Chapter Text
High school. The place full of surly teenagers going through their grunge phases with too much acne and enough crippling insecurities to smother one-and-a-half tigers. Where young girls and boys come to grow up into young er women and men, since maturity is a concept unheard of to them, and somehow age makes them whinier and also dumber.
Enter Naruto: Just your average Konoha citizen. No, really. Unlike the plot of most movies, he isn’t hiding a secret superpower (like that guy in his favourite anime- Dorito Shippuden- who is a ninja), he doesn’t have another night-life, like being a mafia boss or a hacker. He’s the blandest, most ordinary, (slightly on the stupider side) person you might ever meet.
So why, pray tell, do we even give two shits about him?
Because his life is about to become extraordinary.
…
Naw, I’m just kidding. Wouldn’t that be cool, though?
Heh, I bet you fell for it.
Anyway, why we even bother to look at him is because his life is the prime example of an anime cliche, and we love us some of that overdone bs.
Case in point: Naruto himself. Happy-go-lucky, bright, sunny boy with confidence enough for every single person in his school who lacks it. Somehow unperturbed about his looks, despite being a teenage boy at a school filled with strangely hot guys- seriously, it’s like all the hot boys in the city had a meeting and unanimously decided to attend here instead of Iwa High School or some other place. Anyway: he’s always smiling, despite a tragic past, and is severely unaffected by other’s opinions of him if they happen to be negative.
His best friend: Sasuke. It’s okay that Naruto lacks the angst element entirely since Sasuke has enough for the both of them. Somehow also has a tragic past- but then again, that sells. Typical brooding best friend who cannot compute emotions, yet somehow manages to be one of the most popular people at school.
His other best friend: Sakura. Madly in love with Sasuke. What do you mean there’s more to her personality? Oh, right, she’s also a black belt in karate, taekwondo, and judo. You know, no biggie.
The love interest: Kakashi. One of the five most popular people at the school (despite looking like he might also be a mob boss, or maybe a person with so many allergies he needs his own section of air just for himself, it’s unclear) with eccentricities for days, including the unabashed reading of material unsuitable for children, and wearing a creepy mask at all times. Also somehow very sweet, because he can’t possibly be the love interest if he’s an asshole. It’s a holy grail miracle that he is single- how people fall in love with the five percent of his face actually visible is beyond the scope of this story. Oh, also, he likes men. Isn’t that convenient? Almost as convenient as the fact that he also has a sad and tragic past, so he and Naruto can connect emotionally .
The love interest’s supportive best friend: Even if said love interest won’t admit it, because he’s a borderline tsundere. Maito Gai, who rivals Kakashi in eccentricities. Popular-ish? Maybe notorious is more like it. Idolised by one Rock Lee, who just so happens to be a good friend of our protagonist. Small world, eh? Anyway, his main role is to help the love interest overcome stupid self-doubts, and also to maybe drag him to class and ensure he isn’t slacking off in some remote corner of the school. There is no one Kakashi trusts more.
Other friends: Asuma and Kurenai. Not as important, but their relationship is too cute to not include.
The other people don’t really matter, and are mostly side characters that exist solely to fuel the romantic tension (in ways completely unbefitting strangers who have no business interfering in the private affairs of others) between the adorably dense blonde, and adorably smitten Kakashi. What luck- charming, popular senior falls for cute and innocent freshman, when he could have literally anyone else.
Huh. I wonder where I’ve heard that one before.
Anyway, our story begins one fine morning. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. “But author-san, that’s a cliche !”
Look, it was either this or terrible rain, and even more cliched umbrella sharing. Take your pick.
But, back to the story.
For real this time (^ . ^)
“You ready for this?” Naruto asks, steeling himself with a breath. Before him stand the doors to the high school he will be attending for the next four years, provided he actually passes them all.
“... If I say no, will you expect us to hold hands and walk in together?” Sasuke, beside him, deadpans. Unlike Naruto, he doesn’t look too fazed about stepping through what ought to be perceived as the gates to hell. Or as close as one might get to it in the mortal realm.
Naruto’s face faults, “O- Of course not!”
Okay, it was in three out of the seventeen scenarios he’d envisioned for the big day.
“If you don’t move soon, I will leave you behind,” Sasuke warns, after what he has determined to be an appropriately long pause for protagonist-daydreams to occur.
And so he does, striding forward almost immediately.
“Hey! Wait!”
Laughing slightly, Naruto chases after him.
And so it begins.
The day begins relatively normally. Actually, it continues that way too.
He’s currently finding himself a seat at his fourth class. That’s when he happens to overhear something. Quiet gossip between two girls whom he should probably not be listening in on, but he’s never been the model standard for manners.
“Kakashi-senpai is graduating this year!” One of them bemoans, all dramatic gestures and hushed tones and everything.
Naruto’s ears perk up slightly, for one reason and one reason only.
This is the eighth time he’s heard that same name today.
“I know…” the other agrees, the abject picture of misery, “Oh, I’m so sad.”
Naruto wonders if this “Kakashi-senpai” is a very kind or charitable sort of person, for everyone to rue the year of his graduation so.
He’s curious, and frankly might have turned around to straight up ask who the hell this Kakashi is (because social niceties are beyond him), but the teacher’s arrival dashes that plan before it even begins.
He decides, after an hour of awful torture, that his admittedly very short-lived dreams of graduating as number one among his year have been nipped in the bud by the existence of Biology. Because of course when he has a big and important job years in the future, he’ll pass his interview solely with the knowledge that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell .
He can’t complain about the plant section though. He’s always liked plants, and it follows that he should also enjoy learning plant anatomy.
The teachers had run them through the sections in the textbook in all his classes thus far, and begun their respective first chapters- which, really? On the first day?
Anyway, disastrous classes aside, it is now his favourite time of the day.
…
…
… Lunch time, in case that wasn’t already obvious.
He meets up with Sakura first, by pure chance actually. She happens to be leaving her Math class at the same time as he descends the stairs from Biology. Biology is pretty useful for her, seeing as she’s an aspiring doctor and all.
They catch each other up on their days, and Naruto tells her about the kitten he and Sasuke saw on their way to school. Seeing as Sakura lives in the opposite direction as them, they don’t walk together.
They meet up with Sasuke at the entrance to the cafeteria.
“Man, I’m so hungry!” Naruto complains.
Sasuke glances at him, the barest hints of a smile on his face, “You’re always hungry.”
“Not true!” Naruto says, hotly, “I’m only hungry 80% of the time. The other 20% I’m eating.”
Sasuke rolls his eyes, and Sakura giggles, “Well,” she says, “I wouldn’t get my hopes up. That doesn’t exactly look like gourmet cuisine.”
She points to the line, where people are being served slop that goes by the name of spaghetti, and some unidentifiable vegetable that Naruto is pretty sure he will not be touching. “Are we sure that’s not breaking any food laws? Because those vegetables do not look healthy. What form of torture were they out through to look that squashed and bruised?” Sakura says, concerned, as they pick up trays and join the end of the line.
Sasuke does his tiny-smile thing again, and Naruto laughs.
They stand behind a tall man with a beard, who is probably a student, because he doubts any of the teachers would dress like that.
He glances back at them, an easy smile on his face, “Freshmen?” He asks.
Naruto would really like to know what about their faces and general demeanours screams fresh meat, and how one should go about removing that. It would be embarrassing if someone asked them that in their sophomore year, after all.
“Yeah,” he answers.
The man nods, “Pro tip: when they ask if you want meatballs, say no. Half of the meatballs are over cooked, and the other half are undercooked.”
“Does this happen often?” Sakura asks.
“Pretty much all the time.” The man answers, “Asuma, by the way. I’m a senior.”
“I’m Sakura! This is Naruto, and that’s Sasuke.” She points to them in turn. Naruto beams at Asuma as his name is called, and Sasuke graces them with one of his legendary “hn”s.
The line continues to slowly move up. Asuma is next to get his food, “Well, it was nice to meet you guys,” he smiles again, “See you all around some time.” He turns back to hold out his tray.
After everyone is done, Asuma having left after getting his food, Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura hunt down a table for themselves.
“Hey, look!” Naruto whispers, pointing, “There’s an empty table there!”
Indeed there was, conspicuously empty. Sasuke says conspicuous because he’d seen some people deliberately leaving the hall to eat instead of sitting there.
“Are you sure we’re allowed to sit there?” Sakura asks, fiddling with her fork, apparently having noticed the same thing.
“Why wouldn’t we be?” Naruto retorts, making a beeline for the table.
Sasuke knows, by the frequent glances they’re getting, that something is about to happen, and it probably involves that table.
Sasuke is right. Sasuke is always right.
Naruto reaches the table first, sitting down, ignoring the sudden hush that falls over the cafeteria.
His friends join him.
The chatter picks back up again slowly, and Sakura notices how the crowd keeps glancing between them and the door, almost anticipatory.
Naruto, precious little thing that he is, is completely oblivious.
Sasuke and Sakura eventually get carried in Naruto’s conversation, and slowly forget whatever impending disaster they are waiting for.
That turns out to be a mistake. Or maybe a good thing? It’s a little unclear.
Naruto is busy deciding which fry to eat first between his last two- the longer one is always nice to save for last, but then that one looks crispier!- when the door opens again. None of them spare it a glance.
“Eh? Who are you three?”
The female voice gets their attention, and they look up.
There stands a group of seniors, three boys and one girl. Naruto looks at them in turn, doing a double take on the guy wearing a mask that covers 50% of his face. Not even a sick-mask, an actual mask that looks like it might be used by a burglar to hide his face. Said man seems unconcerned by their presence, electing to continue reading- is that Icha Icha? Oh dear God, they’re getting younger every year.
Jiraiya would be ecstatic if he found out.
Ignoring the pervert, he looks at the woman, who doesn’t seem too annoyed. Just curious.
“Oh, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura.” The third one in the group is Asuma, who smirks at them, “When I said I’d see you around, I didn’t think it’d be so soon.”
“You know them?” The woman asks.
“Vaguely.” He answers. “Guys, this is my girlfriend.” He tells them.
“Yuuhi Kurenai.” She says, smiling, “Pleasure.”
There is silence for a second, before she elbows the third one in the group, the masked man, who grunts. The smile does not leave her face.
“Hatake Kakashi.” He says, not even looking up from his book.
The name clicks in Naruto’s mind. Kakashi? As in the Kakashi-senpai everyone always talks about?
Finally, the fourth one speaks, who looks rather like he has been waiting for this precise moment all his life, “What a stellar introduction, my eternal rival! I shall endeavour to surpass that!”
Kakashi finally, finally looks up, and it’s to say, “Hm? Did you say something?”
The man wearing too much green deflates. “Why must you be so hip and cool, Kakashi?!”
Naruto stares awkwardly. Who even says hip anymore?
Kakashi looks at them after, while the green man is busy ranting about how cool he is.
“Uchiha Sasuke?” He asks Sasuke.
“Yeah, why?”
Kakashi smiles. It’s a small smile, and seems a little tight, “I was a friend of Obito’s.” He says, “I’m sorry.”
Sasuke sighs, “I didn’t know my cousin much. I’m sure you knew him much better- I’m sorry too.”
Kakashi nods at him, and the tense atmosphere seems to evaporate in the face of the green man’s antics. Kakashi wears an exasperated face. He glances at them again, and it’s probably Naruto’s imagination, but they seem to linger on him for a second extra.
The green man eventually introduces himself, “I am Maito Gai- the Beautiful Blue Beast of Konoha!” he adds a thumbs up, and blings his teeth at them for good measure.
“Please stop introducing yourself like that…” Kakashi mutters softly, probably not intending for it to be heard. Naruto snickers a little, and Kakashi catches his eye, smiling.
“Hey!” something else clicks in his mind, “I know you- Lee has mentioned you!” Naruto says.
Well, “mentioned” is perhaps a mild word. “Sung infinite praises of” is more like it.
“You know the youthful Rock Lee?” Gai looks utterly gleeful, stooping to regard Naruto.
“Yeah!” he says, “He’s a huge fan of yours.”
Lee is a sophomore, then freshman whom Naruto had met at an ice-cream shop (read: accidentally upended an entire cone over).
Gai looks like he might say something more, but then Kakashi simultaneously crashes everyone’s brains by casually plopping down beside Naruto.
The entire cafeteria goes completely silent.
Gai, Kurenai and Asuma gape.
Sasuke and Sakura stare.
Naruto is confused.
Kakashi is still reading.
Kurenai exchanges a look with Asuma. Honestly, both of them had expected Kakashi to be the one to politely ask the three freshmen to find another seat, seeing as this was sort of theirs. He’d asked freshmen to move before, and would probably do it again. He usually found them new seats, before returning to the group and their table.
Never sat with them.
“Maa, seems we’ll be having company today. If everyone’s done, I’d like to eat.”
Gai falls back, possibly from shock. As nice of a person as Kakashi is, his skills with human interaction are equivalent to that of a cockroach- aka non-existent. Maybe that has something to do with how infamous he has become, or maybe it has to do with the fact that he deems “Feng Shui and it’s intricacies” an appropriate first conversation topic.
The book snaps shut, as Kakashi glances at his friends.
Like a trigger, the cafeteria suddenly resumes, everything moving again like Kakashi had un-paused them, chatter filling the void the silence left behind.
Kurenai is the next to sit, followed by Asuma. Gai joins them a minute later, having recovered from his impromptu nap on the ground- should anyone be more concerned about that? His friends adapt quickly enough, talking to the seniors animatedly (Sakura) or quietly (Sasuke). Naruto is still a little floored by this whole thing. By the way he’d heard people speak about Kakashi, it was like he was a God walking amongst mortals. They might have kissed the very ground he trod.
What they had done was probably a huge deal. Should he be thanking one of them or-?
His eye twitches as he looks at Kakashi.
The book is open again.
Kakashi is still reading.