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“Today we’re at Goatman’s Bridge, to look into our ongoing investigation: are ghosts real?” Tucker said.
Danny shook his head.
They began to walk through the dark forest, dirt, gravel, and leaves crunching under their footsteps. The usual sounds of nocturnal wildlife were unnaturally silent. Danny was the only one who noticed this, but he wasn’t about to bring it to the attention of his friends.
“Sam, do you want to tell us a little about Goatman’s Bridge?” Tucker asked.
“Oh yes, please do tell us the chilling tale of the great and terrible Goat Man.” Danny said. His companions ignored him as the camera changed hands from Sam to Tucker, and Sam began to explain.
“The Goatman is a demon rumored to have empty, glowing eyes and curved horns,”
“One might even say goatlike,” Danny interrupted.
Sam grinned at his comment but then steeled her face back into seriousness. “Many people theorize that he crossed over into the mortal realm as a result of portals opening during rituals done on the bridge by Satanists.”
“Not unlike yourself,” Tucker said.
“Tucker, I’m not a Satanist,” she said.
“Then why do you wear a pentagram around your neck?” Tucker replied.
“That’s a Star of David, you idiot.”
“Oh. Huh, I guess it is. Sorry.”
Sam rolled her eyes. “Anyway, the Goatman has been known to attack people, leaving visible scratches, and even possess people. There was even one instance where he threw someone off the bridge.”
“Welp, that’s great, good to hear that people have experienced actual, physical harm at the hands of this demon whose territory we are literally walking straight into,” Tucker said.
“We’re gonna say hi,” Danny said.
“I feel really, really great about this whole thing and I can’t wait for police to find our mangled bodies,” Tucker continued.
“That’s assuming he doesn’t eat us or something,” Sam said.
“You know, that’s really great, Sam, very reassuring. I really appreciate what you’re-”
“He’s here,” Danny said quietly.
Sam and Tucker froze, their hearts beating harder and faster in their ears. Tucker turned the camera to Danny, who stood still, looking straight ahead.
“What did you say?”
Any hint that something weird was going on disappeared as Danny turned to look at them, a pleasant smile on his face. “I said we’re here.” He gestured to the bridge just ahead of them.
It was very old and very weathered. The soft, splintering wood was tinged all different shades of brown, grey, and green from the moss and mud, and the red paint on the railings had been faded by years of sun and rain. Despite this, it was still bright enough to contrast sharply against the rest of the forest.
The three of them approached the edge of the bridge, no one crossing the threshold where the wood met the dirt. Danny scanned the bridge, looking for the ghost that had set off his ghost sense. He saw nothing but empty air. Fine then, he’d deal with the Goatman himself, before the thing could get the drop on Sam and Tucker.
Danny stepped onto the bridge, footsteps more silent than humanly possible as he walked forward. He cupped his hands around his mouth.
“Goatman!” He yelled. “Come on out and play!” The only response was Tucker’s breath catching, just behind the camera. “Are you hiding from me Goatman?! Big scary old Goatman hiding from puny little human Danny?”
“He’s insane,” Tucker said breathlessly. He and Sam began to walk cautiously toward their friend.
“Come and show yourself Goatman! You want to kill me, then come on! Dinner’s right here, you wimp! Eat up!”
“Undeniably insane,” Sam agreed. “He’s gone off the rails.”
“You can’t even touch me you, furry fuckface loser!”
“Far, far off the rails,” Tucker said, blood draining from his face.
Danny turned to greet the two of them. “Hey guys. Just warming him up for you.”
“Fo- What?! No way, dude I’m not touching this mess your making,” Tucker said.
“Don’t worry, I don’t think he’s even going to show up. Really, you’d think he’d at least say hello after we rolled out the red carpet for him-” Danny said.
“You rolled out the red carpet, we are unfortunate victims,” Tucker said.
“But that would require that ghosts actually exist,” Danny finished.
“Demons,” Sam corrected.
“Right, right,” he looked up and smiled as he saw a pair of glowing yellow-green eyes just behind them. “Demons.”
The Goatman charged at him, long black claws prepared to rip the trio to shreds. Danny pinched the end of Sam and Tucker’s jackets, one in each hand, and turned them intangible as the Goatman passed harmlessly through them.
“Did you feel that?!” Sam asked.
“That chill?” Tucker asked. “Yeah!”
“Dude, I literally have goosebumps,” Sam said, pulling up her sleeve and bringing her pale, bumpy arm up to the camera. “You cannot tell me you didn’t feel that,” she said to Danny, pulling her sleeve down.
Danny shrugged. “Nope,” he said.
“Well no wonder you didn’t feel anything, your arms are probably numb. It’s 50 degrees and you’re only wearing a t-shirt! Aren’t you cold?” Tucker asked.
“Nope, I’m perfectly fine,” Danny said. “Maybe your chill has more to do with the fact that it’s 50 degrees and less to do with ghosts.”
“Demons,” Sam corrected.
“Right, right,” He turned around to see Goatman standing on the other side of the bridge, shoulders hunched, huffing and angry. He flashed his eyes at the Goatman, showing him just who, and what, he truly was. The Goatman’s angry posture melted into one of shock and fear as it realized that Danny wasn’t a human, and he was certainly not puny. The King of Ghosts was far above his paygrade. Danny smirked. “Demons.”
The Goatman vanished.
It would later be pointed out by a fan comment in the following Q&A video that it looked like Danny’s eyes glowed while they were talking about that chill. They would propose the theory that Danny had been possessed by Goatman, and Danny would laugh for a period of time just long enough to be slightly uncomfortable. “Of course I wasn’t possessed,” he would say, as thousands of fans theorized that Danny was possessed, or had even been a ghost or demon himself all along. “After all,” Danny would insist without fail, “ghosts aren’t real.”