Chapter Text
Julie never thought shopping was relaxing. But, God, Carrie was right. It was therapeutic in a weird way.
“Uh, this one would look great on you.” Carrie lifted a hanger and placed it in front of Julie's body, analyzing it.
She couldn't deny that the piece was very beautiful. A sleeveless dress in an oil-blue hue that came down to just before her knee. The beading on the neckline reminded her of her quinceañera dress, but with a less puffy skirt.
“Honey, I think you found the gold. - Flynn agreed. - It'll look perfect with my black strappy heels or that leather boot. Pair that with a jacket, and you're all set for family Christmas. It's still happening, right?
Ah, yes, the Molina-Sánchez Christmas, a tradition of her mother's.
Rose believed that Christmas was about life and nothing was better than being with family. So she made sure to unite the Sánchez and Molina families living in the United States in one big party. Bringing the Mexican and Puerto Rican parts of her family together was chaotic and a little exhausting, but also fun.
Without Rose, Christmas had been hard. It still was, but it was slowly getting better. It would be the second party without her.
“Yes, it is happening, and that dress is beautiful.” Julie ran her fingers through the smooth, soft fabric, but stopped when she saw the price tag. “And totally out of my budget. What kind of a steal is that? Maybe in another life.”
“Great, that'll be your Christmas present.”
Leaving no room for discussion, Carrie tossed the dress along with the others hanging from her arm and walked off. Julie didn't know why she was surprised. They were in one of the fancy stores Wilson liked, it was predictable she'd do something like that.
“That was so hot.”, Flynn muttered and Julie looked at her in disbelief. “What? I'm only human. And you're the last person who can judge me.”
“Why? I didn't do anything to get attacked like that. I didn't do anything to get attacked like that.”
“Oh, yeah? I'll remind you of that the next time I have to be in the same room with you and the loverboy while he has some instrument in his hands. You give off sparks.”
She made an explosion movement with her hands and walked out after her girlfriend with a cocky grin on her face. Julie was dumbfounded for a moment before she hurried to catch up with them.
“Willie’s still meeting us?”, Carrie asked.
“No change of plans so far. He said that, if the gallery meeting was delayed, he would let us know and meet us at the house.”, Julie stated, checking her phone. No messages from Willie.
“I still can't believe he can actually get that art exhibition. And without my help.” She didn't know if Flynn was happy or outraged. Maybe a little of both.
“And I don't believe he will willingly leave that thin environment and submit to the dictates of your tyrannical aunt.”
“Care, you promised you were going to behave.” The blonde rolled her eyes at her girlfriend's scolding and went back to the checkout to pay for the clothes.
“And Tía Victoria isn't always so bad. It's the first time the Christmas party will be at our house in years and Reggie's not here to help her organize it. She's just a little overstressed.”
“So she gets controlling when she is stressed. It's nothing we can't handle.”, Flynn agreed with her friend. “Just get in the Christmas spirit.”
“At least I can help with my good taste to make that house look stunning. Your family will die of envy.”
“Again, you're missing the point, dear. It's to get the house ready for Christmas, it has nothing to do with envy.”
Julie admired Flynn's efforts to help Carrie be less selfish and overbearing. Overall, the blonde had improved a lot, but it was hard to change much the essence of a person.
“Carrie's right this time. My family can get a little competitive with decorations. And I can't wait to see the jealous looks on cousin Rebecca's face when she sees Luke with me.”
“Is that the nagging cousin? And who thinks she can do anything?”
“Yes, she.” Julie nodded, a little proud that Flynn had remembered. It was possible that she had complained a little too much about her cousin. “From the first time she met Luke she was a little too enamored with him. And every party he goes to, she tries to be alone with him in a corner. It's painful to see her hitting on him.”
“Painful in general or just for you?”
“A little of both.", she admitted, and a smug smile appeared on Flynn's face. “But you would understand what I'm saying if you saw the desperation in his eyes to get away from her insistence.”
“So you want to rub it in her face that her chances, which were already non-existent, are over for good?”
“Rubbing is a very strong word. I'm just going to spend the Christmas party with my boyfriend very handsome and charming and who will soon return from the tour.”
“You will rub it in her face.”, Carrie affirmed her girlfriend's words. “How is that any different than me wanting to provoke jealousy with my decor?”
“The difference is the evolution of life.”, Flynn began to explain and Julie held back her laughter. “You, my love, are evolving to be more selfless and kind. Julie on the other hand has the evolution to be a little more selfish with what she wants and think more of herself.”
“That's a load of shit.” Carrie smiled politely at the attendant and picked up the bags. “What do you guys think about us eating cake?”
“I love when you act like my sugar mommy.”
Flynn picked up some of her girlfriend's bags and grabbed her free hand. Julie rolled her eyes fondly and followed them out of the store. She wouldn't deny free cake and wouldn't question her friend's fetishes.
“I can't stand Christmas shopping anymore. And my mom wants me to go with her to look at some plants for her relatives.”, Flynn complained.
“At least you're getting away from all the tofu most of the time.”, Julie tried to point out the bright side.
“At this point, I'm almost preferring tofu. I stayed away from home and when I come back the first thing my mom thinks about is taking me to buy plants. As if our house didn't already look like a jungle.”
“Maybe you should embrace the plants’ search. Your mom's probably looking forward to spending time with you.”, Carrie advised, but Julie could hear a hint of bitterness in her voice.
She couldn't judge. Carrie's mother had never been very good. But since the divorce, she barely gave any news to her daughter. Trevor tried hard to give Carrie attention and affection, but often failed, and it seemed he tried to make up for it with money. They didn't come close to being the best parents.
“And how's your Christmas shopping going, Julie?”, Carrie changed the subject.
“Better than I imagined. I got almost everything. I even got the Pearl Jam vinyl for Bobby, the limited edition drumsticks for Alex, and a cookbook for Reggie.”
“You must have spent a lot of money on that.”, Flynn looked impressed. “How did you manage it?”
“I bargained a lot. And Reg's I called both parts of my family and handmade the book. I spent all my free time on it.”
And she really had. She spent several days transcribing the recipes and decorating the pages with drawings and now all that was left was to finish. She didn't even know how she had managed to do so much in such a short time, but she knew her brother would love it.
“But I'm stuck on Luke's.", she assumed with a groan.
“It can't be that bad. I mean, you've known each other for so long and you know what he likes.”
“I know that, but it's different. What do you give for Christmas to your current boyfriend who has been your friend for so long?”
“Honey, I don't know why you're so worried. That boy of yours breathes and lives music, you do it together, just think what he would want.” Flynn really couldn't think it was that easy.
“But I can't just give him a new songbook. I did that last year and it's no big deal.” Julie really wanted to be less exhausted, but it was an issue that was bothering her. “And I gave him a new guitar strap for our six-month anniversary and bought him custom picks for his birthday, which I haven't even had a chance to give him yet.”
“Jules, breathe.” Flynn released Carrie's hand and turned to her friend, holding her shoulders. Julie followed her advice and took a deep breath. “Even if you didn't give Luke anything, it would be fine. But if you insist, he'll like anything you give him. Almost literally. What matters is not the gift itself, but that you thought of him.”
“And you're thinking about each other all the time.”, Carrie commented and her girlfriend gave her an exasperated look. “What? It's true! If you turned to him and told him his Christmas present was a whole afternoon in the studio free for the two of you, he'd jump for joy.”
“Care is right. Then you don't have to worry.” A mischievous little smile appeared on Flynn's face. “You can always buy a band shirt at the bazaar, too. He has fun cutting the sleeves off.”
“It's crappy advice, but I appreciate it.”
Julie thought it was a bit unfair to have helped Flynn and Carrie with the gifts for each other and Willie for Alex, but did not get any good suggestions in her turn. But that was okay. She would come to some conclusion or let despair overwhelm her. One way or another, she would get her boyfriend a good Christmas present.
Now they had to keep moving. It must have looked very strange to have three women standing in the middle of the mall corridor. And it was very likely that they were getting in the way.
But she was stopped from encouraging Flynn and Carrie to move on.
“Julie Molina?”, a voice asked before the three could keep walking.
Julie frowned and raised her head in search of the source of the sound. She couldn’t see anything besides people hurrying along and holding bags. But she had heard her name being called. Had she gone mad?
“Oh my god!”, the same voice exclaimed and Julie looked around. A girl was walking towards her with a slightly uncertain step, but also bouncy. “Are you... are you Julie Molina?”
A girl with short red hair stopped in front of her. Some nervous energy surrounded her and her green eyes had a gleam of admiration. She appeared to be two or three years younger than Julie and was making her very confused.
“I am? And you are…”
“B-Bianca.” She stepped forward and Julie cracked a warm smile. “I... I can't believe I'm meeting you. You're so much prettier in person.”
“Thank you.” She looked confused at Flynn and Carrie, hoping they knew what was going on, but they didn't seem to understand either. “Where do you know me from again?”
“I saw your singing video that the boys from Sunset Curve shared and I couldn't stop watching the others that were on your profile. Your voice is... it's magic.”
She felt her cheeks turn red at the compliment. Several people had told her how good her voice was, Luke countless times, but it still made her embarrassed.
“And I... I wanted to thank you too.” Bianca bowed her head, playing with her hands. “That last video of yours… the emotion and the lyrics really helped me. It inspired me, and I really needed it.”
Julie's heart swelled at the statement. Was this how the boys felt? That feeling of accomplishment and pride? It was intoxicating for sure, but there was also something more to it that she couldn't put into words.
“I'm glad to hear that.”
“Can I take a picture with you?”
After Julie nodded, the whole interaction happened too fast for her bewildered brain. One minute she was posing in front of a cell phone camera and the next she was alone with Carrie and Flynn in the hallway.
“What just happened?”, she asked in a low voice. Flynn's hands heaved on her shoulders and her head positioned itself next to Julie's.
“You, my dear, have just been recognized for the first time.”
“How are you feeling?” Carrie mimicked her girlfriend's position on the other side of her friend.
It wasn't something Julie could answer. Her insides were a confusing mess. She felt... She felt...
“Cake.” She felt the couple's expression change, their smiles falling and confusion taking over. “I need cake and to go home. Willie can meet us there.” Carrie and Flynn's slight shock allowed Julie to pull away and walk back, now in some haste. The sugar and the drive home were sure to help her get her feelings in order.
Except that's not what happened.
When Carrie parked the convertible in front of the Molina house, Julie's feelings were still an unidentified mass. There were so many that it was leaving her confused as to whether it was a good sign. Even the therapy of savoring the piece of cake hadn't been helpful.
“What do you mean you don't know yet?”
“I don't know how I could be more clear, Flynn.”
Her friend was outraged at the lack of clarification, but Julie could do nothing about it. She had no objective answers.
Entering the house was like a breath of fresh air with the smell of Mexican food. She managed to catch a glimpse of boxes of Christmas decorations in the living room before following the sound of conversation in the kitchen.
“But, Jules!” Flynn followed her hurriedly, with Carrie right behind. “It's such a special, simple thing. It's a milestone in your career! There's no way you just don't know what you're feeling!”
“Feeling what, mi hija ?”
Julie looked exasperatedly at her friend as she heard her aunt's voice. She closed her eyes for a moment before smiling and wandering further into the kitchen.
Her father was sitting at the table in front of his own computer, but not looking focused on work. Willie and Carlos were decorating cookies on the counter while Victoria was surrounded by pots and a wooden spoon in her hand. In the corner of the counter was a computer, positioned so as to capture everyone's image, on which she could see Reggie.
“Look, everyone's here!”, she exclaimed, before approaching his father for a hug. “Hola, Papi .”
“You don't know how good it is to see you home, mi hija . Have you come to stay?”
“Not yet. I have a test on Monday and one last paper due Tuesday. Then I'll be free.”
She gave her father one last squeeze and walked over to the counter, ignoring Flynn's boring look and crossed arms.
“That smells really good, Tía. And you should cut back on the frosting, Carlos. The intention is still to be able to taste the cookies.”
“You're the one with no taste. Willie and Reg agree with me.”
“Leave me out of this.” Willie held up his hands with a smile on his face.
“And you know I would normally agree, little man, but your snowman is just frosting at this point.” Julie couldn't hold back her laughter at the betrayed look Carlos directed at Reggie. “Hey, Julie! It's not like I saw you yesterday.”
“I know, Reg. I miss you. Where are you guys now?”
“Waiting to get to the airport for the flight to Mexico City. Bobby is sleeping and Luke dragged Alex to a convenience store, but they should be back soon.”
“ Mi hija , I know what you're doing.”, Victoria scolded her and Julie could hear Flynn's grateful sigh. “But I haven't forgotten what Flynn said.”
“And you guys even canceled on me at the mall. Not cool.”, Willie complained.
“So you can go ahead and talk. What's all this feeling stuff?”, Tía demanded, and before Julie could say anything, Flynn took the lead.
“Julie was recognized for the first time today and she doesn't want to talk about what it felt like.”
“Recognized? What do you mean?”, Ray put into words the confusion that surrounded everyone.
“We were walking in the mall and this girl came in, recognizing Julie.”, Carrie said, putting an arm around her girlfriend. “She complimented her voice, said she started watching her videos on Instagram when the boys shared them on their profile and asked for a picture.”
“Really?” Reggie seemed to have the happiness of a child who got what he wanted for his birthday.
“ ¡Que felicidad, mi hija! ” Ray wasted no time in engulfing his daughter in a strong hug.
“I can't believe I missed it.” Willie shook his head in disappointment and a smile appeared on Julie's face.
“That's incredible, sobrina ! Tell me all about it. How was it?”, Tía's exultant tone and her bright, wide-open eyes were disarming.
“It was pretty quick. She said that my video singing Wake Up inspired her and helped her at a time when she needed it.” Her father's arms tightened around her.
“And…”, Flynn prodded her and Julie rolled her eyes. She loved her friend, but she didn't know when to stop pushing.
“And it was nice to know that I had that impact on one person. It was fulfilling, in some ways. But it was also strange. As if... As if…”
“Like it was a mistake? Like you didn't deserve it because you didn't really do it?”, Reggie translated in an understanding tone. All eyes focused on the computer.
“That's it!", she exclaimed, pointing a finger at her older brother. It was impressive that he had managed to put into words how she felt. “I was very happy, of course, but it wasn't right. It's not my song. It was for me, but it's mom's. I just sang it.”
“But your voice is a gift to humanity.” Flynn walked over and stopped in front of Julie, grabbing her shoulders. “Okay, the lyrics are your mother's, but it's you singing, your emotions that make the difference. And it's just not your songs because you haven't released them yet. So just accept your impact and your greatness.”
“Flynn is right, mi hija . And this recognition also means that you're getting to spread your mother's legacy. That's very special.” Ray gave her daughter's shoulder a squeeze and she smiled.
They were right. That didn't erase the weirdness, but it made it easier to embrace.
“And how do you know your sister felt that way?”, Victoria questioned Reggie, with a suspicious expression. “Has that ever happened to you, Reginald?”
“It's kind of hard not to happen.” He shrugged as if he didn't care. “We all help with the songwriting, write our own parts, give suggestions and stuff, but in the end, the lyrics are Luke's. And now Julie's too. And now Julie's too. But I don't really care.” A playful smile stood out on his face. “It's important, you know. It helps keep me humble. Otherwise, no one would have any competition with my flirting.” Reggie wiggled his eyebrows mischievously, which provoked laughter from everyone in the kitchen and lightened the mood.
“I can't believe my family of recognized artists is growing.”, Ray commented, with a smile on his face despite his slightly wistful tone. “I'm so proud of you guys.”
“And it's only going to get bigger.” Willie was overjoyed next to Carlos. “Because I got the exposure at that gallery!”
If before the Molina house was in the early stages of Christmas preparations, now it seemed as if the celebration itself was taking place. It had been so long since Julie had seen her family so excited and it warmed her heart.
But as happy as she was, the party that followed at the house was incomplete. And for the first time, she wasn't talking about Rose, because her mother might not be there in body, but Julie could feel her presence. The empty space she could feel was the one occupied by the boys.
The longing had never been so big, which was ironic considering that just a little more and they would be back. But maybe that was the reason. It was already six months away and she had endured it better than she could have imagined, of course right at the final stretch the longing would hit harder. And that only became clearer when she was talking to Luke that night.
Cheesy Rockstar
HOW DID I HEAR FROM THE REG THAT YOU WERE RECOGNIZED????
AN OUTRAGE
I didn't even know you knew what outrage means
Cheesy Rockstar
you think so little of me
but I did some research
And you're swerving
that's amazing!
but it would have been better if it was you telling
Reg asked me to tell
he said he wanted to see your "silly" face
his words
Cheesy Rockstar
how was it?
good
strange
rewarding
I can get used to it
Cheesy Rockstar
of course you can
this will still happen a lot in your future
It would have been better if you'd been with me
but then all eyes would turn to you
Cheesy Rockstar
I know I'm wonderful
but impossible to overshadow you
you are already the sun
and you're too charming for your own good
but I really wish you were there
I miss you so much
Cheesy Rockstar
I miss you too
very
very
But before you know it I'm back again
-------------------------
Julie had never been so happy to get into her dorm room. Her Monday was terrible and all she needed was a night of rest, which would start with a good shower.
That last test had wiped out all of her ability to reason, but she had still managed to go to the last few classes of that day. It didn’t mean that she had learned anything. It was possible that she couldn't absorb anything even if she wanted to. Julie just hoped that the work would go smoothly.
How wrong she was.
She had never seen that coffee shop so crowded. Most of the customers had come in seeking shelter from the rain, which had started without warning, and took the opportunity to also get a hot drink to placate the cold. Well, the Californian cold. It had been enough people to keep all the staff busy, and it was more interaction than she had wished for.
So much for a quiet day at work.
At least, with the semester over, many people had already finished their classes and left for the holidays. That meant the building was pretty empty and no one stood between her and her much deserved hot bath. And, God, did she enjoy every second of it.
When Julie returned to her room, in her dinosaur shirt and flowered pants, she felt a million times lighter and ready to get a night's rest. And alone.
Flynn had taken advantage of the end of her classes to have a romantic evening with Carrie. She had even taken Bobby's van for this, which Julie didn't understand. The blonde's aversion to the car was common knowledge, but she decided not to ask. Those two could have some very strange fetishes.
With privacy, she had nothing better than to spend the evening in the company of her second favorite Flynn. While Julie waited for her laptop to turn on, she checked the mini-fridge in the corner of the room for something to eat. It had nothing but bottles of water, and her stomach rumbled.
If there was one thing she loved, it was watching Tangled with her favorite bowl of ice cream. But she was too comfortable in her clothes to go to the market two blocks away.
If she put on a big coat, she might be able to walk to the taco truck, three buildings ahead, without too much embarrassment. But Julie wasn't in the slightest mood to go out and she didn't have any car to go to a drive-through.
Ah, it would be really nice to spoil herself with unhealthy foods. Maybe she should order something by an app.
However, before she could come to any conclusion, three knocks sounded on her door. Julie's frown creased in confusion. This was unexpected and new.
Flynn and Carrie couldn't be, and even if were they, they wouldn't hit. Willie was also unlikely. And her family wouldn't show up unannounced and without a reason. Would it be someone from the building? Any of the girls needing to borrow some product?
Well, she wouldn't get any answers if she just kept speculating. Julie hurried to open the door and then stopped.
“Anybody here ordered a delivery?”
Julie felt her body paralyzed for a moment. Her eyes widened and her heart raced. Every word she knew died in her mouth and her blood seemed to flutter with the butterflies of her stomach.
There was no way. Was she dreaming? Had her vision gotten bad enough to create a mirage? No, it didn't make sense even to her. And not even with her glasses would she be able to create such a vivid image.
But everything was so precise. The unassuming stance against the wall beside the door was so familiar it filled Julie's heart. The old sneakers, the beat-up jeans with chains, and the sleeveless shirt beneath the orange flannel passed on so much comfort. And, God, she couldn't even begin to speak of the loving smile and mischievous twinkle in his eyes that kept changing color.
It was a set that surely represented some threat to human sanity. But, damn, how she loved that set. And it was there, right in front of her. As real as it had been six months earlier.
“Are you going to get your delivery or what? It's a little weird standing here in the hallway of your room with you just staring at me.”
That statement was the trigger for a wide grin to tear across Julie's face and an excited cry to escape her throat. With the sense of wonder over, she didn't hesitate to move against the man in a full-body hug.
A laugh reverberated through his body and strong arms encircled her. She sank her face into his neck for a moment and the tips of his brown hair tickled her. The smell of sweat, deodorant, and metal intoxicated her and, damn, she'd never been happier for it.
Julie pulled away far enough to see his face. She wanted to know everything: when, how, why. But Luke's face was so bright and happy and relieved that she couldn't resist capturing his lips in a kiss before asking any questions.
It was as if fireworks exploded inside her when their mouths clashed without any gentleness. And he seemed to crave it as much as she did if the way he responded with such enthusiasm was any indication.
Julie was aware that they were still in the hallway, but she couldn't care enough and locked her legs even tighter around his hips. She could only focus on the sparks running through her body and Luke's mouth, hungry against hers. His hands were warm on her, one supporting one of her thighs and the other running down her back and looking a little rough.
When his tongue made its way between her lips, Julie couldn't suppress a moan from deep in her throat. She couldn't believe how good a kiss felt after six months. And she decided to match the reaction, tangling her fingers in Luke's hair and giving it a tug. That generated a sigh from him and a shiver in her.
“Go to your room, both of you!”, exclaimed a passerby and it was enough for Julie's lips to slide away from Luke's.
A dumbfounded giggle resounded in her chest as she rested her forehead against her boyfriend's. He was right there. She couldn't believe he was there. So solid and warm and underneath her. Oh, god, he was under her. Julie had jumped on him and climbed on him like he was a climber.
“You know, I wouldn't normally agree with whoever interrupted us.”, Luke said, interrupting her spiraling moment. His voice was husky, but it reached her like a caress. “But we're in the hall, and the ice cream might melt or the fries might get cold and crushed.”
“Ice cream and french fries?”
Had he read her mind? Julie wasted no time in getting down from Luke's arms and staggered a little as she put her feet back on the ground. It was a strange feeling not having him between her legs anymore. In a non-sexual way, her brain made sure to complete.
He lifted the hand that was on her back so she could see the brown bag. So that was the rough feeling.
“I couldn't show up empty-handed.” Julie cracked a smile and grabbed his hand that still held the bag, pulling him into the room with her.
“You know how to please a person.” She took the bag from him and inspected the inside. The smell that wafted up made her mouth water. “Oh my God, you bought french fries with cheese and bacon! And mint chocolate chip ice cream. How could you be so perfect?”
“It's for sharing.”
“And there lies imperfection.” She laughed at his grimace and rose for a quick kiss. “I should put the ice cream on Hannah.”
“Hannah?”
“Our minibar.” She pointed to the red object next to the wall.
“Can you guys have a minibar in here?”
“Probably not. But Flynn fell in love with it when we went through a garage sale and was adamant about keeping it. It's pretty handy.”
“I'm sure it is.” With a soft smile, Luke glanced back. “And I should get my stuff out of the hallway. I don't think your neighbors will be happy to trip over them.”
Julie gave a confused nod and turned to the minifridge. When she stood again, having had the ice cream secured and refrigerated, she was surprised to find herself facing a suitcase in the middle of the small room.
“You weren't kidding when you talked about your stuff.” She put the bag with the fries on her desk and approached her boyfriend, who entered with a backpack in his hands and the guitar on his back. “How did you manage to come here with all this stuff?”
“With a lot of willpower and with the help of the elevator.”, he joked and leaned his guitar and backpack against the wall before walking over to her. “But I came straight from the airport, so I had no way to leave any of it anywhere else.”
“I still can't believe you're here.” An incredulous laugh escaped her and Julie crossed her arms around Luke's neck. This felt like a dream. To have him there, real, around her and so bright. But she needed to ask the questions. “Why are you here? How? I thought you weren't coming back until the end of the week. What happened?”
“I'll tell you everything, I promise. But I really wanted to take a shower first.” Luke tipped his head to the side with a tired smile. His warm hands took hold of her waist. “We had kind of a show earlier and I couldn't shower before we got on the plane, and I still had a three-hour flight to catch. I'm sweaty, I smell like an airport, and I was hoping to spend some time with my girlfriend feeling at least a little more decent and alive because now I feel like shit.”
“I don't think you look so bad.” Julie played with the tip of his hair at the nape of his neck and Luke sighed in contentment, letting his forehead fall against the top of her head. “But you're right, and there's no way I'm letting you stay in bed without clean clothes. Upstairs there's a men's room you'll be able to use without a problem.”
“I won't take long.” He left a brief kiss on her lips and pulled away until he grabbed his backpack. “Don't eat everything without me.”
“I can't promise anything.”
But as irresistible as the smell was, Julie didn't start without Luke. Instead, she busied herself with setting up the movie on the laptop, propped up on Flynn's bed, and creating a comfortable environment on the floor. The whole time she had a stupid grin on her face. And, God, the feeling of happiness and completeness was ecstatic and something she'd only felt while making music. It felt almost unreal.
It didn't take long for Luke to return and not even the rumbling of her stomach stopped her from admiring him. The gray sweatpants looked comfortable, as was the sleeveless black shirt. It left his spotted arms showing, and also the guitar tattoo on his forearm. Julie didn't know how, but he had gotten so much hotter and it was too much for her brain to process at once.
With a slight smile on his face, he ran the towel one last time through his damp hair before spreading it out on one of the chairs. The backpack also found its place on the floor as he closed the door.
“Now enough of the winding-up.”, Julie intimated and picked up his tray of french fries as Luke sat down on the floor next to her. “What was the deal with you guys coming back early? I thought you were having fun.”
“There was no scam. And we were. It was one of the best things I've ever done.” His proud, incredulous smile was heartwarming, but it didn't stop her from slapping his hand when Luke went to get a potato. She held out a fork to him, who took it with a roll of his eyes. “But it's also a long time away from home with just the four of us.”
“You guys couldn't stand each other anymore, huh.”
“Alex was so close to leaving Reggie behind.” Laughter was inevitable and Julie almost choked on her food. “And I love my boys, but it was getting complicated.”
“And then you go and decide to live with them.”
“But that is a very well thought out decision.”, he tried to defend himself, but she didn't really believe him. “And, anyway, we're not going out of town or anything, so we won't have to look at each other's faces all day. And it's also something we'll only search about after the new years holiday.”
“I never thought I'd hear you talking like an adult.” And that it was so sexy . But Luke gave her an indignant look. “I'm sorry, but it's true. You've matured a lot.” She shrugged and took advantage of his stagnation to pick up the tray in his hands. “A lot of time away from home and only with the band. Go on, then.”
“You're mean, but it's okay, I accept.” He stretched one of his arms out on the bed behind her and bent one leg. “Yesterday was our last show and it was great. And we had planned to visit a few cities in Mexico before the end of the week. Reg even wanted to visit your mother's side of the family.”
“And why did you quit?”
“Because we can do that later. And playing with Fall Out Boy seemed like the perfect end to that experience.”
Julie was thankful there was nothing in her mouth because she choked on air at the statement. Luke patted her back lightly, with a cocky smile and an amazed look on his face. How could he say that so smoothly?
“What the fuck? Do you guys know Fall Out Boy? You played with them? Why didn't I know about this?”
“I wanted to tell you in person! But I have a recorded message for you, I promise.”
“I don't care about that.” Luke raised an eyebrow, and that was enough to disarm her false conviction. “Okay, maybe just a little. But how did this happen? That's huge!”
“I know! They were at the show last night and came to talk to us. I almost couldn't believe it.”
“Did you pass out?”
“What? Of course not! And please don't believe anything the guys say.” Julie's teasing smile was inevitable and she was sure to ask the rest of the band. “But I may have acted a bit like a fan and started talking about the melody construction they do.”
“Of course you did.” She rested her head on his outstretched arm and looked at him softly. Luke's face lit up with happiness and pride, and it infected her too. “How did it go?”
“It was so awesome, Jules. Like, Fall Out Boy complimented our music and invited us to have a jam session with them. I still have doubts that it was real.”
“So that was his ‘kind of a show’.”
“And it was much more than I could have imagined. They even invited us to a party tonight, can you believe that? We skipped going to a party at Fall Out Boy's invitation.”
Julie felt her body go static for a moment. Had she heard right? It couldn't be, not least because Luke didn't sound desperate or even sorry.
“I’m sorry, what? Did you guys deny it?”
“That's right.” How could he be acting like it was nothing?
“Are you stupid?” The astonishment in his eyes wasn't enough to change her mind. “This could be very important for the band's career. You could make so many contacts. Why did you say no?”
“Because we had found a flight back today. And there was no reason to wait another day just to go to a party.”
Oh, God. Didn't that boy know anything about contacts and public relations? He would surely be lost if it weren't for Flynn. Julie set the empty tray on the floor and turned fully toward him. His eyes, now gray, were clouding with a cloud of confusion, and his long bangs were messy away from his vision.
“Luke, I know you don't care that much about politics and important connections. But going to this party could have introduced you to a lot of artists, managers, even record labels. It could have been a big deal.”
“We've already got a lot of contacts and managers cards throughout the tour. Alex has everything in storage and will pass it on to Flynn, so she can do a complete background check.", he assured her and held one of her hands, intertwining their fingers. His rings were cold against Julie's skin. “And I'm not that naive, I know all this. It's just... The tour has kept us apart for too long, and you know I wanted you to go with us. It just seemed wrong to go to this party, which would be the band's first with a place on the map, without you.”
“You're so stupid.", she declared affectionately and brought her free hand to his face, framing it. “But I still love you and you are my stupid.”
“I don't know if you know, but stupid is not a romantic nickname. And I love you, too.” Luke smiled and leaned down, stealing a quick kiss from her. Julie felt her heart race at the declaration. For some reason, with him standing there, so real and comfortable in front of her, those words had a different impact. “Even if you're not the only reason we came back early and didn't go to the party.”
“Hmm... Explain.”
“Well, I missed you terribly, of course, but Alex looked like he was going to die if he stayed away from Willie any longer. Reg didn't want to miss the opportunity to decorate the house for Christmas and he was worried about your aunt organizing the party all by herself. And Bobby was one step away from having a breakdown because of so much contact with different people in different places in a short period of time. So, I would say that it was a general and beneficial decision for everyone.”
“You could have told me you were coming back sooner. I could have gone to the airport.”
“If I had told you, it wouldn't be a surprise.” She couldn't question that logic. And it had been really nice to be surprised by her boyfriend outside.
“And what would you do if I wasn't here? Because I could be at home.”
“Reg said you had a test today and a paper due tomorrow, so the chances were slim. And Flynn said you'd be exhausted and most likely wouldn't want to leave the room. So my chances were pretty good. But if you weren't here, I was going to eat everything by myself and maybe go home or to the studio.”
“Did Flynn know?” It was too much information, so her brain had decided to focus on that part first. “Was I the only one who didn't know?” Julie let her hand drop to the jagged bar on his sleeve, playing with the lint.
“Of course not. Only Flynn and Carrie knew.”, he was quick to say and cracked a small smile. “If you look at my stuff here, considering Reggie took my guitar to the studio, you can imagine there was a lot of baggage between the four of us.” She didn't even want to think about it. If Luke, who was usually reluctant about his belongings, had a large suitcase, a backpack, and his guitar with him when he arrived, the total for the four of them must have been absurd. “We couldn't even consider taking everything on the bus and each of us was going to a different location, so it would be a lot of money for a taxi. The most logical decision would be the van, and for that, we would need Flynn.”
“Oh my god, you guys interrupted their date.” It was admirable that he was still alive, but he didn't seem intimidated. In fact, Luke threw his head back in laughter.
“Not exactly, no. We told them early, so I think they just changed their plans for later.” He shrugged and used his free hand to wrap the end of her curls around his finger. “But Flynn's patience surely ran out when I asked to borrow her key and to stop at a drive-through for fries. She dropped me off at the nearest market to buy the ice cream and walk up the two blocks on my own carrying the whole thing!”
Julie tried hard, but the laughter came out before she could help it. Her friend could be mean when she wanted to be. And, despite the pity she felt for Luke dragging his luggage for two blocks plus campus, the image of that was too amusing.
“You shouldn't be laughing at me. I did it all for you.” He stretched his lower lip into a pout and she tipped forward, resting her head on the base of his throat. Julie's body was still shaking with laughter.
“Why... Why did you come here, anyway? Shouldn't you have gone to your parents' house first?”
“And miss the opportunity to spend some time alone with you without running the risk of someone from your family sneaking in? No way.” He wrapped one of his arms around her shoulders and Julie let her hand slide down the inside of his cut-off sleeve, caressing his smooth back. “I'll go tomorrow, so as not to keep my parents up too late.”
Julie hummed in agreement and the two entered a small moment of silence. The intimacy of the situation seeped into her bones, leaving her calm and allowing her feelings to settle. Spending time alone with Luke didn't happen as often as she would have liked, but it always seemed to renew her energy. It filled her with a sense of tranquility and passivity that contrasted sharply with the whirlwind of feelings present whenever he was near.
“You left it here.”
Luke's voice broke the stillness and Julie lifted her head, confused by what he was talking about. She followed his gaze until she reached the purple dinosaur resting against her pillow. A soft smile opened on her face at the sight of the gift.
“Of course. Lily keeps me company and reminds me of you.” She snuggled further into the man's arms and placed a soft kiss on his jaw. A little pride built in her chest as she watched his hair shiver. “And I didn't forget your birthday present, it's at the house.”
“I can't wait. I also brought gifts, but I'll get them to you later. It's not a good idea to go through my bag now because I don't think I can pack it later.” A giggle resounded through her chest at his sincerity.
“Just one more question and I'll let you off the hook for the day.”
Julie leaned back far enough to look at him. His brown hair was messy and long enough to need a cut soon. His eyes, which had changed from gray to a greenish-blue, had a characteristic cheerful glow and slight purplish flecks underneath. A faint smile played on his cracked lips, but it was not enough to hide the waves of tiredness emanating from him.
“I'll answer whatever you want, whenever you want. You know I'd do anything for you, boss.”
“All of this... The traveling, the shows, connecting with people, and getting your music heard was an experience as good as you had imagined?”
She didn't really know why she had asked that question. Maybe it was out of concern, regret, or even hope. Luke had been ecstatic about the proposal and the scale of the outcome of his work, as he should, but he also put a lot of expectation on things. Julie needed to know if it had been worth it and maybe that would soothe a part of her soul that she was trying not to think about.
“It was… sensational, unbelievable, breathtaking.”, Luke numbered, but with his eyes turned to the window behind her. Julie didn’t miss the lack of a direct answer but said nothing. “More than what I had imagined. But also” He toyed with the fingers of her hand that was entwined with his. “wouldn't even come close.”
“What do you mean?”
“It was incomplete.” He shrugged and locked his eyes on hers. Julie felt her heart pound with the intense look and a shiver ran up her spine. “It was great, but there was always one thing missing: my partner. My muse wasn't there and my music was only half-performed because she makes me a better musician.”
Julie felt emotion rise up her throat at the declaration and an inevitable twinge of hope itched in her chest. Why did her boyfriend have to be able to turn everything into lyrics? It was ridiculous the effect it had on her.
Flynn had said that a Christmas gift didn't need to be something extravagant, but a symbol that one had thought of the other person. With Luke's words, the perfect gift crossed her mind in the shape of Rose’s unfinished song. Not only would he like it, but it would be a key point in her life, as one last piece of the puzzle for a new phase in both of their careers. It was likely to change everything.
But at that moment, all she could manage was to reach out and crush her mouth against his. One of Luke's hands broke free of hers to take a place on her back. The other placed one of Julie's curls behind her ear and supported her head.
“I never thought Luke Patterson could be so cheesy in a relationship, but you prove me wrong every time. And I love you so much for it.” She sprinkled a few more little kisses over his face before pulling away.
“It's not cheesy if it's true, Jules. But it's okay, I accept. Anything else you want to know before you trade me in for ice cream and another Flynn?”
“Not from me. But you might like to let your fans know you're back home.”
Julie smiled teasingly when she saw him roll his eyes and pat her boyfriend on the shoulder before getting up and picking up the empty tray from the floor. She almost tripped over his legs but managed to steady herself in time and made her way to the fridge with her dignity intact.
When she returned to her spot on the floor with the bowl and two spoons in hand, the movie was paused and Luke had his legs spread. From the smile on his face, she imagined it was a space for her to sit and them to snuggle. It was nothing they hadn't done before, but Julie ignored it and settled down on his other side.
“Hey, you know that's not the best position to hug.”, Luke complained, crossing his arms.
“I know. But I also remember well that last time you dropped ice cream in my hair.”
“I didn't mean to!”
“I know. But I just washed my hair yesterday and I'm not going through the same thing again.” She pushed one of the spoons at him, who accepted it with feigned ill will. “Have you ever done anything to make your fans happy?”
“No, I was waiting for you.”
That said, he pulled out his cell phone with the camera already facing them. Her eyes widened at the sight of the reflection. While the effects of Luke's fatigue did nothing to his appearance, it was the opposite with her. Her curls were full and riotous, dark circles under her eyes were pronounced, and her glasses took up nearly half her face. Anyone would guess she hadn't slept in at least twenty-four hours.
“Why would you do this with me? I look like death, Luke!” Julie let her forehead fall against his shoulder, hiding her face.
“You are my beautiful death.” She felt Luke's lips against the top of her head and an involuntary smile appeared on her face. “And everyone would freak out to see who my wonderful girlfriend is. Public, right?”
“But that can wait until tomorrow when I'm at least presentable and not looking like a zombie. And do you even know how to post a picture?”
“Of course I know! I'm not as bad with technology as you make it sound. And it's not that bad, check it out.”
Julie moved her face enough to see Luke's cell phone screen and felt her heart leap. There was a project there for an Instagram post. The picture was a little blurry, but it was clear that it had just been taken. Julie's face was hidden on his shoulder and behind a mass of curls, her smile wasn't visible, but she knew it was there. Luke's head appeared tumbled over hers, his eyes closed and kissing the top of her hair.
It was a very beautiful photo that passed on a sense of adoration and reverence that made her emotional. In the caption field, Luke had written: " Back to my home ". It might seem like just a simple statement, but damn, how it stirred her insides.
“So, what did you think?”
How dare he ask that question? It was clear that she was speechless.
“That's...that's very...very nice.”, she managed to stutter and felt her face heat up with blushing.
“Approved?”
Julie couldn't see it, but she knew he had that hopeful puppy dog face. And this time she couldn't even deny it. It was a beautiful picture and it would be a waste to keep it.
“You know it is.” She took the opportunity to open the ice cream and take a spoonful. “It’s unfair doing business with a well-taken photo. I demand a reward.” She stretched to play the movie and, from his snorting laughter, Luke knew what she'd ask for.
“You'll want me to learn to play the kingdom dance music on the violin, won't you?”
Julie smiled from behind the spoon and nodded. Luke was quite a sight playing his usual instruments, but something about the violin made him thousand times more attractive. Maybe it was the contrast between the classical instrument and his kinda vintage rocker style.
“All right, it's worth it for you. And I could use some practice on the violin, it's been a while.”
She placed the spoon in the bowl before attacking him in a celebratory hug. The couple tangled in a laughing, familiar ball.
Julie knew they would be fine with time apart. They had a healthy relationship, but she couldn't deny that the space had been necessary for the completion of what was already seeping into her bone and her soul: staying with Luke was right.
She had her doubts early on in the relationship. That flea that she was confusing her feelings for Luke always popped up at the most inconvenient times. They had been friends for a long time and music brought them even closer, maybe their feelings were reflecting the lyrics they created.
But now that wasn't even a possibility to be considered.
Julie loved Luke with everything inside of her. She didn't love him because of the music but in spite of it. He knew her inside and out, knew what she needed and how she felt before she could speak.
Luke had been there for her when the music was too much for her to handle, even if he didn't accept it. Been there when she was back to music, when the classes were too much to handle, and when all she needed was a break and a hug.
And, okay, he wasn't perfect and had a little problem with boundaries, but he was always willing to improve. He always had a motivational speech on the tip of his tongue, protected his family with all his might, and didn't believe in giving up at the first attempt.
Being with him and working with him was like a breath of fresh air on a stuffy day. He always encouraged her to follow her dreams and often gave her the final push she needed.
Luke felt like home to her, and Julie was elated to know it was the same for him.