeral with an empty casket or the constant pity or even the emptiness of what was once a shared home.
What hurt the most was finding a ring in his sock drawer.
—
Ant should’ve expected it, really. But his attention had been on Quackity, who dismissed him; Technoblade, and his army of dogs; and Purpled, who shrugged at his betrayal.
Ant didn’t see Puffy with her axe until she screamed, “You’re dead, Antfrost!” And the axe sunk into his chest before he could think to run.
Death was… Less painful than he was expecting. It might’ve helped that Puffy had done it so quickly- was that purposeful? Was she kind, even in killing him?
It didn’t matter. Because Ant was suddenly formless and floating in an empty abyss.
They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die. As Ant drifted in death, he choked back a sob because-
He was here.
Velvet smiled at him, arms open and Ant didn’t hesitate to take the invitation. He crashed into his arms with a sob, and for one moment, he was warm and he was safe and he was okay.
Then Ant woke up in his bed with a gasp and he was alone again. His chest ached painfully, a new scar blooming across his chest and an old wound reopened in his heart.
The Egg promised it would give him back. In an ironic way, it did, if only for a moment, but now?
Now Antfrost lost a life and he was gone before Ant could blink.
Ant lies there. For hours, for days maybe. He isn’t sure, but when Ant finally gets up, he makes a beeline for what ingredients he has on hand.
He sets them on the table, grabs a mixing bowl, and lights up the furnaces. Then, he begins to bake for himself for the first time in… A year, maybe longer.
A sweet smell fills the air and Ant only aches further. But he continues, pushing himself to finish and sets a timer for the cake once it’s in.
As Ant stares into the furnace and watches the cake slowly bake, he imagines soft laughter, blunt jokes, warm arms wrapping around him, and a head resting on his shoulder.
And if he holds on long enough, it’s like he’s actually here.