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I’wilo sat on the bathroom floor, next to the tub, with a towel under his butt, and a towel draped across his lap, and a towel draped around his shoulders, and a towel draped over his head like a shawl. He held a folded towel in both hands, and his face was buried in it. So nice to be home.
Zena was in the shower. I’wilo would have liked to be in the shower— would have joined her in the shower— only I’wilo did not fit in the tub with room for things like moving. And so, I’wilo had done a very unsexy Goldshire Springs™ awkward hosedown thing, and surrendered the shower to Zena. Towels were nice, though. “So nice towel,” purred I’wilo, into the towel.
The shower-curtain rings went shhhhhjing! Zena said, “So-nice towel, please.”
I’wilo surrendered the folded towel, which he had warmed for Zena. He fumbled for the edge of the towel which he wore like a head-shawl. He buried his face in that. “Mahjeek towellll,” I’wilo rumbled.
Zena dried off and wrapped her hair in the warmed towel; thank you, I’wilo. She borrowed the towel from his lap, folding it longways, to kneel. She ruffled the towel on I’wilo’s head and he let his hands drop to the sides as she dried his already-mostly-dry hair. “So, what is it about towels?”
“Me nevvah question gift from Loa.” I’wilo loosed a contented sigh. “Dahk soon. You come to shack?”
Zena pushed the towel back and laid her cheek on I’wilo’s forehead. “Yeah. For a little bit. Need to at least put in an appearance at the salon tomorrow. Gotta maintain my alpha status.” She covered I’wilo’s head back up with the magic towel/so-nice towel, kissed his forehead through the towel, and went off in search of a denim dress with magic pockets.
I’wilo sighed and stood, pulling the towels off. He hung them over the shower curtain, and the open under-sink cabinet door, and the open over-the-sink cabinet door. He abandoned the so-nice towels to go off with a so-nice Zena in search of a so-nice Larizu. So nice to be home.
Speaking of so-nice… “Me stop foah blue comb. Titty-nippahls fall out. Ri get ahpset if it die.”
“We bought combs!” Zena was checking her new dress out in the big mirror, which she hoped to look into from the big bed sometime.
“Wondahful!” I’wilo tugged open one of the dressers and grabbed some blue Galvin Crime™ shorts, shook his head and put them back. He pushed the drawer shut and pulled open the one next to it. He grabbed some pale blue silk boxers from a stack of pale blue silk boxers, which most closely matched SewLong™ Super-Duty Most-Purpose thread color: blue 0026.
“Mediocre for hair. They snag. Plenty of better combs at the sa’lon.”
“Ahn een-vee-tyeh-shahn?” Over the blue silk boxers, I’wilo wore tan shorts, and white undershirt, and pale blue shirt. He was doing a Larizu-likes-it thing. He intended to do so for some time, as he had accidentally caused Larizu to piss on himself, to save Larizu’s life.
“If you’re into it.” Zena went to sit on the bed, to let I’wilo check if he looked the same in the same outfit he always wore when he felt bad about truly messing up by Larizu; he did. She also leaned around a bit and checked out the angle of the mirror.
“Ah’m into e-vah-ree-ting, aht least once. Ey…”
“Hmm?”
“Cahn Wil be like lion?”
“Hell yeah.”
They did stop for some weird-smelling fuzzy blue throw blankets. I’wilo took five to the register, but he changed his mind and put back one.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
They found the goblins laying around on beach towels outside the door of the shack. Nardo, Trixxi, and Fizzik were arranged in a fan, with their heads pointed toward the door. The door was open, and Rizu lie on his back within, his head just peeking out of the doorway. An oyster shell full of roaches lie on the ground between their heads. It was understood that goblins weren’t allowed in the shack, and Larizu couldn’t be crowded in by no fucking goblins, but especially not in no fucking shack, so I’wilo considered this to be a big-big step.
Nardo smiled up at Zena and I’wilo with bloodshot eyes. He yawned. “He said it’s a special occasion because you resurrected from death.”
“Like Christ,” Trixxi chimed in, though her chime was decidedly subdued. She also smiled at Zena and I’wilo, and also had bloodshot eyes.
Fizzik stared at the sky. He raised one hand and did some kind of sign in front of himself: Up-down-side-side.
Nardo nodded. “Amen to that.”
Larizu ground a fist in his eye and said, “Bless all o’ it name.”
Nardo chortled. Trixxi cackled. Fizzik smacked his lips, squeezed his eyes shut, opened them, then flashed his very white teeth in a delayed grin. Nardo cleared his throat and sat up. “Arright. C’mon kids. Thanks Luh-ree-zoo.”
Trixxi and Fizzik got up and started gathering their colorful towels. I’wilo would have to look into those towels. Not with flamingos and sharks and guns, but maybe something nice, like hearts, or lion.
“Letcha get back to your bromance—“ Trixxi looked at Zena. “Do they let you watch?”
Zena grinned down at the goblin and shrugged. “Watch what?”
“You know, the laughter, the tears, the epic drama... They only got one bed. Do they talk in bed? Oh my gawd, do they ever mast— Hmm!”
“Kay, Trix.” Fizzik had draped his towel over his shoulder and thrown an arm around Trixxi’s middle, and one hand over her mouth. He lead her away. “Thanks, Larry-zoo.”
Larizu was already shuffling into the shack, while hiking up his sarong to retie it. “Ya ruined it. Goblins always ruinin’ shit.”
I’wilo came in slow, and low and sat in the big chair, for Wil to sit. He didn’t want to be standing around and intimidating Larizu, who had been out of I’wilo’s presence, and may have lost some of his intimidation-immunity. Zena leaned her butt against the workbench, with her arms crossed, and her low-cut flat brown suede boots crossed at the ankles. She was doing a smiling-at-I’wilo thing, and I’wilo had a matching thing going on. They were coordinating nicely.
“Stop fuckin’ eachuddah wit ya eyes,” Larizu grumbled down at the new-new blue-striped pipe, which he was packing with weak-ass organic free-range animal-rights-activatin’ sub-firewood cabbage grass, which he had scooped from his blue bag with an oyster shell. Between his toes he held the original grungy blue pipe. Between his other toes, he held the spare blue pipe, which was well on its way to becoming nicely blue, but also grungy. “It still count as fuckin’.”
“Me all used ahp,” I’wilo said, assuming that Larizu would be relieved that I’wilo’s rut was tapped, thus removing at least one potential intimidation multiplier. I’wilo winked at Zena, and smiled as he looked down at the floor.
“I didn’t ask ya dat,” Larizu grumbled, secretly relieved to hear aloud that the rut factor had been removed. He reached for his extra-stinky matches, but then decided upon his plain Zippy™, because they did not make them in blue, which was one of the most normal colors.
Zena looked at Larizu. “I kind of like the shithole aesthetic. Wish I could stay over again, actually. Unfortunately, big-boss alpha-groomer duty calls…”
Larizu raised a hand. “Wait.” He looked up at her. “Just a few minutes?” He asked quietly.
Zena nodded and uncrossed her arms. Her smile half-faded, and gained an element of perplexity. “Of course.”
“Tanks,” Larizu said down at the pipe. He just sat on his stool for a few more seconds. Then he stood and checked the front shutter latch: latched. Larizu started around Zena, who turned to watch Larizu, as Larizu shuffled across the room with his toes raised so that the two pipes between his toes didn’t scrape the floor. I’wilo also watched Larizu, though he did cast a questioning glance toward Zena, who only shook her head, as Larizu checked the door lock one-two-three-four times. And then one more time.
Larizu slid the bolt. He looked down. He let go the bolt and turned back and walked along the wall. He leaned against the wall between the closet corner and the front door, which was usually reserved for such activities as eating chicken and sometimes vomiting chicken.
Larizu held his pipe and looked at the floor. I’wilo looked at Larizu with practiced calm. Zena looked at Larizu with her lips sucked in and her wide eyes almost damp, like a gravely attentive frog in a dress with big awesome pockets. Larizu’s eye flicked from side to side, then up, as he raised his head. He raised his brow a little, and blinked, first at Zena, then at I’wilo. “I tot we try a game. It only take a few minute.”
I’wilo resisted the urge to look to Zena. He maintained most of his practiced calm for Larizu, although his heart did go a little faster for a reason he couldn’t quite frame, and it was difficult to keep the question out of his eyes and his voice. I’wilo managed, and he smiled. “Me like games.”
Larizu looked to Zena and his throat bobbed and he blinked. “Well, tro’ho?”
“Mhm. Yeah!” Zena nodded, and then followed up with the barest slow nod, and a slow blink.
Larizu said, “Wil, ya kneel or sit right here.” He shuffled to near the center of the shack, a little closer to the door and a little toward the back wall. “Once it start, ya can’t move for a few minute. So get…” He swallowed. “… comfortable.” Larizu’s foot pipes clinked a little as he stepped back and leaned against the chicken wall. Larizu indicated the floor near I’wilo with a nod. “Zena, ya go by Wil.” Larizu waited by the wall as Zena sat next to I’wilo. Both Zena and I’wilo hugged their knees loosely, as they waited.
Larizu took a deep breath and looked around. He pushed up his glasses and looked back down at the new pipe. “Da rules easy. I do nice, for bot’ o’ ya.” He looked up at I’wilo who flashed an encouraging smile and nod. Larizu looked back down. “And uh… I go over by da bed and do some… shit.” He shook his head. “Ya hold ya smoke as long as ya can. But ya can’t move.” The pipe in his hand shook. He swallowed. “Ya can’t move or make a fuckin’ sound until I tell ya. Not a move. Not a fuckin’ sound. Or it ruin it.”
I’wilo said, “M’ent gonnah move, Ri.”
Larizu nodded at the floor.
“Yeah, me neither,” Zena added. She reached over and took hold of I’wilo’s hand.
Larizu pressed his lips together and stood off of the wall. He shuffled around Zena and Wil, and toward the back window. He checked the latch. He left his foot pipes by the bed, circled back, and knelt before I’wilo and Zena. “Ok, let’s do di ting.” Larizu looked to Zena, then Wil, as he raised the pipe. KFFFFFFFT.
He leaned in to let I’wilo smoke his face, and I’wilo didn’t do anything weird, aside from smoke from Larizu’s face. KFFFFFFFT. Zena smoked from Larizu’s face. “It turnin’ into a habit. Everyone linin’ up…” Larizu stood up and walked behind Zena and I’wilo.
I’wilo and Zena were very good at the game. They released their smoke without sound. I’wilo’s ears did swivel, but there was nothing to be done for it. They held hands and didn’t move, and they listened.
They listened as Larizu sat on the edge of the bed. They listened as he put the new-new pipe on the overturned bucket with a quiet click. They listened to the silence when he watched them listen. They listened when he stood off the bed and sat on the floor to watch them a little more. They listened when he turned sideways to them and chewed on his lip and shivered a little… When he turned away to face the space on the floor near the bed, where sat a grungy blue pipe and a pipe-going blue… When his breath got fast and loud, and he grimaced into his hand and shook his head and made a small sound in his throat… When he wiped his eyes with his wrists, and lowered his hands and waited until his expression gradually smoothed out and he knelt down…
I’wilo and Zena squeezed each other’s hand gently and watched as Larizu came back around with all of his pipes in hand. He leaned against the chicken wall and looked tired. “One more rule, I forgot… forgot ta mention. If ya talk about di game, ya lose.” He looked up and did a shitty heartbreaking impersonation of a smile. “So don’t talk about it, okay? Game over. Ya bot’ win.” Larizu went to sit at the workbench.
Zena and I’wilo looked at each other on the floor. Maybe they didn’t know the game was over, and that they had won, because they were very quiet. Zena lifted I’wilo’s hand, which had very well-groomed nails; he was very conscientious about such things. She kissed his hand, and then watched him watch her as she got up to her knees. They hugged, and she stood and petted his hair.
I’wilo stayed on the floor a little longer. He turned to watch Zena hover her hand near Larizu’s shoulder without touching him. He watched as she walked to the far end of the workbench, nearest the door, and said, “Thanks for letting me crash. I had a blast.”
“Don’t talk like— Is dat like goblins?” Larizu looked over at Zena.
Zena shrugged and shook her head. “No clue. Hope we can do this again sometime.”
“Yeah. Yes. Just widdout da nail filin’. Don’t forget ya bag.” Larizu turned back to the workbench and lined up his pipes, in order of grunge, or in order of blue. He selected a jar, spun it open, and started packing the middle pipe.
Zena went to the closet and took a black-over-purple batik bag— pretty— off of the nail that held Larizu’s blue-and-blue batik bag. She furrowed her brow and opened the bag, looked inside, and snorted.
At the workbench, Larizu said to the pipes, “Fuckin’… literature-fetishist.”
Zena waved at I’wilo, and her smile reassured him as he watched from the floor. She locked the door before closing it.
Then Wil was alone with his Ri, and he turned to face the workbench and rested his chin on his knees, as he did in a cave in Northrend. It was much warmer here, in every sense of the word, so there was that. “Larizu—“
“Ya want some medicine?” Larizu held the pipe out to the side. He stood and brought the pipe and lighter over, looked around and got down on one knee with the pipe and lighter in hand. “It already a fuckin’ habit.” Larizu shrugged.
“Ahh you in any deen-jah?”
Larizu shook his head. He whispered, “No, Wil. I be tryin’ to work troo some o’ di mountain o’ crazy.” He shook his head again, and did a smile that looked like a sad apology. “No danger outside o’ shit I make up in my fuckin’ head.”
I’wilo was familiar with the apology-smile, but he couldn’t seem to gain any sort of immunity to it. He did his best to swallow his reaction to that painful smile, for his Ri, and he succeeded. “Den m’ent gonnah ask ya no moah ahbout it.” I’wilo shrugged one shoulder, and his smile was a little crooked, just like normal.
Larizu raised the pipe, lowered it, shook his head and raised it again. He held up the Zippy, turned his head to the left a little, to center his good eye on Wil. His ear leaned out and tipped forward.
I’wilo rolled his shoulder and took off the blue shirt. He straightened it out a little and turned around to drape it on the arm of the big chair. He looked at Larizu and smiled, and said, “Do nice foah Wil?”
“Don’t do nuttin’ weird or freaky.” KFFFFFFFFT.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I’wilo started rumbling the minute his head hit the pillow. So nice life. He blinked. So nice how bed smell. Like fantasy, a little. He looked over toward where Larizu lay facing the wall. “Ri, do you tink—“
“No.”
“Wil only mean to ahsk if you wish to lee-sahn on Wil. You know, foah keep ahway di night-meahs.”
… Larizu rolled over and squint-grimaced at I’wilo. “Well, now I have to, cause ya mention da fuckin’ nightmares.”
“Sorry.” The tip of I’wilo’s tongue stuck out a little between his teeth.
“Are ya fuckin’ grinnin’?”
I’wilo pulled his tongue in. “Mm-mm. No.”
“Oh.” Larizu snatched up his pillow and crawled over cautiously, as he wasn’t yet quasi-inoculated against resting intimidation. He ground his fist on the white eye, as the hazel eye squinted at I’wilo, who lay very still. “Don’t bug me about it.”
“M’ent bug you ahbout—“
Larizu’s fist stopped grinding at his glass eye.
“… nahting.”
“Fine.” Larizu flopped down with the side of his face on I’wilo’s chest. After a moment, Larizu pressed a hand to I’wilo’s chest and moved around until his ear was centered over I’wilo’s heart. His bat-blind eye blinked and moved from side to side a little, then closed. Larizu sighed quietly.
I’wilo waited quietly, until Larizu was settled in and had started to melt as Larizu did. Then, I’wilo said, “Also, do you tink maybe it good idea to expahnd shack? Nice cot, foah pay-see-yahnt to not bleed out on floah?” I’wilo moved very slowly, so as not to move intimidatingly, until his fingers found Larizu’s ear. “Moah supply closet, so broom don’t fall out. Room foah plate in closet… Moah room foah bahsket. Maybe… sink to replace wotah bahkeet?” I’wilo closed his eyes and played with Larizu’s ear and listened to Larizu’s broken purr.
“Yeah. And a purple room wit a bunch of naked fuckin’ pictures o’ Vol’jin stranglin’ a frog-mout’ half-elf, while he use his dick to launch her off a cliff.”
“No, no, Ri.” I’wilo fiddled with Larizu’s fuzzy ear. “Only, maybe day-off room oah sahmtin’ in case any… guest wish to come ahround.” I’wilo released Larizu’s ear, as Larizu took his pillow, shimmied off Wil’s tit, and rolled away toward the wall.
“Go in middle,” Larizu said. He ground his fist into the glass eye, and his toes curled.
I’wilo smiled to himself as he dragged his pillow over. He went to the middle and lie on his back very, very still. He barely breathed.
After a while, Larizu crawled over I’wilo, to the other side. Larizu stared suspiciously for a few seconds, as Larizu was wont to do after going to the other side, which was fairly exotic. Larizu lay down, and he pressed his ear to I’wilo’s chest, and he found I’wilo’s heartbeat. I’wilo waited a little longer, until Larizu shut his eyes, and then a little longer, until Larizu made his ear flick. I’wilo began to fiddle with Larizu’s neglected ear.
Larizu mumbled, “I don’t know. Maybe. But ya gotta go to your place to rut. I can’t be around it, or I’m gonna freak da fuck out tinkin’ it gonna be some territorial shit goin’ on around here.
“Ri, you know I’d nevvah—“
“I know dat, Wil. I just don’t know-know it, and I never fuckin’ will, so leave it be.”
“Me leave it be.” I’wilo petted Larizu’s hair, since it seemed safe.
… … …
“Ya awake?”
Wil yawned. He said, “I tink so.” He began petting Larizu again. “Whaht is?”
“If we make da place bigger, we gotta relocate. Outside o’ di city. Not far. People find me if dey wanna get put back togedder.”
I’wilo rumbled under Larizu’s rumble. “Do you wish to build neah sahm of di fon places?”
“Is dat stupid?”
“Mm-mm. No. So long as you come to city at least once ah week, so you don’t becahm ahgain like full-time fon.”
… … …
“So, dis mean ya gonna sleep in guest room?”
“Ahnd give up security-troll job wit benefit? Nevvah.”
“Asshole.”
“Yoah my security-troll, Ri. Also… Bed big enough to fit tiny elf. Make troll pile wit elf. Elf troll pile.”
“Fuck you.”
“Good night, Rizu.”
“Mhm.”
“… You should clean it. It stop itchin’.”
Larizu sighed. “Stop… I do it tomorrow.”
“Lahv you, broddah.”
“Shh.
…
…
…
…
…
“Yeah, me too.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Amen ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
- Wil