Chapter Text
"Hey, guys? I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm starving!" Gingerbrave whined, "Maybe we should stop and get something to eat? I brought some coins this time!"
"The king is quite hungry as well..." Custard agreed, "But fear not! For my favorite establishment is close by!"
Custard pointed, catching the crew's attention. To their avail, a McDonald's was just up ahead. The nearby aroma was pleasing to the hungry kids, their mouths already starting to drool thinking of the taste.
"But...didn't they kick us out the last time?" Wizard said aloud, pondering, "Something about not ordering anything...?"
"We wouldn't want to get in trouble again..." Strawberry murmured.
"Oh, relax! I'm sure they won't even remember who we are!"
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"Pomegranate! Get my scythe! It's those goddamn kids again!" Licorice would growl, glaring down at the group.
Pomegranate's gaze shifted up as she was mopping the floor behind, letting out a frustrated sigh, "As unfortunate as it is, we cannot murder them. We must ask them to order something or leave."
"W-wait! We're gonna actually buy some food this time!" Gingerbrave would stutter as he pulled out his coin pouch.
"...Oh. Mhehehe! Great! Finally, someone buys something from here! What do you wan—"
"—The great king would like a splendid meal! Consisting of a cheeseburger, apple slices, chicken nuggets, and milk, all packed in a red box with a smiley face!" Custard would interrupt, practically shouting, and then following up in a quieter tone, "...but please no pickles on my burger. I don't like pickles..."
Gingerbrave looked to the side awkwardly, "...Uhh. We'll take four happy meals..."
Licorice would cringe some. "Ehhhh....riiiiight...gotcha..."
Licorice would press some numbers on the register, squinting his eyes at the number it came to. "'Okay, so that'll come to...uhhhh..." he froze up at the numbers, sweating nervously.
Gingerbrave had his pouch ready, waiting for the amount to be said. The longer the necromancer was in front of the register, the more scared he got.
"Is he okay...?" Strawberry asked. She waved her hand in front of his face, and he wouldn't even blink.
"Ha-ha! His face is absolutely hilarious!" the young king giggled.
"Ehhhh-" he would still be shaking. Pomegranate frustratedly dropped her mop. Walking over and aggressively pushing Licorice out of the way, reading the numbers herself.
"You are so fucking embarrassing, Licorice." she'd begin to redo the numbers, as it had somehow amassed to three thousand gold coins.
"Why did they even HIRE me to manage the register?! I can't count any higher than seven!"
"And you can't use a fork correctly." Dark Choco would chime in from the back.
"How do those two things even correlate?!"
"They don't. I just wanted to point that out."
Pomegranate huffed, finally getting the total. "That will be fifty silver coins. Or, twenty golden ones."
The cookie would pull out the coins from his wallet. Twenty gold coins, a paperclip, and a gum wrapper.
"Keep the change!" Brave deadpanned.
Pomegranate looked at the gum wrapper, the kids, and then the gum wrapper again. In disgust, she took the money, putting it in the register. She didn't even bother to take the trash that was left on the counter.
"Wait, are you guys gonna eat in, or is this take-out? Licorice asked, finally snapping out of it."
The group chattered amongst themselves, a group huddle was needed critically for this very hard and daunting decision. Eventually, they came to their conclusion. "We'll eat in!"
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They'd been on the road for about five hours, nearly back home. Wind Archer was getting tired, and it didn't help that Fire Spirit was blasting a horny ass song as he was driving.
"Fire Spirit, turn the music down, please." Wind Archer calmly pleaded, eyes focused on the road.
Fire Spirit had their feet up on the airbag spot, arms behind their head." I dunno, why should I?"
"It's very distracting."
"Huh. That sounds like a you problem!" Wind Archer wasn't even in the mood to reason, just doing his best to focus.
Fire Spirit started to sing along to the music, very loudly.
"AND WELL IT'S JUST LIKE THE OCEAN—UNDER THE MOON—AND IT'S SAME AS THE EMOTION THAT I GET FROM—"
SCREEEEECH. The truck almost went off-road, as Wind Archer quickly took his hand off the wheel to eject the CD Fire was listening to.
"Wh- Hey! Way to be a major mood killer!" Fire Spirit scoffed.
"Your mood's not the only thing that's gonna get killed if you keep this up..."
"You're just jealous I can sing much, much better than you!"
"Sure."
"Pfft! You finally admit it! You know, they also call me the best Legendary because of my superior singing skills! Did you know tha—"
He suddenly noticed Wind Archer squirming a little bit and mouth twitching.
Fire Spirit snorted, "You need to use the bathroom?"
"...Now that you say it, yes..." Wind Archer tried to stop squirming, but he still looked uncomfortable.
"...Dude, don't piss your pants."
"Shut up."
He did in fact shut up for a moment, but only before quietly humming "Schhhhhhhhhhh..." trying to imitate the sound of a water stream, which earned him a slap on the shoulder from the frustrated driver.
"Whaaaaaat?" Fire Spirit would ask while batting his eyelashes mockingly, trying to seem innocent.
Eventually, Wind Archer pulled into a McDonald's parking lot, parallel parking the van.
"I'm going to use the restroom here. I swear to Millenial if you do anything stupid in the five minutes I'll be gone..."
"Please, Windy, what do I look like, a child?"
"No, because that's not giving kids enough credit." Wind got out and closed the car door. As he went inside, he glanced back at Fire Spirit a few times, who would still be chilling with a smug smile.
Wind flashed an "I'm watching you" sign before going inside.
All he could hope is that he wouldn't do something stupid while he was in there. But deep down inside, he knew this man.
This man.
This man inevitably was going to do something stupid.