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Hal had never hidden his soul tattoo even if it tended to attract trouble. Perhaps he would have reconsidered his decision if said tattoo had been in bright green ink like his unfortunate soulmate’s was.
He was very familiar with the delicate pattern on his right hand, concentric half circles decorated with little flowers and leaves, all in a rich black. He let his fingers trace the half circles when he couldn’t sleep.
Hal had no doubt the interlaced wildflowers would have been an endless source of mockery for his schoolmates if Hal hadn’t shown them that he knew how to use his flowery fists from a young age. Jack’s lessons had been helpful more than once in the playground - big brothers could teach you a thing or two sometimes.
It wasn’t all bad. Many teenage girls had loved the pattern and sighed that theirs was just not as pretty. Some thought it meant Hal was a sensible guy in touch with his feelings, that it showed maturity and a tender nature. Retrospectively, Hal felt bad for those hopeful girls. He hadn’t shown them much more consideration than his peers.
Adults weren’t as easy to impress - they had seen many more tattoos and knew very well that they didn’t reflect their bearers’ personality.
It would have been easy for Hal to keep his soulmark hidden. Many people did, for a lot of different reasons - to give themselves mysterious airs, to avoid questions or to protect their double identities for example.
However, Hal had loved his soulmark when he was a very young kid and had stayed attached to it. He had always refused to be ashamed of the reminder of his soulmate’s existence.
He had a soulmate somewhere whose soulmark was symmetrical to his. There was someone out there who may love him just as much as his parents had loved each other.
Soulmarks didn’t really act like tattoos - you got them at birth and they grew as their bearer’s body grew too and never faded.
Hal remembered being younger and checking the left hands of every new kid he met. It had all been in vain. Hal had been an adult for a while and he still had no clue about who his soulmate was.
Things started changing at this bar they went to not long after the creation of the League.
He hadn’t had much time to meet new people that weren’t aliens for a long time and socializing sounded good so he had been willing to give this little informal League reunion a chance.
They were all in their civvies. That meant that Hal didn’t wear gloves and that his soulmark was not hidden. He had taken a sip of his beer and the sleeve of his jacket must have ridden up, if Green Arrow’s remark was anything to go by.
"Lovely flowers, dude," he had commented, pointing at Hal’s uncovered hand.
Hal hadn’t liked the smirk in his voice. He had looked levelly at the blond vigilante and bared his teeth.
"If you don't wish for a closer look, you better leave my soulmark the fuck alone," he had retorted.
The archer had quickly turned away from him to discuss with one of his other teammates. Hal had taken another gulp of his beer before realizing someone was watching him.
Bruce Wayne’s intense and unsettling gaze was focused on him.
"What, you don't like flowers either ?" Hal barked, ill at ease.
Bruce took a sip of his own beer before answering, not breaking eye contact.
"I like flowers alright. But yours lack color," he said, head tilted to indicate Hal’s hand.
Whatever Hal had expected, it wasn’t this.
"Seriously ? Look who’s talking. You want me to believe your soulmark comes in rainbow colors ?” Hal said skeptically, looking down at Bruce’s gloved hands.
It was cold enough outside to warrant gloves but Hal doubted that Bruce would have been willing to show them his bare hands otherwise. He wasn’t a very trusting person.
Bruce gestured for him to get closer. Hal did a bit reluctantly.
“Today’s not the day you find out,” Bruce said in a low tone, his breath caressing Hal’s face.
The next second he was gone and chatting away with Diana, without sparing a glance at his flustered teammate. Hal wasn’t so sure what to make of Bruce’s words but that had sounded a lot like a promise.
For a few months, nothing unusual happened. Hal was sent on missions by the Corps, logged some flights for Carol and went to Justice League’s meetings.
Hal had excellent eyesight, which was great for his job but not so great when it came to ignoring his teammates’ attractiveness.
Some women had caught his eye but it was true for men too.
He had had short liaisons with guys before that he had more or less classified as some healthy experimentation - he knew he wasn’t immune to men’s charms but being surrounded by men in excellent shape and tight clothing who could break you in a blink made it harder to conveniently forget it.
And in the middle of this, there was Bruce.
His insistence for sharing personal space when they were arguing was unnerving to say the least. Hal was quite certain you didn’t need to be so close to fight about strategic choices. The atmosphere tended to shift when they both found themselves in the same place. Hal had dreams about it. About - about them, for a lack of a better, probably more graphic description.
It was confusing. He spent half of his time getting into arguments with Bruce and the other half fantasizing about him. It was worse than high school.
They started sleeping together not long after that discussion in the bar.
Hal had waited for Bruce to make a move and thought that it would happen after a particularly heated argument or the rush of a battle. It didn’t.
They were on monitor duty when Bruce suggested they had a drink at his penthouse afterwards. The emphasis on the word “drink” had made Bruce’s intentions quite clear. Hal had happily agreed and tried not to show too much enthusiasm when they were relieved by Diana and Victor.
It had been a great night. They had had sex, but they had also had an actual drink before and talked for a bit. It was nice.
Hal had expected to have to make himself scarce afterwards but Bruce had caught his wrist when he had started looking for his clothes in the dark of the room.
“What are you doing ?” he had asked. “Come back to bed.”
So Hal had, and Bruce had immediately drifted toward him. They had fallen asleep facing each other, legs intertwined. When Hal had woken up, quite early in the morning, Bruce was no longer in bed. Hal found him in the living-room, fully dressed. He had been looking at the city sleeping underneath them, his forehead pressed against the glass walls.
He hadn’t turned on the lights but turned around swiftly when Hal entered the living-room and shoved his hands into his front pockets.
It was easy to forget the Bat when you looked at Bruce but it was always close, just under the surface.
“You miss patrolling ?” Hal had asked, stretching.
He was still naked and felt Bruce’s keen eyes roaming over his body, softly lit by moonlight.
“I was just doing some sightseeing,” he said and Hal could actually hear the smile in his voice.
He hadn’t thought Bruce could be capable of such warmth, before. He hadn’t thought for a second that Bruce would be an attentive and diligent lover. How wrong he had been.
If he seemed to enjoy the view, Bruce didn’t seem about to make a move, so Hal did. He went to kiss Bruce. His teammate sighed in contentment.
“Hal. I assure you I hate myself very much for what I am going to say, but I have to go,” he said, resting his forehead against Hal’s.
“Now ?” Hal protested.
“Now,” Bruce nodded.
He didn’t say anything else and the Lantern didn’t ask. It wasn’t his place, this early in their relationship.
“Let’s do that again soon, yes ?” Bruce asked as Hal walked him to the door without bothering to put some clothes on.
“Yes,” Hal said, kissing Bruce one last time.
“There’s a spare key on the table, take it when you leave,” Bruce said.
Hal nodded and shut the door behind him, a bit breathless.
It had only been their first night together. He had looked forward to the others.
It had all progressed nicely from there. They had kept seeing each other occasionally, sharing stolen moments of bliss whenever they could. It wasn’t as often as they would have liked, truth be told.
Apart from that, it was quite perfect. It lasted for about ten months.
They had kept arguing over a lot of things on a regular basis, but their first very big fight happened one morning at the penthouse.
Hal had been making breakfast for the both of them and Bruce had been watching him.
Bruce did that quite often, just stare at his lover. At first, Hal had found it a bit unsettling but it was now just labelled as another strange thing Bruce just did, in his mind.
However it was still quite early and Hal very much doubted his partner didn’t have something in mind. So he waited patiently for the coffee to do its work and for Bruce to show some more signs of humanity.
So when Bruce had wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed his neck, Hal had known he must have been ready for the discussion he hadn’t initiated yet.
“What do you want to ask me ?” he asked, leaning against his lover.
“Can’t I just want to spend some time with you ?”
“At seven in the morning ? Not very likely," Hal said, laughing.
He wanted to turn around to talk but he knew it was easier for Bruce to ask things when Hal wasn’t looking straight at him and their eggs were almost ready. So he just leaned on Bruce a bit more.
“You make me sound like a manipulative bastard.”
“You are a manipulative bastard, my dear,” Hal said, shaking his head and smiling softly. “Shoot.”
“Clark, Diana and I have dining plans for next week. However, I didn’t foresee a new development when I invited them to the Manor."
“Yes ?” Hal said, putting the eggs on two different plates and handing them to Bruce, who put them on the table.
“They’re dating," Bruce told him as Hal sat down on a stool.
“Hum ?” Hal asked.
Bruce's fingers were now tracing his soulmark and it was distracting to say the least. You would think that a man wouldn’t like the reminder that his lover would never be completely his, but as far as Hal could tell, Bruce liked his mark. He had touched it and kissed it many times.
Often enough for Hal to start to associate the mark with him instead of his soulmate, and wasn’t that dangerous thinking ? You couldn’t just forget your soulmate like that for - for something Hal wasn’t sure he had the words for.
Hal was under the impression he had already known about Diana and Clark somehow. It must have happened when he was off Earth but Bruce may have mentioned it since.
“I don’t intend to be the third wheel. Would you like to come ?” Bruce had asked him.
His eyes were focused on Hal’s right hand. His own left hand was bandaged, as always when it wasn’t pitch dark.
He had not touched his breakfast yet and neither had Hal. They were too distracted by each other.
“Sure," Hal said, shrugging.
He didn’t understand why Bruce had been so cautious with his proposition. Was he so desperate not to be alone with Clark and Diana ? Was the PDA so bad ?
“As my date ?” Bruce asked.
For a brief second, their eyes met. Hal was quite certain Bruce had read the horror in his because he immediately dropped Hal’s hand and Hal could see him shut down as he walked to the glass wall, turning his back to him.
As he pushed his stool back, the Lantern realized he hadn’t said a word.
“Look, Bruce, we’re not that kind of couple,” he tried, walking to him.
He may have overreacted a bit but Bruce had been a bit too assuming with the state of their relationship. According to Hal, they were nowhere close to going out with friends as a couple.
“The kind of couple that has dinner ?” Bruce retorted smartly, refusing to look at Hal.
Hal put a hand on his arm. The one with his soulmark on it. He could feel Bruce’s gaze looking at it.
“Don’t play dumb, please. We’re not even soulmates.”
They couldn’t rush their relationship forward knowing that there were other people out there who would fit with them better, who could make them happier.
“Soulmates mean nothing, Hal. I’ve told you I didn’t care.”
Bruce was stubborn about this. They had talked about soulmates before. None of those discussions had landed them in satisfactory territory. Bruce refused to see the higher potential of relationships between soulmates.
“But I do. You don’t even trust me enough to show me your soulmark,” he added.
Bruce sighed, letting his gaze fall on his left hand. He had bandaged it once again in the morning. Hal wasn’t aware of it, but Bruce only hid his soulmark from him and their teammates.
Not many people knew who Batman’s soulmate was, but plenty of people knew how Bruce Wayne’s soulmark looked. He knew he couldn’t hide it from Hal forever and that Hal would take it better from him but he also had no desire to tell him.
Hal would hate him for having hidden it from him. There would be a huge fight. He could feel his lover’s presence in his back as he rested his forehead against the glass wall. It was grounding.
“It’s not about trust, Hal. It’s a bit complicated,” he said.
Hal hummed and wrapped his arms around Bruce. It was obvious he didn’t feel like fighting either.
“So is our relationship. It might be better not to throw our teammates in the mix.”
“Our friends. You don’t want them to know,” Bruce said.
He shouldn’t have been surprised by the pain, he had noticed the symptoms that led to it quite some time ago. Breathing had never felt so hard.
“It’s a bit sudden. And it’s not like we were - like we are the same. Things between us are just different, right ? Are they soulmates ?”
He was still wrapped in Hal’s embrace but Bruce actually felt more lonely than he had ever had since they started seeing each other. Fucking, he should say, since dating seemed such a stretch for Hal.
“Not humans,” Bruce reminded him, rubbing his nose.
Diana and Clark didn’t have soulmates and right then it seemed terribly unfair. Clark could sympathize all he wanted, he wouldn’t understand, not really. Not that Clark and him discussed Hal over coffee.
“Hey, don’t take it badly. It’s just that I didn’t really plan for long term so I didn’t think you'd ever ask something like that.”
Couldn’t Hal just shut up ? Bruce had tried to keep a firm reign on his temper but it would have been easier if Hal had just stopped talking.
He freed himself from Hal’s embrace swiftly, barely reminding not to hurt him in the process.
“Good to know that you don’t expect our relationship to last. And what do you want from this exactly ? Should we hide for six more months ? A year ? Ten ? Or does our relationship end in June ?”
“Bruce -”
“I better go before we say more things we’re both going to regret," Bruce had said, and he had left without another word.
Hal didn’t know how their relationship had survived this. It wouldn’t have without Bruce. Bruce had made a point to apologize to Hal and had agreed to keep their relationship where it was for now - behind doors, mostly.
If it had felt a bit wrong in general and quite out of character for Bruce, Hal hadn’t mentioned it. Their relationship had been a bit strained since their fight, but things had mostly gone back to the way they were.
And if sometimes, he caught Bruce looking at him with a wistful look that made him want to scream, that wasn’t that bad.
They managed to find some sort of new, fragile equilibrium for a few more months.
Until the inevitable happened. Hal found out.
Bruce had never imagined they would have this discussion in the Watchtower. They were both on monitor duty and Hal was running late. He was starting to worry when he had heard Hal’s determined steps and the nearest door bang. He had winced internally for the door.
Since Hal was already angry, he chose not to offer him a target and didn’t turn around as he entered the room.
Until Hal slammed a magazine on the panel in front of him. Too bad, Hal was angry at him.
"You've been reading tabloids ?" Bruce asked in a disinterested tone.
He was stalling. He was way too aware that his left hand was resting casually over Cynthia’s right one and he was quite certain Hal hadn’t been angry because of the scantily-clad supermodel at his side. You couldn’t see the flowers and leaves well, but between its acidic color and the neat half circles pattern, it would be hard for Hal not to recognize his soulmark.
Bruce contemplated telling Hal he was sleeping with Cynthia to distract him but he doubted Hal would believe it and the model would murder him.
He must have ignored something Hal said, because the Lantern turned his chair around. Bruce’s eyes turned thunderous. Hal would have spared a few seconds to admire him if he wasn’t so angry.
"How dense do you think I am exactly ? Did you expect me to never find out ?” he spat.
Bruce stayed silent.
“Fuck, Bruce. My soulmate. How could you keep that from me ? You have known since Oliver’s remark in the bar, haven’t you ?”
“I have,” Bruce said when it was clear Hal was waiting for an answer this time.
He was half hoping for a League emergency at this point. Hal was full of rage and to Bruce’s chagrin, he was partly right about this. Bruce should have told him. It was quite the betrayal of trust.
"And you didn't think, I don't know, to tell me ? We've been seeing each other for months and you didn't -"
Bruce knew he should just have taken things stoically if he wanted a chance to mend their relationship after that fight but he just couldn’t listen to Hal’s misportrayal of their relationship.
"It’s been almost a year and a half, actually. And I thought we weren't an old married couple and that we didn't owe each other anything," Bruce said, returning Hal’s words against him.
He had told him that not long after their last big fight. Bruce had thought he was going to throw up.
"That's different. We're soulmates, Bruce, that's -" Hal said, trying to grab his arm.
"It doesn't change a thing. Not for me !” Bruce yelled, taking a step back.
He really hoped nobody had stayed at the Watchtower to finish some paperwork or something.
"How ? How can you say that ? How is it supposed to make me feel ?" Hal said in the same tone.
Bruce had to laugh at this one. Heavens.
"I don't know, Hal. How can you say that I mean nothing to you unless there's a soulbond involved ?" he said in a much quieter tone.
He knew he sounded tired. He didn’t even try to mask it. Fighting with Hal was emotionally draining.
"I've never said that," Hal protested strongly.
Bruce shook his head and pretended to check the screens to keep some dignity. He regretted having put the cowl off earlier. Putting it on now would be an admission of vulnerability.
"Close enough. I am only worth a fuck until you find out about our bond. Then suddenly, a relationship with me doesn’t seem so dire. How is it supposed to make me feel ? Please tell me, Hal," he said.
“You don’t want to understand.”
Hal had crossed his arms on his chest, as pig-headed as a child.
“Believe me, I'm trying,” Bruce said behind gritted teeth. “I’ve been trying to understand for quite some time, Hal. If you had just found out about your soulmate and it wasn't me, would you just have put an end to our relationship and left ?"
Hal’s silence was more than enough.
“Let’s just not talk for the rest of the night, if you don’t mind,” Bruce said.
And they did just that until they were relieved from monitor duty.
Arthur and Clark walked in and shared a glance. The atmosphere was heavy and Hal barely said hello when he walked past them.
“Not a word," Bruce hissed when he noticed Clark was about to say something before walking out of the room too.
Hal was waiting for him a bit further down the corridor and Bruce braced himself.
“I’ll make arrangements for us not to be on monitor duty at the same time for a while,” he promised, hoping it was what Hal had been about to ask.
Hal nodded and licked his lips, hesitating. Bruce did his best to focus on the upper part of his face and what Hal was about to say.
“If we’re going to end this…”
And what else could they do, really ?
“Give us one last time,” Hal demanded.
“Meet me at the penthouse in an hour," Bruce nodded.
He could give them that, at least.
Maybe it had been a mistake. There were too many negative emotions floating around that night. They projected too much disappointment and anger and frustration and betrayal and desperation. It even looked like hatred at times. All of the tenderness was gone. There was no place for vulnerability. It had more to do with making war than it had with making love. It felt so bitter.
They used each other. They did what Bruce had always tried to prevent them to do, they brought the fight to their bed.
There hadn’t been a tender aftermath, there hadn’t been affectionate laughter and soft embraces and kind words. They had fallen asleep facing away from each other, strangers sharing a bed.
In the morning, Hal had woken up when Bruce had grabbed his watch on the bedside table on his side. He had put down some paper here at the same time.
Bruce was already fully clothed, like he had been so many mornings ago, that first night. It seemed fitting. His left hand was naked unlike last night and Hal’s eyes hungrily erred on the green ink for a second.
“Hey,” he said, propelling himself on his elbows before sitting up, the sheets pooling around his waist.
Bruce offered him a smile but it was a bit too crooked and lacking sincerity. It was quite obvious he hadn’t intended Hal to wake before he left.
“So, last morning,” Hal said, lowering his eyes on his hands who were clenching at the bedsheets.
Bruce sighed and sat on the bed next to him, lifting Hal’s chin with his right hand.
"Hal. We have to stop. It was a getaway from the violence in our lives, I have no desire to bring any animosity to my bedroom. And I doubt you want to. I won’t do that to you. To us.”
Hal had noticed Bruce's reticence to bring conflict to their bed in the early days of their relationship. They didn't go to the penthouse to fuck when they were in a foul mood, they had fierce verbal fights in the Watchtower's meeting room in front of their teammates instead.
"I don’t want to do this when we’re so angry at each other.”
They had had rough sex with each other before at other occasions but never the way they had that night. They had been so inconsiderate of the other's desires, so disconnected from each other, taking and taking but never giving. They had barely communicated with words, which they almost always did to ensure each other’s pleasure.
It had been great in some ways, and absolutely terrible in others.
"We have to stop now. You know it and I know it. We're only going to manage to hurt each other. How long before we tear each other apart ? We're only going to make each other miserable. I don’t want to pretend we can go through this. I’ve always tried to be honest with you," Bruce said.
He couldn’t refrain from pressing Hal’s hand in his.
“But not on what matters," Hal retorted and Bruce took his hand back.
“If you say so, Hal.” he said, a shaky smile on his lips.
Bruce’s hands ghosted over his lover’s face, registering the sensation as he pulled him close for a last kiss. Hal closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the moment.
They hadn’t kissed earlier. He regretted that. He kept his eyes closed even when he felt Bruce drawing back. He hated when Bruce looked at him with sad eyes.
“I wish -” Bruce whispered, leaning his forehead against Hal, before clearing his throat. “Goodbye, Hal.”
Hal couldn’t say anything. He waited to hear the door shut to open his eyes and tried to keep his breathing under control. Only then did he realize that his cheeks were wet. The fact that it wasn’t from his own tears only made him feel worse about the whole situation.
"Shit," he muttered quietly, rubbing at his dry eyes before he started dressing.
Two hours and some arrangements later, he was off Earth.
Bruce had always thought that Hal would be the one to initiate the breaking up. It wasn’t any comfort. He wasn’t surprised to find Clark chatting away with Alfred in the living-room when he got back to the Manor.
“You look tired,” Clark said when they were alone.
“I am,” Bruce admitted reluctantly.
He didn’t have the energy for a lie.
Clark sighed and put a supporting hand over Bruce’s shoulder. Bruce shrugged it off, partly because Clark’s compassion was irritating and partly because he was covered in bruises.
"I assume you don't want to talk about Hal ?" he had asked and Bruce had shaken his head, his throat dry.
Hal only returned ten months later.
When he had left Bruce’s penthouse, Hal had pocketed the folded paper with his name on it waiting for him on the bedside table.
He wasn’t sure how he felt about Bruce finalizing their break-up this way instead of waking him up.
He had dreaded a long letter with all kinds of justifications. He only found two words, dead center.
Thank you. Bruce had written in black ink.
Hal had considered throwing it in the bin but had eventually pocketed the piece of thick paper.
He had found himself an assignment far away from Earth, told Barry and Carol and left as soon as he had been able to.
The assignment was supposed to last for three months but soon enough three months turned into six and six months turned into ten.
He would have stayed longer but he knew he had things to fix with Bruce. He had to try.
He had done some thinking in space and realized a few things here.
First, he had been an idiot. Okay, he wasn’t very proud of it, but it had happened before and it would happen again. In any case, he shouldn’t have treated Bruce like that.
Second, Bruce loved him an awful lot. That had come a bit as a surprise when he had figured this one out as he tried to understand the reasoning behind Bruce’s actions better. But then Hal had thought back about all their interactions, gazes and touches and realized that his first point was doubly valid. He should have noticed ages ago.
Third, he had figured it out at the same moment, he was very much in love with Bruce himself, which may explain why he had been feeling so miserable. He could have noticed that one quite some time ago too if he had been paying attention.
Fourth, maybe Bruce hadn’t been wrong when he had said that soulmates didn’t matter.
So Hal had given himself some time to pick the right course of action. Should he go back and talk to Bruce or leave the poor guy alone ?
Ten days later, Hal was back at the Watchtower.
"It’s good to have you back !" Barry had said, hugging him tightly. “We thought you must have run in some trouble. Are you okay ?”
“It was nothing bad, I am fine. It's nice to be home," Hal admitted.
He had felt a bit guilty for his friend’s concern but had let himself bathe in his embrace. Human contact was so fucking great and there was nothing like being deprived of it to appreciate it all the more.
"And you’ve left so abruptly,” Barry said. “Give us a warning, next time.”
Hal looked around but didn’t detect the presence of a dark figure.
Oliver had been the only one to join them. It was both a relief and a disappointment. Hal could speak more freely but he would have liked to make sure Bruce was okay.
"I needed a change of air," he said, in answer to Barry’s silent question.
"Most people take a two days vacation in a neighboring state. Not a ten months stay in another galaxy," Oliver remarked, crushing Hal’s shoulder friendly.
His friends had been worried. Hal sighed internally - he should have tried to contact them and let them know he was okay.
"My vacation turned into an assignment. Can we have a word ?”
If Oliver was surprised, he didn’t show it as he followed Hal in his quarters.
“When you mentioned the flowers a few years back, at the bar, did you know about Bruce’s soulmark ?” Hal asked almost immediately, once he had closed the door.
Oliver’s eyes narrowed on him, assessing him and what he probably already knew. He could have pretended he didn’t know what Hal was talking about - he hadn't, at first - but was quite certain that Hal had figured out the answer.
“I had met Bruce at social functions before," he said.
It was a cautious answer. Hal hadn’t sounded angry but superheroes weren’t known for their even tempers.
“You wanted him to notice my soulmark.”
“I wouldn’t have insisted if I had realized you would be so reluctant,” Oliver said, tilting his head.
Why was Hal asking ? He had wondered if Bruce’s sour mood had to do with Hal leaving so suddenly months ago. Hal’s reddening cheeks seemed to point out in that direction.
“Yes, about that, we’ll have some catching up to do at some point. There’s quite a lot of stuff I should tell you. But I need to talk to Bruce. How has he been doing ?"
Hal was pacing in the room and stopped to arrange a few pens and a notepad he had already arranged a few minutes ago on his desk. He turned around when Oliver took a bit too long to answer.
"What happened between you two before you left ? Because all the progress Bruce has made since the creation of the League in socialization and trust and all those nice interactional skills were gone for a while.”
Hal flinched at his friend's words but said nothing. Interesting.
“You’d have to tell me about this over a beer. And don’t worry about it, he's been doing better recently.”
Hal made a face. He should be happy that Bruce was getting over their break-up but it made him a bit uneasy.
"We’re going to need something much stronger than a beer. Does he - does he have someone ?"
"Not that I know of but Bruce and I don't talk about our girlfriends over tea. I have so many questions right now. I may expect answers some day.”
“Depending on how my conversation with Bruce goes, I may give them to you. Look, I’ve fucked up things very important for me spectacularly and I want to fix my mistakes.”
Hal willed his Lantern suit off to rub at his right hand.
“And I really should go find him," he said.
His friend grabbed his arm just as Hal reached the door.
“Hal, do you even know what you’re doing ? What if he doesn’t want to listen to you ?”
Ollie hadn’t wanted to voice his thoughts aloud for Hal’s sake but he couldn’t let him venture into the lion’s den without making sure he was well aware of that possibility. The lot of them weren’t a forgiving bunch, Bruce maybe least of all.
“Part of the job description is to hope against hope. And I wouldn’t hold it against him, sincerely. I would deserve it. The things I have told him… But thanks for the concern, I guess," Hal said before he pushed the door open and went out.
Later, back in his flat, he had texted Bruce. He had changed his mind about going to the Cave unannounced. First, Bruce may not be there and second, Bruce was a territorial person who didn’t like most surprises much. A heads-up might be a good idea.
Hal had stared for longer than necessary at their previous conversation - him apologizing for cancelling on Bruce at the last minute and promising to make up for it. You’d better, his then lover had answered.
Hal had but then Bruce had had to go to work for a bit and had told him they’d see each other at the Watchtower in the evening. So Hal had gotten some well deserved rest in the penthouse and wandered in Gotham’s safest streets for a bit afterwards.
He had gotten hungry, looked for a snack and his gaze had fallen on the tabloids on display. Bruce was on most of them, with a gorgeous model at his side. It had taken Hal a few seconds to understand where the sense of wrongness he felt looking at the pictures was coming from.
Bruce was just as gorgeous as ever, even if Hal could tell that his smile didn’t hold a candle to his genuine ones. And he knew the girls were just for show. Bruce and him had never talked about being exclusive in so many words, anyway. There was something else that wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
Suddenly, it struck him. Bruce wasn’t wearing gloves or a bandage. His hands were on display, and you could see his soulmark clearly on his left hand, spread on the blond model’s hip. And even if he hadn’t known his own soulmark so well to be certain it matched Bruce’s perfectly, it would have been difficult to miss the vibrant color.
The young woman’s dress was an approximative shade of green and for some reason, it made things even worse.
Hal had grabbed a tabloid, paid for it and came back to the penthouse. He had forgotten that Bruce wouldn’t be there. He had tried to tell himself that maybe Bruce’s tattoo was just very similar to his and that they wouldn’t match but he had known it wasn’t it.
The scene at the bar was making much more sense with this information in mind.
Yours lack color, Bruce had said. He had known all this time. He had known when Hal had asked him if he had ever wondered how his soulmate was. He had known every time Hal had brought up soulmates and he had dismissed the whole subject. He had known every time he had brought Hal’s right hand to his lips. He had known when they had argued about dinner with Clark and Diana.
The sting of betrayal at each of those revelations had made Hal so angry. He had hated Bruce for hiding something so big from him. At the moment, he had been unable to understand how Bruce had felt.
He had been furious when he had left Bruce’s penthouse for the Watchtower. The anger had only receded when Bruce had left in the morning, leaving place for emptiness.
Of course Bruce shouldn’t have hidden the truth from him but Hal could understand him better now. He could see how painful it must have been for him to see Hal so eager to find his soulmate when he was there all along. He could understand Bruce’s desire to be loved for who he was instead of what he was.
They were really bad at communicating, weren’t they ? He still hadn’t texted Bruce. Why was it so difficult ?
It must have been late in Gotham but Bruce was usually up until at least 3 a.m so Hal probably shouldn’t worry about that.
Back on Earth. Can we talk ? he had written after some hesitation.
It felt impersonal but it was probably for the best. Bruce had answered an hour later.
The Manor. 2 AM.
He wasn’t asking if it was convenient, he was expecting Hal to come all the same. However Hal couldn’t complain, could he ? He had gotten what he wanted - he would see Bruce.
He checked the time on his phone. He didn’t have much time to get ready. Apparently, Bruce wanted this to be dealt with as fast as possible.
Hal had dreaded their encounter. It had been nearly a year, so many things could happen in a year. However, the Bruce he had faced upon his arrival had very much looked like the one he had left.
He was just as stunning, his gaze just as piercing as it quickly examined him.
“So, you’re back,” Bruce said and he stopped, but Hal had a feeling he had wanted to say something else.
He also had the feeling that something else might not have been very nice.
"Yeah,” Hal said, standing there awkwardly in a clean t-shirt and jeans - he didn’t have the time to do better.
They looked at each other intensely without saying a thing or making a move for some time. Hal was the first to let his vulnerability show. He owed Bruce that much. He doubted his ex would ever listen to what he had to say if he didn’t go for full honesty at some point.
He had to try but he wasn’t sure what to do if Bruce rejected him.
“Can I ?" Hal said, taking a step toward Bruce and raising his arms.
Bruce nodded defiantly and Hal took the last few steps separating them slowly and hugged his teammate tightly. Bruce hugged him back.
Hal let himself relax against him. Bruce hadn’t rejected him outright. He let himself enjoy the warmth of the contact, Bruce running down his hands over his arms, Bruce touching his face and his hair.
It had been some sort of routine between them since Bruce had found out that assignments in space tended to let Hal touch-starved for human touch. The longer the mission was, the worse it would get.
It had been ten months and Hal could barely refrain from burying his face into Bruce’s neck. Bruce was doing him a favor, maybe it would be best if he didn’t take advantage of the situation. Bruce gestured for Hal to sit on the couch with him and let him cuddle up to him.
Before Bruce, nobody had ever noticed how hungry for touch Hal was when he came back to Earth. That explains so much Bruce had said when he had found out. Hal still wasn’t exactly sure why.
After that, Bruce had been careful to schedule extra cuddling times with Hal post-assignments. Hal was sometimes too embarrassed to ask. They would spend hours cuddling in bed for Hal’s sake.
"I missed that," Hal said some twenty minutes later, freeing himself from Bruce’s embrace.
Their conversation would probably go better if Hal wasn’t pressed against Bruce’s muscular body.
"Human contact ?" Bruce said knowingly as they both sat up more properly, leaving some distance between them.
Bruce grabbed a blanket and handed it to Hal, who wrapped it around himself. It lacked Bruce's warmth.
Hal shook his head lightly. His soft smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
"No. You. Can we talk, now ?"
They had been silent, each of them lost in thought, for the most part of the cuddling.
They did talk, for an excruciatingly long time.
Hal did most of the talking.
“So to sum it up, I know I’ve fucked up badly. I’ve never wanted to hurt you and I'm sorry for the way I reacted but I still believe you should have told me we were soulmates. If not right away after you’ve found out, then when we’ve gotten together. As much as I’ve hated it, I know that you were right to put an end to our relationship. I am glad you did,” he concluded.
Bruce hadn’t said a word but had kept his eyes on Hal the whole time.
“Wait, no, I don’t mean it like that. I am glad you were lucid enough to stop it before it became ugly,“ Hal backpedaled as soon as he realized how it must have sounded.
He paused long enough for Bruce to ask if he was done with his little speech.
“No. I’ve said things to you that I shouldn’t have. I am not an easy man to love and I hate to think it has brought you pain.”
Bruce had tensed at the mention of his affection for Hal.
“Touching,” he scowled.
Hal put his hand on his teammate's knee - and took it back under his companion's glare.
“Bruce. Sure, I've never intended to fall in love with you. But I was halfway there after the first night we spent together.”
“Then why on Earth -”
Hal cut him off before Bruce could have a chance to go on a rant.
“I didn’t know it back then. I didn't know you felt the same either. I know, I was an idiot. I needed a little introspection to figure all this out.”
Bruce was now looking at him with wide eyes.
“Ten months in space is what you call a little introspection ?” he managed to say in a calm tone that had ill concealed thorns attached to it.
"I was on an assignment."
"That you asked for because you couldn't deal with me being your beloved soulmate."
"That I asked for because you lied to me in the first place. And you wouldn't have taken an interest in me if we hadn't been soulmates so maybe you could cut me some slack when it comes to my desire to know my soulmate," Hal pointed out.
It was something that had been niggling at Hal since he had found out they were soulmates but they had not discussed it yet. Bruce's answer was immediate.
"Idiot."
"Sorry, what ?"
Bruce seldom minced his words but that had seemed quite gratuitous, even for him, and Hal had reacted as if he had been slapped.
"I didn't want to meet my soulmate. I wasn't interested in knowing the person whose soulmark matched mine. If I've been, I would have shown you my own soulmark and asked you out in that very bar."
"Instead you've waited for a month and you've taken me to your penthouse."
Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Would you have agreed to a date ?" he said, already knowing the answer.
"No. And you wouldn't have either. From your little speech earlier, it looks like you had no desire to be close to your soulmate. What made you change your mind ?"
If it had been anyone else, Bruce would have thought they were fishing for compliments but Hal struggled to see how special he was.
"You were intriguing, different from most people I’ve met. You didn't give a shit about who I was. Bruce Wayne and Batman were just names for you and you weren't afraid to fight either. You could take orders at times and discuss them at others. You are one of a kind, Hal."
Hal snorted.
"But I fucked up. And you stepped out of this mess as you should and I ran away when I shouldn’t have. I should have tried to talk to you, I should have tried to fix this and I just left. And you’ve been so understanding about the whole thing that I kinda feel like an asshole. I'm really sorry about that and -"
He stopped when he felt Bruce's hand on his shoulder.
"Hal, it's in the past now. We're fine."
"If you say so," Hal muttered.
They stayed silent for a bit.
"I'd like to try again but I want to do things right this time," Hal finally admitted.
"You want to go on dates and hold hands ?" Bruce asked, frowning.
"Why not ?" Hal asked.
As if he hadn't been terrified by the thought of it when Bruce had suggested dinner with Clark and Diana.
"You're really touch-deprived," Bruce said softly, brushing Hal's hair away from his eyes.
Hal grabbed his wrist. Their eyes met.
Hal didn't know which one had leaned forward first but suddenly they were kissing.
It felt so nice, after all the time they had spent apart, to be so close again, to feel Bruce's body against his.
After some time, they pulled apart.
"Maybe I am not the only touch-starved one, um ?" Hal murmured as he stroked Bruce's cheek.
"Shut up," Bruce had retorted before pulling him close again.
They had fallen asleep on the couch. When Bruce had woken up in the morning, Hal was still curled up against him.
"Go back to sleep." he had mumbled, head buried against Bruce's torso. "I won't run away ever again."
When he had woken up again, Bruce had had to wonder if he had dreamt Hal's words. It looked like the Lantern was gone.
Bruce had sat and rubbed his eyes. There was a folded piece of paper on the coffee table. He picked it up. It was a thank you note, in his own handwriting.
Oh, Hal.
How many times the same person could break a man's heart ?
Just as Bruce contemplated whether to burn the piece of paper or not, Hal entered the room with a triumphant air on his face, brandishing a green highlighter.
"Hey, Bruce," he said, kissing him softly.
Hal took the piece of paper from him and highlighted the two words on it. He was humming. Bruce was considering throttling him.
“Here. It lacked color,” Hal said, discarding the highlighter and it was enough for Bruce to forget about his assassination plot.
"It did," Bruce said, his left hand wrapping around Hal's right one. "But it's fine now."
Hal looked down at the interlaced black and green patterns.
“Barry texted me earlier, when you were asleep. He wants to throw a small party for my return. It won’t be anything big, just a casual League dinner. Would you be my date ?”
Bruce squeezed his hand.
“Hal, it’s… I’d love to but we can take this as slow as you need. There’s no rush. If you’re not ready to tell our friends yet, it’s fine. It’s not some sort of requirement I have.”
Hal shook his head, let his free hand rest on Bruce’s shoulder and kissed him thoroughly. It shouldn’t be allowed to look so attractive in the morning.
“We’ve wasted enough time. It took me long enough. I love you so much it scares me and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, telling them in months or right now won’t change anything about that.”
Bruce initiated the next kiss. It left them both breathless with want.
“Please tell me you don’t have to go now,” Hal hummed, kissing Bruce’s jaw with determination.
“Bed,” Bruce grunted, grabbing Hal’s hand into his as it ventured under his shirt.
Soon enough he was dragging Hal to his room, the pilot’s laugh echoing in the corridors.