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Tommy Big Boss Man Innit shambled into the room like the mega Chad he was. Tuberculosis and Ranbobble sprung up from the couch like a couple of springs or some shit idk and crab raved over towards the boi.
"Tommy" tubbo said, mouth opening up like a little sock puppet he's a sick puppet here they are all puppets imagine a bunch of sock puppets rn do it u lovely little goober you. "Tommy i wish to engage with you in a strictly platonic manner."
"Nay" ran shouted while shaking about wildly with his head thrown back. "I shall claim the golden boy for me own! No you! Never! He is mine! Mine, I say!"
Tommy stared in awestruck mildly entranced platonic adoration as the two hubbies began ducking it out like proper going at it I mean really they are fighting over this boy. Tubbo does a god damn mother trunkin kick flip over the couch on a fuckin nuke! Ranboo is doing his best impression of spamson g spamson from deltrarune chapter 2. Gender man be Wilding. Proper spazzing out all over the place. He doing a loud ass scream. Like damn. No chill. No chill at all.
Tommy sits in the corner watching the shit unfold with some good ass popcorn good for him he deserves it. And them, in a beacon of holy light, down from the heavens above, comes XD, wine glass in hand.
"Boy Child" they say
"Father person" Tommy replies
"Boy Child What Is Happening"
"Ranbibble and toobly are fighting over me again and it's very entertaining would u like to watch father person?"
"Yes Child I Would Like That Very Much Please"
"You are drunk rn correct father person?"
"Yes Very Much So"
"Is that why you're talking like that?"
"Also Correct When Under The Influence Of Alcohol I Start Kinning Queen From Deltrarune"
"Is that Canon to HWHBH? Also hi reader people it's me HWBH!Tommy yes I have gained self awareness through the power of crack do not worry I am only mildly terrified and devastated by the fact that my whole existence serves as entertainment for you no really I'm fine I promise help me please help me please oh gods please why"
"The Drunk Bit May Be Canon Because Sunlit Has Run Out Of Ideas And Is Just Fucking Around(jk he has plenty of ideas dw)"
Tubbo screeched as ranboo rambooed into him and they both fell down into a pile of idk,,,,,,pillows! Yes! Fics over go home