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“Hey, who wants to play Mafia?”
Immediately, twenty hands shot up. Counting, Ponk started carefully walking around and passing out the shuffled cards. Under his breath, he counted. “Don’t show your cards to anyone! Who wants to narrate? Wait, Ponk, are you narrating?” Wilbur asked.
“Oh, no.” Ponk replied, sitting down next to Sam and Purpled again. Purpled was sleeping, but Sam took a card. “Who wants to do it?”
“Oh! Oh! I do, I do!” Tubbo waved a hand around. Ponk passed the cards way back to him, and he grinned and then sat up. Glanced around. “Okay, uh…what are the rules with the card things?”
“We have everyone in play. Cupid, Sheriff, Medic, and Mafia, obviously. Just one Mafia, though.” Ponk explained, listing the roles off on his finger. “Okay. Cupid is Ace of Hearts. Sheriff is King. Queen is Medic. Mafia is Jack.”
“What? Why am I the Mafia?” Jack asked, looking around. Everyone stared at him for a second. Under his eyes were some very obvious dark circles, so everyone ignored him. Charlie leaned over and whispered in his ear.
“Okay, do we have a setting that anyone wants?” Tubbo asked, glancing around.
“L’Manburg!” Tommy yelled, throwing a fist in the air. In the front of the bus, George laughed and said a joke to Dream in the driver’s seat, Sapnap laid across his stomach since Karl and Quackity were playing the game. Purpled was asleep. Techno was busy reading a book, curled up in his seat and ignoring everyone.
“Which era?”
“First.” Wilbur announced.
“Alright! First era L’Manburg.” Grinning, he rubbed his hands together. Then, Tubbo spoke, “Okay. Uh…everyone go to sleep!” Everyone playing ducked their heads into their chairs or just closed their eyes. Taking a breath, Tubbo glanced around. Made sure everyone was doing as told, then he grinned, “Mafia, wake up!”
Next to Kristin, Phil raised his head. He pointed at Minx. A sly grin played on his face.
“Alright. Mafia, go to sleep.” Tubbo paused. “Okay, uh…Cupid, wake up.”
Fundy raised his head. Grinned. He glanced around for about two seconds, then pointed to Phil and then Kristin. Tubbo shot him a look, and Fundy shrugged before dropping his head down.
“Alright. Cupid’s asleep. Let me get up, I’ll smack the people who Cupid picked.”
“You better not.” Quackity growled under his breath. Carefully crossing the bus aisle, aware of Tommy holding onto the back of his shirt as he walked across the aisles, Tubbo then tapped both Kristin and Phil. Then, he settled back down.
“Alright. Both of you need to open your eyes and look up and around.” Kristin and Phil glanced around. Reaching up, Phil tapped Kristin’s shoulder, she turned to look at him and smiled. He returned it, both of them were disgustingly cute. “Alright, go to sleep or the sheriff will find out who you are.” Phil and Kristin both shot him a smile, then dropped their heads down and closed their eyes. “Sheriff, your turn. Wake up, bitch.”
“Language.” Bad mumbled from the front, where he was curled up with Skeppy. Glancing back, Skeppy rolled his eyes and scoffed lightly.
Jack opened his eyes, biting his lip to keep from laughing. He glanced around, straightened his back and shifted to look around a little more. He almost elbowed Fundy in the face. Then, he pointed to Kristin, raised his eyebrows. Tubbo shook his head. Nose wrinkling, Jack plopped his head against the headrest of his seat.
“Okay, they’re out. Uh…” Tubbo paused. Counted roles on his fingers. “Oh! Medic! Medic, wake up!”
Niki raised her head. In the front, Dream smiled and shook his head. That fits her. Partially. He mused. Tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, he shifted slightly. Rolled his shoulders quietly.
Glancing around, Niki swallowed. Then, she pointed at Eret. Or, really, the backseat. So Tubbo pointed at Techno, then Wilbur, then Ranboo, and then Eret, watching the headshakes and then nod. Nodding, he gestured for her to go to sleep.
“Alright, everyone wake up!” He announced. Everyone raised their heads.
“Should I go to sleep?” Dream cracked from the front seat.
“No!”
Dream let out a wheeze. “Okay, okay, back to the game!” Tubbo said. Clapping his hands together, he said, “Alright, L’Manburg. So, last night, someone was walking along the walls when all of a sudden, the wall crumbled away underneath them and they fell to the ground and hit it too hard. The Medic was over having a tea party with someone else. So, Minx,”
“ Nooooo why is it me?” She groaned, slumping back in her seat and throwing her hands into the air irritably.
“—you are dead. I’m sorry.” Tubbo leaned forwards on his seat. “Any accusations?”
“I accuse Tommy!” Minx said.
“Overruled, you’re dead.”
Leaning forwards with a smug look on his face, Wilbur suggested, “I think it’s Dream.”
“If you keep doing fake accusations I’m making you all go to bed.” Tubbo ordered. Shrugging, Wilbur rested back on his seat. “Okay, Wilbur and Minx have no accusations because Minx is dead and Wilbur’s being a shit.”
“Language.” Bad said. So did some of the others, mimicking him with smiles. The demon-looking man raised his head with a slight frown. His tail visibly flicked, and Skeppy grabbed onto it gently and then settled it back at Bad’s side.
“Anyways. Accusations?”
“Schlatt.” Kristin announced. Looking at him, she added, “Because he and Minx have that whole friendly rivalry.”
“Fair.” Schlatt mused, tipping his head to the side.
“I second that!” Phil said, raising his hand. Kristin grinned back at him.
“Okay. Any other accusations?”
“I accuse Ranboo because I don’t trust him.” Tommy said. In the backseat, Ranboo made a confused gesture.
“I’ll second for the hell of it.” Velvet said, being the chaos bringer of the bus. Next to him, Ant let out a snicker that sounded half-purr, ears flicking. It was something they still needed to get used to, like Bad’s tail or Skeppy’s diamond scales that would occasionally shed. They needed to check with a jeweler to see if they were actual diamonds and how good they were because Dream had a feeling and so far his feelings had been pretty on-point.
They’d be able to do that once they reached the city they were heading to. No one remembered the name, because some of the cities were really leaning into the post-apocalypse idea and started changing them. They’d find out when they were there. At any rate, when they were there, they’d be doing a lot. Getting food at one of the restaurants—apparently there was exactly one Red Robin’s still established in the area with half-priced food for travelers and free food for those who couldn’t pay for it. Fetching clothes from one of the clothing stores in that mall. Dropping off the toddler and baby clothes they had gotten from a couple of gas stations that had been absolutely abandoned.
They had a lot of work to do, and they were racing the sun trying to see if the West Coast was safe enough for some of the Americans to check back on their family. Then, they would probably have to figure out something where they could get across the ocean with what they had. Airplanes were down, boats might not have been so they would probably need to find some kind of path there.
“Okay!” Tubbo said, breaking Dream out of his thoughts where he was as he drove. Sighing, he stared at the road ahead. Glanced up at the signs where he could see them approaching. “Tommy, what is—wait, fuck, no.”
“Language.”
“Shut up. Ranboo, alibi.” Tubbo said, pointing at him.
“Uh—why would I want to kill Minx? I like her and also I have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair. We all know this.” Ranboo asked, shrugging.
“And that’s exactly why you would have killed her, bitch boy!” Tommy said. Everyone ignored Bad’s annoyed scolding in the background as Tommy leaned over the back of his chair to poke Ranboo in the nose. “Lads, lasses, and lassos of the jury, this man is guilty! Banish him!”
“Alright. Who votes in favor of exiling Ranboo?” Phil, Kristin, Wilbur, Fundy, Ant, Charlie, Karl, Connor, Quackity, Eret, Niki, Sam, and of course Tommy raised their hands. Even though he wasn’t playing, Techno did the same. Ranboo stared at him, wounded, and placed a hand on his chest.
“Techno, I thought I was your protégé.”
“And I have now betrayed you. This moment marks the beginning of your journey to become a better hero.” Techno replied, deadpan as ever. Snickering, Wilbur nudged him and turned back to the conversation.
“Alright. Schlatt, what’s your alibi?” Everyone looked to Schlatt. Instead of replying, he took a long drink of his soda. An awkwardly long drink. Then, when he finished, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Because fuck you, that’s why.”
“Okay, who votes for Schlatt’s exile?” Kristin and Phil raised their hands. So did Wilbur and Quackity. Otherwise, though, no one did. “Alright, Schlatt stays. Ranboo, you have been exiled. Any last words?”
“Tommy, I will eat your children.” Ranboo announced, arms crossed. Mouth falling open, Tommy stared at him in shock and horror.
“Alright!” Tubbo clapped his hands together. “L’Manburg, go to bed!” Everyone did as told, except for Ranboo and Minx. As they were, obviously, dead. At least, until Ranboo paused.
“Wait a hot second. Am I even playing this round?”
“Nope.” Minx replied.
“Bruh…” Ranboo said in a withering tone. Then, he plopped his head against the headrest.
“No whining. Uh…mafia, wake up.” Phil raised his head. Minx’s face twisted up, and Phil winked at her with a smile. Then, he turned to look at Tubbo. “Who do you want to kill?”
Phil glanced around. Then, he pointed to Punz. Nodding, Tubbo took a breath. He had been speaking towards the middle of the group ever since the game started, except when he wasn’t trying to keep identities secret. Smart move of his.
“Okay. Mafia, go to sleep. Medic, wake up.” Niki looked around, looked at Minx apologetically. Minx shook her head, waved a hand, and Niki nodded. Then, she glanced around. “Minx, don’t give any hints.”
“Save me.” Fundy joked. Rolling her eyes good naturedly, Niki bit her lip uncertainly and then pointed at herself. Tubbo nodded.
“Alright. Fundy, shut up. Medic, go to sleep. Sheriff, wake up.” Jack raised his head.
Pausing, Jack hesitantly pointed at Fundy.
Tubbo shook his head.
Nose wrinkling up, Jack did a silent snap and then dropped his head against his arms.
“Alright. Everyone wake up.” Tubbo cracked his knuckles, sat up a bit more. They went over a bump. On instinct, Tommy and Ranboo grabbed him by his shirt to keep him steady. “Thanks. Uh, anyways, last night our lovely Mafia decided to go and wander around to try and find someone to kill. Of course, since it was the middle of the festival, they decided to go to the axe throwing booth. There, they sabotaged one of the axes. Punz, I’m sorry, but you’re dead. The Medic was off getting their face painted.”
Punz shrugged, then shifted Purpled in his arms and laid back against the window with his eyes closed. He didn’t even seem to care.
“Any accusations?”
“I think it was Schlatt, because he would have had to set up the festival.” Connor accused.
“Any seconds?” There was a pause. “Minx, put your hand down. Wilbur—oh, no, actually you’re fine this round. You second the accusation?”
“Mhmm.”
Nose twitching, Schlatt replied, “I accuse Connor!”
“I’ll second!” Quackity said.
Looking at him, Puffy pointed out, “Didn’t you literally vote against him last round?”
“No.” Quackity lied. All of a sudden, in the back, Techno flinched. Jerking forwards, he slapped a hand on the back of his neck. Then, he groaned.
“Dreaaammm?”
“Yeah?”
“The bus air conditioning is leaking. When’s the nearest gas station?”
“I’ll pull over now.” Techno grunted out a thanks. They pulled off of the road and to the gas station. Almost immediately, Techno was out of the bus and in the gas station, leaving his book behind so that it wouldn’t get wet.
Standing up, George cleared his throat. “Alright, everyone. If you have money, you can get snacks. This is an actual working gas station. Sapnap, you know what snacks we get? Dream and I are going to gas up the bus.” Nodding, Sapnap ducked out of the bus. George reached over and grabbed his hoodie, then pulled him back. “Hold on, fireboy. We’re going to mark everyone down when they come back so we’ll need to check in so we don’t accidentally leave you.”
“Good to know.” Tommy admitted.
“Alright, no have at it. Grab snacks. Have fun. Don’t destroy anything.” With that, Tommy grabbed Ranboo and Tubbo and then pulled them after him and looked around the aisles.
“Hi, there!” Tommy said, waving to the cashier. There was a nod and a wave, but not much else.
“Uh, can you let go of my hand? I need to go—bathroom.” Ranboo explained. Nodding, Tommy let him go. “Can you grab me a Fanta? I don’t care what kind.”
“No problem!” Tommy pulled Tubbo after him to the sodas. Some of the others were there. Jack offered him a Coke. “Thanks, Jack.”
“Mhmm. Want anything else?”
“Ranboo wants a Fanta but he’s taking a piss or something. Can’t blame him, not like we have anything but the woods on the road.” Tommy commented. Nodding, Jack handed him a strawberry Fanta. Handing the sodas to Tubbo, Tommy turned and asked, “You want anything?”
“Nah I’m grabbing a water bottle once we’re back on the bus—Sapnap why are you grabbing kids electrolyte thingies?”
Looking over, Sapnap replied, “Because George has been sick and I’m pretty sure he might actually have a cold. Ironically.” Shaking his head, he mused, “So I’m also going to make sure that he and Dream get some food, too.”
When Ranboo came back, and the three of them had picked out their snacks and paid for them, they returned to the bus. There, they found Techno attempting to jury-rig an ICEE cup to the air conditioning unit with duct tape and shoelaces. “Uh, Tech? Whatcha doing there?” Tommy asked, smiling slightly as he and Tubbo settled down in their row with their snacks in hand.
“I’m not having fucking air conditioning water drop onto me for however long it takes to get the damn thing fixed.”
+++
Phil won the game of Mafia, somehow.
Actually, almost everyone knew. He cheated with Kristin. Not on Kristin. She found out that Phil was the Mafia, somehow. Then, she systematically helped him vote every—single—person out. It started with Jack, then Niki, and then slowly she and her husband basically went Goddess and Angel of Death on everyone. Wilbur and Tommy were the only ones left alive, with Fundy being the last one murdered and Tommy and Wilbur refusing to vote any of the others out, which was when Tubbo lost it and announced the game done. Pretty funny, actually.
They did have to pull over for a hot second in order for Connor and Alyssa, who were still in their wolf forms (most of the time), out to stretch their legs. Alyssa faced off with a bear and chased it off when it got too close to the others. Connor managed to get his nose full of porcupine quills and so Schlatt had to hold onto him while Phil slowly removed quills from his nose and face.
They also had to stop so Techno could dump out the ICEE cups, using the trash can for an emergency water-catcher. It wasn’t bad stuff dripping, just gray water. Cold gray water, too.
Arms crossed, Tommy leaned back against his seat. “So, Connor, Alyssa, can you two…go back to human form?” Alyssa shot him a look and stood back. Then, as she did, she shifted easily, fluffed her hair out around her shoulders. Her eyes seemed slightly sharper, a bit more yellowed like a wolf’s. Connor’s eyes were doing the same. “Cool. Connor?”
Connor started making an awkward noise like he was about to take a shit. Thankfully, he didn’t take a shit. Instead, he shifted back to a human, “I am so glad that we keep our clothes.” He mumbled, pulling his jacket closer and shivering. “But it hurts. Lys, how are you not hurting?”
“Periods.” She replied simply. Nodding, Connor plopped down on the seats beside her, and Callahan moved over and threw his legs over Connor to tangle with Alyssa’s. She stroked her fingers through Connor’s hair, eyes darting around as if asking for a challenge. No one wanted to give her one, though, so she softened after a second, smiled lightly and tipped her head to the side. “Think we’ll have enough seats at Red Robins’?”
“We called them beforehand. They said they’ll be alright.” Dream replied, tipping the rearview mirror so that he could meet Alyssa’s gaze. Smiling, he said, “Nice to see you again.”
“Anyone want to do another game of Mafia?” Ponk asked, gesturing with the cards.
+++
When they got to the city, the first thing Tommy noticed was that their bus was being flanked.
Not by cars, no. This was something else. People riding creatures that looked somewhere between a velociraptor and a large cat. Long tails that stayed still, patterned fur the same as a cat’s and four limbs. The shape of the head was decidedly uncatlike, though. As were the eyes, and the eyes of the one closest focused on Tommy with an unnatural yellow glow. Then, they narrowed. The animal itself was massive, with large and tapered ears, a long neck and back. A sleek face. Large, round paws reached out with tufted toes, unsheathed claws flashing like flint in the moonlight. Intricate chocolate brown stripes wrapped over the just-lighter brown fur coating a well-muscled and powerful body. The muzzle stretched out, lips naturally peeled back like a raptor’s to show off the neat rows of sharp fangs.
Perched on the creature’s back was someone swathed in white clothes. They had a cloak, a scarf wrapped around their face and a belt at their waist and from one shoulder to the opposite hip. Crouching above the saddle like a jockey, holding onto two metal bars attached to the leather seat where they began to reach over the animal’s shoulders, they had a massive staff of sorts strapped to their back. A nasty-looking metal hook sat at the end above their shoulder. They had boots and wrappings at their hands, feet, and shoulders. Even with the white flashing in the moon’s light, Tommy could also see the outline of armor plates under the rippling fabric.
These people knew what they were doing, and he swallowed and pushed himself closer to the seat. Reaching up, Dream turned off the lights inside the bus as they reached the city. The moon cast dramatic shadows across the plain-like area around them. If Tommy had a guess, the plain hadn’t been there a year ago. Maybe not even six months ago. But there it was, and there was a city sitting on it that had been changed but remained where it was. Bright city lights beamed down around them as they passed through where farmland was starting to spread.
Eventually, they made it to the mall. One of the creatures continued on with them, a jet black one with small dappling when the light hit its coat. It led them into the parking lot and then to their parking spot. Sitting down, it watched them, lifted a paw and started licking at it. Its rider slid off and then walked over to Dream’s window.
“Hey, there. We’re here for, uh, Red Robin’s and some shopping. We have trade if you want it.” Dream introduced.
“We just need a number of how many of you there are.” An unfamiliar voice said.
“Oh, uh…” Tipping his head back, Dream turned to George. Asked him the number. George replied, and Dream answered, “Thirty-one? I believe?”
“Good to know. I’ll have a signal sent to the restaurant, let them know you’re here. Why don’t you send your orders in already? Do you need medical or clothes?”
“Uhm…” Dream glanced back at everyone. “I think we’re good on the former but as for the latter we’re definitely not very well armored.”
“We can trade in diamonds!” Skeppy said, reaching up and picking off a couple more loose diamond scales and then tucking them away into a little bag. The bag that was full with little diamond scales he’d been shedding constantly. As far as anyone could tell, it happened every day. They did research. Apparently, the rest of them shed skin cells, too, Skeppy’s was just a lot more obvious because his diamond shedding was in bigger chunks. And diamonds.
“Okay. We can get some of you to the forgers and armorers. They work amazingly fast, they’re absolutely brilliant.” Clearing their throat, they said, “Why don’t you guys all come out and then I’ll intro myself and my buddy?”
Everyone slowly filed out of the bus and locked up. Then, they all watched as their new guard walked around, their feline-raptor friend behind them.
“This is Jett, she’s a Sirex. I’m Kodiak, call me Kodi, I go by she/they. Come on, let’s go.” Kodi pulled off her hood, revealing bright peacock green hair and pale blue eyes. Turquoise and sea green scales flecked their cheeks and neck, and they walked ahead confidently. “We don’t mind if you’re hybrids, just let us know if you know any of them so that we can help you with your armor. We’d appreciate if you left something behind, whether it’s money or just tradeable goods, but if you don’t have anything then we perfectly understand.”
Tommy followed, glancing over at Ranboo and beaming at Tubbo as they went.
+++
“Okay, Tommy, why did you fight a vending machine?”
Shoving chicken strips into his mouth like he would never see food again, Tommy flipped Fundy off. “It wasn’t giving him his fucking apple juice. Leave him alone.” Tubbo snapped lightly. Next to him, Purpled shrugged. “We have Purpled to thank for it.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Shifting his legs, Tommy glanced down. Most of them had been fitted for armor, which was being made while they were at dinner. They had one of the back rooms, not because they were special but solely because they were a large group and they and other groups needed to be able to hear themselves. So, they were in their own little private room. Tommy had been able to pick up some light tan cargo pants, some new white socks, and a new set of shirts. He’d switched out the high-visibility white for black instead. The colored collars and sleeves stayed, though. There were a couple different undershirts, too. All of them had been outfitted for leather armor.
And Tommy’s back wasn’t killing him for once, which was nice.
“Where do you put all of that?” Ranboo asked as they got their third replacement of a fries basket. Staring down at Tommy, he blinked a couple of times. His eyes looked a bit off in the bright fluorescent lights.
Phil chugged his sixth water of the night. Tommy did the same. They really could actually eat this time. Didn’t have to worry about too-rich food (for the most part; the restaurant had food that wasn’t rich on purpose except for some of the desserts). Didn’t have to worry about monsters or attackers, most notably.
“It goes into my awesomeness.” Tommy replied, looking around. most of them had changed into something shockingly similar to one of their Minecraft skins, except for some of the most obvious cases. Dream and Connor, obviously, weren’t in a lime green morphsuit or a Sonic costume. Techno didn’t have a bright red cape, except for in his backpack where he did have one. Ranboo didn’t have a suit. Neither did Schlatt.
Glancing around, Tommy kept shoving chicken and fries into his mouth, not in the mood to take a breath. He was starving. Like…actually starving? In a way that was not normal for teenager. Puffy had a red turtleneck and black trousers on, plus her dark brown combat boots. She had ordered both armor and a black trenchcoat with golden lining and buttons. Total pirate-style, she had mentioned it beforehand.
Techno had something similar to his normal attire on, a white shirt with golden buttons and jet black trousers under a reddish jacket. He didn’t have a mask “yet”, probably had commissioned one.
Charlie, Jack, Tubbo, Ranboo, Connor, Karl, Ponk, Punz, Purpled, and Quackity all had decidedly “normal” outfits. Mostly cargo pants, combat boots in some color, and then some form of hoodie or shirt or jacket. Jack had his classic glasses. Velvet had an outfit that had actually survived the wear and tear, leaving his hoodie to get sewn back together. Now he was sitting in a black t-shirt and cargo pants, Ant in the exact same outfit beside him. Sam had a black coat on and matching trousers and boots. No indication of what was underneath.
Wiilbur had an atrocious-looking yellow sweater under a brown trenchcoat. He looked like what his resurrected form sort of looked like, at least in Tommy’s head. And as accurate as a block man could be. Alyssa, Minx, and Niki had taken similar routs—dark clothes made for fighting and also stealth, styling their hair back. Alyssa had a mask. Niki had her villain cloak. Sapnap looked almost exactly like his e-boy looking avatar bitch self (Tommy meant that affectionately. Callahan had a hunter’s cloak over a t-shirt and trousers. Eret had a similar outfit, plus their glasses. Fundy had ordered his hat and jacket, had on a white tee and black trousers. Schlatt had a hoodie.
Phil had an outfit like the one he would have worn for the Halloween MCC. Made by fans and cosplayers, automatically made for him and to his measurements. Kristin had a black version, with purple lining and with pretty, purple-accented bracers on her wrists like Phil’s (his were green). Both sets were armored. They were already made for fighting.
They had to pick up weapons, too. So far, they were pretty good.
Chugging some more water, grateful his back didn’t hurt, Tommy closed his eyes and felt like he could actually breathe.