Chapter Text
The rumble of voices echoed too loudly around Theo as he ducked beneath a fizzing Dr filibuster firework that was ricocheting off of the walls of the train and shouldered his way into an empty compartment. The noise quieted, if only slightly, as the compartment door slammed shut behind him.
He ignored the wary eyes of parents through the windows and wondered, not for the first time, why they had to have the compartments of the Hogwarts Express facing the platform. Surely no one could miss their kid that much that they just had to watch them sit there for five minutes before the train pulled out.
Theo dropped into the seat closest to the window, shrugging off his bag and tossing it next to him. He relaxed back, stretching out until his feet were propped on the opposite bench. Undoubtedly people would think it was rude, to manage to take up a whole carriage by himself, but, well, if previous experience was anything to go by it wasn’t like anyone would actually be sitting in there with him.
He let his gaze fall to the window, catching the eyes of a mother who was staring at him unabashedly. Theo raised a hand in a sardonic wave that had her hurrying her child further along the platform in a frantic panic. A scoff rumbled from his throat, a bittersweet smirk on his lips as he thumped his head back against the soft cushioned seat.
One more year.
That was all, one more year and then he could disappear, to where no one knew his face or the rumors circling him like vultures. He could do magic outside of Hogwarts without a stream of Aurors raining down on him like he was murdering some muggle kids puppy and not trying to cast a charm to keep the rain out of his sleeping bag.
The compartment door opened with a bang, Theo let his eyes open, turning his head just enough to watch a gaggle of third years freeze halfway through the threshold when they spotted him.
“Sorry.” One of them squeaked. The word brought movement back to the group, all of them hissing, elbows flying as they tried to claw their way past each other and out of the compartment. The frantic scramble as three of them got stuck blocking the doorway as they all tried to go through at the same time had Theo snorting out a laugh. Something that only seemed to panic them more. He watched curiously as the one boy not stuck in the doorway, a gangly thing with straw-coloured hair, rammed into his friend's shoulder first. The kid stuck in the middle of the doorway was sent forwards with a yelp, dragging the other two with him as they tumbled into the wall opposite face first and ended up in a ball of limbs on the floor. The gangly boy took the opportunity of the doorway being free to run. Hopping over his friends and sprinting down the hall without a look back.
The one who’d been brave enough to speak caught Theo’s eye as the three remaining idiots tried to untangle themselves. His eyes still blown wide in fear.
“Bit of an overreaction, don’t you think?” Theo said conversationally. The boys finally disentangled themselves and took off after their friends. The compartment door closed with a soft click.
He was ready to close his eyes once again and spend the journey slipping in and out of sleep with the bumps on the train tracks, only before he could the compartment door was once again opened.
This time Theo wasn’t met with the sight of multiple people, nor with the gasp of terror on recognition.
“Hi.” Theo eyed the girl standing in the doorway as she shot him a cheery grin. One canine tooth missing leaving a little black gap in her smile, at least it would, were it not for the pink of her tongue trying to poke through the hole. He felt his brow furrowing, the urge to look behind him to check if there was someone somehow pressed between him and the window that she was really talking to almost too strong. Instead, he found himself studying her more.
She was clearly a First Year, if not from the missing teeth then from the round cheeks and wide-eyed excitement that seemed to ping off of her that only those who didn’t yet know what it was like to sit on a train for an entire day. Normally, if Theo were accosted by a First Year on the train he’d just assume they were muggle-born and simply hadn’t heard of him. But, for this girl, it was clear she wasn’t. Not with the way her pigtails were held up by thick scrunchies enchanted to look like a fireworks show that matched the backpack dangling from her fingers. Theo watched as a firework exploded in one of the scrunchies. Glittering gold shimmering down into the bag.
"It's cool isn't it." Theos eyes snapped up. Eyebrows raising as her face lit in an unsuspecting grin. "My mum got them for me." She said, thrusting the backpack closer to Theo as an invitation for a closer look. "They do more if I move." She shook her head to prove the point. Sandy brown pigtails whipping her in the face as fireworks lit up the scrunchies and popped over the backpack like rain. Her head stopped. Her pigtails swaying like dogs ears. A smile still lighting her face. The reflection of fireworks dancing on her skin like silver freckles.
"It's pretty." Theo hummed. The smile grew her head bopping in a nod that sent her slowly stilling pigtails off swinging again.
"Can I sit in here?" Theos eyed widened at the question. In all the trips he'd taken on the Hogwarts express he'd only shared the compartment with someone twice and both of those times had been with Aurors boxing him in rather than other students. "Please?"
"Ye-"
"Lena!" Theos mouth snapped closed as a woman came barrelling into the compartment. Shoving the girl, Lena, Theo assumed behind her. He watched, unamused, as the mother backed out of the compartment.
The door slammed shut. Theo saw his name forming on the mother's lips before Lena was peering around her towards him. Eyes wide. Her quickly paling skin lit up as a green firework popped against the backpack now clutched to her chest. Theo turned away. Blowing out a breath and forcing the flash of green that looked all too familiar out of his mind. The door never reopened and when the whistle blew a minute later he saw Lena’s mother exiting the train and scurrying down the platform to give one last wave to where the girl must've found a seat in a too cramped compartment.
Another shrill whistle echoed and the train was moving. Footsteps scurried up and down the hall as the last few stragglers tried to find themselves somewhere to sit. The seats around him stayed empty.
Theo let the soft rocking of the train clacking across the tracks lol him to sleep.
*
After what was undoubtedly the best sleep he’d had all summer Theo didn’t have long until the train was pulling to a stop at Hogsmeade station. He fiddled long enough with his bag to avoid getting crushed by the first years as he exited his compartment and as such when he stepped foot on the platform it was to the sight of a backpack lighting up the trail down to the docks in firework flashes that had all the other first years nattering excitedly. Theo passed the trail down towards the dock, picking up the hill towards the sound of hooves.
*
The Thestrals were unfortunately trained not to leave unless their carriage was full or no other students were around to be collected which left Theo with the yearly question of whether to walk to Hogwarts or wait until he was the only person left to pick up.
This year waiting had won out but rather than linger in the shadows unseen he'd decided to make his distinct dislikability everyone's problem. Setting up camp next to the first carriage in line, petting the Thestrals and watching as all the other carriages took off to slow, uncomfortable starts as they tried, and failed, to maneuver around him blocking their path down the narrow lane.
As such Theo was enjoying his time waiting, fingers brushing down the Thestrals beak. It had long since given up on tipping its head towards the carriage it was attached to, as if asking him to get in and wait, and instead just leaned into Theo’s petting with the occasional nicker of happiness when Theo brushed its skeletal form just right.
“What’s he doing?” He rolled his eyes as the badly whispered question floated into existence.
“A curse, I think.” another whisper replied.
“A curse? He hasn’t even got a wand.”
“You think he needs one? My mum said-”
“He’s not doing a curse.” Theo turned at the familiar voice, eyes locking in on Scott McCall coming to a stop by the gaggle of second years. An easy smile on his face. Theo’s eyes skimmed over Scott’s shoulder looking for his loyal little entourage. “He’s just saying hi to the Thestrals.”
“Thestrals?” A girl asked.
"They're what pull the carriages, you’ll learn all about them in a few years.”
“I don’t see anything.” Theo however did, A smirk crept up his face as he the people traipsing after Scott.
“You wouldn’t. They’re invisible to most people.”
“Why?” Scott paused, mouth moving soundlessly.
“You have to see someone die to be able to see them. “ Stiles said, dropping into the conversation with his usual amount of tact.
“Dude. You'll scare them."
“You hear that, Raeken?! You’re freaking out the Second Years.” Stiles bellowed.
"Not my fault they scare easy." Theo hummed.
"I meant you-" Scott mumbled.
"How was I scaring them?"
"They're kids you shouldn’t-"
"They're twelve They're not gonna cry because I say die,” Stiles grumbled.
“They might. I would have at twelve.” Scott said.
“You still would now.” Stiles said. Theo, despite himself, snorted out a laugh, Stiles turned to him with a glower. “You don’t have permission to laugh at my joke.” Theo forced himself to laugh louder. “Take it back!”
“How do I take back a laugh?”
“Usually just being in your presence does that. You’re like a dementor, you know, sucking the joy out of everything.”
“Wow. Thank you for that clarification, I’d never have known what you meant otherwise.” Theo drawled.
"Theo, You're causing a traffic jam." Scott said, interrupting Stiles before he could serve a no doubt scathing comeback. Theos lips twitched as he looked at the line of carts trying to wiggle their way around him unsuccessfully.
"Not my fault."
"You sure about that, Gandalf?" Theo turned again at the new voice. Watching Mason’s mouth snap closed as if he hadn’t quite meant to talk. And then, the only person in McCall's little group that Theo was interested in talking to finally made himself known. Theo resisted the urge to badger the younger boy as he sidestepped in front of Mason, meeting Theo’s gaze with an icy blue glare.
He needed his help, whether he wanted to admit it or not. And while Liam wasn’t scared of Theo like most people in Hogwarts, despite being one of the few that actually had any right to be, he also thought Theo was ‘a giant piece of shit’.
Theo bit his tongue, dropping his head in a curt nod that had Liam’s eyes widening. Stiles’ eyes narrowed as he shuffled in front of Liam like Liam had done to Mason, Scott, followed his lead, stepping in front of Stiles Theo rolled his eyes at the makeshift queue of idiots.
“Am I meant to know what Gandalf means?”
“He’s a wizard.” Mason said, looking over Liam’s shoulder, who was doing his best to peer over Stiles shoulder, who was glowering over Scotts shoulder, who was just standing there, probably wondering why he was suddenly in a line.
“Never heard of him.”
“A muggle wizard.” Stiles spat.
“What?”
“It’s from a movie, dumbass,” Liam grumbled
“You shall not pass.” Mason said, in a tone Theo was assuming he was meant to recognise, stepping out from the line. Theo watched as the others dispersed from the queue like they had a hive mind, Liam still hovered by Mason, eyes on Theo in a glare that he was sure was meant to scare him. “You just...You’re Gandalfing all the carriages.”
“Again, not my fault.” Theo said.
“Might make it easier for them to move if you sat in it rather than stood in front of it." Scott suggested oh so helpfully.
Theo clicked his tongue. Taking a step forwards, the group jumped, for a moment Theo was worried he was going to get a repeat of the queueing incident before they seemed to realise he was just walking to the back of the carriage.
He pulled himself into the carriage all to aware of the eyes on him as he turned on his heel to face them. Theo eased back in the seats, arms sprawling over the back of the leather padding. He looked to the path ahead of him, the unmoving Thestral standing oh so patiently attached to the front before he turned his attention to the blockade of carriages behind him, quickly falling further into disarray. One Thestral had decided to try and go into the trees around him and was now stuck to a carriage lodged firmly between two oak trees. A hoard of fourth years unsuccessfully trying to unlodge it.
Slowly, he turned back to face the McCall entourage.
“You’re right. I can see how this is better.” He grinned.
"Yah! Mush! Giddyup." Stiles shouted, wafting the Thestral, trying to get it to move. The Thestral nipped his finger. “OW!”
"They won't move until the carriage is full." Theo explained
“Then go find a carriage at the back.” Stiles hissed. He shoved his now bleeding finger in his mouth, sucking on it with an unnerving amount of vigor.
“No.”
“Well then can we ride with you?” Scott asked. If it was anyone else Theo would probably be excited. But Scott and the others were like Liam, they didn't sit with him on the train or in the carriages because they were afraid of him, but just because they didn't like him.
“DUDE!” Stiles bellowed, lip falling from his mouth. “No.”
“Sure.” Theo shrugged.
"Cone on. If we don't get a move on the first years are going to get sorted to an empty hall." Scott sighed, climbing into the carriage and taking the seat furthest from Theo. The others climbed in after him. Soon the carriage was full and the Thestral was puttering onwards.
Theos eyes shifted to Liam. He hadn't exactly grown over the summer. Still roughly the same height as Theo himself but he'd changed. The puppy fat beginning to disappear from his cheek, his hair shorter than it was at the end of last year.
He still needed to ask for his help. But help had never been something theo was good at asking for, or accepting. And he knew if he asked here, now, when Stiles could say no for him and drill the answer in before Theo could annoy him into hearing him out he wouldn't get another chance.
Instead, he extended an olive branch.
"Have a nice summer Dunbar?"
"Piss off Theo." Liam replied, turning himself towards Mason to chat between themselves.
*
The sorting was the same as always, sans the students still scuttling in, late from Theos roadblock. With people Theo didn't know or care about being called up, judged in front of everyone and sent off to their tables with a round of applause and overzealous cheering.
Theo sat at the end furthest from the sorting hat. A good few feet of space between him and the closest student. The stream of first years felt endless when Theo’s stomach was grumbling but he clapped politely with the others, despite Stiles glaring at him from down the table like him joining in with welcoming the new students, however unenthusiastic it was, was somehow wrong.
Lena went to Slytherin and for a moment Theo let himself wonder what it would have been like if her mother hadn’t told her who he was. He was sure from the grin on her face as she bounded towards the Slytherin table that she’d have talked to him for the majority of the journey, hounding him with questions about the school she’d already have known the answers to thanks to her parents. That she’d have been excited to hear he was a Slytherin, would have asked about the common rooms and told him about more magical accessories he was sure she had packed away, ready to use later in the year. Her eyes met his as she started to sit down, her eyes widened before the smile on her face fell, her mouth snapping closed as she turned her gaze to the table in front of her as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. The side of her face glowed silver as a firework popped by her ear. He might’ve liked to hear what other patterned hairbands she had ready for the year. He wondered if she had one that looked like the ocean, with fish swimming from ear to ear. Theo grit his teeth, turning his gaze to the wood in front of him.
One more year.
*
Theo wasn’t surprised that he didn’t find a chance to corner Liam during the first night. He might’ve been able to but between the people clamoring to talk to each other after a long summer away and Theo’s interest in the first real meal in months it was more effort, and sacrifice of hot food, than it would have been worth.
As it was Theo managed to run into him the next day anyway. Well, run into was a bit of a stretch. With how Theo had laid in waiting outside the Library over lunch waiting for him, and spent most of lunch hunting him down at the library in the first place. And why Liam Dunbar of all people was at the Library on his first day back at Hogwarts Theo had no clue.
The Slytherin followed the Gryffindor down to the Grand Staircase before making himself known.
“Hey, Dunbar.”
“Go away.” Liam replied, not even throwing a look over his shoulder. Theo hopped onto the banister, surfing it down, past Liam and onto the landing below so he could force Liam to acknowledge him.
“I just want to talk.” Theo said earnestly.
“I don’t talk to Slytherin’s.” Liam shoulder his way past Theo.
“Stiles is a Slytherin.” He pointed out falling into step with the Gryffindor as they continued down the stairs.
“Stiles isn’t a dick.” Liam snapped. Theo’s eyebrows drew together, face shifting to a look of total wonderment as he let out a derisive snort. “Okay so he’s a bit of a dick-” Liam amended “-But he’s less of a dick than you.”
“Debatable.” Theo hummed. Liam rolled his eyes, continuing his entirely unsuccessful storm off as Theo matched him step for step feeling far too proud of himself. “So you’re just going to ignore me because I’m a Slytherin? And here I thought that we were meant to be the elet-”
“You want me to say that it’s not because you’re a Slytherin? That I just think you’re a total douchebag and would rather rip my own arms off than talk to you?”
“Say it? No. But if you want to rip your arms off go ahead, could be fun to watch.”
“Goddammit, what do you want Theo?”
“Do I have to want something to talk to you?”
“Historically? Yes.”
“Maybe I just want to talk to you.”
“Cut the bullshit, Raeken.”
“I need your help.” Theo said bluntly. Liam, it seemed, was so shocked by the sentence he forgot about the trick step. Theo shoved him just before he could put his foot down, sending the younger boy stumbling down the last few stairs.
“You need my what?” Liam hissed, spinning on his heel the second he hit the landing and turning to face Theo. Theo leaned back against the banister.
“I’m not repeating myself.”
“I think you’re going to have to.” Liam pushed. Theo leveled him with an unimpressed glare before turning on his heel and marching back up the steps they just came down. He knew curiosity would win out over pride. He was proven right no more than a second later. “Wait, Theo!” He didn’t, just kept skipping up the stairs, all too aware of the scramble of feet behind him as Liam tried to catch up. “Why do you need my he-” Liam broke off in a startled scream that was only ended by a crash. Theo turned back slowly. Lips twitching as he saw Liam clawing at the stairs, one leg sunken deep through the trick step. Slowly, as Liam thrashed and growled like a caged animal as he tried and failed to free himself, Theo stalked back down the stairs. He stopped, just above Liam dropping into a crouch.
“You been hit by a bludger one too many times or were you always this stupid?”
“You know I was always this stupid.” Liam snapped, giving up on his futile escape attempt
“Do you ever think before you speak?” Theo mused, lips twitching despite himself. Liam took a breath, quite clearly composing himself as he stared at the step in front of his face. Suddenly he changed, squaring his shoulders, chin jutting out defiantly as he raised his head to meet Theo’s gaze cooly.
“You said you needed my help.” He said calmly, like he wasn’t dangling like a First Year from the stairs
“I did.” Theo nodded thoughtfully.
“Why?”
“I thought, perhaps, you were smarter than you looked-” He waved at Liam’s current predicament. “-Clearly I was wrong.”
“Theo.” Liam warned.
“I take my N.E.W.T.S at the end of the year.”
“I know, I’m counting down the days.”
“Gonna miss me that much?”
“More looking forward to the day I’ll be rid of you.” Liam grumbled.
“I’m having trouble with something that I know will be on the exam. I heard you're pretty good at it though.”
“I’m good at a lot of things, might want to be more specific.”
“Meet me tonight.”
“Why?”
“To help, obviously.”
“No, I mean, why would I help you?”
“Because if you don’t I won’t help you out of there.” Theo waved to the trick step, Liam still stuck halfway through it. “I’d think quickly. Lunch ends in a minute. You really want everyone to find the king of the quidditch field balls deep in a step.”
“Did...did you plan me falling into a step?”
“Maybe.”
“How?”
“You’re very predictable.”
“You’re a dick.”
“What did you expect, I am a Slytherin. Do we have a deal?” Theo asked. Liam didn’t reply, lips thinned in an angry line as the tips of his ears flushed with fury. “Those first years are going to have a brilliant first impression of yo-”
“The empty transfiguration room after dinner.” Liam grit. Theo grinned bright and no doubt annoyingly sunny before he pushed himself back up. Towering over the still trapped Liam, he considered, for a moment, leaving him there. For the whole school to find in thirty seconds, but, unfortunately, he did actually need the Gryffindors help. Theo held out a hand that Liam took with only a small amount of hesitance before he was hauling him back onto solid ground. He left Liam to get his bearings, stepping back onto the landing above them.
“Wait, what exactly is it I’m helping you with?” Liam asked, moving to follow Theo again, the staircase rumbled, shifting and pulling Liam away from the landing Theo was on.
“See you tonight” Theo said, darting up another flight of stairs that Liam knew he wouldn’t be able to reach for at least another few minutes.
“Son of a bitch!” Liam growled, Theo couldn’t help but grin as he walked away.
*
Theo would like to say that he had no doubt that Liam would show up, if anyone had asked he would have in fact, with a straight face and a steady voice but he was all too aware that even in the imaginary scenario where someone actually talked to him about anything, let alone about Liam, he was a great liar.
He couldn’t however lie to the anxiety bubbling wickedly in his stomach like a particularly thick potion popping as it brewed. Or to the voice in his head that whispered to him as he made his way to the hopefully not entirely empty classroom after dinner. The voice that told him no one would be waiting for him, or worse, that Liam would be there only he’d have his merry band of idiots in tow and Theo would end up spending his night in a verbal sparring match with Hogwarts most annoying. He tried to block it out, his hands clenching at his sides, curling into loose fists trying to ignore how naked he always felt when he was walking through the dark halls without his wand at the ready. He listened to the click of his shoes against the stone, counting them until the classroom finally came into view.
It was clear instantly that Liam had come, and alone, when the door slammed closed and the boy stalked the opposite direction to Theo, shoulders to his ears and muttering under his breath loud and bitter enough for Theo to catch some not too polite words about him.
“Well that’s not very nice.” Theo drawled. The teen snapped back around, eyes wide and mouth gaping gormlessly as he looked from the door, to Theo, to the halls they’d both been walking down.
“I..you..I thought-” Liam stuttered, before he seemed to remember his anger. “You’re late!” Liam sneered, or tried to, Theo wondered idly if Liam knew he was just about the least scary person Theo had ever met, Theo bit the inside of his lip to stop himself from laughing, or worse, admitting that when Liam was startled he reminded Theo of a mooncalf, and slid into the classroom Liam had just vacated.
Liam followed.
“I said, you’re late.” Liam grumbled bitterly.
“Technically you never said a time, just after dinner.” Theo said, running his finger through the thin layer of dust coating a table and throwing a smirk over his shoulder at Liam. The door closed behind them, leaving the room dark, with only the blue glow from the moonlight seeping through the windows to light it.
He took a breath, ignoring the way the anxiety in his stomach begun to boil and forcing himself not to pay attention to the way it looked like the shadows were crawling out of the corner of his eyes, how the shut door made his skin tingle with dread and the darkness crushed at his chest.
“If you’re done being pedantic-” Liam huffed, the ice blue moonlight bounced off his skin, like a forcefield from the dark.
“Pedantic’s a big word for you.”
“You want me to leave?” Liam said mockingly, hand shifting to the door handle as he raised a cocky eyebrow like he knew Theo would follow him if he tried. “Or do you want to tell me why we’re actually here so we can get this over with?”
“You bored of my company already?”
“Theo.” Liam warned. “Do you want my help or not?”
“I figured you were planning to tell me a ghost story first. Or are you just too lazy to put the lights on.”
“Asshole.” Liam huffed moving around to light the torches on the walls while Theo sunk back against a dusty desk and watched as the darkness was forced from the room with each small puff of flame. “You could help, you know?”
“You’re meant to be the one helping me though” Theo hummed. He couldn’t see Liam’s eyes but judging by the dramatic way his head wobbled he could only assume that he had been subjected to a patented Dunbar eyeroll.
“Why did you ask me for help? And not, like, Stiles.” Liam asked.
“Stiles would laugh at me.” Theo said honestly.
“And you think I won’t?” Liam finished lighting the last torch, turning with a mischievous grin.
“”It wouldn't be very chivalrous of you to laugh at someone in need of help.” Liam narrowed his eyes, distinctly unimpressed. “Believe it or not but you’re the best for the job. I hear you’re the master at the spell I need.”
“And what spell is that?”
“Will you help?”
“Not until I know what i’m doing.” Liam said petulantly.
“Liam.” Theo sighed. Liam sucked his lips in with a sigh. Theo was sure that he thought he looked thoughtful and if he weren’t in need of Liam’s help he’d point out that he looked more like he’d bit into a lemon, or desperately needed a dump. As it was, he stayed silent, waiting for Liam to make up his mind.
“I’ll help you if you help me.” The Gryffindor said eventually.
“Help you with what?”
“Ancient Runes.” Liam said.
“ You’re taking Ancient Runes?”
“Why do you sound surprised? Thought i was oh-so-predictable.”
“Most Quidditch players think Ancient Runes is about the Stonehenge,” Theo said.
“Are you calling me dumb?”
“I’m implying it.” Theo said bluntly. Liam’s lip lifted in a sneer, cheeks dusting red in oh so righteous anger. “I need you to teach me how to do a Patronus.” Theo said. Before Liam could start on a rant that would lead them both arguing and Theo’s hopes of learning the Patronus charm extinguishing behind a quickfire round of insults. Liam blinked twice. The anger vanishing as he took in Theo’s request.
“And?” He inquired after a few moments.
“And do it well?” Theo said unsurely.
“Nothing else?”
“No.”
“Oh...Awesome” Liam said, face lighting in a grin “I can totally do that, I kick ass at Patronuses.”
“Oh I’m aware, you’ve been bragging about it loud enough for the entire castle to hear ever since Scott taught you.” Theo snorted. And wasn’t that a slap in the face the year before when he’d been spending what felt like every minute locking himself in empty classrooms trying to get even a flicker of silver to spill from his wand only to hear someone a year below him had managed to form a corporeal Patronus within a week. “So you’ll do it?”
“If you help me with Ancient Runes then yeah. I’m not bad but-”
“Okay.” Theo interrupted
“For real? It’s that easy?”
“Quid pro quo, Dunbar. You teach me the Patronus charm I’ll get some ancient runes into that little quaffle head of yours-”
“Hey-”
“Dump your shit and lets get started.”
“Uh yeah no.”
“You just said-”
“I can’t do it now. Maybe if you'd showed up on time we could have started today."
"I showed up after dinner."
“Like forty minutes after dinner.” Liam huffed. “I’ve got to go get ready for quidditch.”
"Quidditch practise doesn't start for like three weeks."
"Me and the guys are starting early."
"The guys? You mean Scott and Stiles?” Theo snorted. “You don’t have to pretend you have other friends you know."
"Screw you I have other friends."
“Like who?”Liam opened his mouth “-And don’t say Mason or his boyfriend.” Theo amended
"Do you want to learn the Patronus charm or not?” Liam asked.
“Avoiding the answer there aren’t you?” Liam turned on his heel and stomped out of the room. “Same time tomorrow then?” Theo shouted after him. He took the answering middle finger as a yes.
*
Liam did turn up the next day, with an ancient runes book in tow that looked so old Theo was fairly sure the class would have been called ‘new runes’ when it was first published. If Theo was actually going to end up helping him with his studies then Theo would have to find the kid a book from this century.
“Patronus first.” Theo greeted. Liam slammed the book onto the table.
“I have an hour. We can do half an hour for you, half for me.”
“No..”
“You said-”
“I said if you teach me the Patronus I’ll teach you Ancient runes. You have to hold up your end first.”
“Yeah, which is why we’re doing half and half.”
“You’re not opening that book until I can do a full patronus.”
“That’s unfair.”
“That’s the deal.”
“Why do you even need it so urgently?” Liam huffed.
“I don’t. I have until the end of year exams.”
“Then why can’t we split-”
“Because I have no faith in you as a teacher.” Theo said.
“Screw you. I’m going to teach the crap outta you!”
And so the lesson began.
It became apparent within about the first fifteen minutes that Liam was actually a fairly adept teacher. Theo had expecting laughing when he first demonstrated the pathetic drizzle of sparks his Patronus currently was but instead Liam had stayed silent, brow furrowed and teeth working on his lower lip as he watched Theo try again closely and then, he’d offered no snarky comments, just suggestions on how to turn his hand just so so the Patronus could breathe, whatever the fuck that meant and Theo’s drizzle had, well, it hadn’t improved but it had drizzled a little bit brighter.
Liam talked through the wand movement with a knowledge far more astute than Theo had honestly been expecting, had demonstrated the right stance and used far more patience than Theo knew him capable of and yet. Still, Theo’s Patronus stayed the same.
“Why does it matter if you can do it?” Liam asked, after forty minutes of failed attempts.
“We’ll need to demonstrate a Patronus for our N.E.W.T.S”
“Dude, the only person who can beat you in an exam is Lydia. So what if you can’t do a couple of spells. At the very least you’ll get exceeds expectations. It’s not like you’re going to fail.”
“One spell-” Theo said bitterly. It was, in actuality, two spells, but Liam didn’t need to know that. “I need an O.”
“Why?” Liam asked.
“Because, Liam, you need good marks to get a good job.”
“I want to be a professor when I leave and I know I only need E’s for that.”
“You...You want to be a teacher?” And before the last forty minutes Theo probably would have laughed but as it was Theo couldn’t say it was a completely terrible idea. Just not something Theo had ever thought Liam would want.
“Yeah.”
“That’s…” Theo searched for a word. “So boring.”
“No it’s not!” Liam snapped. “It’s cool.”
“What do you want to teach?”
“History of Magic.
“History of...Liam the subjects so boring they have to employ an actual ghost to teach it.” Theo snorted.
“Oh and you’re gonna have such an interesting job. Are you?”
“Not without an O on my exams I won’t.” Theo grumbled. “I can’t become a curse breaker with an average mark in defense against the dark arts.”
“You want to be a curse breaker ?” Liam said incredulously.
“What’s wrong with a curse breaker?”
“Nothing but I thought you wanted to-” Liam broke off, mouth snapping shut with an audible click. His cheeks dusting pink as he turned to glare at the flickering lanterns lighting the room. Theo rolled his eyes, waiting for Liam to get over the slip. It wasn’t like Theo didn’t remember they had almost been friends for a whole week before everything went to shit. He didn’t particularly care what Liam remembered about whatever random career Theo had lied about wanting to join back then. “ I mean, why a curse breaker?” Liam croaked.
“For fun.” Theo drawled.“Better than being stuck in a classroom, dontcha think?” Liam’s eyes rolled back towards him exasperatedly.
“Is almost dying fun?” Liam mocked.
“I’ll admit it gives me quite the rush.” Theo hummed, lips pulling into a dangerous smirk. “Would you like to try it-”
“Try the spell again.” And so Theo did. He flourished his wand, said the words, thought the happy thoughts like he was freaking Peter Pan and watched as a small puff of silver light sprayed from the tip of his wand like a half-hearted sneeze.
“Mother fu-” Theo began.
“Maybe we should take a break?” Liam interjected. “You probably just like..need some rest you know? It's the start of term you're trying to get used to the new class schedule. Your brains all-” Liam did some impressive jazz hands around his head like it was meant to mean something.”-We can try again another day. I mean, you have like...ten months till exams right?.”
“Sure.” Theo said, glaring bitterly at his wand.
"I can meet on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Is that good with you?”
“Sure." He repeated.
"You'll get it."
*
“Why am I not getting it?” Theo hissed, resisting the urge to toss his wand across the room like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Almost a month of lessons with Liam and he still could do no more than have his wand shoot out Patronus confetti.
”I don’t know what to say dude. Your pronunciations perfect, your wand movement is like, literally out of the freaking book, theory wise you know the spell front and back. The problems clearly not how you’re casting the spell.”
“Then what is the damn problem?”
“Maybe your memory sucks.”
“My memory is fine.”
“Then your wands broken.”
“My wand’s not broken.”
“Then your memory-”
“I swear to Merlin, Dunbar-” Theo grit.
“Look, dude, The problem isn’t in the spell, so either it’s how you're casting it mentally or what you’re casting it with.”
“My wand is fi-”
“Then it’s your memory.”
“But-”
“Are we really going to go through this again?” Liam said dryly. Theo let his wand fall onto the table, curling his hands instead against the edge of the desk as he breathed evenly and reminded himself that cursing Liam into next year wouldn’t help, not when the dumbass was actually trying to help him.
Liam had a point, Theo knew he did. The only other time he’d had so much trouble with a spell was when he had been learning Riddikulus and hadn’t been able to think of a way to make his dead sister funny.
This time however he wouldn’t be pitied by the teacher enough to still scrape by with a good grade when he was a spell down.
“It’s my happiest memory.” Theo explained, voice edging on pleading in a way that left his stomach twisting with embarrassment.. “It can’t be...It has to be enough.”
“Well what is it?”
“What?”
“What’s the memory?”
“None of your business.” Theo said tensely. Liam rolled his eyes so hard Theo feared they’d fall out of his head.
“Dude, if you want to learn you have to actually work with me. What is it?”
“What’s yours?” Theo replied challengingly. He expected Liam to balk, to tell him to mind his own damn business. He didn’t expect Liam to scoff and start talking.
“My mum and dad's wedding. They let Mason be the ring bearer with me and then he tripped up the aisle and pulled me down with him, we threw the pillow the rings were on like five feet, it hit the priest in the face-”
“You know it’s meant to be a happy memory right?” Theo started, Liam flipped him off.
“Everyone was dead silent waiting for mum or dad to lose it, you know? But then mum laughed, like, so hard she ended up crying on the floor and Dad went with her. We couldn’t find the rings so they used mums hoop earrings and neither of them could stop laughing. Their vows sounded like two donkeys braying at each other. It was...ridiculous.” Liam said with a fond smile. Theo studied the curve of his lips, the spark of joy shining in his sky blue eyes and wondered, not for the first time, what it would be like to have memories so normal. So carefree and happy.
“Now It’s your turn.” Liam decided.
“Fine, I…”Theo grit his teeth. “You remember when I first transferred to Hogwarts-”
“Transferred?” Liam snorted. “More like-” The Gryffindor’s voice died as he met the death glare Theo was throwing his way. “You were saying?”
“I had private lessons, with Professor Deaton?” Liam nodded, gesturing for Theo to continue. “The first few lessons were boring...easy. Simple First Year transfiguration i could do in my sleep-” Theo muttered, ignoring the lump in his throat as he tried to figure out how to put it into words. “-levitating a feather, kinda stuff. but then he taught me the cheering charm.” He swallowed past the lump, running a finger through the dusty table as he remembered the office, the way his hands shook as Deaton had turned his wand towards him and his blood had run cold. “It took almost an hour before i stopped moving away from his wand but eventually I let him do it on me and then I had to do it back.” He could remember the warmth of Deatons office, the tremor in his own hand as he turned his wand on Deaton and the unexpected lightness pushing at his diaphragm as a smile found its way onto his face all thanks to a spell.
“He let you do a spell on him?” Liam gasped. Theo ignored the bitter twist of anger clawing at him, the reminder of who he was, of where he came from, fighting into his mind.
“Yes Liam, he let me do a spell on him.” Theo snapped. The phantom warmth of Deatons office vanished “Anyway, it was a bit too strong, he had the giggles for a few minutes. That’s my happiest memory.”
“Giving your teacher the giggles?”
“Learning the cheering charm.” Theo corrected stiffly.
“Dude, that sucks.” Liam snorted. Theo shot him a dark look. “No, seriously, man, that can’t be your happiest memory that’s terrible. I've had happier nightmares.” The Slytherin felt his lips twisting in the mockery of a smile as he remembered how different their lives were. How naive Liam could be.
“You know the rumors about me Dunbar.” Theo said. “What makes you think my life was anything other than a nightmare before I got here?”
“Well yeah but...I mean, you’ve been at Hogwarts for four years. That’s like...loads of time to make new memories.”
“Nothing that beats that.”
“It’s pretty clear what the problem is then dude. The Patronus charm needs a happy memory, like, full-on bring happy tears of joy to your eyes memory and that’s...I mean dude it’s pretty bad. Your happiest memory is learning a spell? You need something better than that so just think back and-”
“I don’t have anything better than that.” Theo admitted, forcing the words out past the lump in his throat.
“Then you’re not going to be able to learn the charm.” Liam said bluntly. Theo had known the words were coming, hell, he was sure he’d figured out the problem last year but hadn’t wanted to admit it, had let himself stew in the lies he usually pulled off so well, lies like maybe his wand work was wrong, or his pronunciation was the problem. Had tricked himself into believing that maybe with a tutor as naive and hopeful as Liam he could fix it. Now however he was slapped with the truth as Liam laid it out flat for him, he was not normal, he didn’t have happy memories, when people in his memories cried it wasn’t from laughter, when the bodies in his memories fell down they didn’t get back up. His memories were twisted, his soul just as much and no amount of lying about the problem would change the truth, that just like with Riddikulus he was too broken to perform a Patronus.
“Fine. Enjoy failing Ancient Runes.” Theo said. Stashing his wand back in his pocket. His fingers felt cold, his chest filled with ice like the dementors he’d be so bad at getting rid of were diving into his chest.
“Wait what-” Liam stuttered.
“Deals off.” Theo left the empty classroom, sucking in breaths that seemed to get trapped at the back of his throat as his legs lead him away unconsciously.
You’re not going to be able to learn the charm Liams voice mocked him, repeating again and again voice shifting from the Gryffindors voice to a girls voice to a voice that still left dread cascading down Theo’s spine and the phantom taste of blood in his mouth.
His eyes swept over the familiar halls, chest aching as even the portraits would scramble to look away, to not catch his gaze and he realised that this would be it, the best he would ever get. His happiest moment would forever be in an office with false happiness pulsing through his veins and ignorant thoughts of redemption circling his mind like a plague.