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“… Bakugou, stay back for a second.”
Bakugou huffed and paused at the door. He watched as everyone else filtered out. Izuku looked back at him for a second before slipping out of the door, promising he would wait by the gate.
“What do you want teach’?”
“You lost your bet with Midoriya.”
“And?” Bakugou narrowed his eyes as he looked at his teacher. “You treat him differently than the rest of us.”
“I do not, I treat all of my students equally. It is illogical to act differently for certain students.” Shouta was trying to maintain his deadpan façade. “You lost the bet which means you’re getting him ‘the good stuff.’ If you get it for him, I prefer you give it to him here.”
“Why?”
“It’s safer and there’ll be someone to watch over him in case something bad happens.”
“Pardon my French, teach’, but that’s complete bullshit.”
Shouta neither confirmed nor denied Bakugou’s statement.
“You just want to see him high as a kite, don’t you?” Bakugou grinned. “Fine, I’ll bring it in tomorrow. Bring a laser pointer.” Shouta wanted to deny it, but he knew that Bakugou would see through it immediately. Anyone who didn’t want to see a slightly-feral-cat-child was lying.
In this situation, it was most logical to be candid.
“Deal. You’ll get five extra credit points on the first quiz for this. Don’t get used to it.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just be ready for tomorrow.”
Shouta was not ready. He was not prepared for the hell ‘the good stuff’ would bring to the class. The morning had started off relatively fine (if one could consider Asui covering Mineta in her paralyzing mucus fine).
Everything was fine until Bakugou strolled in with Midoriya in tow, late. Midoriya’s eyes were wide with excitement, he clearly knew what the other boy had, likely due to his enhanced senses. Anytime the feline student would make a grab towards Bakugou’s bag, the explosive boy would swat his hand away.
Shouta used the exact same kind of swatting whenever his cat tried to steal a bite of his dinner.
“That’s it. I’m buying you a fucking leash on our way home,” Bakugou growled out. His face was twisted in annoyance, so nothing out of the norm.
“I don’t need a leash!”
“I had to grab you three times before you could run out into traffic to catch a rabbit!”
“… point taken,” Midoriya said as he made his way towards his seat. “Can you at least give it to me?”
“No,” Bakugou said with a sense of finality. He pulled a sealed bag out of his school bag and dropped it onto Shouta’s desk. “Teach’ gets to decide when you get that shit.” Bakugou met Shouta’s glance out of the corner of his eye. He smirked and nodded his head once before heading to his desk and taking a seat.
Kitty Creations: Neko Nap Snacks Premium Catnip
Shouta knew this brand. He knew this brand very well. It was the brand of catnip that only bought his cats on special occasions because of how expensive it was. It was the brand of catnip that Hizashi bought for his cats during their first Christmas together. How a high schooler without a job was able to buy such a luxurious brand, he couldn’t be certain, but he definitely wouldn’t question it.
“Right…” Shouta picked up a stack of papers from his desk. “We’ll be having a mini quiz.” He began to pass out the papers. “You need to list all of your classmates and their quirks. You’ve only spent one full day together, but I expect you to at least know these basics.”
“Haaah?! The hell kind of test is this?”
Shouta gave Katsuki a dry look. “An important one. You won’t have weeks to get to know heroes out on the field. You need to learn their names and quirks as fast as possible. Start writing.”
All of his students started to write on their papers, fierce looks of concentration as they tried to remember the other weirdos in their class. Unsurprisingly, Yaoyorozu and Iida were two of the first to finish. Surprisingly, Midoriya finished before them. Once Shouta thought about it, it did make sense. The boy had the highest grades throughout middle and elementary school, and he was quite observant, it just wasn’t always obvious due to his short attention span. He also had asked many of his fellow classmates about their quirks throughout the day yesterday.
The last two to finish were Bakugou and Mineta.
“Whoever scored lowest in this quiz will have to clean the classroom today after class.”
Mineta paled and Bakugou’s smirk disappeared.
Shouta gathered all of the papers, flipping through the papers on the way to his desk. “Midoriya, Yaoyorozu, and Iida got perfect scores. Bakugou—” He remembered their deal from the previous day. “— got 7 out of 20. Mineta, you came last with only 4 out of 20.” Shouta enjoyed the scream of anguish the purple boy released.
Without the promised extra credit, Bakugou would’ve only gotten 2 out of 20 which was really sad. It was even sadder when you realized that the only two he knew was himself and Midoriya. Instead of names, he used descriptive and rather insulting names. At least he was creative.
“Well. Mineta, remember to stay after school and clean this room. I want the floors to shine from your tears.” He set the papers down on his desk. Considering for a second, he put the bag of cat nip in his pocket. “Come on everyone, down to Ground Gamma.”
Everyone’s chairs scrapped against the floor as they all stood from their desks. A few of them chatted amongst themselves as they followed their teacher out to Ground Gamma. A few were quite curious as to what they would be doing.
“I really hope we’re not doing more fitness testing,” Kaminari whined to Ashido and Sero. “My muscles are still sore from yesterday!”
Ashido snickered softly. “What muscles?” She laughed upon seeing Kaminari’s offended face. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
The blond boy sighed softly and hung his head. “I can’t…” He perked up again quickly with an excited look on his face. “Just wait! I’ll get jacked this year and you’ll be all over me!”
Sero lightly patted his shoulder. “You keep telling yourself that bud.”
Aizawa would never admit how much he already liked these kids. He would never admit how funny they actually were. Admitting that would break the logical and no-nonsense persona he’s developed over the years.
“Midoriya, come here.”
The green haired boy made his way over to his teacher, a bit confused. “Yes Mr. Aizawa?”
Shouta pulled the catnip out of his pocket. He tore open the package and poured a small amount into the eager boy’s hands. “There you go. That’s all you’re getting for today.”
Without any hesitation, he began to sniff at the catnip and rub it on his face. Shouta was hit by a sense of déjà vu as he looked exactly like his cat Bastard anytime he played with catnip. It didn’t take long for the effects to kick in. Midoriya’s pupils expanded almost instantly.
“… Mr. Aizawa? Why did you give Midoribro catnip if we’re about to do an exercise?”
“As heroes, you’ll have to help citizens in all sorts of conditions. Some will be coherent, but others—” He looked over at Midoriya who was now making a chattering ‘kekeke’ sound. “—can have an altered mental status. Your goal will be to subdue Midoriya without hurting him.”
All of the students looked at their feline classmate who was now rolling around on the ground, bits of catnip stuck in his hair and on his clothes. His irises could no longer be seen. He was, as the kids used to say, ‘lost in the sauce.’
“But why did you choose him to be the one to get high?” Mineta asked. “Seems unfair.”
Shouta sighed. “He’s the only one that can get high without using drugs. It would be unethical to get one of you high through the more traditional ways. Besides—” Shouta looked over Mineta. “—Midoriya is in good shape which will present you all a challenge.”
Was it mean to insinuate that Mineta was out of shape? Maybe. But honestly, what could a three-foot purple ball do? If he was the drugged citizen, he would be caught before he could blink.
“Get started.”
Iida raised his hand. “But Mr. Aizawa! Midoriya isn’t currently moving! He is still rolling around on the ground.”
Everyone look a few seconds to look at Midoriya.
“Good point Iida,” Shouta said and pulled something out of his pocket. “Bakugou, you’ll be in charge of making sure Midoriya keeps moving.” He tossed the object to Bakugou with a grin.
Bakugou caught it easily and smirked once he saw what it was. “You got it, teach’.” Without another word, he blasted himself onto one of the tallest buildings. He flashed the laser pointer just in front of Midoriya’s face, pulling him out of his trance.
A flip was switched in him.
He bounded after the small point of light using all of the force his body could muster. A perfect predator, high off his ass, chasing a laser pointer like a regular house cat (Felis catus). He was only slightly clumsy as he parkoured up the sides of buildings and across streets.
“Well, go.”
The rest of the students unfroze and chased after their classmate. Shouta happily sat back and watched the madness unfold. Seeing as Ground Gamma was huge and Shouta didn’t particularly feel like following them to watch, he tapped into Nezu’s cameras on a tablet and happily watched from the observation deck.
Shouta>>> ur free, right?
Nemuri<<< Yeah, why?
Hizashi<<< I Am!
Shouta>>> come 2 gamma
Shouta>>> trust me
Hizashi<<< Already On My Way!
Nemuri<<< I’m scared, but intrigued. I’m coming.
Before long, Shouta’s friend and husband both arrived. They took a seat on either side of him and looked at the tablet in his hands. At the moment, Ojiro and Shouji were trying to wrestle Midoriya down from the top of a streetlight.
It wasn’t going well.
“Shou, what’re you doing to your little listeners?” Hizashi couldn’t help but laugh as Midoriya fell off the lamp and immediately darted away into an alley. The camera bot followed after him closely.
“Altered mental status civilian training.”
Nemuri snorted. “You gave green kitty catnip?”
Shouta silently nodded, diverting his attention back to the screen. Kaminari, Kirishima, and Sero had Midoriya cornered in the alley. It was a complete dead end, large brick walls surrounded them. It appeared that Sero was attempted to weave his tape into a net while Kaminari and Kirishima attempted to goad the cat student forward into the net.
It would have worked if Bakugou hadn’t flashed the laser pointer on the wall above Kirishima’s head.
Midoriya easily jumped up and away from tape trap. Right as his hand touched where the laser had been, Bakugou led his friend out of the alley and up the street. All of the students were around the street, sweaty and out of breath. Bakugou was cackling wildly from the top of the building. Never before had a laser pointer wielding student looked so evil.
Then again, students never wielded laser pointers.
“Shouta… there’s something wrong with you.” Nemuri was grinning widely as she watched the students make fools of themselves. They may have been the best and brightest in the entrance exam, they certainly didn’t appear so right now. “That being said, I just told Nezu to save and make copies of all of this footage.”
Hizashi winced as Midoriya landed on Mineta’s face, knocking the purple boy out cold. “Should be grab him?”
Shouta considered it for a minute. “We could… but I don’t want to. Maybe this’ll teach him to stay alert.”
Bakugou continued to lead his high friend through the fake city, never allowing him to fight any group long enough for them to grab the upper hand. He was truly enjoying his job. Watching all of the ‘extras’ fail gave him enough serotonin for the next month. At the moment, he was making Midoriya run tight circles around Uraraka who was having a hard time keeping up with the movements. Any time she reached out her hand to try and touch Midoriya, he bounded just out of reach and continued running circles around her.
“Why did you give the laser pointer to Bakugou, the one that arguably needs the most work with proper civilian work?” Nemuri was not eating a bag of popcorn. Where she got it from, Shouta will never know.
“They’re childhood friends. Bakugou knows how to deal with him when he’s high. If he was part of the exercise, they’d be done already.”
All three adults winced as Midoriya ran face first into a fake bank. He didn’t look phased in the slightest; he simply stood and shook himself off before continuing his hunt.
“… Does Midoriya purr?”
Shouta looked over at his husband with wide eyes. He had clearly never considered that question before and was now eager to know the answer. “I don’t know… probably? He makes the weird chattering sounds that cats make when they’re excited. I swear I heard him chuffing at Bakugou yesterday after class.”
“What kind of cat is he?”
“… yes”
“Yes?”
“He has traits from pretty much every cat in existence.”
Nemuri gasped in excitement. “Is that why his hair is so bushy??? His hair is like a lion’s mane?”
Shouta frowned a bit. “Maybe? I just thought he has curly hair and has no idea how to care for it.”
“Both? It’s probably both.” Hizashi looked closer at the screen. “Someone really needs to show him how to care for his hair.”
Shouta snorted. “Don’t look at me.”
“I wasn’t looking at you Mr. Long Hair Routines Are Illogical.”
Nemuri shushed them both and turned their attentions back to the screen. Midoriya was perched on a set of stairs, appearing to be getting ready to pounce. The red point of light was carefully balanced on Ashido’s back. He wiggled his legs and feet into place, tensed for a second, and released. A faint scream of surprise could be heard as he landed on top of her.
“Bakubitch!”
“You’re just mad ‘cause you suck ass Raccoon Eyes!” Somehow, Bakugou’s voice echoed through the entire arena. He really was a loudmouth.
Nemrui and Hizashi were giggling like school children. “How long have they been at this?”
Shouta hummed softly and looked at his phone. “I’d say… about forty minutes? They started off just chasing him which didn’t work. They then tried being creative, but that didn’t work either. Now, Bakugou is just terrorizing them.”
“When does this end?”
“Either when one of them catches Midoriya or when it wears off.” He shrugged. “No idea how much longer it’ll last on him. He’s a cat, but he’s not fully cat.”
“Very eloquent, Shou.”
“Oh, shut up and just enjoy the show.”
It seems like the students were uniting for one last plan attempt. Kouda was holding a long stick with a feather attached by a hanging string to the end. He approached Midoriya who was watching them with wide eyes. He caught sight of the feather and his tail immediately straightened out, standing tall into the air.
“C-Come on kitty, play with the nice feather.” Kouda’s voice was soft. His quirk of Anivoice appealed to the wild side of Midoriya. For once, Midoriya listened and slowly walked forward and started to bat at the feather. While he was distracted, Yaoyorozu and Asui wrapped him in a large blanket, turning him into a burrito.
“Isn’t that what you two do to Bastard when you have to trim his nails?”
“Yeah,” both men replied.
Shouji picked up the blanketed bundle in his six arms and held him close. Midoriya was still happily playing with the feather that Kouda held.
“I was kind hoping that would go on a little longer, but oh well.” Shouta stood up from his seat. “I’ll see you two after school.” He walked off to meet his students on the ground.
By the time the entire group met up again, Midoriya was asleep in his blanket cocoon. Kirishima was the unfortunate one to be carrying Mineta back who was till unconscious. Bakugou landed roughly next to Shouta, grinning smugly from how long he had held the class at bay.
“Well, that went horribly.” The class was too tired to even protest his assessment. “But you did succeed, so good job. Go get cleaned up and head back to the classroom, lunch will be starting soon.”
The class started to disperse. Shouta carefully took Midoriya from Shouji, cradling the sleeping boy close. “Bakugou, how long until he wakes up?”
Bakugou thought over the question momentarily. “I’d say… an hour minimum? Cat nip zoomies make him really tired.”
Shouta nodded. “Alright, you head to lunch. I’ll put him in Recovery Girl’s office to sleep it off. If he doesn’t wake up before the end of the day, I can drive you and him home.”
Bakugou nodded in agreement, not one to turn down a free ride him. He jogged to catch up with Kirishima who definitely was NOT his friend.
“Alright Problem Kitten, let’s get you inside.”
If anyone said they saw Aizawa smiling down at his student, they wouldn’t have been lying, but no one would believe them. No, if anyone said anything, they would meet an early demise. If anyone saw anything, they decided to take that secret to their grave.
Though, it was quite cute when Midoriya started purring.