Chapter Text
It was Chan’s last year while he still had two more to go. Two more years in which Chan would start his training as an Auror. With his grades and position as Hogwarts’ Head Boy, there wasn’t much that hindered him from becoming one. He had always wanted to be an Auror, just like his father.
All Changbin wanted was to teach young wizards and witches. He had always enjoyed tutoring and helping his friends when they struggled with a subject and despite the dark aura, he liked to pretend surrounded him, he has quite a soft spot for those dear to him and he just loves to see realization dawn onto his friends’ faces once they get a spell or a potion right.
Chan had always been there for him, too. Helping him understand something when he was the one struggling. But now it was Chan’s last year and he would not be coming back to be with Changbin and his friends when he would be in his sixth, and finally, his seventh year. It was troubling Changbin so much that he didn’t even notice his professor calling his name again “-bin! Are you even listening? Five points will be taken from Gryffindor for not paying attention.” The professor’s disappointment was written all over her face and Changbin just wanted the floor to open and swallow him up. He couldn’t just lose points for his house, and on top of that, make Chan look bad. „I’m sorry professor, could you maybe repeat your question?”
The teacher sighed and repeated her question. Of course, Changbin could answer it without a problem and he felt a little better for not messing up completely. Just when the class was over, Jisung and Felix were already glued to his sides, one twin on each. “Were you-„, Felix started and looked up at Changbin before Jisung finished his sentence, „daydreaming?” The disbelief was evident in both of their voices and Changbin felt put on the spot again. He let out a groan and hugged his books against his chest even tighter. „And what if I was?”, he mumbled with a scowl on his face. Ever since the school year began, he was rather on edge and not really focused in his classes. He was worried about Chan’s departure and what that would mean for him and his friends once their oldest Hyung would leave. Surely, Minho would take his place and then…then it was Changbin’s turn.
But that was not what he was worried about. He was worried what that would mean for them. For their relationship.
They had always been close, ever since Changbin came to Hogwarts when he received his letter at eleven years old and Chan had been in his third year already, welcoming Changbin into the Gryffindor house with that warm smile of his, dimples on his cheeks and wild curly hair on top of his head. They had been acquaintances, friends, best friends and now lovers.
He wasn’t ready for that to change yet.
Had he talked to Chan about his worries? No, of course not. The older had been busy with his studies as soon as they came back to Hogwarts and he has had little time for Changbin and his friends. But they were understanding of that and supported him to chase his dream of becoming an Auror.
Once they arrived at the Great Hall, the twins bid goodbye to Changbin, already late for their next potions class. But Changbin was heading to the library to get a few books for an assignment he had to finish by tomorrow. Usually, he would grab them and meet up with Chan in the Gryffindor common room, but the older was packed with classes and promised Changbin to catch up in the evening.
Just a few more hours he told himself as he sat down with a sigh, grabbing his parchment paper and quill. About halfway through, he noticed the big ink spills all over the parchment and once he read through what he wrote, he wanted to start crying. He had managed to slip in Chan’s name over and over again in his assignment. Just as he was about to rip the sheet of parchment into pieces, a familiar voice made him jump in his seat. “I can tell you an easy spell that corrects your text.” Seungmin was standing diagonally behind Changbin, a gentle smile on his face as he pushed up his glasses a bit. „And something to fix the ink splotches too.”
Out of all his friends Changbin was glad that Seungmin caught him in this embarrassing state. The others would have teased him but Seungmin didn’t lose a word about the mess in front of Changbin. Changbin, who was always composed and did his work neatly.
„Please”, he sighed in defeat and looked at the younger move his wand and mumble two spells that fixed everything for him. Seungmin wasn’t as nosy as Jisung was or as teasing as Minho. Being the only Ravenclaw in their friend group, he didn’t always have it easy, but he was the perfect addition to their little chaotic group.
„I take it you can’t focus well?”
The younger put his books onto the desk as Changbin rolled up his parchment. He could finish this later. Seungmin was right, he couldn’t focus right now, so he shook his head and cracked his shoulders. He was as tense as Professor McGonagall’s bun - awfully tense.
„Why don’t you take a bath on the sixth floor? In the Prefect bathroom”, the Ravenclaw suggested, looking at his friend, „It’s not like the boyfriend of the Head Boy doesn’t have the password, am I right?” There was a small smile dancing around Seungmin’s lips as he said that. Of course, Chan shared the passwords with his boyfriend and Changbin was really thankful for that and because it was Changbin, none of the teachers complained. He was a good student and he didn’t cause any trouble.
„Maybe I should do that”, the Gryffindor said and closed the book about mythical creatures in front of him, his wand in his hand. „What would we do without you, Minnie?” He got up and fixed his uniform, thanking Seungmin again and returning the book. „Oh, and before I forget it, can you tell Jeongin that I’ll help him with his Transfiguration homework tomorrow?”
„Sure, will do, Hyung.”
_____
No one else was in the Prefect’s bathroom as Changbin entered it. Or so he thought. He could hear the quiet splashing of water as he walked deeper into the room, thinking about leaving again. But once he saw familiar dark locks being ruffled with a towel, he felt a tug in his heart. Chan. He seemingly just finished his bath, little clouds of steam emitting from the exposed skin that peeked out from his bathrobe.
“Hey”, Changbin said, his voice almost breaking as he just said that little greeting. Why was he suddenly nervous with his own boyfriend? Almost, as if he would slip through his fingers again if he said too much, when all he wanted was to be wrapped up in his strong arms and bury his face in Chan’s chest like he does at night.
The elder’s head whipped up and he quickly closed his bathrobe, but once he could make out his boyfriend through the steam, he relaxed again and a loving smile pulled at the corners of his lips. “Hey, Binnie. What are you doing here?” Chan’s voice had the same soothing effect as always. Changbin could simply listen to Chan all day long and not get tired. No matter, what the older Gryffindor might be talking about. He could be talking about his Astrology homework or about one of his Head Boy duties, Changbin would always listen to him.
Changbin didn’t say anything to answer Chan’s question as he watched the elder finishing up his bath and grabbing his bag. Of course, he just finished when Changbin arrived. What were the odds? But Changbin wasn’t mad at his boyfriend. He was just a little sad that he had almost been lucky. Just almost.
“Well, obviously to take a bath”, Chan said with a chuckle, “but why the Prefect’s bathroom? Don’t you usually just take a normal shower? Is everything alright?” Now there was worry on the elder’s face and he walked up to Changbin until he was standing directly in front of him, their chests almost touching. Chan was a little taller than him, always had been, and he could easily kiss Changbin’s forehead if he leaned forwards just a little bit. And that’s exactly what he did. His soft lips came into touch with Changbin’s forehead and the younger crumbled under the loving touch, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend to pull him into a hug. Chan hugged him back without any further question and put one of his hands onto the back of the younger’s head, cradling it carefully. Almost, as if Changbin would break.
“Is everything alright?” The whispered words brushed against Changbin’s hair and reached his ears within seconds, but he still didn’t answer yet. But after a deep breath, he took mercy on his worrying boyfriend. “I just can’t focus.” That wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either.
“Then a relaxing bath is just right, hm?” Chan’s fingers carded through the younger’s hair and his nails slightly massaged his scalp, helping Changbin to slowly let go of the tension in his neck, his shoulders, his whole body until he went lax in his boyfriend’s arms and they just stood there in each other’s embrace for a little while. “Yeah, Seungmin suggested that to me in the library and I thought I could give it a try.”
The younger Gryffindor pulled back a little to look up at Chan’s face with a small pout on his lips. He would have wished for them to spend a little more time together, but he could see that Chan was already elsewhere with his mind. Either the upcoming Quidditch game, a meeting with the Prefects or a test he had to study for. But all Changbin wanted to do was to stay in Chan’s arms for a little longer.
“That sounds nice, Bin. We can- “, Chan started, but the younger interrupted him with a sad but understanding smile, “-catch up later. I know. You have to leave, Quidditch Captain, Head Boy, busy student and best boyfriend in the world. Don’t worry, I’ll be waiting in your room for you, yeah?” The smile on Chan’s lips melted Changbin, but he would never admit that out loud. Maybe only really late at night, when he was half asleep already and high on his feelings for the older. “I love you, you know that, right?”, the older Gryffindor whispered, cupping Changbin’s face in his warm hands. He looked into the younger’s eyes and leaned down to peck his lips gently. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Okay, I love you too.”
The door of the bathroom closed before Changbin finished undressing to sit down in the tub while it filled up with fresh, hot water and bubbles. The water was warm and the herb elixir he found definitely helped loosen up his tense muscles, but it wasn’t Chan who warmed him and massaged the tension out of him. He let out a sigh and slipped deeper into the water until just his nose and the upper half of his face peeked out from the bubbles. The mosaic in the window looked a little dull, mirroring Changbin’s mood but also the weather outside.
The young Gryffindor stayed in the tub until the water turned cold and all the bubbles were gone. Quickly finishing up and doing a little cleaning, he got dressed again and got on his way back to the Gryffindor common room. A look at the time told that it was dinner time soon. Chan usually missed breakfast, lunch and dinner, so Changbin always got a portion for him directly from the kitchen. The house elves didn’t mind it, they did it gladly as Chan had helped change the rules and working conditions for them in his role as the Head Boy over the course of the last years. They always made sure it was enough for him, since he sometimes could challenge the hunger of a Hippogriff. So, he stopped by the kitchen and ordered some food to pick up later before he joined his friends in the Great Hall for dinner.
It was a little unusual to have students from all four houses sitting at one table, but they made it work. The twins were already there, slurping some pumpkin juice, while Hyunjin was finishing a bracelet, waiting for their Slytherin friends. Jeongin apparently just finished Quidditch practice since he was still in his Quidditch uniform as he walked into the Great Hall from the other entrance, followed by Minho who probably watched him during practice. The younger Slytherin was the youngest in the group and the second oldest watched over him like a hawk. And while Jeongin pretended to be bothered to be babied like that, everyone knew that he secretly enjoyed it and everyone also knew that Minho would put a Petrificus Totalus spell on anyone that dared to hurt the younger Slytherin. The only ones missing now were just Seungmin, Changbin and, well, Chan.
The Ravenclaw walked into the Great Hall just a bit after Changbin, almost passed through the Nearly Headless Nick, with his nose stuffed into a book about complicated spells and charms. The Gryffindor waited up for him and walked silently besides him, making sure that the younger wouldn’t run into another student or hurt himself. Once they arrived safely at their usual table – mostly it was the Hufflepuff table – and sat down, Jisung was already talking animatedly about the Boggart they had to face in Defence Against the Dark Arts. “I swear, when Hyunjin was standing in front of it ,the Boggart turned into a field of eggplants!”, he exclaimed, earning an exasperated gasp from Hyunjin, who had put his bracelet down and punched Jisung’s shoulder. “T-that’s not true! What about you, huh? Why was-“
Before Hyunjin could finish talking though, Jisung had jumped up and took out his wand with a nimble flick of his wrist, sealing the taller Hufflepuff’s lips with the Silencio spell. His hand was shaking slightly and his cheeks were a crimson read, resembling the crisp Red Delicious apples on the table. Everyone looked at Jisung in confusion. Everyone but Felix, who gently pulled on his twin’s sleeve to urge him to sit back down. The bickering between Hyunjin and Jisung was nothing new, but for Jisung to outright mute Hyunjin? That was new. Felix quickly undid the Silencio spell and checked on Hyunjin, while Jisung looked down into his lap, too embarrassed to say something.
“So…what did you see, Jisungie?” If it would have been anyone else Jisung might have answered, but it was Minho out of all people who asked. The Slytherin had loaded his plate with lots of food, ready to devour it after watching Jeongin in the ice-cold autumn afternoon. But before Jisung could even muster up an answer that would pass as a lie, because there was no way he would tell the truth, Jeongin decided to speak up.
“Where is Channie Hyung?” All heads turned to the Slytherin before five pairs of eyes landed on Changbin. Again, he felt put on the spot. Just this time it was his friends. He just didn’t want to bother them, even less so than Chan.
“He, uh, he’s busy”, the Gryffindor said quietly, his shoulders slightly slumped. He wished his boyfriend was here with them like he used to, eating and laughing with them, reprimanding the twins to stop pranking innocent students and leaving the ghosts alone. “He said he’d try to come for dinner.” But obviously he wasn’t there and the others knew he didn’t say that. They knew their eldest friend. But Changbin still tried to at least pretend as if everything was okay.
Everyone was affected by the lack of Chan’s presence, but no one was as affected as Changbin was. While all of them were pretty close, him and Chan just had that special connection that slowly had formed over the years through long nights at the library, the attempts to stay dry on the way from Hagrid’s hut back to the castle on a rainy afternoon and one too many sleepovers in one of the common rooms where they somehow always ended up next to each other and eventually fell asleep in each other’s arms.
“Well, the next Quidditch game is coming up. Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw. How about we make a banner for Chan Hyung?”, Felix suggested, gently trying to distract from the awkward tension that crept upon them at the mentioning of Chan. The Hufflepuff always knew how to switch topic without being rude and Changbin offered him a thankful smile across the table when the others started brainstorming ideas.
The rest of dinner was relatively quiet. Jisung was still too embarrassed to say anything, Changbin was lost in his head and didn’t even notice his friends leaving, calling it a night to return to their respective common rooms. Only Felix stayed behind, gently nudging Changbin’s leg under the table. The Gryffindor snapped out of his thoughts and looked up to notice it was only him and Felix left.
“Hey”, the Hufflepuff spoke gingerly, “if you need someone to talk, you can always come to me, Hyung. Are you alright?” The thing with Felix was that Changbin simply couldn’t lie to him.
“Yeah…I just, I miss him, Lix”, the elder mumbled and pulled the sleeves of his pullover over his hands, hiding them before he crossed his arms on the table and buried his head in them. The slight rustling of clothes and the soft screeching of a chair dragging across the floor let Changbin know that Felix had gotten up and just a moment later he was sitting on his left, giving a warm side hug. Felix’ hugs were as comforting as a bonfire and everyone loved them. Even Jeongin would indulge in them, even though he wasn’t very fond of physical contact in general. The young Hufflepuff didn’t even need to say anything for Changbin to lean into his side and miserably fail at keeping the sobs in. Felix’ hand gently rubbed over the Gryffindor’s back, offering him silent comfort, just letting him cry. There weren’t many students left in the Great Hall anyway.
“How about I bring you to your common room and stay a little with you before I head back to mine, hm?” Changbin nodded and wiped a few stray tears away with his sweater paws. “That would be nice, thank you, Felix.” The Gryffindor’s voice was slightly rough as he spoke, but the younger didn’t even mention it. He helped Changbin gather his things before they left for the Gryffindor common room.
_____
Being the Head Boy had its perks. Like the single bedroom at the top of the Boy’s dormitories that had the best view across the school grounds – except for the astronomy tower of course. Chan had left the curtains open and the soft moonlight lightened the room just enough to not run into any furniture. Chan was a night owl and Changbin had adapted to that, lying awake in his boyfriend’s bed, waiting for him. He had his wand between his fingers, lazily swaying it around and letting dim sparks of light shoot out of the tip, almost like stars.
The clock on the nightstand showed that it was almost midnight. Felix had just left about half an hour ago, staying longer than Changbin would have liked. He knew that the Hufflepuff would rather spend his time with Hyunjin than a sulking Changbin. Subtlety was something the two weren’t the best at, but no one commented on it. Yet.
Chan’s room was like his own to Changbin – minus the roommates – so he treated it as such, rummaging through Chan’s clothes until he found something comfortable to wear. Some sweatpants and a sweater that the elder usually wore to sleep. So, it smelled just like him and that was exactly what Changbin needed right now. And if the younger curled up under Chan’s blanket and pulled the sweater over his nose to be completely surrounded by Chan, no one needed to know.
He almost drifted off to sleep like that. It had happened before. Chan coming back to his room late at night, dark bags under his eyes from studying and other things he took care of and his boyfriend was already asleep, sprawled out on his sheets like a starfish. Not this time, though. Changbin wanted to stay awake, he wanted to talk to Chan. But not necessarily about his worries. He didn’t want to put another burden onto the elder’s shoulders.
His eyelids were about to flutter close after a five-minute fight of forcing them open again as they threatened to close witch each passing second. Just then the door opened with a quiet creak and Changbin shot up, violently rubbing his eyes with his fists, leaning back against the headboard.
“I’m awake”, he said with a sleepy slur in his voice, blinking a few times to defeat fatigue. “I promise.” Chan’s soft chuckle followed by the dipping in the mattress made the younger crawl over to his boyfriend and plant himself in Chan’s lap. “I brought you dinner, it’s on the nightstand. Want me to warm it up for you?” It was evident that Changbin was closer to sleep than being able to cast a spell to heat up Chan’s dinner.
“Bin, you should sleep”, the elder Gryffindor said, kissing the top of Changbin’s head, “it’s late and you could fall asleep standing if I let you.” He maneuvered them onto the bed with Changbin curled up against his boyfriend’s chest and they just lay there for a little while. It was enough time for Changbin to sober up a little and just stare at Chan’s chest. “I don’t want to sleep. I didn’t see you all day long, I…I missed you.” The younger squished his face into his boyfriend’s chest and inhaled shakily.
Chan’s hold tightened a little and he hooked his leg over the younger’s, pulling him closer. “I’m sorry I was gone all day”, he whispered, “I had to meet up with a few professors and the principal, though.” As soon as those words left the elder’s lips Changbin wiggled himself free a bit to be able to look up at his boyfriend. “Professors? And the principal? Did you do something to get in trouble?” Changbin could barely imagine that. No, Chan wouldn’t get in trouble. But maybe he got him into trouble because he didn’t pay attention in class? The younger paled slightly and his throat got a little dry.
“Was it my fault?”, he asked in a small voice, not daring to look up at Chan, therefore not seeing the confusion on his face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lose five points for Gryffindor. I swear, I’ll win them back. I didn’t mean to get you into trouble, Hyung. I’m so- “
A soft pair of lips cut Changbin’s rambling off and it had the desired effect. He quieted down and the heat of embarrassment crept up his neck and even coloured the tips of his ears. Chan had effectively shut him up in the gentlest way he could muster up. And it worked, it always did.
“First of all, I don’t care if you lose five points for Gryffindor, Binnie. You at least earn hundreds throughout the school year. Five points are not the end of the world. You’re allowed to make mistakes, yeah?” To accentuate his words Chan pecked his boyfriend’s plush lips for good measure and cupped his face gently, making him look up at him. “Second of all, I have good news.” The smile on Chan’s lips, the excitement and joy he was radiating made Changbin weak in the knees. Good thing he was already lying in bed and not standing anymore, otherwise Chan would have had to pick him up. Not that it would have been a problem for him, quite the opposite actually.
The mention of good news was a relief to the younger and he leaned into Chan’s touch, sighing slightly. Spending his whole day worrying finally took its toll on Changbin and all he wanted was to curl up in Chan’s arms and fall asleep to his voice. But he would listen to him first. He gently nudged Chan to encourage him to go on. The elder beamed a smile at him that made the dimples appear Changbin loved so dearly. Chan was happy.
“My Professors talked about my grades and the upcoming N.E.W.T’s and they decided that I could take one or two days off and accompany an Auror from the Ministry to see how they work. They will also evaluate my skills and maybe secure me a place on the waiting list for the training programme. But only if my grades in the exams match their expectations.” He looked at Changbin, who was at a loss of words, opening and closing his mouth like a Grindylow in the Great Lake. He was happy for his boyfriend without a doubt, but there was a twisting feeling in his guts that he couldn’t quite lay a finger on.
“Oh, r-really? Chan, that…wow, that’s amazing”, the younger finally said and attacked his boyfriend with a bone crushing hug. Despite Changbin’s small frame he was quite strong. “When will you go?” He would survive two days without Chan. They didn’t spend much time now either, but Changbin knew, while they couldn’t spend much time together at the moment, it was Chan’s dream to become an Auror and once all the stressful exams and extra duties he had at school would be over, they had enough time to make up for it. But that bad feeling wouldn’t leave Changbin, if anything, it slowly started to crawl up his spine, like an invisible hand barely touching him at all, inching closer to his heart. “When will you go? After the N.E.W.T.’s or-”
“No, actually next week. The principal cleared my schedule for Thursday and Friday. I’ll probably leave Wednesday evening and- Bin? Why are you crying?” Chan quickly switched from excited to worried once he saw the tears prick at his boyfriend’s eyes. “Hey, hey, look at me, love. What’s wrong?”, the elder asked and reached over Changbin to grab a few tissues from the nightstand, carefully dabbing the tears from the younger’s cheeks, a frown on his face.
The dreadful feeling now painfully squeezed Changbin’s heart. Either Chan had forgotten or…there actually was no other option. Chan would never hurt Changbin like that on purpose, he would talk things out with the younger. But he had not once mentioned their first anniversary in any of their conversations, nor did he hint on anything he had planned. Which only lead to him forgetting about it. If it had happened under any other circumstances, Changbin would have probably laughed it off, he wouldn’t have burst into tears. But with him barely seeing his boyfriend and the constant worry nagging him in the back of his head, he couldn’t keep his emotions at bay anymore. He didn’t blame Chan in any way, he just couldn’t help himself.
“Nothing, Hyung”, the younger said with a quiet sniffle, taking the tissue from Chan and blowing his nose. “I’m happy for y-you, really.” He really was, but the sadness outweighed the joy for his boyfriend’s accomplishment at the moment. “I’m so proud of you, Channie. You worked so hard to…to achieve this.” Changbin tried to muster up a genuine smile, but the new tears in his eyes blurred his vision and he just wanted to hide at this point.
“Oh, baby…” Chan pulled the younger tightly against his chest, letting his hand run up and down Changbin’s back, slipping under the sweater after a few strokes and resting on his lower back. “It doesn’t seem like nothing, though. Are you sad I’ll be gone for a few days? Or because we barely spend time together right now?” It wasn’t only Changbin who was affected by the lack of time they could spent together. But Chan had to be strong for both of them so he could comfort his boyfriend.
Shaking his head Changbin stayed silent for a little longer. He didn’t want to be the hysterical and clingy boyfriend, but he knew that he eventually had to tell Chan how he really felt, because there was no point in suffering in silence and getting swallowed up by his negative thoughts.
“No? What is it then, Bin? Did I do something wrong…?” The younger knew how much Chan despised doing something wrong, and the worry in his gentle voice was evident, so he took a deep breath and cleared his throat a little. They could always re-schedule, it was just one day within three hundred sixty-five and it was more about the meaning than the day itself.
“It’s just…it’s our anniversary, Hyung. We said we would go to Hogsmeade together and drink butter beer and get some sweets from Honeydukes and- but it’s o-okay, I get it. We can do that some other day.” The hurt in Changbin’s whisper almost made Chan wince. How could he have forgotten that? The elder’s arms tightened even more around Changbin and he rubbed his cheek against the top of the younger’s head. That seemed to break the dam for Changbin, because his tears were nowhere to be ceased, fisting the fabric of Chan’s t-shirt in his hands, sobbing into his boyfriend’s chest.
“I miss you”, he finally let out and rung for air between his sobs, “I m-miss you so much, Chan. You’re gone all day and I barely even see you at night either. I-I’m not accusing you, Hyung, I know you’re busy. I just…I can’t help but miss you. Your hugs. Your laugh. Your kisses… You.” The heart-breaking sobs he let out made the elder tear up a little himself. He had never intended to hurt Changbin so deeply. Now that the younger Gryffindor had started, it seemed like he couldn’t stop anymore. “I feel like you’re avoiding me, Hyung. I’m scared you’ll be so busy you might forget about me once you graduate after your N.E.W.T’s and…and you won’t…and you won’t look back and you focus on your career and- “
“Hey, Changbin, stop. Please”, the elder interrupted his rambling boyfriend softly, trying to keep him from spiralling deeper and deeper, “I’m so- I had no idea you felt like that. I…I’m sorry, Binnie. I wish I could be better for you…” Chan’s voice broke in the middle of the sentence and he wished he could turn back time to change things. “No, I don’t want you to be sorry, Hyung. You did nothing wrong.” Changbin was quick to reassure his boyfriend, “You’re perfect. You’re just busy and I understand that. You’re going to be an Auror, and on top of that one of the best the Ministry of Magic has ever seen, Channie. And I’m so, so proud of you, you can’t even imagine. That doesn’t change the fact that I miss you, though. A-and I’m sorry for worrying about such stupid things, I just…I can’t help it.”
Chan shook his head, trying to find the right words. “Binnie, it’s not stupid if it worries you that much. And your worries don’t just come from anywhere, they are rooted in something deeper. Something, that is my fault and…I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am. I can only promise you that I love you and…that I will always be with you, even if I’m not with you physically. I’ll always be with you here.” He brought his hand up to Changbin’s chest and placed his palm over the younger’s heart, looking into his eyes deeply, his own glossed over with tears too.
The younger looked down to where Chan’s hand was and his bottom lip started trembling, keeping his sobs in. “Chan…” Changbin’s voice was hoarse and tight with emotions as he pulled back and scooted up a little, so he was facing his boyfriend. He hadn’t intended to make Chan feel bad. He knew they couldn’t change anything about it, but it was important to talk about it either way. Changbin reached up to cradle Chan’s face with his hand, caressing the soft skin of the elder’s cheek with the pad of his thumb, catching a single tear with it.
“I don’t deserve you, Bin”, the elder Gryffindor whispered and looked down at his boyfriend’s lips, “if anything, you are perfect.” “M’not”, the younger mumbled under his breath as both leaned in, their lips meeting in a soft, almost hesitant kiss. It was more of a peck until Chan reached up to place his hand at the back of Changbin’s neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. The amount of time they had spent apart now mirrored in their desperation to be with each other more than ever.
“I’m sorry I made you upset, baby, I promise to take you on a Hogsmeade date every single weekend to make up for it.” Chan’s lips moved against Changbin’s as he talked, not wanting to break the kiss in favour of talking. “And I’ll buy you a cauldron full of sweets, no, a full suitcase worth of sweets, please…let me make it up to you, Binnie.” That made the younger giggle. He had already forgiven Chan, he wasn’t even mad at him to begin with, but he was feeling content that his boyfriend apologized to him and wanted to make it up to him. He just needed to get this out, to let Chan know how much he missed him and that he needed him. By saying all that, he could feel how the pressure in his chest lessened and he felt like he could breathe again.
“I’m already happy if you take me on just one date in Hogsmeade and if we try to spend more time together, even if it’s just us sitting next to each other while we study or do homework, Channie.” The younger pecked his boyfriend’s lips, and again, and again, and again and again. And again. “But I would never say no to promised dates and free sweets, I would be crazier than Peeves to say no to that and I would bring shame over the house of Gryffindor…so, I’ll hold you to your word.”
Chan cupped Changbin’s face and flipped them over so he was on top of the younger, smiling down at him. A rosy blush spread on Changbin’s cheeks and he pulled the sweater over the bottom half of his face, only for Chan to pull it down again to kiss him teasingly. And if Changbin basked in the extra attention a little more than he should have, no one needed to know that.
“I love you.”
The elder’s answer was another kiss and many more before he ate the already cold food because he was too lazy to heat it up and Changbin didn’t want to move from his comfortable place in his boyfriend’s lap, his head resting on Chan’s shoulder as he dozed off to sleep with the promise of less worries weighing down on him.