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Martin hated travelling. Wait, no, that was a lie. He actually loved travelling! Whether it be by train or plane or boat or car or even just on foot, he thought going from one place to another was fun. Sometimes new places offered fun and adventure or even just some yummy food. But what Martin did hate was the place he was supposed to be going to. Wait, no, not hate exactly. But he wasn’t necessarily happy to go either.
Martin sighed as he looked at his beat up duffle bag, mostly packed and almost ready for his weekend trip to visit his mother’s care home. It wasn’t as if he didn’t want to see his mother, quite the opposite actually, he cared about her so much and was looking forward to being with her after so long but it was just that she could be a bit… harsh at times. And sometimes she could be more than a bit harsh if she was in a bad mood. God he hoped that she wouldn’t get in a bad mood while he was there.
At least he had an actual house with a proper family to come home to now… Family. Huh, that had a nice ring to it. Something to look forward to while he was gone he supposed.
“Hey,” Martin picked his head up to see Sasha standing in the doorway with Jon, fully regressed and clad in one of Tim’s oversized shirts and a pair of Sasha’s leggings, clinging to the sleeve of her dress, “Are you all packed yet?”
“Nearly there,” Martin replied as he halfheartedly folded up an extra pair of socks and tossed them into the bag. He’d only be there Friday night until Sunday evening but better to over pack than under pack. Though it did take all of his willpower not to include a whole fire extinguisher in his luggage as well.
“Okay then, just let me know if you need any help. And are you sure you don’t want Tim to drop you off? He’s said that it’d be no problem if you’d prefer that over the Tube.”
Martin smiled warmly at the kind gesture but shook his head, grabbing a few more items he may need for his trip, “Nah, it’s alright. My mum’s place isn’t even that far from here so I’m fine with just taking the Tube.”
“Alright, if you’re really sure.” Sasha’s eyebrows furrowed and her eyes flickered back and forth from Martin’s face to his bag, “But are you sure you’re okay with visiting her… now? You know with everything that’s happened with Prentiss and suddenly having to move in with us. Do you think you’re not going to, you know, regress while you’re there?” She questioned lightly, pointing at Martin’s hands.
Martin tilted his head in confusion and looked down to see that he was holding Winnie, instinctively rubbing his thumbs on the old red shirt for comfort. He smiled sheepishly and brought Winnie up to his chest, “I’ll be fine, don’t worry. I can be big for one weekend. And I, uh, I sort of learned to… push down my regression when I’m around her.”
The sentence hung in the air of the quiet bedroom and Martin could tell that Sasha’s heart broke right there and then by her poorly concealed wince.
“It’s okay, though!” Martin quickly reassured, “I honestly think that’s a good thing since she probably wouldn’t want to take care of her adult son and all in her condition, heh. And it’s not like I’ll be staying with her for too long.”
“I know, Martin, but still.” Sasha smiled and walked further into the room, admiring how quickly Martin was able to make this place seem like home. “You know how I worry, whether it be about you being big or little.”
Martin laughed and placed Winnie back down on the bed. “And please know that I appreciate it, all of you, for helping me out all this time. It means the world to me to have you three as my family,” Martin’s smile fell a bit and he looked up, his eyes cloudy with a mix of emotions, “But, ah, speaking of family, I think I’m all packed up and ready to go and see my mum.”
“Alright then, you certain you have everything you’ll need?”
Martin nodded and did a final once over of his bag, making sure he didn’t forget anything important like his anxiety medication or his spare glasses, “Yup, I think I should be all good to go- huh?”
Martin felt a tug on his jacket sleeve and he looked up to see Jon, shyly grasping onto the piece of clothing and looking down at the floor with eyes full of unshed tears. “Don’ wan’ you to go,” he mumbled under his breath.
“Oh, Jon,” In one fluid motion, Martin turned toward the man and scooped him up until he was sat on the bigger man’s hip and snuggled against his shoulder, “I’m sorry that I have to leave but don’t worry. You’ll still have your Mama and Papa here with you so you won’t even notice that I’m gone. Plus it’s only going to be a few days so I’m sure I’ll be back before you know it, okay?”
But Jon merely whimpered in response as he brought his arms around Martin’s shoulders and buried his face into the other’s neck. “B-b-but- but-”
“But what, love?” Sasha asked, coming up to the two and rubbing Jon’s back.
“Wha’ if Baba don’t come back?”
The two caregivers bit their lips and gave each other uncertain looks. It looked like this was a lot bigger than Jon missing Martin while he was gone.
Martin sighed and began to rock Jon as his small sniffles slowly escalated into quiet whimpers, “Shhh, it’s alright, sweetheart,” he whispered, “Of course I’m going to come back. I love you all too much to not come back. Why on Earth would I leave my family?”
But the question went unanswered as Jon clung to Martin with all his might. Martin sighed again as he continued to bounce Jon in what he hoped was a soothing manner until his eyes landed on his bed. He looked over to Sasha and eyed one of the items on his duvet in particular, making grabby hands at it until she got the message and brought it over to him. “Jon, could you look at me for just one second, kitten?”
Jon sniffled quietly and after a few long seconds, he brought his head up and locked his eyes with Martin’s. Martin gave a warm smile and brought his free hand up to show Winnie in all of his stuffy glory. “Jon, can I ask you a very important favor for you to do for me while I’m gone?” Jon gave a cautious nod, his eyes slowly moving between Martin and Winnie. “Good! Now you know that Winnie is my absolute favorite toy and one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world, besides you of course.”
“Hey!”
“Sorry, sorry,” Martin laughed at Sasha’s feigned offense, “And Sasha and Tim of course.”
That got a small giggle out of Jon and gave Martin enough confidence to go through with his impromptu plan. “Well, I don’t think I have enough room in my bag to bring Winnie over to my Mum’s this weekend, let alone all of the clothes he’ll be changing into everyday. So, do you think you could look after him for me until I come back?”
Jon’s eyes widened as he thought things over. Martin loved his Winnie, he took it everywhere! (He’d even seen Martin sneak Winnie into his work bag when he thought no one was looking) He wouldn’t just leave without bringing Winnie with him unless he had a good reason to. So that meant that Martin would come back! And he trusted Jon enough to take care of Winnie while he was gone! So when Martin does come back he’ll be so happy to see both of them and he’ll be so proud of Jon for doing a good job of looking after Winnie!
Sasha had to bite her lip in order to not laugh at Jon’s super serious thinking face. His eyebrows were scrunched and his hand was brought up to his chin which was something he’d picked up from seeing Tim do it all the time. “Well, baby? Do you think you could look after Winnie for your Baba, just until he comes back on Sunday?”
The question brought Jon out of his thoughts and he looked over at Martin before nodding enthusiastically, “Yeah! I’m gonna take real good care of Winnie!”
Martin beamed as he handed Winnie over to Jon, “Wonderful! Thank you so much, dear. I knew I could trust you to do this for me.”
Jon carefully took the stuffy from Martin and allowed himself to be put back on his feet. He nodded wordlessly as he brought the toy up to his chest and gave a gentle hug. Winnie was almost as old as Martin so Jon knew that he had to be extra careful with him. Martin had trusted him after all.
“Looks like you’re doing a great job already,” Martin praised, zipping up his duffle bag and slinging it over his shoulder. He ruffled Jon’s hair and began to exit his room, pursued by Sasha and Jon who was still holding tight onto Winnie. Once down the stairs, Martin turned to his friends and waved, “Well, I’m off. See you all later!”
“Bye, Martin!” Tim called out from the kitchen where he was preparing lunch.
“Text me when you get to the Tube station. And when you get to your stop. And when you check into your hotel room.” Sasha said, her voice wavering between joking and completely serious.
“I will, don’t worry,” Martin laughed. “Bye bye, Jon! Bye bye, Winnie! I’ll be back soon. For both of you.”
“Bye bye!” Jon said back using one hand to make Winnie’s arm wave goodbye to Martin.
Martin smiled and double checked his pockets to make sure he had his keys, phone, and wallet then headed out of the house. The second the door was closed, he let out a breath and slumped his shoulders as a small pit of dread began to form in his stomach.
God, he was barely out the door and he already couldn’t wait to come back home.
“Winnie said he wants more honey!”
“What’s the magic word?”
“Winnie said he wants more honey pleeeeease.” Jon put on his puppiest puppydog eyes and Tim couldn’t help but chuckle as he added more honey onto the plate of pancakes on the table in front of the stuffed animal.
“You’ve been doing such a good job with Winnie this morning, love,” Sasha commented. Jon giggled when she placed a kiss on his forehead and opened his mouth indicating that he wanted more of his own pancakes. Rolling her eyes playfully, Sasha cut up a small piece of his breakfast and brought it to his lips.
“Yes he has. Even got up early to pick out a cute outfit for Winnie and everything. I’m sure Martin would be proud. And speaking of, how’s Martin doing? Did he text you?” Tim asked.
“Yeah he did. He got to his hotel around 4:30 yesterday and went straight to his mum’s care home,” Sasha replied while helping Jon clean his plate, “And he texted again this morning saying that his mum was doing well. But, uh, when I asked if he was doing alright he didn’t respond.”
Jon tensed and looked up at his Mama. Worry over his friend was more than apparent on his face and Tim sprang into action before Jon’s started to spiral further, “But! But I’m sure he was just too tired to reply. Or he was busy with his mum and he’ll reply later today. Nothing to fret over, kitten.”
The tension in Jon’s shoulders slowly dissipated and he turned to grab Winnie, bringing the toy into a hug because Papa was probably right. Baba was most likely just busy with his mum or tired from his commute over to her. He was completely fine. Or at least that was what they were all hoping.
Martin was tired. That was the only thing he was only able to feel this entire weekend and it was the driving force that made him check out of his hotel early this morning. He was tired from the commute out of London on Friday. He was tired from having to deal with the very nice worker at the front desk of the hotel who spent almost an hour having to find him another room because of a computer error. He was tired from not being able to sleep in an unfamiliar room on a less than comfortable bed. He was tired from having to walk the three blocks between his hotel and his mother’s care home.
And he was especially tired from seeing his mother.
Martin always seemed to forget why he so rarely visited her in the first place to the point where he’d think it’s okay to do so again. He hadn’t seen her in a while and he’d been feeling guilty over it. Maybe just a small visit would be okay, he thought, just one weekend wouldn’t hurt. And the caretakers who worked there learned to take pity on him and were pretty nice whenever he came around.
But the second he stepped foot into his mum’s small isolated room and entered her judgemental gaze, he instantly remembered. She wasn’t in the best mood, but at the same time Martin could hardly remember a time when she was. Martin hadn’t brought anything up about Prentiss and barely touched on the subject of his work other than the fact that he was still employed because he knew that she probably wouldn’t care. At least she didn’t dig into him too badly over his ramblings this time, and she even sounded impressed when he talked about being a partial home owner. But everything else… her biting words… backhanded comments… her cold, unapproving stare… the more than familiar sense that she wanted him out of there as soon as possible… everything Martin tried to block out whenever his visits with his mother came to an end… well, let’s just say he’s trying to forget it all once again.
But at least now he was home. He really should’ve called Tim and asked if he could pick him up from the hotel but Martin didn’t want to be a bother. Plus the Tube wasn’t even that busy so he was able to get on and off in a decent amount of time.
Now Martin stood on the steps of his house- his home, fumbling with his keyring because he had so many keys and he was tired and his glasses were dirty so he could see that well and he was hungry because he didn’t have time for breakfast or even a nice cup of tea before he left. Stupid keys. Not even the cute dog keychain Tim had gifted him was able to bring a bit of joy while he almost dropped his stupid, bloody, meanie keys. Martin bit down a whimper as his fingers slipped on the right key for the fifth time but once he finally got it, he slammed it into the lock and let himself in.
Inside, the house was quiet. Honestly he should’ve expected that since it was barely 8 A.M. on a Sunday morning. Tim usually skipped his morning run in favor of sleeping in so even he wasn’t up and about this early. A small sniffle escaped past his lips and Martin clung hard onto the strap of his bag. He didn’t think to text Sasha to let them all know he was coming home early this morning so he really should’ve expected no one to be up. But Martin had secretly hoped that at least one person would be awake and there to greet him.
Tears swam in Martin’s vision and he took his glasses off to wipe them away. It’s okay. They would’ve been here if they’d known. Martin thought to himself as he mindlessly placed his glasses down on a nearby table and ascended the stairs to his room. With each step his mind grew fuzzier and fuzzier, the fact that the world was blurry without his glasses adding to his quickly regressing headspace. Mama and Papa and Jon are gonna be super duper happy when they see him. Maybe Jon wasn’t little anymore so Martin would get to spend time with his Tata today. But they’re sleeping right now so he shouldn’t bother them. Martin let out a soft yawn and rubbed at his drooping eyes. He was so tired. He should probably sleep too.
As Martin got to the top of the staircase, he slowly trudged past Sasha and Tim’s closed door, stopping and staring longingly as he debated just going in and letting them know he was home. They’re sleepy. You’re sleepy. Martin’s brain provided him as he made a beeline to his own room.
But as Martin entered the room, ready to toss his bag and uncomfy clothes onto the floor and flop onto the bed, he paused. He… he felt like he was forgetting something. Something really really important. A promise between him and someone else. Mama? No. Papa? No, not him either. That only left Jon. But what was it that he and Jon promised? Hmm…
With a sharp gasp, Martin dropped his bag and quickly shuffled next door to Jon’s room where he forwent knocking and simply opened the door. Inside Jon’s room was dark and really messy. He’d been able to organize all of his little gear but everything else was still either in boxes or shoved into a random drawer or his closet. But his bed was at least put together.
And on the bed was a peacefully sleeping Jon with a certain comfort toy nestled in his arms.
“Winnie,” Martin whispered to himself as he slowly walked over to the bed. Maybe he could just take Winnie and go back to his room. It looked like Jon did a good job with looking after him while he was away. But Jon looked so nice and soft and warm and Martin was in the mood for a nice snuggle right now. And in all honesty he didn’t wanna be alone. Would Jon be mad if Martin woke him up? What if he woke up cranky and told Martin to go away and he kept Winnie? Martin shook his head at the thought because Jon wouldn’t be that mean. He’d at least give Martin his Winnie before kicking him out to get more sleep.
“Mmm, huh, who’s- wha’s- Martin?” Martin stilled as he watched Jon shift around under the covers and opened his groggy eyes. Jon squinted in the low light and sat up once he realized he wasn’t alone anymore. “Martin? What are you doing here? God, what time is it? I thought you weren’t going to be home until late afternoon today.”
Martin was frozen, like a deer caught in headlights because he accidentally woke up Jon. He didn’t mean to! He just wanted Winnie back. And Jon was big and asked him a lot of questions and Martin didn’t know which one to answer first. Martin quietly whined and brought his thumb up to this face, biting on his fingernail while he tried to figure out what to say.
Jon’s confused expression softened once Martin fully placed his thumb in his mouth and started to anxiously suck on it. “Oh, Martin. Are you little right now, baby bear?” Martin sniffled and hunched his shoulders which Jon took as a yes. Jon sighed and fully sat up, motioning for Martin to sit on the bed and helping him to remove his thick overcoat. “That’s alright, pumpkin. No need to make a fuss over needing to unwind. Which I’m guessing is what you’re doing since you came home early, huh?”
Martin wiggled out of his jacket and shoes and clung to Jon, nodding fiercely against his shoulder. Jon cooed at Martin and returned the hug. The two stayed like that for a while, Martin quietly whimpering into Jon’s shirt while the man whispered comforting words, occasionally switching to humming random songs and singing partially remembered lullabies. But it all seemed to work as Martin’s soft cries died down and he leaned more heavily onto Jon.
Jon chuckled once he heard Martin let out a short snore and he carefully maneuvered them until they were both lying down. He fixed the duvet so that both of them were covered with Martin snuggled right up against his chest. And as Jon was about to fall back asleep, his eyes shot open and he carefully searched his bed for what he thought Martin came in for in the first place. “Martin? Come on, before you go to sleep I think you’ll want this.”
He put up a bit of a fuss, turning his face more into Jon’s chest which bounced with laughter at the action, but eventually curiosity got the best of him and he looked up to see, “Winnie!”
Jon smiled at Martin’s sleepy exclamation and handed the bear over to his owner. “Yes, it’s Winnie. I know you promised to come back for him and I promised to take good care of him until you did. I hope I did a good enough job. We gave him a bath yesterday so he should be all nice and clean.”
The way Martin practically snatched the stuffy out of Jon’s lax grasp and buried his face into the faded yellow fabric probably meant that yes, Jon did a good job. “Tanks Tata,” Martin sleepily mumbled into Winnie’s freshly washed, lavender scented fur.
God he sounded exhausted. Jon would have to remember to ask Martin about his trip once he was out of headspace. Or at least he’ll try to get Martin to talk about his trip. He never seemed to go into detail about his personal life outside of himself. Jon knew Martin didn’t have a father growing up but he didn’t know the circumstances. But again, another topic for another time. For now, Jon had a sleepy baby he had to deal with.
Settling down, Jon once again rearranged himself and his bedmate until they were comfortable. Martin was practically laying fully on top of Jon who held him close to his chest with Winnie carefully wedged between the two of them. “All comfy cozy, my little honey bee?”
Jon felt a slow nod against his chest and Martin let out a contented sigh. “Mmm. Sof’ n’ warm.”
“That’s right, we’re all nice and warm. Perfect for a quick kip.” Jon smiled as he leaned down and placed a kiss against Martin’s mess of curls. “Alright then. Sleep tight, love. Tata’s got you.”