Work Text:
Karl showed up late one night on Sapnap’s door step.
He didn’t see where he came from, didn’t know how the man got there. It was almost like he appeared out of nowhere.
A thud outside his door stopped his aimless dishwashing, alerting him to potential danger. His whole body froze at the sound, fear itching at his skin. He grabbed a kitchen knife, weary of what it could possibly be before swinging open the door to see Karl.
Karl.
He stood hunched over, head bowed, beautiful golden curls falling in front of his face. Sapnap looked up with wide eyes at the taller man. He looked so small standing in front of him timidly. A feeling of concern rose in him as he stared at the man who looked so frail in front of him.
Something is wrong.
Sapnap could tell something was off the second he saw Karl; he knew the man better than he knew himself. Years of gentle touches, shared secrets, and love that Sapnap never knew he was capable of receiving.
He reached forward towards his lover, the need to hold the man in front of him growing the longer he looked at him. Karl flinched and stumbled backward, clearly not expecting the sudden movement.
“Karl,” Sapnap spoke gently, taking a small step forward.
“Please don’t,” Karl’s voice sounded raw, as if he had been crying. His eyes were cast down towards the ground.
“What happened?” He asked.
“I can’t,” Karl took in a shaky breath. “I— I don’t…”
He looked so fragile, as if he would shatter at any moment if Sapnap pushed him too far. Nonetheless, he wanted—needed—to take the man in his arms, give him sanctuary, show him that he was safe; to prove to him nothing would harm him, not here, not with him.
“It’s okay. It’s okay, come here.” Tenderness poured out of Sapnaps voice, as he reached forward pulling the man into his chest. Karl collapsed against him without hesitation as Sapnap rubbed soothing circles on his back, kissing the top of his head. “Take your time. It’s okay, my love.”
“I don’t,” Karl’s voice was sharp before he cut himself off with a quick inhale, shoulders shaking; He was crying. “I can’t remember.”
Sapnap hummed, trying not to let his nonplussed expression show. This had been happening lately. Sapnap would find himself left alone for weeks on end— not that he minded, he liked being alone, but he missed his lover. He missed the simplicity of how it was before everything had gone wrong.
Karl would return eventually, but things were missing, moments were gone.
Karl was there physically, but he wasn’t there, not really.
“Are you…” Sapnap spoke slowly, bringing his hand’s movements to a halt. “Are you alright?”
“I-” Karl paused for a moment before moving out of the safety of Sapnap’s arms. He wiped his eyes, standing up straight, and moved to step forward into the house. He grimaced as he put weight down on his foot. “Yes. I’m fine.”
“Karl.” He objected. “You can barely walk.”
“I’m fine.” Karl argued.
“I can tell that you’re not.” He gestured down at Karl’s injured foot that he was shifting weight off of. “Just stop being so stubborn and let me help you… Please?”
Karl paused for a moment, an unreadable expression on his face. After a moment, he sighed, giving in. “Okay.”
“Yeah?”
Karl nodded as Sapnap moved towards him. He wrapped his arm under his shoulder, allowing the man to put his weight onto him. Karl shivered and pulled him closer as a gust of cold midnight air hit them.
Sapnap squeezed his side lightly, “Let’s get you inside.”
They made their way inside their small cottage. It felt more like home with Karl by his side, even like this, even now. Sapnap made sure to lock the door behind them. He silently guided them to the kitchen, pulling out a chair from the dinner table for Karl to sit on.
Sapnap walked over to the medicine cabinet before turning to Karl, “Is it just your leg?”
“I think so.” Karl offered, but he didn’t sound so sure.
He grabbed some bandages along with anything else he thought he might need, setting it down on the table next to Karl. He kneeled down in front of the man and carefully rolled up the bottom of his pant leg so he could look at the injury.
Sapnap rubbed his hand over the side of his ankle, trying to assess where the pain was. Karl took a sharp inhale with the action. He glanced up at the man with concern, Karl tried to feign a neutral expression, but Sapnap knew better.
“Is that where it hurts?” He asked, leaving feather light touches over the side of his leg.
Karl nodded, as he flattened his hand over the side of the foot, checking for anything that felt out of place. His partner frowned at the pain, so Sapnap left a light kiss on top of his knee in hopes of easing his distress.
“I think it’s just a sprain.” He murmured as he reached for the bandages.
“Oh.”
With caution, Sapnap wrapped his foot, trying not to make the compression too tight. He rubbed Karl’s knee lightly when he was done and stood up from where he was on the ground.
Karl looked up at him with wide amber eyes expectantly, almost as if he was waiting for Sapnap to say they were finished. Karl was so impatient that it made Sapnap want to laugh. He was stubborn, too. He never would admit that he was hurt, not to anyone, especially not to Sapnap. But Sapnap knew him well, too well. He could see through him like no one else. Sapnap knew when Karl was hurting, and he could tell that right now he was still in pain.
“Can you take your shirt off?” He asked. “I want to check for injuries.”
“You just want me out of my clothes.” Karl rolled his eyes, but a honeyed smile found its way to his lips. Sapnap wanted to drown himself in the sweetness.
“Maybe I do.” He teased, winning him a small laugh from Karl. He tapped his bicep lightly, “Come on, lift your arms for me.”
Karl frowned at that. “I can do it myself.”
“Karl.” He gave an incredulous look.
“Sapnap.” He mimicked back.
“Fine,” Sapnap sighed, “go ahead.”
He watched as Karl took off his shirt, throwing it onto the ground ever so gracefully, grey fabric hitting the wooden floor and landing haphazardly just out of reach.
“There.” He said disgruntledly.
Sapnap smiled fondly at his stubbornness and poked his chest. “Can you turn around, love?”
“I’m fine, Sap.” Karl rolled his eyes as Sapnap grabbed him by the shoulders, turning him away. “Really, I’m okay.”
“You’re bleeding.” He stated softly as he looked at Karl’s back at a small gash just above his left shoulder blade.
“Oh.”
He flattened his hands against Karl’s back soothingly as he placed a soft kiss on the space where his neck and shoulders met. Grabbing a scrap of white fabric off the table, he poured alcohol over the cloth.
“Let me just…” he grabbed Karl’s shoulder, bringing it towards him before warning, “this is gonna sting.”
“It’s okay. I’ll be—” Karl let out a small yelp as Sapnap gingerly patted the wound with the cloth. “— fine.”
“Good?” Sapnap asked lightheartedly with a playful smirk on his lips.
Karl turned back to face him, lips pouted. Sapnap knelt back down in between his legs, putting them at eye level. He brought his hand up to the side of Karl’s face, thumb brushing over his cheekbone. He leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering shut.
Sapnap wanted to kiss any pain his lover felt away, but he restrained himself.
“Yeah.” Karl said, as stubborn as ever, but Sapnap could see a smile behind his eyes. “I’m Good… Fine.”
Admitting he needed help was not something Karl did often. Sapnap knew this from the years of being with the man. Rarely did he ever ask for something, even if it was something as small as opening a jar. He was headstrong and wilful and would never admit defeat.
“Are you sure?” Sapnap pressed, “We can talk about it if you want.”
“I…” Karl shook his head. “There’s nothing to talk about, Sapnap.”
“Karl,” he pleaded. “Do you even know how long you were gone for this time?”
Karl stared at him with tired eyes silently, telling him the answer was no.
“It was five days.”
“Five?” He asked in a hushed tone, his forehead wrinkled with concern.
“I was so worried about you,” Sapnap continued. “worried something terrible had happened and there was nothing I could do to help you.”
“I’m sorry, Sap…” Karl’s voice slightly cracked as he apologised with glassy eyes.
“No, no, it’s okay. It’s not your fault, I know that.” He reassured, covering Karl’s cold hands with his own warm ones. He brought them up to his lips placing a light kiss on his knuckles. “I just— I don’t know what I would do if I lost you, Karl. I just wish you could tell me what's happening because I don’t understand.”
“Sap, I can’t—” Karl started.
“You can’t tell me… I know.” Sapnap cut him off. He didn’t blame Karl for not telling him; They both had secrets that they kept from one another. It was better that way—safer for them to keep those parts of their life separate from the life they had built together. “I just, I need to know that you’re at least being safe.”
“I am.”
“Promise me?” Sapphire met gold as Sapnap looked at Karl. He held his hand towards the man with his pinky out, an unspoken tradition for promises they had made long ago.
“I promise you.” Karl linked their pinkies and leaned forward, placing a delicate kiss on both of his cheeks. He smiled at the rose blush that adorned Karl’s face.
A comfortable silence took over the room as Sapnap stood up from where he knelt in front of the man. As he cleaned off the kitchen table he felt Karl’s eyes stuck on him, not glancing away for even a second. Maybe he was worried that if he looked away, Sapnap would be gone. That he’d become just another memory lost. A part of Sapnap worried about that too, but he’d never let Karl know, he couldn’t.
He turned back to Karl who was still sitting at the kitchen table. The dimly lit kitchen made him look angelic under the warm golden light; bronze curls falling perfectly in front of his face, citrine eyes that looked at him with so much love.
Sapnap was forged in fire; unpredictable, impulsive, passionate. He was filled with rage, sometimes too much of it, but he was warm and bright as well.
And Karl… well, Karl was created by Mother Nature herself.
Karl was beautiful.
He was the leaves in fall as they changed from bright evergreen to merigold. He was the sun dancing through the curtains, painting everything it touched gold. He was the breeze hugging the trees. He was the moon gifting it’s silver, lighting the way through darkness. He was the birds, the stars, the flowers, and the sea.
Karl was everywhere, he was everything.
At least, to Sapnap he was.
“Sap?” Karl’s voice ripped him from his thoughts.
“Yes, love?”
“I’m tired,” He muttered, looking down at his hands in his lap. “can we…”
Sapnap smiled as he made his way to Karl, holding his hand out towards him. “Sure, come here.”
Karl pushed his hand away and rolled his eyes with a scoff. “I can walk to our bedroom on my own.”
He stood up to prove his point, but the pressure on his foot made him hiss in pain. He fell back down into the wooden chair with a thud.
“Sure you can.” Sapnap gave him a pointed look that quickly softened as he saw the pout on Karl’s face. “Let me take care of you, alright?”
Karl didn’t put up much of a fight as Sapnap hooked his arm under his legs, pulling him up into his arms. Wrapping his arms around Sapnap’s neck, Karl buried his head into the warmth of his lover's shoulder.
They made their way down the dark hallway, Karl’s body pressed securely against his chest. The bedroom door was cracked open, small rays of incandescent light poured out from the room. He carefully kicked the wooden door open, revealing a disordered mess of a room that Karl would definitely scold him for later.
He set Karl down at the foot of their bed, a slight scowl appeared on his face from the loss of Sapnap’s warmth. Sapnap watched as he wrapped his arms around himself.
“Are you cold?” Sapnap asked, already knowing the answer.
“No.” Karl lied.
Sapnap gave him a look of disbelief.
Karl sighed, giving in before muttering, “Kind of.”
He shrugged off his thick black sweater that he had on over his shirt. He didn’t mind the loss of the fabric, it was far too warm for him to be wearing it anyway—and maybe he liked seeing Karl in his clothes. He handed the sweater over. “Here, take this.”
Karl didn’t hesitate before reaching for the sweater. He quickly pulled it on, covering his bare chest. “Thank you.”
Sapnap hummed a reply softly before turning to his dresser, rifling through the drawers before pulling out two pairs of sweatpants; one grey and one black. He handed them both out to Karl who paused before grabbing the grey ones from him.
Sapnap turned away from Karl as he quickly pulled the pants on over his legs. He made his way over to their bed, pulling back the soft white sheets and adjusting the pillows before climbing in.
The comforter drowned him in a warm softness that immediately brought a wave of exhaustion. He looked towards Karl, who had just finished changing into his sweatpants and was standing awkwardly at the foot of the bed still.
Sapnap pulled back the comforter and patted the mattress. “Come to bed.”
Karl moved slowly with fatigue, tiredness hitting him like a wave crashing into shore. The mattress dipped next to Sapnap as he climbed into the bed, tucking himself under the covers.
Sapnap pulled him closer so their faces were mere inches apart. They were close enough that Sapnap could see every perfect imperfection on Karl’s face. Light freckles were splayed across Karl’s lightly flushed cheeks. Specks of dark brown mixed with honey gold in the irises of his eyes. Sweet strawberry lips that were slightly chapped.
A soft hand was placed on the side of Karl’s face as he closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. He rubbed his calloused thumb across his cheekbone as Karl hummed contently. He allowed his fingers to roam across the canvas of Karl’s face, tracing every freckle. He trailed along his cheeks, up to his forehead, down his nose. His lover let out a content sigh, a small smile on his face highlighting his dimples.
Sapnap’s hand slowed its movements earning a whine of disappointment from Karl. He laughed softly, leaning forward to kiss Karl’s cheek. Karl slowly opened his eyes as he withdrew from the kiss. A hand reached out grabbing at him, pulling him closer until his nose was touching Karl’s.
“Hi.” Sapnap whispered.
Karl let out a small giggle. “Hello.”
His nose bumped against Karl’s as he leaned forward, his breath ghosting over the other’s face. He looked down at rose stained lips then back up at amber eyes, the unspoken “Can I?” hanging over them until Karl leaned forward connecting their lips.
It was soft and sweet and warm and everything Karl was.
The kiss deepened as both the men held on to one another tightly, both afraid to let go, worried they could slip away at any moment.
Karl was the one to pull away first. Sapnap chased after his lips, leaving a light peck, not yet ready to let go. Karl giggled as he placed yet another kiss on his lips, then his cheek, his forehead, nose.
“Sap,” Karl pushed him back lightheartedly.
“Karl.” Sapnap brought his hand down to Karl’s, interlacing their fingers.
Karl looked down at their laced hands, then back at Sapnap, bringing their hands up in between them. His heart fluttered as Karl placed light kisses over each of his knuckles.
“I love you.” Sapnap thought loving Karl was as easy as breathing.
A smile grew on Karl’s face at the words. “I love you.”
Sapnap let go of Karl’s hand, wrapping his arm around his shoulders pulling him into his chest and kissed the top of his head.
Love, to Sapnap, was warm and gentle. Love was kind, like the first bloom of a flower in spring. Love was stubborn, unrelenting, refusing to be wrong. Love was merigold and amber. Love was the sun, the moon, the birds, the stars, the flowers, and the sea.
Love was Karl, and Sapnap let himself fall.