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Ian and Mickey have been together on and off for the better part of a decade, and during that time – whether together or apart, and with the potential exception of Mickey’s stint in Mexico – they have always shared their homes with others, often many others. In these crowded houses, true solitude and privacy are never guaranteed, not even in the bathroom; such moments must be carefully arranged, stolen, in abandoned buildings and under high school bleachers. We might roll our eyes at the stupidity of Ian and Mickey continuing to hook up in the Kash and Grab fridge after Kash walks in on them, but in truth, what choice did they have?
Living in such constant proximity to others has several consequences. By necessity it often leaves you comfortable doing and being open about things that others might considered highly private, such as having loud sex well within earshot of your family. At the same time and somewhat paradoxically it affords you little to no space in which to fully relax and drop your shields and just be yourself. This is particularly true of Mickey, who has historically needed to hide vital parts of himself for his own safety. Furthermore, sharing such close quarters even with loved ones can lead to a tendency to carefully guard what few things are only yours , be it actual things or people or feelings. This tendency is arguably especially strong in Ian, the often-overlooked middle child who tends to keep his own counsel and very much wants to be his own man. Whether it’s hiding from Terry or maintaining a preferred role in the shifting matrix of familial bonds, Ian and Mickey’s relationship has always been articulated and defined against the backdrop of their crowded surroundings and expectations both external and internal.
Granted, this is true of all relationships, but the impact of it is reasonably greater on Ian and Mickey and their siblings, since their day-to-day lives are so very closely intertwined, with their limited space and means fostering a high degree of interdependence. After getting married, Ian and Mickey's situation is far different and much better than it has ever been before, but living together with the others at the Gallagher house Ian is never just Mickey’s husband but at any given moment also Ian-as-a-brother and Ian-as-an-uncle and Ian-the-involuntary-and-recovering-self-perceived-fuck-up. Mickey’s never just Ian’s husband, but the in-law, the (to some degree) outsider, the tough as fuck South Side Milkovich. These are mostly roles that both of them embrace, and this text is by no means an argument for the supremacy of romantic relationship over familial ones, but sometimes the differing roles clash, and co-habiting in such close quarters rarely affords our newlyweds the opportunity to focus exclusively on Ian-and-Mickey-as-husbands. More often than not, their relationship plays out in front of an audience, and there’s some evidence to suggest that this fact occasionally affects their dynamic in significant and potentially detrimental ways.
For one, it sometimes serves to escalate conflict. From Ian loudly announcing to the room at large that he won’t have sex with Mickey if Mickey doesn’t get a job to Mickey ragging on Ian for always doing what Lip does in front of all of Ian’s siblings, the presence of an audience heightens the stakes as neither man wishes to lose face in front of the other Gallaghers. That isn’t to say that Ian and Mickey don’t fight when they’re alone, but with the added pressure of onlookers, things get just a little sharper; a little rougher; a little harder to back down from.
Moreover, things rarely get particularly soft . With the exception of their wedding and their anniversary party, where emotional intimacy is very much expected, Ian and Mickey mostly save their tender moments for when they’re alone. Though they are both perfectly happy to disregard the opinions of others when it suits them, neither is immune to the internalized notions of masculinity particular to the US in general and the South Side in particular. Mickey might be the one more affected by this, whereas middle-child Ian is more concerned with simply keeping his feelings away from the prying eyes of the world, but the net result is the same: marital tenderness is kept private.
This is by no means unique to them: the wish to keep private things private is common enough. However, up until now Ian and Mickey haven't had a whole lot of space to be private in , meaning that the instances of marital tenderness mentioned above might have been fewer than desired.
But by the end of season 11 Ian and Mickey have moved to the West Side and whether or not you believe that this particular spot is a good fit for them it means that they have finally have a home that is only theirs, and which offers them plenty of room – literally and metaphorically – to let their guard down and explore what they, individually and as a couple, are when openness and vulnerability might inform the majority of their interactions rather than be the exception for when they occasionally find themselves alone at the Gallagher house. ”Can't we just be Ian and Mickey?” Ian asked in 10x11. Now, for the first time, they get the chance to.
That isn’t to say that things will change drastically between them. Their relationship is a solid one that has withstood all challenges for almost a decade; at the end of the day it isn’t primarily defined by external circumstances. Additionally, Ian and Mickey
are
tough boys, never likely to have lovey-dovey as their baseline – but with the opportunity to finally examine just who they are when it’s just the two of them for extended periods of time and they needn’t pay constant attention or actively ignore their various family members, I believe there might be just a little fewer instances of bickering turning into fights and a little (a lot) more casual kisses, smiles, and touching just to touch.