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When Scaramouche first encountered the astrologer in person, he didn’t think much of her. Just some poor astrologer who happened to know too much. Plus, he had his eyes set on the hero of Mondstadt, he had no time for the astrologer or the strange girl who talked too much. But after that first encounter, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Not only did she sense his presence and had a quick reaction time towards it, but her powers also drew his attention.
She could see the unforeseen, and it pissed him off.
He was the one with the act of surprise, hell, he even got all buddy-buddy with the Traveller for it all to be ruined in a mere second.
It wasn’t the last time he encountered Mona.
The more he saw her, the angrier he would get. It was almost as if the fates were laughing at some cruel joke if he believed in such things. If he was in Liyue, he would run into her at Wangshu Inn trying to talk up the innkeeper and bargain for a cheaper price on her stay. If he was in Mondstadt, he would find her passed out on the Starsnatch Cliff with her astrology equipment sprawled out around her. Everything she did was one step ahead of him and everything he did was too slow. Even though he was almost sure he outmatched her in power alone (although they were almost pretty even though Scaramouche wouldn’t admit that) he couldn’t get rid of her.
So when he found himself outside of Mona’s door in Mondstadt he couldn't believe that he would willingly seek her out. To his defence, he was bleeding heavily and was on the verge of passing out, only being able to climb Mondstadts wall undetected only to fall haphazardly on her doorsteps. He knew it was her door and he thought he must have been crazy to knock on it.
It took a moment and he could hear a “One moment please” muffled behind the door before she opened it. And there she was, with a shocked look in her tired eyes all while standing in her nightwear. She was wearing a dark blue tank top with short bottoms that had stars and galaxies painted all over it, obviously not prepared for a late-night visitor.
And the situation set in for Scaramouche before he passed out.
-
When Scaramouche awoke, his whole body ached with pain with the high of adrenaline finally wearing off. He gritted his teeth before turning with his hand gripping his wounded side to bump nose to nose with Mona. The girl's eyes were wide and he’s never seen her this close before, he had half the mind to not count the light constellation of freckles on her face or see if he could catch any of the shooting stars reflecting in her eyes. He blamed it on the pain muffling his brain for even thinking such thoughts, although he did have enough clarity in his head to quickly pull away from her, as did she.
He fell awkwardly with how much he pulled back, adrenaline momentarily returning to his veins but it quickly wore off and Scaramouche groaned painfully.
On the other hand, Mona stared at him, frozen in her place with a cotton ball in one hand and a tweezer in another.
Then a blush furiously crept up her cheeks. “I-I see you’ve finally awoken!” She said hastily.
“Only to a nosey witch.” Scaramouche spat back, although it didn’t carry as much venom as he was still trying to ground himself from the pain. He took a glance down at his wound to make sure the said witch hadn't poisoned it or anything but to his surprise, it was bandaged completely, perhaps not well but it was bandaged.
“Need I remind you who showed up at said nosey witches door,” Mona replied, staring daggers at him. She moved very cautiously as if she let a stray animal into her home and if she made the wrong move, it would bite her. Which Scaramouche supposed wasn't all wrong. Then she spoke again “Speaking of which, why were you at my door?”
Scaramouche decided to dodge this question by doing what he does best, insulting her. “I almost wish I hadn't come, considering your piss poor medical skills.” He waved his arm that had a loose bandage that was slowly becoming unwrapped.
“Would you rather I turn you in to the Favonius Knights? I’m sure they would have a field day knowing that the 6th Harbinger has decided to grace Mondstadt with his presence. Or better yet, I take you to the Favonius Church where Barbara would love to patch you up “
“The idol?” Scaramouche would’ve laughed if his side wasn’t in so much pain.
“Indeed, and I’m sure she would love to have a word or two with you for how much stress the Harbingers are causing her sister. And dear hope you don’t run into Rosaria, she isn’t as kind as Barbara, you know.” Mona said all with venom coursing through her words, her eyes harden on him, with no longer shooting stars reflecting in them. Instead, it was like looking into a cloudy night sky. He’s seen her eyes a lot like this, she was angry at him. “I should've left you at my door to bleed out.”
“But you didn’t. Now, why would the great Astrologer Mona bring a Harbinger into her home, the 6th harbinger no less.” Scaramouche replied smugly. Two could play at this game.
“It’s because I don’t like leaving poor mutts out in the rain.” She replied sharply. “Unlike you, I actually have a heart, seeing wounded pets like you pain me.”
Scaramouche smiled wickedly at that. He would never admit this out loud, but perhaps a part of him enjoyed bickering with the astrologer. Normally, people would cower at his words but she stood her ground harshly as if she could take on him and the world while she was at it. “A mutt huh? Did you come up with that yourself or did the stars tell you that?”
“Well, assuming you’re always following orders like a mangy dog, I’m sure I could pull up a constellation that tells me all about how you bark pathetically. It’s all in the fates plans I assume.” Her arms were now crossed, looking down at him and a smirk on her lips. She was having fun too, she thought that he was pathetic.
So, Scaramouche took that as an insult itself.
But, this was fun. He was wounded in his greatest rival's living room, bickering with her as if she didn’t have his life cradled in her hands. And it was exhilarating. They’ve bantered like this before, sure, but nothing as personal as this.
“I don’t follow any orders but my own, do you not know what a Harbinger’s position is or did your stupid hat eat your brain too?”
“Says the one who has an even more ridiculous hat. And if I do recall the first time we unfortunately met, you were following the orders of someone named Joker? No?” She paused, glancing at his forehead and sighed. “Look, shut up for once in your life and let me finish treating your wounds and maybe I won’t send you straight to the Favonius Knights, deal?”
“And what’s stopping me from killing you right now, astrologer?” He questioned. He already knew, but he wanted to keep pushing her.
“You’re far too injured to do that, I presume that if you weren’t already in this pathetic state you would’ve killed me when you had the chance. Now stop barking, dog.” She gritted her teeth and sat down in front of him. Scaramouche automatically pushed himself further into Mona's couch, a cheap thing really and one of the only furnishings in her humble abode, aside from all of the expensive astrology equipment laying around. It was an automatic response and Scaramouche didn't have time to protest as she leaned up and started dabbing a cut on his forehead with the cotton ball. She was so delicate and he hadn't even noticed it was bleeding. The position they were in was awkward, her chest was pushing up against his chin as she was trying to get the right angle.
To his dismay, his heart was pounding against his chest, threatening to break through his rib cage. Suddenly he felt like an adolescent boy again getting excited at the sight of cleavage for the first time. But Mona’s top was too loose and she wasn’t wearing a bra and oh god. He took all of his energy squeezing his eyes shut, hoping that when he opened it he would be back in his bed.
“I expected more fight from you,” He could hear Mona pursuing her lips, trying to focus on getting debris from the cut. “But you’re acting like you're constipated instead.”
He stayed silent, too worried that he would blurt out something stupid that was along the lines of “you should wear something more modest when someone is at your house,” But to be fair, he was the one who came uninvited.
He decided to focus on all of his thoughts on counting. They sat in comfortable silence if you could call it that, all while Scaramouche counted down from 30. When she could feel her pulling back the tweezers he opened his eyes just to check if the coast was clear. And oh god it wasn’t. When Mona was done she planted a kiss on the now treated wound. The kiss was so light, so unsure. He thought she must’ve lost her mind.
A blush bloomed across his cheeks as he slapped his forehead where Mona kissed it (which, ow, that hurt) and Mona pulled away quickly, equally as shocked at her actions.
“I - I, I um.” She quickly stuttered out trying to find the words to save the situation.
“Why would you do that!” He shrieked all while blushing furiously, he must’ve looked like a fool.
“No, it’s nothing really!” Mona tried to defend.
“Nothing really?!”
“My mother would kiss my wounds when I got hurt as a child! It’s just a habit I picked up. Shit, I knew this wouldn’t have been a good idea to bring you into my house” Mona groaned, covering her bashful face with her hands.
Scaramouche’s heart was beating furiously and he came to only one conclusion. “You witch! You were trying to seduce me, weren’t you!?”
“Seduce you?” Mona sounded scandalized.
“Yes, seduce me! That’s why you were showing off your- your… your stupid top! And on top of that, you kissed me!”
“My top?” Mona’s eyebrows furrowed and then she looked down at her top. Her blush grew even more furious if that was possible and she brought her hands to cover herself, finally bringing awareness of how compromising she looks.
“That was not my intention!” She blurted out. “You’re the one who showed all bloodied at my door!”
“And you stripped me shirtless!” Scaramouche shot back.
“To tend your wound, you ungrateful little man! I wasn’t doing anything improper!”
“You deviant women! I should’ve never come here in the first place!”
“Oh and just bleed out and die on my front porch? Sure, go right ahead!” Mona rolled her eyes, she no longer seemed flustered but just annoyed at the tantrum the small man was making.
“And I’m sure you would love that, all of your stupid fates and wishes coming true!”
“No, I wouldn’t. I still need you.” Mona said firmly.
Scaramouche paused.
Then a moment passed.
And he blinked and registered the words through his ears again, just to make sure he heard them right. Oh.
She said those words as if they haven’t spent months at each other’s throats, trying to kill each other on sight and sneak around each other.
She’s gone mad.
Mona cleared her throat, a blush creeping up her cheeks and she tried again, “Not like that, but something like that. I know why you came here.”
Scaramouche paused, listening to her intently.
“You wanted to break into my house, no? You are looking for the same thing I am.”
Scaramouche felt exposed. He knew Mona was a genius but sometimes he felt she was just a bit oblivious to some things, but yet she proved him wrong once again. This woman stripped him shirtless to tend to his wounds, exposed herself to him, kissed his forehead and looked completely through him.
The original plan was to break into her house, perhaps kill Mona, find any information he can and leave. She was the only astrologer that he knew and was on the same path of discovery as him, not to mention she’s a self-proclaimed genius.
“It didn’t make sense why you would come to my house if you were injured,“ She continued. “There's Fatui in Mondstadt, so why didn’t you go to them? I don’t think getting injured was part of your plan honestly, but either way, you have allies in Mondstadt. So, I’m assuming you’re acting on your accords, not on Fatui orders.”
Bingo. He smiled to himself. She was brilliant really, he knew that. But a part of him loved how she could strip down him to his core and figure out every course of action he would take.
“And what if I was?”
She paused for a moment. Then looked at him, her eyes full of stars dancing in their reflections. “I wouldn’t have taken you into my house if you were acting on Fatui orders.” Then she said these words, ever so softly as if she was whispering a forbidden secret to him, “Do you believe in the stars Scaramouche?”
There it is. He grinned and laughed despite his side aching in protest. “What do you think? I came here for that after all, you damn astrologer.” He had no venom in his voice saying that. He was truly just exasperated.
“I have a deal to propose. We are both after the same thing, so I thought it would be more practical for us to share what we know, a truce of sorts, although you do owe me for the information I share.” She looked a little nervous, chewing the bottom of her lip while she fiddled with the tweezers in between her fingers.
“And why would the great astrologer Mona wish to work with a Harbinger like me?”
“I’m putting personal agendas and grudges aside as we both know that this is more important than all of that combined.” She stated clearly, no longer looking fidgety but clear with herself.
“And what information do I owe you?”
“Simple really, I think I deserve to know what wounded you.”
Scaramouche scoffed to hide his surprise at being asked such a thing. It was a little embarrassing, truth be told, of how he exactly ended up wounded. It was definitely not his best performance.
“If I didn’t know any better, I would think that you’re worried about me. You’ve gone soft, Mona.”
Mona shook her head, “No, I just want to know what high being wounded you to give them my thanks. Makes my job easier, really.”
“It was Fatui lowlifes.”
“Fatui lowlifes?” Mona repeated, not looking convinced.
Scaramouche scoffed and scrunched his nose looking for the right words. “They were getting too close to my business.”
Mona seemed to understand what he meant by that, simply nodding although not exactly impressed. Instead, she walked over to her curtains and closed them harshly. For a split second, he thought Mona was going to murder him and somehow he tipped her over the edge. But instead she created a starry bubble of sorts and emitted light. And he saw it. Mona lifted up the bubble and it burst across the room, revealing everything.
Across the walls of the room there was written text that could be only seen with the type of light that Mona was able to produce. The room danced with rippling light reflecting from corner to corner, it almost felt like being under the ocean.
“In my astrologer readings I was taught about a phrase; that phrase being about the false sky. After my first meeting with you, it almost seemed to make sense.” She pointed to another wall of text and pointed some sort of telescope at it. On the wall, there was also diagrams and numerous mathematical equations. “What do you think of the moon?”
“Where are you going with this?” He asked impatiently.
“A while ago I conducted a self experiment on Starsnatch clif. I put a peg in the ground and tracked the shadow of it for about a couple days. I was able to mark the radius and find out that Tevyat is round. It makes sense why the sun sets and the moon rises. With this in mind and the knowledge of the placements of the sun and the moon, we should be having moon phases.”
“Moon phases?”
“Yes, have you ever noticed the moon is always full? With the idea that the sun and the moon are on the opposite sides, the sun should cast a shadow on the moon during its cycles. There should be moments when we don’t see it at all.” Mona continued.
“So Teyvat isn’t round then? Your silly experiment was a failure I suppose. I don’t have time for this.” He scoffed.
“Well, not exactly.”
For hours the two of them talked until they could see the rise of the sun creeping through the curtains. It was around then, that scaramouche realized something awful.
Scaramouche hated the stars. He hated how they flickered mockingly, covering the night sky in a blanket full of lies. He hated how they were above any creature in Tevyat as if they are inherently better for fooling all of those below them. Most of all, he hated whoever created the balls of lights.
He didn’t care if an archon painted those stars by hand and flickered dust of paint to create this illusion, he wanted to bring down the stars. And he would do so with the one he hated the most. Someone who he hated more so than the fool who created the false sky.
He would take down the stars with Mona because she was a star and she would know how to do this best. The astrologer girl who was raised with a silver spoon, stumbling her way into poverty all while being entranced by the stars. It wasn’t fair that they were able to fool her and more than anything she deserved her revenge on the stars.
So it was quite fair to say Scaramouche hated the stars. But when he caught the shimmer of starlight flickering through her eyes as she spoke of the stars a silly thought bloomed in his head.
The stars were real because her words inspired them to be so.
She spoke life in the swirling balls of lights and it was entrancing. His eyes were drunk on the sight of her standing in the moonlight mixing with the sunrise while thoroughly explaining something about a book she read that told the stories about three moons.
“I think there is more out there that is left unforeseen to the keen eyes. It’s possible it’s connected to the rumours of Khaenari’ah.” She continued while gazing at the mapped walls and then glanced at him. She was awfully tired and so was he.
Mona sat on the couch next to him and put her back to the arm and yawned. Scaramouche raised an eyebrow and pulled a disgusted face, or he tried to, he was really tired. “What are you doing?”
“Sleeping. I’m tired and I don’t want you to be out of my sight.” Mona replied quietly before making herself comfortable and shutting her eyes.
Technically, he knew he could leave anytime and she wouldn’t even know. But instead, he pulled off the blanket that was draped over the back of the couch and laid it on the both of them. He looked at Mona, her face relaxed and her breathing turned soft. It amazed him how many expressions she could make, even when she was making none at all and he wanted to see all of them.
So, with his mind hazed with sleep he leaned over and planted a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth.
“Payback.” He whispered and then he saw the corner of her mouth twitch into a smile. Oh fuck, what did he just do?
Before he could go into a crisis about how fucking stupid he was, he heard Monas voice. “You are going to get me breakfast tomorrow.”
And with that, he was okay with it. He leaned back into the couch and let the blanket of sleep wash over him.