Chapter Text
Fukuzawa sighs. "We don't know where she is. The Port Mafia is trying to track her down now but she's surprisingly evasive."
The members of the Armed Detective Agency look at Fukazawa with varying degrees of apprehension, with the notable exception of Dazai, who has a worryingly blank look on this face.
"Shouldn't we be looking for her? Like, who's to say the Mafia isn't holding her captive? She's just a kid!" Atsushi is the most concerned of them all. He glances at Kyouka.
"They will be looking for her. Most of them would have been infected with the ability, anyway. Plus, if they'd caught her, they'd make it obvious. She'd be a great asset to them," Dazai counters. Yosano snorts.
Kunikida looks furious at the asset comment. "You should not be referring to children as assets. You of all people—"
"Plus, it's working on me, so obviously it's not touch activated. Port Mafia is definitely infected." Dazai looks gleeful, both at the successful silencing of Kunikida and the realisation that the Port Mafia is under the influence of a truth ability.
Fukazawa sighs. "Don't look so smug. You're just as much under its effect as they are." Dazai pouts, leans back on his chair until it rests on one leg. Kyouka kicks it, supposedly trying to distract from mentions of the Port Mafia, and Dazai falls backwards with a smack. "Oh, Kyouka-chan, to think you said you wouldn't kill anymore! I'm dying! Dying, I say!"
Kyouka ignores his complaints. "I didn't use my ability. It doesn't count."
"Someone call Chuuya! I need to apologise for leav—" Dazai goes wide-eyed and slams a hand over his mouth, but it's too late. Slowly, Ranpo turns towards him.
"You need to apologise for what, exactly?" Ranpo says, with the air of someone who knows exactly what Dazai meant and was not going to let Dazai forget it. As if he'd not complained about dying the previous moment, Dazai got up and promptly walked out the front door.
"Well," says Kenji pipes up, "I guess we know what that ability can do."
—
Dazai's exit left the agency in silence. They'd underestimated the girl's ability –– to be so powerful as to get Dazai to admit he was sorry for leaving Chuuya. Not to mention infecting Dazai in the first place. The members eyed each other, in silence, unwilling to open their mouth and confess that they were the ones that had gotten into Ranpo's snack stash, and that they did so because Ranpo was never too smart when it came to sweets.
"So," hummed Atsushi, suffocated by the awkwardness, "does anyone have anything they'd like to get off their chest?"
Kenji piped up. "Nope! You guys know everything about me!"
Kyouka glared at Kenji's carefree disposition despite everyone else in the room being susceptible, at any moment, to vomiting up their deepest secrets.
"Kenji likely won't be affected as much," mused Ranpo, "since he's already honest. It'll be like normal, for him. Everyone else, keep your mouths shut. Don't answer questions. This ability likely just limits your filter or inhibitions. You won't realise you're about to say something until it's already out."
Yosano smirks. "Hey, Ranpo, Poe's in your bed right now?"
"Obviously— Oh." Ranpo freezes. Everyone in the room looks at him.
Naomi is charmed. "Oh, Ranpo, that's so sweet! He's perfect for you––"
Naomi is cut off by Ranpo sprinting into the closet and locking its door. Then Ranpo opening the door again, adding "Yosano commits tax fraud every financial year," and slamming the door shut once again. All eyes turn to Yosano. Kunikida snaps his pen.
—
Kyouka, Atsushi and Kunikida sit in a cozy booth in the corner of the downstairs cafe. Kunikida looks uncomfortable with not being able to work. Or relax. He is eating his fruit toast with unnecessary force. Atsushi channels his anxiety not into his poor, undeserving food, but his nails and by bouncing his leg, which in turn annoys Kunikida, who stabs at his food with even more anger, which makes Atsushi even more anxious. And so on. Kyouka looks serene. She sips on an obscenely large chocolate milkshake and watches the two rapidly approach the breaking point of their weird positive feedback look.
"This is a disaster," Atsushi groans, "I'm so scared that I'll accidentally tell you that I haven't eaten a vegetable for two weeks."
Kunikida freezes, and waits for Atsushi to realise his mistake. Atsushi's eyes go unnaturally wide. "Would you like to repeat that, brat?"
"I'm sorry! I just can't afford them! They're so expensive! Kuni—"
"Neither have I," Kyouka interrupts. "I eat whatever Atsushi eats because I don't want him to feel bad that I can afford vegetables and he can't. Oh. Sorry, Atsushi."
Kunikida looks like he's ready to crack. His knife is perpendicular to his plate. "So let me get this straight. Because Atsushi can't afford vegetables on his Agency salary, you do not use your Port Mafia savings to buy the both of you vegetables but instead eat whatever he's eating so you don't damage his ego."
"Yes," Kyouka says, like it's obvious, "plus, I don't want to give Mori-san the satisfaction of knowing I was forced to use the money I earnt in the Port Mafia. Oh. It happened again."
Kunikida looks a little embarrassed that he hadn't considered the means of acquiring the Port Mafia savings. He remains stilled. It becomes obvious that he doesn't know how to refute this point. Luckily for Kunikida's pride, Atsushi bows his head to the table and begs.
"KyoukachanpleasegivemethemoneysoIcanuseitandyoudon'thavetofeelbadplease! Oh, God! I did it again! Kyouka-chan don't listen to me," Atsushi blurts, his face is in his hands, and his neck is turning a spectacular red. He and Kunikida now match in their complexion, though the former is regaining his composure. Kyouka watches as his face slackens, deep in thought.
"Actually, Atsushi, that isn't a bad idea." A pause. Then, as if remembering his previous mistake, quickly adds: "if you're okay with that, Kyouka-kun. Both of your well beings are more important than your past actions."
Kyouka looks a little shocked for the first time that day. Atsushi looks close to tears.
"Pardon that last part, this ability—"
"You really think that, Kunikida-kun?" Atsushi wobbles.
"Yes—" Kunikida coughs with embarrassment, "I mean, I value you both—"
Kunikida is cut off for the second time by a sobbing Atsushi and a remarkably more composed Kyouka diving over the table to tackle him.
—
Dazai wanders the streets of Yokohama, limping a little on account of Kyouka's earlier sabotage. Of which resulted in him admitting something he himself was not aware of. Dazai mourns the loss of face. He also mourns at the realisation that his judgement and mind may not be as clear of emotional fog as he had previously thought. The ability scared him, just a little. To have the power to draw on the deepest of one's subconscious? For the victim to have no defence against what may force itself out of their mouth? Terrifying, indeed. Not that he would admit it.
Apologising to him, Dazai thinks. Chuuya'd have a ball with that.
"I'd have a ball with what, Mackerel?"
Dazai whips around. He'd said that out-loud, on the one day Nakahara 'I hate doing pointless things' Chuuya happens to be taking a leisurely stroll in the park. He continues. "Why are you talking to yourself. It's weird. Actually, why aren't you at the office? Shouldn't Kunikida be babysitting you or something?"
Chuuya frowns and tilts his head. Dazai is reminded of how much he used to do that, back when they were kids. "Stop staring at me."
Dazai snaps. "I'm sorry for leaving you, Chuuya— shitIhatethisabilitysomuch––"
"Dazai?"
"The, the stupid ability, you know the one! The, Ididn'tmeantobetrayyouandIwishIdidn'tleaveyouwithoutanexplanationbackthen, shit, this goddamn—"
"Dazai."
"—ability, oh, God, shouldn't you have it, too? Why am I the only one spilling my guts? If you're not inf—"
"Dazai!"
Dazai looks up.
"I would have come with you if you'd asked. It hurt. When you left me."
Chuuya resolutely shuts his mouth. Without changing expression, he promptly turns red, spins around, and speed walks away from a stunned Dazai.
—
An alert notifies Ranpo that Kunikida has messaged the ADA group chat. All ADA members please return to the office. It is unwise to be in public whilst under the influence of this ability. The Port Mafia is working hard to find the user but we still don't know her whereabouts. Dazai replies to this message with a photo of himself standing on the edge of a tall building, making a peace sign. Atsushi replies with concern. dazai-san where are you!!!!!!!! followed by, please don't do it! i'm sure we'll find the girl soon!. Kyouka contributes a single lmao. Kunikida shows significantly less amusement: Dazai, get down from there right this instant. You are embarrassing the Agency. Dazai replies with it appears only atsushi-kun cares about me. to him i bequeath my full collection of hats that i stole from chuuya. gudbye cruel world. Ranpo turns off his phone and rolls over to stare at Poe. Who is already staring at him. He startles.
"Jesus fucking Christ!"
Poe's eyes widen as his face flushes. "Oh, Ranpo, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean—"
"I don't mind. When you stare at me." Ranpo halts and blinks furiously. "Ah. The ability."
Poe looks on with concern. "What ability?"
"I wish you were affected by it. Then I would know what goes on in that head of yours— Damn, this ability is making me seem like such a sappy loser." Ranpo accentuates his whining by thrashing around in emotional agony.
"Ranpo? I still don't know what you're talking about?" Poe's hands flutter above his writhing form, hesitant. Ranpo is now face down on his pillow with resignation.
"Truth ability," he says, words muffled by the pillow.
"Ah," says Poe. He picks up Ranpo's discarded phone in an effort to distract himself from Ranpo's unusually sappy demeanor.
ADA 9+ new messages
Kunikida
I do not care what you do in your spare time but do not kill yourself in the Port Mafia lobby. No one will find it funny. Akutagawa.... Read more
Poe carefully places the phone back down. He thinks that maybe he's glad he isn't officially an ADA member.
"Anything important?" Ranpo mumbles through the pillow.
"Not particularly," he replies, breezily.
—
At the Port Mafia headquarters, the situation fares somewhat better, if only due to the slightly higher level of maturity. That is, excluding Akutagawa as an outlier.
"Akutagawa-senpai, please come out." Higuchi is crouching by the office door as if she's a parent trying to coax out a scared child. Which is not too far from the truth.
"No."
"I swear I won't make fun of you if you accidentally tell me something."
"But I will," comes another voice behind Higuchi's crouched form. Gin leans over Higuchi to say this directly to the door. Higuchi subsequently feels a flush running up her face.
"Higuchi, tell Gin to go away."
"Higuchi, tell Ryuunosuke he's being a sook."
"Higuchi, tell Gin that she is just as much of a sook as I am."
"No, I'm not!"
"Then take that stupid mask off and stop pretending you're not a girl because you're scared that everyone will think less of you!"
Higuchi thinks that maybe listening to Akutagawa go on an emo rant about Dazai's approval (or lack thereof) isn't so painful, after all. She also thinks that maybe Dazai had a point about the whole suicide thing.
"Well, maybe, you should take your own advice and stop trying to prove yourself to Dazai! Isn't that what you always tell the man-tiger?"
More silence. Higuchi wonders what she'd done in a past life to deserve this.
"Uh, I think, I might go check on the investigation—"
"No," both Akutagawas say, in unison. Higuchi shrinks and prays that her next life will not involve two emotionally stunted mafia assassins having what is quite possibly the first deep and meaningful conversation of their lives. She opens her phone, texts Chuuya a quick 'send help' and promptly passes out.
–––
ADA
12 members
[4:26 pm]
Atsushi does anyone know where dazai-san is i cant find him!!!!!!!!!!
Kyouka probably dead or smth do i look like the obituary column to you
Kenji Haha that's funny Kyouka!
Kyouka thank you kenji.
Atsushi guys???????
Tanazaki don't panic atsushi, he's probably just finding someone for a double suicide :)
Yosano or he's dead LMAOOOOOOOO
Atsushi yosano-san!!!!!!
Yosano what i'm just being realistic
Atsushi where's ranpo? im sure he'd know
Yosano probably smooching his man
Kyouka ew
Atsushi GUYS!!!!!!!
Dazai [image.png] can't have shit in detroit
Atsushi DAZAI!!!!!!!!!!
Kenji Dazai-san where are your shoes?
Yosano lmao how do you get your fucking shoes stolen
Yosano stupid ass
Kyouka why don't have shoes dazai
Dazai its an artistic choice. you guys wouldnt understanwswbqwdibjreh
Kunikida Apologies for Dazai's behaviour. He drank too much and fell asleep on a bench and someone stole his shoes. I'm returning him to the office now.
Yosano LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO
Kenji Haha Dazai that's really stupid!!!
Kyouka ^
Atsushi oh no i hope dazai-san is ok
Kunikida Also, Kyouka, would you mind contacting Chuuya?
Kyouka ok
Kyouka why tho
Kunikida Dazai will not stop talking about him. It is getting annoying and they need to talk.
Kyouka he says he'll come if someone buys him a bottle of romanee-conti
Kunikida Great. Tell him Dazai says ok.
—
Higuchi returns to consciousness and immediately realises she's lying on Chuuya's very expensive leather chaise. Like, more-than-Higuchi-earns-in-a-year expensive. "Oh, Chuuya-san, I'm so sorry, you didn't need to do this, oh, God—"
"It's fine, Higuchi, calm down," Chuuya sighs. "Akutagawa, Gin."
The two siblings shuffle into the room. Higuchi remembers the events leading up to her faint and wishes that she'd never woken up. As much as she admired Akutagawa and Gin, she did not need to be privy to their sibling fights. Higuchi's attention is drawn back to the present by Chuuya clearing his throat. "Go on."
Gin elbows Akutagawa. Akutagawa looks embarrassed but bows deeply, which Gin imitates. "Ahem. Uh. We're sorry we made you listen to our fight."
"And?" prompts Chuuya.
"And I'm sorry that I acted—"
"Like a little bitch."
"—so immaturely back then..." Higuchi watches as Akutagawa processes what his sister said. "What the hell did you just say?"
Chuuya foresees what is about to happen and intervenes. "Both of you. Out."
"But—"
"Now."
The two quickly make their way out. Higuchi feels distinctly out of place, wondering if she should leave, too. She glances over at Chuuya, who now sits at his desk with his head in his hands.
"Are you ok, Chuuya-san?"
"Dazai," he explains.
"Ah," she says. That does make sense, and Higuchi knows for a fact that she does not want to be in a room with Chuuya while he angsts over Dazai.
She bows to Chuuya and turns to leave the room, wondering how at the root of almost every problem in the Port Mafia was Dazai.