Work Text:
2736
AITA for not wanting to talk to my daughter? (self.AmItheAsshole)
My daughter has discovered where I live and moved here. She's constantly trying to talk to me even when I make it clear I don't want to talk. She's even been coming to my job and interrupting my work to try and talk to me. I've been patient in refusing her, but the other day I got really stern and told her to stop following me and trying to talk. She started crying and called me an asshole, which is why I'm here. AITA?
Edit: Yes, I knew her as a child. I was in her life until she was 13. I didn't think that was relevant.
Edit 2: Please stop messaging me about what a terrible father I am.
Edit 3: I am not going to look at this post again and am logging out. I came to ask if I was the asshole, not if I was a deadbeat dad.
1638 comments
frogfrogfrog 846 points
YTA, you abandoned your wife and child, of course you're the asshole.
CheeseCuttingGale 431 points
No kidding
trickydraagon109 points
really buried the lede, there, huh
sa1nt_seir0s 1389 points
NAH, just sit her down and explain that she needs to respect your boundaries. I feel for her, and think you at least owe her one conversation as her father. Explain that this is a surprise to you, that you weren't expecting to suddenly have a kid, and you aren't able to be a father to her. It sounds like you haven't talked to her at all-- maybe she'll calm down after a direct conversation? If she doesn't though, make sure your workplace knows about this so they can protect you from harassment.
aitadaughterfoundme
284 points
Unfortunately, that would not work, as I was in her life until she was 13. The statement about boundaries is helpful, though, thank you.
littlewyverntamer792 points
Wait, you knew about her before? Why did you leave?
aitadaughterfoundme
-103 points
For reasons I'd rather not get into here. I made a mistake I deeply regret.
marxander651 points
You don't think leaving your wife and child is a bigger mistake??? You don't regret that???
fearghuslions13407 points
Do you still talk to your ex-wife at least? She didn't warn you about this at all?
aitadaughterfoundme
-131 points
No, but she's not my ex-wife. As far as I'm aware, we're still legally married.
tearfing92 points
So you ghosted your wife and child? And now that your daughter has found you, you're still ignoring her and hoping she'll go away? And you have to ask us if you're the asshole here?
fear-thedeer60 points
DUDE WTF
yat045 points
YTA, what the hell?
yurius-did-nothing-wrong11 points
I hope this woman isn't waiting for OP and is getting some good dick from someone else
gloucester_mayo7 points
YTA
littlewyverntamer284 points
How old was she when you left?
aitadaughterfoundme
-361 points
13.
fimbulvetrrr161 points
holy shit
PM_ME_UR_BOOBS122 points
YTA
vortas76 points
Dude. DUDE.
heroking8391 points
Why wasn't this in the OP?
aitadaughterfoundme
-203 points
I didn't think it was relevant
eyyrika146x58 points
LOL, "didn't think it was relevant." Nah, you just wanted us to reassure you so you left out the info that made you look bad
griima34 points
OP has to be a troll
bertbert31 points
WTF?????
i_like_ike17 points
Bruh moment
missiletainn -85 points
Why does he owe her a conversation just because she's his daughter? He's made it clear he wants nothing to do with her, she needs to stop pushing for a relationship that isn't going to happen.
youfell 39 points
Look at OP's other comments, he was in her life until she was 13
missiletainn -41 points
He still doesn't owe her a conversation if he doesn't want a relationship anymore. She's being pushy and invasive.
nooseferatu 26 points
>pushy and invasive
because she wants an explanation from her dead-beat dad who walked out on her three years ago?
inigoooat 18 points
jfc, do you have any empathy at all?
pega_sus 203 points
YTA, Is this your daughter? http://reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/mjtp7s/I_16f_finally_tracked_down_my_father_55m_after_he/
kds837 120 points
Damn, that's some serious dedication that OP doesn't deserve.
loogph0natic 78 points
YTA, that poor girl
leoniles 15 points
Does she mention at all why he left? In more detail than OP gives us?
sjbacruy 6 points
something about survivor's guilt. dude needs therapy tbh
letsgolions95 2 points
needing therapy doesn't excuse his being an asshole here
abraxxas 46 points
YTA for trolling
clawshark 23 points
Why do people still comment things like this? The mods have said to report trolls to them instead of commenting shit like this. Crying troll doesn't help anybody.
chromonomnom 9 points
god I so hope this is a troll
pega_sus 5 point
Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be a troll
DBman 114 points
YTA
mercuriousss 68 points
YTA, wtf? of course you're the asshole
ragnellrok -59 points
ESH, you suck for reasons everyone else has already gone into, but your daughter is also an asshole for confronting you at work about it.
kds837 38 points
What else is she supposed to do? Her dad ghosts her, doesn't even bother to divorce her mom, and won't give her the time of day after raising her for 13 years
henwyv27 -47 points
He's said no, he doesn't want to talk. Parents get to have boundaries, too.
GTnoon 13 points
"""boundaries""" YTA
kwumble -142 points
NTA, she should leave you alone. Everyone talks about entitled/narcisstic parents but nobody ever talks about entitled kids
dmazzy 51 points
look at his update, it's YTA
kwumble -43 points
I did, girl needs to leave him alone
chalphy776 24 points
wtf is wrong with you
ghostyghostyboy
score hidden 6 hours ago
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