Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Leandro watches from behind a mask of false bravado and cheer as the ones he has loved for millions of years and thousands of lifetimes come back to life, once again brought back together, even as they wander and live without their memories of who they were, what they had been, of what they could do . He watches as Nafasi comes to be known as Takashi Shirogane, one of the men who will go to Kerberos, one of the men who will be the first to go so far into space on this small planet. Nafasi’s eyes light up as they always have when he speaks of travelling to the Stars, of celestial bodies and nebulas that cast intoxicatingly beautiful color upon the inky black of empty space. Nafasi had never been one to be brought back to planetside without a fight, not when there was an endless universe to explore and dance across, not when his home was so obviously amongst the stars, no matter what lifetime they were in.

He sees Akamu next, just as steadfast and sturdy and caring as he’s always been. Akamu’s home, like the rest of them, had always been in the wide expanse of space, but his was more planetside, discovering the many different forms his home planets had taken over the millenia, as well as bringing happiness and a sense of home to those that lived on them. Akamu walks the Earth now, and she--most planets are almost maternal in their protectiveness--sings her joy and love as he goes about his new mortal life. The only reason flowers and grass do not grow at his feet, or the ground split with a heavy stomp is because he has not yet awakened that power, is not yet powerful enough to contain it, his body too soft, his convictions not yet fully formed. But that power grows with each passing day, each year that creeps by, and Leandro knows that it’s only a matter of time before the trees come to a stand still when he speaks, or that the flowers and bushes find new vitality when he passes by.

Darya comes third, just as inquisitive as she’s always been, and even with short ginger hair and amber eyes hidden behind glasses, he would recognize her anywhere, would be able to pick her out of a crowd just as easily as if they were the only ones in a room. He only meets her once before her brother, a budding powerhouse in his own right, disappears into the depths of space, taking her father with him and Nafasi, and leaving her with only a grieving mother and powers that are barely within her control. No answers, no one trustworthy enough to trust the words that spill from their mouths, and the thing is, she’s right not to trust anyone, not even himself or Akamu. And sometimes, despite--or perhaps because of --her short stature, she sometimes seems to almost burst at the seams with power, and he remembers that she was always like a supernova, burning far too brightly, and burning out too soon, sometimes.

He hadn’t recognized him at first, he’s so different from every other reincarnation, after all, but when he stops to really look at Keith Kogane the night they meet by coincidence when saving Nafasi, he realizes that this is the man that he has always ended up with. The man he’s spent his life with, the man that had equal parts intrigued and infuriated him throughout the millennium, the eons of lives across the universe. Sometimes he had only gotten fleeting glimpses of the others, but this man had been the one constant. And he hates himself for not recognizing this man, just as he also realizes that it’s not his fault, this human brain of his can barely register the sheer number of lives he’s lived, and can barely make heads or tails of the way Anatole has changed from just their last life.

He’s jagged, cracked, pieces of him are chipping away and falling into a void, and Leandro’s not exactly sure how to fix this . Because once, they were nearly immortal, powers vast and immense, and they had been happy. They’d travelled the universe together, once upon a time, breathing in the vacuum of space just as effortlessly as they did the oxygen on their home planet. And then, someone had betrayed their colony, their planet, and the destruction of their planet had led to the realization that their source of almost immortality had been destroyed or stolen, and that they were stuck in an endless cycle of reincarnation. But this had never happened before. Occasionally, one of them had had a difficult time keeping their memories in order, and some details were murky at best--only to be expected, when you had spent millions of years alive and reincarnating--but never had any of them forgotten , especially not all of them.

He silently worries as he watches Nafa-no, Shiro sleep on a beat up old couch, in a shack that’s held together with prayers and cryptid patterned duct tape, thousands of miles from his family and his home in Cuba. He wants to go back to them, protect them from the inevitable danger, but he also knows that by this point, it’s better to stay away , no matter how much it hurts. “It’ll be okay, he’ll wake up soon, Lance.” Hunk murmurs, careful to avoid drawing Pidge’s attention, who’s buried in her laptop, the light glinting off of her brother’s glasses.

“I know, Hunk, this is just… A lot to take in, you know?” Not the whole truth, but not a complete lie, either. Hell yeah, he’s making progress.

…That’s a little bit sad, if he’s being honest with himself. Which he’s not, because ha, no thanks.

~*~*~

“Leandro?” Allura asks breathlessly, and when he nods, she lets out a delighted laugh, twirling him through the air like he used to do for her, when she was just a little slip of a girl, and he feels his bad mood dissipate as he grins like a fool right back. There’s nothing romantic in this moment, nor does he want there to be, not when he’s technically older than her, and has his soulmate--or the closest thing to it--only a few rooms away, but it’s definitely good to see her again, even if it had been ten thousand years for him, and seems to have only been a few decaphoebs for her.

“It’s good to see you again, princess, although I do wish it was under more… Favorable circumstances. How are you and your dad holding up?” Her smile flickers and fades into something somber, and while he feels guilty, he knows she needs to talk about this. If she doesn’t, her anger over the death of her father will warp her and her actions, as well as the bonds she holds with others. It will taint her wish to bring peace to the universe by defeating the Galra, and it will make her unwavering, and all the more likely to break because of it.

She needs to properly process this grief, not shun it, like he did, as he watched his friends wither and die, their power being subconsciously repressed after the loss of their planet, until the stress killed them. He’d been the last to go, had lasted nearly a decade after Darya, and had burned their remains in pure white flames, because even after death, their species’ bodies had remained intact, and because of this, the Taonga--living and dead--were often sold on black markets. He’d died, cold, alone, and oh so afraid deep in the core of a Balmera, and as everything had gone black, he’d heard the ground beneath his body cry out, even as it crumbled, dumping him into its molten hot core.

“Leandro, what’s wrong?” Allura asks, and he shakes his head, as if trying to physically dismiss the memories, because as much as he wants to, he can’t talk to anyone about this, not when his four constant companions have forgotten everything--forgotten him , a dark part of his mind whispers--and the last two Alteans are far too traumatized to try to help him with his own trauma. 

“It’s nothing, Allura, I promise. Now tell me, what was it Coran and your father did for their wedding? They got married shortly after I left, right? I’m sorry I didn’t get to see it, I’m sure it was beautiful.” It’s an obvious change of subject, but luckily, Allura’s a better person than him, so she drops it, smiling as she looks into the distance, seeing something lost to time, something that now only exists in her and Coran’s memories. At some point, they’d migrated to the couch, so he flops down onto his back with his head in her lap, like she used to do with him when she was younger.

His eyes are closed, but they flash open with a flair of bright blue when the door slides open, and he lands in a defensive position in front of Allura, only to laugh awkwardly when he sees Shiro blinking in shock. “Sorry, Shiro, it’s been a long day.” The man nods, more than a little uncertain, looking far too curious for Leandro to sleep easy.

~*~*~

At first, the flashes are brief, and can easily be shaken off as dreams, so he doesn’t think about them much. But then he starts noticing how sad Lance looks when he thinks no one else is looking, or sometimes, when he’s just talking to them, and that look starts to invade his dreams, and the looks morph a little, and the pitch of his voice changes, and then, oh.

Something clicks in the middle of battle with Keith at his right, Lance on Keith’s right, and the memories come flooding back. It takes all he has to not hurl right there in Black’s cockpit, especially when he remembers seeing their destroyed planet, the hundreds of dead friends, family, comrades, and strangers that floated in the void of space, insultingly intact. He remembers that Akamu had died first, quickly followed by his brother , Anatole, and he himself had been drowning in his grief, so even though Leandro was half a millennium younger than himself, Leandro had burned their bodies in white flames.

And then , he had died as well, leaving Leandro to care for Darya, leaving Leandro to burn another body.

They had come back to life only a few decaphoebs after Leandro had died, and had found each other all over again, but when they reunited, Leandro had changed. Before, he had been outgoing, had been charismatic and loving, and had adored taking care of children and his family, but after they reunited, it had become an obsession, one the rest of them had worried about. He had--

“SHIRO!” Leandro? Oh no, was he dying, again? Was he leaving his little brother alone to burn his remains, again? “It’s okay, Shiro. It’s okay, come back to us, alright? Keith is looking like an angry kitten, and Pidge looks like she’s about to commit arson, and I’d honestly rather not be alone to deal with the fallout.” Keith? Pidge? Who were--Oh. Anatole and Darya. He was Nafasi, reborn as Takashi Shirogane, and Leandro had been reborn as Lance McClain. Right. He's Got This, he can Totally Human right now. Yup, absolutely.

“Getting a flood of memories,” He croaks as he forces his eyelids open, looking up at the top of Black’s cockpit--and also up Leandro’s nose--where the lights are thankfully dimmed. “Is the worst experience, and I’m counting your ability to properly dictate what counts as ‘fun’ in that analysis.” Anatole and Darya are missing from the cockpit, but Leandro’s eyes are literally glowing with relief. “You’re terrible at controlling your eyes. Stop making them glow, Leandro.”

The blue glow flickers, then strengthens, and suddenly, he has a lap full of lanky, sobbing teenager, and Keith comes running into the cockpit, only to freeze in shock at the sight. “Alright, alright, Leandro. I’m okay, it’s all okay, so please try to stop my little brother from killing me with his eyes, alright?”

Leandro pulls back, eyes narrowed, even as tears continue to spill from them. “He’s not going to get the chance, because I’m going to kill you, first. Whatever happened to being Space Dad, you insensitive jerk?” Keith looks confused as Leandro gracefully pulls himself to his feet, takes Keith’s arm, and drags him from Black.

“Takashi, what’s--?” Keith asks, but Leandro just clicks his tongue as he makes an obvious attempt to pull himself together, using the excuse of wiping away tears to hide the way his eyes glow a bright, violent blue.

“I was all worried for nothing, clearly you two brothers are far too similar for my own good. Both of you are so emotionally constipated, and it’s killing me , Mullet. Killing. Me.” With that, he sashays out of Black's cockpit, leaving Naf--no, Takashi, to comfort his little brother, who's trying not to look as shaken as he so obviously is. Well, at least this means Allura will probably go a little easy on him tomorrow in training. (He doubts it, and telling Keith means the brat laughs right in his face, but a guy can dream, dammit.)

Chapter Text

Shiro retreats to his quarters after giving Keith a half-baked excuse of a headache and exhaustion from their fight, and Keith can only watch him go with narrowed eyes and rising suspicion. He’d seen Lance crying in his brother’s lap, he could’ve even sworn he saw Lance’s eyes glowing, and Keith wanted to know why. Lance knows Shiro has a fiancé waiting back at the Garrison- at least, kind of- so he’s torn between wondering if Lance and Shiro have suddenly gotten closer when Keith hadn’t been looking, or if-.

But, no, it couldn’t be that, right? Lance was the biggest playboy he’d ever had the displeasure of meeting, and anyone with eyes can see the way Shiro’s eyes soften when he talks about Adam. Surely Lance can’t be in love with his brother, right? (His heart hurts at the thought, but he resolutely ignores that in favor of going over the facts available to him.)

Shiro has been disgustingly in love with Adam longer than Keith has known him, and if there’s one thing Keith knows about his brother, it’s that he’s not one to so easily stop loving someone once he’s decided to care about them.

But on the other hand, the last time Shiro and Adam had talked, they’d gotten into a fight that led to Adam taking his engagement ring off and shoving it into Shiro’s chest as he stormed off. (Adam had retrieved it from Shiro’s quarters at the Garrison when he’d been pronounced dead, but still.)

Shiro continued to look just as soft as he always had when talking about Adam, though now it was tinged with a deep sadness that Keith knows he cannot get rid of. He’d sometimes manage to distract his brother from it, but at the end of the day, it’s always there; tucked between missing his mother’s presence, and the screams and torture of being a prisoner of the Galra for over a year.

As he wanders through the cold depths of the Castle, he finds himself coming to one inevitable conclusion. Lance is in love with his brother. When he finally emerges within the populated levels of the ship, it’s been nearly a full day, and his brother is still in his room- except this time with Lance.

He doesn’t know which part of that situation hurts the most, but he thinks he's going to go with all of it.

~*~*~

She’s not a genius when it comes to people. She prefers the straightforward nature of technology, the simplicity of everything being written right there for her to read and make sense of. She’s also far too used to wondering about the things a person isn’t saying, too used to being in places where it’s the things you don’t say that make the biggest impact. So, when Lance and Shiro suddenly seem much closer over the course of a single night, she’s left wondering if she’d missed something.

If there’s something Shiro had done differently than the rest of them to get Lance to open up to him so much. It’s not that Lance is a secretive person, but he often deflects questions directed at him about anything other than his family.

She notices, but she doesn’t bring it up because it’s not like she has any room to talk. She’s got so many secrets she thinks she may burst at the seams if she doesn’t say something to someone, anyone. She respects his privacy, just as much as it frustrates her, because some nagging part of her wants to know what Shiro did, what he changed about their dynamic to bring about such a quick change in Lance. Her thoughts about the matter are derailed when Keith, their resident emo, comes stumbling into the kitchen, hair an entire disaster, and his clothes looking like they haven’t been washed in a week.

He pauses just in the doorway, eyes locked on Lance and Shiro talking and laughing as they play an Altean version of Monopoly that has way more rules and is far more vicious than the Earth version. Something clouds his eyes, although he’s quick to duck his head and let the mop he calls hair fall over his eyes as he walks towards the fridge.

“Hey, mullet, did you want to join us? Shiro and I just learned how to play this recently, so I’m totally getting my butt kicked over here. I don’t think Shiro would mind restarting the game.” Lance looks towards Keith, a painful sort of hope in his eyes that makes Pidge want to cry. There’s no concrete reason as to why, as far as she knows, but something in her hurts to see him reaching out when she’s pretty sure they all know what Keith’s answer will be.

“No.” Is all Keith replies, his back tight as he digs something out of the depths of the fridge before grabbing a spoon and hauling ass back out of the room. She sees his eyes turn glassy as he passes by, and then turns to Lance to see his hand half raised in Keith’s direction- as if hoping to make him stop, eyes so hurt and confused that she can’t bear to look any longer.

With a sigh, she closes her laptop and makes her way to the other end of the long dining table. “Alright, how do you play? I’m going to take you for all you’re worth, McClain.” Her tone sounds more than a little forced, even to her ears, but the grateful look Lance shoots her way is more than enough to make up for the loss of research time. He ruffles her hair when she gets close enough, further assuring her that she’d made the right choice.

And, two hours later, as Hunk enters the kitchen area looking an absolute wreck and stress baking, a cackling Pidge recounts her glorious victory over Lance and Shiro, making the Samoan smile faintly as their friends complain loudly—and good naturedly—about how Pidge cheated her entire way through the game. “Sorry, but this victory goes to yours truly.” She gives them a mischievous grin, struck with an idea. “Perhaps we could do teams, next time?”

That night, she wakes up screaming, a name just on the tip of her tongue and the feeling of urgency. They need to leave, they need to go, but she doesn’t know where they need to go, or why. Instead of saying anything about this instinct, however, she instead pulls her laptop to her lap.

She needs to find Matt.

She can’t afford to focus on the feeling of what’s almost static electricity, can’t allow herself to get distracted by the urge to take Green and fly as far and fast as she can to an unknown destination. She’s not Keith, after all.

~*~*~

Hunk wakes up with a raging headache and the knowledge that something is wrong. Moments later, he hears an announcement over the broadcasting system. “Paladins, please meet in the Bridge at once. Green is missing, and Pidge is unaccounted for.”

Oh fuck.